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This is a podcast from Rover. I do not do- you're getting me and I mixed up. Welcome to the OnlyFans. I do the Swedish.
I do him, remember that guy,
I've done him on the podcast before.
And I do the...
Oh, I've gone a bit Italian.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know if it's Italian.
That's Italian, like this.
I talk like this in Italian.
Okay.
And I also do the Swedish man.
Meg doesn't do Chinese, do you?
No. No, I think, do you? No.
No, I think it's Vietnamese.
No.
Alright.
That's one of the most Asian professions.
She gets really upset when you...
Right, let's focus, refocus on what the important thing is, and guess the fact.
I think it's actually...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I think it's mean.
If I was Asian and I was listening...
Oh my god, Meg, he's going on about what it was rants.
No, hold on, hold on.
A white man.
If I'm listening to this podcast and I'm going, hold on, you guys have done a Swedish accent,
you've done an Italian one, but you won't do my accent, why?
I actually think not doing it is actually more offensive.
Okay, we'll do it then.
If you think.
He will though, he will.
Well, you do it.
I can go.
Well, that's the problem.
I will do it and then they'll get it out before it goes up.
I know.
You're the boss.
It's a waste of everyone's time.
You're always saying you're the boss.
But you know what I mean?
It feels like if I was Asian, I'd be like, well, hold on, now it's double standard. I know. You're the boss. It's a waste of everyone's time. You're always saying you're the boss. But you know what I mean?
It feels like if I was Asian, I'd be like, well, hold on, now it's double standard.
Why can you laugh at Italians?
But now you won't laugh at me.
Because there's so much history.
I know.
I know, but it just...
And there's no history with the Swedish.
It's just not London.
Okay.
So even though there's one...
Well, people are not happy because we uploaded our Friday podcast with Sam,
which was the 45 minute podcast, and there was no Gues the Fart at the end.
I love Sam.
The only reason that people listen to the 45 minutes is they thought we were going to talk about the fart at the end.
Hey, Sam, thank you so much for coming and giving us your wisdom out best thing.
Anyway, we do it every Friday, so I hope you've got a fart ready to go.
Let's do a fart.
Because it's time to play.
I wanna play Gaston Quaife.
Well, I can't queef.
I wasn't meaning you, mate.
Could be anyone.
We can't make Bella the web girl queef.
I don't want her to queef either.
Why is he so sweet?
I've missed something.
I've lost it.
Yeah, it doesn't even sound sweet.
You sound like you've just been smacked in the head with a bag of rocks.
And a cross between that and Christoph from Frozen.
I think that's where it's based on.
Yeah, when he's doing the voice of this reindeer.
Yeah, anyway.
It's very niche.
Anyway, come on.
Okay, so what are we doing? Dan said he had something. Is your something, guess the fact?
No, I'll save mine for tomorrow.
We can't just do a rant about accents for two and a half minutes and then I fart and
we leave.
That's their fucking podcast.
Dan, how long's your thing?
It's quite long.
Oh fuck, no we can't.
It can't be long.
No, we're talking about the bit for the podcast.
How long is it?
It's quite short.
No, they're quite long.
No, we can't.
We can't. We can't. We can't, no, this will be too long. No, we're talking about the bit for the podcast. How long is it?
And we know that's not long. It's quite short.
No, they're quite long.
No, we can't do them.
How long is long? 10 minutes?
It's a thing that requires one of you to do something quite intensive.
And I just don't think we've got time to do it.
Do we have to leave the studio?
Yes.
I'm already doing something intensive with Guess the Fuff.
We're not going to force that. Well, I can't do anything intensive because I might give birth. Sorry. No, Dan does this,
where he comes up with ideas for things that he would like us to get him to do. To pay him to do, yes.
Because we haven't come up with it. He brings that. He brings it to us and then we end up making him do it.
Can I make you do the thing that you want us to do? I don't want to do it. Oh bullshit. Bullshit you
don't. It's because you guys would never, I think you would do the thing that I...
No.
What is the thing?
You'd rather you do it because you'll commit to it and you know that we'll do it shit.
What is it?
It's literally going outside into the office so you'd have to use the tie line.
Here it is, yep.
I don't even, I already hate it.
Oh this baby, ow.
And you've got headphones on.
Yeah.
That part's fine.
So the other two people are the voice
and telling you what to say and what to do.
In your ear.
Yeah.
I feel like, I love the idea.
