The Edge Breakfast - ONLY FANS clint is going to be in trouble

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Dumb chat. Bad decisions. Zero shame. If that sounds like your vibe, you're in the right place. This is Clint, Meg and Dan's OnlyFans. Podcast that is. Hioto everybody.

Welcome to the OnlyFans. Good to be here. Yeah, just Dan and I, Ash Lundum was filling in for Meg this morning, but she has- But she's lazy and she's gone. Yeah, she's, yeah. Yeah, lazy. No, she's got other things to do do like work stuff. Yeah, and we were like, all right Well, we'll just smash out 90 fans two of us

We just come off the back of giving away 10,000 bucks like 10 minutes ago Mmm, how cool Caitlin and her partner Toby. Yeah now Clint's off tomorrow. He's off to Japan Mmm. Yeah, so you could basically just go now if you want to just get out of here. No, man. Yeah so you could basically just go now if you want to. You just get out of here. Nah man, you know, stay here and help you. Do you know any Japanese out of interest? Yeah I actually do take Japanese all through high school. Okay you say something to me in Japanese and then I'll see if I can guess what you're saying. Nice to meet you, my name is Clinton. Nice to meet you. Oh god you're actually really good. You've said something along the lines of like I'm Clinton, nice's really good. Oh wow. I thought you'd be like doing like fake stuff. You are doing real stuff. Only Meg does fake Asian stuff.

Yeah, but you, I don't know now. I was hanging out with Meg so much. I don't know who to believe. I think you just gotta learn where's the toilet. Which I think I, when I was gonna spend a bit of time in Thailand, I learned like where's the toilet and how much. And thank you.

But the difference between kutort kap, like thank you and kutort kap is thank you. But the difference between kotoatkap, like thank you, and kodotkap is thank you and I farted. And I didn't realise when I was leaving stores saying kodotkap, sang, our translator goes huh? And I said kodotkap. And she goes no, no, no, kotoatkap. And I was like yeah, same, same. She's like no, one is thank you, one is I farted. Brilliant. It's like the person that made Japanese just did that to fuck with people They that were like just learning to learn the language. The other thing is well her name was sung right? This was in Thailand Yeah, and um, she was far away. So I went song Yeah, and she looks at me and I was like song like come on

Yeah, she comes up and she goes and wax me and I was at one she goes my name's song and I was like Yeah, and she goes not song and I was like, what? And she goes, my name's Sung. And I was like, yeah. And she goes, not Sung. And I was like, what's the difference? She goes, I'm Sung, Sung, elephant. Brilliant. So you're going, elephant, come here. I was like, yeah, it's too close. But I'm sure there's stuff like that with English as well,

where it's just, to a lot of people, goes, hold on, you've got one word that means three different things? Yeah. Like a beer and a grizzly beer. Mmm. So. Yeah, I mean there's a lot. English is, from what I've heard, if you're learning English, it's the most confusing language ever because there's so many people that made it that it's just all fucked up.

You know, there's so many different... And everyone's got their different roles. Yeah, and there's like seven words for different things and you know, like... Even silent letters. I don't really understand why we need those. My wife speaks, because her family's from Portugal or dad is anyway So she speaks a little bit of Portuguese and the thing that confuses me about Portuguese I think it happens with a lot of languages. I think French as well. Everything's given a gender So you might be referring to a chair and the chairs like a she you go like that's that

That chair over there or like the computer might be a man or everything's genderized. It's funny like with in Thailand how you say the same thing as a man versus how you say the same thing as a female is different. Wow. Yeah so kop kun ka like hello and then kop kun kaap. So you put a P on it and you take the P off depending on if you're male or female. Kop kun ka, kop kun kaap. Didn't know that.

Yeah. Yeah. In Japanese with a lot of sports are very similar to English. Let's see if we can play a fun little game and see how you go. Okay. Let's see how well Dan can do playing a Japanese game show in Japanese even though he doesn't speak any. What's the game called? You have to do the fun, the big intro and stuff, you know, like they do on those Japanese game shows. Easy peasy Japanesey. Okay, oh sounds racist. Why not? Because the game's easy. Okay. Okay Dan, tennis. And I'm guessing what you've said. Yeah the sport. Oh tennis. Yes. Oh tennis. Basketball. Basketball. Yes! Rugby.

