The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS choco-lottery round 2

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. This is the OnlyFans podcast with Clint Meg and Dan. It's not meant to be as explicit as the actual Onlyfans, but most of the time it is. Welcome to the Only Fans, Clint Dan and Ash London. Hello! We managed to chain her to the desk this morning. I know. You missed the last two.

Oh, yeah. Well, kids, we've been so busy with all the hit-to-spot rehearsals and yada, yada, yada. There's a lot going on. People might not know I also do another radio show on another station. what's happening and you also do your podcast as well and I do my podcast and also you get sensitive to making mistakes and us making fun of you and then you walked out one yeah no because we were in it we were on a time limit to do those fucking an ounce of reads and usually I do it perfectly and you two fuck around and Dan

isn't good at reading went under pressure out hey look I'll be the first to say that's a sensitive issue you're in a proper reading class weren't you no I wasn't I was a terrible reader no but what was the class you're in Oh no, that was a maths for special maths class Yeah, like a booster math class I was sitting next to a guy and he used to go Who? Never got the answer right, isn't you?

And I'll tell you what, he was smarter than me So that's saying something But look how far you've come babes True Not on maths, I think I've gone backwards Since then See, I had to go to an interview And I haven't got time for this

So I walked out And the world kept spinning, guys You don't need me I'm only feeling anyway I'm a ring in Clint was sorry He was like oh my God Is she okay

I'm nervous, I've hurt her feelings. I was like, Clint, shut her, who cares? You don't know me very well if you think I would get legitimately upset by pretty much anything you can say. And I think Ash knows me well. I'd have to know that I would not do that. He was like, oh, I'm so nervous. I was like, Ash is just like, I got shit to do it and I don't have time for this. She's just, we're at that age, similar age where it's just kind of like, eh, my time is more valuable than this shit.

He called Jamie his wife. He's like, I'm scared. Maybe we've been happy to talk to. I did one of two things, Ash. So you've got a, it's a multi-choice. Okay. You either get that, or I said, I need to cut you.

Webgill Bella, can we turn that into a video and title it Ash's first walkout? It only took us two months. Yeah, of course that's what you do. And also, as a content, brain myself, the correct choice. Yeah, so that video is coming out probably later today. That's what I'd actually said. Did I say any sea words?

Yeah, I don't think so. Okay, almost I didn't say sea word, because my mum doesn't know I say that word. Oh, does it? Sorry. Oh, my Jesus. Dad, that's disgusting. You're in front of a microphone.

Don't blame me. What's the worst? moment you've had on radio. Like when a caller will call up and like say something like really personal, very, like, not inappropriate, but not the kind of thing that you should be sharing with millions of, and then you have to like respect the caller and not just like cut them off, but also make it clear to the listeners that you didn't know that were going to say that. That is, because that's so out of your hands.

Yeah. Yeah, true. But I think in Australia you have the dump button, right? We've got seven seconds. So I don't ever get to wait. If you've got, if Clint was on the buttons, you'd be fine. But sometimes people, like, if you're with someone who isn't a very experienced panel op, they may get a bit like, and forget to dump it or not dump it correctly.

Seven's a long time, though, if someone says something here, one, two, three, three, would you dump it or would you? It's normally the time where you're looking at each other going, is that worth dumping, I suppose? But by the time they've said it, you can't reverse it here. Yeah, it's done. Oh, no, you can't hear we've never had a dump. A good dumper, a good dumper, a good panelop in Australia would be like, okay, I've got seven seconds. to rewind, go back in time, cut it when I need to cut it and keep the break going.

Find someone's natural finishing. Cut it and keep talking and pretend it never happened. Wow, that's a lot to think about. Whereas someone bad would just dump the show and then often like a PSA or come up, oops, someone said something naughty, so we've had to dump the show. We'll be back after this ad break.

Oh, that'd be me. And then the show would never come back. I don't know how to bring it back. Sometimes I've known people who you've worked with a panel that you didn't trust or like there isn't an agreement over where it should be dumped and it's in the moment and people look into like,

no, we're fine and if you really want to dump then you just start going fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and then they have to dump it. Because the person who didn't say it's like, it's fine. The person who did say it's like, well it's my career and not yours. It's not me. I'll get cancelled. Dump it, yeah, yeah. What's your worst thing, Dan? We've talked about it before when we called someone on live on radio

and they were like a celebrity person in New Zealand to ask them, we were talking about what's the difference between a crumpet and a muffin, Which is a stupid thing to be doing Wasn't that a pancake and a pikelet? No, it was a crumpet and something actually It was definitely a crumpet and something It's just two things that are like

There's almost no different And they were like, you know, no, this person So we called them I won't say the name because And it was live on here They answered And they were like What's the difference?

