The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS it wasn't me for once

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. This is the OnlyFans podcast with Clint Meg and Dan. It's not meant to be as explicit as the actual Onlyfans, but most of the time it is. Welcome to the Only Fans, Clint Dan and Ash London. Hello! We managed to chain her to the desk this morning. I know. You missed the last two.

Oh, yeah. Well, kids, we've been so busy with all the hit-to-spot rehearsals and yada, yada, yada. There's a lot going on. People might not know I also do another radio show on another station. what's happening and you also do your podcast as well and I do my podcast and also you get sensitive to making mistakes and us making fun of you and then you walked out one yeah no because we were in it we were on a time limit to do those fucking an ounce of reads and usually I do it perfectly and you two fuck around and Dan

isn't good at reading went under pressure out hey look I'll be the first to say that's a sensitive issue you're in a proper reading class weren't you no I wasn't I was a terrible reader no but what was the class you're in Oh no, that was a maths for special maths class Yeah, like a booster math class I was sitting next to a guy and he used to go Who? Never got the answer right, isn't you?

And I'll tell you what, he was smarter than me So that's saying something But look how far you've come babes True Not on maths, I think I've gone backwards Since then See, I had to go to an interview And I haven't got time for this

So I walked out And the world kept spinning, guys You don't need me I'm only feeling anyway I'm a ring in Clint was sorry He was like oh my God Is she okay

I'm nervous, I've hurt her feelings. I was like, Clint, shut it. Who cares? You don't know me very well if you think I would get legitimately upset by pretty much anything you can say. And I think Ash knows me well. I'd have to know that I would not do that. He was like, oh, I'm so nervous. I was like, Ash is just like, I got shit to do it and I don't have time for this.

She's just, we're at that age, similar age where it's just kind of like, eh, my time is more valuable than this shit. He called Jamie his wife. He's like, I'm scared. I'm scared. Maybe we've been happy. Well, okay. I did one of two things, Ash. So you've got a, it's a multi-choice.

Okay. You either get that, or I said, I need to cut you. Webgill Bella, can we turn that into a video and title it Ash's first walkout? It only took us two months. Yeah, of course that's what you do. And also, as a content, brain myself, the correct choice.

Yeah, so that video is coming out probably later today. That's what I'd actually said. Did I say any sea words? Yeah, I don't think so. Okay, almost I didn't say sea word, because my mum doesn't know I say that word. Oh, does it? Sorry.

Oh, my Jesus. Dad, that's disgusting. You're in front of a microphone. Don't blame me. What's the worst, moment you've had on radio. Let's have a discussion about that. Like what's the moment? You don't have to name names or anything

where you've gone. Jesus. What happened there? I know you're one and it happened here. It wasn't necessarily radio but it was on a podcast and they left it in. Don't. No, no, no, you have to say that. Absolutely not. I'm still so mortified. I was pre-recorded end balls on a podcast.

You've tried to save my ass there and I appreciate that. It was on radio, yeah. And I'd pre-recorded something and an off-air conversation got left in and What's the like, without giving too much away? I said fucking pussy. Okay. On more effect as well.

Imagine that. Just you listening to it. And that was Spandau Bellet. I'm going to make you cut all that. He can't know it was on wood. Oh, there you go, Neeps beat that. It wasn't me for once. But I reckon I've had worse.

Actually, it was me. Like when a caller will call up and like say something like really personal, very, like, not inappropriate. but not the kind of thing that you should be sharing with millions of, and then you have to, like, respect the caller and not just, like, cut them off, but also make it clear to the listeners that you didn't know that were going to say that. That is it, because that's so out of your hands.

Yeah, yeah, true. But I think in Australia you have the dump button, right? We've got seven seconds, so I don't never get to wait. If you've got, if Clint was on the buttons, you'd be fine. But sometimes people, like, if you're with someone who isn't a very experienced panel op, they may get a bit like, and forget to dump it or not dump it correctly. It's a long time, though, if someone says something here, one, two, three, three, would you dump it or would you?

