The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS I'm off you both!

Episode Date: September 21, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Buckle up, lower your standards and prepare to question everything. This is Clint Megan Dan's OnlyFans. Podcast, that is. Welcome to The OnlyFans with myself. Clint, that is myself. I know it's confusing when I say myself, Clint, Dan and Ash, sounds like there's four of us. Yeah.

We were talking today on the show Ash did a scandal about people, these celebrities that go on these boats in the Caribbean. Where is it? Ibitha. Ibitha. And they invite all their celebrity mates. We did this a few maybe two. two years ago where we talked about

repopulating Mars and was when Meg was here. Because I think Elon was wanting to send people. That's right. Who would you take? Yeah. And who was so hypothetical, Ash, you're tasked by Elon Musk and his team.

Yeah. Okay. To go and repopulate Mars. Earth's got too full and they're like Ash London. She's the best person for the job. Obviously you're there for vibes. You've got three others. We're sending up London. And do we need to have sex and have babies? Well, you don't have to. You make the choices.

They've gone in London. You're going up there to start a new society. You're the person for it. You're allowed to take four other well-known people with you. Make sure you choose well because they need skills to repopulate, rebuild, do everything. Yeah, but do we need to also be like Adam and Eve and have babies or will people come eventually?

We just need to set up the society. I think that becomes, yes, you need to take someone that you or two people. In case, I suppose, it takes longer to get other people there than you think. You might not want to be part of that so you could just be the boss take a couple. I'm the boss because I can't put my body through that again. Okay. I'm going to have like, I need someone that like knows a lot about farm.

Okay, there's this guy that I follow on Instagram and he like grows and makes everything from scratch using like real old school methods. Bottling, jarring, preserving, growing. So he bring the seeds and stuff. So that guy. Has he worked on Mars before? Yeah, he's, well, who has worked on Mars before, darling? Dan's like none of them have Mars experience I'll just bring four people who have worked on Mars before

There we go No you can't not allowed Well I'm bringing the seed guy Then I'm going to bring bear grills Survival etc And just in case you need to pee in it guys I'm going to repopulate the Earth with Just meet him just going to root in the corner

Oh go from the new gladiator Brut in the corner There's no corners you haven't built anything So we've got someone to have babies with someone to food, someone to like survive and then maybe someone that's really good at like, then someone from NASA who knows about science, I think, and like knows about. Is that a guy or girl? I suggest getting another girl because otherwise you're on high rotate. Who says I'm against that?

It's just going to master low gravity fucks. She's just pregnant all the time. The president calls out she they're like, what's the progress up there? She's just like, Oh, Jesus I'm going to He come Oh, God The best is they call it

A low gravity fuck Like what is that even mean? Sounds quite difficult actually They keep floating away from you Yeah, if you like the chase Yeah, big rules like I'm horny and ash It's like, oh shit, I'm floating away From memory, I wish I could put in the audio

Dan got fucking the guy David Attenborough who was just narrating what everyone else is fucking doing because he doesn't do anything He just narrates No but he knows about nature

He'd know everything about Mars He's so smart I think he reads scripts I'd take him every day Every day I would take him now From anti-gravity fuck That'd kill him

And then He dies on day one And then Dan was taking Rowan Atkinson So he's got Mr. Bean No, I didn't take Rowan Atkinson to space. I don't think so. Or maybe I did.

Because I was like, he literally doesn't even know how to survive on Earth. That's what I made a whole show about how. Yeah, but that's not, he's common. He's done blackadder. He's done love actually. And I don't know, I know the last business. I don't know if you took three or four. But at the end, Dan goes, oh, and we need like a leader who knows what they're doing.

So he goes, Helen Clark. And I was like, okay, mate, so you're either having gay sex and you're not going to have any babies. Oh, you're having sex with Helen Clark. I forgot about the repopulization. You don't need yourself any favours. I would take, I'd take Attenborough again because I think he would be great. Because you wouldn't need him for very long.

You'd just get up there and he'd get the lay of the land and then he could die. Like, we'd go, what's that over there? And he'd go, what's that over there? And he'd go, well, you can die now. And he dies, okay? I love how he brought him all the way just to point out where the mountains are.

And when he gets there, it's like, well, it's not a real hilly place. So there are none here, Dan. You're like, well, you're a fucking wasted time. He better not eat all your expressions. I've got to tell you guys, do you know what? My friend in Australia said that Dan looks like someone that's very famous in Australia.

Pete, Pete, one of the top words? Pete Evans. I get there a lot. The crazy guy that likes. He wasn't always crazy. He used to just be a good chef. But you do look like him. But have you seen his hair now? Pete Evans from Timu.

Now he has a really bad mohawk. Yeah. Like a real sovereign. He's got like a rat tail. He's like a much hotter version than me, I'd say. No, you're hotter than him. Do you reckon? Yeah.

