The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS - NO DAN, I'm not editing this out.

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Come for the chat, stay for the trauma bonding. This is Clint McGinn-Dand-Dan's Onlyfans. Podcast, that is. Kilda, welcome to OnlyFans, a podcast that sits alongside our show recap. So if you're looking for Tuesday's podcast, it should be just above or just below. Fun show, too. Today, if we do say-say ourselves.

So I'm eating my Kenwa salad. I didn't know what we're doing so quickly. This is like the salad that never ends, or have you got multiple salads? No, it's just out that never ends. I haven't sat down to just cop it. I've just snucked for that, so gross to hear myself. Okay, great, because I was wondering if you were one of those people that doesn't have that thing where, okay, you do have that.

Misophonia. Like, well, you're masticating, but there's a, oh no, misophonias or me, it's like lots of noises, I think, and, like, there's just too many noises, and it's very overwhelming. And she works in radio? Yeah, right. But, yeah, masticating. That's different to what Dan's known for.

Fancy word for chewing. Yeah. He's masticated. You could have just had chewing, babe. Yeah, but sometimes it's nice to show off your big words. That's true. I got a vocab app once and I tried to learn like three new words a day. Sick. But then, I don't know.

Hope not sporadically. Do you know that reference? Huh? Do you know that reference? Hope not sporadically. And clueless where Cher tries is like brings the, um, what's the girl's under her wing to, like, teach her how to be a cool girl. And she says, you need to learn new words. So, like, teach yourself a word a day.

Today's word is sporadically. And then like later on this end, she's going, she's leaving. She says, see you later. Hope not sporadically. so you're her tie that's her name where's Dan I'm unsure Dan has is not able to make our only fans

but I heard we do have a special guest He had to shoot off He's got a meeting But he's sending someone in to take his place When are they coming in? They're on their way now Looks like right about now Oh there's a woman coming in

Who is this? That's a nice dress How'd do they? Hello my darling Oh, Lend I didn't recognize I was like, I didn't recognize the red hair.

You've tied you here. I've dyed my hair. I like her because it matches your dress. Also in your dress you used to always wear the, he had like a yellow with like a, almost a tie-dye purple that ran through it. No, I like this dress, but it's very flattering.

No, I hadn't washed that dress in about seven years. Yeah. It was getting all crusty around the gusset, so I've changed it. Right. Gusset. Who's this woman? Oh, this is Ash.

We have actually met before. I don't remember it. Yeah, she's filling in for Meg on her met. I love Meg. Isn't she gorgeous? She's a lovely eye. Meg and I, oh my goodness, me. We vibe.

And Clinton and I spent a night of together once many years ago. Did you? No idea of passion? I want you to win me over today. What's her name, Ashley? Ashley. I'm not going to try. I'm just going to chill, you know. I'm just going to match your vibe.

You don't want to be too try hard. No, exactly. I want to be a cool hang. Brilliant. So is it true that you like a, have a. spiritual powers? Well, I like to think that I've got, I'm a bit woo-woo in all the senses of the word. I can do past readings. I can do future readings. I do a bit of tarot. Yeah, I can do do anything, really. Okay, well, I've made an appointment for this week for something quite intimate.

Can you tell me what it is and if it's going to go well? I believe that... Intimate appointment. Intimate appointment. I do believe that you, my darling, you come across like you're a very health conscious person and you like to know a lot about your life and what's happening. I reckon you've booked in to have some sort of thing put up your bottom. What are those things? Well, I was actually referring to my Brazilian wax that I had booked, but I am getting my poo tested, so she's bloody good.

