The Edge Breakfast - ONLY FANS Listen To This One First

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Welcome to the podcast that should have been cancelled before it even started. This is Clint Beggin Dan's OnlyFans. Podcasts, that is. Hey everyone, welcome along to the OnlyFans podcast. Good to see you. Good to see your lovely faces. Now, we have three avid podcast listeners sitting on hold at the moment. Shall we bring them on?

Because they are the jury of three. We were going to go five, but these were the three that were available who are going to listen to the only other podcast that we have deleted and decided wasn't good enough to upload. They're going to listen and see whether that was the right call or if they disagree and think that it should go up.

And so they need to come up like a jury, I guess, Meg, with a majority vote. So if two of them vote yes. I think that's enough. Normally a And so they need to come up like a jury, I guess, Meg, with a majority vote. So if two of them vote yes. I think that's enough. Normally a jury, you need a unanimous vote. Otherwise it's a hung jury and you've got to go again. Yeah. So let's bring them on now and let them know that they,

while we're recording this podcast, are going to go listen to the deleted OnlyFans from a couple of days ago. Hi, Chantel. Hi, Hayden. And then also I have to put one of you on hold and then bring you and Kim. You are the three. Hi.

There they are. Morning. Okay. So I guess we need to test them a little bit before we push on about how they're going to be impartial, right? Because we don't want them to just be like, they just want everybody to hear the podcast. We need full honesty from you guys.

Full honesty. We can do that. Okay. All right, Chantal, are you sure you don't drink the Kool-Aid too much and you think anything we say and do is funny? Please tell me one thing you think we do is shit. Mispronounce words. Mispronounce.

Okay, that's directed to me. Thank you for that, Chantal. That's a good one. Got to answer as well, Chantal. Little mean. Okay, that's directed to me. Thank you for that, Chantel. That's a good one. Good answer as well, Chantel. Little mean. I'm going to go to Hayden now. Hayden, what do you think we do with shit? Oh, you're back to me.

Oh, you're all there. You're all there. You're on a conference. Can you hear me? Yeah, we've got you, Hayden. What's the worst part of the show? What's the worst thing we've done? You've done.

Not just me. Not just me, Hayden. Megan did ask the question. What's the worst thing we have done, in your opinion, that you're like, oh, that wasn't the best stuff? Oh, where to begin? Oh, see, that's good. No, good answer.

Because it means that he's, you know that he's heard some real crap stuff. Good, okay. Alright, and what about you, Kim? Anything that stands out that you're like, I really didn't like that, I think it was lame that you did it. You guys are better than that. Oh, yeah, I was just trying to think when you were asking the other guy. There's a few

things, but nothing stands out. But there have been moments that you're like, this is crap. You could have done this. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, okay. Oh, yeah nothing stands out. But there have been moments that you're like, this is crap. You could have done this. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, okay. Oh, yeah. Not many. No, no, but there's been times. Okay, that's all we need to know. And I think the filter you need to put it through is, will the majority,

the masses of people listening to this podcast, the thousands of people that always listen, will the majority of them go, this is entertaining listening? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Good. All right, because we think we got a little bit too carried away, a little bit too silly, and it got a little bit too rude,

which is saying something, because some of the stories Dan shared on this podcast, Jesus. And that's you. So we're going to carry on with this podcast. Yeah. Thank you. Every time you say we're not listening, we are.

Okay. Yeah, but that makes me worry that you're a super fan that has pushed through anything. Okay, so we're going to record today's podcast, which in the future you can go back and listen to. But whilst we're recording that, you three are going to listen to the deleted OnlyFans. It's almost 14 minutes long.

And then we'll get you on at the end of this podcast for your final decision saying, no, delete it, or yes, upload it. Okay. Yep. Okay. Good luck to you. All right, putting you all back on hold there. Off they go.

So they're done. I can hang up on them now, can't I? You can indeed. Do you reckon? Yep. Okay, I'm hanging up on them now. So they're all going to go listen. Brilliant stuff.

Good luck to them. Okay. In the meantime. In the meantime, I saw something online that somebody has said, a psychologist has said, you become the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. She said it's a powerful way to really see it. You draw a tree with five branches and write down the names of the five people who you spend the most amount of time with. And you have to describe each of them with five words

and those 25 words of the people, so five from each person, is you. Wow. So, I mean, clearly we would be in each other's tree. Yes, we would. Three of us would be in each other's tree. And then you have your partner and then whoever else. What about your kids? Do they count?

