The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS anal st

Episode Date: September 23, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Not your mum's podcast, unless she's into absolute filth, in which case, respect. This is Clint Megan Dan's Only Fans. Podcast, that is. Welcome to Only Fans with Clint Dan and Ash London. I appreciate you tuning in. I've got some hookups for some Monster Jam tickets. They're sold out.

Well, it's not Monster Jam. It's the spin-off. It's the Hot Wheels Monster Truck. It's going on Hot Wheels Monster Trucks live. I've been to a Monster Jam in America, and that's like the OG Monster Jam. Have you confirmed that they're doing that at Eden Park? I just can't believe they're going to let Monster Trucks drive on the whole. Is it even Park?

Or is it Mount Smart? It's one of the two. It's Eden Park. I live near Eden Park and it was driving out yesterday. That's wild because I know how pedantic they are about walking on to the grass. There must be a coverage, I would imagine. Yeah, but even so, these trucks are so big and they're like flying up at the end and landing on like one or two tires at a time. The Allbacks are playing this weekend there and then the weekend after it was Monster Trucks.

I think crazy. it would be worse for having a concert there. Because if you think it's really five monster trucks, can you imagine like 10,000 people on the ground? That's true. Because I think Eden Park holds how many people, like 50,000? Yeah. So there'd be at least probably 7,000 on the actual floor of the weather pitches.

So that would probably be heavier than monster trucks. There must be a lot of prep, I guess, that goes into making sure that the groundskeeper is at absolutely fuming when the gig's over. I met the groundskeeper once. I don't know if he's still the guy. Oh, Willie? Willie, yeah, yeah. He's lovely.

You're smarter. Do you know Willie? Groundskeeper Willie. Oh, no. I can find two tickets. They're $130 each though. Monsters for the monster chokes. That's for the ones.

That's a lot. Wow. But they're almost like completely sold out except for the odd seat here and there. You think if it sold out that quick ahead of the gig of still two weeks away, they would have put on a second show, especially with the amount of prep that goes into getting them here. They're probably on a Wellington after that.

They're like, there's no time for us to be. Yeah, it'd be cool. How do they get the cars from? Dunedin. Truck. Do they just have to... Drive them all the way out? Yeah, on like the back of a thing.

And wait, how do they get them from the States? I think they must come over on a cargo. Because the way they transport them is they put the small wheels on them. So they take the big monster truck wheels off. And I think deflate them and then they can transport them around the world. But I think from city to city they just put like little tiny wheels on them, drive them onto the back of a like flatbed truck. Like when you're playing...

Oh, shit. Mario cart And then when you choose your car You can have tiny wheels Yeah So it looks like And then they fit into a truck And then they drive them up

The country Yeah That's how they do Monster Jam in America So they drive them all around Like tours around them Kind of America all year Monster Jam Dan wants to take his son

But his wife said he's too young Yeah he's a year and a half And Hannah's like He's too young to go to a big gig like that Maybe this could be like A birthday present for Buddy He's obsessed with monster trucks He's one and a half

And every time we go to Kmart At all the warehouse You know they have those hot wheels Monster trucks You can buy He goes straight to their, straight, picks them off the shelf.

Yeah, he doesn't even know, yeah. He loves it. He calls them road rollers. But I mean... Road rollers. Yeah, because he's obsessed with like road works and diggers and stuff. So he thinks they're road rollers.

We've had... Since, they've just left, but for the first month that we lived in our new house, they've been like digging up the road on our little road because of the laying new power lines. And it was so good for the first week, but it would just sit at the window,

but then it just became infuriating and annoying and too many cones. And someone got on the... neighborhood watch text WhatsApp group and they were like I'm having nightmares about the cones

I'm imagining just ramming the cones down and then everyone's like we hate the fucking cones too and then one other person was like actually it's not the council's fault I've made friends with the treaties I'm like all right mate

Oh yeah you're on like a group chat in your neighbourhood which I haven't really ever heard of and the last thing I need another fucking I hate a busy body I hate a busy body and they're always at round

I yelled at someone last week Hannah told me off but I was driving up the road and I was going 50, in fact, probably 45 kilometres per hour. And there was a man doing private work in one of, in his house, and he'd put cones out on the road because he'd parked a truck outside. And so he was a private, like, I guess, tradie. And as I drove past, going under the speed limit,

he walks out in front of my car, like to the side of the road and goes, like, slow down like that. And I drove past, and I was like, actually, you know what, fuck you. And I slammed on the anchors, put it in reverse, and backed up. And I rolled down my window. And I said, and I rolled down the window. I said, are you a cop? And he goes, no, I'm doing some work in here.

