The Edge Breakfast - ONLY FANS Sloppy Seconds

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. This is Clint, Meg and Dan's OnlyFans podcast. A place where nothing is off the table and these three show who they really are. Not recommended for kids. You've been warned. Sense of humour. My humour. I've got one, my great sense of humour.

Welcome to the podcast, the OnlyFans everybody. You've just caught Meg in her natural habitat talking about her sense of humour. Big up in herself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh God, yes. Of course. Dedication, Dan, before we move on. Would you like to in herself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, yes. Of course. Dedication, Dan, before we move on. Would you like to do that?

Yeah, we're bringing that back. And I do believe that it is time to dedicate the podcast to Jonathan Wedge. Oh, Jonathan Wedge. We know Jono. Yeah, we met Jono at ElectraCav. And I think he's had a dedication before, maybe. Then why did you say it's about time? Because, you know.

Because Dan just says stuff. Yeah, because you know what? I was padding for time because I didn't have my dedication app open. Jono, we know Jono very well. He got the tattoo to win a trip to Fiji. That's right. He was on The Bachelor. Yeah.

He's a very good man. The New Zealand Bachelor. Also, are you going to ask people to like and subscribe or whatever it is that you do? Yeah, like and subscribe. So you hit the bell icon on Spotify if you're listening on there or any app that you're listening on. You can do it on the Apple Podcast app and it just means that you

automatically get sent them. Sorry, me? No, no. Clint, you're the man. You talk first. Okay, thanks, man. She's such a sweetheart. Diary of a CEOo you may know that podcast it's huge uh one of the biggest podcasts in the world um i've just started listening he does that he asks people to um subscribe and um follow the podcast because he said you you don't realize how um much that helps his podcast get out so i think the algorithm i think we've stolen

that idea he goes the way he says it is really nice as well. He's like, I'll never ask any favour of you ever. And he goes, what I'll do is I'll promise that if you do that, I'll work tirelessly every day to make sure that I make this one of the biggest and most incredible podcasts in the world. You do that for me, and I'll do that for you. It's a bit uncomfortable now of what I was going to say. I should have gone first.

Oh, no way. I was going to say, I should have gone first. Oh, no way. I was going to say, well, after subscribing can you go and donate to my husband's marathon? Oh, no, don't do that because then it's too much. It's too much now. You've just gone and said I'll never ask you anything again. We'll only ask you to do one of those two things. You can either donate money or subscribe to this podcast.

Or do the free thing, subscribing. The link is in my bio. Don't bother with the charity. Fuck the charity. The link's in my bio. Go and donate to my husband. Well, not to him, but to... I've been wanting to ponder this question to you, Meg. It doesn't need to be the whole podcast.

I don't think it should be. It's probably a two-minute discussion. I'm watching Love is Blind. Yes. Also, by the way, has anyone else just fucking recently started getting a message from Netflix going, hey, this Netflix is no longer in your household.

Got that a year ago. Because I've been leeching off a year ago. Yeah, like a lot. I was one of the first. Yep. I'm leeching off mum and dad's account and I've just not been able to get into Netflix. You poor retired mother and father having to slug out to get your Netflix. It should be the other way around.

Absolutely should be. In Love is Blind, the season sucks, by the way, so don't bother getting into it, but when they're in the pods, and they are all dating multiple people, that's the show. So let's say I'm dating you, Meg, and let's say I'm dating you, Dan.

Freaky bitch. I know. Hey, nothing wrong with being bisexual. Go ahead. No, but he's dating two people. That's the freaky part. Well, I could be dating 15 people in the pods, right? Yeah, absolutely.

You could date as many people as you want until you get freaky. Typically, most people will narrow it down to a final two, or they say a choice A and a choice B. Now, they will like these different people, I'm assuming, for very different reasons because they are very different people. So I might like you, Meg, for reasons that are completely different to the reasons why I like Dan. What would be some of the reasons you like Meg physically?

I said two minutes. We don't have time. So what happens, Meg, is there's this one guy, and he likes, let's say, you. He's chatting away to you. He's only human. And he's thinking you're his number one, like you're his A pick at the moment because I imagine every time you have a date with your choice number one and choice number two, I imagine sometimes, Meg,

you are the person that I'm like, yeah, she's the person. Then I catch up with Dan. I'm like, oh, my God, maybe Dan's the person. Dan's saying all the right things. He is pretty hot. Then I catch up with you again, Meg, and I'm like, no, it's you again. So I'm wrestling the whole time. Because Meg's more of an acquired taste

And I'm more obviously hot Yeah I guess Well in this show You don't get to see them So it's not about that Is that what it would be Now I've finally decided I think

I think I have At least this is what happens This guy Dan is actually My choice Oh dear I think I'm going to go with Dan Sorry Meg

