The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS why do I sound like Donald Trump?

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. This is the OnlyFans podcast with Clint Meg and Dan. It's not meant to be as explicit as the actual Onlyfans, but most of the time it is. Hey everyone, welcome to The Only Fans with Clint Dan and Ash Linden. Good to have you. Hello, Angels. I'm loving angels instead. Oh, beautiful. God, she's got a good voice, doesn't she? She does.

They've all got pretty good voices on this show. Yeah, but Ash doesn't like flicks the proper vocal often. Like, she's just, you know when people can say? sing they're just kind of half singing most of the time until it's like seriously and you go oh girl like when Ash did Love's an Open Door hit the spot with Dad that's when I was like

I don't think those all my best vocals because they're very high for me yeah but you've got quite a high voice I mean we did that song the other day the Love is an Open Door you had all the notes and that's a high Kristen Bell song you know she's amazing she's a few of you're going to say Christian song I don't think it is No Christian Bell

Shine Jesus shine No I'll keep it going with it Well I don't know You don't know, you neither. Did you not do, like, you don't have Bible in schools, like in primary? No, God, no. We're, like, one hour on a Wednesday that have, like, a person that would come to teacher. The only sort of experience I have with any sort of religion was going to a Christian camp with my friend Alistair.

He used to, he was a Christian. Oh, they're trying to give you a life to the Lord of the end. And I remember we went to, I don't know where it was now from memory. It was somewhere, like, down south. Culture Springs, maybe. They have one there. Yeah, and it was, I remember we, it was fun. because all the girls

were there like they're all free and easy not in that way not no no no what I mean it's not close relationship with Jesus they shouldn't have been no but not you those are the ones

who have been invited that's what you want to know Dan are they the church ones or are they the friends who's been invited along but the thing is they weren't what I mean is they were lovely

you know and all fun and we'd play games and stuff but they were the ones that you know married off much earlier than everyone else yeah like I think all of them have married and divorced

three times over But I remember there was this one thing where we split off And I don't know if this is a Christian thing And they'd put like two of us in a room And with about three other adults So there was a woman and then a guy and then us And it was like a counselling session And you'd go round, you'd sit in a circle

And you'd go round the group And like talk about like stuff that's bothering you And I was like probably 13, 14 And I remember there was this one lady there Who was morbidly obese And she started crying about how she couldn't lose weight. Why are the adults talking about their problems? Exactly.

And we were sitting there like 14 years old and she's like crying like bawling her eyes like going over it. She would have been in her 40s. Was she a leader? She was one of the leaders yeah. And then there was another, there was like two other adults there as well. But like we all went around the group and she burst into tears and I remember being like this is

fucking weird. That's so weird. There's a lot for a 13, 14 year old to deal with an unpacked. And I went home to my mum after it went home and she was like, how was Christian Cam? I told her the story and she's like, you're never going back there again. No.

I'm a surprised you let you go on Christian camp. Well, I think it was more because all my mates were going. Like it was Alistair and then a couple of other friends and I felt like I was missing out. And she was like, oh, fuck, what's the worse that can happen? Yeah, they're not going to do drugs. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's just going to a morbidly obese lady.

You know, I grew up going to Christian camp and I, that even masks are some weird shit, but nothing like that. Yeah, it was weird. But apart from the other stuff was fun. Like, we were just kind of playing around. We played Spin the Bottle. And I remember.

Oh, you were at a cool Christian camp. Yeah, well, all the adults had gone to bed and, like, you'd meet up outside in the playground and spin the bottle. And I remember every morning, before breakfast they'd sing hymns. And we'd get up and I'd go into the church, and there'd be people like with their arms in the air, like going, shout to the Lord of the earth, let us sing. And I remember that was like, oh, cool.

Yeah, that's a nice. But a bit weird that they had their arms in the year. It's like an antenna for God, isn't it really? Yeah. Do you know, ironically, Lord is sick of that? Is she? You know that song? I'm kind of over being told to throw my hands up in the air.

Yeah, that's true. So, yeah. And I'm like, well. Oh, is that a reference to like? I don't think so. It was a reference to DJs. Yeah, it was more just a Chryso game. But I remember the age that I went to enough secular, we called it,

which is like non-Christian. I went to enough secular gigs to realize that the feeling that I had thought was the Holy Spirit was just the music. I went to a gang of music, so I was like, well, it feels the same. And they're singing about, you know. Other stuff. You know, my group, actually, this is funny,

because my group of friends, it was me and like five other dudes, basically, and we were all fucking virgins at high school. Oh, I'm glad you said virgins. Yeah. Have you ended the sentence before virgins? Me and five dudes, and we're all just... We were all just fucking.