And I said, then shut the fuck up. And drove off. You did not. He did not. He did not. He was so hot. And Hannah was in the passenger seat and goes, Dan, you have been grumpy this week.

What's wrong? And I was like, I'm sick of people being like, I wasn't doing anything wrong. He's taking the piss. Yeah. Just piss off. It's no idea of business. That's so funny.

He's probably like exerting his authority and it absolutely got told me to go. And it wasn't like it was a council where it works because he has the right to tell me to slow down. I guess. But he was just doing some work in someone's backyard. Fuck up. Don't tell me to slow down in my Kia. It reminds him Ross in friends when he goes, you can't see it.

Yeah, yeah, less. Bring it down. I would have done the same thing. I had a bad day, I think. And Adrian would have been mortified. Like, I'm not yell at people in public. Because Adrian thinks, because I will always have confrontations in public, Adrian's like, yeah, all well and good for you to do it.

But I'm the guy. So they're not going to throw a punch at you. They're going to fight me. True. I'm like, yeah, great. I never forgot. this uh the first probably running with road rage we're on our way to nana's house for dinner and i would have been maybe 10 brother might have been 8 and someone swerved in front and cut dad off

and mum was in the passenger scene she reached over and slammed the horn on and then this dude just rips his car sideways and gets out and just went mental at dad thinking that dad had done it and mum's trying to be like sorry sorry it was me whatever he just wasn't having a barrow and dad just took the verbal beating from this guy and we're just sitting in the back just like, oh, like as kids, like what the hell and eventually got in his car and then mom's like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry John, sorry John.

Do you guys ever use the horn? Oh, so my wife calls it an educational tool. She's like, you should have used the educational tool there. And I was like, yeah. I love the horn, but Adrian never uses the horn. So I'm always reaching across when he's driving to beep the horn because he's too much of a pussy to use. You know, like, Southeast Asian countries or a lot of Asian countries

They just use their horn for like, it's just the thing they use. It's like indicator. They use it more. And so we don't use it enough in New Zealand. Agree. You don't. There he is now. Yeah.

He who shall not use the horn. Yeah, yeah, Mr. Anti-horn. Still not wearing his new fucking clothes. Oh, yeah. There's two tops folded in a fucking David Jones bag at home and he still hasn't even hung them. Yeah, but he's saving them. Because once you wear them, they're not really like as new and fun. We spend all this money.

One of them is a Hugo boss top. That was above the budget and I said you need to get it. He might be saving it for a lovely date night or something. Which I've booked tonight, by the way. Because you know what? I will say, unless this isn't how your husband feels at all, but if I buy a new top and then I wear it to work first, it doesn't feel as special.

I'm like waiting. So he doesn't think we're special to see it. He doesn't go anywhere but work. I'm waiting for like a Saturday night. We're all going out with like family with like friends and stuff. And I'm going to wear that shirt. We don't have those. We have no life.

After I've worn it out a couple of times to special things, then I might relegate it to a weight. You've got to get the cost per way down. I got this T-shirt yesterday. I got this T-shirt yesterday. I thought, I'm going to wear it for my friends Clinton Ash because I value their friendship. Thank you so much, darling.