What about Meg you didn't like Why I'm thinking right I think that's what I want to do Turns out Dan's also Being seeing somebody else Right? Because everyone's

Seeing everybody And Dan Unfortunately Likes me No No Dan unfortunately Gets asked

For his hand in marriage By somebody else on the show I don't want your Fucking sloppy seconds You can fuck off If that's what you're Going to say to me You were going to go And pick Dan You decided on him show. I don't want your fucking sloppy seconds. You can fuck off. If that's what you're going to say to me, you were going to go and pick Dan,

you decided on him, and then I was your second choice because he's already taken. See you later, bitch. Go have fun with your hand tonight because I'm out. You know what? I quite like some of your sloppy bits. You were number one,

then you were two, then you were one, then you were two. See you later. You don't know if you were my one or two, but all you know is that Dan, the other person I was talking to, has now been proposed to. He's left the show.

He's gone and got married. And now I don't. Lucky me. Lucky me. Now you're proposing to me. Fuck off. Honestly. You should know straight away that it's me.

But this is exactly what's happened. The guy's now gone, oh, shit, I had two great choices. One's gone. Well, I guess she probably wasn't my person because she said yes to somebody else. So now I know Meg's my person. Now I've gone to Meg and gone, Meg, I want to be with you. And this person's gone.

I want to be your number one. And if I'm not, then I'm out. And she didn't even have a plan B. She just left the show with no one. Good on her. You would leave the show with no one. Well, hold on. If I found out, because I'd be like,

all you want to do is go for a fucking honeymoon in the Bahamas at this stage. You wanted to go with her. And if she had asked you, you probably would have said yes. Yeah, but my point is you still had a really strong connection, let's say, with me, and we had something really special. Even if it was just a little less special than what I had with Dan, don't you think we could still spend time together and make it work? No.

You know what, Clint? I don't even want you. She goes, I can't get past the fact that I'm not your number one. I want to be someone's number one. I was like, yeah, I get that. But you've only experienced such a small part of your relationship through a glass wall. Maybe if you get to know each other, you could be like,

thanks, fuck, I didn't choose Dan. If I'm on the reality show, though, right, I'm thinking, truly, I'm trying to think, okay, I don't know this person very well. I know him for a week through a glass wall. Yeah. If it was me, I'd be thinking, that lady's gone. Now you're proposing to me, Clint. I'm thinking you just want to continue the show to see if you can meet her

in real life. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. And get famous. That's where my go-go. So I'm thinking, yes, sure, you can come with me, and I'll look like a pleb hanging off the side and being your second choice.

And then you see fucking Dan over there on the honeymoon because they all come together, don't they? And then I'm going to just get my heart broken and look like a pleb twice. So fuck off. But then wouldn't you back yourself to be like, you almost made the wrong decision, and I'm going to prove to you that you were lucky that you escaped.

But then she's pandering to you again. You fucking asshole. Like, you prick. I wanted her, and she was my first choice. I didn't know he wanted me, by the way. I did. Actually, he wanted me, and I wanted you. And I didn't care if you were sloppy, to be honest.

He was calling you all sloppy. Some people like sloppy dogs. Now I've had my way with her. It's a higgledy-piggledy mess. Interesting, because I was just like, hey, you guys are all in a reality show to either find love or get famous. You did find love with this person,

and you get to go on the show. But just because you might have been his second choice, she blew up her sitch and left the show. And I was like, wow, that's really strange. I'd be thinking steps ahead, Clint, and I'd be thinking the moment he goes, because especially if I know, so I've seen Dan, haven't I? I'm like wow that's really strange I'd be thinking steps ahead Clinton I'd be thinking the moment he goes because especially

if I know so I've seen Dan haven't I I'm like Dan's fucking hot yeah because you all the girls in this scenario Dan's a girl

all the girls flat together can I ask does me the girl in the show know that Dan the girl in the show is hot

yeah yeah yeah you know each other you hang out and Meg I would say, the guy's first choice that he didn't get because she married someone else was hotter. Just so you know, Meg, I'm a boy.

Sorry. But so was she hotter? She was hotter. I'm not going to the island for him to see her and be like, I know it was you. Someone put the double glazing on this glass wall because I've been trying to tell you I'm a guy, not a woman.

Dan's in the wrong house. Hey, excuse me. You're using Dan as the other woman was confusing. Sorry, I think you think I'm a woman. Sorry about this. I'm a guy. I just don't want you to make the wrong decision. She's gone, isn't she?

They're like, Danielle, will you marry me? Oh, no, Danielle. I just wanted to quickly sidestep this, if that's okay. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. Okay, because I was like, oh, this girl, mate. What the hell are you doing? I get what you're saying.

I genuinely get it. And if in real life it was different, because it's a reality show, I would not be going up against Dan the girl over there. I'm a fucking man. Right. So I did do a post on our Edge Breakfast podcast. Fam, if you haven't seen it, we're doing our radio awards. It's very insular at the moment.

