The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS how much to drink bum water?

Episode Date: September 28, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. This is the OnlyFans podcast with Clint Meg and Dan. It's not meant to be as explicit as the actual OnlyFans, but most of the time it is. Welcome to the Only Fans, everyone. Clint Dan and Ash London. Good to hear you all. We don't hear them at all. I wish we called. Wouldn't that be fine if we could hear, like, in real-time reactions?

Like a radio show or something. Or going like, ooh. Yeah. Dry-ritching. You know what my, I came up with, this invention a couple of years ago I ran it past Hannah and it was a thing where

you can just communicate with any car that's around you because you know when you're in a car and you're like I'm really aggressive when I'm driving and I'll yell at the top of my voice and I feel like because you're surrounded by metal you're much more wordy when you're like if I bumped into someone in the supermarket

that didn't see me I'll never go fuck off you fucking asshole whereas I will when I'm in a car isn't that so true Yeah Wait so you want a device So anyone can hear you saying that to them I forget that would be epic

So like every car that's around you You could hear like the cars that are like 10 metres from you So I could be following Ash and she breaks heavily And I go what the fuck was that about you dumb car Oh my gosh Wait and then wait And then she goes sorry No but do you both need to hear one like a walkie talkie

Or do you buy a device Because you want to know what people are saying about you Within a 20 metre radius Well I think every car just has one installed and so Oh you'd be very rich then That's exactly right Clint Every car that gets on that goes on the road has one

And so you have the means of communication So there'd be no need for a horn technically Because you could be like look out I'm coming up you're back there No that'd be so tiring and loud I'd be turning mine off Imagine just hearing people scream and shout at you It's like they said oh those magical power

To hear what people's thinking No thank you Yeah that'd be a nightmare You'd be so insecure But one day and you'd be like I'm a piece of shit everyone hates me I'll be all right What am I thinking now

Okay well you looked down As if you look in my boobies just then I reckon your bad thoughts got in your head And straight away you were like okay Don't think about anything naughty Don't think about anything naughty Then you looked at my boobs I was thinking your glasses

You love these glasses I want to see them on you No I wouldn't suit them They're dirty Yeah I'm glad Ash has got like Oh they look horrible on you No Jesus I look like some like old science teacher

Oh he'll suit them Clint looks good in anything That's your self-talk Before he took them, I've got a big head. Before he took them off, he's like, I won't suit them. And then when you're like, give him to clean, he'll suit them. Oh, boy. You're in a chat.

Oh, no, they don't suit you either. No, they're too big for you. Wow, your face is. Isn't that funny that they don't look too big on your face? Have you got a big head? I've got a huge ass head. Do you? And I've got very high arch in my eyebrows.

There's lots of space between my eye and my brow. But you look at you face and I go, you don't have a big head. But now I know you do because they look small. They look too big. Well, the tiny glasses on your face is too. It's okay, guys. They're like those little nose spectacles. Shut up.

There's actually a place in Mount Roscoe in Auckland. I got my boy sat on these and broke them and I was devastated. And I took it to them and they fixed them for $10. Wow. They like mold, melt them back into place and re-did the sides. I'm obsessed with them. You know, the people, not the glasses. Now we're naturally talking about optometrists.

We have to bring it up. No one. Standing ovation. My wife got one the other day. You guys are fucking making this shit up. You know how I... I swear on my life. You know how I...

A couple of years ago, I said on air that I went to Spec Sabres and I got an eye test and it was the perfect, one of the best eye tests they've ever seen and they gave me a standing ovation. Sounds like fucking Donald Trump. And it was one of the best ones I've ever seen.

Ever. She said that, I'm not making it up. Why would I make up that stupid? What a lame story to make up? I don't know, you tell us. And so she clapped me and the other lady clapped me. It was like three different women in Speck savers.

