The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS Should we go grab a cold one...?

Episode Date: August 3, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. This is the OnlyFans podcast with Clint, Megan, Dan. It's not meant to be as explicit as the actual OnlyFans, but most of the time it is. Kia ora, welcome along to the OnlyFans podcast. Just before we start recording, we're talking about like, snacks and treats and like your go-to. Like if you're trying to eat really clean and healthy all week

and then you get like a cheat item, like what you will use it, spend it on. I think mine's the same as yours snack a jangy something. Snack a jangy something! And my wife even after dinner last night she made a beautiful dinner with like fish and veggies. What did she make? Can you tell me about it? Yeah so yeah she did like pan-fried salmon and then she had like beans and chard capsicum and then she made like beans and chard capsicum. And then she made like a cauliflower mash rather than potato. She's trying to reduce the carbs.

So she did a cauliflower mash with like a jus and then piled it all into like a, almost like a pyramid. Like all the food was on a big triangle. Such a classic dish. Yeah. But then I ate it all because there's not a lot of carbs outside, maybe veggies. I was still hungry. So I'm trying to be good because my wife's trying to restrict, you know, treat foods. And so when I went to open the bag, I tried to do it real quietly, but it wasn't opening.

By the time I pulled it, it went poof. It flew everywhere. She goes, what are you doing? Nothing. So I grabbed like 25 chips and I put them in a bowl and then I rolled the bag up because otherwise I'll finish the bag. Yeah, obviously.

Then I sat down and she looked at me. She looked like angry because she's angry about eating chips. I'll never forget this one time. I was four days into a five day fast. So it's liquids only. And I do them every six months. How does that happen?

It's very good for your body. I don't do it to lose weight, because it's not a sustainable way to lose weight, it's good for stomach. You'll lose it, I mean, as soon as you go back to eating. Of course, it's water weight. But you must eat something. You can't go five days without food.

I can have like tea, no. Oh, you can't have a smoothie. No, no, no, tea, and then every night you get a powder that you can make into a soup, but I don't even bother with them, because I don't like them. I just commit to it. What, you eat nothing?

My wife's done that for like 10 days. 10! It's so good for your body because our body spends so much of its energy digesting all the fucking food, excuse me, all the food we eat constantly all day, all night, eating, eating, eating, that it's not got the energy to actually like rest, repair, heal ourselves. I'd be so grumpy. So I can do four days.

By day five, I start to get like nauseous, heal ourselves. I'd be so grumpy. So, I can do four days, by day five I start to get nauseous, like dizzy, but day four, day three, four, you feel amazing. Really? Your body just feels light. I don't know if I could get through the hunger. Fair enough. Yeah, I don't think I definitely couldn't.

I'll tell you right now, I couldn't go a day without food. Yeah. That's why I have to keep training at the gym, because otherwise I know what I'm like, so I'm like, I'm going to have to like counteract my snacking with like the gym and the assault bike and shit. Of course. And you can't exercise when you do it.

You have to be careful. But the reason I tell a story is once I was doing it, it was day four and Adrian made himself nachos. And I was like so angry at him. Because usually I just let him in. I don't say anything because it's like no one else is choosing to do the crazy fast. Let everyone live their lives.

But it was an after dinner snack. Because he'd already eaten dinner. And I don't think I sat with him for dinner. And then we were sitting on the couch and then he just- Made some guac. Made some, yeah, just like melted shit. And I was like, I remember just looking at the chips being like my kingdom for a chip.

Because you have to be very careful as well once you start reintroducing food after you've gone without for that long too. So it's not even like you get to the end of the chips being like my kingdom for chips. Because you have to be very careful as well once you start reintroducing food after you've gone without for that long too. So it's not even like you get to the end of the four days and just eat whatever you want. You know, you have to have a bit of fat. They say the best thing to break the fast with is like some nuts and an avocado or something.

Boring. But it never, the last time I broke it with a quiche. Oh God, you crazy bitch. Quiche? Oh God, I'd be breaking it with like a burger from Burger King. I'd be going with like a burger from Burger King. I'd be going home with something. Double whopper with cheese and onion rings and barbecue sauce.