I'm just going to ask you boys a question because I can't remember this bit that somebody has suggested that we put in the radio tape. Yeah, because I think you probably, just to give you a little bit of context, you get a 10-minute tape to showcase the best stuff that you've done. I'd say you probably get six bits probably that you can include depending on obviously their length. So we won't ask much of you on this show except to subscribe and also

donate to the husband and then also a little bit of an opinion. No, no, no. Well, you can add to it if you like but this is actually just asking you guys

if you remember this bit because I don't. Okay. Do you remember when Dan flirted with his mum last year? Yes, I do. Well, I think

they've mistaken it for when I called her when it was someone's birthday. Did you have to call her baby? And it was Shaori. And I called her Shaori. I remember going, hey, Shaori.

Were we giving him words that he had to use? It was like Nellie's birthday or something. And I had to talk to her in the lyrics of Nellie. And you called her long legs? Yeah, mummy long legs. Mummy long legs. It was like, it was like, it was like, it was terms of endearment that you'd use on your partner.

And we tried to see How they would do it I think with your mum That's right Mummy long legs I'm sure you flirted with her At other times Or maybe she's just flirted with you

Probably Hi Julie Do you remember? Message me It was when I rang her You're right And we got the listeners To text through

All their like Pick up lines or something Or like things that they find sexy If guys say it to them Yeah that's right And it was like I called her And people would text her

Like hey shawty. That's right, Mummy Longlegs. Let me see if I can find it. Mummy Longlegs was a weird one. Julie can keep it up. She liked it, didn't she? Meg pranks Julie. Dan's solo car ride.

I'll find it on the Instagram. I can play it through. Yeah, okay. Have a little gaze. Okay, well, that's interesting. We can have a bit of a listen and see if we're like, oh, actually, that is funnier than we remember.

A lot of love for Dan's diary. Are we surprised? No. Yeah, I think we were talking about which is the best entry to submit. I think when Dan had a speech competition coming up and he was like, The dinosaurs.

Triceratops, Brontosaurus, Brachiosaurus. I bet you didn't understand a word I just said. No, I'm not speaking Chinese I'm talking dinosaurs It was so funny I can't believe you stood up And said that

In front of your class What a joy that was right What a joy What a joy Do we want to do a guess for fart? Oh yeah Anything else you want to touch on Before we get into that?

No I was trying to find that video Of me flirting with my mum But I can't find it Oh, I've got to fart As soon as Meg said fart Then I'm like, now I can fart Oh, he's got one Problem is, then I suck it back up

And then suck it back up Do you want to quickly guess? Here we go, come on Oh, it's going to be quick Danny, you've got to focus Quick, quick, quick Ready, go A stinky mystery for us to uncover

Oh, no, it's going back up Guess the fart I won really yeah I feel like I would've produced something like

Carl I feel like that what did Jamie cook for dinner that fucking smells like beef jerky fucking muskets make my eyes water you stinky little prick

Carl I would like A replay on that Because I honestly Think I would Honestly I think farts Make me grumpy

When they're real Like the stink Of your stinky anus It fucking annoys The shit out of me And the fact that You do it on a Friday And sends us both

Into the weekend On a fucking huff I'm in the best mood I love it It stinks man It's the smell It's the smell. It's funny when you hear it and then the stench

of your fucking gut. We're getting a replay from Producer Kyle to see who actually was closest this time because I'm calling over to the judge. I will say,

I'll admit it was very close. Can you guys hear me? Yeah. Can you hear this if I play it? Suck it back up and then...

Yeah. Do you want to suck it back? Do you want to quickly guess? Here we go Come on Oh it's got to be quick Danny focus Quick quick quick Ready go

A stinky mystery For us to It's going back up It's going back up It's the fight No it is Dan Sorry about that No he had to tell you

It was Dan Yeah no I hear that now. Thanks for doing that, though, Carl. Yeah, no, thanks, Carl. That was great. Yeah, thank you for that. You want to do a round two? Yeah.

Oh, God. Okay, now hold on. I need to know what the feeling is. Okay. Oh, wait. Are we table cut? Yeah, table cut. Okay, I'm going to go.

Can I play? Yeah. Oh, go on, Carl. Yeah, go on then. Oh, good. Oh, good. His anus is really tight. So I've gone classic farty, you've gone ducking, and we've done a on, Carl. Go on, then. Oh, good. His anus is really tight. So I've gone classic farty, you've gone ducking,

and we've done a whistle with Carl. Here we go. I've done it again. No, come on. He's done it. Two in a row. Fuck, mate. Get out.

That fucking stench. He's done it. Two in a row. Fuck, mate. Get out. That fucking stitch. He's gone. He's gone. He doesn't say next week, guys. He doesn't say next week.