The Edge Breakfast - FULL SHOW #479 The Crochet Cock Collective

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

Zero humans participated in the creation of this podcast caption... In this episode, Clint, Megan, and Dan dive into some bizarre and hilarious topics. They debate the most mind-blowing coincidences, share awkward and cringe-worthy interview experiences, and discuss the most embarrassing song lyrics of all time. They also highlight some incredible volunteers and even try to help a budding entrepreneur with her business name. Don't miss the segment on *Married at First Sight Australia* and the fun giveaways with New World! Tune in for laughs, debates, and heartwarming moments. 06:15 Dan's Awkward Encounter and Unfollow Drama12:52 Rest Home Stories and Weird Experiences17:04 Crocheting Genitalia27:25 Coincidence Stories and Listener Calls37:08 Unfortunate Names41:26 What to Watch: Streaming Recommendations45:40 MAFs Drama49:18 Cash Strapped53:56 Cringeworthy Lyrics01:02:31 Dan's Google History01:06:17 Selena Gomez's Auction Fail01:09:42 New World Wonderful Wednesday

This is a podcast from Rover. Ever wanted to eavesdrop on a group chat that should never see the light of day? Congrats, you've found it. This is the Clint, Meg and Dan podcast. Oh, morning everyone. Christchurch, New Plymouth, Hamilton, Marlborough, Napier, Parmy, Invercargill, Nelson, Roto-Vegas, Wings Town, Puget A, Wellington,

Donners, Gizzy. Didn't know you existed out of summer. Oh, yeah, guys. Yeah, we're shredding for R&V. Don't wait to see you on the hill. Yeah, whatever, mate. We'll see you in December. But for now, we've got these.

Wait, is he talking about us? Oh, come on. That can't be us, surely. Okay, one more try. Come on. It's Clint Magentad. Good morning, Five by Six. It's The Edge. Welcome to the show. Good to bere. Good morning, Five by Six. It's The Edge.

Welcome to the show. Good to be here. Clint McIntyre. Cash trap back at seven and eight. And also Jamie, if you're a married at first sight fan, going to be on the show before eight o'clock. Yeah, answering all the big questions for us. Now, I don't watch that show, but apparently she's like the...

She's the fave. She's the fave, eh? She's the darling of the show. Yep, absolutely. All right, Dancy's got a question he's going to put to us for Coffee Ketchup coming up in a few minutes. Yeah, it's a question to both of you and I think you can help at home as well. Maybe come through 800

The Edge. Bit of an opinion from you. Now, I know it's your turn to choose a song, Clint, this morning for a throwback, but I do have a little request if that's okay. But you can't, Meg, because it's his turn. I know, but I just, if you need inspiration, I don't know if, actually what you boys think, Meg, because it's his turn. I know, but I just, if you need inspiration, I don't know if, actually what you boys think about this,

but today is my new husband's 11-year dating anniversary. Oh. But do I say anything for that? It's our wedding anniversary in two days. We got married really close. Oh, so it's quite close. I think you can have like three days of celebration in that case. Yeah, we only celebrate one now. Yeah, I know, but it makes me mad that it's like five years

versus 11. Yeah. It pisses me off. Just as important to celebrate the day you started dating. March 19th, 2004 was when we started dating.

So if you could do like a love song, something. Let me see that song. Oh yeah. How's that? How did you know this was the first song we made love to? It's quite a fast beat there.

Fun fact for Meg though, that was the first song she ever requested on The Breeze. Yes, that is true. And I got hung up on. They thought I was pranking and I really, really got upset about it. Meg was like, what? You guys haven't played Cisco in forever.

No, I didn't realise there were different demographs at that point? You guys haven't played Cisco in forever. I know. I didn't realise there were different demographs at that point. Yeah. These guys haven't been playing in a while. The Madden Brothers. Oh yeah?

Yeah. My wife, my son and daughter and I, when we're on long trips, we go song for song. Everyone gets a song. And I've introduced them to a whole lot of

different bands and songs that they never knew existed. And this is now one of my son's favourite bands now. Oh, you're cool. He loves Good Charlotte. Why did you refer to them as the Madden Brothers, though? Why not just Good Charlotte?

Well, they're two different bands, I guess, aren't they? Good Charlotte was them old school and the Madden Brothers is them now. Yeah, and then they started, like, teaming up and doing... Well, they do done. Other stuff. Yeah, but I like their old stuff. Yeah, the old stuff's mine.

My wife's going to love this. She once waited outside a concert backstage for them to come out. Really? And this is what Guy proposed to, so this works. Thank you, Guy.

Do we actually? Oh, what a guy. What a bogan. The Clint, Meg and Dan podcast. Throwback, good Charlotte Ann. The anthem on the edge is 14 past six. Clint, Meg and Dan.

One of the boys made me cry, I found out. Yeah, yeah, not triggered because I'm not triggered by anything. They're great. And I can look back as an adult woman now at 34 and go, you know what? The boys were having a bad day. Benji or Joel? Who was it?

I actually think it was the one who's with Cameron. Which one's that? Benji. Oh, I don't know now. Benji, yeah, I think it's Benji. That's Benji. Yeah. Okay, so Joel was great.

And I was sitting there, and for some reason, little old Meg was given the interview. I don't know if Clint was there or if it was JJ, Mike, and Dom, like that long ago, and they couldn't do it. So I was given the interview. A huge get for me. I still get skin interviews in my 30s, and I was like early 20s, and they were good Charlotte.

It was huge to me. And I was very nervous, and I sat there, and I didn like early 20s and they were good Charlotte was huge to me and I was very nervous and I sat there and I didn't have great questions. I didn't. You had prepped. No, no, I prepped. But they were shit. You know, I was a kid and I would have been like so like how do you like working together as brothers? You know, it would have, they were just really

shitty questions. Which one's older? Yeah, if they were really dumb. What's your favourite colour? And bless Joel, he was sitting there looking at me and he was like, you know, trying to iterate

and Benji was next to me and he didn't say hi, he didn't say boo, like when I introduced myself, like literally just blanked completely at me and I was like,

that's okay and that got my heart racing because I was like, oh God, he hates me, hates me and he sat down and I asked a question.

I was just going to show you exactly what he did. It's burned in my brain. Dan, could you ask me a shit down and I asked a question. I was just going to show you exactly what he did. It's burned in my brain. Dan, could you ask me a shit question and I'm getting too busy. Okay. What's it like being in a band with your brother? He just exhaled and put his head all the way past the mic down to the desk. He literally did a sigh and then just put his head on his hands onto the desk and didn't answer.

And I just sat there and it was like dead silence from there. And my hands were spinning. Now I can see he, I don't know, I think even Joel at one point maybe even tried to apologise and just got us out of there. He was having a bad time.

I don't know if they were splitting up or something was happening back home. Probably hung over maybe? He shouldn't have. No, it was definitely, he was sad. It was like he did not want to be in that interview and that's fair enough but God, it stuck with me.

But were you like they might not have known it was your first ever interview and yeah. So Benji was the one who was sad? I think so. He's the one with Cameron Diaz.

Yeah, but I think they broke up for a while. Oh yeah, that would make you sad. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, and I think it was I honestly think looking back that was the time it was all going down.

Obviously they're happy now but he shouldn't have been in interviews. They should have just let Joel do it. Yeah, and I think it was, I honestly think looking back, that was the time it was all going down. Obviously, they're happy now, but he shouldn't have been at interviews. They should have just let Joel do it. Yeah. I felt for him later, but at the time I was like, oh my God, never. I didn't even,

what do you do to that? What do you do when somebody puts their head on the table? What did you do? I think I ended it. I think I literally said, I can see you guys don't want to, oh, not myself.

I think I just said, look, I can see you guys aren't keen for an interview. Should we leave it there? And then that was it. I think I literally said I can see you guys don't want to hear no, not myself. I think I just said look, I can see you guys aren't keen for an interview. Should we leave it there? And that was it. Oh God. And then they left.

My worst nightmare. I would have cried. And I had to like bring that to the team. Oh, it was a nightmare. Speaking of crying, actually, I nearly cried on the way home yesterday.

Oh, damn. You guys were there and didn't stick up for me, actually. I've got a bone to pick with the both of you. Right. So we were walking out. We always walk out together to our cars after the show, don't we, usually?

And there was someone which you guys, I'm not going to name the person, but you guys know the situation we were in. He came towards us and we were having a chat, and he was talking to Meg about her pregnancy. Yeah. And they were talking about alcohol, and Meg was like, I can't drink. You know that.

Yeah. And then he goes, oh, yeah, if you drink, he'll end up looking like him and points to me. I was just standing there, okay? I wasn't even part of the conversation. And he points to me and taps me on the shoulder and goes, hey, hey, look like you. To be fair, I thought you were like a great mate of his,

so I thought he could do that gag. To be honest, I don't really know the guy. He works at a station that you used to work at. I thought that was a gag between you two. And I was actually so shocked. You'd notice that I disappeared from that convo. And then I got in the car and unfollowed him on Insta. Did you?

