The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS only had one cap in my ass

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Dumb chat, bad decisions, zero shame. If that sounds like your vibe, you're in the right place. This is Clint Megan Dan's OnlyFans. Podcast, that is. Welcome to the OnlyFans with Clint Megan Dan. Oh, she's back. I am.

Do we have a plan for this OnlyFans? No, we left up to you. You've done one day this year, or this half of the year. The least you could do is come with something cool. As she's been filling in for Meg's Matt leave. She has a son who is turning four today. so Meg was like, I'll come out of Matt leave early just for a day while you can spend some time with your son

and then I'm back to go on my mat leave and you're covering me. Very gracious of me, isn't it? It is. Oh, I think that's up for us to decide. It was until you mentioned that. Mother Teresa feeding the poor and going, lovely of me, isn't it? I can be rich.

She turns around and goes, full bellies? Well, you're welcome. Wouldn't have them if it wasn't for me. Look at those non-starving children. Some would say. It's really nice to be back for a date Some would say

She's like she did it for clout really If I was ash I'd be like I promise Some would say very big of me Who's saying that me mostly What's big of me What's big of me?

Dan Don't look at me Clint You were the one that was saying What's big of me But like I forget no Like

Oh why are you there's so much big Excuse me Dan Oh, fuck, why am I? What did you say to do it? Okay. What's big about that? Your, yay. Brain.

You've got a big jacket on. Oh. Oh. Fuck a big jacket. You need one that big to what? Get over her shoulders? No, I just mean it's a big, like, um... I went with brain.

Thank you, Clive. You're welcome. Yeah, okay. Thank you, Clint. Big jacket. No, it's just a big puffy jacket, isn't it? It looks good on you. What are we doing?

To match your big what? Heart. Great. Okay, good. Very good. Can we clear that, boys. Big heart. Both are true. Oh, well. Oh, bugger.

What does the rest of your day look like? The rest of my day, I'm actually going to the pediatrician with Miller and Daisy. Oh, good on you. With, yeah, Miller's head. They got rank feet or what? That's a podiatrist. Oh, my goodness. I knew.

I don't know if we did. I don't know if he did, eh? I always thought it was just air up there for him. Actually, I went, this is so silly, but I went to the paediatrician with Miller a couple of weeks ago, and we've got a few things to follow up on. But when we first went, I felt like what it must feel like,

for a farmer to have a show pig, like a prize pig. So, you know, when they did they have a show pig, show dog show maybe or a guinea pig show and you've got judges going around and they pull them by like their tail and then the top of the air and they measure them and they look and stand back and they go oh look at the length on this oh they did yeah yeah yeah yeah yes

honestly we had the the doctor doing that and she was like measuring and she goes oh that's that's perfectly 50% okay I'll write that down and then I was like wait her exactly 50% as well and then she goes wow very clear skin wrote a little note a little clear skin

and then oh Miller perfect time she did her first ever roll in front of the daughter her roll from her front to her back and then she stood back and goes God, how old is she? Oh, seven weeks.

That's very advanced. I stood there like proud as punch. Like, yes, look at my prize pig, thank you. Isn't she just like super mediocre? Like if she's bang in the middle of the 50th percentile then she's not incredible, she's just bang, smack, normal. I think she's just very normal, yeah. Well, you think that too, but it's not, in theory.

It's not that it's bad to be six bigger or smaller, but it's like, you know, perfectly average. Is that something to brag about? That's what I'm trying to work out. God, she was 80th percent on everything long, like really good. Well, I guess it depends. Like, if it's head size, you don't want to be on either end of this week. You don't want the tiny head or a massive head.

You're right. There are some things you want to be right in the middle of. Dan, it's just your Instagram bio, so. Perfectly average. Perfectly average. Yeah. Speaking of pigs. Don't point at me when you do it.

Don't point at me when you say pig. What is he fucking pointed in the next problem? Do you see that? You're going to go out your weight constantly. He sat there with his little finger out of me, speaking pigs. No, you would know. Oh, she's a pig? What the fuck?

You wouldn't remember this Meg because I was talking about, we want to record a thing where All Blacks are playing Ozzy and we know we're playing South Africa. Dan called up like hardcore All Blacks fans and pretended to be a South African from the media team to see if he could get All Black supporters to gee up the South African team and cheer them on. Obviously, they won't, but it's fun hearing Dan try to make them share for a team that they don't support.

