The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS well & truly in the departure lounge

Episode Date: December 14, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Come for the chat, stay for the trauma bonding. This is Clint McGinn-Dand-Dan's Only Fans. Podcast, that is. Welcome to The Only Fans with Clint-Dan and Ash London. We do a radio show, and this podcast sits alongside the recap of that show. Dan was telling me that he's going to get a helmet because he wants to start biking, but he's going to get a full-face one.

Hey, Clint. Don't laugh at people's safety. Yeah, exactly. There's nothing. You know what's not funny? brain injury sounds like you fucking might already have one without how you had to like pause

our way through so you're getting a full face helmet because you're going to start bike riding yes I've been bike riding before Clint you don't this is the thing with Clint unless it involves him he doesn't give a fuck but unfortunately Clint

I've got to live outside this job and I do other things and one of those things includes mountain biking I've done it for many years and if you knew me properly, you'd know. I never knew you did mountain biking. Yeah, exactly. I've only known you for 10 months, not even. Exactly.

Like five months. Yeah, well, let this be news to you. That's really interesting to know that you're mounting. Oh, sorry, man. Where's the last time we were mountain biking? A couple of years ago. Okay, well. You can't be into something you haven't done for two years.

Oh, I would say that a lot of, you know, Tiger Woods had a break from golf after he cheated on his misses. And then he came back and people weren't going, oh, I don't know you played golf, Tiger. Well, that's a bit different He's a world famous golfer You're not world famous with bike rider What are you trying to do?

Are you on his team now, are you? I just say, what are you so angry? Because I'm a biker. He's walking up. He's chosen violence. Mountain biking is the least scary of all the biking. Like motorbiking, scary.

Are you fucking high? Mountain biking. Mountain biking, you do flips and shit. What is that person on? Mountain biking. Do you do flips? Mountain biking is not flips. But a lot of the professional.

A lot of, like, mountain bikers do flips. Yeah, but... No, dirt bikers do flips. Mountain biking. Do you know what you're talking about? Isn't mountain biking where you go, like, on, like, rough terrain and stuff? Yeah. So why would you flip on a rough terrain?

Because you go up on a... Look, I'm not going to try and explain it to you, Ash, because you clearly do not understand it. Well, okay? I've been to Rotorua where you go on the luge and the Queensland one as well, and they will have a mountain biking part of the... the trail and they put their bikes on the gondola and they go up. I see those guys hit jump stuff. Are you doing that?

Yeah, we're all mounted bikes. Are you doing jumps though? I do jumps. I don't do tricks because I'm not that good. I'm not going to say that I'm world champion level, but it has been a hobby of mine for many years that I have neglected over the last couple of years. Well, I support the full face helmet. Thank you. I think it's good. I just think if you're going to be rocking a full face helmet on a mounted bike, I'd be, all of a sudden I'd stop what I was doing going, fuck, what's this guy up to? Because I'd think you're about to do something pretty gnarly. Well, that's exactly what they do.

You know, does the... And then when you just ride in a straight line, I'd be like, what is he up to? Does the worst real estate agent in New Zealand rock up on a shitty car? No, he rocks up in the best car. Illusion. No, I don't want my real estate agent to have a nice car. That means, he's making too much commission off me. Exactly, but they sell a good house. I want him to have like a, just

a nice middle of the line, reliable car. Really? Really? If he's rocking up in a Porsche, he's taken too much money from me. No, but they're selling your house. You want to get... Oh, they're selling, yeah. the Porsche. Yeah, you want the Porsche, don't you? So you turn up in a Porsche. But then also, they're taking a big commission from me. You know, like they're taking

too much of my money. Yeah, but they're selling that house. Must be good at what he does, though. Because they're able to make that much commission. He must be selling a lot of houses. Anyway, long story short, I've got a full face, getting a full-faced helmet. And I respect it. Because when you are going downhill on a mountain bike, I've done it once in Italy, I think, something. Why was I in Italy?

Yeah, a mountain bike in Italy. So you're a mountain biker as well? One time. I'm just having this memory. Did I dream this? Maybe you fell off. When did I go on a mountain biking? Wait, are you trying to turn a dream into something really good? I'm trying to figure out if I'm thinking of a dream or not. Oh, that's going to drive me crazy.