And they were like I've just found out My father's just passed away Live on here But what is it? What do you need? What do you need? And they're like, don't worry about it

Don't worry about it. It's just the difference I would have never asked. It's just a different, like, we'll just leave it, just hang up. And then she was like, no, just ask me what you want. And they said, what's the difference between a crumpet and a muffin? And she went, no, it doesn't actually matter. There's a fucking lot of difference between a crumpet and a muffin.

I know, it wasn't that. It was something like that. I think it was pancake and pieclut. Maybe a cruffin and a muffin. You know the other thing? I used to do a producer show. I'll say it was Robert and John who on The Rock. And it was a great show, one of the most successful drive shows.

John O'Rye. John O'Rye, before he was with Jono and Ben, he was with Robert and Jono. Who's Robin? Robert is Robert Taylor. He's a very legendary broadcaster. He's on the sound. He's the tall guy.

Yeah, and we used to do a segment called Wind Up Your Wife. Again, very famous segment in New Zealand where we'd each week on a Wednesday, wind up your wife Wednesday, we'd call, usually it was someone's wife, that's where the name came from, and we'd wind them up. And it'd be the husband that would call up

and be like, oh, my wife, my wife, miss those, you know. But it expanded beyond that over the ESA. And so there was this one day, it was during exam time, and this guy called up and dobed in his best mate, who he found out had cheated in one of the exams. And we called him, and from the NZTA, whatever, I mean, New Zealand, like, education, whatever it was. I was like the Land Transport.

That should have been his first time. Whatever, I don't know. And said that we'd found out he was cheating, and we're going to call his parents. Okay, it was live on here. and he started crying and then hung up the phone and then so we went off here

and we were like trying to call it because he was crying you don't know what people will do in this situation and we couldn't get hold of him we were trying to call we had like people calling him calling his parents to like find out

and then like it took like hours before we could get hold of him again he was fine he was fine he just hung up and didn't want to you know but like there was this time for that couple of hours you feel like we have ruined his life and if you know John and Robert

they're like the most caring people you'll ever meet And, you know, it was just a bit of a gag, but unfortunately. It's going to be so careful with the old gags, eh, when they're alive. Yeah, no, I don't, like, we just, I can't do it any pranking. I just, well, you know me. I'm like, what's how my, look at sad? The whole premise was you'd wind them up, though, and then hopefully they'd get angry.

But then at the end, you'd bother you, you'd be, you got 500 bucks, thanks to Novus or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. But you guys are real gun shy as well, and probably rightly. So after, it was the queen call, or the nurse. The nurse ended up handing the phone to, was it? Yeah, it was a duo. on a night radio and Princess Catherine

who just had a first baby and they thought it'd be funny to call the hospital pretend to be the queen thinking in no universe we're ever going to get through and they ended up getting through to like her private

like the last nurse before the four levels before they handed to the new mum and Kate and it went to air and they're all like high-fiving that was amazing that was amazing

that was amazing and then the nurse committed suicide now she had made attempts on her life before so like horrible stuff but left a note saying she blamed which is you know I think very very unfair of the nurse to do that but lots of lessons were learned from radio in Australia after that

what happened to them to those hosts so the female left radio and the male's still in radio all right but they would they stepped down for a while eh I think they were taken off air for a while but just and the company probably should have protected them more and but everyone chose to wipe their hands of it of course and it scarred us all forever And I think the time that we did that other wind-up your wife thing that I was talking about just before was a similar time to when that all happened in Australia

and so there was a real lot of, you know, it was scary at the time. What about the Hold Your Wii for Wii? Remember that like the Nintendo Wii? When that first came out, there was a radio show that did Hold Your Wii for a Nintendo Wii. And these people held their Wii, and maybe it was also in 5 grand, or I don't know why, but I assume there must have been cash because some people held their Wii for so long

that it's actually like, well, They killed one of the contestants. They died. They died from it. And I was like, nah, that's bullshit. And I googled it. And they talked about a radio station where somebody died because when you're holding it that long, things can happen and burst and whatever else. I don't know.

And they got some infection or whatever, and they died from it. You Google it and it'll come up. I'm not sure if it was a UK radio station. But it's one of those ones where you think, oh, like harmless fun. Hold your Wii, win a Nintendo Wii. We last one max in that show. Well, we, we, the whole show, because we drink so much water. So much water.

Here's another one I've rumour I've heard about Australian radio You can correct me if I'm wrong There was a guy maybe 10 years ago Known as Trough boy I don't know this one Ah Troth

He died trough Because he used to go in lying urinals And he got poisoned from urine once and died I've never heard of that in my life I reckon someone's pulling your leg bags Okay Yeah that's Troth boy

Trough boy Mike was he did he work on the station Or I think he was like a producer And yeah I don't know No I think it was just It was just an urban legend kind of thing

But I think he was just a bloke And it was just like his fetish Oh so you've heard of Troughboy I've heard of Tross Boy definitely yeah And he like go around festivals and concerts And just line for your own And he died didn't he? I didn't know he died

The radio station was in California KDND contest called Hold You Wee for a We They drank large amounts of water Without urinating to try to win the console And during the contest A 28 year old mother of three for strange diet of water intoxication. Who even knew that could happen?