Oh, see, I got a vibe. Even when it's not what I was specifically thinking of, you still knew. Have you got a hairy more to you, darling? At the moment, yeah. Yes, because I've got it. one of those. How does she do it? How does she do it? How did she know? I must say, let it go free, I say. You know, I haven't waxed in 17 years. And, you know, it starts to fall out after a while. It reaches the critical mass. Right. And the heaviness of the pubic hair and it just

sort of comes out. And I say, you know, just let it go. Let it go. Ladies out there if you're listening, oh my goodness me. That's what I say. Your minge, your choice. Do whatever you want with you. That's what I say. You're minge, your choice. Yes, I've always said that. Clinton, any question? I've never heard you say that, London. Well, I said. Well, I said. said behind the scenes. I'd never said on air. Right. You've ever had your poop tested, Linda? Never. Never in a million years. No, wouldn't I? They sent me latex gloves to use.

How do you do that, my darling? Out of interest. So they give you a little plastic tray and the gloves and then you get like a like a cue tip in a vial and then like a bigger vire with liquid in another one. And so you do the poo in the tray, catch it in the tray. And then the first vial, you have to get this little scooper and get like three or four bits of different parts of the poo and put it in the vial. Jeez, I'm glad they make you do that like a DIY kit. Imagine that being someone's

bloody job. That's a self-job. The second one is just the cue tip and the third one is another, just little small segment of the paper. What do you do with the leftovers? You just put it in the toilet, flush it and then just throw out the tray. Put it in the fridge for tomorrow's after it's to darling. You never know when you're going to need it. Go ahead and check it on the neighbour's lawn. Yeah, put it in the microwave

two days later. Make sure you nuke it. But anyway, I will say this. Imagine how bad it would smell if you're new. Anyway. Continue, Linda. Sorry, darling. Good on you for getting, you know, house tested it. I mean, it's good. You can tell a lot of things from people's feces. I used to do feces readings.

Did you? Yes, you can just tell a lot about a person just by going through. Did they post the feces to you or was it a live feces? I'd do it live. Yeah, it has to be fresh. What can you tell from someone's poo other than whether they have a nut allergy or not? You can tell a lot, like what they had for breakfast, if they come on in the morning. You can also tell if they have, you know, how well they're eating, how much water they're drinking.

And just a general house, you know, you can see. What are you hoping to find out? I just want to find out about my gut microbiome, you know, like what bacteria needs to be eradicated, what needs to be fed. It also can tell if you have any, like, pathogens and bad stuff. Sounds expensive, is it? Yeah, it was. But I actually wanted to do it for about two years. So, as with all expensive things, I wait, and if I still really feel, like, that I want to do it.

And, yeah, because my, like, I'm perimenopause, I think, and my hormones are all a bit crazy. So I just want to get a good picture of my health. That's amazing. Speaking of hormones, how are your hormones, Linda? I've fully dried up down there, darling. I've been through menopause 17 years ago. You've got a bit of stubble coming through. Are you doing mova?

Clinton, I don't think you should ever comment on a woman's facial hair. You don't comment on ashes. Why, vomit, comment on mine? No, but I will say this. We all know it's there. We just don't say anything, we all agree. And once you go through menopause, darling, you don't give a fuck. Really?

You know, you just start, let yourself go. What? Chess tear as well poking through. Yes, okay, let's stop. Actually, Linda, what happens when you go through menopause, by the way? What happens when you go through it? What were your symptoms? I had hot flushes.

First of all, that's when I first knew I was going through it. Are you on any, like, estrogen patches or anything? No, no, God, no. So after you got the hot flushes, then what happened? Happy days. I sort of just sort of like, oh, there we go. And I sort of started getting a bit grumpy, and things started drying up down there.

And that's when I knew it was a bit... It gets very dry. Does you have to do anything or just wait it out? Any day, I stopped having my period. Right. Obviously, that's what happened. Period. Period.

Yes, that's how we said in UK. Oh, you're English? Yes, darling. Penny's dropped, yes. I was related to Queen Elizabeth. Were you? I was wearing of her and legitimate sisters.

Illegimate. You need to have that wig off, though, it is disgusting. It's not a way, darling, this is my real hair. It's just not like one of those Jenna Jackson stories. You know, she's been going around

saying Stevie Wonder's her cousin and then, tell me our Jackson's her cousin. We were distant sisters. What are you doing? Taking a photo off me? Yeah, just for socials. Well, don't put it on social, my darling. I will say this.