That's my go to every time. That is delicious. I don't get burgers from Maccas. It feels naughty. I might get a cheeseburger. Do you know there's a place actually just down the road from where you're moving to called Ralph's and they do the best like Smash burgers. Oh, yeah, you won't be coming anywhere near there. Oh dear

Yeah, not far from Eden Park anyone who knows you know Eden Park in Auckland It's also near all the Indian restaurants, and I didn't know there was a little India there I wanted there to pick up our takeaway and I was like Did you go down to the such a lounge where you go down this like corridor? You told me about it. And I saw that there was a chai truck, so I got a chai while I waited. Such a vibe. God, I just love other country foods.

You guys talk about cheating. I don't cheat. I never, I just eat what I want. Do you? Yeah, it's probably hard to tell when you look at me about this physique. Yeah, but that's, you're not like, if I ate what I want, I'd be fat. Would you? Yeah.

I just eat, like, I'll go home today, I have a whole packet of chips. I've got some maple. Are you serious? Yeah, at home I'll go home and- Would you feel bad at all? Put maple syrup on the chips, you fat little thief. And I've already had some shapes today,

and a bumper bar, and I had corn flakes, frosted flakes for the breakfast. Frosted? Yeah, sugary flakes, frosted flakes for the breakfast. Frosted? Yeah, sugary flakes. And Hannah keeps going, you're gonna get diabetes. Well, do you know, I actually will wash my muesli. I bought this muesli, it was, I've done the exact same thing for buddy.

And I went to go eat it, and then as I ate it, I was like, oh my God, it's so sugary, and it doesn't need to be. And I'm gonna pour milk on it anyway, so it's gonna get wet. So I'll put water in it, and then I'll swish around, swish around, you'll watch the water go like a creamy gray, like a white color, and then I'll just strain it,

and then the amount of sugary water that's going out of it before I'll eat it. I'm with you, I did that for Buddy once, the eye roll I got from my husband, but I'm like, well, if that, or we give him sugar cereal. And then you just get addicted to the cereal because you need the sugar, and yeah. My father-in-law comes, and he's the same same from the country, like, you know, just eats shit.

Like a whole packet of Tim Tams a day. And he has Just Right, and now Buddy loves to sit on Poppy's knee and eat his Just Right. And then Poppy leaves and he's like, I want Just Right. I'm like, no, no, no, only Poppy has that in the whole world. Yeah, it's a special cereal that he makes. Just Right, hey, No one's having that. Someone said to, I saw a thing the other day that said, you know, Sultana brand. One of the most sugary cereals you can have.

Yeah, absolutely. Sultana brand. And then you get the Sultanas and then they'll be white. And you're like, why are they white? It's because they're going to soak them and frost them in sugar. And then they throw them all in there. You're dead. I do like the All brand.

They're just, because I had high cholesterol, so I had to have heaps of fiber. And I got addicted to All Brand. The only time I nearly shat myself was I had some All Brands for a week. Hannah brought them for us, just like you brought brand in your life. And genuinely, I saw myself nearly twice that week.

From All Brand. The only time I'm almost done. I'm almost done. Someone was, you know those little nicotine patches? From Albrand. No, anytime. It gets everything moving straight away. Someone was, you know those little nicotine patches? They're not even patches. They're like a little, they're like a, looks like a chewing gum, like a pellet. Yeah, you chew. Yeah, and I don't know, what are they doing?

They just give them to put them under their tongue, just leave them there. I think they're called like lip pillows, so they just kind of, you chuck it up in between your gum and your lip and you sit it there and it's like a slow release nicotine thing. I've never had one though, don't know what you're talking about. And I don't know, cause they gave me the shits. I'd never done it before and I'd had a few beers at a wedding years ago and my cousins like,

yeah, do this. And I was like, what's it supposed to do? And they made it sound like it was fun and I'm like, well they're not illegal cause it's obviously, you know, better than smoking and so I did it and and then I don't remember it being overly fun And I just remember like waking up in the middle of the night be like fuck and I just ate the shits for like 24 hours Maybe we should try fast and Clint this week. You and I would be so grumpy Clint can't because he would miss exercise, but you could

Oh, what are you trying to say? I don't exercise Yeah You'd be right Guilty as charged. Are you paying for you? But don't need to say it so judgically. Are you paying for the gym now? You don't used to it.

