The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS Prepping the menu

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Dumb chat, bad decisions, zero shame. If that sounds like your vibe, you're in the right place. This is Clint, Megan, Dan's OnlyFans. Podcast, that is. Hey everybody, welcome along to the OnlyFans podcast. Appreciate you. Now, every day I come up with a person to dedicate this to.

And I'm going to bring a rising contributor to the show today to dedicate this podcast to, Rebecca Staples. Okay. Who I think we've mentioned maybe before, and she is mentioning our How Do You Like Them Apples segment, which is now defunct. We've stopped doing it because we came up with the best apple, the Simply Red Apple.

And she's just saying that she's been standing in the apple section quickly checking the top five apples. So she's gone on to our Instagram to go, which apples do I buy? And so she's using our suggestions to make the apple choices. And that's why we did it. Do you know what as well? I've been influenced by us. I've started eating more apples.

I always thought apple was a pretty stink fruit. I agree. I don't know what's happened recently but I always hated an apple. When mum offered me an apple when I was a kid, even in my 20s, I never liked an apple. I always liked a banana,

maybe an orange. Yeah. And all of a sudden, if it's a good apple, it's a great apple. God, we're so different. Apple was basically the only fruit I ate

for many years. Okay, well let's say your mum says you can only have one and I've got a mango and an apple. Apple all day. What? I don't have a mango. You're crazy. Easy, mango, let's say your mum says, you can only have one, and I've got a mango and an apple. Apple all day. What?

I want a mango. You're crazy. Easily a mango mango. My favourite fruit. I know, and now since I've had a mango, I've gone, maybe I would now take a mango. But back in the day, I would have been an apple. What if they say, all right, you can have a mango

or a coconut mango? Mango. Smashing up my cocoa. You've got the milk, and then you've got the flesh. Coconut milk's yuck. I don't like it. It's good for hangovers. And then the stuff that you...

It's coconut water that's good for hangovers, not milk. Don't drink a can of coconut milk for hangover. Yeah, I mean the milk out of a real coconut. Yeah, that's coconut... What do they call it? Water. Like water, it is, isn't it? Yeah, the milk is from the flesh grinded.

And I don't really like that in Bunnock either. Like shaved, desiccated. Oh, I love coconut mango things. Do you know when you go to Fiji, the best way to eat it, I think they do it in Raro as well, is that they'll literally smash open a coconut and then they have what looks like... A young one or an old one?

An old one. Yep. So the flesh is quite hard. Yeah. And then they've got this almost like a chopping board and they sit on it and at the end of the chopping board it's got like sharp metal grates.

Yeah, and they milk it right there, eh? Yeah. And it's like they shave it but you know shaved coconut that you buy metal grates. Yeah, and they milk it right there, eh? Yeah. And it's like they shave it. But you know shaved coconut that you buy is always dried. This is like soft, wet, moist, shaved, fresh coconut. And it is unbelievably good. Soft, wet, moist, and shaved. Oh my God, I just can't get enough of it.

Okay, I found a TikTok that I had saved that I wanted to bring to you boys. Tell me your favorite insults that kills them with kindness that will get under somebody's skin. I thought I could say them to you. And you guys rate them on a scale of 1 to 10 if they would actually, you know, get to you or not. I know that, Clint, you are a rather thick-skinned man, so maybe if somebody said this to you, you'd be like, that's nothing.

So 10 is the worst thing they could say? Yeah, 10 is like, oh, I'd go home and I'd think about that. Okay. Yeah. So it's like a compliment but an insult at the same time? No, no, no. It's just an insult. It's kind of, it's like, oh, I'd go home and I'd think about that. Okay. Yeah. So it's like a compliment but an insult at the same time? No, no, no. It's just an insult. It's meant to be an insult, but it's an insult that you sit there and kind of go,

instead of just being like you're a shitbag person, it's kind of like you say something to them almost in a polite way and they go, oh, that was actually really. Like a power play almost? Yes, yeah, like a power play. Okay. Okay. Does it normally work out for you when you talk to people like that?

