The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS a real cheek slapper...

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Welcome to the podcast that should have been cancelled before it even started. This is Clint, Megan, Dan's OnlyFans. Podcast that is! Kia ora everybody, welcome along to the OnlyFans podcast for your Friday. Clint, Dan and Ashlandon. Hello my loves, I've had such a wonderful week with you darlings. Oh we love having you here.

I've filled in on so many shows over my years. How many you reckon? I've done like proper fill-ins, like more than two weeks, probably like six different shows. Yeah. I was always the go-to, because I do my own show on my own.

My night shows are always a solo show. So they're like, oh, Ash can do that show as well as hers. Cause she's, you know, like it's just her. Who's the biggest prick you've worked with? I've never worked with a prick and I mean that. Never. Because I saw you worked with Grant Dania and I love Grant Dania. He's the nicest human being you've ever met. He's the guy that hosts, what's it, the Deal or No Deal.

I think he is like, and he is like the epitome of the textbook professional game show host. He's so good. And he used to drive V8 supercars. Yeah, and broke his neck. Yeah, he had quite a serious... And then got addicted to the painkillers. Oh really? It was a little bad. I was gonna say, probably not giving yourself enough credit, but maybe you do.

Um, to be someone that is asked to slot into that many shows, you have to be quite a chameleon. And you have to be able a chameleon and you have to be able to like adapt to benefit each show which is obviously completely different to the next. I think I'm just really not an asshole like I really try my best to be a nice person and I think when that kind of person is slotting into a very specific ecosystem you know the studio is a very specific balance you can't have someone that's gonna come in and try and take over or yeah.

Hard though for the first couple of days where you kind of go what is this person's vibe and where do I have to sit to allow them to comfortably still be the person that they like being because sometimes yeah if they're the say person, and then you come in as the loud person, then all of a sudden they have to be louder to be the loud person. Or if they're not funny, and they think they're really funny, and they're used to everyone fake laughing at their jokes, that was, thankfully, I don't have to do that here. Because I listened to this show a lot, obviously, before I did it, so I know that you're genuinely funny, because there's nothing worse than having to be like, waiting for them to just

fire the ads off so you can stop fake laughing. Yeah. Who's the loud person on this show? I reckon most people would maybe think it's me, but I reckon it's Clint. You're the loudest Clint. Yeah.

But you're the funny guy, Dan. But I don't know if I'm, I'm not always funny. I reckon there'll be, you'll need some fake laughs with me, Ash, don't you worry. But it's very... you take a lot of swings, which is fantastic. And then we don't actually fake laugh. What's funny is when we don't, I just drop the music out and we let you sit in what you said. Yeah, yeah. That's unfortunately not my superpower is knowing when to not speak. I need to think I need to do that. I need to be that person that's like, you know what, don't speak, and to know just what you're thinking. Case in point. My wife will say to me a lot like we're even just having a conversation in the

kitchen and she'll go, yeah babe, I'm right here, I'm right here, you don't need to shout. And this is my pet peeve because I'm like in my head I'm and I have to stop and go I'll start speaking and she's like that's better and in my head I'm like it's the same volume. My family calls me Foggles which is short for Foghorn that's my nickname because I'm so loud and Adrian still says to me inside voice babe I'm just here. Oh my god Hannah she said to me. She goes I'm just here. And my daughter is very loud and I'll be like, Cam, Cam, babe, I'm doing it to her now. And my wife goes, where do you think she gets it from?

And I was like, there's no way I'm as loud as her. My wife's like, you are. We just get so excited about ourselves. Yes. You know, and you're just in a zone with yourself. You don't realise. Until you hear it back in a trailer and then you're like, shut up.

Oh my God, the amount of times, you know how people say like radio people love the sound of their own voice no god not me whenever I have to turn down the radio whenever I hear myself. Really. Oh god. Dan does this thing and it's my favorite thing and it happens very it happens a lot and I witness it a lot where if the camera's on or if the mics on and it's go, we need someone to do something. Dan will do something crazy. And then almost within seconds of the mic's going off or him watching it back, he'll go, fuck, what am I doing? I'm so, what was it?

It's like he's two people watching himself do what he just did. And it's like. It's post-night clarity, that's what they call it. It's like I've watched a video that I just regret watching But it's me doing it if you know what I mean. It's yeah, not many jobs require as much introspection self What's the word like? Reflection reflection and immediately. Yeah, you know the thing for me is I think it's my downfall I think it would be for a lot. Maybe it is with you as well Ash is I

When I go into something like we did it today with who des Dan I go into it and it's my downfall, and I think it would be for a lot, maybe it is with you as well Ash, is I, when I go into something, like we did it today with Hootie's Dad, I go into it and it's the, the main priority for me is making people laugh and making the... At any expense. Bit good. Yeah. And often that's at any expense. So I'm like live on air calling my wife to try and tell her that we're, you know, do something embarrassing or whatever it is. And I'm, the part of me is going,

you shouldn't be doing this, Dan, but then the other part of me is going, it'll make great radio. And that always wins. I don't have that though. Oh, right. I don't have that, like you need to be funny. I'm not the funny person.

