The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS Suck a D Dan.

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Welcome to the podcast that should have been cancelled before it even started. This is Clint Big and Dan's OnlyFans. Podcast, that is. Welcome to the OnlyFans with Clint Dan and Ash London. I'm the true best person on the show because I changed Carl's neck wound dressing today. Oh, yeah. He's had a ganglion cyst.

No, it's called a sebaceous. But I think, I can do that. Gangly is a different one. I couldn't even do that for my wife. By the way, Carl, I reckon that, because I saw the wound on your back, it's not a wound. It's a, like a golf ball lump, a red golf ball lump on the back of his neck. But the doctor's done an incision and then drained it. But I reckon you need a stary strip.

A what? You need a stary strip over the wound because it's big enough to need something to get together. To hold the cut together instead of it. It feels the way it is. Because, yeah, right. Because I can't see it. I haven't seen it. Is it quite tidy, though?

Like, do you think of a scar? It's very tidy, but it will not heal because you move your neck so off and you need sterry strips to keep the skin together. I'm going back to see a nurse today, so I'll say my friend Ash said I need a starestrip and she changed the dressing this morning. I reckon I know. You could be a doctor. That's so strange that you of all people who doesn't like germs offered to change his wound.

I know. Offered as well. And I clean my hands first so I wouldn't give him any of my germs, then I clean my hands straight after that. Good on you. I trust the process of cleaning. And I do love medical things. But it's when someone is in the room with you that's got a bug or something you don't like that.

If he said, can you, like, you know, wipe my nose because I've got the flu, I would say do not come to work for two weeks. What about, like, a gym? They reckon the dumbbells are dirtier than toilet seats because everyone's obviously touching on their hands. People will wipe down machines, but they will very rarely ever wipe the handle of a dumbbell. Yeah, you will never see me eat a gym without a pack of a detour wipes. You know what the dirtiest thing in the world is to touch? petrol pumps Apparently

Someone did swabs on them Apparently the amount of germs Because people hold them And people The scum of the earth grab them to fill up their car For everyday people Oh no but anybody Anybody

He means people that aren't electric car drivers I can't describe to you How often I'm thinking about germs in my hands Like if I went to I would not go and get petrol If I didn't have Alcohol swabs in the car Do you know you're rubbing off on me

little Ash, because this morning I've got this like little stress ball it's a cube, it's a tiny little cube my daughter got it for me from Father's Day, it's the best $6 she's ever spent. And this morning I came in, I thought about how long, and how many days I've been touching her. I went to go all the hand sanitised and I drenched it this morning and hands

man. You've been rubbing off. She's been rubbing off on me. Oh my goodness Ash, I don't know you were that close. Yeah, just rubbing off on him. Now we could talk about germs for a bit longer or we could call the guy that keeps telling me to sack a dick. What would you do for them?

Oh, girl, we don't know. You say a guy but I think that's going to be the fun part of the game because the three of us have to try and like criminal minds when they would, what's the word when they'd find a criminal

but they would create a profile like a criminal profile of the type of person that would do this crime so then they knew who they were looking for because it could have been anybody. So the guy or girl who keeps texting Dan and has for the last probably three or four weeks at random

telling Dan to suck a dick. I reckon they're desperate for us to call them. But they're affectionate. I kind of like them because they've a couple of times sent through suck a dick. Fine, because I've said some stuff that's maybe a little bit controversial. And then the other day, they messaged and said,

Dan doesn't suck a dick today. Yeah, you did something nice. Emotional and it was like a feel-good moment. They said, Dan, you don't have to suck a D today. So, okay, so let's say they have a heart I think they're a bit of a jockster I think it is a guy Can I throw something out there

Maybe they're a gay guy Who actually loves to suck a D And it's a great thing When they're saying suck a D That's like a love you They're offering. They're saying you legend Oh okay so are we putting down in our profile Like gay?