That is rough going. Yeah. Really rough going. Yuck, yuck, yuck. And that's why when we throw out ideas, oh, we could do this? And then he wants to go, could someone die or could, you know, something tear away.

And then you go, well, there's a 1% chance that maybe, and then the whole promo gets canned. All right, baby, I'm going to go to a chocolate lottery, close your eyes. But then you're going to throw it to me, and I'm going to be able to catch it. No, no, she's going to eat it. Oh, right. Oh, we've got to play the intro. Okay.

We've got an intro. I love an intro. Is it a picnic? Or is it a twirl? You'll be the judge. Let's give it a world. It's the edges chocolate looterie. Carl's spelled lottery with two o's and one T.

That makes me believe that we're safe in our jobs. We can't do lottery. You can't go. You can't have spelled that wrong. He means lottery. Yeah, Grammley didn't save my ass on that when he usually gets most things. you're going to try and get a, just before we start this, an AI version to do our jobs tomorrow.

Remember we're thinking about doing that, like an AI radio show. Yeah, he used to give that a go. More work for Carver, there you go, thanks, that. No, he just needs to go radio show into AI. Yeah, but it needs to, like, plug our, like, hours of our audio into it so can learn our voices. He pulled a choir out of his ass this week. That'll be easy. Yeah, and then I put them back in, too.

If we can learn our voice, it's great. Otherwise, if not, you can just try and give it our personality so we can hear what a three-person show similar to us would sound like with AI. But it'd be great if it could learn our voices. Yeah, that'd be great, wouldn't I? Can I eat the chocolate now? Because I'm holding it in my hands,

salivating at the thought of how you know of... Do one now, and then we'll do a duo and see if you can pick both chocolates. Two at once. Okay, let's do it now. I've got to spit it out, though. I can't be having two chocolate. Okay, close your eyes, Dole?

Okay, Dan, Clint's on closing... Am I doing at the same time? No, just me this time. Fuck. You've already had seven chocolates. Dan, you're lucky there's even any left to play. This fucking... Wait, weren't those are chocolates for the producers?

I've got another bag. Oh, perfect again. Okay, close your ass, go. I've had nine. Fung, yeah, saliva much. Could be, again, kind of soft, like a boosty, but then I'm thinking the boostie had a bit of a crunch, and that one doesn't.

So I'm going to go. Come on. Soft texture, kind of mushy. I'm going to go like a cherry ripe. You fucking legend. Yeah. Come on, you good bastard, you fucking good bastard. Oh, man.

Next, okay, now you get another one out and you see if you can pick two at two at the same time. Okay, here we go. Okay, I've got to turn your marks up. Okay. Oh, come on here. Here we go. Wait, when he's starting?

Now, here we go. Oh yeah Okay god Because the problem is then I'm unsure If like I'm trying to time the crunch Because I'm like the whispery thing I'm going I think you've both gone the same chocolate bar

I think you both One's definitely got a picnic I need to see the box What are the other ones? You got picnic cherry ripe Crunchy Moro boost dairy milk Turkish delight Twirl

Caram milk Oh, fuck I'm going to go Crunchy and picnic Come on He's got it He's the best at it Unbeatable

Unbeatable Get it on his headstone when he dies Could pick a favourites from the sound What you didn't see, Clint, is Is Ash spitting out her chocolate Like she was tasting a fine wine Into a spittoon

Because I don't know what But that breakfast bowl next to it is just full of chewed-up chocolate. Yeah, because I've got to go to the gym today, and it's just undoes all the gym. Let me count one, two, four, five. Yeah, I'm getting stronger too, and I'm actually getting more addicted to the gym because I'm actually really seeing the increase. Ten chocolates. Let's see how many calories in each chocolate.

Yeah, go on. So serving is, so serving for package is ten. So two pieces is one serving. So you've had five serving. So you've had 65 serving. grams of sugar. In two, or across the 10? Across the 10? And you've

had 1,000 kilojoules. Thousand kilojoules, that sounds cool. How many calories are in a kilojure? So that's sugar, so the 65 grams of sugar, that's like you're having almost two cans of Coke, full sugar. Or 12 teaspoons of sugar. 12 teaspoons of sugar.