I don't think you could go down a really good hell without a bit of experience. Maybe you just rode a mountain bike. Oh, I'm remembering now. I was hosting a travel series for Destination New South Wales and we went on this sick mountain biking thing. Because I was like, I would normally do that. Why do I have that memory? I've got paid to do. It's the best fun you can have with your pants on, genuinely.

Like, it's so much fun. If you nail a couple of, like, good sets together, get a good jump, land really well, and, like, just nail some hooks. What do you think is a more enjoyable, pleasurable, fun thing to do with your pants on? Hit the spot is pretty good. That does feel really good. It's almost as good as hitting it, nailing a good jump on a mountain bike. I'd say, like, grinding just before the pants came off.

It's pretty fun too. You're not wrong, mate. That is fucking hot. Is it? And you know that the pants. Yeah, you do a lot of grinding in your chrizo days. Yeah, it's all grinding. That's just a dry-humping kingdom.

He was like, man, I had a good grind on the weekend. Grided this girl. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A grinded the rabbi's daughter. No, what are you? Rabbi, pastor's daughter. Pastor.

They're always the slutty ones. You know it's true. The P.K.'s are always the one to do drugs and you have sex before all the rest of the rest. You know, Reverend Lovejoy's daughter and Simpsons. That's right. She's a little minks, isn't she? Is she? Yeah.

She'd leave. barred on. She's a naughty little minks as well. What did your wife say when you wanted to get a full face helmet? She said, please don't. No, she said, get a full face helmet. But she was like, why are you getting one? So she said get one and then said, why are you getting one? No, she was not, she was supporting it, but I said, I'm going to get a full face helmet.

She's like, why do you need a full face helmet? I was like, well, because I need to protect the face because that's kind of the thing I use for my job. And she's like, you're on radio. That's the least thing you need. And I was like, well, what if my mouth falls off in a horrible mountain biking accident? then we're going to be very poor What happened to him His mouth fell off

Oh man Again another one of those interesting Yeah well I got caught on a branch Like I reckon there's someone That's got their mouth ripped off It's mouth fell off producer neeps Yeah literally mountain biking down The Queensland Luzes one time

Went over my handlebars Stick went through my lip And split it right open So full face helmet is a great purchase You've got a story for everything No you've ever you've happened To Neepia in his life Hey just things in Ivakal

You do so much shit down there eh You had a thing go through your lip Yeah, just mountain biking down the Queenstown Luge Hit a jump over the bars Where do you stop then? Are you going to get one of those chest plate things? No, because I could do this job technically as a paraplegic Couldn't I really?

I could still do the job Wouldn't be as animated? Oh I'd probably stay seated seated. I bought a helmet for wakeboarding once When I was like, I'm going to learn to backflip this year Oh gosh Yeah, and I ended up just

smashing myself, trying. I brought my ribs doing that, and no one believed me. Oh, yeah, that's, yeah, it's not hard to do it. When did you win yourself? I remember you wouldn't have won't. It's the same trip as the mountain biking, hosting that series. God, what a nightmare of a series that was. It was so fun, though.

Wasn't it supposed to be just like a lovely travel thing? And you, like, every time, every episode I take a different artist, like musician to a different part of New South Wales. Who were your artists? Guy Sebastian. Oh, he was one of them. Amy Shark. The guy from Ocean Alley.

Australian, there's this guy called, oh gosh. They get less and less good. Troy Casadalee, who's like Australian hero. Don't remember those. But it's super fun. Yeah, it sounds great. No, it was. No, no, I mean, it sounds like you...