It's normally the time where you're looking at each other going, is that worth dumping, I suppose? But by the time they've said it, you can't reverse it here. Yeah, it's done. Oh, no, you can't hear we've never had a dump there. A good dumper, a good dump, a good paddle op in Australia would be like, okay, I've got seven seconds to rewind, go back in time, cut it when I need to cut it and keep the break going. Find someone's natural finishing. Cut it and keep talking and pretend it ever happened. Wow, that's a lot to think about.

Where someone bad would just dump the show and then often like a PSA will come up, oops, someone said something naughty. So we've had to dump the show. We'll be back after this ad break. Oh, that'd be me. And then the show would never come back. And I'd be like, guys, I don't know how to bring it back.

Sometimes I've known people who you've worked with a panel up that you didn't trust or like there isn't an agreement over where it should be dumped. And it's in the moment. And people look into like, no, we're fine. And if you really want to dump it, then you just start going, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And then they have to dump it.

Yeah. Because the person who didn't say, it's like, it's fine. The person who did say it's like, well, it's my career, not yours. It's on me. I'll get cancelled. Dump it, yeah, yeah. What's your worst thing, Dan? We've talked about it before when we called someone on live on radio, and they were like a celebrity person in New Zealand to ask them,

we were talking about what's the difference between a crumpet and a muffin, which is a stupid thing to be doing. No, wasn't that a pancake and a pikelet? No, it was a crumpet and something, actually. It was definitely a crumpet and something. It's just two things that are like, there's almost no definition. And they were like, you know, no, this person. So we called them.

won't say the name because, and was live on here, they answered, and they were like, what's the difference? And she, and they were like, I've just found out my father's just passed away. Live on here. Oh my God. But what is it? What do you need? What do you need?

And they're like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It's just the difference. I would have never asked. It's just a different, like, we'll just leave it. Would you just hang up? And then she was like, no, just ask me what you want? And they said, what's the difference between a crumpet and a muffin?

And she went, no, it doesn't. doesn't actually matter. There's a fucking lot of difference where to crump it and a muffin. I know, it wasn't that. It was something like that. I think it was pancake and pieclut.

Maybe a cruffin and a muffin. You know the other thing I used to do a producer show? I'll say it was Robert and Jono on the Rock. And it was a great show. One of the most successful drive shows. Is that John O'Pry? John O'Rae.

He was with Jono and Ben. He was with Robert and John O'Hon. Robert is Robert Taylor. He's a very legendary broadcaster. He's on the sound now. He's the tall guy. Yeah, and we used to do a segment called Wind Up Your Wife, again, very famous segment in New Zealand where we'd each week on a Wednesday, wind up your wife Wednesday, we'd call, usually it was someone's wife, that's where the name came from, and we'd wind them up. And it'd be the husband that would call up and be like, oh, my wife, my wife, my wife, miss those, you know.

But it expanded beyond that over the years, eh? And so there was this one day, it was during exam time, and this guy called up and dobed in his best mate, who he found out had cheated in one of the, the exams, and we called him, and from the NZTA, whatever, I mean, New Zealand, like, education, whatever it was. I was like the land transport, that should have been in this, the PTA, whatever, I don't know, and said that we'd found out he was cheating, and we're going to call his parents, okay, it was live on here, and he started crying, and then hung up the phone. And then, so we went off here and we were, like, trying to call it, because he was crying,

you know what people will do in this situation, and we couldn't get hold of him, we were trying to call we had like people calling him calling his parents to like find out and then like it took like hours before we could get hold of him again he was fine he was fine he just hung up and didn't want to you know but like there was this time yeah we have ruined his life and if you know jonah and uh robert they're like the most caring people you'll ever meet and you know it was just a bit of a gag but unfortunately it's gonna be so careful with the old uh gags a when they're like we just I can't do any pranking just I just well you know me I'm like what's the whole premise was you'd wind them up though and then hope

they'd get angry, but then at the end, you'd bite the end of the call. You'd got 500 bucks, thanks to Novus or whatever. Yeah. But you guys are real gun-shy as well and probably rightly. So after it was the queen call, the nurse, the nurse ended up handing the phone to...