It's like we're puppeteering the person.
But you guys with me would just be like,
bend over, do a queef and go,
that felt good and walk away.
That's what you're fucking up to.
We're not gonna do it then.
I know, but say glitz into it.
You guys would laugh. Dan, you would laugh so hard.
I just think it's a fun idea to do every week on the podcast.
Why don't we pull a name out of a hat,
and the person has to go out into the office
and we're telling them what to do and say.
It's not me this week.
Dan, you just pulled a name out of a hat.
No, it's not a...
Guys, do something. Look it is Dan.
It is Dan. Oh fuck you Dan.
I'm about to drop my guts, thank you very much.
If I'm gonna have to do it then no one's gonna laugh because they'll go, oh Dan loves it.
Okay, whereas the funniness... No we love it because you do it so well.
The funniness comes from you guys not wanting to do it.
Last time I did it and I did something you said you didn't do it very well and you didn't find it very funny.
Because I couldn't commit, because I was too embarrassed.
Oh fuck it, I'll do it then.
There we go, thank you. See ya.
We can edit this.
You mean I can?
He could go into wellness way, because we've got a little room wellness way for wanking or crying.
No one's wanking in this.
How many times have you cried in there Dan?
The time I was accused of wanking in there.
Yeah, well.
I was gonna say Dan's been in there at least once
and if he hasn't cried and you're only doing two winks.
Someone's like, have you been wanking in wellness way?
I went no.
You could go into wellness way
because it's not soundproofed
and then like really cry and scream and have a really angry conversation
and people right near the door
You have them scream and then open up and go here you go, how's it going?
Oh they will, it's not a soundproofed door
Yeah yeah, it's soundproofed, I know
Nah, bullshit
Fucking hell
Okay, give them
Again
Okay yeah, try. Check 1212.
Oh, you sound like a chipmunk.
Like you're talking really fast.
Why are you so spit up?
We need the technology they use when they're recorded from the moon.
That doesn't exist because it never happens, Clint.
Every time technology doesn't work, Meg's like,
and they say we broadcast live from the moon. And fair enough. I work, Meek's like, and they say we broadcast from life from the moon.
And fair enough, I bring that up.
And like, Karl has a phone.
One two, one two.
That's, yep, good.
Yep, good.
Yeah?
That's four meters away from me.
All right, Danny, I, okay,
so you're gonna go into wellness way.
Okay, I'm going into, really?
Is that what you're getting me to do?
I'm trying to start.
I'll take a shirt, I'll do it.
Well, why don't you kill one of your own deers? Wait, Dan, leave us the list of deers. I'll? I'll find a shirt, I'll do it. Why don't you come up with your own dears?
Wait Dan, leave us the list of dears.
I'll go to fucking Wellness Way.
I'll go to Wellness Way and scream.
Yeah, cause it's easy, that's why.
Yeah, well okay!
Okay Meg, your first instruction from me, can you hear me?
Yeah.
Okay, I want you to walk to Wellness Way and try not to waddle.
Waddle, fuck, now it's not called the impossible task Clint.
Hahaha
Hahaha
Meg, my first task to you
is you go into wellness way but it looks like
you're about to go for a poo.
Man I've been holding in this pipe for so long.
So if we get to get to pipe
I don't have one.
Oh, I'm gonna be livid.
Yeah.
So what are you gonna ask her
when she goes into wellness way?
She's gonna scream.
She's gonna scream in there.
In the middle of an empty room.
Yeah, but when she comes out,
cause people hear it through the door,
being like, what has she been doing?
It'll be interesting to see who comforts her
and who doesn't.
Amen. Amen.
Guys, there's no one around there.
Yes there is, I just walked past three people.
Okay, I'm gonna bring your fader down, cause otherwise I'm just gonna hear you screaming in our headphones.
But then we're just gonna see if there's a little bit of a reaction, so we'll let you know.
Oh, people are looking up, like they can hear you.
So what do you want me to do? Do you want me to do like contraction screams or?
No, I reckon just like, I'm sick of this shit I hate this place
I'm over it
Just yelling like you're you know
Meg's regretting it now
Yeah I am regretting it now
I'm sick of the management the way this place is run
Say that sort of shit
No!
No!
Heads should roll
Say that
Shit
Really?
Yes
Okay
Here she goes
Really? Yes!
Okay.
Here she goes.
Start with a big scream, like a big primal.
AHHHH!