Yes I donate to Lez Mills. Because he needs the money. Weird, you used to have a free gym and you went. And now that they charge you, you don't go. Yeah, they started charging me like earlier this year because they figured it out that I wasn't getting charged. Anyway. I just got texted by my gym.

Hi Ash, nor here from the trainer from, oh no the trainer's getting in touch to see if I want to PT. No thank you darling. Well I just noticed you've been in a few times and haven't seen them. I haven't been in yet. Oh you haven't been in. I haven't been in yet, I've been a week since I signed up. You haven't been once? I've been tired.

Oh your husband even said that he was like fuck I already donated to the gym. No it's because I still feel quite sick. So I feel like if I get on a treadmill, I'm going to just start coughing. Have I told you the story about how I, my trainer? I went and got like three free sessions with a trainer. And it was the classic where at the end of the third session he's like, you're like, you can continue this on and it's $47,000 a year or whatever. And anyway, I came up with this excuse that I was like, I couldn't go to the gym for the next couple of months because I was busy with work, whatever. I can't remember what I said. Anyway, I left it a week and then I went back

and fuck, lo and behold, there he is, the fucking bastard. Of course, he works there. He's got so busy with training earlier. What do you think he was gonna be during the day? So I'd gone down into the changing rooms to get changed to go home and he's there and I managed to duck around and I was like, fuck there he is and went in and stood in a cubicle and I could see throughout the cubicle and I was genuinely, he was talking to people in the changing rooms

I was in there for like 40 minutes sitting in a cubicle because I didn't want to fuck with this guy to see me and I haven't been back to that gym since and yet I still pay for it How long ago is this? Six months ago. I go to another branch. So he doesn't have to see him. You gotta get really good at like, A, not accepting the three sessions anyway.

But like, I'm getting really good at just, kind, clear is kind, kind is clear. I'm sorry I can't afford any more sessions, but thank you. Because he couldn't afford them. He had to pay for them. They're really good at just tickling your butthole. How much does he charge? They just graze around it and then go, here's a few things you can work on, and then if

you come back, I'll get you abs. And it's like, well hold on, you could have just taught me those in the three sessions. If he's tickling your butthole and giving you abs, he's probably worth every cent. Yeah, I'd say. You know what? But that's what I mean. Like, they just give you a little bit of a sip of the iceberg, enough for you to go,

oh, maybe I do want more. And then it's like, yeah, like I say, 40s. It's expensive. It is, sorry. I don't know how anybody affords a personal trainer. I find these days, you can't even find someone to train you one-on-one. Everyone wants to train you like four-on-one,

so there's you and three others, or they just want to sign you up to their app so their app can train you and I'm like, well mate, I can just find anything on YouTube. I want a one-on-one where you're actually pushing me to be better. And to be fair, there's been like three times in my life where I've been like super, super, super, super, super fit and it's only ever been when I've been with a PT like three or four times a week Yeah, and it's just so expensive and if you were training for like a movie or something you justify But if you're just training to get fit for October, it's kind of like and then what? Yeah, the first time I did it was to get fit for my boyfriend who dumped me coming back from overseas

Yeah, so I was like you'd never seen a more motivated human and then I was so hot when he came back We go back together and then then he'd done it again. He's like, you've stopped the PT. He started eating the snake. He started eating the snake jingies again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The thing I loved about the personal trainers, they wipe down the thing before you sit on it.

The, they wipe down the machine. Then you feel important because they go out to the machine before you. It's like a caddy at the gym. They like prepare the machine for you. Even like select the weight. You can probably wrap it up now Clint. Okay thanks mate. Wanna go get a cold one? No. Now Clint, let me just remind you, as your sponsor.

It doesn't have to, hey, how much beer have you got in the fridge? Cause I've got none. I've got a six pack of 2.5's. 2.5%? Fuck you've got it down two to every normal one. So you've actually got three beers at home Dan. Yes okay. Fucking loser. Alright. Don't call me a loser. I'm allowed to do my sports I'm allowed to lash out when I'm having withdrawals. He lashes out when he's drunk. Don't do that. Why am I turning into Linda? I don't know. It does give Linda vibes. Anyway, my darling, see you later. Yeah, yeah.