The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS not a good poddy for Dan

Episode Date: May 4, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. This is the OnlyFans podcast with Clint, Meg and Dan. It's not meant to be as explicit as the actual OnlyFans, but most of the time it is. Welcome to OnlyFans. Yes, welcome to OnlyFans. Where Clint is going to perform for us, Meg. What a joy. Dan tried to do welcome to OnlyFans, but he, because I was doing something stupid behind

the scenes, but he doesn't push record so no one heard me singing an old song from the Probably fucking 60s or 70s, but kind of gonna perform today. So this is great me sit back. Well, I performed on Friday When Dan couldn't am I right me when Dan couldn't perform on Friday. I stepped up and I performed. He was a good friend. But the problem is that's like asking, you know, someone with no voice to sing a song. I don't have a voice down there. I find it very hard to conjure a voice. Whereas Clarenda has a great, Clarenda has a very good singing voice. Oh Clarenda has many, I was going to ask how'd your wife like the the poster they got framed

for your birthday? Oh yes. Is it a bit like yucky for your house? No, no, no. He got me a gift for my birthday. She got in touch with Rawley who plays Junior Bevel badass mother, the little guy who trips everyone up in cool runnings and then he ends up selling his car and paying for all the boys to go and do the bobsledding thing. You all know who I mean. And everyone knows, I don't even know why I'm con- Junior Bevel, that's all I had to say. And Meg got in touch with him and he had a poster that he got all the boys to sign that he'd just been hanging on to. When they didn't sign it recently, they signed it years ago. I don't know, actually I was talking to him about that. I actually genuinely don't know if it was old signed from the movie days

or if it was recently, because they did one of those Armageddon's and they were all together like two weeks ago. But it's almost cooler if it was signed years ago when the movie was... I think it was original. Meg, you were saying that Rawley only had two bits of memorabilia from the movie. So this poster was signed by the boys and then a little figurine Bob said that was signed. And that was signed, so I think they were both when the movie was made.

But the crazy thing is because he said he's giving one to his nephew. So the only last piece of memorabilia he has is this one poster that's being signed and he gave it to you. And I don't know and I'm sure he doesn't but I don't know if he regrets it because when I sent him a photo of it framed and stuff he's like oh what do you say because I want one now. He had it rolled up in a like a tube, in a wardrobe being like no whatever it's doing nothing and now that it's all framed up and it's going to be in like a prime location in my house he's like fuck that's what I should have done. Isn't that a cool thing? Like you must, have you like stepped back and gone,

shit, shit, like, Kid Clint, back when I was like 10 years old, imagine now, like that you got a signed poster from the star of that show movie on your, the wall of your house. Yeah, and the problem is, I look at it exactly like that, but nobody really else does, except my brother was round he goes holy shit and he was

like is that the real Sinji? He goes how the fuck did me get there? Like he was tripping balls as well. Or maybe getting Steven's Good Book. Yeah, cause she hadn't been in the past. And then my best mate as well, we've been friends, Kish, since we were like five years old and we vibed on like the same movies and Cool Runnings is like his favorite film as well. We always will throw Cool Running quotes at each other that no one else understands. Yeah, it's weird when they get together. And he was like, this is fucking unreal. He was like, how did you get hold of that? And then I was like, Junior Bevel commented on this post, Kish.

Like he's probably reading your comment. Kish was like, what the fuck? It was crazy. It was crazy, crazy, crazy. Yeah, but your wife who you live with, it's not too ugly to go in the house. No, well she hasn't said where do you want to put it or where can it go. It's in our bedroom at the moment with my naked photo of Justin Bieber, but in front of his crutch it says believe in yourself. How is that still there? Why is it still there?

Why do you put Junior Bevel up there? Yeah, well he can go there, but I actually thought I wanted him in the lounge. But like that Justin Bieber one, I've known you for probably like eight years and not as well as it. It's been there the whole time. And it's been there the whole time I've known you. Yeah, and then interesting enough,

JJ gave me that. Did she? Yeah. Really? Yeah, so the two female radio stars in my life. Why did she give that to you? That's so funny. Well, I was with JJ over the weekend as well.