Oh, I just go, oh, you're just trying to be a passag bitch. Oh, okay. So that wouldn't work for you. Yeah, it's like a three, two or three. It depends who's saying that, I guess. I'd imagine what I've said is something controversial. Like I've said something to them like, oh, God, Meg, like your lipstick sucks today or whatever and then you've

kind of come back with that. In a work environment maybe you'd be like hey you can't hey I would like to run this meeting and you go and somebody else would go. It doesn't normally work out for you when you talk to people like that. Nah that wouldn't hit me Okay you're raising the volume of your voice but not the logic of your argument

if you're arguing with somebody Yeah that gets to me because I think it's a sore spot that i'm just a loud person and i'm like no what i do have to say is still just as important as my tongue you try and talk real quiet it's like a six okay a six not sure who raised you but i was raised with decorum oh don't you bring my mom into this yeah i wonder if that don... Don't you bring Jules into this. Jules Webby's a saint. She did it on her own with her bare hands by herself. Okay, she reared this boy

and I've gone too far. Yeah, but there's a little nerve, little hit. Because it does, when you bring the parents in, I would be a bit pissed off too. Like, don't make out that my mum's a bad mum. Fuck you. Don't read too much into this, Dan, because it's... I would... I look at it very differently. Yeah, two for me. Because I'm so

secure in how my mum and dad raised me that somebody accusing mum and dad of doing a bad job just doesn't even land for me. It's probably because we're from broken homes that it would be like, they did their best! They did their fucking best! Yeah, like if someone was like, oh, Meg's so ugly. And then I'm like, it doesn't even land with me

because I'm like that's so ridiculous I'm not even going to give that a second thought yeah you know what I mean I actually someone saying something

about you or personality that you know is so far from who you are that you actually it either really gets to you because they don't understand you or you don't fucking care at all but I don't think

I don't think back at my childhood and go I was in a broken home I don't think that I just had a broken home. I don't think that. I just had a happy childhood. So I wouldn't think that. I'd just be like, my mum raised me well. So then why do you get your back up so much that someone would accuse your mum of not raising you well?

Because I've never met her. So I'm kind of like, why would you? And also, I'm just playing the game. So I think you've lost the game if you're getting your back up. I would say that's five or six. It's definitely not going to cut me deep. Okay. You light up every room you leave. Oh, now that's five or six. It's definitely not going to cut me deep. Okay. You light up every room you leave.

Oh, now that's mean. No, weirdly, I would misinterpret that, I think, as a compliment. You're a fucking idiot. You go, okay. He's so sure of himself, he goes straight over his head. Oh, I left the room, and it's more lit than when I got in there. No, you were dark when you were there, and then when you left, it was like, oh, thank God, he's gone. If somebody said it with a real tone to me like if I was

talking with somebody and I was about to leave the room and they said oh great you light up every room that you leave me I would

but I know some people I've worked with some people and I know people that they'll come into a room and fuck it sucks the energy out and they might not even say anything

they just come in and you're just like god go away and I think isn't that the hic? well no it's, go away. And I think... The ick? Isn't that the ick? Well, no, it's a different thing to that. I think it's like, because an ick you get the ick.

But you can still kind of like... But if this person hasn't done or even said anything and they've just walked in the room, you're already like, ugh! It's like nothing that they have done yet has annoyed you, but you just know they will because you have the ick with that person. Yeah, their energy can bring, but if they're exuding energy, that's bad. Let's say they bring

cupcakes for everyone and then you're like, oh, of course you would, trying to win everyone over. That's the ick. Yeah. Because they haven't even done anything to warrant the response yet. Okay, so you're fighting with somebody. You're arguing or you guys are having a bit of a tiff and then they go, wow, you're really being yourself today.

That's worse. Wow, this is like classic you. That's worse. That's more like sex. Wow. Isn't it funny? It's just different for different people. Yeah, you're really being yourself.

Yeah, I think that would get to me. It would get to me later. I would think about it later in the night by myself and go, does everyone think that of me? Am I always grumpy? Am I always arguing with people? See, I don't do that. I'll be thinking that person obviously thinks very little of me? Am I always grumpy? Am I always arguing with people? See, I don't do that. I'll be thinking

that person obviously thinks very little of me or worse of me than I thought they did. But I wouldn't then take it to the next level that everyone thinks that. Oh, wow. That must be nice. Dan? That one does nothing for me. That wouldn't even touch me, to be honest. Because

I think if they're saying that, it's obviously not my norm because they noticed it. So they've gone, he's out of ordinary. I'm going to insult him by saying it's his norm. Right, so think if they're saying that, it's obviously not my norm because they noticed it. So they've gone, he's out of ordinary. I'm going to insult him by saying it's his norm. Right, so you think they're just playing the game. I'm surprised you felt comfortable enough to say that out loud. Oh, too. These all sound like they come from just an asshole person, to be honest.

