The Edge Breakfast - ONLY FANS Dan did a limbo pee

Episode Date: February 24, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. This is Clint, Meg and Dan's OnlyFans podcast. A place where nothing is off the table and these three show who they really are. Not recommended for kids. Let's hope there's not too much of this. Come lover. Come lover me. Clint. Me. You've been warned. Oh, there's a pro on there!

No, I'm just joking. Welcome to the OnlyFans. Guardian. Guardian. Hey, we probably didn joking. Welcome to the OnlyFans. Guardian. Guardian. Hey, we probably didn't have something to do today, didn't we? Yeah, we got a few things actually that are kind of like backing up. We didn't get a chance to really chat about the people that we met in Crush Church either,

who no doubt were very annoyed that there wasn't a Friday OnlyFans podcast, so we'd have tuned in on Monday. We didn't make reference to all the really cool people that we met, the people that brought gifts even, which was super thoughtful for some of the people that came to the broadcast. Why don't I do a little shout-out to the people, and then we're going to start bringing back the dedications. So this is the first one we're bringing back the dedications.

I'd like to shout-out to Bridget Kibby. Oh, yeah. Bridget, really nice to meet Bridget. Lisa Marie Hammond, she was there. She was great. She was wearing a fedora hat. Yep. She was lovely.

She went and had the wavy hair. Wavy with a fedora. Megan. Yeah, she was really pretty. I loved her. Megan Ann. Was it Megan Ann? Yeah, Megan.

She, on the second day, was wearing bright pink and bright pink lipstick on. Yeah, she was lovely. Ben Cahey. He's obviously... Oh, Ben. He's got my t-shirt, guys. He's got my t-shirt now. Ethan came to the Quiz Night and then saw us again at the festival.

And Ollie came to the Quiz Night too. Ollie Chick, he was there as well. In fact, there was so many we met. We can't name all of them because we'd be here all day. But thank you so much to everybody that came down and met us. Yeah, when we met people in Christchurch and then they came up and said, oh, and I listened to The Only Fans, that's when I was like, oh, you're a real OG.

Like, you proper froth the show. And it's funny because they were like, I feel like, oh, you're a real OG. Like, you proper frothed the show. And it's funny because they were like, I feel like I know everything about you guys and you don't know me and it's this weird thing. And you realise, yeah, they were like, I even know that Dan stuck his dick in a vacuum cleaner once. Oh, right. Well, I've done other stuff.

And they brought up all the things that Dan has done, stuck it in a vacuum cleaner. What else has he done? Like, oh, somebody said he'd go, you know, when he got gentle warts on his penis. I got AG1 wart. Anyway. And did you miss the story?

Actually, OnlyFans listeners, you normally get the stories that On Air don't. But the On Air listeners got a story today that, if I didn't bring it to the podcast right now, you wouldn't have got. When we were talking about how people can go toilet in bed because they think, yeah, they wet in bed because they think they're on the toilet. And I was like, I wonder if anyone's ever pooped the bed thinking they're going, you know. And Meg has.

She's done it a couple of times. No, but I knew what I was doing. Yeah, if you've got gastro, that's different to having a dream that you're taking a dump and then you take a dump. And Dan goes, I almost pissed the bed once, but I woke up almost just in time to stop it. Yeah, I did.

I woke up just recently, actually, sadly. But he found wheeze in his belly button. Yeah, there was wheeze in my belly button. But luckily, I got out of bed sort of in a limbo position, like with my back sort of, and I sort of limboed to the toilet and sort of poured it out. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-da-da-da. Yeah. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-da-da-da.

I took a breath and said, what are you doing? Da-da-da-da-da-da. Sorry, I have to limbo to the toilet because I've got urine in my belly button. Sleep well. This podcast is going out to Rhys Goff. Dingo pistol on his dick. And got in in his belly button. Anyway, leave the parodies to me, Clinty. Rhys Goff, this is dedicated to you, my friend. He was the one that talked about,

we were talking about why there's no white dog poo anymore. And he came through with some very interesting figures. Surely it's the diet that we feed dogs now. He was the one, he sort of mentioned on the podcast fam, he was like, wow, I have just thought about that now as well. He was saying every so often you hear someone make an observation that has never crossed your mind until you hear it. And, Dan, you are so right. Haven't seen white dog poo in years.

But you said he had a good observation. What was that? And then under that, a whole load of people had good observations. And one of them was the reasoning is because there's less bones in dog food. So we're feeding less dogs. Smile for a second. Smile. Just smile for a second.