Rugby? Oh, this is a game I can win! Soccer. Soccer! Yeah! Hold on. Now you're just starting to just name sports in a Japanese accent.

No, that's actually how you say them. In Japanese. It gets a little tricky when I go Barreball. You've already said basketball, so it can't be that. Say it again. Barreball.

Oshimasuka? So it's do you play? Bareboru. Bareboru. You're really good at it. I would say... Bareboru. You know you've got the ball part. Bore is ball. Racket ball. So something with ball in the name in English? Something ball yeah. Okay, racquetball. No. Volleyball. That's a little trick. Okay. Trying to remember what some of the others were. But I just remember when they were teaching us that in Japanese class, I was like,

I'm gonna smash this. Good on you. Like it does sound like you're just throwing on a Japanese accent to Kiwi words. Okay. I'm sure there are others, but anyway, that's the game. I don't know any language apart from like, today, a little bit of it. I should know more. And I learnt French a little bit at school, like,

Je m'appelle Daniel. Je suis Anglais. What does that mean? I speak English. And not well. Yeah. Je suis Anglais. That's all I know. Yeah. Yeah.

So while I'm off in Japan, what are you doing? Yeah, so Clint and I have got two weeks off because Meg goes on maternity leave this Friday, even though she's been off sick this week. So then I'm off in Japan, what are you doing? Yes, so Clint and I have got two weeks off because Meg goes on maternity leave this Friday Even though she's been off sick this week. So then she goes off however long her maternity leave is I think it's three weeks We've got then two weeks off and then we start back with Ash who's covering for Meg. Now, I don't have any plans Here's how pathetic my holiday is gonna be. And I'm actually looking forward to it, but my son George, he's been at daycare for the last four months.

We've pulled him out of daycare because he's just been sick constantly since we put him in there. And we just can't deal with it. So we're getting a nanny for him, but we're in between the time where we've pulled him out of daycare and getting a nanny. So I'm just gonna be looking after my kid for the two of you.

Well the nanny's there. No no no because we haven't got a nanny. We're still auditioning nannies. I thought you had a nanny and it just coincided badly with your time off so now you're just gonna be watching the nanny parent your kid. Yesterday we auditioned one of the nannies and she came over and she was lovely she was literally like Mary Poppins. Oh is that the hot one you were talking about?

No no no no no this one no she was... Clint's stitching me up there none of them were hot. I mean they were lovely, but no, not saying they're all fuggos, but anyway. You would after a few beers. Yeah, no, I would never say my nanny's hot, anyway. So she came over and normally George is an angel. She comes in the door, he bursts into tears crying.

Kimmy comes in, vomits all over the floor. And the scene was chaotic, like I'm trying to like a sitcom yes scoop up catsick off the ground George is bawling his eyes out Hannah comes out she's like I've got a meeting I need to go and I was like I had to explain to the lady I was like it's not usually this chaotic you tell she was like I don't know it seems pretty chaotic I need to adjust my hourly rage. Yeah. But I promise you, if you're listening, I can't remember your name. But, uh...

He just calls you Hotchick. You're not getting the job, because we don't like you. But apart from that, it's not usually that chaotic. So when I'm like, doing my like, third train transfer, lugging all my suitcase around,

and all the kids stuff that they don't want to hold anymore, it could be worse. It could be worse, yeah. At least you're be worse. Yeah, at least you're in Japan. At least you're in Japan. I think I googled how warm it was the other day. 33 degrees, that's too hot. That is very, very hot. A low of 25 overnight. Apparently, my wife Hannah's been to Japan. It's her favorite place in the world. I've never been, but it is her favorite place to travel and she said it's just like another

planet. Like stuff that you see here in New Zealand, I guess a lot of Western countries as well, is just it's like stepping into the future especially in Tokyo. Like there's so many robots everywhere, neon signs, just life is just a completely different level there. That's what I'm really looking forward to experiencing the most I think think, just like my kids seeing a different world. Like we love Gold Coast and we've been over there a couple of times with the kids, but I want them to experience something really memorable

