The Edge Breakfast - Guy Mansell joins the show to chat New Zealand Men's Mental Health

Episode Date: June 11, 2025

This is a podcast from Rova. a lot in private because of it's our first anniversary and all my heart's racing now because it brings back so many emotions that I probably still haven't dealt with and but Guy you're there now. Hi. Hello. Hi Guy. You were diagnosed with anxiety which I think is a word personally that is thrown around like I have anxiety my anxious

moment but guys anxiety was completely debilitating. So just on that as well Meg I was booking travel insurance yesterday and you have to list your medical history and one of the things they want to know about is if you've ever suffered from anxiety and depression your travel insurance want to know that because that's how much I guess it can affect just your everyday life. Yeah it was something it was a complete new experience for Guy and I started out with panic attacks that went mild and quickly ramped up and then what else did you experience? What were your symptoms Guy? Insomnia mania which was

like came after the panic attacks in the sense where I was just completely out of control of my entire brain and I just thought that nothing was real and that I was weirdly like like I was in it almost felt like I was like a video game or a Or a simulation and I just wanted to like hit reset and like I don't want to play this game anymore and like but that Nothing the game wouldn't turn off. Yeah, and it it was like this loop in my brain I was I'm okay I'm okay no you're not okay no you're not okay and it was just this terrifying loop yeah you were it was something we found out calling like depersonalization I remember at one point thinking I had lost you when you couldn't keep eye

contact with me because I was trying to get with you and I was trying to keep eye contact with you and you just said to connect with you and I was trying to keep eye contact with you and You just see that this isn't real and I remember that being like a real kick in the guts of like guy And I best mates and we've been you know partners and best friends since we were 21, you know And so when he was looking him I when he couldn't hold my eye contact and he said this isn't real that was a real I didn't know what to even do with that as his wife and partner and um and you tried a medication and we convinced you that it was going to work and then it didn't. Yeah I tried um Sertraline which works for so many other people I imagine there's people listening right now that are on Sertraline um some a side

effect of Sertraline is that it takes a while to actually enter your system and what it can do, especially for anxiety, is that it can ramp up the feelings of anxiety before it settles, but we didn't know that. No, we didn't. So that is what caused... So I was on it for about five days and then that's when I had a massive panic attack. And then my anxiety from that point on was I was anxious about having a panic attack again. So I was like, I was anxious about having a panic attack again so I was like I was anxious about having anxiety so this time a year ago I

was in Whanganui with my mum and dad and Meg's mum flew up to look after our daughter Daisy and I was like I was essentially like a retreat in Whanganui which you know I think about Whanganui is not really a retreat I But I was with my mom, I was with my mom and dad and they looked after me and it was, it was fantastic. There was a week for me to try and get onto this medication. Ironically, like two weeks later, I changed off that medication onto it's a telepram, which is what I'm on now. And there's been no panic attacks.

Um, anxiety still pops its head in from time to time, but what would send me into a spiral and freak me out and it would take me like two or three weeks to get out of that funk a year ago when those feelings now would probably last maybe a minute. So it's not like as if anxiety's disappeared but it does not have a hold on me like it did a year ago. There was one thing that I was really grateful for, for you, because it shows immense strength of you trying to get better for yourself and for the family. I felt so, oh, there's honestly not even an English word

in the dictionary to explain the feeling I had when I realized that the first medication searcher didn't work for him and made him worse and I thought I have to now convince him to try another one when he was at the absolute lowest like a human can be and that didn't work and I convinced him it would and all our friends and family said you got on the meds it will work it will work it will work and then it didn't. For a guy to get back up and try another one, and knowing it would take another six weeks,

or knowing it was possibly gonna make it worse again, was this incredible strength. And I will forever be grateful that he did that and did it for us, but that's a message I would like to send out, is that just because the first medication didn't work, doesn't mean that no medication is going to work, because that second one did. Such an important conversation we're having and there's so many people that have already

text through saying they're in the same boat and they've had the same experience. Guy can I just ask and I know it is different for everybody but I've heard some people say after going through a mental health episode like you did last year, I never want to go through it again but I'm glad it happened and I went through it. Yeah. Is that true or not? Does that ring true? That is true. I never want to go through it again, but I'm glad it happened and I went through it. Yeah. Is that true or not? Does that ring true at all? That is true.

Really? I don't, really? Well, like it's true to a certain point. Like if I could, if I could, you know, Magic Genie and it said, do you want to go back in time and never experience this? I'd say yes, of course. But at least, at least now,

because it happened, I am, it's like I'm prepared for it to happen again So it's like it like it's just a preparation thing. So obviously ideally yeah, I know I can get through it I've got that experience behind me. Yeah, I Guess there were people at the time who would say like look you're gonna come out stronger because of this I wouldn't say I don't Stronger I think I I don't strong I think I've just come out more I've just come out more experienced yeah I think it's maybe when I've heard people say it I've tried to kind of work out what they might be saying it's like the way that you and Meg as a partnership had to really muck in and work on yourselves and your

