Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a podcast from Rover.
Not your mom's podcast, unless she's into absolute filth, in which case.
Respect.
This is Clint Megan Dan's OnlyFans.
Podcast, that is.
Welcome to the OnlyFans podcast with myself and Dan.
We do a radio show together.
This is not the recap of the show.
That should be sitting just above or below this link, I'd imagine.
Yeah, if you're not liking this, just listen through to it.
Please, just be, I beg you.
Because I'll get a pay rise if you do.
Yeah, well, I suppose, I mean, I guess it's one of those things.
The more downloads that your podcast gets, the more popular you become,
and therefore the more money you would think we would make.
Yeah.
Who knows, though?
Who knows?
Christmas is coming, obviously, just over a week away now.
Two weeks away.
Have you finished your Christmas shopping, Clint?
That's the question.
I was going to ask you firstly.
It's actually just my Secret Santa stuff I have to do,
but my wife was going to do that for me.
So I was like, yep.
I was sort of stat the other day that said that I think it was 65% of people,
now are doing all their Christmas shopping online
which blows my mind to be honest I'm still back
in the old school of going into the shops
and I hate it
oh I hate going to malls I remember probably
about three years ago I was
in a mall on Christmas Eve
at 1146 PM
I was like literally like the shops
like the gates you know they pull down the gates in the mall
and they like shut the
mall's open but the shops are shutting
and I was like what am I doing here man
it's literally almost
ticking over Christmas and I'm still running around the mall so then I vowed from then
on I would just always order everything online. It gets delivered to my house. It's already
in a box and all I got to do is wrap it. People that did the, this is how I think you've clocked
Christmas shopping. You wait till the Black Friday sales and then you do all the shopping
online. So you're still getting the savings. You're not having to leave your house and that you
have plenty of time for them to arrive before Christmas. I reckon that is if you did that this year,
you've clocked life. Have you nailed any gifts? Have you got a gift for your
I'm absolutely nailed that.
I'm getting, so my wife and I, she knows.
So we're getting ourselves a joint present of a scooter.
So Hannah and I are going to get a scooter.
Like an electric scooter?
Yeah, because we're buying my son a little scooter as well, like a three-wheeled scooter.
So he'll want to scoot with one of us.
But we couldn't afford to buy two scooters because they're really expensive.
So we've just got one.
And Hannah and I'll share the scooting.
I like when you see people cruising around on a lime together.
Yeah, but I don't think we'd go both fit on this one.
It's not as big as a lime.
It's like a...
So what's the other one?
to just run alongside.
Or just not go.
Oh.
Because I thought, I did pitch that we all got a scooter.
And I was like, no, we're never going to scoot as a family.
Oh, you definitely won't.
You definitely won't with one because one person's got to run.
No, because George, like, he is fucking constantly on.
Like, he will walk around the block 50 times unless you stop him.
So the thinking is, we'll get him a scooter.
One of us takes him for a scoot.
He gets tired.
then comes home
the other person
gets to relax
that's kind of the
thinking behind it
and that's me
yeah
and I personally
got a pink scooter
so I don't ever have to
write it
so Hannah's like
I'll go
because it's a pink scooter
it's going to look
annoying though
if I have to write
it at some point
no it'll see you
I
well I want to say
nailed the gift
but I didn't really
because we got
looked after
the original green pan
if you want to jump
on Instagram
and check out
oh hold on
that's not it
original green pan electric dot nz
oh yeah effectively what it is
it's a slushy maker but it also does
um soft serve
yeah frozen yoze it as well
frozen yokey's uh backing it i see here on their
instagram he's like this is the one for you
yeah so i mean i know everyone's talking about um all different slushies and stuff
like that but we just got approached uh by them saying do we want for christmas i was like
hell yeah so i uh wrapped it up and put on the box to cam tie and jamie
my wife and kids
because you know what
normally I'd be like
well they didn't buy it
so I'll get them something else
and I'll get them something else
and then kids end up
I read this study where it's like
the more things they get
the less they appreciate each thing
because they just open up and go wow cool
and then they go under the tree
to grab the next thing
and they're not really giving it
its time and appreciation
so I was like you know what
they don't need a heap of things
it's just more stuff
and they'll love that
and then my daughter was talking to me
just the other day it's already wrapped under the tree
she has no idea and she goes to me
dad I've been thinking about what I'm Christmas
and I said it's too late babe like we've already done your Christmas
shopping and it's under the tree and stuff
and she's like oh yeah and I said
so we've already got your prison she says I know
but I was just thinking like what I really
want and I was like well
what is it and she goes I really
and you might say no because they're expensive
but I really want a sushi maker
it's like get it's already under the tree
yes
you've nailed that yes
So thanks, Greenpan.
Appreciate you guys.
And she's going to come out Christmas morning
because she's already seen that box
thinking, oh, fuck, he didn't get it.
And then she's going to open and go,
you had it all along.
You're the best out ever.
I love you.
Yes.
You know me.
You know me?
That is good.
Yeah, so I was like, absolutely.
You know when you've just nailed it?
And you're like, yes.
