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This is a podcast from Rover.
Come for the chat, stay for the trauma bonding.
This is Clint McGinn-Dan's Onlyfans.
Podcast, that is.
Hello, welcome to the Only Fans.
Clint Dan and Ash, London, everybody.
So I'm just finishing a mouthful of copper kettle chips.
Yeah, you guys were going to raided the vending machine.
Dan shouted me some chippies.
Thanks, mate, free chippies.
That was a good little.
And MEPI made me a coffee.
Yeah.
Now, Ash, I was just saying to Clint,
we don't really have anything.
for this only fan today, but he says
he's got a game. He's been playing
with his family. There's a game
my family and I made up.
And we've been playing it, the kids
are obsessed with it, and the categories always change.
What if you want to sell this one day to
in Milton Bradley? You won't be able
to now because it's out in the public
sphere. Okay, well it's
like the ABC game
and
we would pick a category and then
we all have to try and think of something that starts with
A in that category. And the last
person to think of something
gets a point against their names.
It's like golf.
They can remove an item of clothing.
Now we're talking.
I'm going to get my titties out.
Yeah.
Well, we don't do that without children.
Let's gang up on ash so we get to see her titties.
Okay?
Yeah, okay.
You'll be like, quick, come on, Dan.
I've got one for you.
I'll just text you the other answers.
So, okay.
Okay, so let's say
if I were saying
animated movies,
that's the game, right?
Yeah.
So then we go A, Aladdin.
And you've got to think of another movie that starts without anyone.
But whoever's last gets a point against their name.
Oh, um, uh, um, a dog's tail.
That's not a animated film.
A knight's tale.
Not animated.
A bug's life.
Yes, Dan, so Ashkin's the...
Fuck you, that's what I was thinking about.
Okay, now B, and then we've got to quickly go to B, and you're not allowed to pre-think of movies.
Is it the same category?
Now still animated movies, starting with B, B, B, B. B.
Buzz light ear
Fuck, no, he's a character
You can also do that
You could do animated characters
A bug's life
No, but that's A
You just said it
Bambi
Yes
Fuck
This now's me and you Dan
Beauty and the Beast
Oh yeah
Okay shame
Bambi
No now C
You're gonna move on cars
Cars 2
Car 3
Sorry Dan you already are
D
D
to deck
decks and boobies
That's not animated
I'll tell you that
And then so you pick
different categories every night
And it's the ABC game
I think there is a movie
But I don't know if it was called
Dragon Ball Z
And then you could even do like
Songs or Artist
So if you did an artist
And then we start at A
You got all the way through to Z
And if you can't think of anything
Or the last person to think of it
You get a mark against your name
And whoever has the least amount of marks
Generally Dad
Me wins
Because otherwise I'd have my tits out right now
Okay
So now let's play it for real
Okay
Artists that create music
Okay
Okay
A
Anastasia
Um Ashley Simpson
I'm gonna shame dance
You're Markies yours
No now B Benson
Borexar
Penda against you
Charlie X X
D
David Gitter
David
David Simpson
David
David Dallas
David Simpson
You fucking lose again
Elsa
Elsa
Elton John
You've come last
every single
France Ferdinand.
Ferry.
Fisher.
Georgia Lime.
Uh, grandma's mom.
You suck.
It's not good in the pressure situation.
We play this, like we play, I'm thinking of a person in our family.
It's always someone from Paul Patrol or, yeah, whatever, octanauts.
But he'll be like, I'm thinking of a person who's a boy and a captain and a polar bear.
Fucking out.
It's Captain Barnacom.
You're given too many, like, you can't, you can't just be like, I'm thinking of a person.
He has to give, like, all the details, and then we have to be like, oh.
Do you know, if you have an Alexa, you can play that game with Alexa.
That's fucking sad.
You go, yeah, you know, it's like, like, guess who?
And then you'll go, um, are they an artist or are they, are they fictional?
Like, are they real?
And she does, like, yes, no, and whatever.
And then at the end, you work out who it is.
Oh, that's fun.
Yeah, Alexa will do that with the kids.
Back in the day, that movie with, um, the guy who falls in love with Scarlett Johantton, who is the,
The voice lady.
Who?
It's got her.
I said, um, what's his name?
Warkin Phoenix.
Oh, yes.
Plays the guy.
And he falls in love with an AI.
Oh.
And it's Scarlet your handset.
And at the time we were watching it going,
oh, this is ridiculous.
But now it's like, well, of course.
Yeah.
There's another one like there.
I don't think it's probably done as well.
It's a Megan Fox one, and she's the robot.
And the guy ends up, like, cheating on his wife
and having sex with his Megan Fox robot.
Which you would, huh?
As if you would.
I wouldn't.
I thought he was going to say it if you would.
And you were like, huh?
Yeah, and he ends up having sex with the robot.
But the problem is then Megan Fox, because she's AI,
she starts becoming more and more intelligent and finding ways to kind of,
I guess, let the wife kind of suspect what's going on
because she wants the wife to find out because she's actually madly in love with the husband.
That's like that person that made that movie just saw Clint's dreams, eh?
That's exactly like they were just seen.
Print.
If I got, if I got kind of.
in a movie where
Megan Fox was my like sex robot
I mean there's literally like
no I would be like no one's making their movie
it's so cheesy and someone did
Have you seen Lars and the Real Girl?
No
It's one of my favourite films
I'm not favourite it's a great film
Producer Carl's saying love love love love
I love that movie
It's so lovely
And I'll say it's beautiful
And I'll give you the premise and you'll be like
Fuck
It's about Ryan Gosling
Who
Already in
Who is like a special guy
And he lives in a small town
and he falls in love with a sex doll.