No It feels too left I was just saying Could be I mean the chances are they won't answer So I'm going to call them now I'll stop pre-courning our profile I'm going to say

It's like a tradie, mid-20s, up for a laugh. Yeah, I'm thinking young as well. Like, what are we, like, a 24? I'm a bit older. 26, 27, yeah. I like, I reckon they're a little bit older, blokey. Really blokey. I think bloke.

They'll answer and go, hello. No, see, I feel they're more like a nepeer type vibe. Oh, like a little rascal. Yeah, a bit more of a rascal than a burly, like chippy who swings a hammer. We'll find out. Okay, well, they probably won't answer. and we've talked to wasted our time. But let's just see.

We're calling now. I think they work in Hospo. They like having a little bit of bans, you know, with... Hello? Hey, good morning. Mystery listener who's been telling Dee to Sucker Dan to Suck a Dan. Dan to Suck a D. We have just tried to profile who we think you are, how old you are, what you do.

And we're not calling to give you a piece of our mind. We actually... We think it's hilarious. He's my man, okay? If I'm going to suck his D, I'm the one that's going to do it. No, not his D. He just said A. You're not on here, by the way.

We're just recording our Onlyfans podcast. What was your name? Oh, okay. Kingie. Kingie. How old A, Kingie? Because me and Clint thought you might be late 20s, but Dan thought 30s. Slightly older.

Yeah, I'm older. 40. 40. We missed it. Okay, and these guys were saying like a tradie. I said, Hospo. What sort of area do you work in? Forestry.

Forestry. See, I knew it'd be that sort of person. Yeah, you really know your... And you know what? It makes me laugh every time you text through Kingie and say, Suck a D. You may think that it is... That it might be, I'd be hating it. But, oh, I kind of like it.

Because, Kingy, do you remember the moment? It doesn't come to mind what we were specifically talking about, but there was some sort of feel-good moment, and you text, Dan doesn't have to suck a D today. What was that? Do you remember what happened and you text that in? Would have been A-lister, I think

Oh, you might have agreed with him on the A-lister Yeah, maybe I said something that you would agree with And you were like kind of, he doesn't need to today Yeah, yeah So do you like the show? Have you got any other feedback other than direct feedback to Dan? Is there anything you want to see more or less of? It was Father's Day, Kingie.

It was the Father's Day thing that Dan did for me. Oh, okay. That's what I was. The producers have dug it up. Yeah, sorry, back to Ash's question. Yeah, yeah, happy with the show lately, other than that? I enjoy the show, I listen every day. Oh, bless you.

And if you're in Forestry, you probably have, do you have it on in the cab, and it's just on for most of the morning? Yeah, I'll listen to the edge at 6am until 4, 5 p.m. Oh, no. Oh, you're a full-time listener. Edgy, love to hear it, Kingy, Edgian. Well, you never stop telling me to suck a D. Never stop, Dar.

You never, if there's a day where I don't get told to Suck a D, I'll be sad. I'll send it every day. Bless you. If we don't get one, we'll be doing a welfare check. Yeah, it's my favourite text. You'll be thinking something's happened in the forest. The tree's stuck on Rolk. Imagine that's how he gets rescued by the emergency services because he doesn't text us.

So we say, send out a search party and then he's rescued and then, you know. What a story. Thank you, Edgebury. And if that's that, they said the only way to save him is Dan has to suck a D. I'd do it. for you, Kingie. That's weird. He loves it.

Yeah, thank you, my bro. We appreciate how much you love and support the show and the edge in general. Yeah, yeah. Thank you, guys. Thank you, babe. Sorry, we'll have a double pass to the movies floating around somewhere. I gave a one away today.

