The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS UGH!

Episode Date: August 8, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Welcome to the podcast. That should have been cancelled before it even started. This is Clint Meg and Dan's OnlyFans. Podcast, that is. Welcome everybody to the OnlyFans. I was just going to say we're recording this podcast, but today's Friday, Guess the Fart. Now, here's the thing. We've got a guest coming in, so we can't record this now.

We're doing Guess the Queef anyway. You've got your words if you want to do it, Ash. No, I was thinking we'll do the podcast. And just before we play guest to fart, we'll pause it. Then we'll interview two-time Olympic champion Valerie Adams about women's health. Then when she leaves, then I'll drop my guts and guess the fart. Do we get Dame Valerie Adams to do the fart today? No, she even as a foreigner, I know that she's too classy for that.

Although talking about women's health week could be a good segue to guess the quiff. If we weren't wanted to do it. I don't think I've ever done a quiff. And I'm not just saying that. Carl's got his hand up. Don't ask her. I don't know, no, no, I wasn't going to ask about queues. A thing just happened out in the office before you guys were doing something else,

where, you know, Jaden, who's the work at the edge, we love Jaden. He came over, he picked up a megaphone from someone's desk, and then he farted through it at full power, and the whole office, and I'm talking, all the sales upstairs were leaning over the balcony, wondering what's going on. What a menace. Yeah, real. See, that's the different level.

We're on different levels, him and I. I like it for the game, but I'm not going to try and bring all the, the people from upstairs who work in sales and marketing over the balcony to go, who the hell did that? Even though, even the farts are funny. Would you like the megaphone though? Don't hate it. Come on, bring the megaphone, car.

Yeah, bring it in. Yeah, Jane man the megaphone. Mix it up a little bit. But I think we're not doing it now. No, we can't risk the studio smelling it fart before Valerie Adams comes up. Yes, she's a dame. You don't fart in front of a dame. Hey, one thing I'd like to bring up on the show,

a situation that happened to me yesterday, and I'd like to know what I should have done know what you would have done in this situation. Oh, Valerie's here. Let's pause this, and we'll be back. All right, we're back. Val was lovely. We've lost Ash, though, in the process. Yeah.

I think she's just left because she's like, I don't want to be involved. I don't want to be in the room for this. Yeah, well, she's got an air purifier going for it. It's got the blue rings of the room, the ears all nice. Do you just fart into that? Fart into her air purifier. I could do one quickly now and do it.

Well, it won't count as part of it again. It seems a bit mean, though, doesn't it? Does it? It does. No, you're right. With her not here. Well done. Hey, I'm going to, I put this question to you already in a group chat, Dan.

I was wondering what Ash would do. But I like to donate to people who are like standing there with cardboard signs out on the street because I think I would much rather be the person that is lucky enough to be able to give money than be the person standing there with a sign. Because I imagine things have to get pretty dire for you to put yourself out there. like that. So if I've got change in cash, I'll always see what I can do. And in fact, I think it's really cool. My kids now, I'll be like, Dad, this is a guy with a sign. Can we give him some money? And they get really fizzed on it. And then Ty gave his own money once. And I was like,

cool. Teaches them to think outside of your own financial situation and look for opportunities to help others. Anyway, that's my little spiel. I had five bucks. And I was walking into a supermarket and I realized I had a bit of a dilemma because he was a guy who was in

a very nice jacket and had a really great guitar and he was busking and he was playing the electric guitar over

well-known songs because maybe he can't sing but he's very good on the guitar so you're like cool he's out there

he's grinding away trying to make some money next to him three metres two probably right next to him as a guy

in like a pretty ragged full leg cast and is looking pretty down on his luck with a sign being like any change greatly appreciated. And what do you do?

Because the guy clearly who, with the cardboard sign, needs the money more. But the other guy is actually going out there and performing and trying to show off his talent to try and make some money. And if I give it to the guy doing nothing, doesn't that tell the other guy

he's wasting his time sharing his talent with the world? I have, this is a tricky one because I never give money to people that are on the street. I just don't. I know. I know you should have way to bash to you.

