The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS A sex swing?!

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover Dumb chat bad decisions zero shame if that sounds like your vibe you're in the right place. This is Clint Megan dance only fans broadcast What do you like I like something that I can a little bit of light just because I Know if it's a clitoris's completely dark I don't know what's what you know can't find it yeah welcome to the only fans everybody got em again, got em again, Megan and I are talking about lights on or lights off in the

bedroom and we go what do you reckon Dan? record yeah it's my wife's birthday this weekend oh that's exciting we're going out for dinner and going out. I always forget so close to Mother's Day she gave birth. Yeah, I know. Her birthday's on Mother's Day this year. Oh, how amazing. So double the gifts, double the love, double the breakfasts and dinners that you're making, double the flowers, double the chores you're doing, double the mental workload you're taking on for her. Double the stuff. I'll do at least half of that stuff you just listed. Oh, that sounds like you're not doubling anything then,

if you're halving the double. Oh, but I've got a really good birthday gift this year. I'm not gonna say it, because she might listen. Oh, is that an R-rated thing? Oh my god, I've spent some money. Goodness me. Sex swing. No, it's nothing to do with that.

Hannah's not like that. She's not into that sort of stuff. What ever, mate. She, the gift she's getting will, I won't even say it because there'll be guys listening that'll be like Jesus Christ how will I ever live up to that? What? Yeah

I don't know You turn the mics off and I'll tell you guys Okay, okay hold on I'll be cooler That's a risky gift. I wouldn't do that if I were you. What do you mean? Is it a voucher to go and buy it or have you already bought it?

No, she likes, she knows. Oh, honestly, so she has chosen, seen, liked them and you've just gone and purchased them. No, no, she's spoken about them in the past going, oh, I'd love that. And I've gone, I'll bank that for one day. And you're like, that's weird, I didn't think you were a six-week type girl. And then did you do this? It's not a six-week. Did you do this?

This is what boys do, try to be subtle. They go, hey, so remember those? No. I'm not gonna say what it is. So remember that vacuum cleaner that you really liked? Was that the like Dyson 350? No, I remember taking it, I took a screenshot on my phone when she mentioned it.

It was over a year ago. Oh, that's good. I get it, that's good husband thing. Over a year ago, now, that's good. I get it. That's good. That's good husband thing. Over a year ago, now we're talking. Not a week ago. Might even have been two years ago. I think it was definitely before George's. Oh, man. She might not want them anymore if it's two years ago. Oh, she will.

Yeah, they've got new models. New model swings since then. Way better ones. It's not a swing. And different colour vac- How do you know so much about them? Different colour and shape vacuums and, you know, your house can change and so- It's not a vacuum. Okay, well I'm'm just trying I'm not saying what the thing is. But if she's wanting a birthday gift for me I know a couple of good Dyson's that I... Anyway so there. Yeah I've got um oh I just got a little buzz buzz from my

husband saying I he said I just got a little dopamine rush from buying your Mother's Day stuff. Sex lane! I fucking love spending money Meg. Oh my god, it's the best thing. Spending money is meant to be such a temporary dopamine hit. Yeah. And then it's gone and then you've that's why people just keep buying. Should we ring our mums now because it's Mother's Day this weekend and we each get 10 seconds to say how much we love them.

10? Yeah and give them a little research. It would take way longer to say how much I love my. Ten? Yeah, and give them a little taste. It would take way longer to say how much I love my wife. I mean, I just wrote a whole fucking poem for mine and set it on here. Yeah, but it wasn't personalised to Philippa. It actually was. It was written for her. No, but she wasn't there.

I read it to her yesterday over the phone before it went on here. Give her a ring. Actually, I had to do that. I love talking to our moms. And I sent it to her in laminate form. She's not going to answer, is she? Yes, she'll answer. It's me, Dan has said I have 10 seconds to tell you how much I love you for Mother's Day, but you know I also call you every single day and we have like an hour long conversation,

so I feel like this is almost a waste. She's wasting her time just describing why. And I wrote you a poem, so I don't feel like I need to, but I love you very much, I hope you know that. I do know that. Yeah. And you know how much I love you too. Yeah, yes, yes, yes.

Oh. And there's nothing, nothing better in the world than knowing that you are loved. Absolutely nothing. That's true, that is true, Philippa. Loved as much or more than her brother, Chris. So what are you doing for Mother's Day today? Is she a Chris?