Well, they're in an argument with someone, so they're trying to, like, these are the things that they can try and shut down. So go on more on that. Say it again. I'm surprised you felt comfortable enough to say that out loud. Yeah, that's fine. That says more about them than me. They're maybe a bit more prudish than the type of people that I hang out with.

Again, it depends on what you've said. If it's batshit dumb. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm minding my business and you're also minding my business, who's minding yours? Too complicated for me. I don't even get it.

Kate, you're a fucking idiot. Yeah. It's almost like a pick-up line of an insult. They've rehearsed that where I almost be like, okay, mate. This one, I'd sit there and be like, you've thought that out and it kind of makes you

a loser, but it would still hurt me. You walk around like your pain makes you special, but the truth is everybody's broken and you're just the only one desperate enough to try and make it your identity. You lost me at the first three words. I'll go, sorry, you are absolutely over-talking. Word economy, please. Get out of my face.

Oh, it sounds like it got to him, though. That's just a sentence. That's like literally a sentence. There's one full stop in there. That's too much. Yeah, it's just too, like, I reckon the best insults are, like, three words. You just cut them deep.

All right. I've got, would you like more? It feels like, do you want me to stop? No? I like this one and the way that I think I'd use it. You have such a unique way of misunderstanding things. Because you'd feel so fucking dumb if somebody said that to me. You have such a unique way of misunderstanding things.

I would feel fucking stupid. Yeah, but I think, isn't isn't that like more like a cutesy thing like isn't that kind of endearing You're kind of going you're unique. You're like wow you're quite unique and like because they're trying to be nice like you've misunderstood something and rather than being like no you're a fucking idiot. Hello you have a really cute way of misunderstanding things so like it's still quite

endearing. That's so weird that I think that's almost like a compliment more than it's an insult. Is this normal behaviour for you? They obviously don't know me if it is, though. So I've said, I'd probably go, yeah, it is. Do you not like that? I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.

That's good. Oh, that's a good one. That's funny. That's probably the best one so far. Because there's a bit of humour behind that one as well That's one you use when there's more people in the room And then they all start laughing at you And then you use humour

Or you laugh to diffuse Your inability to regulate your emotions Is not my responsibility That annoys me That sounds like that fucking chick off Married at First Sight You know when she was with Elliot And she was like a personal trainer or something and we all thought she was nice and then she was like,

he wasn't even yelling, his voice didn't even like elevate and I know because I'm the type of person that gets told I'm too loud by my wife and she's like, just quieter. And then she's like, do not yell at me! Do not yell at me! If you've seen the series, you'll know the chick I'm talking about. She would throw out an insult like that, like

it's not my responsibility that they're turning your feelings. Yeah, to regulate your emotions. And it's like, no, it is your responsibility because you're in a marriage and you have to make it work together. It's not a you and them separately and hopefully it works together. And if you're in a marriage, usually the other person knows how to wind you up. And so if they're professionally winding you up

because they know how to push your buttons, it kind of is there. Oh, like calm down? Just calm down, mate. Just calm down. Just calm down. I've got three. I hate that one. I've got three more.

Right. You remind me of myself when I didn't know any better. I wouldn't like that one. If somebody said that to me, I wouldn't like that. If a girl said to me, you remind me of myself when I didn't know any better either. That's a big bar play, eh? I'd feel so small.

Fine for you, Dan? Yeah, that one to me is, again, like, I don't relate to it, so I can't like, it wouldn't offend me. If somebody said that to you, you don't relate to it? I just wouldn't, yeah. Did you hear it? Yeah, if you remind me of when I didn't know

any better. Yeah. Yeah, like, I don't know you. I think it's because I don't know the person who's saying it. It depends who said it. I'm like, we'll have somebody in your head every time that I'm doing this. Okay, the boss says this next one to Dan. The boss. Yeah, Casey says this to you.