No, I know, and that probably sounds ruthless, but it's like, where does it end? Because the New Zealand is a rare, like if you walk it down Queen Street in Auckland, you'd be giving way $200 every time you walk down it. And you can't choose people. So I also have a rule on the flip side of that that if I stop and watch a busker,

you have to give the money. Otherwise, you're almost stealing from them because you've stopped and enjoyed their talent, and then you're kind of just like going, thanks, see you later. So if I ever stop for like more than a minute to watch someone, busking I always have to be like I need to pay them now so I'd probably ignore both and walk through

I was like to be fair I was just walking into the supermarket I was not like I stopped and was like oh my gosh and stood there for a long period time because I was like oh no I've already got the money out I can't ask one of the guys if he's got changed for a five so I can split at 50-50 also I never carries cash anymore

I'm not like I don't I never carry cash like the other day I went to a cafe and I had cash for the first time ever. It was a $50 note that I'd been given for something on Trade Me that this guy had purchased off me and I had it in my wallet and had been sitting there for quite a while and I'd been to a cafe and got some stuff and I paid for Hanna's and my breakfast and it came to like $47 or something and we're out to pay with the $50 and they wouldn't accept it and I was like, well that's all and I did have my F-POS card in my thing and my credit

card. But fuck him. And so the lady was like well we don't accept cash and I said well that's all I've got. Oh well then you can either take it or I can And it got to the point where I was like, I'm either going to leave because I don't have any other way to pay it. I've got legal tender or you can take my money or and then so she ended up going having to get the manager and it started to the point where I was about to get my EF post card out and be like, oh, stuff it. But then you've got to show your hand and you're lying.

And so then she came back and they begrudgingly took it and they had to get like change out of the manager's wallet for it to give me the like $3 back for the change. Unbelievable. I don't see how you can run a cafe. not be set up to take cash. But like heaps of places like that now, so that's why I don't carry cash, long story short. But it says legal no, you can't say long story short after a long

story. Yeah. The fucking people that do that, yours actually wasn't that long. It was pretty long. But you know those people that tell and they go anyway, long story short. You go fucking too late for that one, bro. Seven hours later. Too late. That's what there should be a thing where you just go too late. So that's why I don't give to the homeless. Next. Okay, so I just put the money back in my pocket and just give to neither.

Is that what did you do? and he's here he's going to say I paid both of them I gave them $50 they What a fucking wanker No the guy who made eye contact with me first Was the guitarist So he saw me coming and looked at me And I had the money

And then I didn't realize Because I could hear the music Didn't realize the cardboard sign guy Had picked an awful spot right next to the busker So I was like as I went there I was already heading to the guy with the guitar And then I was like oh no And I locked eyes with the musician

So that's where the money went but then I wonder if I'd made the right call because he looked like you know he didn't need the money as much as the other guy but I'm like you don't want to discourage people sharing their talent and go all you need to do, bro is take your shoes off and go stand on the corner of the road with a cardboard side I was like, I don't play your music.

That's interesting. I mean, I would have just said no to both. I think you're better to say no to both. Sorry guys, there's a bit of a dilemma here. I can't split a five so you're both going to miss out. No, definitely not. Just ignore both of them and walk straight through. You don't owe them anything.

you don't and other people will say oh your privilege and er and yes that is right but then where does it end what does spider man say with great webs I think he says power comes great responsibility but I don't have great power and no very little responsibility being in regards to your finances probably have a lot more power than the man with the carpools line no I would just go sorry I know you're homeless but my wife controls my account so I have nothing to do with it I get given an allowance probably less than you word, if I'm honest. So, yeah. Maybe I should set up shop next to him.

Let's go. I thought that I'll leave you with tear the eyes. Producer Nibia, get in here. Smell. A stinky mystery photo to one tail. Oh, guess the fox. Someone complained that we weren't doing the, oh, anymore. So we got you.

Yeah, you ask, we'll give. It was from an anonymous podcast fan member. Otherwise, I'd say their name. But they're anonymous, so there's the oar. So without the absence of Ash London, you get to table the first fart. I feel so honoured. It's been a long morning. Oh, you've lost your spot.

No, no, no, you can still have a guess. He was saying he was so honoured to be able to guess the fart in your absence and then you walked out. No, I hate this. No, let's all guess. Stay, darling. Ash is just jealous that we haven't changed it to kiss the queen. How about you said kiss the queen? Kiss the queve?