that is quite different to anything that they've been subjected to before. And I think regimental like cleanness as well. Like apparently like everybody just knows like no littering. Like there's just no, you walk down the street, there's just no rubbish. I think there's a fine for chewing gum or definitely like Singapore there is. Yeah it's like five grand or something. Yeah fine for littering chewing gum maybe a Singapore because

when I did that Singapore Japan trip I just remember as a kid yeah we went over during Intermedia I would have been 11 or 12 and I was paranoid I was gonna forget and throw gum and get a fine and parents would disown me. We went over during Intermedia, I would have been 11 or 12, and I was paranoid I was gonna forget, and throw gum and get a fine, and parents would disown me. Fine for chewing gum in Singapore? Okay, $1,000. Repeat offenders, $2,000.

Importing chewing gum can be a result in a fine of up to $10,000 or imprisonment for up to two years. Wow, that's really like cocaine over there. And boarding chewing gum to Singapore. That's crazy. That's a fun little fact when you do the Singapore thing at 9 o'clock tomorrow. I won't be here but you could re-history that. Yeah, how much is the fine?

That's interesting because does it mean that just chewing gum is just banned? Or if you chew it but throw it out in a good way? Well I guess if you're not gonna chew it, then why? Because it says here, littering chewing gum carries a fine. Okay, yeah but you could- And then importing it results in a fine, so I don't imagine you can just walk around chewing it if you're not allowed to throw it anywhere or import it.

Have you think though, when you walk around in New Zealand, like you look at the pavement, there's bound to be someone's chewing gum that was there from five years ago that's been squashed into the pavement you see it everywhere you just don't notice it because it's so common but yeah. Yeah and also finds for littering but nothing about chewing gum in Japan you know which is great because you know how like New Zealand we're always talking about tidy Kiwis and how beautiful and green it is but then sometimes you'll

pull over on the side of the road to those like picnic spots We're here and you just got like McDonald's bags and all this stuff just all over the ground just I feel like we've lost That's that sadly and especially in the big cities people just wind a window down to throw the rubbish out the window Oh the tidy Kiwi image straight to jail We need going to like Fiordland and places like that and you notice and you're like, oh my god This is lovely and then you go to Auckland and you walk down Queen Street When you go to like Fjordland and places like that and you notice and you're like oh my god this is lovely and then you go to Auckland and you walk down Queen Street and you go this is not a tidy kiwi place. Can I say Meg normally approves all the posts in the podcast fan page on Facebook if you

remember. She said I'm gonna leave that to you guys while she's away. I've been doing a little bit. I saw there were 37 approval requests from things people had posted. Yep. So I went into settings, approval, off. Oh, so it's just now, it's just automatic. Now as well, Wes, you post whatever you want on that page and everyone will see it.

Oh, you can post racist views. No, we do have a dickhead policy, no dickhead policy. Oh, right. So if you're a dickhead, then you're just gone from the group, strike one, you're out. Okay. Okay, so because I'm trusting you, if you're a dickhead, then you're just gone from the group. Strike one, you're out. Okay. So because I'm trusting you, if you are a listener of this podcast and a member of the podcast FAM, F-A-M page, on Facebook.

Because I noticed that people were being like, oh my god, I missed the keyword at 12 for the trip to Singapore, right? And then if that doesn't get posted, other people can't help. But I thought it was strange that it's such a community, that someone who has the answer would give it to somebody else so they can also enter the draw and reduce the other person's chances of winning. Isn't that lovely? Yeah, I thought so. Yeah. I mean, we maybe need a little bit of quality control.

Maybe if you're listening right now and you're a member of the podcast fam, what would you prefer? A little bit of... Because I would wonder whether if we just, it's just a free for all, it's gonna get annoying. Cause you're gonna get- Oh, whereas if your post is approved, you go, oh my God, I made it to the wall.

