The Edge Breakfast - ONLY FANS no one cares about your toastie

Episode Date: November 9, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. This is the OnlyFans podcast with Clint Meg and Dan. It's not meant to be as explicit as the actual OnlyFans, but most of the time it is. Welcome to The Only Fans, Clint Dan and Ash London. Thank you. You know what I'm obsessed with at the moment all weekend? What's going? Trump having dementia.

I just can't. I'm now getting sent to all the videos. You know, once you watch one and it's just like... He thought it was an IQ test because he was bragging about it. He was telling me about how he passed his own. IQ test. What's the evidence? Give me the evidence. So first of all, I don't know if you saw the video over the weekend of that they were doing like an announcement and Dr. Oz was there and RFK was there and Trump's sitting at his desk.

First of all falling asleep while they're doing the announcement. And then a guy like has what looked like a heart attack or something. I think he fainted. He fainted. And they're all like clambering around him and Trump's just standing there. And this guy that I follow is an expert on dementia. He cares for people with dementia all day. It gets to a stage of dementia. I think there are six stages, but one of the latter stages is when your only awareness is like within like three inches of your face. So like you don't actually know what's going on outside of a very short radius. And Donald Trump is just standing there looking like he isn't even aware of the fact that these people, this whole kerfuffle is happening next to him. His inability to answer a question

or stay on topic. We think that's just Donald Trump, but really they're like, no, that's like a classic symptom of dementia when someone can't follow their own sentences because that's what he does. He starts talking and then he just starts talking about something completely irrelevant. I saw videos of that and photos as well where he's just kind of looking off

and everyone's trying to look after this person who's fainted and he's just like in his own world. He's also got like a lot of the time now one part of his mouth has dropped and people are thinking he's actually had a stroke. I thought the savage part was RFK how he just walked off. And he's like, I was going to get a chair.

Everybody's defending him going, I was going to get a chair. going to get help. He just looked on his face. He's like, oh. Is Dr. Oz a real doctor? He is, but I think he's been like, I don't think he's like practices anymore. He's like a TV doctor, right? And the real funny thing was, you know, I follow

these TV shows and they'll do this monologue at the top and they'll either do a bit of comedy sketch or they'll talk about the president and whatever. And this one guy, he's very, very talented. I follow a lot of his like out and about things when he's interviewing people at Trump rallies and gets them caught up

in this argument. I love it. Yeah, where they can't really explain their own opinions on things. But he goes, they're talking about this new drug that is going to, like, lose a lot of weight for Americans, right? And they, and obviously Dr. Oz doesn't realize

that we all can, well, most of us can do maths. Do basic maths. Because he goes, America is going to lose 135 billion pounds. Like that next July. Yeah, yeah, right? Go that's a lot.

So the host goes, okay, that's what he said. So he works out how many pounds, America's going to lose, divided by the population of America, and on average, every person is going to lose 400 pounds each. It's like 200 kilos. And he goes, whoa, whoa, and before you get all that, like, oh, how's that going to happen? He goes, you might not lose, like, 400 pounds.

You might only lose 200 pounds, because someone else will lose 600 pounds. It's just the average, guys. Wow. He's idiots. It's funny. Eat it all up. So, yeah, like, a lot of, like, experts in the field are saying, if he is this far gone, on with his dementia, which we believe

he is, he could literally die before his term he's over. There's also these things about these like packs that he's got strapped onto his body. Like they're like some sort of, I don't know, they're like defibrillate, like things that are like something to do that you have after you've had a stroke or a heart attack or something.

And the wind hits him and then you see the outline of a big square just like strapped onto his leg. Do you think so? I don't know. I'd love to know that he's got issues. I love that you wanted to say I'd love him to have dementia. Well, you can't say that. But the thing is, well, I don't know.