Why did she give you that? I don't know, it was a birthday present. Shut the fuck up. Yeah and I don't know she just like got it for me and that's just good motivation when you're in the bedroom. You know you just whatever and you just see him saying believe in yourself. You must have been really into Justin Bieber because it is such an odd thing to randomly buy a naked Justin Bieber. You know how I didn't get you anything? Oh uh oh. No but you said it was gonna arrive on Monday. Yeah I didn't get you anything. Oh No, but you said it was gonna arrive on Monday. Yeah, I didn't get you I lied Oh, so my little gift to you right now. Oh No, I don't want to suck your ass or whatever you're gonna say

What ass is going big in no you have the next two minutes To come up. Now I'm going to give you a minute. One minute and you can discuss with Meg if you want. I will do anything right now during this podcast for you. I cannot say no except the only veto I will do is no nudity. Okay, Daniel please leave the studio. No, no, I have no, I'm going to be present. No, but we want to discuss it for a minute. Yeah, but I can't say no. I'm not going to say no.

Okay, we want to discuss it for a minute. Okay, Clint, I know it's your birthday, but I'm here to help. Go, go. Okay. Okay, no nudity. You've got a minute. I'm going to start the timer. I'm going to be with you longer than a minute.

So I'm going to start the timer in three, two, one, go. Okay, you want him to go into the office or do something, right? Like talk to somebody, embarrass himself. I initially thought of that, then I thought of something better. He said anything but not Nudity. I want him to go outside the studio and go to an ATM and withdraw $1,000. I don't have $1,000 so I can't do that. Oh, so that feels like two rules.

Okay, now give us an extra 30 seconds because we've wasted that time. What if we just get like $500? We get him to go out there. He can't do Nudity. Okay, it has to be done within the podcast. One of Dan goes and gets a bunch of $5 notes, like $100 worth of $5 notes, and then he drops them from the balcony, and all the ones I can catch on the floor I get to keep.

But if they hit the floor, they're his. So I'm gonna, like he just drops cash and go everywhere. What if I print out fake money? And we can do that. And then we can cross to you guys. I can print out fake money right now. And you're gonna be able to do that right now? Yes, I can. A thousand five dollar notes?

I can't do a thousand but I can do lots. What do we do, like a hundred dollars worth? Or two hundred dollars worth of five dollar notes? I don't know how many I'll actually catch. You've gotta pay him out with however many he catches. This is abhorrent. Is this all you've got? Is that what you wanna do, Clint? All Dan has is money.

Well, we're gonna be sitting here while you print out fucking money. Okay, well then we can do something else. We can get him to call somebody. That'll be the end of this podcast. I'll give you another minute to come up with something better. Okay, why don't we get him to call his ex, Freya, and then... Oh, she's changed her number, so I can't... He's like, right, I'll get the money out.

Okay. Give me a minute. Come on, come up with something good. The pressure is quite I'll get the money out. Okay. The pressure is quite intense with you sitting right there actually. I like the idea of trying to I've always wanted to be one of those money machines where like the wind blows around. But that's not specific to Dan. You know you can do anything with Dan right now. Anything at all. With Dan we be. And he can't say no to you. Do we have a block doll? Do we have a block door?

Do we have a block door on Studio B? Carl normally has a block door. I've got a whole bunch of balloons I could make one. Yeah but again it's not going to be ready in like two minutes. No but we'll do it at the end of the pod. It'll be a nice thing to do. I could go up into the second floor of this building. Should we get him to make out on a piece of glass or something like we had to do all those years ago and make it a video and put it online? Do you remember we had to make out the piece of glass?

That was fucking mortifying for both of us. We'll do that if you want. That's why you want it for your birthday. Do we want that or? No way, because all my friends want us to all enjoy it. Do we get Dan to drop $100 worth of $5 notes and whatever we all get to keep before it hits the ground, we have to keep. It's up to you, Clay. We can't say We can't say anymore. I don't like that idea So if you catch three five dollar notes, there's that fifteen dollars is yours or making out with with a piece of glass We want you want a video of a making out with glass We film from the second for the listener with the with the

Yeah, because it's like fun making out you and the making out. Okay. Okay, so you want a cash grab car or making out? I like money. Okay, there's one each. Deeps, do you want him to drop money and we catch it and keep it? Or do you want him to make out with the glass? I'm pretty poor at the moment and I need to do my groceries, so money. Okay, Meg. I want to see Daniel make out with a piece of glass, but I want to take it really seriously. So it's down to you, we've got two all.

I need a coin. I don't have a coin. Oh, I saw a coin before. Oh, there's one in here. No, of course, we've got two all. I need a coin. I don't have a coin. Oh I saw a coin before, oh there's one in here. No of course Dan's got the money. All the people that have a coin. I've got the money, two print. Okay, okay Meg.