Really? Oh, that's a common. But I'm also off him. I think I would go Megan Fox Natalie Portman Ryan Not Ryan

Rachel McAdams And maybe like You need a man up there with you No No I don't need any competition Well so it's just you and four women Yeah Clint

Yeah And I'd be like After 10 years And they'd be like How are you guys going up there And I'm like But fuck if I'm honest Like

None of us know how to build anything We haven't really learnt anything They're like what are you doing I'm like Ever in the time of my life And then Then they'd be like, we sent Clint, we sent the wrong guy. I'd be like, yeah, you did.

And then I would, yeah, and I'd be like, sorry guys. And then eventually, I guess we all die because we built nothing. But I at least died of too much sex. I sent it. I did it. I absolutely send it. And no man on earth would spite you for it. Yeah, I would just be, even though I died up there, weirdly, I'd probably be one of the most envied men in the world.

I agree. Yeah, that all you need something like, I guess, what women were you taking? Megan Fox. Rachel McAdams. Natalie Portman. and that fourth spot maybe like a Julia Roberts Oh yeah

She's hot Yeah do you know why She'd be a better love on all those women It's probably a lot older than I'm visualising Because I watch for the very first time In the weekend Notting Hill Oh did you love it

Isn't it the best movie ever I know I listen to Dan speaking on your podcast Hopeless Romantics Why don't you text me and tell me you're watching it I would come over and watch it with you Oh really? I genuinely I love that movie

We had to buy it because I don't think any streaming service had it but neon did but you know to rent seven bucks or whatever and then Jamie and I watched it and I was like this is a great film Lovely movie No wonder Hugh Grant had such success

Because he was just in a lane That I don't remember anyone else being He owned that lane floppy man Flopsy Flopsy And she's just What would she say is your favourite part of the film She speaks very quietly

She's overwhelmed She's very Restrained Restrained is exactly what I was looking for in her... And he's like, I've got a coffee, I've got... She's like, no. Yeah, and she's just...

No. She's amazing. Holds the room because of... She uses her silence. Yes. Very, very well. The best scene in that whole movie or sequence in that movie, I reckon,

apart from I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy. And I'm fucking amazing scene. But the scene where she comes over for dinner at the brother-in-house. Oh, it's so good. Such a brilliant scene. And she's like $22 million or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You go, so how much does you make? how much she made doing film? She's like, oh, last film, 15 million. Yeah, I have friends, tell them to guys. And when she follows her into the toilet, then she comes back, she's like, oh my God, I just followed Anna Scott into the loom. Yeah. She was undoing her pants.

She passed away, the actress. I know, so sad. Really? Yeah, she died. But, yeah, it's, oh, honestly, one of the best. If you've never seen Notting Hill, I mean, yeah, Notting Hill. I love the scene when she realizes he's got a boyfriend, but he's pretending he's the room service guy.

So then the boyfriend hands him the rubbish and the plates. He's such a dick. to like take out. Yeah, I was to say it was great. The problem is we then, because we had a bit of a hungover Sunday, we then followed up Notting Hill with two weeks notice.

And all of a sudden, Hugh Grant's character is the opposite. He's the rich guy with lots of money who isn't this like really lovable character. Two weeks notice is Sandra Bullock, yeah? Yeah. Do you know what another underrated rom-com that Hugh Grant is in his music and lyrics

with Drew Barrymore? I love that. To be honest, I don't think he's, I had a dud. There's another one called Nine Month. where he's with Julianne Moore where it's like it follows them through like a pregnancy great movie

and also of course there's your four weddings and your funeral and your love actually he did Willie Wonka he might have dropped the ball there when he was the old oneper as far as romcoms go

he was very well he was good Willie Wonka though yeah I can't think of a bad Hugh Grant movie I genuinely can't I would just watch Heretic late recently

where he plays this like he's brilliant in it though oh he's good I saw the ad for it and I was like he's serious and the undoing with

It's like a mini-series with Nicole Kidman. He's a dark guy in that as well. Okay, well, it says Hugh Grant considers the lady and the highwayman to be his worst movie. A low-budget historical drama where he felt his performance, particularly his hair and voice, made him resemble the cartoon character Deputy Dogg rather than a sexy highwayman. He's also, of course, in Bridget Jones, fantastic in that. Yeah, he's very good in everything. And he's good in The Gentleman.

I'm so good. I'm really struggling to him. Him and Julie Roberts is such a great job. of in Notting Hill, that I really wish that at some point I wanted to be able to go, I didn't Google it, but I wanted to go back and find out that they dated in real life. Yeah, there's chemistry's out. I reckon the best

on-screen chemistry ever, those two. I'm like, how did those two not hook up? I mean, maybe they were already loved up with other partners, but I'm like, how do you do a film like that and not have some sort of off-screen romance? Apparently they didn't get on. That's what I heard. Yeah, I heard they didn't get on. What? Did you guys ever see

knives out or glass onion? No. Oh, yeah, with the... You would love them. 007 guy. Daniel Craig. Yes. Knives out. It's really, really, really, really good.