But I can imagine that would be exhausting. It's like Matthew Perry on Friends. Says he would put himself through hell all day, every day, because he wanted to get laughs from the audience. But the problem was, it didn't sound like the Matthew Perry thing from what I heard and different people spoke on it. It didn't feel like it gave him that adrenaline kick that he was always looking for so he was he just continued, it's like a dog

chasing his tail he's never gonna get it. Yeah I think it was like a drug for him and obviously he was addicted to antidepressants and things like that. It's a very sad story about Matthew Perry. But yeah, I mean, obviously, like I know a person that saw him in Melbourne. He was in like in a park in Melbourne. This was years ago during when Friends was being filmed. And they just went up to him and introduced themselves and like wanted to, I guess, get a signature because it was before phones. And he talked to Matthew Perry for

15-20 minutes and Matthew Perry gave him all that time like heaps of time but and I think Matthew Perry was like continuing the conversation. They're already just a lovely man. I've just seen the text. Actually I almost did the thing that I hate when anyone calls it a text machine. It's not a text machine. Yeah, you know, you can call it that. Everyone calls it that on there. I said it to Adrian this week, I'm like, do they really call it a text machine? And I hear other radio stations, they're like, oh, on the text, send us a text on the text

machine. Just say send us a text. Yeah. They could still make sense and you have to use less words or go, we just got a text. There's not a machine. It's like you text us and it's just on a screen, we read it. But maybe it's... Maybe there was a text machine back in like the 80s Yeah, you know it was like one of those things that like print cancer and Morse code

Yeah, yes was talking to us just before we handed things over to her Just for 10 and she was saying that she was going to do like a phone or about if you could have your perfect festival What would it be with obviously Tomorrowland burning down and all the rest of it. And we were talking, I tried to pitch to you guys like the boy band festival, just the greatest boy bands from around the world coming together.

Someone texted in saying a festival with all the people, well they said that was shit. But maybe you could have like the runner ups of like American Idol, like losers. So they didn't win. So we don't know what they're doing now because they never went on and made the album, but they were still in the top 10. Yeah, that's a great idea. I don't know if he's allowed to go to this festival. Did Fantasia win? Was she on? Yes, I think Fantasia won one. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because it's interesting, those were the old seasons that a lot of us remember when it was just the biggest thing on TV. Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and, um, I think it was the best season ever. Yeah. And, um, I think it was the best season ever. Yeah. And, um, I think it was the best season ever. Yeah.

And, um, I think it was the best season ever. Yeah. And, um, I it's interesting, those are the old seasons that a lot of us remember when it was just the biggest thing on TV. Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paul Abdul. Who's Fantasia? She's had the short hair. She was on a fantastic... Oh yeah, Fantasia Barrino. Barrino, that's right. Yeah, that's right.

In Australia, all the ones that didn't would have gone on to do great, apart from Guy Sebastian, you've got like Vera Bloom, Matt Corby, like so many. Shannon Noll, remember? Do I remember you? Shannon Noll is as famous as Guy Sebastian in Australia. Really? 100% Like up there with Barnsie. Noll's Ian Barnsie and Farnsy. I love Jimmy Barns. He's a beautiful man. Yeah he's like I've we used to work at The Rock and used to come in quite a bit and he's like one of the nicest people I've ever met. And during lockdown, did you follow him on Instagram? Oh, he's just a beautiful, his family, his wife. Always smiling. Love them.

What about the guy who was leading Queen? Adam Lambert. Lambert, did he win or did he get second? I think he won. Who was he second to though? If he got, if he came second, that's a Traverse dream. No, he definitely won. There was a Philip Phillips as well.

I feel like he was really great. He was a runner. So you get all these runner-up, idle losers at a festival to see what they're up to and if they're any good. Adam Lambert's about to perform Jesus Christ Superstar at The With Cynthia Erivo. She's playing Jesus.

And there are- This is the middle of our Venn diagram for me and Dan. We've crossed over. I can't believe it. And my goodness me, what I would do to get there. Seriously. This is the middle of our Venn diagram. We've crossed over. My goodness me, what I would do to get there. He's playing Judas and she's playing Jesus. And there's a third person that's amazing.