Unbelievable. He didn't, by the way. Yeah. He basically said I was born with fetal alcohol syndrome. That's basically what he told, like he said. And he said it in like

a serious, like this guy. Not even like, just a joke, Dan. We're all having a laugh. No, just pointed at me. But he knows that that's how the three of us

will like rib each other like that, right? So I think he just thought, oh, I'll just jump in on their vibe. He's like bigger and better than us. You know, he's not like a smaller guy in the industry. I thought that he just thought, oh, I'll just jump in on their vibe. He's like bigger and better than us. He's not like a smaller guy in the industry.

I thought that he was like... He was just playing in the sandpit with us. No, he was punching down at Ugly Boy. That's what he was doing. Punching down. I'm just the little man new to radio. And he's going poof, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof. Ugly Boy.

He did double down and did say, you know, a face like getting hit in the face with a shovel. Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was when we could have said something. That's when you would have noticed I would have walked off. And I was sitting there like this. Okay.

And just walked off. And then I tried to cry on the way home. I was like, I'm just going to cry. You tried to cry yourself. Hayden texted and said, Meg, do you remember my birthday from the OnlyFans podcast last week? I think I said to you guys

to ask me in a weeks time which is 28th of April for Clint and the 3rd of December for Dan bang on for me 28th of April

because I said there was a zombie apocalypse and that's 28 days later and April because of Easter I don't know why and I like your teeth and that's how I connected that and then Dan

I did 3rd of December because if you're a 10 year old boy you would like Taylor Swift in 10 days, your birthday's 10 days before hers. Yes. So ironically, you're trying to remember more things. You know, which is really weird.

Than just the date. But there we go. Is it correct? It is correct. Bang on. She's done it. That's the way to do it. Okay, we have Karina from Married at First Sight Australia.

If you are watching, by the way, we have Jamie on the show later in the morning answering all your questions. But Karina being the one, if you haven't watched the show very much, Jane, you might have even seen clips of her. She looks like Kim Kardashian. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know the one. Very attractive. Very beautiful woman. I believe she's maybe Greek. Greek or Italian. But, no, I think I've got that wrong too. Should have just left that. I wonder why I wanted to say Macedonia.

Should have just, yeah. She should have got race into it. Yeah, actually, very irrelevant, Dad. It's irrelevant. It's completely irrelevant. Yeah, it's a shame, really. She has opened up on a little TikTok series that she is starting with, I believe,

her makeup artist and glam friend about makeup and learning. And they did a little Q&A, which is where we learn how much time and effort she put into doing makeup for the show on her own accord. Designers she loves to wear. So one of the most asked questions is how we come up with a look. A hair down to the outfit, down to the shoes, makeup. Well, I've always wanted to be outside of the box.

I have a fashion degree and I also have an e-commerce clothing brand. So it comes second nature to me. Things that influence people through what they wear. So I think you know I would throw some fillers out there each week to Jacob and you know even before we started filming I was like okay there's eight weeks. Come up with eight different looks. So you can see how much time and effort they put on. You can see how much time and effort they put into trying to do these looks and stuff.

And I always just assumed you wore your own clothes or they had a stylist kind of on set or options for outfits on set on dinner parties. Especially when they give you a match. You do your own makeup probably every day, but if they did a dinner party in my head, I always thought there was a supplied makeup artist.

And I did think it seemed unfair with the amount of hair and makeup and effort and wardrobe that went into somebody like Karina versus somebody like Katie. I remember thinking that. But it looks like Karina went on her own accord and hired this person herself.

It has come out she spent over $20,000 on makeup, hair and looks for the show and shoot. If that's come out she's spent over $20,000 on makeup, hair, and looks for the show and shoot. If that's the money she's got to spend, then I guess that's on her. But it's about $1,500 a week on hair and makeup because she wanted to, in her words, inspire the viewers with her looks. Oh, and you're telling me that she's on that show for love, not fame.

Come on. I guess for some people, though, they leverage that opportunity to springboard their career. So I guess if your face is part of your career, if that's the industry that you're in, then I guess her billboard is a face for her company. But then doesn't that just prove that show's not about anything,

like apart from just these people that just want to be famous? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All you've got to do is watch the episodes to know that. Especially if you're wearing your own, I don't think she was, but if you were wearing your own brand, then it's a walking billboard, right?

But it does make a lot more sense now if you ever thought that Karina had hair extensions down to her knees at some point doing these long braids and then somebody would walk in with barely a blowout. You'd go, there's definitely favourites with a makeup artist. That is why she paid for herself.

And you're now that Italian descent. Oh, I was Italian. Yeah. All right, but Jamie, for you M.A.S.S. fans, will be on the show before 8 o'clock answering questions about the show, what it was like, and who she would happily never speak to ever again. Probably most of them. Andy.

I can't. All right, Meg's going to put a question to you. We will try to assume your answer, and you tell us who actually is either bang on or at least the closest. All right, it's Ali we're getting to know this morning. She works as a caregiver at a rest home. She drives a Mazda Exilis. Yeah, Exilis?

I don't think that's a car. I think that's a spelling mistake from our producer Carl there. Brilliant. Star sign is Pisces. I think Mazda Excella. Excella. Oh, Excella. Maybe that's what spelling mistake from our producer Carl there. A star sign is Pisces. I think Miss Excella. Excella. Oh, Excella. Maybe that's what it's meant to be. And married with a stepson.

People always get her name wrong and call her her mum's name. Good morning, Ali. Good morning. Morning, Ali. Hey, Ali, so you work as a caregiver. Are you hoping or are you close to befriending one of the rich oldies that's about to kick it and hope that you get left something in the will? Yes.

Oh, we can't potentially do that. I know I'm quite friendly with all the... Does it happen? But have you heard of it happening, like, in your industry? Some people have gotten close to someone who doesn't have any ear to their estate and all of a sudden they get left everything? Or is that just like in the movies?

I think it is possible. Maybe not in in the movies? I think it is possible. Maybe not in New Zealand, but I think it is possible overseas. I think you need to keep trying. Just keep trying, Ali. You never know. Just be nice to them because you're a nice person. Yeah, that could work as well.

It's a win-win. The question I'm going to ask, Ali, you think about your answer while we answer on your behalf and see who's closest. It's going to be, I guess, what's the weirdest thing that she's said in a rest time in her job?

Can I go first? Of course. Are you keen? I reckon, Ali, I've heard this before and I don't know. You don't answer yet, but I think the weirdest thing

you've seen is or you've witnessed or heard about is sex. I've heard that it happens a lot in rest times. You can't just take all of sex, surely. You've got to have position

or location or something. Yeah, it's too... Your net is way too wide. Okay, you've seen a couple go into each other's room and do it. Yeah, it's too... Your net is way too wide. Okay, you've seen a couple go into each other's room and do it. Well, that's still... Mine's more specific.

Go, Meg. You give yours and then Dan... Mine is... How is it not specific? Mine is you had to go and help a couple who were making love but got stuck on each other

or couldn't get up in some sorts because one of them maybe had some sort of attack while they were doing it. Panic attack. Yeah, or something along those lines. Panic attack. An elderly couple doing it but they were stuck together.

Okay. That's my guess. I reckon an elderly couple, one of them passed. Well, there you go. That's more specific. Like whilst doing what they loved. Yeah, doing what they loved yeah doing what they loved oh my god

it's very close to me so it would be the same thing but your one is past and my one's still breathing Meg's just injury I go I'm not old people still

like to get it on that's fine I don't think that's the weirdest thing I think the weirdest thing is you've had one of the old people like just walking

down the hall late at night and you've been like oh what are you doing there Margaret Margaret you need to get back into bed and Margaret's just non-responsive and she's spouting all sorts of crazy things

and she's she's in some sort of like what do you call it like a night rage that'd happen every day at a rest home I'd imagine you've got really safe there

Clint needs a boy night rages and they're like walking around the halls and you're just trying to like calm Margaret down she has no recollection in the morning what the hell she was up to alright Ali what would match closest around the halls and you're just trying to like calm Margaret down she has no recollection in the morning

what the hell she was up to alright Ali what would match closest to the weirdest thing you've seen in a rest time come on dead one

unfortunately none of those anyone that was closest I mean I did have an elderly couple in the room yesterday together so

were one of them dead no no you're not dead okay have an elderly couple in their room yesterday together. Were one of them dead? No. Yeah, not Dan. Did either of them get injured? No. Okay. And you've never had a lady walk a little crazy down the hall spouting stuff that they had no idea about the next day?

I mean, some do and some don't. Okay, you've got to choose. Yeah, that would be the weirdest thing that I've experienced. Okay, so do you say that you're giving your point to Clint? Who gets the point? I think Clint will be getting the point today.

He's back. He's tied it up again. Oh, he did pick an easy one. He was. I went last. Ali, you guys could have taken that. Sorry. Oh, Ali works in a hospital.