I bought myself a little gift this year for myself for Christmas.
I love that when you're showing for other people
and you see stuff for yourself.
And it was during the Black Friday sales
and there was, because I have a PS PlayStation 4.
And my wife's just getting into gaming.
And I'm like, oh, this is cool.
She's like getting into gaming.
She's getting into gay men.
That's...
Gay men, yeah, no, gaming.
Gaming.
Oh, right.
I don't know about the gay men side.
I wouldn't surprise me.
I was wondering what she saw in you.
And she's been playing and I'm like,
I was going to get a sneakily in the Black Friday sales by a PS5.
So I got one.
And I replaced the PS4 in the like unit with the PS5.
One just stuck it in this who she doesn't know.
Yeah, yeah.
And I said I got a new controller because the controller is slightly different.
And she was playing it the other day and she's like,
the graphics are way.
better on this thing now and I was like yeah
it's just a new game I got a graphics card
yeah and then she was like it's weird
and then she went over to the cabinet
and opened the thing she was like you got a PS5
when did you get that and I had to explain
a way like that I'd got done it in like this free
should I shouldn't be saying this but I'm just like
spots and post thing that J.B.
Hi-Fi gave me a free one not knowing
that I spent $500 in the sales
love that
out of my account just lie to them
and they don't get angry yeah
and she's been seeing gay men so
Fucker.
Hey, she's got a fucking leg to stand on.
Yeah, according to Clinton, you've been seeing gay men.
So I don't know who to believe now.
That's what I'm going to say to her.
My wife does that.
She literally will buy something, and I think she does it for this reason.
She'll hang it up, and months later, she'll wear it.
And I'll go, is that new?
And she's like, no, I've heard this for months.
I'm like, yeah, but it's new.
You just haven't worn it for months.
And she's like, no.
I've had this for ages
I was like
I know babe but the tag is still on
so you've never worn it before
it's new
I can see the tag
I hate people like you
like sticklers for the money
just leave you spend
like Jamie and I are the same person
you and Hannah are similar as well
you run the tight
you tighten up those purse strings
both into gay men
brought you and my wife
oh okay
yeah no I'm just trying to keep my fan base
as wide as
How do we go from Christmas shopping to this?
Ah, you did it
You started it
No, no no
You misinterpreted gaming for game in
And are you also
Going up to the lakehouse for summer
Yeah we're going down to the lakehouse
Yes we're going down on the
Fourth or Fifth of Jan
Yeah for a few days
Who's Jan?
This guy needs to fucking get a lot
See one of the gay men
You need to fucking get a like
It's either your hearing's bad
Or you're just cracking lame gags
I think it's a bit of both to be honest
What'd you say?
Yeah, we're going out to the Lake House.
Lake House on the 5th of Jan.
Oh, yeah.
That'd be nice.
Do you get to use your brother-in-law's jet ski?
Yep.
Do you top it up with fuel every now and then?
Yep.
You don't.
He's got enough fuel.
He like stockpiles the shit.
Well, he has to because his fucking brother-in-law, you never bring me.
No, he goes, he quite often goes, oh, it's just a pleasure to have you here.
The pleasure's enough.
You've pleasured me.
How often are you pleasuring your brother-old?
her in law? I mean by going on his ski.
The ski, euphemism. How many riding his ski for his pleasure?
He says he's very pleasurable having us there.
Is it? Yeah. And I think that's enough.
Yeah.
Anyway, let's wrap it up there.
Yeah, old Ash London, bloody ditched early. She's got a long, long weekend.
She's off tomorrow and Friday.
So she's got a four-day weekend. Just before we break for the year, too.
She's staying at the big boss's house in Whiteheki, and he told her it's
been a pleasure having her there as well.
How many times have you been invited to that?
Bosses, bosses.
I had like three conversations
with the man and it's usually been him going, no, no more
money, no more money, get out of my office.
Usually that's what it is.
So, maybe next time
you do a contract negotiations, you can be out, all right,
well then I want four days at your beach place.
That's a good idea.
On Waiheke. And 10K more.
Yeah, yeah.
And I want to use your jet ski and I don't want
to put any fucking fuel in it.
And he's like, I heard that's how you roll.
And if he does, if he says, no, I'll just go, I'll pleasure you again then.
Yeah.
That's what got me in my last pay, rise.
Oh, that's a shame, always bringing it into the gutter.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, we'll get out of here.
We've still got other, unlike Ash, we've still got work to do.
But it means Meg will be back tomorrow and Friday.
She's back tomorrow and Friday, yeah.
What a pleasure.
And me and you, do we have to go lay down some vocals on your Christmas song yet?
Yeah, well, you've got to do it.
I've done mine, so you need to go and do your vocals.
and I'll leave it to you
you sing what line
kind of gives you a feeling
you might look at someone
go that's not for me
but then you might go
this line sings to me
I'll sing that
I'll sing that.
Okay
All right
I like that
I just get to choose whatever I want
What line pleasures you?
The climax
Like the big crescendo moment
in the chorus I want that
You can sing that then
Good
It'll be hard to hit
Rover
Music
Radio Podcasts