I think, I think he's probably just as healthy as you and I. No, I honestly believe that he's got big problems. What happens? Then at some point, let's say he's unfit to be. Yeah, J.D. Vance becomes president. Yeah, do they, I guess, collectively or like sit around as a board or whatever and have to go, he's unfit to be the president and then effectively they take it off him? If there was any other president, I would imagine it would already be there at that point,

that I have to because it's gotten to the point now where he... But Biden wasn't necessarily running marathons, was he? Yeah, but he was still like... He was just old, you know? And yes, and in the end, they had to say he's not really up to it. But this is like...

Like, you watch him and you're like, he's not even in the room. He doesn't even know what people are talking about. So I'm now just obsessed with just watching more... Yeah. I mean, I watch it all the time on TikTok and stuff like stuff that's going on in the States with political... And you kind of watch it like a movie, eh?

You watch it going, wow, this is an incredible bit like, it's real life. And it's affecting New Zealand just as much as any other country, you know. So it's scary. It really is scary. But I think it's gotten to the point now where it is really people that otherwise would have been like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll, you know, vote right, vote right. And now going, oh, this has gone too far. And I think it's going to have the opposite effect.

I just hate the thing that's happened. Sorry, Clint just quickly. How now it's, it used to be 10 years ago, you could have a, a political view and no one would sort of batten up. They go, oh, that's your view. But now, if you have a political view, people jump on you and go, you can't think they're, it's like, I hate that that's where the world

is at the moment. You're allowed, your entire, anyone's entitled to have a view. And that's fine. But when it gets hateful and when it gets, you know, you judged badly for having a political view, that's when it scares me. Yeah, I feel like that was, but we're guilty of it. That was my algorithm a while back, actually. How did you change your algorithm? I think I just had to

stop, like when a video came, before I started watching the first 10, 20 seconds, it must know how much of a video you watch. And so I just like flick away, flick away and then I think it's the videos that you give more time to, because then I started giving more time to like finance videos and stuff like that.

Now I feel like I get a lot of that. And the real interesting take, which may help people may not, I always thought you pay your mortgage off as quick as you can, right? Because if you can pay an extra $50 a week over the course of a 30 year term, you might save yourself like four, five, six years, right, on payments.

This person was talking about, and they did all the maths, and I'm sort of following them on this whiteboard being like, okay, let's say you pay off more than your principal and blah, blah, blah. And it was working out how much money you'd save by putting more money on your mortgage each week. But then they talk about, like, what that is as a percentage. And if you took that same amount of money every week over, say, 10, 15 years, and you put it in an investment, like shares or something,

how much money over the same period, like a 15... You can't decide how much money you're going to make off shares. No, you can't, but he was talking about, like, an average of, like, working on a 10% average. You can make a calculated guess. Yeah, it was like, over, if you're looking at stocks over the last, say, 10 years, he was like, okay, so if that's similar to the next 10 years, again, it may not be. And obviously, he's working the mortgage out to be 4% for the whole term. We also have no idea. In 10 years, we could have another huge crash, and interest rates could be 20%.

But it was real interesting, the numbers about instead of, if you've got extra money to pay your mortgage off, you're actually better to take that extra money and go and put it. in an investment and over 15 years it'd be worth so much more and then at 15 years you go and take half of your investment and pay your mortgage off with it and you've still got extra money there and I was like I literally jumped into my banking and changed it all there right there

off an Instagram person fucking I hate these I don't I don't like these people that are on these podcasts and stuff that go you are not doing it properly if you're putting money into investments it's like some people can't even fucking make ends meet and you're patronising me by going

you are never going to make money if you don't put money into investments. Some people can't. If you're living week to, we've spoken about it before. But if you're living week to week, you don't have the luxury to put money in risk. You just don't. And I'm so risk-giver.