How controversial is that? I want to say it's like Josh Gad or something. There's a guy that looks like Gad. Hold on, I'm just gonna find the cast now. How much controversy is there in the Broadway world or scenes of having a female Jesus? That's fine now. I think it's fine. There's a lot of musical theatre where a female plays a male part or vice versa. Like, you know Matilda? Better singers.

Matilda, the musical on Broadway, is generally the trunchball, who's a female character, is played by a male quite often. Yeah. Because they need the stature and they're like. I get that though. That's an easy, I think, uh, like people can accept that one easily enough, you know? Yeah. It's like Hairspray as well had John Travolta played the mom. They all often do a man.

Um, Adam Labatt came first after Chris Allen. Never heard of him. Who's that person? And Danny Goukey was on that. Oh, I don't remember? And Danny Goukey was on that. I remember again Danny Goukey. And then Carrie Underwood, she won her season, right? She won, Jesus, take the wheel. We like her. But it would be interesting, yeah, because of these names you hear and you go, oh, that's right, Claire Aiken. Oh no, sorry, sorry, sorry. At a moment, was the runner-up?

He lost. Chris Allen won. Chris Allen, yeah, he was a rock, wasn't he? He was rocky. Kind of like a doughtry. Chris doughtry. I don't think, you know what, I think he did like a doughtry song in it. But yeah, I think, I remember he was, I think it was of a time when maybe it was in his... His controversial Adam Lam was gay. Yes, and I think it was probably 15, 20 ago when he won and he probably lost because of that It was in America, right? He's done well. Oh god. He's done like where is that other guy now?

Unbelievable. Yeah I'm just trying to find the cast. Sorry. We're gonna have to cut this out of the of the Jesus Christ Superstar thing I literally saw it the other day. Um, oh Yeah, I remember Chris Allen now that I see his face. Yeah. Yeah, I'd go to that festival though Yeah, I remember Chris Allen now that I see his face. I remember that guy. Yeah, I'd go to that festival though. Although I almost made it American. Cynthia Reaver, yeah it is Josh Gad.

Oh it is Josh. Josh Gad's playing, and then Philip Astoo from Hamilton is playing Mary Magdalene. Yeah, what a cast. It's unbelievable. Yeah, and it's all happening live. Oh, I'd love to have gone. Jesus Christ, I love Jesus Christ Superstar.

It's the campest. Oh God, yeah. It's a campest. Oh God, yeah. It's a rock opera. So it's very camp. Andrew Lloyd Webber, he wrote it. But yeah, it's very, I did it when I was at high school. There's a song called Gethsemane from it, where he goes, it's the Cynthia sings it in the middle, so, but show, but it's, oh my goodness, very, very high.

Yeah, and it's like just Jesus on stage with a spotlight on him and he does this really high note, the crescendo note. Wait, were you Jesus in Jesus Christ? No, we did a showcase of different musicals in Jesus Christ. We did like 20 minutes of the show. Oh, right. And there was a bit where I sing, I only want to see if there is a way.

And then there's at the end, she goes, there's a real high, but at the end where it's like, take! Like that, really high. That's so good. Cynthia will nail it. She will. When I was really sick with the flu, I was too sick to watch TV but I just wanted to watch something so I got onto Netflix and I just fast forwarded through Wicked just to all my favorite musical moments and I sat there just bald watching that. I know. Oh do you know what's funny? Belle who's our web girl, she just watched Wicked because now it's on Netflix. Yeah.

And she goes, oh my god I watched Wicked. And we're like, and Dan goes, oh my god did you love it? And she goes, ah, she was like, I didn't really understand, like I kind of fell asleep and then I woke up and I was like, why do they all hate her? She missed the final song. She was like, the final song had happened and I was like, why do they all hate her? She missed the final song. She was like the final song happened and they're like, oh my god, everyone hates her now. What the hell did she do? That's what my friend had never seen Casablanca.

I was like, you've got to watch it. So they watched over the weekend. How'd you like it? From the moment it started, I just had no idea what was going on. Like I felt like I felt like I had missed something and they'd watched it from the intermission onwards. Brilliant. Because it's two DVDs. Yeah.

Oh mom. So they tuned in at the intermission and then all of a sudden there's a bloody war going on and they're like what the? It starts abruptly doesn't it? I've told this story many times where a man is like that, like very technology challenged

and he got a box set of like band of brothers or something, some war thing. And I said to him, how's it going? And he goes, oh, I finished it. And I was like, oh, do you like it? It's meant to be good. And he goes, oh, it's hard to follow. And I was like, really?