We were like, oh, we'll do that again because the All Black's playing the wallabies. Speaking of pigs. Yeah, and I was like, oh my God, the most Aussie guy we've ever spoken to is the guy who went viral because he had a kangaroo and a pig that we were having sex with each other. Yeah, it was outrageous. No, I can remember it. I thought for a while, because I actually came in during, when we were talking to him, you'd already spoken to him. with JJ as well. When they first went viral for...

And I remember thinking with you and Dom that truly you guys were stitching me up and he was like an actor or somebody that we had here. And then I had to get convinced he was actually a real person because he was so outrageous.

He was like, hey, get a mate and then he goes off of what the fuck do you want, I haven't got time for this shit. He was like a stereotype of a stereotype. Yeah. Who was the, who was fucking who? The kangaroo was doing the pig. Yeah.

Really? And he said it not to be funny. That was the outrageous thing. It wasn't like he thought there was a gag that he thought would be hilarious it was just like his kangaroo was just like his kangaroo was just like his kangaroo kept trying to jump out of its

paddock or like whatever and then was having sex with the pig in its own like a liaison sort of thing so he said eventually every time he took it out of the pigs and clutch it would always jump over the fence and screw the pig so eventually he was like right they obviously want to be together or at least the kangaroo wants to be with the pig

I feel like the pig was getting the raw end of the deal well he ended up putting them both in the same paddock because he was sick of having to move his kangaroo back into its own, like, area. Did they have, like, a pigaroo or something? Do you think he's alive right now? I can't, I can't. I don't know, but I was like, surely we could find the story and then try and get hold of

the guy, but we don't have his number, but I was like, he'd be a great Aussie battler to get on. But no one remembered the story, and I was like, Medwell. Yeah, he was, he was, dad, he was unreal. I don't think I even said much whenever we called him because I just was in shock of how outrageous that man was, and that he existed. I think that was shocking. He lived in the middle of, fucking nowhere.

It's like some pickdown of like a population of like 86 or something. Should we try and find? I'm going to find the smallest town in Australia and I'm going to ring a phone number from there. Bridges Neeps goes hand in the air. Have you already found him? His name's Greg Dick. He owns the fuel stop and Aileron Roadhouse in the Northern Territory.

Okay, so what's it called? The A-L-E-R-N-R-N-R-House. So we could ring there. Was he inside, like he had a bar. It was like, like, maybe he sold gas as well. I think he was a bit of a jack-of-all-trades. There he is. Oh my God, Greek dick.

I've got a number. Yeah, let's call him. Should we call it now on the podcast? Yeah, and do you want to say, try and get him to... All-Blacks. Yeah, up the All-Blacks and wishing them all the best. Okay. It's in the chat now.

If it works well, we'll play it on the show tomorrow. And if it's shit, we'll just make you listen to it on this podcast. Yeah. So I'll say I'm from the All-Blacks Media team. I know your team is. the wallabies, are they? God, what time is it over in Alice Springs? Two hours, seven, forty, yeah, hopefully.

Almost 8 a A.m. Is it a, would a roadhouse be open at that time? Some Google reviews, the air conditioner didn't work. Oh, bugger. I actually would be surprised if he was alive, but what a blast for in the past. What's his name? It's zero, zero first, right, for the plus six. Zero, zero six, one.

Six one. Eight. Yeah, got up. Eight. Mr. Dick. I'd be a shame if it doesn't move Come on I fact up the first time

Oh did you? Yeah Yeah Central and West Australia Here we go Let's go Greg Greg Dick

Okay From Roadhouse Chris speaking Hi Chris I was wondering if I could Talk to Greg Dick Please You can't Because Greg no longer owns the business

Oh doesn't he Oh what's happened to Greg Greg Soed the business in December Oh right Have you got a afforded contact details for? What's it regarding? I came to the pub years ago and loved him.

And we just got on really well, and I've been meaning to touch base with him again and reconnect. And I'm swinging back through town in a couple of weeks, but I just wanted to sort of get in touch. Right. Well, he's in Alice Springs Hospital. Oh, is he? He wasn't well at the end of May.

and he went into hospital he was in intensive care for a while but while he's been in hospital he's had three falls so he's got two broken hips and a broken wrist Jesus but his son's number

it's Kim it's 0427 534 050 because he'd love visitors have you still got the kangaroo that's shaking the pig no we haven't got kangaroo

We haven't got pig, we haven't got camels. Oh, bugger. Because they're, yeah. Oh, well, that's so, oh, thank you so much for your time. I will get in touch with Greg when I can. Okay, fantastic. Love you, see ya. Okay.