Yeah, it was a duo on a night radio and Princess Catherine who just had a first baby and they thought it'd be funny to call the hospital pretend to be the queen, thinking in no universe we're ever going to get through. And they ended up getting through to like her private, like the last The last nurse before the, you know, four levels.

Before they handed to the new mum. Yeah, exactly. And it went to air and they're all like high-fiving. That was amazing. That was amazing. And then the nurse committed suicide. Now, she had made attempts on her life before. So, like, horrible stuff, but left a note saying she blamed it,

which is, you know, I think very, very unfair of the nurse to do that. But lots of lessons were learned from radio in Australia after that. What happened to them, to those hosts? So the female left radio and the male's still in radio. Oh, right, but they would have stepped down for a while, eh? I think they were taken off air for a while, but just, and the company probably should have protected them more and, but everyone chose to wipe their hands of it. Of course, but it scarred us all forever.

And I think the time that we did that other wind-up your wife thing that I was talking about just before, was a similar time to when that all happened in Australia. And so there was a real lot of, you know, it was scary at the time. What about the hold your wee for wee? Remember they're like the Nintendo? Wii, when that first came out, there was a radio show that did hold your Wii for a Nintendo Wii, and these people held their Wii, and then maybe it was also in 5 grand, or I don't know why, but I assume there must have been cashed, because some people held their Wii for

so long that it's actually like, well, it killed one of the contestants. Really? They died from it, and I was like, nah, that's bullshit. And I googled it. And they talked about a radio station where somebody died, because when you're holding it that long, things can happen and burst and whatever else, I don't know, and they got some infection or whatever and they died from it If you Google it and it'll come up

I'm not sure if it was a UK radio station But it's one of those ones where you think Oh like harmless fun hold your wee Win a Nintendo Wii and you get two people We'd last one hour max in that show Well we wee wee the whole show Because we drink so much water So much water

Here's another one I've heard about Australian radio You can correct me if I'm wrong There was a guy maybe 10 years ago Known as Trough boy I don't know this one Oh Troth He died Trough

Because he used to go in lying urinals and he got poisoned from urine once and died. I've never heard of that in my life. I reckon someone's pulling your leg, bags. Trough boy. Trough boy. Mike, did he work on the station? I think he was like a producer and, yeah, I don't know.

No, I think it was just an urban legend kind of thing, but I think he was just a bloke and it was just like his fetish. Oh, so you've heard of Troughboy? I've heard of Troth Boy, definitely, yeah. And he, like, go around festivals and concerts and just line for your own. And he died, didn't he? I didn't know he died The radio station was in California

KDND contest called Hold You Wee for a Wee They drank large amounts of water Without urinating to try to win the console And during the contest A 28-year-old mother of three Jennifer Strange died of water intoxication Who even knew that could happen? That is rough going

Yeah Really rough going, yuck, yuck, yuck And that's why when we throw out ideas Oh we could do this And then he wants to go Could someone die or could something tear away. And then you go, well, there's a 1% chance that maybe,

and then the whole promo gets canned. All right, baby, let's go to a chocolate lottery, close your eyes. And then you're going to throw it to me, and I'm going to be able to catch it. No, no, no, she's going to eat it. Oh, right. Oh, we've got to play the intro. Okay. We've got an intro.

I love an intro. You can open your eyes properly. Is it a picnic or is it a twirl? You be the judge. Let's give it a world. It's the edge of chocolate. Lootery. Can't spell lottery with two O's and one T.

That makes me believe that we're safe in our jobs if we can't do lottery. You can't go, can't spell that wrong. He means lottery. Yeah, Grammley didn't save my ass on that one. He usually gets most things. Are we going to try and get a, just before we start this, an AI version to do our jobs tomorrow? Remember we're thinking about doing that, like an AI radio show?

Yeah, you skip that ago. No, work for Carver. There you go, thanks, that. No, he just needs to go radio show into AI. Yeah, but he needs to, like, plug our, like, hours of our audio into it so we can learn our voices. He pulled a choir out of his ass this week. That'll be easy.

