The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS if you don't like accents, maybe give this one a miss...

Episode Date: July 13, 2025

This is a podcast from Rova. Buckle up, lower your standards and prepare to question everything. This is Clint Megan Dan's Only Bands. Podcast that is. Konnichiwa. Oh shit, sorry. Ohai ogozaimasu. Oh Clint, he's like that person that comes back with an accent

but unfortunately it's a racist Japanese accent. Oh, it's not racist. It's like when you say Rotorua, you know, you say it in the way that it would be said by the people. No, you're saying it right. You're saying it the pronunciation right. You're not putting on an accent. No, I'm saying konnichiwa. Like that's how you say it. You don't say konnichiwa. Okay. Okay. I'm unsure now.

Yeah, I don't know. If I was offending people by saying Ohio Gaziamas, because they always hold the Gaziamas, but they do have macrons on some of their words, so you aren't supposed to hold it. You can say Ohio Gaziamas without going Ohio Gaziamas. No, but you even said it with an accent. What do you want, Ohio Gaziamas? No. Yeah.

Producer Kyle. Quick question for you, Clint. What's that, it's like a French pastry and it's like kind of like a moon shape? Croissant. You never say it like that. You never say it like that. And anyway it's croissant. Yeah, so see, proved my point.

Anyway, yeah, I came back from Japan. So, even tonight when I got a beer, I was at a Mexican restaurant. She handed me a win. Arigatou. Thank you. Oh my god. Went to go arigatou. At a Mexican restaurant in Japan. No, in New Zealand. I got home. But I was just so sad. Arigatou gozaimasu. Arigatou gozaimasu. Arigatou gozaimasu.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, my Japanese is limited, but you definitely want to know how to say thank you and please. Oh, and you need excuse me as well. Suimasen, which is like excuse me, sorry. You're saying excuse me a lot. Yeah. Anyway, we're back now. Yeah, we're back.

Unfortunately, Ash was away today. So she's supposed to be like, and straight like the first day back, I'd argue, was not a good look. Oh, and you know what? She sent us a photo showing us how bad she looked and it isn't a great photo of her, so I saved it so that now when she calls me, this photo will come up every time now because I didn't have a picture of her.

And then we found out it's her birthday today. So maybe she's taken birthday leave. Have you got her number? Yeah. I wonder if we call, I wonder if she is actually sick because it's her birthday today. You know and some people are like, they just like their birthday off. Yeah. And she should see you like an old photo of her when she was sick.

And she's actually looking like sick. So here's my punch. But not in the way but she's looking like she's looking great. One of us puts on a voice, I know you're good with your accent stuff. Maybe you could put on an accent. Like I'm a I know you're good with your accent stuff. Maybe you could put on an accent. Like I'm a Japanese... You're a Japanese doctor. Okay. No let's not go Japanese, that's not encouraging. You're American. How do I say hello in Japanese? No you're American. Okay, mushy mushy they say on the phone don't they? Mushy mushy? Japanese. No they say konnichiwa.

So I reckon you call just with a voice of some sort, just you need to alter your voice so she doesn't think it's you. And maybe say you're from the clinic and you're just following up to see if she's still got symptoms. And I bet she doesn't and she could have been here today. Yeah, like how's she feeling? Like so what her doctor just randomly calls her just to see how she's doing. Doctors don't do that. Okay, well then come up with your own thing you're the guy doing the prank okay your prank okay so

I'll get her number on okay okay we'll call her everyone does a survey everyone wants to know how they did you know they help you with any fucking thing and then they're like hey just take a form to seven let us know how we did what's the voice you're gonna do you say you're calling from her doctor and you're doing a survey about how the doctor was? Yeah. Okay, what's your voice? Hey, I'm gonna do Brad. Oh, she's gonna do Brad.

I do, no, Brad, hey. Don't you worry about my accent. Brad, you've done Brad before. Brad, he was from Thermomix. Thermomix, isn't he, right? Brad from Thermomix. Yeah, but now he's moved from Thermomix and he works at the doctors. I'm surprised he's been promoted to be honest.

No, he got fired and he needs to work in a different area. That's more of a believable one. Okay, right, okay sorry I need to get her to stop distracting me. Yeah, you get the number. And Ash, there she is. Oh, you got your boss's wife's number. Interesting. Interesting. Ash. 027.

Nope. So you won't say the numbers in my head if I were you? 3, 3. I won't say the last two. That's good. No, you don't do the last three. Do you know how easy it is just to do the last two? There's not that many combinations.