Appreciate that. But I won't anymore. Well, I actually said something nice. I said you look lovely when you stepped out of the car. I like the half the collars red and half the collars white. That's a cool. The Little Samulton's colors, baby. I don't love the blue and white HP brand.

but I mean it's not really your choice is that and shell drills oil in the ocean and you know like what are we doing here we're saying well we like the shirt we don't like you're wearing but I don't I've got no brands that I don't think that's your colour it is though it's a lovely colour on me have you done your colours have you done your colour wheel

no I don't need to yellow is not my colour you should you know what you should suck my dick well get it out and show us imagine I'll have a look I love that you're like What was that break with you today? Big secret you found out about your best mates

Ash London Yeah So there we go Oh well This was on sale at Rebel Sport If you're a Lewis Hamilton fan It was down from $140 to 60 Wow

60 yeah And they had the NRL jerseys Clint I was going to text you They had like this last season The Warriors ones heavily discounted Yeah because I guess the seasons are And they're new ones are coming I was going to buy one

But then I'll look like I'm an old fan, right? Like a bad fan because I've brought their shitty jersey. Their WhatsApp groups just messaged me. Oh, yeah. It's like they know we're talking about them. What have they said? They've got eyes everywhere.

Atamaria Ward, Tiditifano. Is anyone home and could safely store a couple of packages delivered to 20 Ward this morning? Halloween costume. That's cute. Yeah, I'll say you my mum will get that. Oh, that's nice.

Mom's home at number... What number am I? 69. Hey? Do you know, Dan didn't buy a number. number 69, like the townhouse, because he, of the number, because it was rude. So we brought off the plans and then we had the choice between number 67 or 69.

Lowell, both identical houses, identical. You just take 67. Yeah, we took 67. Of course you would. I would say 69 had a slightly bigger front yard, very slightly. You take 69. Yeah, no. 100%.

It was like not to the point where it would add value, I don't think. It was like slightly, we're talking like a townhouse. So it was, like, maybe a metre squared bigger. A metre square and it's no extra money. All you got to do is take an immature number. No, I think I'd take 67 from me. You're saying, 67. No, I would have taken like, anal street.

If a man that I got a bigger bag. Ainal street. I don't care. Yeah, but it's... Anil street. How often? Ainal Avenue. 69 anal avenues.

He'd love it. He'd get that bloody tattooed on his two. Anal passage Yeah, how often Are you writing down your address And if you're doing it, are you doing it online? Yeah, but then you have to go I'll come over where at number 69

Yeah, who cares? And then everyone's going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, Yeah, I've heard that gag about fucking 20 million times because I live at number 69 Yeah, but you're like, do you go my front yard though? Look at that extra one square meter Who's laughing now, bitches? Yeah

The free coffee is coming today Because I ordered as a treaty iced coffee with milk You are filthy I'm a filthy slut and I can't be stopped And it's all I can think about Because everyone gets hot coffees, idiots By the time I get here, they're cold You belong in my next door neighbour 69

Maybe I do Maybe I love it Maybe I can't get enough of it You know actually I looked after the lady Who lives next door to us And in number 69 She ended up buying it She looked after her real good

I looked after her goldfish And it died while she was away Shut up, did you just replace it with another goldfish? No, I called her and she said put it in the fridge, so I wrapped it in some tissue and put it in the freezer. Which I said was the dumbest thing ever, because he wrapped it in tissue, which means in the freezer. Exactly, when she peels it.

You should have put it in like baking paper, parchment paper. I think she never said anything about it sticking to it. Clad wrap, put it in a Ziploc bag. Yeah, but I actually still stand by the fact it was her fault because the first day I went in to feed it, It was looking a bit lopsided then Yeah And so Hannah said give it a...

No, no Meg told me to feed it a pee Apparently that fixes it So I gave it a pee next day dead Boom Pea allergy Hmm Sounds like you did kill it Sounds like it

Does Dan always have that much Upper lip hair? No I'm just trying a little bit of something something I like it Do you? How did I just notice? He's been growing up for weeks That's so mean you've only just noticed

Shut up Clint Now that's always power playing me He's been trying his hardest No I like it He's getting a run up to Movember. Oh, I can beat you in November if I wanted to. Okay, let's play, I erase you. I challenge you to a module.

I'm not scared, I'll do it. Yeah, I recommend between you and your moustache and Meg's chin hair. We could have a full face of hair. Four of three of us. Meg knows about it. I love it. She knows. Oh, well.

We'll end on that then. Love you guys. Below the belt gag on Meg, who can't defend herself. We can't, we can't, anyway, see you. Why can't you first? finish your Meg. Is that what you're going to say? No, I wasn't going to say that.

I was going to say, that's a good place to finish. Okay. On your face. Oh. It's a shame. Bye. Took it to the gutter. Rover.

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