Have you seen somebody take medicine? Hmm, interesting. Interesting. Yeah. Have you met a 70-year-old before, Ali? Come on. We just think you saw an old person and it was their birthday. Good one, Clint.

Yeah, come on, Clint. We'll give you the points. Yeah, he needed it. Let's be honest. You guys wanted stories about old senior citizens bonking. No, thanks. Because it's a good story. No, thank you.

Thanks, Ellie. Hey, we'll send you out a voucher to go to Zed and get yourself a little treaty. Yeah. Apparently, STI's rife in rest homes. Yeah, I've heard that too. Yeah. Hey, today only, a Zed reward bonus day

saves you 10 cents per litre, terms apply. So get amongst it if that old petrol light's on at the moment. Yeah. Clint, Meg and Dan. Oh, my gosh. So get amongst it if that old petrol light's on at the moment. Clint, Meg and Dan. Oh, my gosh. Josie caught us when we were talking about expense, well, not expensive, new hobbies.

Our producer, Carl, took up an expensive one. He bought a $400 secondhand remote control sailing boat. I want to join him on that. It sounds fun. Yeah, now Dan's been googling the crap out of sailing boats

and he wants to go sail with Carl and the other 70-year-old men that do it. We're talking about hobbies and Josie let us know that she was crocheting little men's genitalia. Yeah. Josie, so you only crochet male genitalia. Why?

That's like a large sum of what I do. It turns out a lot of middle-aged women really like me. I put little signs on them. And what do the signs say? So one of my signs says, I may be small, but I believe in you. Go do your thing. Oh, good on you.

Yeah, it's got a little sign. I've got a photo of it now. It's a very kind of like anatomically correct penis. And it's got little eyes. They're cute, actually, really cute. Very cute. And it's this positive penis. They may be small, but I believe in you.

Go do your thing. And they come with little signs. She's making lots of them. And she has said that she is aiming for different lengths, types, colours, and obviously some with and without sleeping bags. But some do sell better than others. What's your number one bestseller? Well, just the standard, oh gosh, the European, that's so far.

But I'm still branching out. Because she does, yeah, Meg's just shown me another photo. Where have you seen these photos? She's seen them twice on Instagram. Oh, okay, right. The one that she did on Insta. She needs to have like an Instagram. No, not yet, because they said, shout out your business, Josie.

Like, get people to buy your penises. And she's like, oh, I'm not there yet. She needed a name for them still. Oh, that's the thing with business. You need a good catchy name, don't you? Otherwise, people don't remember the business. True. They go, oh, where do I buy crochet penises from?

From? Well, Meg says Cro--shaft off here. Yeah, Cro-shaft I thought was good. It's pretty good. You could do member... Oh, she's making it up. Her lips are moving. Member mates.

Yeah. With crochet, do you need a needle to do it? Yeah. Meg just flipped me the bird like she nailed that. I think we'll keep brainstorming. So, crochet.

Member mates. People are like, what is member mates? Jesus, what are crochet decks? Yeah, it does need to be more clear. Yeah. So, there's a needle that you. So crochet. Member mates. People are like, what is member mates? Jesus, what are crochet dicks? Yeah, it does need to be more clear. Yeah. So there's a needle that you do to crochet.

Ben's text through saying needle dick. Oh yeah. It's quite a good one. Oh, that's not bad. That's not bad. Wally members. Wally members. Okay.

Let's do a little bit of crowdsourcing. Josie's business needs a name. She crochets penises. And that's all she does of different shades. She's also a nurse. Yeah, I don't know. Does she want the two to come together? It's just all this energy.

Oh, my God, knitting willy-nilly, Lance. That's really, really good. Knitting willy-nilly. That's really good. And I like how it's... Yeah, not Lance on the end. No, Lance, that's the person that texts it through. But I like that because it's not too dirty.

It's kind of cutesy, like her little penises. Nitty and willy. Yeah. Okay, keep them coming through. If you've got an idea, we're going to help Josie maybe a little more than she asked for over the course of this week. Soft cock.

I love that. Helping Josie come up with a name for her business after we found out yesterday her hobby is crocheting penises. She only does pins of different sizes and shades, but she doesn't have a name for her business. And some of you are very, very creative. So good. We're going to go through some texts first

before we get into the phone calls. One just came in. Josie the yarn boner or hooked and loaded? I prefer knitted knobs from Kate. Knitted knobs, that's a good one. Where was that one of our favourites?

Crochiness. Crochiness. Crochiness. The flaccid factory. Soft cocks, we said last break, but I genuinely think that's very clever.

That is. That's really, really good. The crochet cocksmith is another one. Dicks and needles, we think I said that one. Let's get to Trina. Trina, what do you think Josie should call her business?

I think she should call it Justin Creations. We actually took one of her crochet penises on our hockey tournament. Oh, wow. Oh, good on you. Oh, you purchased one. Wow. Why did you need that on a hockey tournament out of interest? So we were North Harbour 40s women and Justin came along with us.

He got up to all sorts of gestures while he was on the tournament. Oh, his name was Justin. Justin. I get it. I get it. Yeah, Justin. Yeah, and Justin. He was a great mascot for our tournament.

For the positive vibes that you needed. Good on him. Did you win? It was. We got a silver medal. That's outstanding. He came second. There you go. That's outstanding. He came second. There you go.

That's all right. Women used to come in second, I'm sure. It's good to Lance. Morning, Lance. Morning. What's your idea for the business name? I sent through the Knitting Willy Nilly. It was only because I was driving and I couldn't spell crochet real fast.

Knitting Willy Nilly is great. I love that one. I think it's clever and, like, still sweet. Yeah, it's cute. And it sort of describes the business really well, I feel. Nithing Willy Nilly. Yeah. That is good, though.

Nithing Willy Nilly. I find it hard to say, but what about Emma? Emma, what's your suggestion, nice and simple? I'm going to say Wooly Willies. Yep. Wooly Willies. That's good. Wooly Willies.

Or I'll say Fraying Foreskins. Okay, I prefer Wooly Willies. What was that. Wooly willies. Or I'll say fraying foreskins. Okay, I prefer wooly willies. What was that one? What foreskins? Fraying. Oh, fraying foreskins. Wow.

Yeah, that sounds painful. I prefer wooly willies. Thanks, Emma. It's cuter. Knitted knobs, plaited peens, crafted cocks. Shlong stitches. Oh, shlong stitches is great as well. All right, we actually have Josie, the creator of said name to be chosen of the little knitted pins.

Josie, are you getting inspired? Good morning. Yes, all of these are amazing. Thank you so much. Has one stuck out that you're like? Like just in creations, woolly willies, soft cocks, probably my top three. What are yours?

I quite like the schlong one that was the schlong stitches. Schlong stitches, yeah, because it's still cute and sweet. I'll throw one more at you from Sonia Josie. She's suggested positive peckers. I like that as well. That's a good one, because you've got positive sort of

phrases on them. What was the shoe smith one or the cocksmith or something? Oh, yeah, the feel-good phalluses. The crochet cocksmith. Yeah, that one's good. Okay, well, why don't we leave it with you to contemplate and think about. Once you've got a name, you let us know because we're not done with you yet. Yeah.

It's all great. Good girl. Thanks, Josie. We won't quit until everyone knows about your business and you literally can't crochet them fast enough. You're welcome. Oh, God. Yeah, I'm willing.

I'm going to have to leave nursing. Yeah, leave nursing. This could be your, like, ticket to being a millionaire. You never know. We'll have to try and write them down and send them to her because there's so many that's coming through. Clint, Meg and Dan. Let's go.

Let's give away some cash this morning. Win a share of $50,000. Cash. With the edge. Cash trapped. Trapped. Trapped. Guaranteed winners at seven and eight.

Meg's going to offer you a cash amount. It is yours. You can take it and run or forego that amount and take the cash trapped to Dan instead. Michael, morning. G'day, how are you? Mikey, baby. All right, Michael, what do you need money for?

I'm trying to get a port-a-cot for my wee one. We sort of got a trip planned away to Akaroa in April and need to get one. I tell you what, anything for babies is expensive. I'd like... I tell you., anything for babies is expensive. I'd like... I tell you. Oh, my God. Three kids and it's...

Yeah, everything's expensive. I actually remember getting my port-a-cot for my daughter Daisy a few years ago and I did get one of the cheaper ones, I must say. I got a cheaper one. I'm thinking they're all the same and it was awful. We ended up, like, actually stopping travelling with her because I was like, I've already spent the money and she

hates it and I hate it and everyone hates it. So I'm going to help you. Everyone hates it. It was just like, it just wasn't even worth it. And I do think they matter a little bit. If you can only afford their cheaper ones, I'm sure it works better. You get what you pay for. Yeah. So Michael, I'm going to help you out.

$300. Okay. $300. That's a good offer. Yeah. So, Michael, I'm going to help you out. $300. Okay. $300. That's a good offer. Yeah, it is, because I think mine was like $119, and that's still a lot of money, but it was like on the... And isn't it weird, like, you can get second-hand stuff, but it depends on your partner, Michael, where they're like, no, we're not even a second-hand bed.