That's another one. Imagine that. We'd have to draw straws for that one. Shocker, not because of the quay. Long story short, by the way, the dilemma was you have a $5 note and you go, as you're walking to the supermarket, you see a busker who's actually performing

a musical talent for everybody, and that guy with a cardboard sign and they are within like a meter or two of each other. What do you do with the $5 note? Buy myself an ice cream. Oh, you're... See, I'm Basker, Eva Chime. Would you get one of them a lick?

I'd give $5 to the busker and then I'd buy the homeless guide launch Oh, that's better than what Dan said What did he say? Just ignore both of them You would No, I can't, I get that real funny, but I'd think about it all day Yeah, same, and then I'd feel bad And I go, did I give enough?

I know, it probably sounds ruthless of me But I'm like, where does it end? As soon as you give to one, then I'm like, oh, but what about that? Do you know what, the one that I can't Is when they're charity people in real life in the supermarkets, try and, like, get you to give the money to charity. But it's like, I'm living my best life. I'm living my life here and last week.

And this is going to sound really depressing, but I don't mean it to be depressing. I mean it to be funny because it's fine. I was walking into the local Woolworths. And this guy goes, do you care about preventing suicide or something? Like, made it really personal. And it's like, my dad killed himself when I was 16. If I wanted to, like, roll this guy. I could be like, yeah, well, if only one.

someone could have saved my dad when he killed himself when I was 16 to really make him think about asking that question, but I didn't. Well, he's going to be there direct with you. Right. He deserves it. And the whole weekend, I was imagining what I could have turned around and it would been at the moment in the movie where like, boom, but I didn't do it. So maybe I'll go back.

What did you say? I just said, no. No, thanks. But I said that's in my mind. Now that doesn't come across Bruce for the same. But in my mind, that's okay because it's like, you know, but who does he think he is? Yeah. Do you know, sometimes I go to the supermarket and I'll see those pears.

pesks out the front. With their vests on and stuff and I'll go to another supermarket. Saying, I won't even go in now because I can't even walk past and say, no, thank you. I'll be like, I can't be bothered just like sidestepping you. I had once, I had buddy having a meltdown and the guy still tried to make me

stop and talk to them for feed their children. I was like, can you say that I'm a woman in a shopping centre by myself with a child who's having a meltdown? Do you think I need another layer of stress in my life right now? I'll pay you to fuck off. I know about you, but I got a fart brewing. I don't want to have to suck it back up and then not

and he gets stage fright. Well, see, this has changed my guess now because it's been brewing so long. Oh, no. So I think there's going to be a longer one with a shorter follow. Can I still do it first? Yeah.

Thank you. Okay, right. I got. Fucking out. That's really, that sounds like a little bit of follow through at the end. Okay. Not follow physical. You mean like an extra fart?

Yeah. Okay, that's a good one. I'm going to go. Oh, fuck, how. What is that? Does that? Does that? It's Christ.

Okay. Everyone will be leaving. Okay, and Clint, just a little bit of a change of tack for this week. I think this is what we're going to do. You're going to find to this, the loudspeaker. Well, I can't pull the trigger and you're going to have a hold. I can help, but I can pull the trigger. I'll come around.

Here we go. I'm coming around. I'm so tired that I can't even be bothered standing up at the end of the far to exit the studio. I'm just going to just sit in the stink. No, well, that's why I'm standing up so I can easily exit. Vacate straight away. You need to turn around. Closer.

Okay, here we go. I don't remember our thoughts. He pays there. Yeah! Oh, there was three. Dan! I thought I'd leave and would tear the eyes. Guess I thought what's that smell?

Who could have guessed? I thought two, but not three. Guess the fuck? I need to go cocky and I was like, I think I got one more. God damn it. Wow. Amazing. Try again next week, Kate.

Dan has already gone. Could you hear of the ash? Yeah, I can hear you. I'll give you 50 bucks if you have a sniff. of the mouthpiece on that thing. Look, look. It's gone too far. We've gone too far.

It's Friday. Hannah won't let you. If you have to tell Hannah that you gave me 50 bucks. A real big one. Nah, the germs. I'll buy you lunch. I'll buy you lunch.

I can do lunch. No, I know you'd do it. That's all right. All right, guys. Have a great weekend. We'll see next time. Bye. Rover. Music, radio, podcasts.