The Edge Breakfast - ASK ME ANYTHING: Vick chats Swinging!

Episode Date: September 7, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Morning. How are you, darling? Now, you've got some viral attention for a lifestyle that I'm unsure whether you are still a part of but used to be in the swinging scene. And no surprise, Dan found the story. I know.

I've always been so intrigued by swinging. Well, when sex comes in for me, it generally makes most guys' ears prick up. Yeah. There's an air of kind of secrecy around it, would you say? Less so nowadays, but yes, there is some secrecy And actually some people quite like the secrecy You like being part of something that not everybody talks about

But people like me are burst in that bubble Because I seem to be talking about it quite a lot I'm making it less secret nowadays I don't know what it's like over there with you guys How many clubs and that you've got But we've got quite a lot We've got a real active scene And most people on the scene now are breaking their taboos

And they're pushing it out there a bit more So it's still quite secretive over there So how old were you when you were interested and kind of dipped your foot in, so to speak? Or dipped another part of your body in, so to speak. I was 29. What are the rules, the two golden rules of swinging? What happens in the club stays in the club?

And no means no. They hadn't been great rules for life in general, isn't it? Yeah, really true. Exactly, yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, you've got to say it in clubs, haven't you? You know, when people take the clothes off, it's almost like, well, they're in the run to work, then surely the fair game, and that's not the case at all.

Okay, no means no. Say Dan's a new being, it's his first time, and he's like, right, let's give this a go. Is he being watched a lot more than everybody else? Like if you know someone's new to the club, because obviously they're going to be unaware of, you know, the etiquette, so to speak. So everybody in arrival has a tour of the building, and we told what the rules are walking around. It's not like drumming rules in, you know, how unsexy is that. But we put it across in a way, like, you know, to enhance your night. These are the rules that we all stick to just to respect one another in the venue and all that.

And then we have, like, staff walking around the building all the time. So if anyone's got any questions that they want to ask, they can ask them. Or if the staff see anything going on, that might look a little bit, then they'll deal with it. But newbies, you know, they tend not to break the rules. They're absolutely bricking it normally when they come in. And clutching onto their drink, you know, hugging each other. So you don't really get much trouble from newbies. They're just like a deer in headlights, really.

But honestly, within like 15 minutes, we wonder why they were so nervous. And within a couple of weeks, they're upstairs. everybody else. Is there any truth to the keys in the bowl situation? Because that's what I always hear, the stereotype you come in, you put your keys in the bowl, you grab someone else's keys, and that's who you paired up with. I mean, how horrendous would that be? Yeah. Especially if you're

on doing his keys. No, no. I guess the joy of a swingers club is that you get to choose. You look around and, you know, yeah. Exactly. I mean, we did actually try the keys in the bowl one night, like a retro night, just to see

how it worked. And there and not, everybody was like just rejecting the keys. I'm like, no, I'm not boxing off with somebody drives a fierce. Amazing. How does the club make money? Do you charge entry fee like a normal club and then drinks or can you drink? They're like, wow, what is it? What's the vibe?

So everyone has like a membership. They pay a 10-pound membership for a year. It's like a minimal fee just to cover costs and stuff. And then every time they come in, they'll pay. They'll buy a ticket to come in and the cost varies depends on the night. And that gets them access to everything, all the facilities. and all the safety things that we put in place as well all that money goes towards that

and we've obviously got a bar as well, a fully licensed bar but we do watch people's alcohol consumption one because people can push boundaries but also it's not really good luck for guys is it you know, one too many vodkas and they get a bit of brewers droop so we're looking out for people early

nothing worse everybody loses but how many couples are there or is it mainly singles? It's really, really varied traditionally it was mainly couples I'd say probably the last 20, 20, five years. There's been loads of singles during the scene. It's a myth that it's just

couples. Anybody's welcome and they're all in demand. What about sexual safety? How do you ensure that people are kind of following the rules around protection? So we provide free condoms across the club and we provide latex free and king size for those that want them as well. We don't leave them out though because we've had a few times where a guy has been like in the moment put a king's size condom. It's far too big and it's just like spoiled the moment. He feels like It would just be my luck So we have condoms everywhere And we do

We have an organisation that comes in regularly And we offer free STI tests Anyone that wants them We can walk in Or they can have it done on the knife I really like the way you're talking about it And I would never do it now I don't think I

But in all seriousness I kind of wish that this kind of thing was around Because I was a very late bloomer When it came to having sex And I kind of wish that this was around years ago because I think it would provide, obviously it's maybe a high stressful situation, but I could have gone there and gone, you know,

and made friends, I'm guessing, and kind of gone into this work, normalised sex. That was still a bit scary for you. Yeah, absolutely. Clubs were around years ago, but maybe not over there. We've had clubs over here for 30 years, but they were a bit more underground. Now we're out there advertising websites, podcasts,

you know. So it may be a bit harder to find. years ago but it's really liberation and for people like yourself you know you wish you had it back then for people now that have got it a community, a big group of friend it's not just about the sex

and the swing and or the BDSM and I've been to weddings of people that have met in the club they've had babies and it's a real privilege to watch people's journeys they've met in the club just to have sex and actually met their life partner there what warning would you give to certain couples that I imagine you've seen go in as happy couples

wanting to experience something different and then it's actually caused them to split. I imagine there is some sort of a warning. If you're going to open your relationship to this, there is a chance that you could lose it altogether. This is one of the reasons why I do my podcast to talk about things like this. You know, your relationship is paramount and you shouldn't really do anything to jeopardise that. And my main thing is, and it's quite common,

I hear people say, oh, you know, our sex flavour is a little bit rusty, or our relationship has been on the rock. So we're going to try this and try and spice things up. That is a surefire way to end your relationship within the world. weeks probably and you've got to be both equally enthusiastic it can't be one more than the other because of one feel like being pushed into it it's going to go wrong say when i go go to one of your clubs and there's a whole lot of people we're all mingling we're chatting then i've decided that ash is the girl for me and we've been we've hit it off then what happens do we peel off

into another room and do our thing or is it done all in the same room so in our venue we've got lots of different rooms and you've got a choice so you can go into a room on your own or like a maybe slightly bigger room so you might have met another couple. I've got a room big enough just for the four of you. We've got big rooms for loads and loads of people so for those that were new you might

not want to be public with everybody watching you. So you've got a choice to put yourself behind closed doors but then to promote to group play or open play later on. So you've got a choice and then on the ground floor tends to be quite social. We've got a bar. We've got like a big music area with live bands and stuff on.

so it's like a whole night of entertainment. It's not just about the sex. Does the band stop when they're used to awkwardly playing while everything's going down? They're like, do we stop now? When the clock strikes 12, the band stop player and off you go upstairs. Love it.

No, not quite. Thank you so much. I mean, there have been instances where things have started while the band have been on. Oh. So we have to select our bands carefully. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Beck,

for an insight to a fascinating world. I guess many know little about. Well, any time, I've got 20 years worth of stories. But yeah, thanks so much for having me on and being so reminded about it.