And we went to Broken Hill in the desert and we got to stay in this hotel that's underground. Travel shows are the best because, yeah, you go to these unique spots, you're traveling, and it's all free. Exactly. I want to be one of those guys that reviews... We were talking about this the other day, Ash,

one of those guys that reviews first-class seats on planes. I don't know how you do it, but there's a couple of them I follow online. and all they do is airlines go Oh we've got another new seat for you to review Yeah but they don't travel as usually They're all just points guys So they start the things about points hacking Like taking out credit cards

Get the points and trying to things It's very rare that an airline will gift them trip You know what I mean Unless it's like for, they'll do it for like news sites or whatever Like I flew as a guest of Emirates or whatever There's this guy called Tech Trendy which I follow And he has a rule I think paid for

And he'll go like he'll go I'm going on Lufth He runs this new product. They've got a new first-class product. They've asked me on board. And he gets picked up in this BMW, which is part of the package. They drive him to the thing. Some other person takes his passport through his customs,

so he doesn't have to do it. And he, like, is in drinking, like, bubbles before he gets on the plane, then they, like, basically carry him onto the plane. Yeah, for many airlines, if you fly first class. Like, he's like Prince Alia Baboa. Yeah. Exactly.

I was once on a Qatar flight, flying via Dubai. and we were in business. I was up the front on the tarmac looking at the window and a Mercedes van drives up to the tarmac and opens and the cat-up person gets out and opens a door and this like the nannies got off first with all the kids. They were all in business class.

And then this like man in like a Middle Eastern robes gets off with his wife and this other person and they're like ushered into first class. Like literally driven to the aeroplane all the nannies and the kids all in business class. So they didn't have to do customs and put your bag through the scanner? You rock up, they'll pick it from the house, and they just take you in the back of the air. Because really all they need to do is stamp a passport, you know, they can do that.

So it's not an international flight, because otherwise they'd have to use. It was an international flight, but they don't, like they, someone from the customs would come to them. You know there's an at Auckland Airport, international airport. So we did this thing once. It was when I was working with John O and Ben, we did this thing with my food bag where we had a private jet. And we delivered food all around New Zealand in one night. So we went to like Hamilton, Toong, Christchurch in one night and then flew back. Anyway, we took off from the private, there's like in Auckland Airport.

No one knows about it. It's a private customs area that's completely separate. In another building from the big customs thing, where all the celebrities, private jets land. And so they go and then they go through. How many celebrities are coming in the... They had photos on the wall, Michael Jackson, Robin Williams. For that, what, one a month, they'd have someone worth it? Well, I guess because they fly their private jet in there.

They can't go to, like, the computer. commercial side. So they come through and it's just this little private thing that looks exactly the same except to just this one little thing in the middle of nowhere. Might be surprised as well

how many just like multi-millionaires, billionaires just fly to New Zealand for a bit of a holiday that we know nothing about. Even Oprah. She'd probably ever landed there wouldn't she?

Yeah, well they had photos of every celebrity that'd been in there like up on the wall and Robin Williams I remember it was Robin Williams was like one of the last ones that had come through

and he died like a few weeks later. Yeah, he was one of the last ones. Producer Carl's got something for OnlyFans today. I've just got a piece of audio but I have no idea what it is just says only fans clip for today It was just something that like I heard during the show today

And remember I think we did this It would have been like earlier in the year Or maybe even late last year You know where you take a clip of audio Like you guys are just having this conversation And it was kind of just like a bit random You take the bit of audio And you slow it down

And you guys sound like you're just high as fuck And so we kind of just made this piece of audio So it was from our first caller of the day when you guys were talking about fishing. Great use of your time this morning. Yeah, it seems like you've been busy. Yeah, I've not done a whole lot else, apart from this. So anyway, it's just a laugh, isn't it?

I want to hear it. What type of fishing? Just like snapper fishing. Surf casting for all sorts of species. Oh, wow. What surf casting? Excuse my ignorance. From the beach.

Yeah, so you like cast over the waves, basically. Yeah, or do you got one of those like torpedoes so you can set out a long line and send them like until it's very cage out for a lot. That actually makes me feel like a bit sick. Well, that's cool cheating. Yeah. Yeah. That's like people that can't cast very far, Clint.

Come on. Man, I mean, I reckon you do that to any bit of conversation. have had on the show and we'd sound high. Well, you can actually do it. I think you can slow and speed up audio based on what platform you listen on if it's Spotify or Apple podcast or whatever. I think that's how somebody ended up

bringing it to our attention because they said they started speeding up and slowing down our podcast and it very much is quite a different listening experience. I don't just pack it on my bag already. Yeah, Ash is leaving. You might as well go if you want to be like that. No, I've got a paging passenger, Ash, London.

