The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS we had to buy a new bed!!

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Welcome to the podcast that should have been cancelled before it even started. This is Clint Meg and Dan's Only Fans. Podcast, that is. Welcome to the Only Fans, everybody. There's a few of us in studio. She's a full house. Clint Dan Ash London and there, my old man, John, my mum, Christine, and Dan's Mum Julie.

Yeah, it's bring your parents to work day. You guys can jump on the mic, because this is just a podcast, so you don't have to be all nervous parents about what you do and don't say. Yeah, you can say anything on here. I say fuck. Oh, in front of your mum. Yeah. What's the worst word you know, mum?

Say it right now. Can't. Oh. Oh, okay, you're too, John. I can't be that. You know you can't use the same word again, but give us one. Any naughty word you can think of. Sex.

Sex. Trust John. You took Christine's word. It's quite pathetic. Oh, that's very good. Do you want to do, Christine? Do you want to play, Mum? I know what he worked

Yeah You have to get close You have to yell it Because you're away from the mic Gunter Gunther Isn't it just a gun Is it doing gunt?

What is it gutter I've never heard of gunter Oh yeah It's where It's where your gut And the first word Your mum said come together Isn't it?

That's a gun Pretty close together Yeah She's made in her own And I respect that Nauty, naughty Yeah Wow okay

Have you learnt anything What's it been like So I know you guys been on the air before and been in studio but I guess you guys sat in since 7 30s that's like almost two hours yeah we thought you'd be gone by 8 but you stuck around it's pretty quick it's gone pretty quick it's gone pretty quick yeah it does eh when you're just on after every song and after every air break yeah there's not a lot of time to sit and get

bored yeah I'm having another bread roll yeah it's been great yeah we brought him bread uh seafood chowder Christine made in his termamix and I caught the dish yeah you called the fish He caught the fish. Like, he showed me a photo of the fish it was in it. My goodness me, that's a big snapper. How many pound was that? Probably be about 14, I suppose. 14, 14 kg's?

Pound. And do you prep the fish yourself? Or does the wife do that? Oh, not. Oh, I love that. I feel libel. Yeah, that's part of it. That's the worst part of it, actually.

Like, washing the boat always sucks in all the stuff. But actually, afterwards, you know, finally, boats washed in the fishing rods and all the things. rack it up, you go, you got to go chop all the fish and get fish guts. And honestly, it'll take like two days to get it out of your hands, the smell. Any gloves or something? You've got a big bag of it? Yeah, no, I got mine boned and filleted and vacuum packed. Wow.

Just handed to me. As a service, it'll do that. No, yeah, dad does that. He does the filleting and the vacuum packing. Yeah, and then he gave it to me in a coolly bag with a frozen, one of those frozen pack things as well. Keep it cold. Is that the only meat you're good around or can you do other stuff?

You're good with breasts? Oh, very good with breasts. Yes, there he goes. Fresh chicken. Very good with fresh chicken. Pulling it apart. Dissecting it, examining it. Oh, now he's got too fun.

You want me to keep going? Yeah, you can encourage him. It's the only fans, you can. Oh, yeah, funny. We didn't get the story, Ash, because it probably wasn't fronnier. You guys were talking about expensive bags. Yeah.

And like big purchasers. and mum got a big purchase once but it came with a bit of a hook in it to keep the old fishing pun going Yeah And was it your idea or dad's idea? Dad's, of course What did mum want?

I wanted a diamond ring And how much was it? I said to her, I'll do your deal You can go and get that diamond ring For 30 days You can have that diamond ring She said you're on Yeah

You know what the best part? Do you know the best thing? Yeah He was watching, oh, my mate, just to see me walk away and Christine and say, come on, let's go. That was the best. Come on. Yes.

God, that makes me so happy. 30 days. How was what was the ring worth? Three grand, about 3,000, but we're talking 1980. Whoa. Yeah, we were young then. I didn't end up getting the ring because we had to go and buy a new bed. It was bugged.

Okay. It had the map of the world on it. But then. Your dad did surprise me and we renewed our wedding bells at 20 years and I did get another ring. There we go. It took a while. Wow.

