The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS pubes for secret santa?

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Not your mum's podcast, unless she's into absolute filth, in which case. Respect. This is Clint Megan Dan's only fans. Podcast, that is. Welcome to the only fans with Clint Dan and Ash London. Appreciate you joining us. Oh, what a difference a day makes.

Oh, yes. If you didn't listen to the full podcast or we listened to the live show. Oh, we did it, guys. Bloody hell. All the work it paid off. We were bloody buzzing. the video will be out later if you did miss it and you don't catch the live show often

so edge breakfast just keep it on our socials for our hit the spot The true hero is Bella who watch those videos Yeah You know what You guys have had longer careers than I have So I'd You'd be fine if you had a better moment than this

But this is my favourite moment I've ever had in my life I'm trying to think of something I enjoyed as much as that And I can't think of anything That brings me as much Like joy in the moment Yeah it was such Like that was the moment

Where I thought Fuck that Like that is The best You can't beat it. Yeah. It would be very hard to press to beat that moment. It's amazing when...

That's what I love about radio is, you know, when you're doing like a live radio and you think anything could go wrong or you're hoping all the stars align and sometimes most of them do if you're a well-prepped show with good chemistry. But when they all align and you're just like, oh my God, this is better than what we had brainstormed

or hoped a week ago or whatever. Those moments on radio were like epic. It was magic because I think we practice it many times. and I'd say probably once or twice we got close to sort of hit in a spot or being there and thereabouts but that was just something else there was something else at play there

because if you listen to the audio where it marries up as well we were all quite out of time a little bit and then we came back and then we went out again so it was just a fluke it was actually a fluke and so often you radio the opposite happens like you think something's going to be amazing and it's fizzles and it's so disappointing

I know do I need to play it? I mean I can play it because you know how normally we're like, if we play the song Spotify, there really is no song because we're singing archipella for most of it. Because people might be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, okay, let me see

if I can grab it. I'm going to eat a little sheet of gnawry while we do that. Okay, got it, got it, got it, got it. Listen to what it sounds like in that micro I'm going to eat this. Oh, that sounds crunchy. Is that? Oh, seaweed. I wouldn't have guessed seaweed. actually so it would make a fun game

what's Ash eating Watson's Ash's mouth okay here we go okay let's go this is what winter at 8 a.m this morning I see a little

silhouette of a man Scaramooch scaramooch will you do the Fandango Thunderboats of lightning very very frightening me Galileo Galileo Galileo Galileo figure

Magnific I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me. He's just just a poor boy from a poor family. We've got back in time here. Okay, we're almost there, guys, come on. Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? Bismilla, no. We will not let you go.

Bissmilla. We will not let you go. Bismilla. We will not let you go. We'll not let you go. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never. Let me go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, Mama Mia, Mama Mia, let me go. Piazabu has a devil put aside for me. For me, here we go. Here we go. Five, six, seven, eight. I don't know how we did it up. Absolute ma'am. I threw a chair on the sky.

Dan's reactions. We watched the reactions because every time our mics were on. on there our camera is recording. And Dan's face, we had to scream recording because he's like, oh! I think I swore as well. I apologize. I think because the music was so loud,

I covered it, but I apologize if anybody heard me say the end. I love fucking life. If anyone gets angry that you said the F word in his head to spot, they can show themselves out. Yeah. Yeah, so...

I've been shaking ever since. Like, since we did it at A dayday and this morning, my fingers have been just all over the show. Hmm. I remember. I'm thinking back when you used to say Dan, what was the like moment in radio where you're like where you've got that kind of feeling.

I remember we did for April Fool's the world's youngest bungee and my daughter was like two and a half or maybe three at the time and we got one of the guys from AJ Hackett bungee in and he had like jimmied up like a harness and made a custom harness to put Cameron in my front like a baby Bjorn and do a

Are you serious? And do a bungee jump? Yeah, producer car. Remember we had we had you on a scissor lift outside for it so we could like film up and live stream it and stuff and then we like got you to record and I know yeah and then I'd already

she was and so I'd already was she three almost three to maybe two just under three and remember we got like the night before we got you to record clips of her crying and like saying she was scared because I was panelling and I was playing the audience is this a serious thing you were going to do no this was for April Falls

but oh my God I missed the April Falls bit Yeah, and most people did. They had no idea it was the 1st of April. We just rocked around like a normal, whatever, it was Thursday. Oh, my, that's so good. I've got audio of camera just, like, crying when she was in the cot and the lead-up, like the week leading up, I'd just record different cries. So then I could play them, and we'd play wind noise, you know,

when you have, like, wind on a mic. So I'd have wind noise, and we had all that with her kind of crying. I was like, it's all right, babe, it's all right. I'm on a cherry picker way up in the air to get all the wind, and the guys next to me go, all right, mate, so what we're going to do is we're going to count you down, but before we do that, we'll just double and triple. People are calling, going mental.