Please make your way from the departure lounge. I've got lots to do, guys. Have you ever been, have you just quickly before we go? Have you guys ever been late for a flight where they've paged you? No. Once only. Same. I was once.

And it was for a work trip. Oh, but Jesus and Neep's got a story. Yeah, I got a story for this one. There we went to Bali earlier in the year and we were sitting in the pub and the international and then we heard over the speaker. Your flight is about to leave. Can all six of you boys please get on the plane immediately and we sprinted. Sprinted as fast as we could.

I haven't even come close to me seeing a flight. This happened to me in Meg once. We had been flying down to Blenham because the school ball had won an emceeing and DJ for the night. So Meg was emceeing, I was DJing. We got to the airport late, but then went to the wrong end of the terminal. And they were just paging us, and we were sprinting our asses off. And they'd already shut the gate.

So we had to go out the door and walk, like, run across the tarmac and up the station. Imagine if Meg had missed that, they wouldn't have had Meg DJing their thing. What would have they done? emceeing them. Oh, was she emceeing? We once had a flight from Dublin to Paris on New Year's Eve, me, Adrian and his parents. And I would spend too long at a restaurant for lunch

and didn't realize there was a strike on, like a public transport strike. So the trains weren't running. Now, if we miss a flight to Paris on New Year's Eve, we're not getting accommodation in, we're not getting last minute accommodation. It was so bad. So, like, I had to, like, go to the end of the taxi line.

and pay double to be like, get out of the line, let us join, because there was like 100 people lining up. Can you imagine the stress, like watching, they're like boarding? We're still on the freeway when they're boarding. It's an international flight. I've got my in-laws within their 70s. Thankfully, they're fit. We race through, race through it.

By the time we got on the plane, and it was unassigned seating, so we all just had to find a seat. I had to take my top off. I was wet with sweat. Like, it took me two hours to my heart rate to come down. It was horrible, but we made it. Fucking hell. That would have been shocked.

That would have been interesting. class so it would have been quite feet up once you're It wasn't at all It was like one of those like real cheap Into Europe airlines Yeah the only cheap one was like You're sitting on the wing

That basically Pretty much And it would have been like thousands And thousands of dollars Because I was looking up accommodation If we miss the thing To say it was going to be like $1,200 a room

Because it's fucking Surely the worst part Has got to be When everyone who's waiting And you're being super delayed And then you've got to go And walk past everyone As you walk down the aisle

Oh that's the worst I always give those people The evils Yeah I've been in the sea When people do that And you're like, you're the fucking reason. It's the worst. You feel so bad.

I'm such a boomer with airports. I get there like three hours before. So, I'm always like, I want to get there and sit down and have a croissant. And the last minute. I always want that first. Even though I don't really a beer drinker, I like having a beer, like especially international flight. Top five beers. I reckon, holiday beer at the airport is probably number one.

Doesn't matter what time it is. My favorite drink is 10 milligrams of Valium and a full skull of a red wine on takeoff. Yeah. It's weird that she does it before every radio show, though. If I did that, oh. Oh, my God, I'll be so. No. Where do you get Valium?

Is that like prescription? I have a prescription for it because I... She's got a guy. No, I have a woman, a doctor. A lady doctor. Can you believe that? Just for flying because I, you know, used to have to fly a lot and I get real nervous because of all... I thought, because I'd flown so much my time had come.

You know what I mean? Because I was flying like 70, 80 times a year. So I was like, well... Well, then, of anything, that you should know by then 80 times a year and you haven't had one incident in that whole time. You must know that travel. Yeah, that's more logical. You know?

No, because you're like, I'm due a crash. Exactly. So I'd have to get completely hard. Being lucky for 80 times. I'd like, work and fly me like business class around the world and I'd miss the whole thing because I'd be like, just drooling on myself for 12 hours. You're more, you literally have got more chance of dying now

than in a plane. I know all of this. But it's, so I'm just convinced. I could literally throw this drink while at your head right now and kill you instantly. That's completely logical. It wouldn't happen on a plane. Liz are traveling with Dan. Yeah, unless you do annoying.

Who's trying to make a point? I've got to go, guys. I've got to do a wee and then I've got to do my show. Okay. Love you deep. Okay, I've got five seconds before I throw this drink ball at you. Four, three, two, one.

