The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS one of us is off...

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

This is a podcast from Rover. Not your mum's podcast, unless she's into absolute filth, in which case. Respect. This is Clint Meg and Dan's Only Fans. Podcast, that is. Yolta, and welcome to The OnlyFans podcast with myself, Clint, Meck and Dan. Let's all harmonise quickly to see if we're in tune. Oh, you go one then and the other.

Yeah, so I'll start. I'll go. Okay, one of us was off. I don't know who, never know. We'll never know. We'll never know. Okay, I have a game that you guys could win as long as you are very honest with me that you can admit that you've never seen it before. But if you have not seen this before,

I will give you $100 of my money if you can guess what this advert is advertising. Okay. Okay, and I'll do it. But as long as you guys will be honest and say, I've seen this. Okay. Promise?

Promise. So there's some audio that you're going to play us, I'm guessing. I'm going to show you the ad and then what you guys will have to do with your amazing radio skills is describe what you're seeing so the people can hear because there's not really any audio. Okay. Getting it up. Talk about yourself. Oh, Clint, you look nice with your little vest on today.

Thank you, Daniel. Yeah, and you've got a haircut. Clint got a haircut today overnight. His wife, Jamie, I'm guessing, did it? Gone for the Marshall Mathes cut. Okay, I've got the ad, Bert. Do you know actually why I had to bleach it? I haven't seen my natural ear color in so long

that my wife and I had a fight that when she buzzed all the blonde off I could still see the like just see like the white bits like the blonde bits all over the top of my head and she goes no you haven't seen your natural hair colour for so like you've just got greys

Yeah you would have greys by now And I was like no I don't have She goes I go babe This part you haven't gone like short enough With the clippers to get rid of the blonde She's like all of this all grey grey I'm younger than you and I have grey's.

And I was like, babe, not a chance. I was like, there might be the odd grey, but not as much as she was like leaving. So then we just thought about it and I was like, right, well, bleached it again then. I think I'll have lost with some salt and peps. But you can't go from bleached head to salt and pepper overnight. It's a bit jarring. Okay, yes for me. That's true.

Okay, well. And then she texts on. Carl, can you see my computer over here? You can't see it? No, I can't see it. You guys can play as well as you want. I feel so confident. You can come in.

Yeah, you can play as well. $100 to anybody that gets it, to the first person who gets it, right? And you can guess as many times as you want. She's just... Meg's just increased the chances of her giving away cash, so she must be confident. One of us is going to walk away with a hundred bucks here.

If you have seen it, you must be honest. Okay. Okay. Okay. What is it an ad for? Yes. Okay. So we're looking for a product.

So what's advertising. Okay. Okay, so we're seeing a blurry image of a woman. There's a baby. Looking up. And there's like a... It's a long ad. Okay, so there's a...

Lots of close-ups of, like, fingers and... It looks like families, like playing with a baby. It's very glary. Can you pull it down away from the light? Yeah, there's a baby walking on the sand. She's got something in their hand. Lightning. Any guesses?

Insurance. In the forest. The national band. Ors. Bottles. Condoms. No. No.

It's like some sort of contraception. Okay, kids fighting. Oh, a kid just punched another kid in the face. And he's bullying. And now the kid looks like it's shaving. Life insurance Now he's making out with a chick So it's showing kind of like the lifetime of a kid

Right growing up Now he's shaving his head Is it like shampoo and guadish now? Jamie's hairdressing business Is it washing liquid? No Wait okay no Now he's screaming into the sky

While riding a bike A bang I was inviting you to experience something new Wait can you pause it so we can now guess Before he gets to it Go no no go on That was your up to your mind I reckon it's something that you'd never guess

At your moment, you get one guess each now. I went a little too far, so I've given you a bit much. It'll be like a food or something. I've given you too much. It was not washing liquid. It was pretty dark. Okay. Not shampoo conditioner.

I was going to go life insurance. Subway. Ah, yeah. I just saw the hat. I'm just saw the hat. I went too far. It's Subway. What?