I should hold on air, Clint poo poohed me, Meg said I was a liar, happy days. Three years later, my wife Hannah went and got an eye test at a different company, OPSM. And it was just one lady, but she did a really good test, and the lady stood up from her chair and clapped her out of the place. Clapped her out? So she was just like, get out of here, you? I cannot help you. Get the fuck out. There are no glasses that will improve your vision.

Shoot, get out. Get out. Get out. You're still clapping. No. Get out of it. Actually, don't even pay. Actually, don't even pay for the test.

Just go. I'm just saying, is there? There are optometrists listening. I'm going to get an eye test this week because when I, if I put my hand on my, like, if I rub my face or if I'm putting whatever. Moisturized it on. I just finish. Whatever.

My right eye almost feels like bruise. Like it's like sore to touch rows. The left one's fine. And my vision's all right. But because my sister-in-laws are like an optometrist or works with eye health. She's got a freebie somehow. No, she lives. And he knows more people than I've ever met in my life.

She lives in my life. She lives in Miami, so she's not going to be a hubby now. But she was like, you need to get that shit sorted out right now. Your eyes should not be doing that. So I'm going to get a test. Stop, stop, stop. Why do they live in Miami? I know.

She's always lived in, like, the state. I think she got a very good job. And it took her over to Ozzy, something with eyes. But why Miami? Well, she went to Australia. Did she know people have eyes in New Zealand? The company she worked for was an American company that was out of Australia. And then they were like, she just keeps leveling up, leveling up.

And now she's like running. She got kids? No. Okay, so continue with your story. Yeah, so now she's just, you know, earning, like, very good money over there. And I guess that's why it's hard to come back to New Zealand because you don't want to, like, chop your salary by 80% to come home. Yeah, we might get a shot.

Here's my flag, though, about you doing the eye test. You'll only get the standing ovation if you read perfectly. Well, I will because I have perfect vision because I've had my eyes lasered. Have you? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, so I've... Why?

Because you don't like how you look in glasses? No, I used to wear contact lenses. And then if I forgot them and I was playing football, I just... sides are real bad? Short-sided, yeah, it was blurry, like, especially at night. It wasn't great if I was driving. And I was like, shit, don't in my contacts or lenses. I don't know if they go.

So it's got one done. Standing O's for artificial good eyesight. Oh, okay, here we go. They wouldn't have got a standing owing. They wouldn't tell them. They went to the surgeon who did it. Okay, I won't tell them until I've read the bottom line and they all stand up and clap.

And then I'll go, I don't really deserve that. I've got my eyes laser. Yeah, but they'll go, we can see that in the scarring. Okay. I don't know. So I'm going to go, I'm going to try and go, literally today, so if they have walk-in appointments, I'll tell you if they stand up.

Will you go literally in the next couple of hours? Like, literally after the gym. Okay, well then we can literally talk about it tomorrow, Ash. They'll make space for you. There's no space. I'll go, oh, Clint Randall's here. Yeah, Clint Randall from Dancing with the Stars. There's been some old granny that's been waiting three weeks for a eye-check.

They'll be like, piss off, bitch. Clint's got your spot. I got a dancing with the stars recognition from the least likely person to ever watch Dancing with the Stars. A gang member from the Killer Bees. Brilliant. It's not like the Cominceros. Who are the killer bees?

A little gang name. I was at a club friend leaving to go to Dubai, so she's having drinks there, and we were in this booth. But it got to a certain time, and obviously someone else had rented the booth, and you obviously have to drop a lot of money, and all these boys came, they filled the booth,

with all their tattoos and their sunglasses that they wore inside, and the next minute the sparklers started coming out with all the grey goose bottles and shit. So they're obviously dropping a lot of money, and one of the guy goes, Hey, you. And he's like, come here.

I'm like, oh. Clint thinks he's going to pop a cap in his ass. I was like, I've stared too long at one of the lads in the booth. And I went over and he goes, bro, I know you're from somewhere. Where are you from? You're on TV or something, hey? And I was like, yeah, yeah, a couple of years back might have been, and he goes, dancing with the stars.