Because I was going to say that's almost like prostitution in a way because I guess that's about a hundred bucks a time for a $3,000 ring, 30 days. No, it's just a compromise. That's what marriage is. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. We both get what we need. I wouldn't mind paying for it.

If my wife said, oh, you've got to start paying for it, I'd be fine because the money's just going out of my pocket into hers and kind of back into mine. You still can't believe that I said a month and not two. Yeah, that's true. I know.

Then he tried to cut me back to every second day. Yeah, because I knew that I'd be cut up after 30 days. Exhaust it? Can't go to work. I know, I'd make it last a bit longer.

Put out to it past you. He couldn't close. Oh, no. Oh, a lot of shit. Funny. God do you do too. It's so much. Good.

It's getting so hot. It's really lovely that you two. Like, what a, what a, all jokes aside, what a lovely relationship you have. Yeah, it's pretty good, isn't it? Yeah, I didn't actually realize how rare that was, I think, growing up. Because you just think, I, and most

people, like, that's pretty much got to be the norman, and I've realised, as I've gotten older, how actually rare that is. So, we always talk about when we have our, or your wedding anniversary or if it's mine or my brothers were anniversary about the example that was set for us when we were, like, young

and had no idea. But also the example of just being able to talk about sex. And if my mum was here, she He'd be like, Jesus, Lord, let's pray. She'd be like, I pray for you. Shout to the Lordy. She'd be out to the Lordy. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, da-na, da-da-ha. Yeah, but Dad, it'd be like grabbing mum in the kitchen of, like, family dinner.

She'd like, get out of it, John. And I'd be like, Dad, we're all here. And so my wife and my brother's wife had to get used to that because they were like, what the hell is going on? I'm like, oh, he does that. Just don't let him do it to you. No. The most one gets weird. Just relish is beautiful, by the way.

I'm smashing the relish bread rolls straight into the relish Oh, delicious Yeah, that relish is coming My mum's been very quiet here You haven't said a word She's too nervous now She doesn't want to give out all her story

No, I haven't got a partner you see So I can't You can play the field of me He left me, didn't he? Yeah My mum used to have like a bit of a thing For our producer Brock He's a good-looking boy

He did not I met Brock recently He's good-looking guy Yeah, you went on a date, didn't he? He took out on a date and everything. I suspect, though, Julie, like, you get up to more than Dan knows, or am I wrong in that? Because he's like, nah, not my mum, not my mum.

I think she probably does. She just doesn't tell you about it. In what way? Like, you can get out and do whatever you're like. You're single, you can see who you want, when you want. Oh, all the time. Yeah. You're not funny, you could if you wanted to.

Yeah, she just doesn't want her. She's just like, I've clocked it. I've clocked it. That's what she says. I had a great life. I've done it all. I've got my friends, I've got a life. I can do what I want without telling anyone where I'm going.

She's so happy. Isn't that, though, when you've got your stuff together, you don't need no man, and everything's great. And that's when life goes, oh, okay, well, enter Stephen. But only if you're open to it. Yeah, you'll be at a Balinese resort, and all of a sudden Steve's there, and he's a widower. And all of a sudden, he's, like, chatting away. You go, oh, I didn't think this was in my name of cards. How would you go, Dan, if you went on a holiday to Bali and came back instead of met someone?

I'd be fine. I think that would be great. But I don't know if you would ever be comfortable doing that, would you? Well, I probably wouldn't go to Bali. Fair enough. Paris. Paris, yes. Paris, yes.

I mean, a friend with benefots would be good. Come on. Yeah, you like the way you like it. Exactly. Well, if anybody's listening, wants to be Jules as friends with benefits. Don't call me. Don't expect anything from me. me live my life for when I've got needs and urges

you come when I call. I mean, the thing is if I met somebody now that'd be my age or older because I'm not into young men. Just so that you know producers. No fleeting with my mum. Damn it. Yeah, no. But I mean, with my luck, I'd probably

meet him and, you know, two weeks later, we'd have a stroke or something. Couldn't keep up, eh? How big of social sector? He's like, I've got to handle it a stroke. He just died of overheating Where do you live killing?