That's ridiculous. I saw the subway as well. Yeah. Just saw the head. I went too long. That is the randomest ad for a sandwich. I should have stopped it. Sorry.

Okay. So, so. just a shots of all different like salads and meats. And the subway didn't even look like that in person. Subway, you're fresh. No, what does it say at the end? Like, how do they tie in what we just watched with sandwiches?

Oh, he goes into subway and everything's fine. Subway. Barking out. There you go. I think what they're trying to do, they're trying to do something wholesome after Jared did all that dark shit. No, but this is a bit dark as that dude was like punching somebody in the face? Oh, look back, Meg.

I'll put that. Showing one of the kids that actually grew up okay? Oh, I'm going to put the video onto the Edge Breakfast podcast fan page. Can you just go back to before I go Subway? Because I feel like there was, there were words there when you paused it. It's a parody, though, right? No, it's real. It's a real ad from Subway, Brazil.

Yeah, but they're taking the past. Surely they're not. If you ever notice, you will realize that life is always inviting you to experience something new. So what are you going to try today? Oh my God. There's always something new in life and when you go to Subway you should try something new as well. I'm gutted that you guys didn't get an actual guess.

I'm sorry I should have cut it off at a certain point. And I think of any place. You wouldn't have got it. Subway's the place you least try something new. Everybody has their subway order that they don't change. The sauce is like I have my chicken fillet, barbecue and ranch. Yeah, and chicken terriarchy, barbecue and Southwest.

No one tries anything different at Subway. And if you do try something different, you always regret it because it's never as good as your go to. Absolutely. I tried the chicken riblet once and nearly fucking died. What do you mean? Isn't it? Pork riblet? If you try the chicken riblet, maybe you would have died because that's not in some way.

You went somewhere else. Pork ribble. I saw a guy order it in front of it, like order it in front of me. And I was like, oh, give it a go. And it was disgust. You can't say that. They might be a sponsor. Oh, but there's other stuff that I love the chicken fillet.

But the pork ribble sucks. I don't think they go. Oh, yeah. I mean, Dan, he's shat on the riblet, but he also said he loves chicken fillets. Everything else is great. Someone is this. Yeah. You're just going to have to cut that.

Sorry. Oh, Subway. They don't care. What are your sauce choices? Mine's Chipotle South West and sweet onion. The other thing is sometimes I will pivot, depending on how I'm feeling is I might do a pizza melt. Which is like ham, salami,

and then there's another meat. There's like three meats and cheese. Ham, salami. Turkey? No, ham. Salami is another round one. The pizza. The pizza salt is just three salamis.

It's just three different salamis. Isn't salami and pepperoni the same thing? Just one has pepper? I get a pizza sub Okay, you don't eat meat meg So don't fight me on this Just don't get their pork riblet Fuck

Fuck! That is pretty Actually, Webgirl Bella, get in here Do you know, Webgirl Bella is like sponsored by Subway

because she likes pork ribbleet I'm not saying The Subway is the greatest Subway Center I need to find her and get her That makes me not like you, Neepia We need to find her

and get her because she reps the pork riblet so much She gets seen free Subways Because of it And she's like not even But I'm not saying That subway sucks in general

because... One of my favourite places to go. Have they just found the people that order pork riblet and then they've given them... And it's just Bella. Because they know they'll order the pork riblet because they've got so much left over.

It's like McDonald's. Fillet of Fish. Sucks. No, I like the filler of fish. No one's going, oh, the best burger at Maccas is the fill of fish. Well, I guess it's the only one I can really have. So it is my favourite.

So your default. Yeah, yeah. But I do like... I genuinely like it was my granddad's favorite. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. It's one of those ones that if you get out a big party pack

with a whole lot of drinks and chips and random burgers, you might get a fillet of fish in that only because it comes with it. But you could look through my bank statement, you'd see that Subway and McDonald's feature the most because I do love them. But they all have their shitters. Wendy's. Don't get the baconator.

Really? That's the one that pushed their most. I don't know, actually. The only burger I could ever say was that Wendy's as the Baconator. Do they still have that guy advertising Wendy's who does, like he needs to swallow his spit? No, he's finished now. To share, Wingis, we make your burgers, your order.