Yeah, they would count. It's just some of the people that you hang out with. I'd say your kids would count more than Meg and I's Clint only because they're a bit older and they've got more of the, they've become more about themselves than, like I'd say George is probably still a mimic of Hannah and myself, right? And I suppose having like adult conversations and

conversing with them is probably. Yeah. So if we go, let's go Clint's. Let's do Clint's tree. I've got Clint's five. So you've got Meg, Dan, Jamie, your wife. His tree's got a big trunk, Meg. Why did you do his trunk so big? Ty and Cam.

And now you have to describe each of those people in five words, and then I'll have my description of you, of what you are putting out to the world, according to this person. All right, so Ty? Oh, I'm going to do it right now. I don't really know. This is on the spot.

You don't know five words? Five words is a hard thing to do. Well, just to describe them in Thai, I feel like my brain would write 15, and then I'd work out which five they're predominantly, and then I'd delete 10. Maybe we should do it with Dan. Okay. No, I'll do it quickly. Okay, so Dan, the five people for you are Meg, Clint, Hannah, your wife.

And then who are the other two people you hang out with? Your mum? It'd probably be my mum. Genuinely, probably. I probably would be my mum. Yeah, Julie and one more person. That's actually nice. Does it have to be a person?

It could be a cat. No, it has to be one more person that you hang out with the most. And Producer Carl's going to make your top five? Yeah, I think it's going to be Producer Carl. It's going to be a cat. No, it has to be one more person that you hang them well with the most. And Producer Carl's going to make your top five? Yeah, I think it's going to be Producer Carl. Oh, fuck me. Yeah, it is. It's all my workmates, my wife and my mum. Yep.

Fuck. Okay, here we go. And you wanted your cat. Okay, five words about Hannah. Your wife. Hannah. Compass. Compass.

Morals. Morals. Loving. I think you went with moral compass and used it for two. Is it right? It's locked in now. It is locked in, unfortunately. Oh, bugger. That's her number one thing. Good table cards. Sheals. Loving. I think you went with moral compass and used it for two. Is that right? It's locked in now. It is locked in, unfortunately. Oh, bugger.

That's her number one thing. Table cards. She's great with directions. Okay. Morals. Because she's not. Loving. Loving.

Supportive. She's very fair. She's also very supportive. Supportive. And she is fair. Yeah. What's the word? It's like she's got, yeah, well, I guess that's the morals.

Yeah, I'd take that under morals. And I'm also going to go patient. Here we go. I think Hannah, very patient because she lives with me. We don't need to repeat them. We'll come back to them at the end. You didn't want to use cheap. I don't think she's cheap.

She's frugal. Yeah, she's frugal. Sorry, it doesn't make the list. She's a great saver. Clint. Okay, I'm writing down. Tanned. No, you can't.

It's a personality trait. Do we say arrogant or vain? No, let me do the things Arrogant Yeah Vain Yeah, see, the two I just said Talented

Talented Yep That's where the arrogance comes from Unless you can back it up I'd say driven about Clint He is very, very driven And one more. Good or bad? Supportive.

Good. I gave three pros and two cons. Clint's very supportive. He's one of those people that he'll back you up. You don't think relentless would have been one of them? They can be used in a positive or negative way depending on what comes after it. Alright, well we've locked those

in. Meg. Funny. Funny. Yeah. Don't say funny looking, just funny. No, funny. No, it's not about looks.

No, it's not. Funny. I would go... Funny. Yeah. Oh, struggling for a second one. I'm trying to say what's heart of gold

but in one word. Caring. Empathetic. Empathetic. Pathetic. Yes, that's a good one. No, no. What did you say? Empathetic. Oh, empathetic. So you've said funny, caring, Empathetic. Empathetic. Pathetic, yes, that's a good one. No, no. What did you say?

Empathetic. Oh, empathetic. So you've said funny, caring, empathetic. Two more. Okay. Warm. Warm. Very warm.

And I would say your final thing. That's a shit adjective. No, it's not. I think it describes her whole personality. And I'm going to say, have I said loving? Yeah. Oh, no, you haven't said loving. Yeah, I think you're a loving person. Here we go. We've moved on to Julie, I said loving? Oh, no, you haven't said loving. Yeah, I think you were loving.