What a great observation that they had that I already told you about last week. But I wonder whether you saw that fact. No, it's obvious that if they're shitting out food that they've eaten that their body can't use as energy and it's not doing that anymore, it's because they're eating different food that's causing it to be different. Yeah, and then Alicia Jennings, she's taken a photo just the other day of some white dog poo saying you can still find it.

I think you can. I'm with them. Is it an old photo or is someone feeding their farm dog still like Tux, like biscuits? Do they do? I mean, actually, no, I take that back like Tux biscuits dog? Do they do? I mean actually no I take that back because Tux might do incredible dog food I don't know but I just remember those Tux Wonder Dogs and they always have those triangle biscuits and I always knew that they always gave them to farm dogs when

I'd go up to the farm and hang out with my auntie and uncles. Anyway Rhys Goff this is going out to you my friend thanks very much for taking part in the Edge podcast fam. Mick had something to share but we can't for the life of us remember what it was. And we were like, oh, talk about that on the podcast before we even left for Christchurch. Really? Yeah.

And we were like, oh, save it, save it. You're going to do it on here. Meg's just drawn a photo of me. Oh, Dan, Jesus. Yeah. You look like, oh. That's better than the photo you drew of me. I drew of you, sorry

In a police sketch, would I think that's Dan? Actually in a line-up, I'd probably go If it were in a line-up, face Clint right now If there was a wanted poster, I'd be like I don't know who that is, even though I know Dan But if he was in a line-up I'd be like, yeah, that's fucking Dan I think you've given me too much here

It's too much Okay, Meg, let's work out what this was. Okay, you were talking about something, and it was a bit embarrassing, and we were like, oh, my God, no, no, no, save it, save it. A bit embarrassing. We need more time to talk about it than a 6 a.m., so let's save it for the podcast. Oh, yes, it was the Facebook groups that I'm a part of.

There we go. Yes. Got it. Because you are a member of many Facebook groups. That's right. God, I did forget we were going to do that. Right, let's go into my. Meg's joined a new one recently. No. We, God, I did forget we were going to do that Right, let's go into my Meg's joined a new one recently

We're like, why the fuck would you need to be on that? I've been in this one for a long time What was the one you remember of we talked about a while ago? It was like the veggie appreciation club or something It was fucking Gherkins or something Gherkins, that's right Boiled eggs or something Scotch egg

Can I answer? The official pickled egg appreciation to society. Pickled egg? The official pickled egg appreciation to society. Of course Meg is a member of the pickled egg appreciation society. Just rest apiece. Simon Golder put up his second time doing a tandoori mix, and there's a photo of it.

Yuck. It doesn't look good. It's still in the jars. It's not a great photo. Also, it doesn't look like he's cleaned his camera. Here's what I want to know, Meg. Did you, like, search out this page, or was it a suggestion? They find me, Dan. So it was a suggestion, and you're like,

oh, that's interesting. I'd like to be here. Pickled onion is appreciation. I do appreciate a good pickled onion, a pickled egg. And you know, when you join these clubs, a lot of the time there's questions and the admins let you in. What were the questions? Was it like, when was the last time

you pickled an egg? I was like, how do you do your eggs? Right. And I said poached. And then I think it said, do you like pickling? I said, yeah.

Oh, if I'd said, the question was, how do you like your eggs? And they'd said poached, I wouldn't let them in. I'd go, hold on. You should pickle to another. You need to go to

the Poached Eggs Appreciation Society. This is the pickled eggs. Is there a poached, I wouldn't let them in. I'd go, hold on. This shit pickled or nothing. You need to go to the poached eggs appreciation society. This is the pickled eggs. Is there a poached egg appreciation page? There will be, Clint. Oh, fuck, of course there is. Can't be. Of course there is.

Yeah. No, I'll start one. I think your page is getting spammed with shit. I don't know. It's my favourite. No, there's no poached egg. So you're saying that there's a pickled egg but not a poached egg appreciation. Yeah, let me just go into groups and make sure. These are all... Oh, yeah, there are, poached egg. So you're saying that there's a pickled egg, but not a poached egg appreciation?

Yeah, let me just go into groups and make sure. Oh, yeah, there are, but there's small ones that are like six members. I like being a part of the big ones. There's an egg coddlers. Wait, how many people are in the pickled egg appreciation page? 143,000. Oh, bullshit. Fuck off.