You guys are having an argument about something to do with work. I know sometimes people tend to be more confrontational. You're stumbling, Casey. You're stumbling. I know sometimes people tend to be more confrontational. You're stumbling, Casey. You're stumbling. I know sometimes people tend to be more confrontational when they don't feel like they have a voice at home. Oh, saying that Hannah

doesn't listen to you. So that's why you're being a little bitch. Under the thumb. Yeah. He only gets to wear his big boy pants at work. And not at home is what he's saying And my last one is Let them totally go on their rant

Argue their point And just sit there Quietly and calmly And right at the end when they seem to be finished say You've got something in your teeth Ooh now that's the best one Do you know what else is great That I thought you were going to say

When they finish the rant, you go, sorry, what was that? Like, sorry, I didn't get that. Can you start again? And they'll be like, oh. Or you go, sorry, I wasn't listening to a word you just said because you've got a big piece of chive in your chin. Yeah, almost combine them. I like the combination.

A bit of something in your teeth. So great. I think all of them, I think it depends on the person as well. Because if it's just some person that you've just met and they don't know you, of course it's not going to have the same grandeur as your partner or your boss or like your close co-worker says it. I'm very sorry, but Stephanie Matto is not going to be on today's OnlyFans podcast, which is a real shame.

She's a former reality TV star. And she gained notoriety online for selling jars of her own farts online. She was meant to be joining us with our experiment tomorrow. And then when she couldn't send the jars of farts, I think maybe during COVID, this is the same girl, she made NFTs, which are those like virtual, you know, remember when everyone was selling NFTs? And she sold virtual farts in the jar.

So nobody actually got a fart in the jar. It was like a drawing of her fart in a jar and people bought them. Oh my God. She reportedly has made up to $250,000 from selling her farts in a jar. Of course, she's drop dead gorgeous. She'd have to be, I think, I don't know if she was like an average looking dude, whether she'd be selling her farts for a quarter of a million dollars. You can try that, Clint, if you want. You can start farting into jars and see if you can sell any. She also sells not just farts, if that's not your thing.

She sells jars of boob sweat. How much do you think you would pay for a jar of her boob sweat? How sweaty are her boobs that she's able to collect it in a jar? Really? How much do you think people will pay for her boob sweat in a jar? Oh, God. Probably hundreds of dollars. A hundred bucks. Hundreds of dollars.

$500 each. Jesus. And she will fart in, sleep in, and roll around in sheets that you can buy for $2,000 a pop. Fucking hell. How gassy is she? And how many of these is she selling? Like, if she sold, like, 10 bottles of her boob sweat, how much is she having to go to the gym to sweat that out?

Well, I think, yeah, I know that, because I've just read an article, it is the same girl, her selling the NFT, she said, is taking the pressure off because it's just pictures, like, drawn cartoons of farts and jars, and she's still selling them for the same amount of money. If I was selling my farts,

Hannah would be like, what are you doing? I'm going, oh, I've got to go down to my room and do six more farts. I just sold some. I think it'd be one of those things that, like, I almost feel like, whatever, men want to buy it, you want to do it. It's like telling your parents and your family, friends and stuff that you're selling farts.

It's so bizarre. It's so gross. But they would all talk shit about you until you were like, well, cool, I made a quarter of a million bucks doing it, so what did you make a quarter of a million dollars doing? I feel it's a hard thing to then argue back. Producer Carl, you've been trying to get her on. What happened?

She went dark or brown? She's just left me on scene, which is really annoying. But this market, it's like, I don't know if it's as hard to get into as you think, because I do that podcast with my mate Rachel. And when this girl Stephanie was going viral, we thought, oh, we should try that. So we started an OnlyFans account. And then I gassed up my dear friend Rachel with beer and stuff like that.

She burped into a jar, and we sold it online for $100, like a dude actually bought it. A slow clap there from producer Nebs in the booth. Was it a charity? Did the money go to charity, or was it just into your own money? No, we went to the pub. All right, because I'd get it if he was like, oh, I'll pay for the charity because it's $100 to charity.

But he literally just purchased it because he wanted the burp. Yeah, he wanted the jar of burps. It was some guy in Canada, and he paid for the shipping and everything. He listened. It would have been like $107. Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got us a couple of beers.