And I go, yeah, and he's like, boy, this is this guy. And then all of a sudden I was like, the killer bees. See, that's lovely. How did you know they were the killer bees? I found out afterwards because I was like, oh, those boys are like lovely. Don't know where they are from. And one of the girls was like, oh, there's a killer bees king. So I just took a girl word as gospel.

If it isn't, it should be the nest, eh. Or the hive, no, the hive. We're going back to the hive. Yeah. Yeah, the killer birds would be of the nest. Oh, the nest. The beast. I say a bees nest.

Wasps nest. Killer wasps. Stop speaking. Well, they can find out of where you live and then skip the shit out of you. I've got to go on. I'm going to make myself some noodles from the machine and then go to my night show. I'm going to make me goring on the way. Oh, how good.

good's me goryang. Oh, we had to start restricting my daughter to two packs a week. She would have a pack of noodles every day. We're like, right, you're just addicted. Isn't it? Isn't it full of MSG? I don't think MSG is that bad. Isn't it?

Only if you're allergic to it. If you're allergic to MSG, no bono. But if not, I think it got a bad rap in the 90s. What's the one that all the orangutans are winchined about? Palm oil. No, whenever you go to a Chinese... They were winch and they're going to. I'm just not taking our bloody palm oil.

And Doritos have them. Now, when you go into a Chinese store, I'd be like, no, MSG, all over at there. You'd be like, yeah, I can fucking tell. It tastes like shit. Put the M.S.G in there, man. So, yeah, that was like the sign. Like, don't worry, we don't use that.

It's a fine now. It's only if you're allergic. Some people get sick from it. It's the same that, like, if you can have gluten, you can eat gluten. If you can't, if it doesn't make, if gluten doesn't make you sick, it's fine. But if you don't have gluten. Ash wouldn't put anything in her body that could make her sick. I mean, I don't eat MSG.

At home, I would never have MSG. But if I got to a Chinese restaurant, that's fine, you know. What's the worst thing you, in your eyes, what's the worst thing you could eat that's on the market? The worst thing you've ever had in you? Like if I, yeah. Even health wise, what's saying how would. What would you never touch? Like, cheap meat.

What if I gave you a 50 bucks? No. 200 bucks. Nope. So you've never eaten cheap meat. Well, I would because I have macas sometimes. But like, no, that's not even sexual. Apart from there's so many things.

Like, I wouldn't have like, um. A V. Would you have a V? No way. What? Not a chance. No way. Really?

It's just the chemicals. Because I once asked that, remember, you know, Dr. Libby? Yeah. We had her in once and I said to her, would you have like a chicken nugget in a V or something like that? Yeah, she said good for you. And she was like, taken aback. It was like, I'd ask her to like literally snort meth or something. It was like, she was like, oh, God, no.

I don't eat anything. When I go to the supermarket, I look at the packet of absolutely everything I put in the troll. And if there's something in the ingredients, I don't know what it is, we won't get it. Wow, you must take like four hours. I take so long. So, like, even, like, as a treat, we would have, like, sausages and cured meats are a big treat in our family. And I won't only have cured meats if they're only cured in salt, never in any preservatives. So what's a cured meat?

Like a jerky? A ham. Even ham. Most ham is full of preservatives that are, there's so much data to prove that it is, like, actually a carcic. Well, like, shaved champagne ham. You get in the deli? No, Bueno. What about a leg of ham?

I'd have it. Well, see, some of it's, a leg, a ham leg is often just cured in salt. And often when it's slice, it has to have more preservative. So there is ways around it. But, like, it is so funny that even meat is, like, such a staple part of our diet, but red meat is a carcinogen. We know what causes cancer. Yet we have it three times a day because it's culturally so much a part of our culture.

And we eat meat at home, but we ration it. We have organic, which means I have to pay more, so we eat less of it because we can't afford to have it. it three times a day. That's interesting, isn't it? Because Dr. Libby, I remember when we chatted to her. Maybe it was in the other show I was in, but she like, I think she's like 70 or something, but she looks incredible.