And it's like, well, you go to an Airbnb and you usually bought a second-hand bed. Yeah. But you can get them... I've been very generous. You can get them. I get very generous. You can get them for $10. The partner will definitely want a new one. Yeah.

There's no secondhand. It comes to that sort of thing. Yeah. Especially when the baby's sleeping on it, you know? Let me tell you, Michael, you could get the Jingo Oasis 2-in-1 port-a-cot with a changer table on top of it with the money. Oh, hecka. Yeah.

Okay. Here's the deal, Mike. Oh. All right, you could get the Jingo, whatever it's called. Yep. Or. Oh, go on. What's even better than that, Dan?

What's the better one in the market? You could let me just Google a good port-a-cot then if we're going to. Okay, best on the market. Yeah, best. Let's see. Okay. Michael, for anyone who's never heard this before, Dan has no idea about the cash that's strapped to him,

so that's absolutely how I'm hearing it. Or you could go Swedish and get the Baby Beyond for $579. Baby Beyond does sound good. Oh, the Nuna's $800. What do you want to do?

Yeah. I think scared money don't make money. So I've got to go for the vest. Shut up. You're not doing that. Michael, no. Okay, $300

is gone. I believe this will be a good choice, Michael. I'm now going into the vest. Hopefully. Here we go. He wanted the jingo and let's see if he can get the baby Bjorn. Michael, you're going home with $500.

$500. Thank you, yes. I knew, you know, scare money don't make money, so you've got to run it. Come on. Well, Blake, Michael, you just upgraded your prize.

You're a couple hundred bucks richer than what you would have been had you have taken Meg's amount. 500 bucks, bro. We'll grab your bag details and get that to you ASAP. Well done. All the best to you, baby. Thank you. Cheers.

Thank you. You're welcome, Michael. Best of luck with the holiday next month, especially when you're travelling with three kids. Yeah, good luck to you. You're welcome, Michael. Best of luck with the holiday next month. Best of luck when you're travelling with three kids. Yeah, good luck to you. Clint, Megan, Dan. We talk about, beat that coincidence quite a bit on the show.

We want to know if you have a coincidence, oh, at 100 The Edge, where, by the way, a coincidence is when two things happen at the same time that you're like, that's uncanny. That's a coincidence. That's, I guess, another word for uncanny, really. Yeah, like it's very unlikely

that these two things would happen at the exact same time. And we had one yesterday. We had somebody come in to meet us for the first time catching up in the office here at The Edge. And I noticed that they were pregnant. I am also pregnant. And I was like, oh, funny. When are you due? And she said my due date.

And we thought, what a coincidence. Okay, it's not the best one. But like, still, if you think about how much has to line up to have exactly

the same due date. Not much. Not much. You just had, probably just had sex on the same date. You don't know anatomy. You had to know,

we had to have the same period, we had to have the same gap between our periods, we had to have the same length. No,

but I think that's like, that's less coincidental than bumping into someone at work who's got your birthday. What? Because that's a 1 in 365. If this chick's pregnant, you've got a 9-month window, not a 12-month window of having the same date. Not the same month we're due, Clint.

You know, Matt, same date. But it's the same birthday. I'm not talking about the same birth month. I'm saying if Dan and I had the same birthday, that's a 1 in 365. So it's the same. If you're both pregnant... Yeah, 1 in 365 chance of it being the same birth month. I'm saying if Dan and I had the same birth, that's a 1 in 365. If you're both pregnant... Yeah, 1 in 365 chance of being the same day that we're due. No, because you're already both pregnant and you can only be pregnant for a maximum of nine months. Yeah, but on the same

day, due. I know, but if Dan and I are both born, we have a 12-month window that we could be born on the same day. Here's the thing. You've got a nine-month window that you and her could be due on the same day. So it's even less likely than bumping to someone with your birth date. Here's the thing, both've got a nine month window that you and her could be due on the same day. So it's even less likely than bumping to someone with your birthday. Here's the thing. Both of those scenarios. If you're both pregnant.

Both of those scenarios to me are just not coincidence. You wouldn't make a movie out of being born on the same day or having the same due date. I want coincidences where you're like, holy crap. How did that even happen? If the person that was having the same due date as you was your sister,

then I'd be like, okay, that is a bit crazy. Because there's another, you have another tie with this person. Who was the person you bumped into at work? It was just a random lady that met us, and she said the same due date as me, which would mean our kids would have the same birthday, Clint. Does that impress you more? You're the person that says birthdays are good. No, but that's what I'm saying. Birthday is like me bumping into someone with my birthday,

I think is more unlikely than you bumping into a pregnant woman and having the same due date. We've had enough birthdays on the same day. I think that is the thing that everyone goes to with coincidences. Yes, yes. So let's go, okay, birthdays, done. Okay? Let's have stories of coincidences.

Things that happen. You were away on holiday. You saw someone. They walked up to you. You look a bit like me. I hate listening to your... Because I'm your sister. Just stuff like that.

No, that's not one. That's not one. No. Because I'm your sister. That's... What do you mean, Dan? Just something that's completely out of left field, which you never expected to ever happen.

No, a coincidence might be in this scenario, Dan, is if your sister lived on the other side of the world in the UK and you decided to go on a holiday in Fiji and you bumped into each other not knowing that her family went on a holiday in Fiji and you guys both arrived at the resort and you're like, oh my God, and your sister and her family also decided to holiday at the same time, at the same country, in the same hotel. Brilliant. That's a really good one.

Yeah, that's not like you, Sam. That is a really good one. Okay, Clint's just disagreeing with everyone this morning, so you call us 0800 THE EDGE. You tell us your coincidence, and Clint will disagree with you, and Meg and I will agree with you. It's going to be a happy, happy segment.

I still think my coincidence is cool. It's still a coincidence. So much had to line up. So much had to line up. The sperm had to be the egg exactly the same time. And the egg had the same period and everything. And I think that's the definition of a coincidence. So much had to line up for it to happen.

Yeah, but you bumping into someone with your birthday, Meg, means that their parents had to have sex the same time as the person you bumped into had to have sex so that they had a kid that has your birthday. But that's the same. Our kids will have the same birthday because we have the same due date.

Can you tell us the thing that has happened to you that most people, when you tell them about your coincidence, they go, oh my God, that is crazy. And we will decide whether we're impressed by it or not. I think, you know, the phones are blowing up on this today, and I think it's because there's been such a heated debate about actually possibly what a coincidence is.

I still think there's still a lot of confusion between people about a coincidence. I think bumping into somebody in a random place overseas is hugely coincidental when you think of how big the world is and all the places you can book and then having to be there at that same time and you bump into someone in Japan that you used to go to school with.

That is crazy to me. Especially from New Zealand, you're right Clint. Like we're a little old New Zealand down the bottom of the world and then you're in a big place like London and you see a family member from New Zealand or something like that is crazy. What are the chances? I have another coincidence story but I'm almost scared to say it because my last one

got absolutely berated. I was seeing a girl for a wee while and obviously at one point we talked about each other's middle names, which you do because I guess you don't know them at the very start. And I was like that sounds very familiar.

And when I next visited home, I went and checked, and sure enough, my childhood Cabbage Patch Doll's first and middle name was the same as hers. I've said confusion around the name. That's a crazy coincidence. You guys, are you joking, right? I have a Cabbage Patch Doll that has a birth certificate that has, like, their name is, like, whatever,

we'll say Rosie Lane and then this person's name was Rosie Lane that I was dating. The same as my childhood toy that was given to me with a name. Come on.

That is coincidental. It's uncanny, yeah, I guess. Oh no, you've changed it. I don't know why we would have anybody calling if you guys are going to

say that as an uncanny. Okay, let's go to Vanessa. Let's see if she's got one. Hey, Vanessa. Oh, good morning, everyone. How are they? Yeah, good, Vanessa. I hope you've got a thick skin, Vanessa.

What's your coincidence? I think Dan needs to go to the toilet at this point. Okay. Oh, why? Because you just don't believe in me. I know, I know, I don't know. He ruins this whole scene. I don't need to go to the toilet.

He does. When you get frustrated, you always wee yourself. Is that where we're going? How did you know that about me, Vanessa? Vanessa, what is your coincidence? Well, I was married in the past, and my partner was married in the past, and we both had the same wedding song.

Oh, that's good. That's a good one. So you and your ex-husband and him and his ex-wife had the same wedding song in your previous marriages. That is good. There's billions of songs in the world.

What was the song? What would have been number one at the same time? Enrique Iglesias. Yeah. I'm just doing what your argument would normally do, but I don't think... Okay, wait. If it was Ed Sheeran, it's not Clavius. Yeah. I'm just doing what your argument would normally do, but I don't think...

Okay, wait, if it was Ed Sheeran, it's not that coincidental. What was it? No, it was Aerosmith. I can't sleep without you. I don't want to miss a thing. I don't want to miss a thing, yes! You've sort of ruined it a bit there, Vanessa.