Yeah I've got it two print. I'm going to flip it on the desk in front of you. And what is it? These are the two best options you can come up with. You go have some of that. Neither of them really have anything in it for the listeners. One's visual and one's no one can win money. Yeah.

Won't they get to see the video online? Um, okay, so Heads, Dan puts his face, his head, face up against the glass and makes out with it. Yeah, yeah. And it's got, seriously, like, most seriously you can do it. No, lean on, I'll lean on. You can still get your $100 all back if we don't catch any of it before it hits the ground. You get to keep it. Tails, we're going to take your money.

So what's... Heads is the making out, tails is the money. One, two, three. I almost want... I want it to be the money. Tails! It's money. Money, okay. God, so now we've got to sit through fucking while you print out money.

I'm going to go print out... No, the producers do that behind the scenes. If you... Okay, yeah, I'll start printing something. A fake five dollar note is worth a real five dollar note when Dan goes up and drops it from there. So you're wasting money, wasting trees by printing out this money. Well you can make out with the glass while we wait. Why don't we just do post-it notes or something? Why don't you make out with the glass while we wait? I like that.

No, no, I'm not doing two. I said one thing and this is what you came up with. What a pathetic two thing. I'm ashamed that this is what you've come up with. Only in 60 seconds. He doesn't like it because it might cost him $100. What if I give you another 30 seconds to come up with one more thing? Do you have any ideas Dan? No because this is Clint's gift. I'm more than happy to do the money grabbing thing but it's just a bit boring. But do we actually, and then you're gonna give us, transfer us the money?

Before you kill trees just wait Do you want to do something else? No, I want your money No, I think you saying it's boring because you don't want to lose the money. No, it's only $100. It's fine I mean, I think I'll watch a video and Dan will make out the glass and then I'll go yeah I've seen him do worse. I'm saying you come up with something else, they're both shit ideas. Well we had 60 seconds. Do you have any baked beans? I miss the when you put baked beans down a sundae.

One day I want to see that. I had chopped chopped chicken and I didn't like the look of it so I binned it. I could get it out of the bin. You could get me to go out there right now into the office and do anything. I'd make out with hot Kate. Well I don't have to ever do that. Can I do that? I'll take the hit for that one.

Okay why don't you just go up to the boss right now Casey, grab him by both cheeks and give him a big smack on the lips. But this is Clint's thing. It's up to you Clint. And I think if we do the money, don't print it, we'll just use post-it notes that already exist. Don't waste trees. I like the narrative that it paints when they're like, what are you guys doing? I'm like, Dan's just giving away his money for fun. He just does it, does this with us on a Monday.

Everyone's like, OK, weird. Yeah, that'd work. Oh, post-it notes and just write $5 on them. That'd work. On 20 post-it notes. Oh, no, people will just know there's $5, so you don't need to write on it. Oh, yeah, that's true.

So then we can reuse the notes. That's true, we just need 20 of them. Okay, fun. Should we go there and do that? Yeah, I'm just printing this one off here. Oh, we're just gonna use post-it notes. Okay. We need a, um, uh... You sure you like this?

Yeah, I've got tons here. This is what you wanna do? Yeah. Last chance. You have a hundred of them? Nixon owns a Porsche and has a Rolex. He wants to know if he can play. He can play? He can play. Yeah, he can play.

Alright, we're doing this. We need to connect to the desk. I'm not fucking staying here. I'm catching money too. Yeah, me too. I want to catch it. Okay, so I'm going to have OB1 up. I actually think that it should just be Clint because it's his birthday. It should just be Clint that gets to get grabbed. Yeah, but I'm also like nice and I like to share with my friends. He's thinking because there's more chances for it to be grabbed.

Well, no, I'm just like I don't even want to do one transfer. So every five dollar note is what? Five dollars. So every post-it note is five dollars. So then we're only putting up 25. No, 20. 20. Meg, it's like you deliberately do that to give me a giggle.

20. He just dropped some, I wanted that. He's supposed to just throw it down. If you go one at a time while throwing it all, I think it would be silly to go one at a time. No, I'm not doing one at a time. If we put them off the ground, do we still count? No, once it hits the ground it's dead, it stands. Bro, get out of this.

I'm ready to play. I'm ready to play. If it touches the ground it doesn't count. 3, 2, 1, go! No! Oh my god! No! No, off the ground!

Not off the ground! Not off the ground! I got this! I got this! Yes! Yes! So I wrote it in the end? Oh no! Ten! Fifteen! Megan, we don't get anything!