You're going to be on that jimble-drub tomorrow. That's a lot of sugar. See, that doesn't seem like a lot to me. What? Not like eating all those chocolates That'll be my lunch That's my lunch So we had 240 calories So you've had like a

If you wanted to be in a deficit That's a quarter A fifth of your daily day 240 calories for 10 chocolates That's not bad That's not bad at all I might as well have had a cracker There's nothing

I got it wrong Oh sorry no I got that wrong It's actually Um 12,000 Yeah it's double it It's fine darling Let yourself live a little bit

I wonder as well You know how like You get on the treadmill or I like the assault bike or something and this is the thing that gets me going I'll be on a rowing machine and tell me how many calories I'll burn give the exalt bike

I've been on for the 10 minutes and they'd be like you burned 74 calories Yeah no I never looked at that man Oh my god So then you realise That whole time I haven't even burnt

Half a chocolate bar on the assault bike And then it makes you not want to touch anything But I'm like How many calories am I just burning Just existing? So many My aura ring tells me Yeah because I'm like

So within an hour If I'm doing no exercise I'm just sitting here Doing a show How many calories are My burning. And also when you're anxious and your heart beats faster, that's burning calories. Sometimes when you think, I should be, I should be negative 10 kilos.

Sometimes I'm going to go to the gym after like a hard show because I've been thinking so much in the show that I'm like, oh, that's burnt enough. What shows are you doing that? That's me. All the shows, all the shows carrying all fucking fat ass. On those shoulders. Yeah, I got you. You and have me on your shoulders and be farting all down your neck. Yeah, wow, that's another calorie burner right there.

Me having to block that out. That's bullshit, though. I see those studies talking about how many calories you can burn farting. I was like, that can't be true. When you look at the assault bike and you think, oh, only because think of the heart health. When your heart rate's going up, that's making your heart so much more resilient and so much stronger.

I listen to some cardio, vascular doctor or whatever, and he was talking about the best thing you can do isn't getting on a treadmill for like an hour. Best thing you can do is the four and one, and you do it four times. So you do four minutes of vigorous exercise on whatever it is to a point where you're not exorient. forced it and you feel like you're going to die, but you're going, like, 80% so that you couldn't

have a conversation or you'd struggle to have a conversation with someone. You do four minutes of that, and then you have a one minute chill, get all your energy back. And then just do that four times. That's 20 minutes. He's like, that is going to be better for you than anything else. Sure, that's why interval training is so good. Your heart rate's going up and holding it, and then you stop, bring it back down again. 4-1, 4-1, 4-1.

I just burnt 1,500 calories last night, about 9 p.m. Did you? Furiously masturbating. Yes. For three minutes. What was that it doing? Was she having a girl's not? She went out, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was swimming. Anyway, you're sexual deviant. Can you not just say I was furious? Why can't you just say masturbating? Because you 1,200 calories would need to be furious masturbating, not just like chintchol masturbating. I don't think I've ever furiously masturbated in my life. Like angry masturbating. I would use no calories masturbate because it's just like,

zzz. No part of my body is moving. Meanwhile, Dan's booking him with a physio to get his wrist fixed again. Tennis elbow back. He's got his loyalty card, clicking another one, free session next week. I have a friend of mine who is a physio. Oh, God, here we go. And this is years and years ago.

And she had a teenage client come in with his mom. He's got these really sore elbow. And it's happening when he's playing football. And the mom had to take a call. It is a mumble up. He's like, I've got to level with you. It's not hurting when I play football. It's only hurting when I wank.

It's like, okay, show me the action. He like, put his hand. And he's like, okay, now I know where to this. No way. She had to, like, he had to mimic when he said to hurt when he plays tennis or something. She just said to say, hold your elbow in the, okay, that's, okay, okay, now. And this is the exercises you really need to do. Because how often in football are you running and doing that?

Yeah. Whoa. So he hadn't heard it from wanking, but the pain was coming when he was wanking. But he said, I was when I blew football. What is he just used his other hand? I don't know. Didn't ask, I wasn't there. Aren't you ambidextrous when you're doing that?

Nah, it always feels real, way too weird. You can't get the right... What happens when your right arm starts fatiguing Dan? Why are you looking at me like I'm a professional? I don't know, Clint. Also, Dan is having more sex than all of us combined. We all know this. You know what?

I actually can't remember the last time I did in a lone solo session, to be honest, Clinton. To be honest. To be honest. Oh, he sounds like he's lying. because he's overselling the truth. Honestly, I seriously can't remember. Good for you, Daniel. Although I can't remember what I did yesterday sometimes.

He's probably beating his meat. He doesn't remember. He's playing the old skin flute. Yeah. No, I don't do that. Clint's the only one that does that. Why do you always do band practice with the boss? No, Ash is doing band practice with the boss.

Oh, she definitely is, but that's because she's married to him. Thanks, guys. Bye. I'll get Dan. managed to clean it up next time.