Oh, my bad. Thank you, Vanessa. No, it's still good. It's better than the, I had the still good. It's better than I had the same birthday. It's better than that because it's a bit of an interesting coincidence. Yeah. You know, I like that.

Yeah, I wish it was something a little more B-side. Oh, I did just Google most popular wedding songs of all time and that is number three. I'm taking it off, Vanessa. I'm sorry, babe. I don't normally do that. Oh, Santa, Vanessa.

Oh, God. Okay, let's go to Meg. Let's see if we can get one that can impress you boys. Meg, what's your coincidence? Hi, guys. I used to live in Canada, and I came back and was home for about a year, went to a festival by myself for New Year's, and bumped into somebody that I knew through social media.

We'd never actually met in person, and he happened to be there with people that I knew from Canada. That's good. And then later that evening, my mum was the one that drove us all home because we were like half an hour from home. And we realised that his dad and my dad are really, really, really good friends.

That's the chance. And we had no idea. This is the thing. The chance of all these little events happening is very, very unlikely. You know when someone throws out like a coincidence and then they try and add a few more little side coincidences to beef up the main one?

No, because it means it's more of a coincidence. Can we take Kerry quickly? Oh, yes, of course. I've just sort of seen her text and I think it's pretty good. Okay, Kerry, what is your coincidence? Last one of the morning. Oh, hi. Hi. Good morning.

Well, a few years ago my husband and I, we were living in Sydney, had a flat in Bondi. We broke the lease to move to Ireland so we got some people in. And there was an Irish guy and his girlfriend. Anyway, we went over to Ireland and we got another house

in Galway and had got flatmates in and it turned out to be this guy's sister. So we were looking at photos and I said, that's the guy that took our flat in Bondi. And it was his sister. So she moved into our flat with us in Galway and her brother was in our old one. Okay, so you rented out your house

and some dude rented it. Yeah. And then when you went over to Ireland, it turns out the dude who was renting your house, his sister was flirting with you. And you didn't know. Oh, yeah, that's the best. That's good. Best coincidence. I believe.

Couple of days after St. Paddy's Day, to be sure, to be sure. That's incredible. That is. That's pretty crazy. Now that. The brother's renting your house and you're flirting with the sister

and you didn't know they were related. That's a coincidence. In two different countries. Wow. Alright. Are we going to do this bit again or are we done with it? I like it. Gets my blood going. This guy in the NBA, Grady Dick his name is.

Unfortunately, commentators have started calling by his first name or his number six as opposed to his first name or his number six, as opposed to his last name, because, I mean, Dick, yeah, there's a lot of people we know that their last name is Dick, but when you play in the NBA, it sort of hits different. This is Dick trying to penetrate inside. They try to go backdoor with Dick.

Dick hard charging to the cup. Dick is going to score. Dick was coming wide open backdoor. Dick couldn't hit it. Dick goes down. Dick rises up. Dick goes down. Mobile in. Dick was coming wide open back door. Dick couldn't hit it. Dick goes down. Dick rises up. Dick goes down. Mobile win.

Dick is out. Dick's struggling big time tonight. So we wanted to talk about unfortunate names. Do you have one or did you know one? Maybe you know somebody that had one. We've got Julia straight away. Hi, Julia. Hi.

Morning, Julia. So what was the name? Was it you or someone else? It was my auntie's friend. It was my auntie's friend. So her name was Gay Goodwillie. And then she got married and she took her husband's surname and became Gay Dick. Wait, so her last name was Goodwillie and her last name was Dick. Oh, my God.

What are the chances? I mean, I guess at least she was used to it. You know what I mean? Like, she's had it her whole life of gay Good Willie. That's a coincidence. That we should have had you on for the last phone. That's a coincidence, right? I didn't think of it.

Hey, that's great for both. Okay, let's go to Connor. Connor, what's your dad's name? It's Ronald McDonald. Brilliant. And when, we were figuring this out, when was he born? So he was born in 1969. Ooh, Ronald McDonald.

Ronald McDonald debuted in 1963. But Clint, New Zealand's first McDonald's came in 1976. Ooh. So they didn't know. So in New Zealand. first McDonald's came in 1976. Oh. So they didn't know. So in New Zealand. That's what I was going to say. Your dad is the official Ronald McDonald in New Zealand. He's the first Ronald.

Because the first one was in Pōtaroa in 1976 and then there would have been ones that came later in the years but he would have well and truly been Ronald McDonald before. I love that. Does he lean in during Halloween and stuff? I think he did when he was a bit younger. Yeah.

But not so much now. He should just be having McDonald's free for life at that point, right? You should. Oh, definitely. I reckon you should

hit up McDonald's New Zealand. They'd do it, I reckon. He deserves it. Yeah, surely. Thanks. Sorry, Connor. We've got Nicky as well to get through. Nicky, what's your uncle's name?

I've got an Uncle Wayne, which I thought, you know, Uncle Wayne, awesome. So you're named King. I don't believe that. Of course it is. Growing up a wee while before I figured that one out and thought, Jesus, were they a wee bit naive back in those days or what? That sounds like a, oh, I went to school or I heard someone went to school. But this is

genuinely your uncle and his name is Wayne King. It is indeed. Has he ever thought of changing his name? I've never had the conversation with him. He can be a little bit crazy. It would be the only thing I would talk to him about every time there's a family party. Is that winking?

Stephen, is it your last name? Yes, it is, actually. Okay, all right. Stephen, what's your last name? It's a classic man that you see on that chose a gravestone in Scotland, and all it's got written on it is his cock. Brilliant. And it says, where's the rest of them buried?

And that's my last name. His cock. His last name is his cock. Hiscock. Brilliant. And it says, where's the rest of them buried? And that's my last name. Hiscock. Last name is Hiscock. Hiscock. Stephen and... And I have fun with it. Have you, yeah, because I know that a lot of people, they have like the last name Cockburn,

but it's spelt Cockburn. And I always wonder if you just like, is it kind of pronounced Hisco? No. No, it's Hiscock. And Stephen, are you married? Yes, I am married, and my wife's last name is Millie. Okay, she didn't take Hiscock?

Yeah, lucky her name's not Eden. Well, she did take Hiscock, but not the name. Oh, Stephen, get off. Well, Megan, you stop. Everything's an innuendo at the moment. Don't tell Hiscock to get off. Well, Megan, you stop. Everything's a new end at the moment. Don't tell his cock to get off. Clint, Megan, Dan. It's Clint, Megan, Dan.

Watch it, watch it. Always watching. All right, the number one things on different platforms at the moment. Disney Plus is Moana 2. That is now out. Mufasa also coming next week on 26th of March. That'll be a biggie. Prime Video number one show is 1923,

the prequel to Yellowstone. So if Yellowstone fans are missing their show, 1923, definitely worth a watch. Harrison Ford's in that, eh? Yeah. Very, very good. He's one of the Duttons. And the Netflix number one show at the moment is Adolescence.

That is what I am watching at the moment. It's short, so it doesn't take long to get through it. Pre-warning, it is dark. It is a dark show to watch and incredibly filmed, incredible acting and what will make it. Well, first here's a little bit of the trailer and I'll explain what it's about and then we'll get into it because it's fascinating.

Jamie, I want you to listen carefully. What's going on? I'm going to start off with asking you. Do you know a girl called Katie Leonard? So it follows, it starts off with straight away out the gate, police banging down the front door of a family home in England and the 13-year-old boy being arrested

and the rest of the family is going, what's going on? And you're catching up at the same time. You don't know any background. It's happened straight away. Midnight, me watching with my dad. Wait, why are they arresting him for?

What's going on? I don't know, dad. You find out along the way. I'm watching the same show as you. Now, what is, so, I mean,

who does dark crime better than British? They do, yeah. No one does it better. Did you ever see Broadchurch? One of the greatest crime shows ever. Unbelievably,

like, yeah, incredible. Now, let me tell you why you're going to be blown away by this show and why you're not going to be able to get enough. You're going to be addicted. Because every episode, from start to finish, is shot in one take. Oh, I like that. What? There's not a single cut.

If somebody marked up a line, start again. Wow. Every single, the moment start to finish, 100%. They can't fix it in pause or anything? No, start to finish. So if somebody did muck up a line, they would try their best to work with it and go through it. That was always the idea of stumble, keep going,

and seeing a little bit of ad lib in there. But if it really got mucked up, they'd have to start again. So it's like that movie 1917 from a few years ago, the World War I movie, where it was all shot one take. And then you're sitting there and you're going, the whole time I'm thinking, the acting is incredible, the storyline's very dark and amazing, you try to figure out what's going on.

But you just go, how is he still remembering this? And even if you're thinking about all the background people, they can't muck a thing up. Nobody can look down the lens. Nobody can do anything wrong. So yes, every episode is filmed. I dare to be a nightmare.

