The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS Dan flicks bean

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Welcome to the podcast that should have been cancelled before it even started. This is Clint Beggin' Dan's OnlyFans. Podcast, that is. Alright. Welcome to the OnlyFans, guys. This is going to be the last one for a little wee while, I'm sorry. Because we're one of the smarty pants that ended up getting Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday off

between Easter long weekend and Anzac long weekend. Yes, that's right, Clint. I don't like how you say the smart people, because I just think it's probably more of the lazy people that get it off. The ones that are like, oh, I see an opportunity to not be here. Whereas all the diggers, all the hard workers are sticking around doing those three days in between. Funny how you think digger operators is your go-to example for the hard workers. No, a digger is like another word for

I guess, I think like the return serviceman. You'd say that like when they were in the trenches, you know, they were the diggers. I was going to say, arguably I feel my old man did a bit of excavation and digger work. He's pretty handy on an old digger.

I think arguably they don't work very hard because they just sit down and they get to pull levers and do all that cool shit when you're a kid you'd love doing in the sandpit. Like they're not out there moving it physically with their hands and pushing wheelbarrows. Yeah, but stuff that you liked as a kid generally is not good as an adult. Go on.

Like, for instance, when I was a kid, there was stuff that I would watch my mum doing that I'd be like, oh, that's cool. But then when you're an adult, like my son, George, he that I would watch my mum doing that I'd be like, oh, that's cool. But then when you're in it, like my son, George, he's 14 months old. The coolest thing ever is me vacuuming. Fuck, I hate vacuuming as an adult.

I don't mind it. You know, like I did a bit of vacuuming when I was a teenager. I find vacuuming quite, I find it very, quite satisfying of all the chores. Same.

I would do. It's the easiest of, but it's still not, you don't go, oh, I'm looking forward to the vacuuming. I've never said that. No, but if you were like, all right, everyone pick a chore, I'd always go vacuuming first.

Yeah. And last, I think, would be folding and putting away. Oh, no, because I can watch a movie while I'm folding and washing. I feel like I got the best chore as a kid. And the thing is, I don't even see it as a chore now, but my mum loved it. I would make dinner once a week, maybe even twice a week sort of thing. And I was old enough, maybe 10 or 12, old enough to be able to actually make something

and I really tried and I did baking for the family. And that was my chore and I was like this is the fucking best. I hate, my biggest thing is cooking. I hate it. I hate, hate, hate, hate cooking. You should put on like Spanish music. We put on Spanish instrumental and then you

get a glass of wine. Pretend you've got a show. Pretend you talked to the window. Pretend you've got a show. I just get stressed because like. Legs on acid just cooking. I think it's my ADHD. I'd be interested to know if anyone else who's got ADHD feels the same. But I just can't for whatever reason.

Like, because you know how a lot of dishes it takes a bit of multitasking with cooking. So you'll be cooking the rice. You'll be maybe browning off some beef. Brilliant. I was thinking, where are we going with this meal? And then you might be sautéing some onion. I've got beef, rice and onion for dinner tonight, Clint. No, there's three parts of a lovely meal.

What's the whole meal? You know what you should? Mignon. A beef mignon. You don't cook beef, I don't think. A chicken mignon. A mignon. Is a beef mignon You don't cook beef I don't think A chicken mignon A mignon Is a beef mignon Like raw beef

Well it's Definitely not Mince onions And rice Oh fuck I don't care All I'm saying is I'm bad at it

What's the raw one Tartare That's tartare The mignon is just Like a beautiful Cooky steak With butter on top Oh exactly

What you've got down there Is I think you just need tacos And chop up some salsa And then you've got yourself a beef onion. Yeah, well, next time I'll get you over, Gordon Ramsay,

to help me out. Or a burrito. I'm just saying that it stresses me out. The other, last night I cooked, it was last night, the night before,

and I threw a colander across the room. A colander? What's that? A colander? Was it a colander and a colander like together?

So you can see the date on the hole? It's my day to cook! Fuck it. Threw it across the room. No, colander, because I was draining off some bean. I was draining off a bean. One bean.

Dan needs to cook for us one day, Clay, because this is, what is, do you subscribe? Is there like an innuendo? No, I was draining. You know, so some beans. I said beans, but it was a collective. Some beans. One bean. Some beans.

Okay, and I was draining them off and I was rinsing them because Hannah's always like, rinse everything. Do you flick them into the colander? What are you doing? I was flicking. I don't know. I'll show you how I flick a bean later. We did that on air once.

We did it. We like flicked the bean. That was when Dan first began. That was one of my first ideas. It was a coffee bean and we'd try and flick it into a cup. Flick it into a bucket. Yeah. That was when Dan first began. That was one of my first ideas. It was a coffee bean and we'd try and flick it into a cup. Flick it into a bucket. Yeah.

It was quite visual but you would see you could flick the bean the best. Okay, so what you were... Me was the best at it, ironically. You're draining the bean. Yeah. And then for some reason

the colander was leaking. It's supposed to leak. It's got holes in it. You fucking idiot. That's how you drain your pasta. Dan's like, this bowl. You're such an idiot sometimes, but I love you for it. How the fuck did you get second in the carrot cake competition?