Yeah. There you go. But heretic, many looks so scary in that. On the scene at the, sorry, we're just fucking reminiscing bits of nodding hell. But when he goes to the press conference at the end, and then she's like, and re-asked that question. And she's like, how long are you staying in the UK hand? She goes, indefinitely.

And he goes, doom, and the music comes in. And then everyone, everyone turned around and realize that he is. William Sacker. The guy, yeah. And there's nothing a she may be the ghost. I thought that was down the aisle to that song. I thought that was a drop ball that song for that part of the movie. Oh no, it's brilliant.

I was like, of all the songs I could have chosen, I felt like it didn't really match the tone of where I thought the movie was going. It's a beautiful, beautiful movie. The music's great, the acting's great, the script is fantastic. One of the best things was when friends of yours talk about it a movie that is their favorite, like you did. And I've gone, I've never seen that. you already know before you start the movie you're in for a great two hours.

You know, that's so good. It's like when someone's not seeing the Princess Bride for me and I'm like, if they're one of my friends and I know them, I'm like, you're going to fucking love this movie. But yeah, I kind of give a better film than Notting Hill to watch for the first time. I'm so jealous. You could watch it there's something in it for everyone.

If you could watch it with your wife and be like quite a macho dude but you'd still love it because it's got real good comedy, but it's really funny bits in it. The t-shirts for the date. Fancy a fuck. Oh, it's so good. And when he tells her, like, days later that he's gotten the call, he doesn't, Jessica Rabbit, doesn't remember that, oh, it's so good.

He's great. I remember that guy from a movie called The Replacements, which, if you like, sport movies, is another great one. Recyphens. He's the kicker in a movie The Replacements with Keanu Reeves. He plays, like, Falco as a quarterback. He got married. I used to go and know a girl called Pandora.

Never got to see her box, though. Have you seen About Times? Also Richard Curtis. About time, I would say if I was asked one of my favourite films of all time if I'm not going to go call rings or Dumber Dumber, about time,

Rachel McCarrams. Okay, I'll watch that this week. Haven't you watched it? Have you not seen About Time? Oh, you will cry your fucking head off. Really? It has this song and it, hold on, the most romantic song of all time.

The reason why I love it is because it's unlike any other film I've ever seen. Just listen to the words in this song, boy, it's going to be about a minute, but just commit to it. Sorry, it's a bit of an intro on it. Just remember that this will get flamed.

Will it? Coming through a laptop speaker, Neeps, what it's doing? Oh, Farah. Who is this? Ben Folds. Oh. Don't let there not let you watch the movie. I am what?

Listen. Listen. Listen. Fuck off. He ruined the best song ever. Come on, Clint. It's so beautiful. You didn't love it, Dan.

No, if you listen to her, no, I know you, Dan. Shut up. If you were on your own, thinking about Georgie and Hannah, and you don't know, you would love that song. Not on your own doing that. Don't do that while I'm doing what she's. No, you've sold it to me. I like that song. Shut.

He winked to me when you went looking. I did not. I, Ash, would I wink at Clint? He's trying to fucking frame me the country He went like this When you looked at He goes, yeah He goes

I love the song I did not He's lying If he was lying He would do Pinocchio nose No And I would have done Pinocchio nose

To try and sell it But I'm not lying He winked so I had to go with the truth I wish we had cameras in here And they could replay it Oh fuck up We do have cameras in here Find them Nibia

Listen to the lyrics I don't get many things right The first time In fact I'm told it a lot Now I know that all this Blah blah blah All the stumbles that brought me here

What if I'd been born 50 years before you In a house on the street where you live Maybe I'd be outside of you Fuck you guys I'm off of you. He's winking him not He winked me about three times during me I'm off you all

Yeah I'm getting the video footage You're pulling it Names I We can't watch it until the potty's done So we'll have to do an update tomorrow And if Dan's lying or not I was a lying

You're gonna look like an idiot No I'm off you both Because you didn't even try to listen to the words I was but he just keep winking at me And I always commit to everything Every big you do I commit to it. Exactly, Clint.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Now I'm watching you to see if you're winking. Well, you will be gutted because I haven't winked once. Okay. And the villainity did. I swear on my life. He said, I haven't winked once he looked down. He went like, oh, I did not.

Oh, my God. Who do you believe? I don't know. He's trying to be an, he's an asshole. He seems real legit. Swear on Kimmy's life. It's okay, I believe. I swear on Kimmy's life.

I swear on Kimmy's life. I don't swear on lives, I don't. Oh, that's convenient. You would know if I... Okay, well, I'm going to believe that as a mate, you wouldn't lie to me and you wouldn't lie about lying because that's a shit, shit thing to do, your friend. Don't look away. As soon as you look away, he's going to wink at me.

I won't, I won't. I'm looking straight at you. All right, oh, he's looking for Pete Evansy now, isn't he? No, I don't... I'm not taking any one side here. Okay. It's good because I was fucking winking the whole time. See you next time, guys. Rover, music, radio, podcasts.