The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS who's this guy?

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. This is the OnlyFans podcast with Clint Begg and Dan. It's not meant to be as explicit as the actual OnlyFans, but most of the time it is. Welcome to The Only Fans with Clint Begg and Dan. We are radio announcers to a radio show. This is not that. This is a podcast where we get away with doing whatever we like. Hence why Dan decide to start in a very mature way.

Have you noticed I've still got my tics, eh? Well, yeah, I don't think they just go away. Julie's still listening? Your mum? Hey Julie. I think she sort of has gone a bit like, I don't really. Oh, well, Meg's been away. She's not been into it.

I don't think so. Yeah. Thought she listened for her son. Sometimes I wonder if she does. I think she listens for Meg mainly. I have a challenge for you boys. I know Clint, you will just be gagging at the bit to win this. I think that's a saying, but yep.

It's chomping at the bit or gagging for it. Yeah. Chompin at the bit, yeah. I tried this. I can't do it. I'll give an example. People are doing it online. Can you count to 101 breath?

Oh, yeah, I saw some chick do that. Okay. Absolutely not. Well, she did. People can do it. Okay. Here we go. Oh, this is going to be a long podcast.

I know. That's right. Yeah. If you can do it. I can't. You know what? I might be able to. Well, then if you can't, let's not.

What can I try? My fucking bit. Jesus, okay. Sorry, ma. Fleming. Oh, you need to give up smoking, first of all, then you might be able to do it. Right. One, two, three, five, six, seven, nine, nine, five, six, seven, nine, five, two, seven, nine, five, two, seven, seven, twenty, seven, twenty, eight, three.

Just, one, 30, three, three, three, three, four, three, six, seven, three, eight, three, four, four, three, four, three, four, four, three. Yeah. Oh, she's brishing out. Forty-th, no, you got to at least, probably, probably, three. No, you got to at least, probably, probably, three. 39 are the best. Right, okay. Well, you go then.

No, I can't do it. There's no way I can do it. Just try. You've got the best lungs. Does he? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,000, 19, 19, 19, 17,000, 9,000,000, 10,000,000, We've got to hear the words, mate. Is that 130, 30, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 40, 45, that's,

You're skipping, 49, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 70, 70, 70, 70, 70, 20, 20, 20 20, 20 20, oh, here we go, Kling will get to 200 and we'll fucking jack him off and we'll finish the podcast. He'll keep going. I think I'm going to deliberately throw this one, guys. He'll just go on forever, we'll have to leave. Here we go. I reckon my prediction is he'll get really

close for the first time and then we won't be able to leave until he's talking. Yeah and he'll go do it again fucking. I know what I did wrong. I know what I did wrong. That's exactly what I do. I reckon he doesn't get tidy. It's like I could never go first in a fair factor. I'm going to watch what everyone else does. I'm not going to go first to just

copy me. I reckon he's going to get to 60. Here we go. No, no I reckon the 90s. No, I can't get to the 90s and not make it. I'll die. I will pass out. If I get to the 90s, I'll pass. pass out before I lose. If you pass out, I think I'll shit, spit and come at the same time. I'll laugh my head off.

A trifecta? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. 1.3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 40, 15, 16, 17, 18, 90, 20, 22, 2, 23, 3, 27, 28, 29, 2, 23, 3, 3, 35, 35, 32, 2, 3, 3, 35, 3, 35, 6,000, 28, 30, 3, 3, 35, 3, 35, 6, 28, 30, 3, 3, 35, 6, 0,000, 6,000, 8, 30, 3, 34, 75, 7, 8,000,000, 7,000,000, 7,000,000, 5, 6,000,000, 7,000,000, 7,000,000,000, 9,000,000,000, no. Now you done, he can't do it. Yeah, he got to about the same as me.

Do you know what he's going to be doing for the rest of the day? I know you've ruined my Thursday. That's hard. I want to hear someone actually do it. I'm sure they can online. I've actually ruined your day. I think the key, because you realize when you have no breath, you can get through 20 numbers.

I think you burned too much breath at the start. No, you suck at it. You just admit you'll shit at something. No, I'm very good at counting to 80 in one breath. You suck at it. You're really bad. In fact, you were not as good as me. No, you couldn't even understand what you were saying.