Yeah, and then I put them back in, too. That was the hard part. If it can learn our voice, it's great. Otherwise, if not, you can just try and give it our personality so we can hear what a three-person show similar to us would sound like with AI. But it'd be great if it could learn our voices. Yeah, that'd be great, wouldn't I? Can I eat the chocolate now?

Because I'm holding it in my hands, salivating at the thought of how many of how you know. Do one now, and then we'll do a duo and see if you can pick both chocolates at this after this one. I could do two at once. Okay, let's do it now. I've got to spit it out, though. I can't be having two chocolate. Okay, close your eyes, doll. Okay, Dan, Clint's horn.

Am I doing it at the same time? Just me this time. Fuck. You've already had seven chocolates. Damn, you have fucking... You're lucky there's even any left to play. That's fucking... Wait, weren't those our chocolates for the producers?

Yeah, I've got another bag. Oh, perfect. Okay, close your eyes, go. I've had nine. Fucking, how, saliva much. Hmm, it could be saying, again, kind of soft. like a boostie but then I'm thinking the boostie

had a bit of a crunch and that one doesn't so I'm going to go soft texture kind of mushy I'm going to go like a cherry ripe you fucking legend yeah come on you good bastard

you fucking good bastard oh man next okay now you get another one out and you see if you can pick two at two at the same time okay I've got to turn your marks up okay oh come on here Here we go.

Wait, when he's starting? Now, here we go. Okay, because the problem is then I'm unsure if I'm like, I'm trying to time the crunch because I'm like the whispery thing. I'm going, I think you've both gone the same. you've both gone the same chocolate bar. I think you both...

One's definitely got a picnic. I need to see the box. What are the other ones? You've got picnic, cherry ripe. Crunchy, Morrow, boost, dairy milk. Turkish delight, twirl, caram milk. Oh, fuck. I'm going to go...

Crunchy and picnic. Come on. He's got it. He's bloody good. He's the best at it. Unbeatable. Unbeatable. Get it on his headstone when he dies.

Could pick her favourites from the sound. What you didn't see, Clint, is Ash spitting out her chocolate like she was tasting a fine wine into a spittoon because I don't know why. But that breakfast bowl next to it is just full of chewed-up chocolate. Yeah, because I've got to go to the gym today and it's just undozzle all the gym. Let me count one. Two, four, five. Yeah, I'm getting stronger too, and I'm actually getting more addicted to the gym

because I'm actually really seeing the increase. Ten chocolates. Let's see how many calories in each chocolate. Yeah, go on. So serving is... So serving per package is 10. So two pieces is one serving. So you've had five serving.

So you've had 65 grams of sugar. And two serve? In two or across the 10? Across the 10. And you've had 1,000 kilojoules. Thousand kilojoules. That sounds cool. How many calories are in a kilojury?

So that's sugar. So the 65 grams sugar, that's like you're having almost... Two cans of Coke, full sugar. Or 12 teaspoons of sugar. 12 teaspoons of sugar. You're going to be on that jimble-drub tomorrow. See, that doesn't seem like a lot to me. What?

Not like eating all those chocolates. That'll be my lunch. That's my lunch. So we had 240 calories. If you wanted to be in a deficit, that's a quarter, a fifth of your daily day. 240 calories for 10 chocolates? That's not bad.

That's not bad at all. I may as well have had a cracker. That's nothing. I got it wrong. Sorry, no, I got that wrong. It's actually... 12,000. Yes, it's double up.

It's fine, Dylan. Let yourself live a little bit. I wonder as well, you know how, like, you get on the treadmill, or like the assault bike or something, and this is the thing that gets me going. I'll be on a rowing machine, it'll tell me how many calories I'll burn. Give the exalt bike, I've been on for 10 minutes,

and they'd be like, you burned 74 calories. Yeah, no, I never look at that, man. Oh, my God. So then you realize that whole time I haven't even burnt half a chocolate bar on the assault bike, and then it makes you know what to take. anything, but I'm like, how many calories am I just burning, just existing?

