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This is a podcast from Rover.
Dumb chat, bad decisions, zero shame.
If that sounds like your vibe, you're in the right place.
This is Clint Megyn Dan's OnlyFans.
Podcast, that is.
Let's go.
Welcome to the Only Fans.
She's getting impatient, Clint's spoken.
She wants to get out of here.
I'm desperate to see you boys race.
If I'm being honest, I'm really excited for it.
But I do have a text from my mum first that I must read you.
And I need you to take it seriously.
About the race?
Yes, I need you.
Look at me, Dan.
Just to just let it reset it.
Thank you.
Yeah, if you haven't been keeping up, Dan and I are going to be competing in a go-kart race.
Three laps, we get two warm-up laps, and then the third one is a timed lap because Dan says he's, well, his mum said, he'd beat the ass off me.
Yeah, her words.
Dan's specialty skill.
Yeah, we're trying to see if we can be clint at something.
My mum messaged me this morning, 9.45.
I know this is probably a wasted text, but can you please tell the boys not to go too gung-ho.
to win at all costs.
They can still do a lot of damage with whiplash.
It will probably fall on deaf ears,
but I had to say something.
Hey, thanks,
thanks, Philippa.
We're not pussies though, mate.
I'm literally doing the exact opposite.
Oh, for God's sake!
I'm literally going to do everything I can,
and I'm going to put my...
I don't know.
I don't even know how badly you can hear yourself in a racetrack,
but I guess I will find out.
There we go, there you go, Mum.
So, mum, I've told them, and they just still want to be idiots.
So if they break the next...
I'm not going to be an idiot because you don't want to overdrive.
You want it, as Liam Lawson would say, Lewis Hamilton would say,
keep it smooth, keep your heart rate low, relax.
Well, no one got a fast lap crashing into anything, you know?
So, I mean, I don't plan on doing that.
I was good you know that, then, clip.
But what I don't plan on doing is coming off the track going,
oh, I could have pushed it harder.
But I had Meg's mum's voice in my hair saying, go easy, go easy.
I do love that
I believe both of your mums are coming to
Slag off the other one and cheer you on
Whereas my mum's just worried that you're both going to break your necks
But your mums haven't told you about a warning
Your mom hasn't said you don't be too
Don't go too hard, Clint
No my family is pretty much
Just told me not to embarrass the Randall name
Die if you have to
At least that way you can't lose
Yeah yeah yeah
You might as well kill yourself
If you're losing
Drive off the track
I reckon if Clint loses
his parents are going to walk away today
and disown him as a son.
Yeah, me too.
They'll get there, probably have a Tesla as well.
Do you know what I think might happen?
Do you think, Dan, Dan, if Clint does, when,
when Clint loses,
Christian's going to call you a cheek.
She's going to find a way.
Of course she will.
It's your final way.
Just like she did with, what's the name,
Rosie DeVy, when she beat Clint at the...
And it was Manu.
It was Manu on the Duns with Star.
She punched Manu Wattelho.
No, she did.
She would whack them.
But anyone that would listen, she'd be like,
that's rigged.
I think the show's rigged.
Of course she did.
The amount of text, I think Mum sent in,
and the amount of friends that she had voted,
she was like, I just don't see it.
And I was like, well, Mum,
Mano is one of the most decorated, like, rugby league players
New Zealand has ever seen.
And, you know, he's Tongan.
He's probably got just as many,
if not more family members than we do.
But it was also down to points,
not just text votes.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
The reason why Mum didn't like it is
because it was always ambiguous
about how they did the...
The judges split to the chest.
And mum's like, nah, I think it's bullshit.
It's a bit shady, I'll give it that.
I'll give it that.
They never really explain what the ratio is today.
It's like radio awards, right?
Yeah, there's something fishy there.
Yeah, because then they go,
we can combine with the votes from the people,
and you're like, well, you about how many were there
and what's the split from...
But the end of the day, I said,
and mum, calm down.
Like, the only thing I lost was that ugly glitterable trophy
that they whipped up in probably 20, 30 minutes.
We know his house quite well.
Where do you think you would have put it?
the glittable trophy
oh fuck it would be front
like centre and it's still to this day
I reckon he would have put like a glass bottom in his pool
like where it's like this thing
and it's like a plinth like under the water of his pool
where you swim down and you can look at the fucking glitterball trophy
above the bed so we can see Justin Bieber and his trophy
well yeah somewhere like that
like you wouldn't be able to miss it when you walk into Clint's house
you know it'd be like oh have you seen the
did you think Clint when you thought you were going to win
did you think where am I going to put that
He would have no one could
You know
Truly the only thing
That I was thinking of
Or what would have disappointed me
Is I have FOMO from missing out
And I knew I had to make top four
To make every episode
Because the top four make the final
And I ended up finishing third
Because I kicked out fourth
Willie went forth
I went third
So it meant that we did learn
This entire dance all week
That no one ever saw
So that was a real kick in the guts
But I never had to sit
and watch an episode of the show on my couch while it was still on.