Sometimes Clint we shit at things and that was it for you. Not me. You're shit at. Not me. Embarrassing, really. The fact that he's so like, oh, I was really good at. Name one thing I'm shit at. That?

Other than that. Knowing when a conversation's ended. That's fair. That's bad. I do like to continue chants on a little longer than they should go. You know what I went with a friend. of mine to the football the other day and Clint was there

to the Auckland FC game and it was a friend of mine you know Baddy Michael Baddy and he knows Clint a little bit as well on the ride drive home he was like fuck Clint's a good guy and I was like yeah

he's such a nice guy and he makes you feel like you're the most important person in the room and I was like oh yeah he goes but fuck he can talk and he was like I made him feel nice

probably with my conversation but somehow it's also negative he was like he's one of those people I should have told you this earlier he was like he's one of those people that doesn't see so social goos on when a conversation's again but ironically

he thought it was a good guy because I spent time talking to him because no one was talking to your friend no and he did like you but so I start well I just don't finish well I think he there was a moment where he was like the conversation's finished you know I think that he was looking to maybe monkey bar over to someone else to talk

you know like you do but Clint was sort of fucking like just kept talking you know This is why I hate social environments because there's always something you've meant to like oh, when is the natural conclusion of a combo and then where do I go after that? I'm not good at it. I'm not good at it.

The problem is with me is when you go, da-da-ha-ha. It's like it's fucking on me to like fill the awkward silence and go again. Your job is to fill the awkward, like say Meg and I have finished done our fucking mint gags and they think that Meg's on a fucking zinger at the end of the thing. How often does that make?

they haven't. Oh, she's doing it. No, but I should just be like, anyway, bro, you have a great like whatever, and I just wander off to the next combo. But it's like, you're right, oh, I'm getting annoyed at myself and whoever else thinks it's my fucking responsibility. Hey, by the way, did you know,

Auckland haven't lost to Wellington in like the last four games, so if they win this one, that'll be five. Jesus, is that your shit chat? Well, I don't know. I'll fill it with something that I'm like, even I'm getting bored by what I'm saying, but I'm trying the most. Okay, let's have a conversation now. It's the three of us, okay, and Megan and I will find natural point where we're kind of

where we finish and then you continue on as naturally as you can to a different topic, okay? Okay, let's have a talk about something, let's talk about the Christmas party that's coming up on Friday. So are you guys planning on driving in in the morning are you going to get Uber's?

I haven't even thought about it to be honest but I probably have to now because now you've mentioned it. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm going to, I think I might just drive because I don't know how many drinks I'll have. And then if I do drink too many drinks, I can just Uber and leave the car at work.

Yeah, I'll probably, might just drive in and leave my car here yeah yeah and then um as the senior announcers do you think that we have to be responsible and not get wasted in front of the gen zes sorry who's this i don't know where did he come from no i'm just i was just sorry sorry we're just having a private conversation actually also i didn't realize that we fucking don't know each other in this hypothetical so stupid then you know what i go hey uh are you those guys that work with that celebrity on the edge of breakfast show. Yeah, no, but we're actually not allowed to get too drunk, are we?

Well, I haven't had a drink of alcohol in over a year and a half. Oh my God. Nine months that pregnant. I haven't had alcohol since, and I've got a four-month, five-month-old baby. I think there's a reason they don't let us get drunk because there's been a few situations. Remember there was the guy in middle management who vomited in another co-worker's handbag? Yeah, that was the same night that I actually vomited. all over the floor in front of the bathroom

but nobody knew about it because the other guy vomited in the handbag I feel like I slipped on that vomit because the last time I drank was 18 hours ago Hey we still playing that game where you were trying to stick to the conversation Clint yours is literally

mine is in months and yours is in hours and we're the same we're both like I'm 18 months 18 months and I'm 18 hours so for every hour I haven't drunk you've gone a whole month that is outrageous I know. So, yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do on Friday. And I'm not being funny, it has 18 hours.

It was probably 4 o'clock yesterday, however. Yeah, so what is the plan? Because I can't go in with my own plan. I feel like we're a team, so we need to, you know. I'm Uber. I'm personally Uber. People have drinking plans. I'm Uber-in in.