But Margot Robbie and Colin Farrow in a movie next Thursday. And it says, what if you could open a doorway and walk through it to relive a defining moment? moment from your past. Colin Farrell, Marga Robby, single strangers who meet in a mutual friend's wedding, and soon, through a surprising

twist of fate, find themselves in a big, bold, beautiful journey. I can't see this movie quick enough. I know. So we'll send you a double past, Kingie, so you and whoever you like can go along, check it out. Oh, good, thank you. You're welcome, bro. Thank you, Kingie. What a man. What a man. What a guy. What a man, what a man. What a mighty good man. Clint's just rewarding people who are telling me to suck a dick. Thanks, Clint.

How's our Uber-Eats? Have you ordered it? Yeah, it's on its way. Dash is waiting so he's there to pick it up, but the places. Do you use DoorDash, not Uber-Eats? Yeah, because I'm a DoorDash pro or whatever it is. Like, I'm a pro. I love it. If anything gives you levels, if anyone gives you levels of membership, I'm addicted.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's kind of like the kids thing. Put your foot, sorry, and I got my own stool. I got a little mini-sul now. If you want to get rich, you need to do, like, a mystery toy. Yeah, all that. You need to sell mystery toys to children, and it needs to be a collect them all. And then what you end up doing is selling the same toy to the same kids

because they don't know which one they're getting. And then they'll be like, I need all six. It's just such a way, it's just so bad for the environment. And I'm sorry, I forgot your Disney disc. You know, yeah, we're collecting those Disney discs at the moment. And the funny thing is, George doesn't care. But Hannah and I've got so invested into it. I met a guy down at the shops the other.

the day, like, because he messaged on our community page, I've got these X, Y, Z, if anyone wants them. And it was like a drug deal. I met him down outside our local supermarket. I didn't even met the guy. What was he getting for it? Nothing. So why would he go? Why would he post it online, arranged all the admins to let him meet you? I had to suck his dick for it.

Thank you, Dan. I didn't know you're collecting those things. I've literally got a whole bunch in the front seat in my car right now. I was going to put them in the bin. Yeah, I've been bidding them. The kids open them, look at them, walk off, and then I'll bid them. They're so bad for the environment. I need a Mickey Mouse. Is it the Mickey Mouse?

I've got the Mickey for you. Okay, yeah, great. We'll go and get them. If you've got a Mickey, then shit. Oh, take them Mickey. So there's some things I'd do. And I'm happy, how I've done. No, even if you suck his dick, he doesn't feel special.

You're just throwing that around, willy-nilly for everyone these days. It's a brand-outy supermarket. You suck anyone, though. Yeah. Anyway. All right. Well, hey, if you are listening to this, in real time on Thursday, 11th of September

and you don't normally listen to the show live, you listen to the podcast, tomorrow's the time to listen live, because if you get on here, tell Carl you're an only fan's listener and see if he can slip you through it to On Here, and if you get on the air, you'll want to double pass to Electric Avenue. True, if you say you're an only fan's listener, that'll get you in. Definitely, or if

you say you suck stick. Yeah, yeah. Say Clint sucks dick for once. Or, um, Ash. Dad, okay, while we're on it, yeah, you definitely would, Ash. Oh, see? I just said I do. Yeah, I know, but him shouldn't be assuming.

There's nothing bad about sucking dick. No, I know, but he shouldn't really. We were talking about how the aliens are supposedly coming in like two weeks. They thought it was an asteroid, but the asteroid's changing speed and turning, and they think it's an alien. Obviously. We were like, if you only had two weeks left, what do you do? Like, you've got to fast forward your life and tick off all your bucketless things. And Dan said he'd suck a dick.

No, I was joking. No. I wouldn't actually. You said, I just want to know what it feels like. I said I'd murder someone. That's what I said. That's what he actually did say. Yeah, but along with the D-sucking.

Whereas... He'd suck their dick so good that they would die. I'd suck them to death. From ecstasy. I was so good. You're like, oh my fuck this. So arrogant of you to think you'd be that good on your first try. Unless it's not.

Unless it's not. See you guys. Maybe I'm just missing my calling all that years. I enjoy your last two weeks, everyone. Thanks.