And that was my goal.
I'd be so gutted just watching a show.
I'd be like, fuck.
And that happened on Idol.
I was watching a lot of that.
But you were the real winner on the day because then you got to host it the next year.
Yeah, and then I got to go back.
So that was really fun.
Then it got cancelled.
But I mean, it was a time there where it was you were sort of the winner in a way.
It was actually really cool to be able to go.
And, honest to God, it was so much more fun hosting than being on it.
Really?
Yeah, only did like a day and a half.
Well, no, two and a half days when you're dancing on it.
It's like so intense.
You're there all the time.
They value your time more when you're the presenter.
And you got to work with Sharon.
Yeah.
Yeah, it would be fun.
Yeah, it's one of those things like when you show up on set and everyone's ready to go.
But when you're a dancer, you fucking just wait.
You guys were great together actually, you and Sharon.
I think better than, I mean, she would probably say that die was her favorite.
Yeah, I think she has said that.
Yeah, she should.
Yeah, yeah.
But you were.
You guys were great.
My mum said, oh, they've got great chemistry, those two.
Which, strangely, we never actually worked together before,
despite both being on the edge, but never working together.
But I loved the live element of it.
I mean, not, you know, some things are recorded as live.
That show was live.
If you stuffed up, fell over, or you stuffed your lines or whatever.
It was all live.
There was no going back and doing.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, so that was exciting.
I enjoyed that.
I didn't enjoy the part where they cancelled it.
Yeah.
The end of that season.
And you never really heard, did you?
I know Sharon was sort of like, they didn't go,
oh, we're not doing it again next year.
They just sort of just fizzled it out.
Yeah, I think.
You didn't get the call.
There are a lot of people, I think, that...
Well, what would be worse is if they brought it back
and then you didn't get asked again?
Jason Gunn's back or something.
Yeah, then there'd be a kick in the teeth,
but they just...
I don't know.
They kept saying it was too expensive.
Who would they get this if they brought it back now?
Who do you think they'd get?
Do you think Clint would be invited back to host?
I think that's still used Sharon.
Yeah.
Fuck you guys.
I think they'd still use Sharon.
Well, there are only two of us, Meg.
I think they would.
Of course they would.
Of course they would.
Of course they would.
They normally...
They're not...
that we have TV anymore, but we had
like, you get phases of a certain
woman or a certain man
forever. So we had Shannon
Ryan for a long time, and she
was the host of everything.
Where's she now? I don't know.
I heard she lives under a bridge. What?
No, I'm just talking.
And then obviously
you have Dominic Bowden. He hosted everything.
Jason Gunn at a point hosted everything.
Simon Barnett.
Simon Barnett. He was like dancing with it.
Did he do stars in their eyes?
Sharon was the female
I think that has hosted, you know, a few things for a wee while.
But now there's no TV.
Now there's no TV.
So I wonder.
Who their favourite would be, yeah.
Yeah, Kimberly Crosman, maybe.
And when it comes to a male...
She's being good...
I think I'd be Meg Mansel.
I would wish it would be, but I don't think I'm TV.
I don't think they're like me for TV.
Everyone has their shelf life.
And it's always shorter than the person thinks it's going to be.
And then you're right.
They try someone new, and then they become the new shiny thing.
Mike Peru was a little...
Oh, you took his job.
Remember Flipside? Remember Mike Purdue on Flipside?
Yeah, because then he did like the Bachelor as well.
After Dominic Bowden took off,
that Mike ended up taking over from him.
So you get the same. I think, I'm trying to think,
do you know who I genuinely think would be
if Sharon's time was over, which I'm not saying,
we wouldn't even know it because it's TV.
I think they would get female comedians, somebody like Bree.
I don't think they'd ever look for, I don't think I'd get it.
Someone good with a teleprompter. I could never do it.
Do you mean, Thomasel?
Yeah, I think Bree Tomlisleau would become the next.
Treasure Island for like five seasons
or something. And I know the male has
rotated. They matches him and then they end up
letting him go and he came up very publicly saying
it wasn't his decision and he wanted to stay
and then they ended up getting
they got Lance Savali who did a great job.
But they also had
Jade and. Tegan from Myafm
would be a great presenter too.
She'd be fab so I think they've got a lot of choice
but yeah no show. She's fucking shit on radio though
so I would listen. Yeah she's fucking craped.
You don't know. Don't go to my
It's honestly, you'll tune in and want to leave straight away.
So definitely don't go, definitely don't just test them out.
I heard they're horrible people as well, the three of them.
Yeah, yeah, fame.
Some of the stuff he's done.
Anyway, I heard he goes to kids' charity events and then just laughs at them.
Steels money out of the pot, I've heard.
He's taking money out of there.
Allegedly.
Yeah, yeah.
I think they do as a team spare time, like just bonding.
Makes him feel better.
Yeah, I heard Nixon kicked a duck.
Allegedly.
Yeah, allegedly.
But again, don't even try and test them out
because if you do
you will definitely not love them
and they are definitely not better than us
in every way.