I'm not going to. Yes, you're drinking. Yeah. Put it this way. I went to a thing the other night. It was the same thing we were talking about the Auckland FC and I had four beers. Okay, maybe five. That's a lot for you.

Maybe five, but I got home. I got home. and I could have been on the fucking Fearfall at Rainbow's End It was like the room was spinning I was like, I know I think I'm actually allergic to alcohol I've got a friend like that

Yeah I think I've got like some sort of allergic thing I definitely can't add to this conversation Yeah yeah yeah so I think that's probably Allergic Like it reacts to you that badly When you feel crap I think like that's why some people have to go sober Because you know for what you can handle

Versus what other people can handle their bodies Just like I almost instantly feel hung over Like it takes an hour And I'm like Oh fuck I feel hungover Huh That sucks So I should just drink so much

He never feels a hangover So that's why I just go on to cold hard drugs Like they don't seem to affect me as much Heroin's fine Yeah yeah shoot me up Straight to the hard stuff Yeah I'll do that on the ferry on the way over Don't say that

The fairy sponsors this show Shit I won't do that on the ferry on the way over I'll leave that to when I step off Cut that one out please go I'll do it on the bus Are they sponsoring it as well No Okay I'll do it on the bus

Oh yeah you can find a heroine on on the bus. Yeah. Maybe we should bleepie up. Beep that out, would you? Yeah, what was the saying? Only once?

Yeah. Or not once? I'll cut that. Cut that out. Yeah. No, it'll be fun. Everyone's at their Secret Santa. Oh, good job.

I got mine yesterday and it's a fucking good one. Really? I'm pretty stoked of mine as well. I think I'm going to win. Oh. So how exciting. That's three in a row that we all are very happy with. I was like, I would be stoked.

to get this gift I think I went Mine's not like that Oh I went joke last year And she was so embarrassed Like she never wore it I'm not doing joke I'm not doing joke

I've gone with like Someone will go Whoever I got goes Oh my God I actually proper love this Same I'm going joke Cause I'm going to go

I'm going to fuck shit up Like that's what you do at Secret Santa What's this nice stuff You don't do that It's a nice one That he will love that Carl can be

To the edge What a couple Maybe three years ago Four years ago now Yeah Whenever it was there Literally one of my highlights was like knowing we've got Carl for Secret Santa because he's the only one that goes brutal.

No, but the thing was, Carl needs someone like me who goes lovely. So to show how brutal has actually used. Not at all. No, it should. Everyone just goes brutal and just goes in on everyone else. It's the only way to have a, yeah, it's a good time. Have you shaved your pubs into a box again? I have shaved my pubs.

I'm looking pretty good down there, but they're not in a box yet. They're actually in the vacuum cleaner, but that gave me a great idea, Dan. You're the only ginger, though, so it would give away the secret. They'll be like, orange pubs, thanks, Carl. That's that's definitely Carl. Yeah. Oh, wow. You guys both went nice.

Yeah, so I reckon, Carl, you need to make sure whoever you've got opens their gift after a really nice one. So the juxtaposition is at its peak. Or I just go first and all the rest of you look like losers because you went too nice. Because I think I heard Ash said she went serious as well, didn't she? She went to not nice. So you'll know the person in open mind because they're going to go, oh wow like that

they'll honestly almost fucking gasm almost gasm that's how good it is did you give them a photo of me or what no

I said almost gasm not definitely gasp thank you Megan yeah this is my hype girl there she is no

they'll stand up and go fuck who is this fucking good gun that's what I'll say oh but then you'll be gutted because it's sick you'll do the smug You'll go some mug, mum

No, and then I'll go out to them and go Was it a cool present? That's what Guy did one year He went up to a girl When she was really stuck with her As he goes, Hope you like a present Oh, you're like a present for a reason But if you do the opposite

If they hate it You go go, oh, pretty shit, go through it. Who's got there? No, Meg, I know for a fact It's a $50 limit And he spent $15. There's no $15 present that's going to make someone gas up

$1,500. No, he was like he spent $15 $14? No, $44. No, you said $14. 15 and you said and I quote like fuck I'm spending $50 on anyone that works here. I thought there was no limit

this year was just spend what you want Is there a limit? So how about you just fucking just keep shit on right? Honestly I thought the whole thing was there's no limit but it's meant to be brutal and funny. Did I get the wrong email? No I feel like that's the rules Oh I don't know if it was 50s

so I spent 50 bucks. Oh I got the email that said it's got to be cheap and nice Oh did you? You get different emails. Yeah. That's weird. Maybe they sent them one email to the rich people. Neeps, did you go nice or mean? I didn't go brutal.