Stop. You're fucking psycho. She's not wearing a full-faced helmet, you idiot. That's right, because I'm not doing it. We should try it when I get my full-face helmet. Let's throw shit at his head and see it. Yeah, I'll wear it and you can throw it to see if it's your best ever idea. Yeah, yeah, let's do that.

We'll throw shit at you and see if it makes any difference. Okay, let's do that. That'll be a bit of a laugh. Try not to hit you in the throat because I reckon that'll still hurt. Yeah. Oh, I think the good thing about this podcast. Bye, I love you too.

Ash, I couldn't hear you. You were off mic. Paging passenger, London, please make your way from the departure lounge. She's off. Well, I think the good thing about this podcast it's really illustrated

that none of us are in the departure lounge. No, no, none of us. Oh, she's caught me, it's tied. It's all dead heat between Ash and I had departure lounge tally. Clint's got nothing. Fucking wanker. Because he pushes the buttons and he chooses when or not.

It's a bad gag. I need a button over here for when you do a bad one. Yeah, yeah. Can we get a button installed for Dan? No, I'm also in the departure, actually, fuck your button. Yeah, I don't have one for Carl. So I can't play his one. Yeah, we could get you, do you want something for next year?

You want like a Coke button. You push it and you get a diet, Coke delivered. Oh, that'll be cool. Yeah. Yeah. And you could just change your button to whatever you want it to do from week to week. That is quite cool. It's a very Donald Trumpish.

We can do that. Yeah, you should. You can be any long enough to do it. Dan, you should be able to start demanding shit like that. I can make one of ask Adrian the boss if I can have my own Coke button. Clint, you've already got a Coke button, don't you? No, not on this desk, right? Little button nose?

That's good. Not really. Yeah, and I just probably have your little button up on a fader here, and if I just have it up, then every time you push your little button, it works. Okay. So I get sick of you, and then I can just turn your fader off. Okay. Yeah.

Oh, well, let's end it there, eh? sure why do you do this why it's done I stopped it already no you haven't yes I've seen your hands you do this last week

you're like oh yeah you just sit there quiet like I'm what am I supposed to do I'm done no one wants to keep listening to this exactly no one's probably listening anyway

no one is definitely isn't because I've stopped it put it down I ran over a bird I used to have a horror way to stop what kind of bird just a little sparrow

because it was eating in the middle of it Why am I entertaining this? Yeah, and then what happened? And then I got out of the car and it was like in the middle of the road dead. Because I quite often I pride myself on avoiding birds at all costs

and it was just a darling little sparrow that was... Boy or girl? Couldn't tell, but the boy... Oh, you squashed it that hard? No. Well, you can tell that they got a dark black brown head.

Yeah, but I couldn't tell that. No, it wasn't crash or anything It was just dead It could have Yeah What did you do with the bird? Just lift it up and put it on the side wall What can you do?

What did you even try to do any compressions? No Oh It was gone You pride yourself on what And just trying to keep animals alive As many... Oh well you fucked up pretty bad then

Because you did the opposite I'll leave you with this story before we go I once did a St John medical course Heter Hone, St. John. It was before my son George was born and it was like a baby course thing to keep your kid alive. So far I'm doing well.

And the lady that was taking it was fucking incredible. She was a lovely lady. I can't remember she was she was moldy and she was actually about to leave to go up to her marai. She was running late and so she was doing the course really quickly.

And she was so animated and she was like raving her hands around and doing like telling us about something. And she was, whacked a fly, middle of the air, whacked it, and it went to the ground. And she goes, don't worry, I know CPR. Bullshit.

And I fucking swear, why would I make this shit up? I don't know, because we needed it now? I don't even think she knew how her powers, and she picked it up off the ground, and she went like this, and she went, and look at this, and blew it, and it flew off. I fucking shit you not, and everybody stood up. Whoa, you're incredible. Wow, wow, wow, wow.

It was either that or she fucking blew it really hard that it looked like it flew She was just like Whoa, fuck it flip No, but genuinely I think it buzzed off Oh well it doesn't matter No one heard it because I stopped recording ages ago

Mm-hmm Rover Music, radio podcasts