Here we go. We've moved on to Julie, your mum. Oh my goodness me. Ooh, let me think. Powerful. Powerful. She's listening right now. Don't you strong? I feel like you're wasting a word. Powerful is strong. He's already done it, Clint. Sorry, they're table carded. Powerful and strong.

Cuddly. Cuddly. My mum's cuddly. Two more for your mum. Powerful and strong. Cuddly. Cuddly. My mum's cuddly. Two more for your mum. Gorgeous. Yep. Oh, that's it. Oh, it wasn't about looks for Meg, but it is for your mum. Interesting. No, it's all right.

Interesting. Gorgeous can be like a personality thing. Last one for your mum. And I would say... Hot. Oh, okay. That's a strange thing to say about your mum, Dan. Supportive.

Supportive. Another supportive. Yeah, she is. She's very, very supportive. Last one, producer Carl. The fifth most... Yeah.... most sister that you hang out with. I think he is, what's this, like a dog with a bone. Dog, like, relentless.

Relentless. Oh, okay, thank you. Passionate. Passionate. Always passionate. One of the most passionate people I know, Carl. He's so passionate. Thank you, Dan.

Determined. But that's, nah, determined's different. To relentless? Yeah, I would say... Sounds annoying. Talented? Have I said talented? No, you haven't yet.

Talented. Two more. This surprised me about Carl, and I didn't really know this until I worked with him closely. Loving. I think Carl's quite a lover. He puts on quite a funny and laughable, hard shell. But I think when you dig deep, Carl's a very loving one.

He's like a forever share. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he is. One more. Smart? No. Don't offer words because you're going to do him dirty. I think he's funny. Okay, funny.

Funny. Oh, thanks. Thanks, Dan. I needed that today today It's really nice Appreciate it So this is the description Of Dan Webby According to the psychologist

This is how the world Sees you Dan Webby Funny Compass Funny compass Funny compass Arrogant Loving

Funny Again Double funny Empathetic Talented Vain Caring Warm Driven Passionate Relentless Strong Supportive Compass, arrogant, loving, funny, again, double funny, empathetic, talented, vain, caring, warm, driven, passionate, relentless, strong, supportive, patient, loving again, supportive, gorgeous, cuddly, driven, supportive man. Shame. So the shit you said about me came back on you.

Yeah, yeah. Can I delete some of Clint's stuff? No. Oh, I'm back on it. They should have got him to do that without knowing that it's the words about him I would disagree in the sense that I feel you don't

absorb all of the traits, I think like maybe there are common themes that are there Meg, like you know there are some friends that I have that have incredible traits and there are some things that aren't that great about them, but you're still their friend despite their indifferences because nobody's perfect

what I'd say to you, Clint, is you have to sit with those 25 words because they reflect you and even though it makes you uncomfortable and it's confronting, self-awareness comes before growth. But I would also say that here's what I'd argue. Unagi, Clint.

Because I said talent. I think for all three of you, I said you're all talented. Which means you must think you are. But no. You become talented by being around us. Yes, indeed. No, but I would say that Clint, and especially Carl and Clint, I said you're all talented. Which means you must think you are. But no. You become talented by being around us. No, but I would say that Clint, and especially Carl and Clint, I'd say, because they have quite specialised jobs

that they're talented at, okay? I'm not talented at the things they do. But remember, you're not becoming these things. You will be picking out. It's like when you pick up on words when you like someone. It's more a reflection of how people see you. Because you hang out with talented people, people will see you as talented.

Right. It's a reflection. I people see you. Because you hang out with talented people, people will see you as talented. Right. That is the reflection. I see. That makes sense. The parts of you will become who you hang around. But they're saying these are the people that are, from the outsider and the five people are reflecting what you are seen as.

So Dan's face being on the back of a bus with you and me makes him look good. He's so talented. Yeah, indeed. I see what the study's saying now. It's weird because Hannah said that she saw us on the side of a bus the other day and my face is in the doors. So when the doors open, the bus opens.

Your mouth opens. It's just my face disappears. It's just you two. We were like, hey, where are we going on the bus? They're like, there's Clevegan in it. He's got no head. That would be a brilliant marketing campaign if when the doors opened

the image changed and they'd done it specifically so that Naughty, yeah. Yeah, a little bit naughty and it like, yeah, created a different image. It's a clever thing to do, eh?

