The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS Dan's Discounts

Episode Date: April 13, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Buckle up, lower your standards and prepare to question everything. This is Clint, Meg and Dan's OnlyFans. Podcast, that is. Hey, welcome along to the OnlyFans, everybody. Appreciate you downloading this one. Dan's got a very, very special dedication before you get into it. Yes.

Wapping on about it. Well, no, I haven't wrapped on about it at all. In fact, I haven't mentioned it. In fact, this is news to me. And the annoying thing is Clint does this. He'll go, Dan's got a great one, and then I have to find one. And sure enough. You're the dedication guy.

This is going out to Shanae Finity. Shanae, Shanae Finity. Why should you have two Shanaes? Could they not think of any other middle name? I was just making sure I was pronouncing her name right because I like to pronounce perfectly. Shaunae, Shaunae. Yeah, but you said no differently the second time around.

Her name is Shaunae, just one Shaunae, Finity. So is it just one Shaunae, Shaunae? Is that her name? Shaunae, Finity. There it is. Okay. Like infinity. So it's Shaunae, Shaunae, Shaunae. Is her middle name it is. Okay. Like infinity. So it's Shawnee, Shawnee, Shawnee.

Is her middle name in? Shawnee infinity. I'll be meaning to talk about Shawnee for a few days, actually. She's always been trumped by another listener, sadly. Why? Sorry, Shawnee. Well, they've had, you know, more of a pressing issue. But Shawnee, I'm going to read it.

She drives into a Mazda Premise. It's a bit of a family movie, really. So she's obviously got a family car. Picture doesn't come to mind. She's got a photo of it on her post on our Edge podcast fam. She hasn't got an English screen, but she wants to know how to find the Edge. Oh, because it's a Jap import,

so it brings up all the other stations and stuff. You need a band expander. Yeah. She says, I'm south of Normandy and it's 97.2, but it doesn't go that high in my car. Does anyone know? What you need is a band expander. Well, Clint just said that four minutes ago.

Yes, exactly. She needs a band expander. Hold on. Are you sure you can go back and find that Clint's band expander? Yeah, but I feel like I said it. I was more. I'll tell you what she needs. Hold on.

A band expander. Oh, now I said that and Clint said it earlier. Pisses me off in a way. She's just zinging you. She's saving her best care for life. So there you go. This is going out to Sean A, Sean Afinity. Infinity.

Yeah. Oh, great. Oh, she'll love that. But she's already got that advice, to be fair. Are you sure it's not Sean Infinity? No, Sean A. Sean Afinity. But I will say this, Clint.

You know how you thought you were the first person to suggest it? There's 16 comments of other people saying, get a band expander. Yeah. Right, so we didn't really need to let him know now either. Yeah, no. I think Meg needs one of those. Don't you still?

You still can't get... No, have you seen my car recently? There's like guy, my husband, I don't think I need to say on the podcast actually. He ripped out the radio, but I've now just got like wires. So it looks like my car's been broken into. I got into it the other day and turned it on. And it goes, the Bluetooth device is ready to pair. Does anyone say that?

It's not Russian. The Bluetooth has been connected successfully. Who is that lady? There's a woman that comes on. She's in my house with like four different appliances. There's a woman that comes on. She goes, I can't.

Go on, do it. Just because meek's facing the wall. I can't do an accent like you, Clint. You're the accent guy. Well, I don't even know what the accent is. It's like a mixture of like... I think it's in Japanese, the thing. No, it feels like Vietnamese and Russian.

Yeah, she's nodding. She's turned her head. She does this when she's uncomfortable with the content we're doing. I turn on the car and she goes... She goes, She does. She's right. You're just saying what she says. But she says it like three times. She's right. You're just saying what she says.

But she says it like three times. She goes, And you're like, fuck up. And then she stops. Why does she say it three times? I get it. I need to Okay.

But she says it three times. Now, I don't know what that means. I'm guessing it's putting fucking stereo back into the car. No, that's definitely not the car. Hoyo. No, that's definitely not the words, Clint. Oh, God, we can't. Should we start again? Yeah, we've got to click it.

We've got to cut that. No, you can't. You're just saying what your radio says. That's not racist to say what it's saying. Well, I could have said it like this. Hoyo sakuto. Oh, but then it sounds a bit too Kiwi. Yeah. That's what I could have done.