And he's, Ryan Gosling's doing.
Wait, what's it called?
Lars and the real girl.
Was this before he was famous?
No, but he's like had a hard go of it.
So the whole town gets on board with his fantasy
and treats her like a real girl.
And the more we do it,
like the only way that he'll get past this
is if we all buy into his delusion.
So it's about the community coming together.
It's beautiful.
It's quite sad.
Oh, that's a long time.
Yeah, it's on TVNZ Plus.
You can watch it for free.
Lars and the Real Girl.
81% Rotten Tomatoes, IMDB, 7.3 out of 10.
And so does the doll become real at the end?
Like Pinocchio.
After Watch it.
After Watch it.
I'm going to take a photo.
You know when you're sitting at home and you spend like an hour scrolling through Netflix
trying to choose something?
So I'll be like, okay.
Ash says, this is good.
Okay.
Lars and the Real Girl on TVNZ.
I wonder if we haven't played this game with Ash.
seeing as we're going on games
we've played Clint's game
we've played this once before Ash
and it's where
you have to not think
and you have to say
the first thing that comes to your head
but it's you're just in a room of people
so the five of us here now
is a perfect amount of people
Hannah and my wife and I do it sometimes
I like this
so clear your mind and then whatever thought popped up
absolutely clear your mind
so let's have like just 20 seconds
of absolute silence
okay and then anyone can just yell out someone's name
and that person that's yet their name's yelled out
has to say the exact first thing that comes to their mind
okay so we have Carl
Carl can be the person who says the name
okay after 20 seconds
okay so we're just sitting there
so you can just come in at any point Carl
and just say a name okay
try and clear your brain completely
don't have anything that you're ready to say
nothing
and it's really telling as to what you say when it comes out
You're the only one fucking speaking when you're telling us all to say nothing
I'm just explaining the rules of the game
Shut the fuck up
If Carl comes to me I'm going to, my words are going to be annoying cunt
Dan
Poo my ass
That's not you, that's not real
I swear
Clint
Cocks
He's thinking about cocks
Okay shush
Now give us some time now
Okay
That was weird actually
Dan
Addison Ray's Puss
Oh fuck you
We can't do this game
What's wrong with you?
Ash
Greek feta cheese
I don't know why that was in my head it was
You are also worrying about the cock thing
Maybe I was looking at Dan
And I just thinking
We need to keep going
Dan needs to do one that's not sexual
You guys can all say
You can all say like maims as well
Give me a second because now I'm thinking about it
stuff.
Dan.
Minge.
Surely these aren't the answers
you give Hannah.
They do say the guys think about sex,
was it? Every three seconds.
But I wasn't thinking about that.
It's just your mouth comes to an easy word.
Okay.
How often do guys think about sex?
I think it's every three seconds.
Ash.
You thought too much.
No, it was poo-poo.
It was.
See?
Yeah, it was.
You infected me.
with your poo-poo.
Clint. Okay, 19.
So I was reading.
Men think about sex around 19 times a day.
Come on, it's higher than that.
Ash.
Pooh-poo.
Don't throw stones at me, bitch.
Once it gets in there.
Supposedly there was a study in 2011, but it was debunked that the study said men think of sex every seven seconds.
And they found out that men actually think about sex 19 times a day compared to 10 times a day for women.
I'm still saying what I'm still saying.
I think.
Okay.
Clint.
Times.
Dad.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dan's brain is literally just sounds and sexual things bouncing around.
Ash.
Who?
Nothing came.
Just say to you.
Hold on, hold on.
10 more seconds.
No, I'm not going to say your name now.
Okay.
Clint.
Hi.
Hey.
Oh, yeah.
That wasn't Hoya was high
You just heard Hoya
You have to push a word out
Okay, okay, okay, okay
You can't just
You can't just
Rush.
La Lubu!
Yeah, nah.
This game's so fucking dumb.
It makes you feel like you have to read.
It's just like...
It's so fun.
It's so fun.
Tanned in his wife sitting there.
Minger!
Fuck, honestly.
Neighbors are like, what are they doing?
The most of I've ever laughed is when Hannah and I were playing it in bed once.
Like, we're just laying in bed and we're playing the game.
and I fucking nearly fell out of bed pissing myself.
The key is you have to just force your mouth
to start making the sound before thinking.
And then you can start, you can make it more interesting
and extend it so you have to say a sentence.
So you have to string a sentence together.
We just quit one round of a sentence
and then we've got to go.
Okay.
Clint.
Magical people?
Not real.
Profound.
That's like, you know.
Dan.
Come to my house and sit with me.
You're going to say on my face.
and you changed it
Come to my house and sit on my person
I would never have seen it
bullshit
Hash
Lingering too far in the docean
Oh fuck me
See it's funny
Yeah you just don't
You just don't want to play with people
I don't want to play with Jake
It's not fun to play
Because he's too logical
Yeah yeah
Brain if it's like doesn't make sense
Ash
The fingering
You're as bad as he is
You're disgusting little bee
Fingering what
Don't us
Fingering what Dan
I don't know it's her fucking thing
Well I don't know that's where you're supposed to say what came to your mind
Oh I don't know you're just going to say my name
Dan come to my house
You want everyone to come to your house
I'm not inviting bash over because I know what you'll fucking try to do
For somebody that just wants to be able to come to the house
You've never invited us over
So it's making sense, bro
Deep, deep down
You want people to come over, deep down
Okay
And we will leave you with this
Ash
Blinga-da-la-la-la-ha-ha
See you guys
See you later
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