But a fun little game you can play at home, in fact, could be even more fun if I thought about it a bit more, if you don't tell them at the start that

these words reflect them. Yes. So they're even more honest because I thought about it a bit more if you don't tell them at the start that these words reflect them so they're even more honest because Dan knew it was reflecting him so he did a lot of nice ones. But if he just got said Genuinely, I wasn't thinking about that

to be fair and I probably should have done some bad ones. You should write some bad ones, right? But I was only trying to be nice. Like I would have said some bad stuff with that.

You guys. Everybody's got bad traits. What bad stuff would you have said about me? Well, no need to now. Well, I mean, you Like I would have said some bad stuff about you guys. Everybody's got bad traits. What bad stuff would you have said about me? I don't need to now. Well, I mean, you said you would have. It would be interesting to know what they were. Just personality ones or can I do physical? You can do both.

But mostly personality. It's easier that way. Okay. Maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you shouldn't. Okay. Lynn's got a biggish nose. Oh, fuck off.

You've never said anything about my nose, you cunts, until we ended up getting that guy on thelooksman.ig and he said that my nose was slightly too large for my face. You just can't see it because you have baggy eyelids. Yeah, he also said he's got baggy eyelids. Distorts. I think he said something about how a great ratio between... I mean, you can't talk with your improportionate face.

Oh, yeah, that's right. No, it was disproportionate. I'm fucking Picasso walking around. No, her face thirds weren't ideal. Hold on, Picasso... Picasso would have loved me. Picasso wasn't the one with... He drew a picture of a disproportionate face. I don ideal. Hold on, Picasso. Picasso would have loved me. Picasso wasn't the one. He drew a picture of a disproportionate face.

I don't think he looked like that. No, but he would have loved me. He would have gone, he'd be like, God, what a muse. Yeah. God, it looks like that painting is just a self-portrait of her. It was the first photo we were taking, actually, when Picasso did my photo. It wasn't a painting at all.

Just Meg's face. Meg's great-great-grandmother. Okay, I think we'll try and get the team back on the phone and find out what they thought of the deleted podcast that we didn't think would see the light of day, but we will let our jury of three decide whether or not you'll get to listen to it or not. And just a sec, we'll get them on,

and we'll be back in like two seconds. Okay. Okay, we're back. Oh, here we are. And they're all back on. We're in the future. Yeah, we've got. Oh, here we are. And they're all back on. In the future. Yeah, we've got them all back on. They've listened to the podcast.

The only podcast we've ever decided to redo because of how bad we thought it was. Jury of three, we need two votes for or against to either keep or delete it. So the best of three. Yeah. Who are we going to first? Let's go to Kim first. She's in the top. Kim, yeah, official thoughts.

Maybe you can give us a couple of, yeah, thoughts overall on it and then a yes or no should it be released. Off you go, Kim. Well, I think it's really funny that Clint was really uncomfortable about it but wouldn't play his sex song. I thought that was really funny. Really good. Love the prune comment.

That was priceless. I don't remember that. No, I think definitely, definitely put it out there. Oh, really? Definitely. That's like a short. It's like a Christmas gift. Like a Christmas gift.

The thing is, I don't remember what the prune thing is about. Okay, one point from Kim. A vote for yes. I've written it down. If it's a Christmas gift, this is like a $10 Secret Santa. We're now moving on to Chantal. Yeah, exactly. But you put that in front of someone.

They want it. Okay. Okay, next up is Chantal. Chantal, your thoughts on the Forbidden Nearly Deleted podcast and then whether we should publish it to the public, yes or no? Well, I was actually really disappointed that you guys

even thought that you were going to hold that back from us. She's done the Flim Flam Simon Cowell edition. Wow. Oh yeah, absolutely. Honestly, I nearly died when you were talking about wrinkly fingers. That was fantastic. I don't remember it.

It's like I blocked it out of my head. What were we talking about Wrinkly Fingers and prunes for? Jesus, it's a worry. Oh, Linda was really performing. It was fantastic. Oh, Linda was in it. That's right. Okay, so a vote for publisher.

Absolutely. Okay, so that leaves Hayden Allen. Hayden Allen. Hayden Allen. Incredibly, incredibly honest with us normally. Has been throughout the years. He's our ghostwriter, basically. Any funny joke you hear us say, it's probably Hayden Allen texting us first.