Are you okay? I don't know. Hey, do you have the pig and the kangaroo? No, well, that's, you know. Say something. Oh, cool, Greg. I'm sorry, because that was what I wanted. I only planned to talk about the pig and the kangaroo.

It's when she said, no, it's sort of shut down my next line of questioning. to them. I wonder, should we, in seriously, should we call Ken and say, look, we actually had a, you know, we had a relationship. Yeah, we had a relationship with Greg in a way from a radio showing him. He will remember us. Yeah. Should we try and give him a call?

Yeah, go on, and let's see. I mean, I don't know where you'll be with his old man. Let me talk, Dan. Oh, okay. Fucky, hell. Yeah, if we give him the actual backstory that we remember talking to when he's, his king, who was having sex with the pig. You'd have a laugh.

Poor Greg. Do you try and prank him before? No, no. Okay. I'll just leave. I just want to hear his voice because honestly, people, you don't understand

how crook this guy. The active or is invalid. Please check the number and dialing it. No, she, I can't check it. We can't even we can't hammer it up enough

how like Ozzy this guy isn't to me here. I want to hear it because I wasn't in the show in this area. The problem is we change systems and a lot of the old audio didn't come across.

Okay. Oh, you just fucked up again. So I'm talking. I'm talking. Okay. I'll try. Let's just see who talks first. No.

Let's see who talks first. All right, well then now it's a competition I'm in. Yeah, you'd read, Ken, just leave a message after the seat. Hey, Ken. This is Meg. I work at a radio station called The Edge in New Zealand. And many years ago, for many years, we spoke to your father, Greg, Greg Dick, I believe. And we loved him.

told us all about his kangaroo shaggy to pig and he was such a character and we went to call him again and check in with him at the Outback Roadhouse and we heard that he's been in hospital and not being very well but we just, I don't really know while I'm leaving you this message but we just wanted to send our love. He was a good sort and

we hope he does well and if he does want to, you know, touch base with us and give us a chat from hospital if he's doing okay, flip me an email me, Megan at theedge.coe.nz Megan at theedge.como.n. We'll set it up. Hope he's doing well. We wish him all the best in a speedy recovery.

And I spoke Meg spoke first so I didn't get to say I hung up. Fucking idiot. Now he's going to think he's a prank call and I spoke to Yeah

But now he's going to want to know what I wanted to say Isn't he? Call him back. What's his name? Ken, sorry I got cut off there. No, it was Kath, I think.

Kath, I was it. Ken? Oh, he's a Ken. Kim. Was that Kath and Kim? I think it was Kim. Kevin, Kevin. Look at me.

My daughter's obsessed with that. She watched one episode and now she can't get enough. Why are you watching Friends and Kevin Kevin? Are you stuck in like the 90s? She's a smart girl. Meek said it was really great. And so I started watching her and I was and then now my daughter does all that. Look at me.

Look at mooy. Now I've got one thing to say to you, Kimmy. We're getting a call back. Fruit salad. Oh. No, I'm calling out. Oh, okay. Now we're calling.

Now we call. Now car wants to leave a message. I think he probably has to check that we're allowed to play that. I don't know. Who knows what the rules of podcasting. I know in radio, you've got to get people to sign off on stuff. So you're supposed to, if you prank somebody in New Zealand, after you've done the prank, a producer will call them back,

go, hey, that was actually the edge? Unless you come clean in the prank? And you go, is that all good if we play that on the air? Unless you come clean and go, hey, it's Clemegen Dan. It's implied that you're on the radio, and they would need to turn around. I have applause for Carl then for not getting us sued. Thank you, Carl. Yeah, well done.

I'm not doing that, but I'll take it, thanks. Because I don't know about podcasts. You don't have to tell them. It's like the international waters of radio broadcasting the podcasting. But you are recording somebody secretly, I guess, without their permission. You can say anything on a podcast. Obviously, we'll blank out his number, right? We'll go, yeah, we didn't say it.

We did say it. She said it. Yeah, she was like, you call him on this number. Oh, yeah, okay. I've already beat that, actually. It's already beat. Yeah, it's not like she would complain, though. What would she complain about that? We gave out her number. Had a lovely conversation with a lady who owns the roadhouse now.