It's obviously good quality. Content that we think everyone would enjoy, rather than people going, hey guys, can you vote for me? And this, whatever the competition is, or hey, there's a give a little page for my cousin's neighbor's nephew. I wish there was a setting where you had one strike and you're out, if you post like a shit thing

or like something that's a little bit boring. No, not annual, you're banned for a month. Month, yeah. And then if you post another shit thing, you get banned for two months, then four, then eight, it doubles. I'm just looking at this now, like looking at the quality. There's one good one recently, Jordan Kelkin,

who posted saying, remember's one good one recently, Jordan Kalkan, who posted saying, remember this from TVNZ, and it's a screenshot of him watching Let's Get Invented with Clinton Randall. That's a good one. And people going, I don't remember. See that chick, the girl, she might have been like 12, 13, who's in the photo with me. I even remember what her invention was.

What was it? Hers was the rat bike. And so, it was a bike that had a giant ferris wheel attached to the side of it and it had rats that would run on wheels And as they were running it would like turn this ferris wheel and then the ferris wheel would turn the bike Let me guess, she's not a millionaire now. Let me guess. No, I don't think she needed a patent for that idea Although if you do want to create an animal powered Ferris wheel bike, you would probably have some sort of

cease and desist letter from her lawyers. You've had your teeth done, eh? Nah, haven't you? I might have said them widened or maybe they just, maybe in the photo they boost up the saturation. Your teeth look better now than they did. They look a bit more crooked there. Have you like, invisible one?

One of my, one of my tooth, one of my teeth? Yeah, one of my tooth. Yeah, one of my teeth. My tooth sat back a little further than the others, so it would cast a little bit of a shadow, so I got fake tooth built on the front of it. So it looks like it's now standing in line with the others. Okay, standing in line, standing to attention.

Yeah, Melissa comments on there going, I swear every girl at school must've had a crush on him at some point all right my first memory of a love letter was an intermediate and I got a letter saying hey do you like us and it had Renee with a box and Sarah with a box and it was like please it was like a survey I like choose which one you like more. And it said tick the box right with which one you like and so I liked Renee So I ticked Renee. Yeah, and then it looks sad because I didn't tick Sarah's box. That is sad. So I ticked Sarah's box was Amy's. Oh, he's forgetting the boxes. He's had so much box that he's forgotten

Oh, he's forgetting the boxes. He's had so much box that he's forgotten which ones and the names. Now the problem is I've ticked now Renee and Amy's box, right? You said Sarah before? Yeah. Yeah, I think they were twins Amy and Sarah. Right. I'm surprised you didn't tick their boxes. Sorry, this was an intermediate. So now I just look like some like man whore who wants both girls and can't make up his mind. So then I ticked Renee's box two more times. But now I just look thirsty AF for Renee because I had three ticks in her box, one tick in Amy's box. And then I was like, I can't send this shit back.

So then I twinked it, because back then we still use twink. And then you could tell I'd twinked it, which made it look like I'd changed. And then I just went back to just ticking Renee's box and not Amy's. But it looked like I'd thought Amy was hot. Then I changed my mind and twinked her tick. I think I'd binned the note afterwards

and rewrote my own note. It was a nightmare. It was my first experience with like girls and letting them know I like them and I balls it up terribly. Did anybody take your box out of interest? I ended up, I ended up ticking the box of my form two, so what would that be, year eight, like intermediate teacher's daughter. Yeah. So I missed Nailon, her name was, and then I started dating teachers daughter. Yeah, so I'm miss nail on her name was and then I started dating her daughter Right, so I was teachers pet that yeah until me and Abby broke up, right? Yeah, and then you went with Jamie and you smashed her box

Not as often as it like Big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big,. The accents and just the dirty talk from there. Filthy, filthy stuff. Filthy, filthy, filthy. Anyway. Please. Oh well, you never know because she always does it behind the scenes. Yep.

It's a shame really. It is. Anyway. Well, she did actually send me, I think, yeah, her and her, this is, yeah, actually this was off, she sent it in our group chat, I think it was funny. She was doing a home video. She was filming a home video with her and her husband Guy. It's a shit.

Oh, man. Clint. She's gonna kill me for that, eh? Yep. Oh, I'm off to Japan tomorrow. It's a video. That's audio of her giving birth, Clint. Yeah, well I'm going to Japan tomorrow so I'll be off for two weeks and she's on mat leave so she won't be able to for another three or four months so hopefully she's forgotten

I did that by the time she comes back. See you guys. See you, bye. Rova. Music. Radio. Podcasts.