marriage and your relationship it's like well if you don't ever go through anything difficult you would never have had to rise to that level and know that you are capable of it. And I'm just, I'm wondering if people are going through it now. Yes, it's awful, but you might look back on it and look at parts of it as a blessing because of who you end up coming out the other side being. Yeah. And Guy, you're so strong for getting through it and Meg as well, like you supporting it and being that person to be there next to Guy through that whole time is also amazing. Appreciate the honesty too bro that's really cool man for

you to come on like you did last year and come on again this year so thanks Guy. Proud of you. No I appreciate it but yeah if anyone relates to it then by all means let me know hit me up on Instagram flip me a DM because yeah it's good to have somebody to talk to about it. 12th of June so this month is Men's Mental Health Awareness Month and we just had Guy on Meg's husband talking about his experience with mental health over the last year. He had a real bad last year. Thank God he's out the other side. And just want to quickly touch on something I said about how I've heard people say, I

never want to go through it again, but I'm glad I did. And I'm trying to understand that statement. I thought Guy would speak to it better than I would. Some people have misconstrued what I meant by that. I think when you come out the other side of really difficult situations, I'm trying to give some sort of confidence to people who are going through it, that I think you come out of the side with more empathy to people who are going through mental health. I think in Guy's situation he would have realised how incredible

his wife was and how much he can count on you at the lowest point in his life, that maybe he wouldn't have been aware of to the degree had he not gone through his experience. I'm not saying mental health is a great thing and everyone should try it and go through an episode. But you get the tools to deal with it then once you've gone through it because everybody's different with this kind of thing as well. Just trying to give hope to those who are in the midst of it. A couple of questions somebody asked was there a trigger for Guy? There was actually something I said to him eventually. We kept trying to find the trigger. And unfortunately, that actually, for him,

and again, we've got to be careful. Everyone's experience is different. For Guy, that made it worse, because then he panicked if he didn't find it. And then when he was going to different therapists, they would bring up other things. He's like, no, I didn't know it. Don't worry about that.

What's that you're talking about? And that actually was for him. Some people speak some people speak to their, you know, therapy doesn't work as well. And for him, he struggled with it. So we ended up saying that it was like trying to find a snake that bit you. We knew he'd been bitten by a snake and we were spending all our time and energy looking for the snake, trying to find it, instead of just being like, right, let's just go get an antidote. Treat the bite. Yeah. So we ended up just treating the bite and we never actually found the snake, trying to find it, instead of just being like, right, let's just go get an antidote. Treat the bite. Yeah, so we ended up just treating the bite, and we never actually found the snake,

but we've been able to get through it with that, and we let it go, and that's okay. You know I love analogies, that's a great one. What else are people saying? Saying that they have also been through something very similar. A lot of men have been through anxiety, and I remember a lot of women have also reached out about being partners to people with anxiety and depression. It's extremely isolating and hard and it takes up your whole brain because all you want to

do is help your person and it's extremely difficult to keep going. I think as well there's a lot of guilt from people who are experiencing anxiety and depression when from the outside looking in they have the greatest life Yes, a great job and a lovely house and an amazing family and then you feel guilty for expressing that you just don't feel Happy so true when you everyone goes well, you should you've got all the stuff I haven't got and it's like it doesn't discriminate Yeah a lot of people ended up saying to Guy because he's a stay-at-home dad and he he found it really hard that people were saying maybe You know, you don't be stay-at-home dad, and he found it really hard that people were saying, maybe you know you don't want to be a stay-at-home dad

and you should go back to work. He loves his purpose. He loves being a stay-at-home dad. It's the, you know, he would say himself, and I'm speaking on his behalf, it's the greatest thing he's ever done, is raising our daughter. And that really frustrated him, that he was like, just because he's a man and he's not in a job and you know earning money doesn't mean that caused his... And he in that role yeah you guys I you see it when you know him yeah yeah very lucky yeah it is it is all I can say as a partner to is somebody who has done it is it things do work even guys said so many times he was the one person that it won't work on even though he had so many people saying like it

worked for me and I got better it it was very hard to convince him, but he is out the other side of it and I can only say that that will be the same for you. The latest text? Similar to what Meg was just saying, after three kids and 19 years in the same job, my husband had a complete breakdown. I encouraged him to quit his job and stay home with our toddler

while he sought himself out. And talking about how, I guess you get your purpose back when you're really focused on... The opposites, yeah. Yeah. I mean thanks so much as well for everybody texting through with your personal stories because I think as well it's so important to talk about it. Even if it doesn't completely solve it, talking about it and making it normal and just talking to friends and normalising that is just such an

important step. And normalising medication as well. A lot of people I know are on medication. A lot of people you won't even realise are on medication. Yeah. Yeah, there was a real stigma. I think there still is for some people, but yeah, you gotta do what you gotta do to get yourself right. If you have a broken leg,

you're probably gonna take some painkillers until it gets better. You know, like, I don't see why we'd do it differently with the brain. All right, well, yeah, it is Men's Mental Health Awareness Month this month, so do what you can. Flick your mate a text as well if you haven't heard from them in a while.

Just see how they're doing. Check in.