Yeah, I get in the car and it goes, hoyo sakuto. You're not saying, like, mean or negative things in an accent. You're just saying what the sound is. You did. But Clint, you did do the accent. I didn't say mean things. She did say it's connected successfully. That's what she says.

I'm fucking bringing it in tomorrow. And when I play it, you'll be like, that was dead on. Yeah, I know. I know it might be dead on, Clint, but you can't do it. I can. It goes like this. The Bluetooth has connected successfully. Nailed it.

Yeah, I'm sure you have. You said I couldn't do it. You can do it. Thank you. But. Because some people think the accent thing is a little bit racist. I'm fine with it, if I'm honest. It's people that do get offended by you doing other accents

and I worry you'll get cancelled. That's all. I don't find it offensive. Hoyo sakato. I can't find anything translation that makes sense. Yeah, Producer Carl, you found it? No, I haven't. I'm just going to say I've really enjoyed working with you guys

and all the best with whatever happens after your cancellation I've heard some of your accents, mate Your hands aren't clean It's dead light It's like the Maori language When we pronounce it, we pronounce it Maori, not Maori Yeah, and we say Rotorua instead of Rotorua So how come when I'm saying like

Successfully Arigato gozaimasu, you know? Okay, I'm officially a forecast No, but when you say, when you speak in Japanese, you put a slight Japanese twang on your pronunciation because you have to or people don't understand what you're saying because you could be saying two completely different words because your pronunciation is off.

But you're not saying the accent. You're saying the pronunciation. Not racist. Like Māori, for instance, if I say taupo instead of taupa, I'm not putting on a Māori accent. I'm just pronouncing the word correctly. So you're saying if I'm speaking in Japanese words, but if I'm saying English words with a Japanese accent, gotcha.

That's when I think it becomes a murky situation. Murky, but I thought it was, say, racist, which is obviously a terrible thing, is if I am using someone's accent to belittle or minimise them or say something offensive. Yes. Yeah, but I'm not making fun of it. But you were saying it in a silly, funny way.

If nobody laughed, then it might have been fine. You were doing it to get a laugh. No, I was doing it to accurately reflect the sound that comes out of the hoverboard. Well, then there's the argument. Maybe you are. Are you okay? Well, hopefully, because this podcast is going out to public.

Meg's hoping it's... Should we start again? Meg's saying yes. I was like, no, there's some good gear there. What is that? What is these like scissoring things? She's doing Mr. Krabs Yeah

I thought she was doing chopsticks with her fingers That's what I thought she was doing as well I was like That's a shame Do we get the video footage here? Okay Anyway Meg I think you've had enough

Are we jump cutting? Can I I will say this. Today on the show, can I move things on slightly, just a little bit? Today on the show we talked about starting a band, and I think that's the next thing we're going to be doing. We do things on the show where we'll rest our hat on something big, you know, that we'll follow through, you know, and do day to day. We know each day we're going to be talking about X, Y, Z. I think the next one is us starting a band.

We haven't decided on the ins and outs, who's playing what, who's the lead singer, who's playing guitar, anything like that. But I thought, just to humour me, we could maybe just see who would be the best lead singer. On the podcast. And we just each sing something really quickly. Fuck, Dan, this is so...

You just wanted to show off your skills. You know that it's going to be you. I don't even want to go. This is fucking stupid. No, no, no, I don't even want to go. What you want me to sing in an audition to be the lead singer of a band? Well, I think that me...

Could be like if we go, right, we're going to arm wrestle whenever Wins gets to choose their instrument. Like you've just picked something that you're good at. Not that it's arm wrestling. That's not what I

mean. But like if Meg just picked something, Meg, what are you better than Dan at? How long you got? What am I better at Dan at?

Oh, keeping it a secret. How would we test that? Some of the secrets you've told me though, Meg. Doing the tease and not giving it away secret How would we test that? Some of the secrets you've told me though Meg Doing a tease and not giving it away

So if we did a competition like that Okay, I don't know how we judged that in a podcast The real reason I want to test it is I just want to see Meg sing The best she can do You know I suck Just humour us for a second because there's three of us in the band. Let's do this part.