It's like, we just swallowed the spit, bro. I thought it was Dave for a second. No, he's gone now. I think not dead, but he's moved on. It must be great when you land an advertising gig, like say Tina from Turner's, and they're going to roll you out across multiple campaigns for multiple years.

I wonder how much of a cash cow. Remember, the other one was Goldstein at ESP? Goldstein. He would have been in big money because that was big advertising money back in the day. And a bank. They print money. I might try to try.

one of those like Dave or Goldstein for an AMA would be amazing. I'd love to talk to Goldson. He was almost like an icon in my household weirdly. I'll chuck him on the list. Risk goes lady. I mean she's still on that gravy train. Tammy. Yeah the ones who are off now might talk I mean

maybe they won't talk specifics in terms of money but they might talk about how they were earning six figures or earning a full-time wage just working like three times a year shooting ads. Do you remember a big save Lily as well? Because she's gone through some sort of a transformation. She used to be like, oh God, my dad's gone crazy.

He's ordered too many beds. He's scrolling his own feces on the wall. He's trying to kill us. And now she's just like, hi, it's Big Save Lily. We've got 20% off beds this weekend. It's almost like she's gone through therapy. I wonder if they did like... She just got sick of it.

She's like, oh, dad's overcapitalised again. Oh, now she's just a little bit of precious. I wonder if like every time you interact with any fucking company ever, you'll get an email going, how did we do? Please rate us. Maybe people just weren't vibing the Sheltie, allowed Lily from Big Save furniture, and so they had to pivot. This has inspired another thought that I've had recently.

Have you noticed the amount of signs in stores saying, please don't abuse our staff? It's been something that's popped up in the last maybe year or even last few months, and nearly every store I see, it's like, please don't abuse our staff, we're trying to abuse. Have you seen there? It's not just me that's noticed that, Dan? Or maybe you're the person that they're trying to avoid.

Sorry, Meg, I wasn't listening. What were you doing? I was texting my wife. What? she said can I pick up some chicken and what'd you say no as long as it's not from Subway

yeah yeah Subway's gone what the we heard you're talking shit about us Don't make us get Jared No Okay I'll stop No no no

Man what an absolutely drop all that was Hey like you're getting this guy Jared who's lost shit loads away And you're like you know he's You can fit like two or three of him in his jeans And he was just the poster boy and then they just, I mean, if you haven't Googled the story or you don't know the story, you can't Google it,

but it was just, I won't even get into it, but it was just like despicable, disgusting things that he was doing behind the scenes and once they got hold of his laptop and found out what he was into. He wasn't even that. Subway must have just been running around going mental at headquarters, hey, going...

He wasn't even that fat, he just had... That's a definite edit. I'm practicing my audition for... Don't laugh at you'll lose. I'm practicing my audition for don't get fired. by association Oh fuck if I get fired for that I'm talking yeah

Oh that's gonna go down in the papers How nice must it be If you're just like going around life Going fuck if I get fired Who cares my wife Will Pay the bills No I'm that's not the case

Dan's got a sugar mama No I do not have a sugar mama Does she earn more than you Yes Yep there you go That's not back But she no No no no

Well you would call it a bread winner But because she earns so much more than you She moves from breadwinner To sugar mama I've put it that way. Yeah, so she's... She's sugar mama. Although I think sugar mamas give their partner's money.

True. So maybe she's not. Dan's not seen any of the sugar. Hey, she brought me a Kia. A Kia Serato. Did she? Is that what you asked for? I wanted a Tesla.

She said, no. You'll get what you're given. It's good practical car. I said Clint's got a Tesla. She was like, okay. You're getting her Kia. Anyway, sorry, we can cut all that out. Nah, it won't make sense now for why we've jumped to the gear.