You'd have to have them in the first scene. Sorry, guys, I looked at the camera again. Every episode filmed in one shot. Just some more quick facts for you. Episode one is take two. Like second take of them ever filming. Take two was the first episode done. Episode two is take 13.

Episode three was take 11. And episode four was take 16. Oh my God. And they did film the episode more than once. So you'd have to do the same episode over and over. I think they did it, let me have a look, in full 10 times. That was the idea. but sometimes they got the take earlier. And then they would take the best one.

Somebody would watch it and go, that was, number two was the best one. But then they couldn't cut from scene to another scene. Like, all of a sudden they're in the city and then they cut to the farm. No, no, so that's why you're like so in it. You're literally watching the journey of exactly what happens from arrest to figuring out why he's been arrested

to the parents. It's not like Blair Witch Project where the camera's all shaky and you follow that. No, no. I've watched one episode. I've only heard incredible things. If they marked up a line,

it depended on the size of the mistake. And you sit there and you're like, there's a young actor in this. Yeah, I can't recommend enough, but it is dark. Imagine if you got through

90% of the episode and then you stuffed up a line. I know, I know. We're going to have to go back to the start. Imagine when you're all sitting back in the trailers, make sure everyone knows their line. Imagine how much they're bitching. Bloody Dan. Oh my God. I swear to God, that guy. He stuffed it up again. It's the second episode.

He stuffed it up late in the bits. It's called Adolescence. It's on Netflix now. It's number one. Go check it out. Clint, Meg and Dan. Married at first sight, Australia. Still chugging along. I'm not sure if anyone is actually going to make it out of the experiment. Still together. It's not looking good for any of the couples.

And they always need that one couple to be a success. Yeah. To justify all the bad stuff. The angel and Brett of the show. Yeah. And they thought that was going to be Jamie and Dave. He's the six foot seven dude with the neck tats and she's the little pocket rocket.

Where's she from? Greek? She's Greek. Yeah, she's Greek. She was in yesterday and caught up with Yaz. And Yaz asked her about Elliot, who, if you weren't watching, was a guy who bailed on the marriage two days into the honeymoon.

He was only on the show for like three days and was like, nah, she's not for me and got absolutely crucified and then came back to the show with a new wife. Do we hate him? Do we love him? What's the vibe? I actually love Elliot. So do I. Love Elliot. I love him. Honestly, I remember when it was airing and people like my family were like, do you speak to

Ellie? I'm like, yeah, I do. And they're like, you speak to that guy? Because he was like public enemy number one at the start. But you've got to give it to him. This man came in with every single person having a problem with him because of how he treated Lauren. And yet he left with pretty much everyone

except his ex-wives, friends with him. That is very impressive. It turns out as maybe because everyone except his ex-wives. Friends with him. That is very impressive. It turns out maybe because Lauren, his ex-wife, made everyone think he was an a-hole, but it turns out he just bailed on the show because Lauren was that difficult to be around. In fact, I would have lost respect for Elliot more if he stayed on the show even though she was a nightmare

because that means he just wanted the fame. He was like, I'm out. I don't care if I have any more fame. I'm done. It goes to show you that the editing they do around them, Jamie B makes them a villain. And so his ex-wife, if you want to put it that, that he bailed on after three days,

he has asked Jamie, is Lauren actually that bad? Lauren, is she really that bad? No, she was actually that awful. Yeah. Like, imagine having like a decade on someone and like, you know, resorting to name calling. Like, she came in with everyone championing her, including myself,

which is like highly embarrassing now. For me, I'm such a like to your face person. If you had an issue, say it. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little, I love her little jab there. Imagine being 10 years older and being so mature.

Yeah. That's a good comeback. And watching yourself back on a show like Married at First Sight, would Jamie have portrayed herself differently? Would she have done anything differently? I wouldn't have done a single thing differently. Now knowing what I know,

I honestly wish I went harder. And I literally, I would have just clocked every month. Honestly, I wish, though, in certain things, I articulated myself a little bit better. A common theme in this group is you can talk really quietly and say awful things, and that's okay. But if you raise your voice, that's when it's all an issue.

So maybe if I was just calling her, like, you know, just awful, awful, awful creative things at a lower decibel, maybe I should have done that instead and I could have gotten really spicy. If you want to listen to the full 15-minute chat that you guys did with Jamie from Married at First Sight, for you Mavs fans, you can text the word podcast to 3343 and we'll get that one up for you ASAP so you can listen to it

when she came in everybody like so many people in the building around the edge were just like drawn to her it's like she's a huge

celebrity now yeah crazy I think she'll be one of the ones that actually does manage to leverage her opportunity of being on a show

like that more than most Clint, Megan, Dan let's go win a share of $50,000 cash with the edge cash trapped trapped trapped alright you know Meg and Dan. Let's go. With a share of $50,000. Cash. With the edge. Cash trapped.

Trapped. Trapped. All right, you know the deal by now. Meg will offer you a cash amount. It is yours. Or you can give it back and take the mystery amount strapped to Dan. We'll continue to give away cash at 7 and 8 every morning until we give away $50,000. All right, we've got Claudia this morning.

Hey, Claudia. Good morning. How are we? Good, Cla morning. Hey, Claudia. Good morning. How are we? Good, Claude. Claudia, what do you need money for? To go to my brother's drifting, actually, up in Mansfield. He's competing in D1, so to go and support him, that'd be awesome. Oh, D1 drifting.

What's he running, Nissan? Yes. No, a C33 RL. Wow. With a turbo, yeah. Okay. Well, that wouldn't take very much to go. Where do you live

and where's the comp? We're in Christchurch and it's in Manfield, so it'd be a little car drive. Oh, yeah. That's really cool. Are you a car girl,

Claudia, or do you just go because you're a supportive sister? We can say we're a car family. We do drag racing and all of that,

so it's in the blood. What's the quickest drag time? Well, my mum does nine seconds. What? Your mum has a nine-second car? That's like Fast and the Furious stuff. Wait, what is... Your mum races a car down the quarter mile in nine seconds?

Yeah. What sort of car does she go? She's got a Chev, big block. Your mum has a, she's the coolest mum ever. How old is she? How old? She's 50. Oh, God, she's young.

Young mum. Yeah, young. That's incredible. Wow, what a fast family. Your mum's got a nine-second car. You might be the only person in New Zealand that can say that. Okay, Claudia, flights to get up to the North Island from Christchurch? Yes.

Is it just for you? For me, my partner and my two kids. Oh, bloody hell. Family affair. Come on, Meg. You can't leave the children behind, babe. No, we can't. Okay, what about leaving Dad behind? What about just leaving Dad behind? Yeah, Dad can stay. You can't leave the children behind, babe. No, we can't. What about leaving Dad behind?

What about just leaving Dad behind? Yeah, Dad can stay. Dad can stay behind. He hasn't got a nine-second cast. You know what? Dad can stay home with the kids. Dad could stay behind with the kids, and you could just go by yourself too, Claudia.

But if they want to see Uncle Cam, okay, let's Uncle Cam, okay. Let's go $380. Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah, okay, $380. Okay. You could do that, Claudia, or you yourself could buy yourself, that doesn't make sense,

a CS33 Laurel as well, and you could be drifting with the uncle. No, you've never offered enough money to buy someone their uncle. Okay, but I have been saying that, you know, there is a bit, I think we drew a good amount. Yeah, Dan had the better amount, the Meg, an hour ago. What are the chances he has the better amount twice in a row? It's only $20 more, but I'll make it a flat $400.

$400, Claudia, that will help really a lot to get you and the kids to see Uncle Cam. I don't know how much is in the vest. It could be way less than that or it could be way more. That scared him, Claudia. Hear that? He's shaking in his boots now. No, but it could be way more.

It could be way more. What do you want to do? We're due a biggie. That's all I'll say. But $400, that's a good amount to turn down. I know, that is a good amount. But I think we've just got to risk it. Right.

Go for the best. Okay. And then if you can't make it you can just blame cash strap. Yeah. Exactly. Dan absolutely

shafted me. Okay, here we go. I'm going into the best. Good luck. We're due a big amount. Come on. Claudia, you are going home

my friend. With $75. Bugger. Oh, you hit the wall. Hey, that still could be a flight. That still could be a flight. No, it could. One way.

Christ, George. One way. This is maybe in 2028 if you book ahead. Maybe I'll grab a seat. I am sorry about that. Free plans for next year. Sorry about that, Claudia. Best of luck to your brother.

Cool. Thank you so much. Thank you. Love you, Claudia. Stop talking to me. That's enough, eh? You guys, enough. You said that you could buy her a bloody car.

Yeah, but I said I could. No, but you didn't. I didn't, though. Yeah. As I say, I say it every time, I don't know how much is on the bench. So why do you convince them so hard? It's like you undermine...