That's got to be bots. It's not bots. I don't even think a bot could find the Pickled Egg Appreciation Society, Clint. That is something new. That's an acquired taste. And what is it? Just people putting their recipes up and stuff. Yeah.

Here we go. This one person did, hi, I'm new to the group. I recently joined because I like a pickled egg. Well, that makes sense. And then somebody else said, I'm new to this group. I recently joined because I like pickled eggs and would like to know how to make them I made some good ones and some not so good ones

and then other people are doing their recipes there's another photo of a recipe aardvark eggs beetroot pickled eggs sweet and hot pickled eggs, all these recipes imagine how chill your life must be where you're like what else could I do today I could find out if there's a

pickled egg appreciation page on Facebook that I could find out if there's a pickled egg appreciation page on Facebook that I could join and then chat to people in. What we're going to do is we're each going to hand our phone to each other

one round. You're going to open, before you open it up, go to your Facebook groups and we're going to go one for one for each group. Why do we need to give

our phone to each other? Because I think it's funnier if we're reading each other's ones. So I've just opened up my groups. I'll hand to Meg, Meg you hand to Clint.

Okay. And Clint you hand to Clint. Okay. And Clint, you hand to me. Clint. Hey, will you play the game? Do it properly. Yeah, I've just got to work out how to do it. Yeah, go to groups there. Okay.

Hand it to me. Okay. Okay. Okay, I'll start. So I'm reading Clint's. Here we go. Okay, I'll begin. Oh, no, you're saying Clint.

Where are her notes? No don't you dare Okay Dan go Okay First one Sub footy boys Okay next one This is Dan's

The classic comedians Oh god Loser The sleep store VIP community Okay Licence to love That's from Clint's one I don't know what that is Licence to love Dan's from Clint's one I don't know what that is

Licence to Love Dan Aviation Aotearoa Fucking loose That's just for playing moves Fuck this sucks Meg Meg View from your window

The original group Someone must have made Like a second page Of the view from your window The fact that there's someone That's like I want that Shit what's the view From your window I imagine people just post Views from their window I'm just counting there's someone that's like, I want that. Shit, what's the view from your window?

I imagine people just post views from their window. I'm just counting down from the list. Dan, what's your next one? Random acts of kindness. Tackler, that's cute. Dan,

New Zealand military aircraft spotting. Fucking hell. You're so lame. Those are the ones I love the most. Who's lamer? That one or Meg's

painting rocks? And that isn't saying that painting is cool. They paint literal rocks. Yeah, not like rocks like it kicks ass, like painting stones. This won't be a surprise that Clint's a member of this one. Social influences of New Zealand. Oh, yeah, Clint. Dan's also a part of Rate My Cat.

Yeah, that's a good page, actually. You can rate a cat on there. Coming up, he got a five out of ten, which pissed me off. Meg, obviously, trying to be inspired. Barley with kids. Oh, yes, but I don't plan to go to Barley, but they've got some great stories on that page. This is such a Clint one as well.

Property investments. This is Dan veggie pod owners Fuck bro you're not getting rich doing that Fuck off Duh Duh Kath and Kim Appreciation Society That's my favourite page

That's my favourite page to Kath and Kim Appreciation Society Okay now hand all the phones to me Why? Because I'm going to do a guessing game As to whose is whose Oh but you've seen them all now No I haven't read through them I was just reading all the phones to me Why? Because I'm going to do a guessing game As to whose is whose Oh, but you've seen them all now No, I haven't read through them I was just reading from the top to bottom

So you can kind of randomly just carry Megan, who's a member of this group? Yeah, and then say one Okay So we can play Yeah, that would be The wedding buy, sell, swap and exchange Megan Really? I don't know wedding buy, sell, swap and exchange.

Megan. Really? I don't know if I did buy and swap and sell. I didn't sell anything for my wedding. I'm going to say Dan. That is correct. Ding, ding, ding. Well done.

Oh, saving money. Cool. Okay. Who is a member of the Mount Albert Baggies 2025? Baggies? That's my team name. Oh, okay. Correct. I call it the Baggies.

Okay. Who's a member of the Lost and Found Pets West Auckland? Oh, Dan and me, probably. Yes, correct. We're both members. Why can't you? Who's a member of the AUT Graduates? That's Clint, right?

Be me. That is correct. Wow, you guys are good. Okay, and finally, who is a member of... Cum Lover. Cum Lover. Clint. Me.