I've gone a very, like my one's quite personal to who I'm buying for, so it'll be very relevant to that person but no one else around. Yeah, but that's my, like mine. Mine's, I haven't just gone, fucking brought like something off. Yeah, no, it's personal to the person, but a nice person. Maybe we try and plant the sea whilst we're on the ferry, being like, oh, how good is the theme for Secret Santa this year, naughty or nice?

Oh, I mean, so that when we do it, everyone goes, Oh, I missed that email. I like that. Nauty or nice? You don't know if you have been bought for with the premise of them being naughty. Or, in my case, nice. Well, let's get some of the people,

there's many people in the office now. Let's get them in. Yeah, and ask them, did they do naughty or nice? Yeah, let's do it. While we're doing that, I've helped another team member with their secret center for a thing. And this one isn't brutal, but it's fucking clever and I'm really proud of it

that, like, what we came up with. It's going to be epic. I feel like that's mine too, Carl. It's not brutal, but I feel like it's quite funny. This is going to be the hit, this one, I reckon. Not even my one, but this other person's one, I reckon this is going to... So it'll be... He's helped someone with one of our ones, sounds like.

No, because the problem is, you'll have a really fun gift going, if I got so-and-so, I know what I would do, but the problem is, the chances of you getting who you want are so slim. I don't want another good gift, because I think I'm getting edgy of the year again. Fitchie of the year. To do it twice, first person ever. Edgey of the year is like a fucking JJ Feeney did it.

If anyone was to do it twice, it'd be Bella. Well, Edge of the Year's a trophy, and everyone votes. It'd be fucking Bella. Bella, who? Bella Holt. Our web girl. Oh, right. I know they met her.

Okay, so everyone gets the vote. You get two points for your first nomination. You used to get one for your second nomination. And you can vote for anyone in the Edge Office. And whoever gets most points, obviously, gets the trophy and it gets engraved. Just think of that, though, first back to backer. Meg's had it. Dan's had it.

Steph who does Edge Arvo. She's had it. Guess what Dan and Ash were talking about? They go, I don't think announcers should even be in the running. And Dan goes, yeah. I don't think announcers should be able to get it. Oh, nice. Because your name's already on the trophy, buddy.

Oh, you know what, Clint? I did vote for you this year. Well, you only did that. You only did. No, I did. I voted for you this year, and now I'm not going to tell you what I said about you. Well, it doesn't matter because AB will read out the nice things. Because normally he does honourable mentions, people that didn't win but had nice things.

Okay, well, then that one person that voted for you was me. Lily, with a secret Anna, come on in. With Secret Santa this year, with the theme, naughty or nice. Which one did you do, naughty or nice? Both. Both? Yeah. Norty Ann?

Noddy and nice. For the person, I think it would be nice for them, but it's also a little bit naughty. Okay, you know? It's like half and half. Emma, did you do naughty or nice? I've also done both. Wait, two presents or the one prison is both? It's one present, but I think it can be considered nice and also naughty. Oh, how is that possible? You guys are very clever. That's good. At least it's not just nice. These boys have just done nice.

So this is Jamie who actually put the whole Secret Santa things. Yeah, I'm interested to what Jamie says to be fair. Noddy or nice thing. Noddy or nice. My present? Yeah, for Secret Santa. I'd say in the middle. What the fuck? Not just nice. Oh, I'd say a little bit naughty.

Like funny? Yeah, it's funny. Is it more on a naughty side than nice? The content in the prison is quite naughty. Like, I'm not sure if it's appropriate to bring to a work function. Same with me, okay, we're all good. These two just be nice. I'm just gone really lovely.

Same. Like, I don't think... Actually, work... My present could be naughty as well as nice because I think my present could get my Secret Santa naked. Oh. Okay, well then mine could be... Oh, fuck, no, mine's just nice.