Because, Clint, you lost to that. And where were you in the IQ test? I was like, this has got a fucking lot of holes in it. Millions of the fucking thing. Hannah, you lost to the guy who put a teaspoon and a half of sugar in a cake. I'm trying to fry off this bean. No,

so it was leaking from the wrong parts. So it was a special colander that has holes at the bottom and then it's got holes up the side. But I was trying

to keep the beans, like wash the bean whilst rinsing it and it wasn't doing it. No, Daniel, that's a colander. Chefs would know what I'm talking about.

No one knows what you're talking about. And it was leaking and I took this piece of shit colander, I took the beans out and threw it across the room, and Hannah said, are you all right? And I said, yeah. And I just threw it into the sink. And what were you making for dinner with bean?

Curry. Bean curry. Like it was a yellow curry. It had bean, broccoli, other stuff in there. But it was yellow curry. Oh my God, what's happening? I've got a secret. But I can't tell you guys until we get back from holiday.

What do you mean? Is it a secret I will like? You will love it. Dan will not. Which is nice. No, I'll love it. You will love it. Is it something that you were doing that I'll be jealous of?

I sent you the secret and I was pregnant. You left me. So can we just make, can we just, that's not what's happening. You're not leaving me. No, no, no. I think I'm going to require five days of the OnlyFans podcast, I think, to execute. I think it'll be like what we call on radio,

like a little story arc that's going to run across the whole week on OnlyFans. You have to give us a clue. It'll kind of live on here a little bit, but more off here than on. Oh, please be something to do with Guess the Fart. Because that was something I would love and that's something Dan would hate. Oh, God, is he going on like a full protein diet next month? He's going detox.

He's like, I'm detoxing. He's going keto. That's all I'm going to say. But money has been spent. Things have been made. And it's like it's been bubbling away under the surface for a number of weeks now. Quite a while.

Does Carl know about this, Producer Carl? I'm quite invested. Yeah. Probably too invested, actually, to be honest. He's even spent some of his own money. Why would I not like it? Well, you might. I just think Meg's going to enjoy it more than you.

You might enjoy it. I'm so excited. I'm not going to sleep for two weeks. I've got insomnia anyway. But I'm thinking, yeah, we might start it like Monday when we get back, and then we'll say what it is, and then we're going to work towards it because there's a bit of heavy lifting involved. I think Meg will be very open to helping.

Dan, you don't have to do too much. But it sounds like it's a joke on me. No. Do you know what it is? Oh, I wish I did. No, I love a surprise. I can't wait. It's going to be fun.

I'm really looking forward to it. I'm also now looking forward to it. Fuck. Does it involve a calendar? Colander. You still don't fucking say it. Let's finish with Guess the Fart. Here we go.

Guess the fart that'll leave you with teary eyes. Guess the fart, what's that smell? A stinky mystery for us to unveil. Guess the fart. Because it's the last one, should we involve the whole team? Yeah. Everybody in.

Oh my goodness. Everybody in. Because it'll make it harder to see who was closest. Bella has done guess the fart in your absence. Don't be embarrassed to fart in front of her.

I'm going to fart in front of hot weeb girl Bella. Everybody. Yeah, everybody. Such a fucking insult when you say that. That's a lovely thing to say to Bella.

No, sorry. To me. It's not to me. I'm making it about me, Clint. Jesus. We're doing Guess the Fart. You don't have to be here, Bella. He doesn't want you to be here

because you're too hot to experience this, apparently. Am I guessing a fart again? Yes. No, Bella did it the week that you were away. She loves farts. Yeah, you wouldn't find her hot

after you were here. Okay, here we go. Okay, you know what, Dan? You get the honors. Just begin. Okay, how are you feeling today? Just a bit of What's on deck? Oh, he's not sure So I'm going to go

What did you see in the food we got given? Did you have any pie? I had half a pie Can of tuna as well But I wouldn't think it would have digested yet That was only like 10 minutes ago So I'm going to go Feels like I'm going to have to really try today You know, sometimes it's 10 minutes ago. So I'm going to go. Feels like I'm going to have to really try today.

You know, sometimes it's like it's right there. I'm going to go. Fuck, that's a good one. Yeah. Alright. Fucking hell. I think it might be like a Fuck, has he got a cow up there?

Yeah, like a bit of a burst at the end. I like that. It's a good guess I reckon it's going to be wet Like Fucking hell He shat himself If he does that He shat himself

I've done those The cheeks sort of flap Things like that Bella's got another head of teller That we didn't know about That was good Bella I thought he had farted Okay

I'm going Operation Dumbo. All right, so we've got a couple of squeakers. Dan's is shorter. If it's a long squeaker, you win. Mine's a higher pitch too. And Nipia's long and then short. We've got a wet one from Bella. And I think I've just got a trumpety one.

What are we doing? We've covered all the bases here, really. Oh my God, I'm so tired. Okay, here he goes. Like he does every week, he puts the mic down to his ass. Dinky little bird. Carl! Carl takes it.

Oh, my God! He's the elephant! He did it! That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy!

That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy! It felt hot coming out. So I'm going to leave. Sorry, guys.

That's feral. That's actually feral, that is. I have had a bit of a crud guts the last couple of days. So I knew that wasn't going to be good for you guys. Anyway, it's the last thing we had to do, so. Okay. Have a good long weekend, guys. We're like at a park and you can go,

like a possum's died here somewhere. That's what's happened up your ass. I reckon a possum's climbed up there and died months ago. Joke's on these guys because all their shit's still in here, so they're going to have to come and grab it for you. And all your shit's in your pants by the smell of it. Okay, we'll see you in about 10 days after Anzac weekend. Thanks, guys.

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