I'm calling sifts right now. I'm never listening to the show again. You guys are such pieces of shit. You're not going to stand. People got, and it got crazy. We were worried none of them were going to come back. But of course, they had to stay to the end because if they're that outraged, they're going to need to make sure that you're going to do what they say.

And I think we won a blackie for that. It was like the... How many years ago was this? Years ago. It must have been, I think that was 2016, because I was still producing the show. It was your first year. like one or two then. Oh yeah, but I've never

ever seen phone lines and text machine blow up like that in my whole career. It was crazy. JJ and Don were like, hey look at the end of the day everyone parents differently and this is Clint's given parental consent and this is what you know because you see people like

Travis Pastrana or like incredible wakeboarders like some of the best wakeboards in the world and they've got their little three year old on a wakeboard with them and some parents do pretty gnarly things with their kids but, mate, the audience went mental. It came for me, the jugular and everything that day. See, I'm such a pussy.

I would have lasted one minute keeping that joke up. But I could, that's actually, I couldn't do it. And you got other people being... Like, I think five to ten years ago, you could get away with almost anything on radio. It's true. Now you can't, because of social media and stuff, it lives somewhere forever. That's the theme. Someone's recording it.

Yeah. And half of the people were in on the joke, because you've got people going, guys. It's April Falls. I've just realized the people getting angry. This is hilarious. So, like, half your audience had kind of worked out the joke And the other half were just like... And really, if it's April 1, it's on them.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, this is the thing we do every year, guys. Yeah, it's like the one day a year that you could almost get away with it. Whereas if you just did it in July, they'd be like, why are you just poking the BF in a reason, you know? Idiot. Produce? Needs?

As my... There we go. Do you guys remember the... I'm going back to hit the spot here. Do you guys remember the PlayStation game Buzz Monkey Party? And everyone have the different controllers and there was like a monkey... Yeah, exactly. Clint, can you jump onto the pre-records button bar, please?

I've got two pieces of audio. I've got Ashes scream from the end of the hit spot, hit the spot. And I've also loaded in the monkey scream from Buzz Monkey Party as well. Can you just play them one off to the other, please? Very niche. It's so niche, I've never even heard of it. Which screen would you like first? Play the monkey first, and then go Ashes.

Now go Ashes. Oh my God, it's the same. That's bang on, yeah. That's all I heard the entire hit the spot And I was cracking up to myself For like a good five minutes We've lost Dan, guys No, I just don't know the game

But it's monkey So you sound like a... She essentially sounds like a monkey, really? Yeah, which is actually a better noise To make than fuck Which is what you do. I shouldn't have said that, should I? Oh, but it just improves

That in those moments We're just so excited You forget yourself And where you are Because we're not dropping F bombs on every day So that just shows like Dan you're just so, It was such so euphoric for you

You just forgot your place. Well, I also, I thought the music was a bit louder than it was. Because it was quite loud in my ears when you brought it up. It was like, almost blew my ear drums out. So I was like, ah, blah, blah, blah. And it was a, anyway. They live and you learn, don't you? Yeah.

So what are you going to do today that's going to come close to giving you that sort of feeling? I think I'm going to take my son to Motet. Oh. So she's all down ill from here. Yeah. Isn't that like the old train museum? Well, there's trains there, Clint. But if you just, there's more than just trains.

Oh, transport. It's the museum of transport and technology. It's his favourite place. If he wasn't sick, I'd take her and meet you there. Yeah, I tell you what, though, there is a room where it's just phones, like old phones through the ears. I could miss that one.

Yeah, we don't even go to the, we only go to the aviation. Yeah, the aviation one's the best. Really, the only cool thing I think is at Motet is the whisper dishes. What's that? Oh, there's like these two massive dishes, almost like, and they're facing you. And then you go and whisper into this tiny little hole. Hey, yeah, she's such a little dick. And then it will bounce back and it will shoot behind you like a good 30, 40 meters.

And it bounces off the other dish and into the person's ear. And they can hear it. And you're just like this tiny whisperer, and they hear it. You're a fucking idiot. It's a very mean. No, you always say something mean. And then the person goes, well, fuck you. I wouldn't say that to buddy because he's a fool.

Don't call him that. I'm like, it's a piss boy. The only reason you love those things so much because you love the sound of your own voice. You're like anywhere. Microphone, headphones, whisper dishes. Oh, I can't wait to my son's old enough and I'll put him in there.