I hate that we have money in shares. I hate it. I'm so conservative with that stuff that for me to feel safe, I'd much rather know that my mortgage is going to be paid. I will be able to pay my house off. I may not have a cash win for. one day but I know that like I can sleep well at night knowing we're not going to lose

everything overnight that that scares me and I think that's just how I was raised like with financial instability and like not knowing if we're going to have money or not as a result I'm so conservative and I'm always telling my husband just sell I don't want anything in the share market they'll have a risk from one to seven most of my stuff is like seven or five to seven but I guess that shows like you know you feel safe in the world yeah probably that sounds silly but like if you grow up with like an have stable family home, you've never gone without, you know that if everything goes to shit, even if it isn't conscious, you know, it's the knowledge that you'll never

be out on your ass or you've, you know, you've got enough equity in your home that you can always sell, you know, that's an amazing position to be in. And you know how lucky you are, but yeah, I wish I were had the, not the guts, but I just hate the feeling of, I just don't trust the world, I think that's what it is. Yeah, I think a lot of people think the same, even if they do have money to put in, And they're kind of, they don't have their, A, the no, I think, as well, like, knowledge is power in that sort of industrial area. But also just having the gumpshire to go, I'm just going to put it all in and see how we go. So if Ash's algorithms, Donald Trump and minds, like, how to make more money or make your money work for you, what's yours then?

Cats and shit. People falling over. Oh, yeah, I got a bit of that. I got a bit of that. People are doing dumb shit. You know what's pissing me off at the moment on social media, actually. Everything? All of it?

Well, yeah, but if we go back to political just for a second, National and Labor constantly posting about each other. It's like, stop, like, I, God, it always me. Like, National Party going, Chris Hickens did this today. It's like, no one cares. Focus on what you're doing. They're not in government. People don't want to, okay, what we've learned

of their last couple of elections is it like, people don't want to hear you slagging on the other guy. No, but we're done with that. That's not fixing the issues that are in the country. Old school politics, though, way, back in the day being like, you didn't have to tell everyone how good you were. Just tell everyone how shit they were. But I feel like it's different now.

Like I looked through the, I think it was the National Party one the other day of their, if you go onto their homepage on their thing. And if I count now, one, two, three. Seven of the last ten posts are about Labor. That's pathetic. Just taking jabs. It's interesting, I was watching that. Nobody Wants this, the second season.

with, is it Kristen or Kirsten? Kirsten, Kirsten, Kirsten, Kirsten, yeah. Wait, can I just interrupt you for a second? Yeah. Look at my husband all happy and a young girl bent over on his desk. In any other situation? Oh, no, no, because you've made it sound like, no, she's just leaning over. She's, she's leaning.

And look at him how delighted he is. Yeah, she's just leaning over to talk to him, and she's not been, anyway. Not bent over his desk, like. That's what you made it sound like. Thank you, Daniel. I'm just saving you there. Kristen Bell. Yeah, I was watching that show

And she made a comment Which I was like, it's quite true They were doing something They were talking about how close they were And she's like, well, I think we're like Share your Instagram algorithm close And I was like, that's so funny That if you literally go to your search on your Instagram

And you're prepared to show somebody What Instagram thinks you want to see That's pretty close Mine would be all how to avoid getting Alzheimer's Because the more of the Trump dementia stuff I watch The more experts I get about like how to preserve your brain So I get a lot of that I get a lot of Trump stuff

and they get a lot of like removing things from your scalp like when people have like dry and then like and they zooms in on them getting like things off your head because it's so satisfying looking at mine it genuinely is Cats Formula One Fourskin

I'm getting up like more Trump stuff at the moment as well like American politics Why am I why we always get like more of that shit? Maybe it's because you're friends with Ash and I and that's what we're getting probably eh and they're like Carl will like this

if your friends do because the rest of it is just tits and ass so I must be getting that from Clint's yeah ass ass tetties titties a lot of Sabrina Carpenter

and a lot of Sydney Swatney and I get a lot of people like a lot of guys throwing or kicking things from massive distances into things you know you're just like oh my god

how many days did they spend trying to make that shot that's the other thing I've got traitors Clint if you do honestly you need to watch the traders both of you.