Okay. I'm calling now. do the last two there's not that many combinations. Okay I'm calling now. Feel free to put it through to Sven from accounts. Yeah. Oh don't you worry. This is Ash. Hey Ash it's Brad here I'm just going to see how things are progressing with you after you were in the clinic the other day and we're just trying to get a bit of an update as to how we did and how you enjoyed our service. Who is that? Brad. Who's Brad? Brad from the Medical Centre where you got your antibiotics and things. Oh is this a joke? No, no. Hold on I'll just transfer you, maybe you better, speaking to your doctor Sven, hold on, I'll just transfer you, maybe you better speak to your doctor

Sven, hold on, I'll transfer you. Hold on, just hold on. Okay, I'm holding on. Here we are. Doctor Brad. Who's this? This is Ash. Hi Ash, how are you? Hi, how are you? It's fine. Hi, you are such a great doctor's fan. I am. I love seeing you, my darling. Well taken care of in your clinic. I'm just thinking to say, how are you feeling after your big appointment? Are you still feeling okay? I'm feeling okay.

I think the rectal exam was probably overkill. It's still from that. But other than that, we're doing good. Yeah, it's just what I like to do for my patients. Hey, Zoe, Brian here again. So how would you score Spence doctor abilities out of 10? Look, I'm going to say 11. The attention to detail.

It's all there, you know what I'm saying? I felt listened to. How likely are you to refer Sven to a friend? I'm not sure if most people would be up for spin maybe just um yeah I wouldn't recommend him for others but for me personally that's the level of care that I quite enjoy. I like to do a personal touch. I think she's clearly sick. This has been a test after just to double check because I was like happy birthday by the way we didn't know it was your birthday. We were like hold on so is she having a birthday offer to double check, because I was like, Happy birthday by the way, we did not wish you a birthday. Oh yeah, we just thought it was your birthday, babe, and we were like, hold on, so is she having a birthday off or is she actually sick?

I was like, hold on, this reeks of someone just wanting their birthday off, I bet she's not sick. But clearly, no, now she's coughing. Yuck, you won't be back tomorrow. Yeah, no. You're not going to be here tomorrow. No, I'm so much better than I was. Yuck!

Leave all your coughing germs at home. God, this is you better than you were. I was actually going to bring my air filter in that I have in my bedroom and just bring it into the studio. Like Mariah Carey? Like my own wind machine. Do you know what you need? You need some flow or whatever it is. It's like...

Oh, the one that I gave you to have so you don't get sick on your trip. Why should a buddy take in my own advice? It's got like red seaweed or something in it and you squirt it up your nose. Ash told me about it. I'll bring some in for you, babe. She was telling me how to not get sick and then look what happened. Looks like, yeah. Maybe it's the flow that's the issue. Oh, I'm good as gold. Clee, you didn't get sick in Japan did you?

You're all cheap. I'm all good, yeah. You're welcome. Thank you babe, thank you. Oh wow, this all checks out. I think you're clearly sick. Yeah, I am, promise. We will leave you to it because you need to recover.

What are you going to do on your birthday if you're crook? We're pretending it's not my birthday because it's too pathetic to have a birthday on your own bed. You rain checking it to next week. Yeah, we'll do it next week because if buddies, my son knows it's my birthday, he'll be like, Where's the cake? Where's the presents? That's all the kids care about, eh? Yeah. Exactly.

And what are you at 21, eh? 21. I wish. It's my last year of my 30s, guys. Oh no. 39! Clint could tell you how that is, but that happened to him seven years ago. It's my last year of my 30s guys. Oh no. Oh. 39. Clint could tell you how that is, but that happened to him seven years ago. Fuck. Oh my god.

Exactly. It was 40 a few months ago. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you poor thing. Well, hey, I don't know if you know, but they do birthday leave here. You get a day off for your birthday. So I hope this day off that you're having now comes out of your sick leave and not your birthday leave.

Yeah. Fuck their media work. I'm taking it. Yeah, yeah, you just make sure they code it to the right place. You tell them. Choo choo choo! Eww, eww, okay. I feel like I'm getting sick listening to you through the phone. Yuck, I need to squirt some of that phloem in my nose.

I promise I'm so much better. I don't even pay you anymore, promise. We'll see you next week! See you, bye! Bye! Bye, babe. Bye! Sorry to bother you, back to sleep. I'm so much better. I don't even think of babies anymore, I promise. We'll see you next week. See you, bye. Bye babe. Bye. Sorry to bother you back to sleep.

Bye. Yeah, she real sick. Yeah, she not being in tomorrow. Yeah. I don't know what happened to your sphenidine. I've lost him. It was rusty. I've lost him.

I thought he was like some sort of issue with his voice. There's like another big meeting announcement, something or whatever it is. So we're going to have to wrap this up because the entire EDGE staff looking at us through the glass, wanting the room. An entire staff meeting, which could mean one of two things. We're getting a lunch or we're all getting fired. I hope it's a lunch. Yeah. Or one of us is leaving. It's not me, is it you?

See you guys!