Because she just eats salad and lettuce. She's like a rabbit. You know, but that's what she eats. But I eat a lot of beans. Beans are the best thing for you. A can of beans a day. But yeah, look, I mean... I couldn't do that. It is, it does come with a lot of stress. Maybe your body gets used to it.

So now I can have, like, so much fibre. My body's used to, but you have to, like, you work yourself up to it. But it comes with a lot of stress and anxiety, which is... Why not just like, eat what you want and then just, like, train hard in the gym for your cardiovascular health? Because it's not about, like, it's not, no, because I, like, yes, you should be training. But I don't eat things that make me skinny.

Obviously, I eat things that I know are good for my gut, my digestive system, like, aren't going to be, like, making my body have inflammation. So eating to be skinny is different. You could just be under 1,200. calories a day, hit my markers, my macros go to the gym, but that's not what I'm interested in. Sure, but then if you're obsessed with, like, making sure you're doing the most, putting the most healthy types of foods or nutrition foods in your body, then wouldn't you also

be like a crazy gym freak? And you'd be, like, seven to ten times a week. No, because, yes, I should. It's just what I've become obsessive about is like, is like, is like, can't be obsessed with everything, I suppose. Yeah, and it's my gut health more than anything as opposed to, and, but you're absolutely right, like to be a healthy person, you should be sleeping, exercising, eating well, drinking water, keeping your stress down.

Like, all of those things are all equally important. Yeah. But so often, and I'm guilty of it, you're all probably guilty of it. You choose your thing. Yeah. So, like, ideally. At least a little. I think that's what I'm guilty of.

I exercise to have a Big Mac, you know, like, I'll go for a run and go right. Now I can go have a cake. But if I wanted a Big Mac tomorrow, there's also no world that I would be like, I can't have a Big Mac. No, I just have a Big Mac. Yeah. And I think the way I can justify that in my mind is it 90% of the time. And also the biggest thing for me is buddy, not me.

So like I'm very anal about what he eats. And he'll get good habits because then... I hope so. But I also have to teach him that like sometimes foods are okay. So I give him ice cream and chocolate and fun things so that he doesn't then have a issue with eating, which is like I can only eat healthy things and other things. I would never tell him that's going to make you sick or we don't eat. eat that, that's bad.

Yeah, because then you get food phobias and stuff. Totally. So, I mean, it's a process, but you're absolutely right. Like, I probably should do 20% less stressing about food and 20% more go to the gym. How much for a glass of V? 50 bucks. Oh, he wants to know how much he'd have to pay you. $500 for a V?

Yeah. I'd also have probably have a panic attack about a V because of all the caffeine. You're like, Dr. Lubby, you must be so healthy. I'd love to... But I'm not, I mean, you'd think. I know my gut would be an excellent shape. My digestive system is... Have you added colonic?

I could have just come out. The water had come out cleaner than it went in. But I'd never have a colonic because they'd have food. Still wouldn't drink it. Yeah, yeah. I've got to go, guys. Love you so much. I'm going to have a me going to ring.

I was going to drink ashes colloquium. The water is coming out cleaner than it went in. And when it went in, it came out of the fucking tap. Real question. How much to drink my colonic water? If I was a billionaire, we'd be doing it tomorrow. How much tomorrow I drink in? I bring in a bottle, a glass.

It's a one metric cup. of my colonic water. It wouldn't happen. I wouldn't drink it. For a million dollars. Tax-free, cash. Get out of there. I'd chug that like a boss.

Mecca, how much for you to drink a cup of my colonic water? Oh, I'm pretty poor. Like... 20 grand? Yeah, probably. Nice. What about 500 bucks cash? Far out.

Oh, God. Oh, maybe, maybe. He wants to see how big the cup is and if it's a Friday and he's got the weekend. and payday is still like a week and a half away. A shot of colonic juice. A shot for 250, give it yet. Bye guys. Rover, music, radio, podcasts.