Yeah, it's like, hey, I don't know what I'm talking about, but listen to me. That's pretty much what you say. We've interviewed JP Saxe before on this show, years ago, years and years ago. Who is he? He is a singer-songwriter,

and he became really famous when he wrote He is a singer-songwriter, and he became really famous when he wrote a song with the incredible Julia Michaels, and they fell in love whilst writing it. That's right. God, what a way to fall in love writing a love song.

It was amazing. So it was just, what an incredible story. And they had never met each other before, and this song literally made them fall in love. And they were insufferable in love. You know, they posted about each other. But like, so fall in love. And they were insufferable in love. You know, they posted about each other.

But like so deeply in love. Posted about it all the time. Posted about each other all the time. Talked about each other in interviews all the time. They've since split. I imagine it wasn't a nice one. Maybe it was amicable. But yeah, two big emotional people possibly.

There were some tensions in there. They say though when you're all outward lovey on social media, they're the fakest lovers, right? Possibly. I just remember talking to them about it and they were just, man, they were in love. And I remember thinking, this is so pathetic of me at the time, but I remember thinking like, ooh, also not a best sign of like how they thought their love was greater than anyone's. And they said that. It didn't work. It ended. JP Saxe has now released another song,

which I think may be the worst song you've ever written. Okay. It's going viral for the lyrics. This is not a parody. He's not trying to be funny. This is his very real song called Smartphone Make Me Dumb. And Meg actually played it to us, and we think he,

the cringiest part about it is we think he would have gone, I've nailed that. Yeah, like gone, that is the most poetic lyric I've ever written. Have a listen. Smart phone make me dumb. Whiskey make me dumb. Women make me.

It's the worst. You can't listen to that and keep a straight face. Oh, I don't mean to be mean, but that is... You're right. He absolutely would have thought... Oh, crap. Chef's kisses. He deserves people to be mean for him for that.

Is it? That's shockingly bad. It's bad. Is it part of the chorus? So he does it multiple times during the song? He's like, oh, I can't just sing that line one time? I actually listened through it this morning, and yeah, I actually thought it was just the start of the chorus, so he does it multiple times during the song. He's like, oh, I can't just sing that line one time. I actually listened through it this morning, and yeah, I actually thought it was just the start of the song originally.

I know, like, he's got full verses, and then that, it's called Smartphone Make Me Dumb. So it is, like, the main. I reckon if he cannot sing that song live, and not go, every time he sings it. The problem is, he's probably going to get a lot of ticket sales, because people want to go just to get drunk. One more time.

One more time. He could sell it to Makona Makona half-mort God, now that works Yeah, yeah They need to parody that with him Kind of like, you know, just get him to endorse it Like a Superbowl ad or something

Okay, what is the worst lyric in song history? JP Saxe is the high watermark at the moment, but is there a song we've missed? We go, no. Every time I hear this lyric in this song, it drives me crazy. Mate, you just know Julia Michaels is going, oh, delicious.

I bet you may have seen that too. You've got to listen to JP's new song. You've got to listen. It sucks. It sucks. So bad. My corner half-tmer. You may or may not have seen, there is a part of a song going viral from

JP Saxe. We used to play him quite a bit on the edge with Julie Michaels, his ex-girlfriend. I'm going to replay to you this. These are his lyrics from Smartphone Make Me Dumb. Make me dumb Whiskey make me dumb Women make me You just can't listen to it without laughing. Apart from the obvious there as well, like the grammar in smartphone make me dumb.

Yeah, but I guess that's ironic that maybe... Oh, so it is smart. I'm not defending him. I'm just trying to get onto his psyche. Look, we're just saying it might be some of the worst lyrics of all time. Send in your suggestions as well. 0800 The Edge, Texas 3343.

One of my favourites is Nickelback from their song Photograph. This bit. How did our eyes get so red? And what the hell is on Joey's head? What was on Joey's head? Was it a hat? Was it a cyst?

A mole? A tumour? That one needed the music video with it because the music video, they show the photo that they're singing about and there is something on Joey's head. It's like a squirrel or something. But I feel like how frustrated he would have been

to be like, no, no, like there's a photo and if you see the music video, it makes sense. I've got a couple of nominations for worst lyric of all time. In this song, the Justin Bieber song with Big Sean, it's the rap for me that has always driven me crazy. I don't know if this makes sense, but you're my hallelujah. No, it doesn't make sense. Why would you leave with, I don't know if this makes sense,

because if you don't think it makes sense, I now don't think it makes sense. Let's just have confidence. The other one, actually, is T-Pain and Akon in Bartender. No, not that one. Where's it gone? Where's it gone? Bartender. Oh, here.

That's so bad. He's like sitting there, he's like, all right, just subscribe everything from the morning. It's just step by step. Drinks to drink, we drunk them. All right, Jonathan, 0800 Edge, morning. Jonathan. Morning, guys.

Morning, morning. So what's your song with the bad lyrics? I'd say Soul Sister, the one that goes, what is that, I'm so gangster, you're so sick. Whatever the lyric was. I'm so gangster. Oh, I'm so gangster. You're so thug? I'm so gangster.

I'm so thug. And Hey Soul Sister just doesn't quite. Is that Jason Mraz? Who is it? No, that's Train. I'm so gangster. You're so thug.

Newsflash. You're in Train, the band. You're not a thug. I know that's one of my favourites is when Pitbull sings I support women call me Pampers

which are a brand of nappy, by the way. So it's like, I support women, call me Huggies. Actually, Pitbull's being thrown under the bus a bit on text as well. With this one. Yeah, right, picture that with a Kodak. Or better yet, go to Times Square, take a picture of me with a Kodak. Just runs Kodak with Kodak.

Oh my God, Pitbull. Pallavi's text through saying that there's a song by Randy Newman. He's the one that sings that song, You Got a Friend in Me from Toy Story. Oh, yeah. Apparently he's got a lyric in one of his songs. Short people ain't no people. That's not fair.

Sad. Randy. You got a friend in him. Katy Perry must be the female pitbull. She's copping a bit of flack for being one of the worst lyricists of all time. I wanna see you pick up, cut, cut, you pick up, cut. You pick up, cut, cut, you pick up.

I wanna see you pick up, cut, cut. A bit repetitive. Yeah, yeah. Harrison, Harrison, what do you think are the worst lyrics of all time? That song by Dochi where she's got that little mouth voice talking in the background and then at the end she starts hyperventilating. Yes. That really rubs me the wrong way, that one.

Yeah. Yeah, Clint's really nailed it there, though. Thanks, Clint. I don't know who told her that was a good idea. But then there's also that song by Oasis, Champagne Supernova, the part where she's like slowly walking down the hall faster than a cannonball. It makes no sense.

That's just contradictory. Yeah, producers have loaded that in. Take a listen. Slowly walking down the hall faster than a cannonball. Yeah, that's... He's like, cannonball rhymes with whore though. And they're like,

but it doesn't make sense, bro. Yeah, but I guess There's a little bit Of a poetic nature to that Because he's obviously Walking fast And he's trying to say why It is It's a stretch though

Yeah I think it's Yeah definitely a stretch But I still think J.P. Saxe I think takes the case He's taking it now It's an instant classic Whiskey make me numb. Women make me... It's an instant classic.

It's viral for the wrong reasons. Clint, Meg and Dan. Would you let your friends go through your phone, dig through your Google history? Because once a week, Dan has had quite the week. You have moved house, and I don't know why, but you must be getting bored of your Weetabix you have every morning because you Googled 61 breakfast toast ideas.

Oh, no, because Hannah and I were having a debate about the best spreads, and I said, there's so many spreads, Hannah, you can't just nail me down to one peanut butter. Because she's just started buying just one peanut butter and not like jams and marmites. And I showed her all these different marmalades. Because you guys are on a budget. Yeah, we are.

We are on a budget now. She's budgeting. Wow, that's so... I mean, of all the things you could budget, removing some staple spreads from the pantry feels pretty dire. But didn't she just come back to work? Yeah, you're double income now. Yeah, but anyway, long story.

Well, you know what you should do? Apparently spending too much on spreads. You know what you could do? You could stop buying, like, Dan was Googling remote control cars and boats. Well, that's exactly that. Another thing that's come up is, obviously he was Googling the cars,

but the bit that stood out to me was remote control clubs and then he Googled coolest remote control clubs. Just to make sure he was going to the cool ones. There was a few ones that I was looking into and they just look real nerdy. So do you think you're going to get budget to either get the remote control car or the shoe with wheels that you've also been looking into? You mean rollerblades or roller skates? Like the wheelies.

I wanted, ironically, just as a bit of fun, a pair of those shoes. Remember you could get like a few years ago where you tap the heel and a couple of wheels come out the bottom? Like a heelie. You can still get them for adults. Yeah, you can get adult ones. I don't know if you can get adult ones. You can.

Oh, wow. On Timu. There were also those walking shoes. You walk in them, but they make you go at like twice the speed of a walk. They're expensive. Orienteering near me. Did you find a club for that? Not near me.