Sorry, no, but I wasn't listening, Meg, sorry. No, no, I was just saying that I saw, I've seen a lot of signs pop up in, and... Are you trying to cut me out? No, no, that's where you can cut to. Fuck, start again. So you'd go on, so you just cut out all that fucking drivel there. Sure, Dan. I'm all over it. No, so I was just talking about signs inside places that I've noticed, like stores,

that say, please don't abuse our staff, and I've noticed them. pop up everywhere. Yes, I have. Okay. Yeah, there was a, I was at, where was I? At. I can't remember. Right.

No, it's normally, like, I feel like came out in post offices and stuff I expected to see it, but I have seen it in places where I'm like, people abuse people here? Like, stay pure sushi? Like, what are you doing? Oh, it does push you off when you go on there and don't have the sushi value of the day. You just ask for it. Well, I came all the way here for it. You should have multiple.

It's different. It's the sushi of the day. Anyway. God, we've really panned a lot of fast food outlets today. Oh, I would never pan in Sate Beers. You guys know I'm a little bitch for them. Oh, man, one of my funniest memories of Meregay, when St. Beers, you know of heard this when St. Beers came into the office

and we got told by the boss beforehand. Hey, guys, they currently spent a lot of money with the competition, so we're trying to like schmooze them a little and try and bring them over to the edge. and so he comes in and like the guy who started St. Pierre's here. Like the CEO, the boss, the big boss. And a couple of the others. And Meg's here. And then as soon as I go, hey guys, this is the team from St. Pierre's,

Meg goes, ha! Let's reenact it. Okay, here we go. Here we go. You be the guy that introduces the guy. I'll be the CEO of St.P.E. Okay, cool. And I'll be me.

Yeah, hey, Clint McGin Dan. Thank you guys so much for your time. I just wanted to quickly introduce you to the guys from St.P.E. Souchie. Yeah, we're just, I'm looking at maybe. Oh, St. St. Piers are going to love our sushi. St. Piers, it's always fresh and healthy.

Come on here, friend. No one is sushi can compare. So going on down to St. Pia's, all together. St. P. is you're going to love our sushi? We're going to Zid M. He didn't. No, he just went. Hi, I don't think he thinks.

I don't think he did. I don't know. I can't remember. I just looked at me. And I remember halfway through the song, I was like, I should join her. I should join her. I know the words.

And then I was like, no, man. And I looked at me, and I did these, like, eyes going, I'm so sorry. I can't join you. My eyes were pleading with him

because I couldn't stop. He's looking at me, and I was like, just stop singing. And then I was like, sorry. And then I just took a step away from her slowly,

so she was more in the corner of herself. I think he said something on the lines of like, you almost got all the lyrics right. That's why. He goes, oh, I didn't get the lyrics right.

Those were almost the words. Those were almost the words. Guess I guess, guess, guess, Guess what I got for that? What? Nothing. And I also don't know.

I don't know if they came across to our company either after that. I haven't heard any ads on it. I wouldn't blame him. I just remember even the sales rep guy looking at me and then at Dan around going, what the fuck is she doing? I looked at him like, I don't know, right? This was not rehearsed. Was that the same day that Yaz was also in the room?

And then she introduced herself to the sales rep that she's met in the old. Yes, it was. Yeah, it was a bad day. And then I remember later on that day, when we were like, it was the afternoon, I was driving home. Hey Meg, what about that time you sung the same beer's jingle to the guy who owns the company who didn't ask for it? It was the first time guy, like, in all seriousness. We're normally very laughy and funny. He was like, that's really actually giving me the yuckabah, babe.

He should have been in the studio. It was the first time he's ever been like, oh, I actually can't even think about that. And the fact that you did it now, knowing that you were, who? hopefully going to get some free sushi. Yeah. Because she goes, I got nothing from that. Hey, but you got to shoot your shot. You embarrassed yourself in front of the Disney cruise people

and then look what happened. You went on a free cruise. That's where my head was at, Clint. What were you hoping to get a free salmon roll? Basically. Yeah, you tried to. Imagine that, him was like, wow, that was amazing. Free salmon roll for you.

And then me and you were like, we know it. Same bad. All right, guys. You catch you next time. Thanks for listening. Bye. Music, radio, podcasts.