She had to take a break because she was hospitalized due to her diet that she tried to be as flatulent as possible. Beans, a protein muffin, and a yogurt with no sugar and some hard-boiled eggs. Disgusting. Okay, well, this is probably where Dan taps out because, oh, you may have noticed the lack of fart content at the start of this podcast. We thought we would just get a little bit lighter on it because tomorrow she's going to be fart heavy with Dan

trying to work out what I've eaten tomorrow morning for breakfast when I fart into Dan's gas mask that he'll be wearing and see if he can differentiate between. In a New Zealand radio first. Yep, but not a radio first. No, that's why I said New Zealand. Yeah, Hamish and Andy, I think back in 2013, did a similar experiment, but with not an apparatus that has been created by our producer, Carl, if you haven't caught up on the last couple of eps. Right.

So does Dan tap out here and I give you the suggestion of what I'm thinking, Meg? I will eat tomorrow morning. And then you let me know if you're going, I don't think so, or yeah, that's the meal item. See you later, Dan. Oh, do I leave? Okay, cool. Yeah, well, otherwise you'll know what it is.

And you can't listen to this podcast. Okay. You have to this podcast. Okay. You have to say I will not. I'm just going to take my computer because I've got a parody to write for tomorrow's show. Okay, good. It's probably going to take a few seconds. Yeah. I don't know why, but I've just stayed on this one food the whole time,

and I'm like, surely it should be easy to guess. I also don't know what Hamish and Andy did. I think they did fish and chips. I'm thinking a butter chicken. You know, it's kind of like a curry. There's tomatoes, capsicum, onion. Oh, like a garlic naan. I think you'd go garlic naan.

Would that help or does that just add more flavours? No, I do think if he gets any sort of whiff of garlic, he might be that's garlic and bready and then he might think, oh, he had a butter chicken. Because I just think it's one of those items that you go, oh, he's had a butter chicken? You know, and rather than being like, oh, you had a roast beef. Yeah, yeah, totally.

You know, you had a roast. Yeah, butter chicken. Yeah. I think that's the one. So you're going to have that for breakfast? Oh, yeah, I think I'm going to have to buy it tonight and then keep it in the fridge and then you're going to have that for breakfast? Well, yeah, I think I'm going to have to buy it tonight and then keep it in the fridge and then I'm going to have to reheat it at like 4.30 in the morning

and eat it at 5. I need to hold them in. Oh, why don't I eat it for dinner tonight? Yeah. And eat it again for breakfast. That would be the safest thing. You can't have anything else in between, though. You can't have any, like, after your butter chicken,

you're not having any snacks in the studio. I think I'm going out for Italian tonight. Or do you want to change it to a carbonara? Spaghetti bolognese? That feels meaner. Is the carbonara way worse? Spagbol. I had that last night.

Oh, damn it. Yeah. Garlic bread. Producer Carl. Just out of interest, are you allergic to anything or anything that makes your guts crook? No, I don't think so. Biker.

No, only cats. Can't eat that. Don't eat a cat. I never guess cat. Never guess cat. So you're meant to be going out for Italian tonight. So yeah, you can't do the butter chicken. You have to just do it in the morning.

I mean, I could buy it. They do say, though, that it takes only a couple of hours. That's what the nutritionist said in a previous episode. So maybe I can still go out and do Italian tonight for dinner But I just then Make sure I only eat Butter chicken first thing in the morning at 4.30 And we could give him bronze

If he does guess a carbonara If you have that tonight Like if he happens to guess what you have for dinner last night That's still a feat I could just have a slow processing speed So on the OnlyFans podcast Tomorrow When Dan puts the gas mask on And I guess it's a different version Okay. All right, cool. So on the OnlyFans podcast tomorrow,

when Dan puts the gas mask on, and I guess it's a different version of guess the fart. It's only Dan guessing. He'll have to try and guess buttered chicken. That will be the correct answer. So if you hear that, he has won. Okay. Unless he's a pussy and backs out.

What do you think the chances are he does it? I think he'll do it, but I think he'll throw the mask off right away and not like, he hasn't seemed very happy with the whole thing. Yeah. I thought about asking my wife if she'd do it. Because I was like, if Dan wusses out, I need a plan B option. And my wife would do it. Would she? Yeah, she loves me.

Should. I'll flick her a text. See you tomorrow