No! I'm just so sick of it!
I'm sick of the management here!
I'm sick of this fucking place!
Everything always turns to fucking shit!
And I'm so done with it!
Louder!
Do a scream, do a loud scream.
Is anyone reacting?
No one can hear you.
Big scream.
Big scream?
The big boss who normally is on the opposite side of that wall isn't there, which is a real shame.
No one's even flinching.
Quick, keep going.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Nothing.
I knew this would happen. What is it soundproof? It can't be it's just the door knock on the door. I'm kidding. I'm just kidding
Yeah, I'm fine, thank you
She cares about you who is that? At least she cares about you. Who was that?
Oh yeah now
Oh god
Oh god oh god
Now come out and look a little bit sad
But like you're trying to put on a
But try not to water
But don't water
Oh shit
Oh god oh god oh god oh god
Who was it? Who knocked on the door
Izzy Izzy from program from
Okay, so what do you want me to do a walk and do what go up into here and scream and go this place
Is run by dogs?
No, go scream again scream again
Scream I Scream really loud scream, scream, scream. Go ahead. Scream. I can't.
Scream really loud.
I'm sick of this place.
Quick.
I'm sick of it.
I hate the management.
Say that.
I'm just sick of the management.
Oh my God.
I want to go.
I want to leave.
Say that.
I want to leave.
She's looking at us.
She's looking at us.
Her husband is in management
She's walking back past now
Scream, scream, scream
AHHHH
You idiot
Keep going, keep screaming
Keep screaming
Honestly
Ash, Izzy and a couple of other
People from partnerships are crowding around the door
They're looking for a concern.
Scream, scream, scream! Keep screaming!
Okay now come out and then just field your questions like you're totally fine.
Like what are they talking about? You've got nothing wrong.
Like Oscar winner, I'm perfectly fine Megan Mantle.
Okay. Yep, right now?
Yep.
Okay.
That was lovely. Okay. Huh.
That'd be lovely.
So yeah, you do that sometimes.
Is there something I can do?
Yeah.
Funny.
It's calming, you should try it. Blow them a kiss.
Oh, it's all mixed up.
That is, wow.
Oh, cringe.
You went harder than I thought you would.
Can you clip that for me for producers, Dari?
That's what she said.
Did they actually think you were serious in there?
Yeah, bless Izzy, she gave me a little look
and under her voice she said,
are you all right, was that for content or no?
And I was like, no, no, all good.
So hopefully.
Oh good.
Because there was a lot of people concerned for you, me.
That's good, so at least what you just did
is therefore out of character.
Whereas if they were like, ugh, that's just me again.
Yeah, if no one came to you, that would be worse.
Having a whinge as usual.
Yeah.
True.
Alright, Clint, your turn.
Ready to get your fun?
I was just gonna say, literally at one stage,
there was like three or four people crowded around the door
listening in like, which for instance, is she okay?
Some of them just wanted the gossip.
You go on the T, I'll go put my hand near the door
and I'll report back at lunch.
She's saying she hates the management.
Okay.
Might not work on a Tuesday.
We've tried this before but we'll give it a nudge.
Alright.
Go on Dan, I started last time.
Oh there's three people that want to guess today.
Who?
I want to have a ghost nail if possible.
Okay, Sven you go first.
Okay I think it's going to be like this.
Okay.
I hope it is.
Thanks Sven.
Okay, um, Hasee's just having to keep sucking it back up.
I wish I had like a sort of grid of, you know,
so I'd remember what those ones sounded like.
Pfft.
Short.
Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah, just short.
And I'm gonna go in the middle there.
I'm gonna go a bit of a.
Pfft.
Okay, so longer as you, airy as Sven.
Yeah, and a little squeaker as you. Short squeaker as me.
Okay, here he goes.
That's what they want.
Me, thank you.
See you later.
See you later.
See you later.
See you later.
I'd rather leave you with hairy eyes
Guess apart what's that smell
A stinky mystery
Guess the phone
I'll stay around What a weird finish or something. Come here, you. Yeah, I can do one right up close to you. Oh, yes. You did?
You did?
Because Dan normally hates it.
Oh, yeah.
Die.
Die.
Go on, Sven.
Get in here.
Go on, Sven.
I don't really want to.
All of a sudden.
I can do one right close on you.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
See you guys.
Bye.
Come here.
Rover.
Music.
Radio. Rova.
Music.
Radio.
Podcasts.