You know what? I don't know what I was going to say. But I will say that menopause, every woman goes through it and we all experience it in different ways. I had hot flushes and a bit of dryness in the vagina. It'll come in different ways. And just get on the HRT. You deserve it.

Can I get a reading while you're here. It'd be silly not to about what my summer's going to look like. What your son's going to look like. He's going to look a bit like you and your wife mixed together. No, my summer. Oh, your summer. Let me have a look. I think she's having a stroke

Maybe there's so much to look through Like if it's a picture book We all know what your son's going to look like, babe You're getting drunk by the pool on this bar For two months That's pretty That's what I had Yeah

But we all know Well Jamie just weights on your hand and foot With like snack platters and shit I made some chicken nipple bites for you Oh got a cheese pole Some order tolla babe Oh my Love. Have you got some marital issues, darling?

I see arguments. I see a lot of alcohol consumed. You are quite right there, Ashley, but I am also seeing avoidance of an issue. Right. I can see that you're avoiding an issue that is a big issue in your marriage. And I can see that you're going to be making a big purchase, a big purchase on a vehicle that is designed by Elon Musk. No, no, he's not going to do that, is he? Because we'd have to question everything we know and respect about Clint if he made that sort of a decision of way would put his money into the arms of a psychotic trillionaire. I think you've nailed it on the head there, darling.

I think he is going to be spending it. You know what? I'll never fight with you again. I'll never say you're wrong, but you're wrong on this because Clint wouldn't do that, would you, Clint? I can see you also. You'd never do that, would you click? You'd never purchase a new Tesla, would you, Clint? You'd never put the money into the pockets of a.

I don't, I feel like it wouldn't make. Donald Trump elected. Wouldn't make too much of a different. He doesn't like him now. They're not even friends, are they? Yeah, but he got him elected. There's the fact that Donald Trump doesn't even like him as saying something, isn't it, Ashley?

Exactly. I don't think me buying a car's got to affect the wallet of Elon Musk. Well, it does because more people buy his cars, the more his stocks go up, no money he gets. He'd be like, you bought a car in New Zealand. And then Elon would be like, oh, cool, another 13 cents for me. There we go, another argument. I am going to say it rather...

Maybe the fight that he's seeing is actually me and you. And not me and Jamie. There is going to be a night where you sleep out of wedlock with an older woman with ginger hair. Oh, you wish. Maybe another night where you thought the first time you did it was just amazing and you go back for one last try. Bring scissors.

Bring scissors. Oh, Jesus. Actually, bring a weed whacker if you could. I do have one. Make sure it's on the power setting. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Now, it's a petrol one.

It's on petrol, so. That's fine. Thanks for visiting England. It was great to see you again. It's a tooth stroke. Bring a weed wacker, a toothpick, and get a good attitude. You're disgusting, Linda. Get out of here.

It's not often that I miss Dan. We bring Dan back. Yeah, today might be the day. Here is. Hi, darling. Welcome back. Linda was real weird today. Oh, was she?

She's still here. She's still here. What's your name? My name's Dan. What's yours? My name's Linda. You are very handsome looking man Oh, thank you Linda

That's very kind of you It's weird that we've never met before I must say Wow, now's the moment Come here big boy Okay Oh no He's literally

Narrating himself Oh you're about to kiss it and Clint You are so fucking weird No you know what's gonna happen He's gonna make producers And he'd never edit this bit out Yeah, let it need ya Has to edit the ending of like 50% of our podcasts.

We're not editing this out. Do you mind if I kneel down in front of you, big boy? Do what you want, Linda. Maybe I already had to edit it yesterday's. He had to come back in and edit it because you forgot. All right, love you, God. I'm stopping you before, while you're ahead. I see you guys.

Good to see you. Thanks for coming in, Linda. It was a pleasure and not a jaw. Don't speak with your mouthful, Linda. No, my dad always told me that. Oh, God, stop. Music, radio, podcasts.