Every year! Every single year! The same thing comes up. Who's the first Chris? When my dad got asked, under false pretenses by the way, we were pretended to be like some... He called your brother? Yeah, he did. were pretended to be like some father's day survey and we asked three quick questions just to end the phone call one was in who's your favorite son you chose my brother yeah because he's got more and more in common yeah so maybe what's about you next year when you get a call asking you to just answer three quick questions? I'm waiting for the one that watches who's your favourite grandchild.

So that'll come up at some point. Have you got more than one? No, just one. Give it a couple of years, Clem will store that one away. The first one's always the favourite though. They never get trumped. The first one's always the favourite. Yeah, they've had more time to bond with Nana. Yeah, yeah first one's always the favorite though. They never get trumped. The first one's always the favorite. Yeah, they've had more time to bond with Nana. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, hopefully you get a nice surprise visit from Meg and Wellington this weekend. Oh, Mum, that's not happening. Don't even... Oh, that's what she says, Clint, but she's booked tickets. I know she would have. Mum's flying up on Tuesday. They don't pay you enough to be able to do that, I know. Thank you, Mum. Yes, she's not coming down this weekend, Philippa, don't worry. I don't love you, Mum.

We've got to talk to the other mums. Love you. I love you, babe. Just make sure you're home Saturday. God, she's going to be so surprised when she sees you. Yes, such a lovely gift, Meg. All right, let's call Christine. I actually don't think my mum will answer because she's at the shoe shop. When she sees you. Yeah, so it's such a lovely gift, Meg. Alright, let's call Christine.

I actually don't think my mum will answer because she's at the shoe shop. So we'll call Christine. I wanna know what John's doing for her for Mother's Day. Good morning. Hey mum. Hey Christine. Hello.

Hey, did you get my message this morning, Christine? Ah, no I haven't seen you. Did you get Dan's message? I messaged you on Instagram, Christine. I messaged you on Facebook? Oh no I don't do Facebook. She's not that old. She's not a boomer mate. Come on. Hey Christine happy Mother's Day. Oh thank you. I was going to say thank you but you're not a mother are you? No, that'd be awkward. Yeah I'm gonna see you on Sunday, so I'll spoil your rotten then. You've got 10 seconds to tell her how much. And I'll give you your sex swing. My what?

Sex swing. Did you want me to return it? A sex swing? She's already got one of those. Tell me, what do I do with it, clunk? Oh god, this is getting... I don't know. Would you even dare him to say that? He's trained so well.

I said Ben do a nice loving message to your mum and he's brought sex swing to it. Dad's in the background going oh come on I hope he's not joking. And then you and Christine have gone tell me how I use it Clint. Oh my goodness me. Well I've never seen one or heard of one, so you know. You've never heard of one, what a liar. A sex swing. Yeah, well what you do is you sit on it, Christine,

and you hold onto the robes, then legs go up. Okay, she knows. And then towards John. John swings. She knows. Oh, that sounds interesting. Oh God. Just make sure you're wearing- Just go for the hips. Yeah. Swings and nose. Oh, that sounds interesting. Oh, god. Just make sure you're wearing...

Just go for the hips. Yeah. It might be better than a vibrator. Okay. And see you, Christine. Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day, mum. Love you.

Have the best time. I'll see you someday. Oh, love you guys too. Will do. Look forward to it. Bless you. See you later. Might be better than a vibrator.

You can't be mad about that. You set that all up yourself. You should be mad at yourself. You know what I did? I tried to play her at her game, thinking she'd back down, and instead she was like, well I see your bet,

and I re-raised, and I was like, oh shit. I was bluffing, and I was hoping she'd fold. Clint knows his mum's wheelhouse, and we know she's a sexual lady, you know? So of course she's gonna play to her strengths. Oh God.

As is Philippa and Julie. Well no, my mum's not. Oh Julie sent me a lovely message this morning actually. Now she's at the shoe shop today so I wonder whether she won't answer, she might have a client. Well, learn to buy her her favourite pair and you'll get her to send you the bill and you pay for it. Yeah, I don't know if she's going to answer. Oh here she goes. Hello Julie speaking. Hello mum, I know you're at the shoe shop, you're at work.

Oh, no you just rescued me from a customer actually. Oh. Thanks mum. Yeah, we hate talking to them. You make sure you go to Howick's shoe shop because for the best customer service. What was she doing, Jolyne? She was telling me her life story. Had she already bought the shoes? No, no, oh god no, those sort don't buy shoes. They just come in and talk.