No. Okay, because he's moved out, so he's like, where are my new clubs? There's a 140-minute drive from my place, but you have to be an orienteerer just to get to it, so no. You Googled how to stop getting followers from insert certain country here. Oh yeah, because I've had an Instagram. Why do you want to not get followers from certain countries? Well, there's just one I got.

It's a bit racist. No, but I've just had an Instagram go viral and I don't want to sound horrible but I just feel like there's a lot of bots from India following me. Right. So if you're getting like Kazakhstan and like people from India bots and stuff,

then are you thinking it's going to ruin your insights for sponsored posts? Well, no, not at all. But I just worry that they're not real people. I've had genuinely in the last 20 minutes about 40 India followers. Yeah, maybe they're just loving your gear. They're loving your stuff.

Do you think so? Possibly. I mean, hard to believe, but yeah. There's a thing around about bots being, anyway, I just want to stop it. He checked to Google how to check his cat's heart rate. Hopefully Kimmy, your cat's doing okay, Dan. Oh, he's very stressed because we've moved house

and he's got anxiety. That poor thing. And finally, my favourite of the week, in caps lock, heavy Judy deodorant. That's true as well. She wasn't making that up. The old Lynx Africa's not cutting it. If you're going to join one of these clubs, man, you don't want to be the B.O. boy.

No, all that orienteering and that remote control stuff makes you sweaty. What is that new smell? What is that smell? I don't know. Ever since that Webby guy started, he's, like, driving his buddy's sailboat around the lake. Jesus, if the nerds think I stink.

Clint, Meg and Dan. Oh, my gosh. Scandal with Meg. It's a very short scandal today. It was just something I saw that tickled me funny. Okay. It tickled me right. Okay, so there was this...

Tickled me right? You mean tickled my fancy? No, it didn't tickle me. You're not tickled me funny? It tickled me funny. Is that not the same? No. It tickled me funny.

Meg was trying to crowbar something into a sentence the other day, and she put on Messenger, I'm just trying to handlebar this in. It was so close. Figured out later it was crowbar. Yeah. Yeah, that didn't quite. Anyway, so some celebrities have been putting up some auctions

for auctioning off little things, bits and pieces of their own gear to make money for charity. Okay. And it was called 12 Days of Rare Stuff that you can get your hands on and auction it. And Selena Gomez put something up on her website. It was her Wizards of Waverley Place wand. Cool.

Let me show you the photo here. She is holding it in her promo photo. It's a little wand from Wizards of Waverley. Okay, less cool than what Dan made me believe. Cool. Wizards of Waverley Place wand there. And I'm auctioning it off on her website. Which is, I guess, quite precious to her

because that's something she did when she was very young in the start of her career. She's obviously kept the prop for the whole time. I reckon she'd have two, though. That'll be a spare. There's no way she's giving away her only one, right? Well, I mean, she's a grown-ass woman who's getting married now, so she probably doesn't need a wand.

I don't know. Going around the room, studying with Producer Carl, everyone takes a guess of how much it went for. Oh, okay. Well, the fact that it tickled Meg, I think it went for a hell of a lot less than Selena was thinking she was going to get. I reckon she got like 800 bucks

for it. Okay, so Clint's locking in 800. It's probably less, damn it. I'm going to go like $350. Okay. Producer Carl? Oh, hold it. Dan. I'm going to go like $350. Okay. Yeah. Producer Kyle. Oh, hold on, bro. No, we're good. Yeah, I'm going to go like a 900.

Yeah. 900 for Wizards of the Wind. Someone's got to go big, Producer Nate. Yeah, so that show was massive when I was growing up, one of the most popular shows. I reckon we're talking four or five figures. I'm going to go plus 5,000. Okay.

Oh, okay. Well, the thing, it is for charity. The Wizards of Waverley place one sold on Selena Gomez's Dan's going to be closest. They're still high.

Oh, no. It was $4. Fuck! Piss off! Piss off! Four bucks! Four to muscle my stomach. That can't be right.

So it must have been a glitch with the auction. Oh, God. Maybe. Holy shit. If only she knew Nipia was keen to drop five grand on it. I never said I had it. Never said I had it. Oh, my God.

Four dollars. Hold on, though. But in fairness, the photo she's uploaded of it makes it look shit. It looks like a stick in there. Like, what the hell is this? Why isn't she holding it? Like, in the photo. Like, in the... I don't know. It It looks like a stick and they're like, what the hell is this? Why isn't she holding it like in the photo? I don't know,

it just looks like a stick. But I went for four bucks and I just found it funny. Do you think Selena's going, I'll just donate some money to the, oh, but the person who bought it still wants, she's still got to send it.

Otherwise she'd get bad feedback. I'm sure Selena's got nothing to do with this. It would have been like an agent or something that did it for her. But yeah, four bucks. Somebody got a bargain.

God, that's so sad. Imagine her calling the charity going like, guys, I sold the wand for four dollars. Four bucks. There you go. You'll be pleased with that, guys. That did tickle my funny mic. Oh, God, it did tickle your funny.

I'm glad. Yeah, how good. For the last few weeks, we've been giving you the opportunity to nominate someone in your life That did tickle my funny mic. Oh, God, it did tickle my funny. I'm glad. Yeah, how good. Clint, Megan, Dan. For the last few weeks, we've been giving you the opportunity to nominate someone in your life for a New World Wonderful Wednesday by texting the word WONDERFUL to 3343.

Laura has done that and nominated somebody close to her who we're about to call in surprise right now. Yeah, she's nominated David, who I'll read you some stuff about. Oh. Hello. Hello, David. This is Clint, Megan, Dan. How are you'll read you some stuff about. Oh. Hello. Hello, David.

This is Clint, Meg and Dan. How are you? We're from The Edge. Good. Yeah. We just wanted to call you and let you know you're about to have a wonderful Wednesday. It's all thanks to your partner, Lauren and New World. Sorry, Laura.

Oh, your mistress, Lauren. Not your mistress. Yeah, yeah. Laura, don't read too much into that. That was just a statement. That was on me. That was on me. All we will say is they both love you definitely from Laura

and New World and Laura has said about you that David is one of the most giving people I've ever known his time is packed with volunteering at different things, he volunteers at Johnstville School where his daughter attends he coaches netball on the weekend, does camp, does various school events, he's also on the home and school committee. He

volunteers as the treasurer for Badminton Club, Homework Club. He helps kids at lower decile schools with their homework and provides them afternoon tea. He is always the first to put his hand up for volunteering his time as well as working a full-time job and ensuring that his daughter and his wife Laura are always looked after and well

fed. God, you sound like an amazing man, David. You could get paid for some of that stuff. That must be cool to hear your wife say that about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I just enjoy getting out there and helping. But yeah, no, it's nice to

notice and appreciate it. Well, New World want to help you back a little bit with your wonderful Wednesday and they have given you, after hearing that's been appreciated. Well, New World want to help you back a little bit with your wonderful Wednesday, and they have given you, after hearing that your favourite food is pasta, a pasta cooking kit, which is including a pasta making machine, so you can volunteer your time and learn how to make that.

A pasta recipe book, quality ingredients as well to make your own pasta from New World Newlands, a week's worth of Simply Dinner kits from New World Newlands for you and your family to enjoy, a $500 New World gift voucher to put towards the amazing catering service that you can do for yourself or homework club as well, a $500 voucher just for yourself to upgrade your golfing gear. Ooh!

Nice! And a $200 concession card voucher to go towards your golfing at the nearby driving range you have too, so you get some time to yourself out of all your volunteering, David. Oh, that's awesome. You deserve it, David. You sound like an amazing man. Oh, that's awesome.

And David, if you're wondering, when am I going to get all this stuff? Callum, our roadrunner, is right outside your house, ready to knock on your door and hand it to you right now, my friend. Correct. Get a knock at the door? No. Oh, Callum. I. Get a knock at the door? Uh, no. Oh, Callum.

I think he's at the neighbour's house. Oh, bugger. It's definitely not Lauren's house, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Callum, yeah, find him. Callum. Yeah, he's at the neighbour's. Yeah, he's at the neighbour's.

Brilliant. Okay, so you run after him. Why don't you go to him? Don't let your neighbour, don't let your neighbours take the stuff. Yeah, I's with the neighbours. Brilliant. Okay, so you run after him. Why don't you go to him? Don't let your neighbour, don't let your neighbours take the stuff. Yeah, I don't know if they're home, but yeah. Okay, good. Hey, well, congratulations, David.

And Laura is also on hold there. Laura, you have an incredible man with you. Laura, the car as well. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, you sound a little bit gutted about Lauren. Yeah. Don't worry, I don't think she exists.

Thanks, David. Thanks, Lauren. Thank you to New World and New World Newlands for sending up that prize for me. If you do want to nominate someone in your life, you still can. Just text the word WONDERFUL to 3343 and get them in the draw for next Wednesday.

Holy shit! You made it the whole way through. If you want more, find them on Instagram at Edge Breakfast. See you tomorrow. And then if that's not enough, check out our OnlyFans podcast, that is. Rover. Music, radio, podcasts.