I don't even know what that is. I'm just going to go into it. Cum Lover. I thought it was a gag. I don't want to be in this video. It's only got 33 members. Oh, dudes. Someone sign me up to this.

Come over. What's the latest post? Hi girls. Ad me. From Aprop Matal. Imagine being asked to accept a friend request from a dude Who's part of cum lovers society No wonder you didn't find that many dates

13 years ago I joined that Dan's a gold member He's a lifetime member You might have started the page I didn't, I'm not an admin Cum lover You're not beating that. Fucking hell.

You've got to be careful that doesn't get made into a video. Because these cameras are always rolling, even with the podcast, so you could end up being like, what is the Facebook group page Dan's been a member of for the last 13 years? Anyway, oh, that's the game. Okay. Fine, back, please. Unless you've got nudes.

I think we've got our nudes. Hey, give it back, give it back, give it back, give it back. Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, that's the game. Okay. Fine, back, please. Unless you've got nudes. I think we've got our nudes. Hey, give it back, give it back, give it back, give it back. Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. I can't run, I can't run. Daniel, please, please. Meg gave me her phone to wander around Rainbow's End with so I could film some social for our Edge Breakfast page because we took some listeners, you know, the Irish listeners

you may have heard on a previous podcast, Liam and Emma and their two boys Teddy and Pata and we took them to Rainbow's End by the way if you go on the weekend Saturday and or Sunday it's 99 bucks, they do a grab a mate deal so it's 99 bucks for both of you

to go. My mum is so keen to go with my daughter Daisy. Yeah and so we took them to Rainbow's End and Meg let me use her phone to go film some mum is so keen to go with my daughter Daisy. Yeah and so we took them to Rainbow's Inn and Meg let me use her phone to go film some stuff for our Edge Breakfast social and I was just wandering around the park waiting for the claw machine to start swinging around so I could have it in the background

and one of the rides was going. Meg let me have her phone wandering around just on my own for probably like 15 minutes. And you didn't look? Nah. She trusted me so I repaid the favour and the trust. Yeah.

Honestly, I've got so many photos you'd be hard done by finding one these days because I haven't taken one in a wee while, obviously. Because I don't know if my husband's into pregnant nudes.

I don't know. Oh yeah, recently. He probably would be. He's like a nudes a nude. So there you go. Everything un-beauty related. Who's in that page? Me. Me, recently. He probably would be. He's like a nerd's a nerd. So there you go. Everything un-beauty related. Who's in that page? Me.

Me, actually. Oh, really? Yeah, it's about what's on the inside a lot of the time, guys. Yeah. You've always said that, though, Clint. Yeah. Yeah. Just go on all the photos you've liked on Instagram.

Not one of them is pretty. Is this a photo of me and your cousin? Yes, it is. Oh, why have you got that? Yeah, that's my cousin, Nick. Lovely man. He's the one that works with? Yeah, that's my cousin, Nick. Lovely man. He's the one that works with old people. He's the one that works here.

You two look exactly the same. Do we? Clint, would you guess that that's Dan's cousin? No. Really? I would with the eyebrows. He looks like a slightly larger guy than the dude on Love is Blind who sucks. Does Nick listen?

I don't know if Nick listens, but he'll be stoked to hear that, that he's a slightly larger dude. Well, in that photo. The guy on Love is Blind is quite short, and it was so funny. The chick, when she was like, oh, first thing she noticed, she was like, we're like the same height. Fucking hell. And it was like, she is not stoked about that.

She's just like, Meg and I always say, if you give someone a present, it sucks, they'll just say what it is. So she's just stating facts because she doesn't know what to say about his height. So she just said what was true. We're the same height. But she obviously wasn't stoked about it. Yeah. Oh, this is me and Dan were really drunk in a taxi together.

Jesus Christ. Wow, look at how wide your mouth is. No, that's a filter. That's a filter. Oh, thank God. I was like, fuck me. What is happening? You were missing missing.

That's not a filter on Dan, though. No, that's just my face. Anyway. Yeah. Oh, well. This has been a podcast, hasn't it? Yeah. I mean, I think it counts.

Have you left cum lovers? Yes, I have. Did you? Oh, no, I'm still a member. Still a member. Hey, don't let us. I think admins can leave. Yeah, yeah.

You have to close the whole page down. And then think about the other 32 people that might still have cum. Where do they go? Where do they go? Where do they go? I don't imagine there's another page they can join. Where do they find their people? See you guys. Catch you next time.