Clint just wants to get a secret saying to naked so then he can join them. Yeah. Oh, are we doing that, are we? We won't take much. Okay. Okay. It seems like, yeah, let's have you. Step on up.

Em and Josh, what about you guys? Okay, both sat at the same time. We'll count you down, Emma, Josh. Three, two, one. Nice. Nice. Oh, we have done. It's an evil splint.

Have you asked Yez yet? No. You need to ask Yaz. Yeah. Has she organized? her gift already because that is unlike her. And do you all know who you've got? Because we've discussed her we have.

Yeah, yeah, we have. It's the least of secret, Santa. It's so on a secret. Can we just say now? Should we just call it everybody no Santa? Far out. That's so, we can't, there's no secrets here at the edge. I hope you also as me because if you want me to get new, that's weird. Cal's is also naughty and nice.

Okay. It's in the middle. But yeah, it's as is naughty. So you know who they've got and what presents they've got them. Oh my gosh, we had to ask your advice. We don't know each other's prisons, but we've got at least, right? No, we don't know the actual gifts. I've told who I've told them who I've told them.

Oh, no, we do know Dad's. Dan's told me too. You're terrible with secrets. Yeah, I don't know who you've got. Yeah, but you don't know what I bought. No. No. Oh, but now that I remember who you've got, it's really fucking inappropriate. You want them naked.

No, I don't want them that. She's like 20 something. It could get them naked. It could get them naked. Do you know, so with my one, like, this is how I know I'm on the right track. I am genuinely quite nervous about the person getting it and going, shit, this could go either way. This could go tits up or it could be a good laugh.

I have an answer to that too, so we're on the same sort of page. I have a little bit of, like, I think it's going to be funny. It's where you're meant to be. Wait, how many drinks deep will everyone be by the time we do Secret Sandra? Hopefully a couple for mine. Okay, I think the person when they open mine is going to cry from happiness. Oh, that's so lovely. genuinely like they'll be like

and who knows me this? Fuck I hope I don't care you don't have me how much have you guys spent on your prisons because that you know we didn't really have a budget

I thought it was 50 so it's been 50 no budget right no budget no budget thank you I've spent a lot of time I would say hours of time

she got us for free she's crafted some shit money as well I spent and then I had to 45 but lots of time do you know

it would have been so funny, if I know there's no budget, if you'd got a Secret Santa and just give them like $1,000, and everyone would be so pissed off. So unrelatable. It would make you want to say, so unrelatable for us what you're talking about. Like, if you can, if you could.

So yours is basically, I'll pay you $1,000 to get your kid off, basically. No, it's... That's really really inappropriate for it. Is it one of the early 20-year-olds? Is that who you've got for Secret Santa? Every time you lose a piece of clothing, another $50 a piece of peers? No, damn, that's not our way.

What did you guys? spend then? 60. 60 to 70. 60 to 70? Fucking how? There's some good gifts then. You guys get paid well. Sixty to 70. I do not 35.

That's more... No, 35's a good amount. Yeah, but they don't have kids. How much did you spend? They just absolutely bleed cash. How much do you spend? 50. I thought that was the limit, so I was like, right, I'll spend up to the limit.

Dan has spent the limit. least amount. I have not. How much did you spend? Time is money. No, but how much? And what did you do towards yours? Went to Kmart. And how much cash did you give Kmart in exchange for the present? I don't want to support

conglomerates. Like Kmart are doing some fucking dodgy shit in Afghanistan. I think they're sponsors us. Okay. $15. And I really love them to bits. Yeah. I love that they're a mart and they've also got a Kmart. I can't speak quite, a bleed Kmart.

Yeah. There it is. Bleak came out. Thank you for that. I want to name a kid. Bleepie up. Yeah. Let's get rid of that one. Yeah, let's get rid of that. Okay. I want to live in there.

Hey, so because we're leaving for the ferry at midday guys, are you guys feeling bad that you won't have done a full day's work? So you guys starting at five with us or what's happening? Yeah, coming in and getting up at four. I'm going to later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would too. Okay.

Can I just stress that this podcast is brought to you by Kmart. Okay, right. For all your needs, they'll do anything. Okay, thanks. See, we'll catch you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Came up.