And then I found out he didn't realize there were four episodes on each disc. And so he'd watched episode one, episode five, episode nine, like he'd just taken the disc out and just watched the first step on every disc. That's so funny, eh? I was like, Dad, like, oh my god, that's so bad. I don't understand how they got through life and all the rest of it was some of the questions they have for me.

How old was your dad that he was boomed out by a DVD? Yeah, that was true. Technically advanced four. I remember one time when I was in high school, mum and dad woke me up, it was like midnight, maybe one o'clock or something, it was ridiculous. Obviously they'd been battling for ages and then gone, we're just going to have to wake them up. And I'm like, what? And then they're like, oh, we need to help with something. And I was like, what is it?

And they go upstairs and they're like, we can't work out how to turn the computer off. And I was like, fucking what? I've been out of the war for all I care. Oh, God, sweethearts. They're like, but won't it, I don't know, will it give us a virus if we don't shut it down? I feel like I'm becoming that now. Like I'm getting to an age now where I don't get things

and things are a bit too overwhelming for me. So, and I'm like, oh shit. Now I'm beginning to understand what it was like for my parents when they would have to get me to tell them things. And I'd be like, how dumb are you? I'm now going full circle. And I'm like, oh, too hard. Everything's too hard, basket.

Yeah. Too confusing. Fairly unknown. When you start not being able to use a mobile device, that's when it's too far. I think that's when you've turned old. Are we going to? Are we doing it?

Are we doing it? Yes! Oh shit, it's Friday. And we've got the air purifier in the studio. Oh my god. Can you turn it on like, extreme high? So this air purifier, it starts red when it's obviously purifying the air

and then it takes a while and eventually it goes blue. Yeah. Being like, ding, everything's good, no bacteria here. Yeah, but I wonder if you farted in the vent that sucks it in. How long? Would it be like, ding, everything's good, no bacteria here. Yeah, but I wonder if you farted in the vent that sucks it in. How long? Would it be like, oh, red? Yeah.

Oh, I'd love to see. I don't think it will be enough bacteria. What I don't wanna do is like, you know. Break the machine. Yeah, of course you'd have to change your filter out early. Yeah, true. Jesus, how funny. Imagine knowing that your air filter is filtering air

that I farted into a couple of hours ago. You farted into my mouth like literally a month ago. So don't give her air filter the same treatment as me. He literally did by the way Ash. That's so rude. Disgusting. No, but just, you know the story. But just now I made a mask with a hose and hair.

Dan tried to guess what I'd eaten. Anyway, I just thought, I said I'd wear the mask, but Dan couldn't fart. So I was like, we have to play to our strengths. You just had roast chicken and vegetables which I feel is a bit sulphury. Mmm we do have an interview that we need to record in a few minutes so unfortunately you guys aren't gonna be able to run out of the studio you're gonna have to stay here marinating it. I can't smell anything at this point.

Well you go first ladies first it's your first time on it Ash feel free to. It's the sound isn't it. Yeah you just have to guess. Whoever's your first time on it, Ash. Feel free to... It's the sound, isn't it? Yeah, you just have to guess. Whoever gets closer gets breaking rights for the week. Pfft. Fucking hell. How loose is your cheeks? OK.

I'm going to go... knowing Clint, it's been a while. Um... Oh, he's getting saliva in his mouth. Oh. It's going to be a bit of a cheek flapper. I've been on stage for, it's been a while. That was bang on what you did down there. Was it also going to say I was a bit more of a tie? No, it was a bit more of a tie. Nice. It's wet.

It's stinking. I'm not stinking. It hasn't even got to you yet. I've never been happier to be sick and also be sitting next to an air purifier. Yeah, if the light goes red again that'll be crazy. You're weak. I just can't believe you can do that on me. I can't believe other people can't do that.

Better just ask me if I could grab a drink bottle out of the studio. Before it gets to the nozzle. I reckon I'd shit myself if I tried. I'd have to squeeze so hard that a poo would come out. Yep, same. I'm the same. Yeah. You know last week, this week when I got our maccas for breakfast, and I'd been on like pseudo-epidren and lots of cold and flu tablets

for like four days and I hadn our maccas for breakfast. And I'd been on like pseudo-epidrenic, lots of cold and flu tablets for like four days and I hadn't pooed. Something about that sausage and egg McMuffin broke the seal. Oh really? In a work toilet. Yeah. If I needed a gas mask.

Yeah, yeah. That poor toilet. But isn't it good just knowing you're getting paid to shit? Yeah. Like when you do it at work. On the clock. You. How good.

I'm grounded. All right guys, have a great one. Enjoy your weekend. Sorry. We'll see you next week. Bye. Rova. Music.

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