Yep, definitely. And telling us what to say. He's much quicker than we are. You're the reason I have this job, Hayden, because I just read your lines. We just read his texts. Hayden, you listen to the podcast. Your thoughts and your vote, please. Well, I thought the first theme song bit was a bit average. I think Carl really brought it back when he played the chicken dance.

Thanks, mate. And then when Linda came in with the fingering line, that got me good. It explained to the fellas what I was cracking up at. Okay. And when no one's making any sound, I think that's the best bit because everyone's, you know, having a good laugh. So when we're not speaking, that's your favourite part.

Just writing down these notes. This is our first no here, I reckon. Okay, well, we have to get three across the board for us to publish it. Oh, does it have to be unanimous? I thought it was just the majority. I thought it was the best of three. Oh, okay. No, I don't mind that, mate, because I was like, oh, dead rubber.

Don't even need to go to Hayden. But if it has to be unanimous. It's got to be unanimous. Oh, okay. Because that is how a jury actually works. Otherwise, it's a hung jury. Okay. Hayden, yes or no, is the podcast getting published?

I think that can go out. I give it a pass. Oh, God. Good respect of the drum roll, too, by the way, Hayden. Yeah, really good. Yeah, really good. You think it can go out? You could save it for like a time when you just can't be arsed and just throw that out.

Can't be arsed. is that how bad it was? Hayden seems like one of those guys on a murder trial and he's like, mate, I've got plans this weekend, so yeah, if you guys all think guilty, I think guilty. Hayden, just one more question. I mean, it's going out now, so the jury has decided. Is there anything that could put us into jeopardy in terms of like a broadcast standards claim?

Because I honestly haven't gone through and checked that again. I trust you. I trust your judgment. I'm pretty sure't gone through and checked that again. I think. I trust you. I trust your judgement. I'm pretty sure it was me who said you get wrinkly fingers. That's a worry. Nah, I think if you've been listening long enough, you know what you're going to get. Okay. That's what he's trying to say

is it's just as shit as everything else we've done. Right. We're like, it's so shit. And he goes, well, it's similar to what you guys do some of the sort of predictable shit you normally do thank you Hayden

is it a double whammy guys are we going to release both today then or are we going to release the forbidden one tomorrow I guess you kind of you listen to this one

and then you go what's that other podcast down there maybe we could call that one producer Carl listen second exactly okay cool

sweet so it'll be only fans listen to this one first and then the next yeah yeah, the deleted one. Yeah. Thank you for that, Carl. Okay, bloody hell.

Okay, Meg's scratching her ear furiously. That means she's nervous. She might get wrinkly fingers from that. Yeah, keep fingering at that, Milan. Don't leave them in there too long. Have you seen them doing that on social media, on TikTok, if you want to prank your partner, where you get peanut butter on a Q-tip

and then you make it seem like you've just pulled it out of your ear and the partner's like oh disgusting did that come out of your ear because there's heaps of it and then you just slowly

put your tongue on it to go to taste it and you film your partner's reaction oh some of them on the internet are fucking brilliant yeah little fun thing to do with your partner if you want

there you go you do that tonight with Jamie oh no she already did it to me oh bugger yeah her and Cameron and I didn't really react and she goes oh I'm not putting that up online oh bugger yeah her and Cameron and I didn't really

react and she goes oh I'm not putting the album online and I was like what and she goes we didn't really react and I was like yeah

well I love you for all the things that you do babe how sad is that that I thought her eating her airwax off a cotton bud wasn't even that shocking

how dirty is that woman wow from what I've heard don't start we'll have to fucking go and see if this one needs to be published as well yeah Jesus Christ we can't stop heard Don't start We'll have to fucking go and see if this one needs to be published as well Yeah, Jesus Christ

We can't stop No, don't start it again No, come on Clint We need to get another jury Yeah, we'll be running out of jury members We'll be like, you're being summoned for jury duty I was like, no Okay

There we go Alright This is Hayden Allen's favourite bit Yeah, I thought I'd just give him something There we go. Alright. This is Hayden Allen's favourite bit. Yeah, I thought I'd just give him something to enjoy. That's nice, give him an extra. He's like, oh yeah, I like this. Silence. Yeah.

And I might also just send out everyone with my wife's favourite song. Enjoy, guys. Catch you next time. Why'd you play that? Cheats or earwax? Maybe we should delete this one here.