So many, my aura ring tells me. Yeah, because I'm like, so within an hour, if I'm doing no exercise, I'm just sitting here, doing a show, how many calories are my burning? And also when you're anxious and your heart beats faster, that's burning calories. I should be negative 10 kilos. Sometimes I'm going to go to the gym after

like a hard show because I've been thinking so much in the show, that I'm like, oh, that's burnt enough. What shows are you doing that? That's mean. All the shows, all the shows carrying all fucking their ass on those shoulders you and have me on your shoulders

and be farting all down your neck yeah well that's another calorie burner right there me having to block that out that's bullshit though I see those studies talking about how many calories you can burn farting and I was like that can't be true

when you look at your salt bike and you think oh when you burn the colours think of the heart health when your heart rates going up that's making your heart so much more resilient it's much stronger I listen to some cardio vascular doctor or whatever

and he was talking about the best thing you can do isn't getting on a treadmill for like an hour. Best thing you can do is the four and one and you do it four times. So you do four minutes of vigorous exercise on whatever it is to a point where you're not exhausted and you feel like you're going to die

but you're going like 80% so that you couldn't have a conversation or you'd struggle to have a conversation with someone. You do four minutes of that and then you have a one minute chill. Get all your energy back. And then just do that four times. That's 20 minutes.

He's like that is going to be better for you than anything else. Sure. It's like interval training so good because your heart rate's going up and holding it and then you stop, bring it back down again. 4-1, 4-1, 4-1, 4-1.

I don't do it enough. I just burnt 1,500 calories last night, about 9pm. Did you? Furiously masturbating. Yes, for three minutes. What was that I doing? Was she having a girl's night? She went out, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was swimming. Anyway, you're sexual deviant. Can you not just say I was furious? Why can you just say masturbating? Because you 1,200 calories would need to be furious masturbating, not just like chin-tural masturbating. I don't think I've ever furiously masturbated in my life. Angry masturbator. I would use no calories masturbate because it's just like,

Zzz. No part of my body is moving. Meanwhile, Dan's booking him with a physio to get his wrist fixed again. Tennis elbow back. How did you do this? He's got his loyalty card, clicking another one, free session next week. I have a friend of mine who is a physio. Oh God, here we go.

And this is years and years and years ago. And she had a teenage client come in with his mom. He's got these, like, really sore elbow. And it's happening when he's playing football. And the mom had to take a call. And he's like, I've got to level with you. It's not hurting when I play football. It's only hurting when I wank.

It's like, okay, show me the action. And he, like, put his hand. And he's like, okay, now I know where to this. No way. She had to, like, he had to mimic when he was. He just said to hurt when he plays tennis or something. He just said to say, hold your elbow in the, Okay, that's, okay, now, and this is the exercises you really need to do.

Because how often in football are you running and doing that? Yeah. Whoa. So you hadn't heard it from wanking, but the pain was coming when he was wanking. But he said, I was when I blow football. What is he just used his other hand? I don't know. Didn't ask, I wasn't there.

Aren't you ambidextrous when you're doing that? Nah, it always feels real, way too weird. You can't get the right. But what happens when your right arm starts fatiguing down? Why are you looking at me like I'm a professional? I don't know, Clint. And also, Dan is having more sex than all of us combined. Yes, exactly.

You know what? I actually can't remember the last time I did in a lone solo session, to be honest, Clinton. To be honest. To be honest. Well, he sounds like he's lying because he's overselling the truth. Honestly, I seriously can't remember. Good for you, Daniel. Although I can't remember what I did yesterday sometimes.

So he's probably beating his meat. He doesn't remember. He's playing the old skin flute. Yeah. No, no, I don't do that. Clint's the only one that does that. Yeah. Why do you always do band practice with the boss?

No, Ash is doing band practice with the boss. Oh, she definitely is, but that's because she's married to him. Thanks, guys. I'll get Dan and Ash to clean it up next time. Rover, Music, Radio, podcasts.