When your parents come to,
because I know we're going to see our mum and dad
in a few minutes when you get to the racetrack,
it doesn't make you feel grown, eh?
You know, if you're like late 30s,
like I'm 40, 40-year-old man
and then my dad comes to watch me
and he's like, come on, Clint.
Like when he comes to watch my sports games
and now I feel like a little kid again.
But you wanting to impress them again,
no matter what age you are,
you want to make them proud.
I love that.
It does give me hope for, you know, my kids.
My mum's coming up soon for a week,
so we should do another, like,
get the mum's drunk or something.
We should actually.
I reckon my mum will still be proud
even if I, for whatever reason, lost, it won't happen.
But she would be proud,
she'd be like, oh, I'm just proud that you took part in it,
you know?
Oh, participation awards in your household.
Because I got a lot of that as a kid, you know,
like soccer or anything.
I was usually left right out.
And that I'd be so.
sitting on the sidelines.
She said, but at least you've got an orange, you know,
like I used to get to sit in the...
Yeah, but then you would have run in your diary, orange shit.
You know, you know.
If you know, you know, sorry, that wasn't even that juicy, so...
Yeah, it is cool if you're on the field or you're whatever,
playing, whatever sport it might be, and then you turn,
and you're like, dad is surprised you.
It's still there.
And you didn't know.
He even does that to some of my games.
He did, like, last year.
And I'd just turn and all of a sudden,
because dad is say, oh, where are you playing this week?
And I'd tell him.
But he wouldn't say, oh, oh, okay, I'll be there.
And he's obviously written it down or got it in his mind if I can make it, I'll make it.
And then next minute, halfway through the first half, I'll look over it because I can hear someone go, go, Clint!
And then I'll look over and it's dad.
Oh, bless.
Yeah, that's actually going to make me emotional.
Yeah, that's really lovely.
Oh, that is just, that is honestly the reason of life, right?
The goal of life was all those little moments.
I love that still as parents that even when you've got a, what are you 50 something?
When you're like that old, they're still.
My dear old mum would just do it
She'd be mum and dad
She'd be there
Yeah
Yeah
What about knowing that Liam
Lawson knows who you are Dan
You'll see popping up on social
A video that our producer Carl managed to get from Liam Lawson
Shouting us both out and wishing us luck for the race today
And saying that I've seen your stuff
Which means he's seen Dan cry over him
Which I just reminded Dan of
I know
That is quite embarrassing
But also I stand by that
I feel like he got so
dragged for the war
weeds was assholes online.
I'm not through the mud. Is that worse
or not as bad as being dragged through the mud?
Fuck out, Clint. The weeds...
I do not practice some go-cutting because you suck.
If I was going to get dragged through anything, I'd go through weeds
before I went through mud. I think so, too. I think I'd go
weeds before mud. Depending on what weed, though.
But what if it's like those prickly weeds?
Cutting grass? Nah, I'd go through mud.
Yeah. Okay, so maybe that's... Stingy nettle.
Oh, that stuff's painful.
Yeah, true.
Yeah. Okay, so
what do you think the chances are?
10 you definitely lose
Zero is not a chance
What do you think chances are of losing
Wait wait 10 you definitely lose zero
Not a chance
Is a 10 out of 10 losing or 08 to 10 losing
It's zero
Zero out of 10
It's zero
Like I would have said maybe like 30
I would have gone three or four yesterday
Before we raced
But then seeing you race it
There's no chance
Unless I like absolutely
Stuff the lap
Like if I stuffed the lap
And then like
I could still win even then
But I mean...
And that is why
it can't be zero.
You can't...
I went into...
But the thing is,
I did like 50 laps yesterday,
not once did I go,
oh, fuck that up.
So the chance is the...
But the problem is like,
I understand if we...
This is why it's exciting for me, Megan,
why I think I have a chance.
If we ended up going,
right, we both get 10 laps
and whatever is our fastest lap
out of those 10 is our time,
I think I'd be in much, much more trouble.
The fact that we are both taking lap three
as our fastest lap, regardless of whether it is the fastest or not,
I think it's one of those things where you could, Dan knows,
this is my time lap, I can't fuck this up,
no one expects me to lose, I'm the guy,
you're not the underdog in this,
you end up getting a little too close to the wall,
then nick it, and then you're like, fuck,
and then you get in your head.
Your special secret weapon was bringing your mum and dad.
I don't think he's going to get nervous.
I'm going to do my dad talk shit to him just before he goes.
I can't wait to see all the telemet.
My dad's going to piss in his helmet.
I'd be like, John, please.
Hey, John can shit my helmet, I'd still win.
Dan's going to be driving around,
and all of a sudden it's going to start dripping from the top into his eyes,
and he's going to be like, what the fuck is that?
John can be sitting on my face
and I won't be able to see anything, and I'd still beat you.
I don't think my dad's going to sit on your face.
Joe's got a thing.
Yeah, I'm going to go.
I might just text, Dan.
Hey, mate, race has been called off.
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