I'll go, you're adopted. Okay. You know, then you say something mean to what you're mates. He's not up, but he does, it screams into the whisper dish, and it comes back in your ear like 100 times. That's like when Carl talks on the producer mic from his studio really loud

and it blows our e-drums out. Sorry, guys. The opposite of the whisper dish. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We're about to have John Campbell And he's now, Ash, you probably don't know John Campbell But he's like a journalist

Like very famous journalist from New Zealand One of the greats really Like Ray Martin. Yeah, the Ray Martin of New Zealand I've heard of him, yeah But yeah, he's incredible He's done some of the best interviews With politicians over the years

Like he's put Chris Luxon in his place He's put heaps a bit different people He always asked Oh, that once for one second Yeah Something to be proud of He's very good He took a photo with Donald Trump

I don't know if I'd do that Christopher Luxon, yeah He has to do if he wants to be legit True, you've got to keep your relationships I guess open across different countries and stuff You never know if you're going to need them That'd be the hardest thing I reckon It's like

Not agreeing with the type of person That somebody might be morally But needing to use them as a relationship And international diplomacy Like you've got to show your country as well New Zealand that you're being taken seriously On the international stage You know John Campbell

He's iconic He talks like he's always about to yawn When you listen to him He always goes like Oh you're lovely boys Does he? When he comes in today, you'll notice it. But he's, he was the Paddy Gower before Paddy Gower.

That's what I said to have. He walked so Paddy Gow could run. Yeah, and he's the journalist of the people. Yeah, he's a good man. I think he's coming in to talk to us about Uber and how you would probably be shocked to find out how little Uber drivers are making. Some of them are doing 70-hour weeks

and are still earning less than minimum wage. But it's a job they can just start now with no real boss but the pay is just ridiculous. I'll talk to him about it because when I went to interview Teddy Swims the other night I called an Uber from my house which is on the north shore of Auckland into the city it's probably like 10 kilometres

and the guy told me he was losing money on my trip and I tipped him that night because I felt like over here but he said he said nine times out of 10 most days he literally can't make ends meet Why if you're losing money then why don't better to stay home

At least you're not losing money He can pay for food and stuff But he's losing He's having to take money out of his savings Because it's not enough So he luckily had savings But he was hemorrhaging money still He's still not coming in

And he's renting a house Yeah And he said he was like a qualified computer technician And where he is from Can't get a job here So that's his only option Why I don't understand that You know when you have a job

Like say you're a doctor or whatever And then your degree isn't recognised In the country you've moved to Why move there? Why move there? All of a sudden, you can't be the thing that you are that you've studied to be of all the countries. Many people in a lot of countries have, you know, face, like religious persecution, poverty, like they're not safe. There's so many, so many reasons.

It's still better to be here that, like, to be... Not being able to pay your rent in New Zealand is a great life compared to, you know, a normal life for many other places in the world. Very, very, very lucky. But it's shameful of a big company like Uber, owned by Elon Musk, the richest man in the world. Does he own Uber? Oh, maybe he doesn't. No, that's his life. yeah whatever

there's some big company that owns it he'll start doing kind of like a Nuba but it'll be like self-driving cars that'll be his company they make more money Uber loses money

from the ride sharing stuff they make money from sharing your data so that they're mining when you get into a car they're not making money from you paying that they're making money

from finding your data and going where are you going what are you searching like the Uber app having that on your phone is worth millions to Uber delete it today but you wouldn't

because you can produce a neaps yeah producer needs to tell me $200 billion is what Uber's worth Yeah And like they can't pay their drivers That sucks, hey

I remember listening to a podcast I can't remember who the celebrity was Oh Scooter Braun And he had somebody come up And we go I've got this idea And blah blah blah And it was Uber

The guy just didn't know It was called Uber And he was pitching it to him As an idea And he goes And we need investors And Scooter was like Okay yeah man

That sounds Yeah fine And he's got a lot of money So he said I invested Quite a large sum of money Into Uber and I've done very well from it is what he said

and I was like you must have made of imagine that all the things you do in your whole career and actually the thing you make the most money from your entire life is just going yeah okay and you invest into some one of your mates crazy ideas it ends up becoming Uber that's crazy also restaurants when you order from Uber Eats if especially if you're using Uber Eats to order pickup always call the restaurant and order directly

if you're not needing it delivered because they lose money most restaurants lose money on Uber eats Uber charges the restaurant so much money to use the service and they're still paying the drivers that pick it up even less than the drivers that do people riding You're not going to be here tomorrow so you're going to miss it

But Dan's costume for tomorrow for Halloween is still secret You'll tell me afterwards It's not a good one though Like it's not secret because it's amazing It's secret because I haven't decided what I'm wearing Oh have you got too many options No I'm partly just thinking of just not dressing up

because I will, next to you and Meg, it won't be good. Like, it's to no point. Like, you guys can shine. And also, he shines in so many segments. Yeah. In many ways, he's the star of the show. So let him not be the star of Halloween. Well, I said it.