Mama just killed a man. Put a gun against his head. Pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Simple. Very acapella. That's my turn done. So now me try and do what I just did. Can you play it again and I'll Maybe do it bit by bit

Can I sing with him? No, no, no, we'll go play Mama Mama Mama Just killed a man Just killed a man Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead

So Meg's not going to be the lead singer. We knew that beforehand, you stupid arsehole. I just need to get Clint away from the racial stuff. You're sort of acting as a smokescreen source. Thanks, guys.

The source is still lingering. She put so much effort into what she found. Honestly, mooking with boys is so dumb. Thank God I was raised with an older brother. Anyway, I have to go now because, believe it or not, I've got a mentor meeting so I can mentor other people who are joining the business. Fucking hell. Whoever gets clipped through the short straw.

Oh, God. Imagine that. What to do and not to do. They're like, please, please, please, please, please be. I'm Simon Barnett, Simon Barnett, Simon Barnett. And then Clint walks in. He'll be like, fuck. Oh, bugger.

Oh, well, you never know. I didn't sign up to it couldn't be give me two paper yeah well meg wouldn't be a very good mentor because she's gonna be out of here in two months myself but yeah no i was like two months should be gone and then what happens they're just like left in the lurch while Meg's off having a holiday. I don't know. Three or four months. I don't know. Show some wheezy, pimply little fucking freak out of university how to do radio.

I think maybe it wasn't. Yeah, I signed up to that program. I haven't got a mentor yet either, so cheers. Thank you. With a moustache. I'm going to a meeting by myself next. Perfect. Just to be thankful You haven't got Clint

Do you know who yours is yet? Nah I'm still three minutes Late for my training Not a good start Training Okay well speaking of which I have to go too Carl can you cut my bit out?

Yeah I'd love to Meg Anyone else need anything done Because they have to go early? Use your discretion Yeah great Thanks Do we trust Carl? Carl trust me I I believe a lot.

Carl's discretion button was fucked years ago. I want you to think like me and use discretion. Sorry guys, I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta meeting. That's thinking like Meg. Okay. Meg's actually got a second job she has to go to right now. Thank you, Clint.

Yes, I do. Meanwhile, what are you doing, Dan? Mentoring Oh bullshit No you're fucking Can you stop fleeing this No I don't know what I'm gonna do You going to the gym? Might go get a haircut

Oh dear Dan went Make a make a make Okay I've got to go Okay you need to hear this story Dan went and was like I'm gonna go get a haircut So he drove out of his way

Quite a way into this Fuck up fuck up fuck up You can't talk about this No you fucking can't talk about this Now do you want to hear? Yes No this is for off air quite a way into this bubble. Fuck up, fuck up, fuck up. You can't talk about this. No, you fucking can't talk about this. Now do you want to hear? No, this is for off air. So he drove out of his way all the way to the barber.

He's like, all right, because he knows they listen to the show and they're a big fan of Dan. And he goes, and the last two times he got a free haircut. As he pulled in, he went to walk in, and none of the guys who know him from the show were there working. So he got back in his car and drove off. Someone got a free fucking haircut. You fucking cheapskate. And that's like

you're wearing the sweatshirt that says LSKD. You went into the store the other day and you thought that they were going to give it for free. No, I didn't do that.

I went into the shop. She said she was a fan of the show and you were going oh, it's going to be free and then they show. Here we go. Might as well get

a couple of jumpers because this is going to be free because she's a listener of the show. Went up and she was like that'll be $210. No, but before that she said hey, I'm going to Brisbane.

Next time you're in Brisbane, I'll go to Adelaide. Yeah, next time you're in Adelaide, come into the LSKD store, we'll sort you out. She said it better than that. She had a weird stutter. Yeah, she said, and we'll sort you out with some free stuff. Dan's like, we're going to close my eyes open and we pretend we're in Adelaide right now.

We'll just do it now. You know what they say, open and we pretend we're in Adelaide right now. You know what they say, Takapuna in Auckland is the Adelaide of New Zealand. But it's not. Anyway, so Dan's going to try to swing by his barber and see if he's working today.

If Dan shows up with a fresh fade tomorrow, he was. I don't do it because of that. Don't worry. Don't let him edit that out, girl.

That one stays. Use him by discretion Alright great See you tomorrow guys This podcast brought to you by Tommy Gunn's Barber For all your barbering needs