You will fucking love it. It's only eight episodes. I literally need to stop doing. I've just got, anyway. Oh, it's so good. It is one of the best reality TV shows I've ever seen. In fact, it is the best. I'll watch it over Christmas,

even though I know the endings. Alan Carr is a, should be knighted. TV and Z plus? A? TV, uh, no, three now. It's three now. Oh, okay. I don't believe you.

I'm sitting here like I know. I just remember we did a read for it once. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's three now What are you going to get from Uberites? Oh, are we good at getting Uber Eats? Yeah, okay, I keep forgetting. Have we got records after the show? Carlos, have we got any records after this?

No, not today, but tomorrow we will. Maybe we could go down to Queenie's or something. Oh, yeah, could do that, can we? That's been Spino, isn't it? Oh, yeah, there was a bit of a thread that was going around on our Facebook Messenger group. I don't know if you actually got a Monaster Dash in the end. I don't get alerts.

So I just had to check it off my own. Oh, well, you probably should. Oh, I saw it. That was fucking funny. Because it turns out, so, Ash ordered some, like, this beautiful meal, overeats was delicious. Then anyway, when I was leaving, I saw her husband in his lunch, and it was the world's smallest sandwich, but actually it wasn't even a sandwich. Because the bread is very small.

Oh, so it was gloom-free, tiny little bread, and they had some, like, cheese, just one piece of cheese, and he grilled it. And most of the cheese, he grilled too long, all, like, spat out the sides. And then he was just eating that. And I was like, wow, no one to Ash can afford her breeds because you're eating that. And he goes, she what? Fuck you, man. It's payday.

Here we go. And I always bring my food in, don't I? So then we got on the group chat and we were like, oh my God, has anyone else got photos of Ashes lunches from the week that was. And everyone just piling on fake photos of me eating lobster. Yes. And then we got photos of like AB as well, a little sad out in the lunchroom eating his fucking macaroni with cheese.

I'm asleep, so I missed the whole thing. I was sleeping at midday. Yeah. That's so good. Dan's shown me photos of toasted cheese sandwiches on Uber Eats. Just have one. I can't, mate. Why?

Because it's summer. You've got a smoking bod. You can afford to put on a few KGs, you sexy B. Don't think you can say that to the boss's work. No, you can't anytime. But that's, no, that's just going to maintain that. You are genuinely one of the hottest co-hosts I've ever had. One of the or the?

Who's been hotter than me? Oh, now I'm into a bit of a strikers. You see one-of and you've only had three co-hosts. Meg's pretty hot. Okay. So one-of, you've had two co-hosts in your whole life. You're the second honest out of two. Sounds like your last.

Yaz is filled in before and you've... We all know Yaz's hotter than me. No, I'd put you above Yaz. Fuck off. If you say shit like that, I don't believe anything you say ever again. When you're like, man, Yaz isn't hotter than you. Get a to toastie and I'll put you to number one. I don't want one.

I don't want one. No, you get to get toasty for yourself. No, because no, I owe you an Uber-Eats. No, no, no. I just want something healthy. But, you know, there's nothing on Uber-Eats that's healthy. So you just get what you want. I'll walk down to Queenie's. Don't look at him like you hate me.

I'm not. I'm just like, well, I'll look at Uber-Eats as well and decide on something. No, but I want the toasty. Okay, well, you get yourself a to toastie, darling. I'm not going to be standing your way. Yeah, mate. Be your own man. Yeah.

Why are we still recorded? No one is listening. No one is listening to this. We need to edit this all out. You're the one that's fucking bringing over-resorted to the chat and then bring it up, Ashton. He was showing it to me like while you were talking.

Sounds like you. Sorry, guys, I can multitask. I can record a brilliant podcast and think about lunch. Just because you can't click with the itchy legs. Oh, you need a contact chat now, you idiot. Hey, you can edit this yourself, mate. All right, see you guys. Rover, music, radio, podcasts.