You didn't. I don't need you to say it. I think that you, this is you and your Meg's chance. And let's be honest, it's Meg's moment. She loves Halloween. Who would I be to steal her moment from her? Dan said he was going to come as me. He was going to bleach his hair and wanted me to bring some of my clothes from home

that he can wear. I could do that if you want. I just can't be bothered bleaching my hair. Yeah, it's a bit of a mish, especially to try and get the ton of colour right now. And your hair's not fully blonde,

so I'd have to get like some sort of highlights. I can't be bothered. When the dark comes through, it sort of doesn't seem as harsh, hey. Yeah, so you'd have to, you would have had to start three or four weeks ago, Dan. Would you have done the one tooth

that's slightly yellower than the rest? True, could have done that. I got a text from my dentist being like, you need your check up. And I'm like, yeah, you're not going to fix that fucking. chip tooth they ended up putting fake tooth on

and they gave it a yellower colour than my actual teeth pisses me off I don't notice it to be honest otherwise you could go as Carl and just shave your head that'd be quicker That'd be a good one

But then I can't grow facial hair Oh you get a fake beard You'll get one of them from looks sharp I've got plenty of your pubs We could stick to your face That makes me want to throw up Do you know? I got some for you too

I know we're all over the place At the moment But one time for a secret Santa I never forget Anytime someone mentions pubs I think of the story for a secret Santa gift this person

unwrapped it opened it in was oh my God and it was an iPhone they were like someone got me an iPhone iPhone box they opened it up

and inside someone had shaved their pubs into the box and that was their gift that's sexual harassment it is hey that's a fireable offence in most companies

like imagine that that didn't happen at a workplace did it happened the person that did it you would not be surprised the person who did it worked at like the old edge building

so I would be like what this product They don't work here anymore. It happened in the boardroom, in the boardroom during Secret Center at the old edge building. It's Dom Harvey, obviously. I'm new to this country and I know who that is. So neither of them work here anymore. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. And I think it was one of those ones where I think he kind of laughed, but then he was like, okay, but where's my actual gift? And then it was like, no, that's it. And you're like, hold on. There's like a $20 spend on this stuff. I would just never dream. Like, I love a laugh and having a laugh. But chop in your pew.

If I was on the, I love a joke, if I was on the receiving end of someone's pubes, I would make it in my, I would end up in court. I would fucking lose my fucking shoes. If Dan shaved his pubs into a box, I think I'd find that funny. I think it depends. Because I'd be like, right, Dan did it, I'd laugh. There'd be nothing predatory or weird. I'd be putting literally, this is a Macbook box that's full of pubes.

I'd been putting it on social and going, Hey, who wants to see Dan's pew, story incoming, and then Dan had regret ever sending it. A double king-sized bed! What's in it? Pews! Dan's been saving them up. It's like someone shaved their afro.

He's been shaving it into the box every week for 10 years. You've got to be careful when you do that because I had a spoodle and his fur whenever I'd give him a groom would be so soft. And I was like, oh my God, I'm going to make a pillow out of this. So every time I shaved him, I put it in a bag and then I think it was by like

the third shave I went to put it in to see how much I would have because it obviously compresses and it all matted together and it was all it was so gross you thought you would make

a pillow out of your dog's hair that's so fucking weird they get duck feathers and put them in a pillow they're like plucked and like cleaned and well someone thought that'd be good idea

and it was I just thought no one's tried spoodle fur and maybe I'll be onto something and then No, there's a reason why they haven't. So I reckon you'd probably end up shaving your pubs for 10 years, Dan, and then you'd find when you went to put them in a pillow or whatever,

that all will matter to get us. Do you know, I told you about the time just quickly before John Campbell comes in? One time, Ash, I was, I can't remember. I think it was summer, and I was wanting to have a bit of a groom down there. And so I, I think it was Meg that said you need to get a mirror, put it on the ground, and so squat over the mirror, and you can kind of like get everything down there. And so I did, I went home, and I shaved that area.

And then... Like a bumhole as well. It looked like one of those, like, baby chickens before they get their feathers. Yeah, and I got distracted for whatever reason. I can't remember what it was, because Hannah was out at the time. And I went and did this other thing, ADHD, and then forgot about the fucking mirror on the floor of the bathroom covered in pubs. And so then Hannah comes home and goes, and I was downstairs doing something. And all I hear from upstairs is who going, what the fuck is what is what is what is going on?

John's here, team. She opened the door of the bathroom to do. be confronted by a mirror on the floor, imagine, with pubs all over it. John Campbell, John Campbell, can he? John! Hey guys, John Campbell just dropped, sorry. I'm joined, they're just talking about pubes in a podcast.

Yeah, sorry, John. I'm going. I'm not going there. I'm taking the fifth on pubes. Okay, let's wrap up this pot, tidy things up, put our serious. I was going to say pans off, maybe three quarters, and we're going to catch up with John Campbell, which you'll hear on the show. in the coming days. Thanks, team.

Appreciate you. Bye. Rover, Music, radio, podcasts.