We got none, but that's just... I got nothing! What is your birthday present? Megan and I were just generous. That's just, that's just... I got nothing! What is your birthday present? Meg and I were just generous. That's pathetic! Should we do it again? Yeah, go around. Thanks everybody, sorry.

Alright. You owe Reina 10 bucks. Bella, Bella got 15 bucks. Oh, shut up! That'll be her lunch. That's good. She works for Digital, she could do with that. And she's got a whole bunch of free booze from Meg this morning too.

I reckon that should be a birthday tradition. Like the birthday person gets money rained down on them and what you catch you keep. Yeah that's good actually. I feel like it was like an office thing back in the day where people would have to shout morning tea for their workmates. I can't read meds and stuff. Welcome back to the studio. And Clint, nothing. Rather than the shouting morning tea, it's like you should have to bring in a hundred dollars worth of five dollar notes.

Do you regret doing that, even the fact that you got nothing? No, but I like the joy it brought to like Rain The Rock and like, that was just out of the blue. They would have brightened her day. And then Bella seemed pretty excited as well. She normally just has to film. She got to be part of it. Nice ballet semi bank details. Oh, yeah. More than just Uncle Ben's full dinner this week. Yeah. Brilliant. Jesus. You only got $10 in you?

Yeah, four bags of Uncle Ben's. Perfect. What can you buy for dinner for $10? Some tinzah tuna.'s, perfect. What can you buy for dinner for $10? Some Tins of tuna. Oh yeah, like Tins of stuff. Lovely. Oh, $10, you could get a... A lunch deal, a curry lunch deal.

I love curry. Do you know, the other day, it was in the weekend, my wife thought people were gonna be coming over for dinner, so it was like going, buying all the stuff, and I was like, oh yeah, raw fish, snapper snapper tostadas and then she was like all we could do some Mexican stuff whatever and then when she realized they weren't or that they're already eaten she was like ah I won't bother now so I had noodles and a peanut butter sandwich. What kind of noodles? Like two minute noodles. What for your dinner?

What kind of noodles? The Chinese ones. Oh, and yeah, mee goreng. Mee goreng, yeah. Mee goreng. Pretty good. And then I wrapped them in a piece of white bread and ate a noodle sandwich. I was about to say, but wasn't that fucking delicious? Getting some mee goreng noodles and some white bread? I think that's great. Divine.

The instant gratification and not having to wait like 45 minutes for a meal to be made, right? Yeah. What friends were you going to have over that weren't me and Dan? Interesting. Bri and Sapphire. Oh yeah, that sucks. You're lesbians.

Yeah, thank yous. What is it, just because Meg and I aren't lesbians? No, it's because they're big Warriors fans. And they booked a table to go watch the Warriors down the road from us and it turns out they fucked their booking up. And they'd done the wrong time. Is that all we need to do? And then they were like, where are you watching? Well, they just at home. And then we're like, oh, Cameron Towles if you want. Turns out they fucked their booking up and they'd done the wrong time. Is that what we need to do?

And then they were like, where are you watching? We're like, just at home. And then we're like, oh, come round to ours if you want. Well, I like girls too, Clint. I wasn't invited. I also like girls. Yeah, Meg's actually probably like, she is a bi. I am a bi.

Yeah. So what about the Warriors? No, because they're too fucked about them. So you'd just be staring at my lesbian friends yeah yeah yeah it's actually a bit creepy yeah and I probably would have been looking at him as well to be honest yeah we had a rocky friendship at the start because I stared too much as well so they don't like that I forgot! I'm kidding

Give her a ring Hey we never found out from Dan's wife, Hannah. We were supposed to call her and find out if she found Dan's musical performances icky. Because some listener said that she's got this incredible boyfriend, but she went and watched him do amateur theatre, and it was so terrible. She's got the ick of him now.

We can try calling her, but she's so stressed. Let's call her. We can try, but she's so stressed. Let's call her. We can drive but she's so stressed let's call her. Yeah she won't have time for it. 021. Yeah. 4. Alright calling. Okay. Oh I need to put my headphones on. There's a damn tough Hannah. Do you want me to ask her? Yeah, you ask. We didn't get a chance today. Hi Hannah speaking. Hi Hannah, just quickly, just Dan.

Oh hi. Hey, um, Anne-Claire and Meg. This is just for the podcast, just really quickly, I know you're stressed. What's, did you get the ick from me when you saw me in The Great Gatsby? For the first time. When you were dating. Oh. Well, like, you pashed another girl, so of course I did, yes. Oh, you pashed another girl? Oh, that's not that.