Oh yeah, and Mum gets a whole lot of the old biddies she calls in, they come in and just for a chat. I do not, I do not. Anyway, hit the clock. This could not be on the radio, is it? No, it's not on national radio. 10 seconds on the clock just to tell you how much I love you, you're an amazing mum,

you're an amazing single parent, and I would never have hoped for anything more than being raised by such a strong, lovely woman like yourself. Just got five more seconds. You are amazing, you're gorgeous, and you made me the man I am today. I didn't have much of a father figure in my life, and you gave me that father figure. So your mum was a bit of a, like a, monk? No, no, no, like a masculine mum. No, she's a bit of a butch. Butch, she's alright, yeah, she is. But in a good way.

Oh that's lovely. Yeah. What would you like Dan to buy you for Mother's Day if you could have anything? I've already got it so. Oh the sex wig. No she's not getting her sex wig. Who's she gonna use it, who's she gonna swing into? She's got no partner. What am I eh? What are you guys doing? Clint's got his mum a sex swing. No I didn't. A sex swing.

No. No I've just got a voucher that expires today so someone's not gonna use it. No why do you have a voucher? Interesting. Anyway there you go mum love you to bits we'll see you on Sunday. Oh that's lovely thank you. Anyway, there you go, Mum. Love you to bits. We'll see you on Sunday. Oh, that's lovely. Thank you. That's twice I've cried today. Oh.

Just don't sound like you're crying now, though. Are you okay? No, I'm not crying, but, you know, tears. No, yeah, with Meg's poem, it was beautiful. It was gorgeous, wasn't it? Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant when she stuffed up that word at six o'clock. No, no.

No, I will say this though, Mum. I made mine up on the spot and it came from the heart. Meg had written hers Oh pre written. Yeah pre written. That was lovely. Yeah. Thank you. That was beautiful. Thank you We'll love you. It's just gonna be on fans only. Yeah fans only that's what I'm saying It's called Little. Yeah the famous fans only podcast Yeah, I'm hoping my mum didn't hear Meg's poem because then I feel... You guys need to stop taking the piss out of us old people because I tell you what the number of times the number of things we say the number of times I hear you guys say things and I think what? Me, actually Dan just pointed me I am stupid though Julie I'm life smart. No I'm not about you Meg, I'm talking about the guys as well.

Oh, you're very short on that. Wait, wait, the guys, so Dan and there's only me left. Yep, exactly. Okay, well there you go. That's a real shame. Well I don't know how this has turned into a roast of us. But anyway. Wow, so that's, I've been bullied by two webbies this week.

Interesting. Anyway, don't you have, in your words, old biddies to get back to Mum? Yes I do. No, I didn't say that. It doesn't sound like you get paid on commission Julie. They're lucky to have her at that shoe shop. I wish I was. Alright, hey, you have a bloody fantastic Mother's Day Julie.

And before you go, what's the specials today on the shoes? What's the best deal you can do for me on a pair of... shoes? You don't know one brand. None for you unless you're a cross-dresser because we don't have any. Brilliant. Thank you, Julie, with happy Mother's Day. Bring Dan in a pair of red bottoms. Red bottom heels.

Unless you're a cross-dresser, you can get some of them. Fucking... I'm gonna love your mum. Got nothing for you unless you're a cross dresser, you can get some of them. Fucking... I'm gonna love your mum. You've got nothing for you unless you're a cross dresser. You know what, even if I was, I think my mum would be like Oh, I'll get you some. Yeah, what do you want?

What sort of cross dressing do you want to do? Bless her. Anyway. There we go, that was a bit of fun. Well, that's us. Happy Mother's Day. If you're listening, and if you're not listening to this around Mother's Day, fuck her. Right. Yep. It was aggressive.

It was aggressive. And I can't even save it with a Guess the Fart intro because... It's done. We're done. Oh, look, someone sounds disappointed. Oh. Look, I always liked Guess the Fart. I did find it a bit yuck. I do think we were just a bit fart heavy. That's all. I'm not the boss.

We have to get out of here. Okay, all right, sorry guys, no fart. Unless someone starts a petition on the podcast fan page and it starts gaining heaps of traction because that's what the people want, unfortunately. It'll just be one of those things we used to do. We're the People Show, we'll do what you tell us. Within reason.

See you guys. Rover, music, radio, podcasts.