I never I never had a chance She's laughing She's laughing Oh that's laughing Oh that's so good Never stood a chance growing up What's your age break

What's the, like you know When you jump on the apps And it'll give you like a scale of How's the youngest, the youngest you go and the oldest you go? Oh, maybe 69. No, 69. Yeah, 69's a good number. 69.

Oh, my God, this is brilliant. How do you feel about this, Christine? Oh, dear. I wish Meg was here. I feel like she'd love this so much. So funny. Is it time to get into our Friday game? Yeah, special guests.

We can't, we can't, Julie can't be subjected to this. Okay, do you know the game? I sure don't. I'll run the intro. I thought that'll leave you with hairy eyes. Guess the fight wants that smell. A stinky mystery for us to one veil. Guess the fight.

Okay, that's the original. We did request variations of that using AI and we got some new ones. I mean, obviously there was the, lose one This was okay Yeah A fart that will leave you with teary eyes

I could through the R&B one I'm going to ruin it But too much Good down with a shorter injury You're right Here we go I thought that we'll leave you with teary eyes Guess the far

What's that smell I think he missed three for us to one I mean it's sexy Okay, here's a couple We haven't heard before This is a reggae version They've all got quite the intro I'm crazy

This is a computer A fart that will leave you With teary eyes Yes the fart was that smell A stinky mystery For us to unveil Yeah maybe I can rotate them Yes, yeah.

Okay, do you want a drum and bass version? Yes, please. Unless the intro is not 30 minutes long. Yeah. Okay. Yep, once again. Yo, listen up, break your butt, fuck her up. Guess the bar.

Oh, it's more house. Yeah, yeah, I like it. Yeah, no. I think that reggae is my favorite so far. Just Becky Hill. Wouldn't that be great if we get Becky or someone in, get them to record these? Okay, one last one.

What's this? What genre? Rhythm? What's that? A fart that will leave you with teary eyes. Guess the fart? What's that smell? A stinky mystery for us to unvelled.

Where is it? Oh, here's the drop. Here it comes. They're long, aren't they? Guess the fart. Oh. Then's really need to go. Guess the fart.

Boom. Guess the fart. Yeah, that's what it needs to do. Yes, yeah. Okay. Oh, well. All right, so we're all playing. We'll take a guess.

If you haven't heard this game before, Dad, everyone guesses what they think the fart that I'm about to do will sound like. I'll fart into the mic and whoever's the closest way. This is a seafood shout to fart, too. Let's just let the parents do it, eh? So they all guess. Okay, so John, you're up first. Table your fart.

You just do it with your mouth. Just do a fart noise with your mouth about what you think the fart coming out of me will sound like in about 30 seconds. No, he doesn't actually do ones like that. They're always tight. He's got a very tight anus. Yeah, they're usually like... Oh, my, thank you, eh.

Okay, my mum, Jules, what are you thinking it's going to do? Um... Sort of like a... Yeah. High-pitched one. Okay, I respect it. Okay, mum, nice and close. All right, and that's going to be.

This is a blue hole. Okay. It's on a very tight or very loose. Okay, here we go. Oh, no. Yeah, you might want to move a waiter. Christine's standing next to us. Christine's evacuating.

See? No one wins, I think. Oh, I pitched. I pitched. That was definitely. You can ask you if you want to. I like to sit and bask in a fight myself. Yes.

Well, Jill's is going nowhere, Dan, eh? Come out of here with me, if you want, Christine. It hasn't reached me yet. Yeah. Oh, mum's out. Now the difference is you either stay in there with Clint's fart smell or come out here and it smells like seafood chowder. Hey, it smells a little like seafood chowder in here too, Dan, of a moose.

All right, that'll do us. Thank you. Mom, dads and moms for coming in. Bring your parents to work day. It's being fun. Ash, we get to hang until the end of the year. This would have been your last day. Yes, but Meg, like the champion she is, has decided on some Orphano time, which is wonderful.

She can extend her, Matt left until the end of the year. She'll be back in the new year. Ready to go. Rested. Have a bloody great weekend, team. We appreciate you listening to us and putting up with us, and we'll catch you next week. See you. Rover, Music, radio, podcasts.