Jealousy. It's acting. Yeah. She had bad breath. Oh, then you're right. Hannah's never had bad breath. Yeah, don't say that about another girl. So no ick, was it more of a turn on?

Did he look like a good pasha? Oh, it definitely wasn't a turn on, but I mean, I'm still with him. So clearly, there was it more of a turn on? Did he look like a good passion? Oh it definitely wasn't a turn on but I mean I'm still with him so clearly there was no acts. But would you say the performance was brilliant? Brilliant, 10 out of 10, best performance I've ever seen. Well so were you, no but okay this will prove it, at any point during or after the show did you say that's my boyfriend? No comments. It was when she sort of just left. People are like I see your boyfriend. I've got to go. Thanks. Bye Hannah. You go back to work and be powerful and amazing. We love you. Love you. Bye. So there you go. To me, honestly,

honestly, honestly, honestly, she got the ick from you. Oh, without a doubt. I keep doing this because it's the Great Gatsby, the stage version, and I keep going, old sport? What are you up to, old sport? Was that the accent? Yeah, that was the accent. I was Nick Carraway. Nick Carraway is Great Gatsby's best friend.

Where are you meant to be from? America. Just a general America. Is that American? No it isn't. Yeah. It's Swedish. Oh America.

That smells... No, sport. No that's not Swedish. Swedish is like this. I'm from Sweden. That's Swedish. Sounds like you've been hitting the head with a shovel. I'm from Sweden.

Come over to Stockholm. We're from Svaden or down there. I'd go... You know what? I would go to watch you do that for an hour. Yeah, me too actually. I would pay for that. I'm in the great God's space.

Especially if Hannah was there. I'd be sitting next to her and going, Hannah, that's your husband, right? I'm from Sweden. And Hannah would be so far down in her chair. I'll pick you up in my Volvo. From Sweden. And I'd just be like, does he,

how does he remember his lines Hannah? It's amazing how he does it. Give me something to say in from Sweden. Give me something to say. Well, at the moment all you say is I'm from Sweden. Yeah, but I can say other shit. Okay, I'm from Sweden. Yeah but I can say other shit. Okay, I'm from Sweden, I like to eat tin fish and go ice skating. I'm from Sweden and I like to eat tin fish and go ice skating.

I can't pay so much money. Oh my god. It's not a good thing. It's like a kid, you sound like a dude who went ice skating, fell and smashed his head and got some sort of brain injury at an early age. I'm from Sweden. That's not good, Dal. It's not good. Heyo. Okay, what about... My name is... What's the Swedish name?

Sven. My name is Sven. My name is Sven. And... And... Wait for me to finish this sentence. Wait for me to finish the sentence. Wait for me to finish your sentence. My name is Sven.

I like to go and get ice from my ice princess sister-in-law with my reindeer. I can't remember a word you just said. My name's Sven and I like to go and get ice from my sister-in-law whose name's Eden. Thank you Dan for your addition. We'll call you and let you know if you've been successful. The worst foodie text that I've ever heard. What's your name? Megan.

Do your best accent then. I don't have, but I'm not claiming. Oh you can't, she can't do a Chinese. Because I'm not claiming. Even on the OnlyFans. Do your Chinese. I can, I, I, no I can't. You can, you do a lot of accents.

You're just, she always does some of the Michael. Do you know what I actually think is mean when people don't do like, like an Asian accent. I don't have to do an Asian accent. I don't have to do an Asian accent. I don't have to do an Asian accent. I don't have to do an Asian accent. I don't have to do an Asian accent. I don't have to do an Asian accent. I don't have to do an Asian accent. I don't. You can. You do a lot of accents. Do you know what I actually think is mean when people don't do like an Asian accent? I don't know how to do an Asian accent. Do you know how many Asians are in the world? They're a majority.

Come on, Meg. I don't do accents. She's just going to give herself time for that. The only time I've ever been somewhat close to an accent is like a, I think, like Nigerian accent because I had a wonderful man who took my bloods one time and he had the most relaxing soothing voice ever. That's why I replayed in my head. You know how normally you say something stereotypical of that accent, so you're like, Olleh patettos!

And then you go from there, just say the stereotypical thing in your head, and then do your accent. Go on Meg, do it for me. I'm not doing an Asian accent, I've never done one before. Stop making out that I've ever, ever, ever in our history. Meg, Vietnamese is Asian. Guys, this is absolutely outrageous. Yeah. Alright, fine.

Meg will do it tomorrow. Fuck off. Promise? No! Alright, thank you. See you then guys. Bye, I'm from Stockholm's Faden.