I think we even said we were from radio, didn't we? No. No, you did. You just put it on a random fucking tangent about going to the pub. We actually met her that he was going to tell the truth. And you were like, oh, I met him last time was at the roadhouse last year. Why? I saw his kangaroo fuck in the pig.

I thought, where could be besties? We really hit it off watching them. If you Google it'll come up, there'll be a story. It was like worldwide news. It took me literally five seconds to find that phone number. Yeah, yeah. Wow. All right.

How's your mum going with the drinks package? If people haven't listened to the actual show recap podcast, producer Nipia's mom is trying to beat the drinks package on a cruise ship. Take a listen. Good day, so the drink price package costs about $1,000 New Zealand per person. So cocktails like this are about 14 U.S., so we counted as $20 New Zealand dollars. So, of fact, that's my 34th drink times $20, New Zealand.

So I'm well on the way to getting my $1,000 worth after half the trip. Yeah, they're at earlier in the week. $1,300 now. And I got a message from Dad's friend who they're away with, and they said that my parents need to pick their game up. He's sitting at about 1,800. So they're not even winning the game, really. Wait, so how many more days are they on the boat for it?

They've got two more C days, and then they're back in America and off the boat. So they've well and truly clocked it. Wow, so they've got free drink. for at least another two days and they're already 300 bucks in the clear. Exactly. Money for jazz. Yeah.

Oh, can they what? It's crazy. There's no point even trying to keep up. I don't think my mum even gets hangovers anymore. I'll be like, she'll be dusty. I mean, so she'll have had too many wines and I'll be like, oh, she's going to be in all sorts the next day. I also should probably make it clear.

Like, mum's not an alcoholic. She didn't drink until she was like 25 years old. Wow. And now in her 40s, she gets together with her mate. and like they post on their Instagram stories and get pissed like three times a week now. I have a theory that boomers don't get hung over because they are always hung over.

Oh, you know, because they're always... Like, if I think about my parents, my mum doesn't anymore, but I grew up and they would have a wine every night, a wine or two, every night with dinner. Yeah. Every night. Exactly, there you go to...

It's always hungover. That's normal. But that means you always... I'll have drinks today. And did you yesterday? Yeah, too. But that was because it was my wife's birthday. And will you have drinks tomorrow?

I had a beer the day before that because I just, I don't know, I was watching TV and felt like a beer. I think the last time I had a beer was with Clint. Yeah, I don't know. Like the golf? Yeah. I actually genuinely think that's the last time I had a beer. I don't even feel like a beer.

I was just going to get a Coke. And then you ordered a beer. So then I was like, oh, yellow. I thought you were going to piss me off because I was like, I much prefer to Coke. An alcoholic drink in a year next month. Wow. Because obviously. I think for me, it's not even alcohol.

I just like the taste of beer. So I'll be like, oh, I just feel like. like I want to have a beer. We've almost got through all of that alcohol you're giving us as well, Meg. Almost finished. Zero percent beer just doesn't taste good. So if it tasted as good, then fine.

I'd be like, great, because then I could drink a beer that I love, but I'm not going to wake up, especially when we wake up at four. You only have to have like three beers and you can wake up feeling a little groggy. No more sitting on the bottom of the shower. Yeah, I sat on the bottom of the shower this morning. That's where you know it's a bad day. I was like two drinks. When he brings that coffee cup in with like wine in it,

that's, you know, he's having a bad day. It's funny because some radio announces have been known to do that. He says it's Musashi, but we know. Oh, yeah, we were supposed to get one of those today. Yeah, now we'll have to wait. Yeah, it's not alcoholic. Yeah. Just makes us go silly.

Last time Dad had what he put a vivid up his bum. He put a what? A vivid up my bottom, that's right. That was an interesting trip to the doctors when they had to remove the cap. Dad brings a new meaning to do you, oh, put a cap in your ass. I'm like 50 cents. We're less gangster. Dan's like that.

Dad's like a cap on my ass before. and they're like, oh my God. I've also had a cap in my ass. Fucking end of a vivid because he was showing off on a massage. I think Fiddy's had more than one cap in his ass, though. I've only had the one. All right.

We'll leave it there, I reckon. That's how Tupac died. That's how Tupac died. You put a big vivid up. Bye.