I was like, they definitely would have liked that on Christian camp. And I remember the first one of us to lose their virginity was the Christian god. Yeah, it's the same with my friendship group. Yeah. It was a hardcore Catholic. It was like, so hardcore. She had a kid in, like, I want to say, you're 12.

and she's since had five more. Yeah, because you can ask for forgiveness at the end. No, that's not how it works, I don't think. Yeah. But they always say there's that saying, watch out for the pastor's kid. Oh, the PKs? Yeah, because it's like the other pastors' kids

so they're meant to be all holy and righteous or whatever. The other ones, they're going to rebel the hardest because of this hardcore upbringing that many of them face. Do you remember that Simpsons episode with Reverend Lovejoy's daughter? And she's like a little bit of a minks. Yeah, exactly. And she starts flirting with Bart, and she's like really naughty and like a bit of a bad ass, bitch.

And it leads them astray. Yeah, you're right. PKs. They're bandits for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are the ones. The best memories of my life on my camp is called Adonak, because it was owned by Canadians and Adonak is Canada backwards.

And we'd go every year just to meet boys. Really? And we'd be like, every year, like, you know, and one year, the twins called Michael and Thomas, Michael and Bennett Thomas, they were twins. And one of them liked me and one of them liked my friend. And it was like the best day of my life I was like a boy likes me You know the first time I saw a genital

Was at the Parachute Christian Festival That was a thing wasn't it Yeah I remember someone got there It was a penis But someone I was like to guess mate So I was talking a nudie run

And I remember like I remember thinking at the time The irony was not lost on me That I'd gone to big day out many times And other stuff And then I had to see one genital What I needed to do was going to the They would have been kicked out

Surely indecent exposure At a Chryso camera I don't think they were, because it was in the, like, campground. How did you end up a parachute? Because there was, like, sexual stuff going on. We used to go to Parachute Festival because I worked for a Christian radio station. So we'd go every year. It was like our, like, the Edge is Electric Avenue.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you'd go there. I don't remember too many, like, crazy stories. But, I mean, because if you went camps, then they're all intense. That'd be rooting like rabbits, I would have thought. Why were you at Parachute Music Festival? With the same friend, we went down. It was like a trip.

He was trying to convert you. Yeah, bad. He was cool, though. We're still friends to this day. He was a great guy. Does he still love the Lord? I don't think as much as he did. Yeah.

Oh, he's like L-U-Vs him. Yeah, I actually don't know. I called up with him recently. I actually don't think he doesn't go to... He's like Euclin. He pretends he's a Christian. Goes to church, doesn't go to church. Yeah, but you have your faith.

You don't have to be part of the machine. Exactly. I think that's it, right? Like some people are like, no, you've got to be hardcore and you have to be doing this, this, this, this, this. Don't be lukewarm. What will God do? Spit you out.

I mean, I got married in the church, Hannah's family's Catholic, not practicing again, like they don't go to church every week, but we wanted to get married with some sort of religion above it. Before I was even involved in any sort of faith in whatever, because I was like 18 or 19, I was found interesting that people that didn't believe in God, then when there's a funeral, they're all praying and they're all talking about going to a better place. And I'm like, but you don't believe in this. And then over Easter, everyone's going.

getting a Christian holiday off like Good Friday and Easter Monday and I'm like well you don't believe Jesus existed so but you're celebrating this that's why I did the opposite when I got married I had decided by then that I was agnostic yeah so I did the opposite out of respect for the Christian faith I was like I don't want to get out there and pretend so we had a like a secular I guess you'd call it sermon but delivered by my one of my best friends and my husband's a pastor so he is like you know allowed to marry people but and to his credit he was amazing we sat down and I said, I don't want you to mention. Like, because in Australia for ages, you had to say that, like,

marriage is between a man and a woman. I said, I don't want any of that. Oh, yeah, until very recently. Yeah, I started to get heaps removed. I said, I don't want any prayers or, like, Bible verses. And because he loved me, he's like, yep, no worries, whatever you want. So he did a secular service for me, which was so cool. Whenever I hear the word, like, the name pastor, I was thinking about Carbonara.

Yeah, I'm my maid of carbonara this week. Can I give you the recipe for the easiest and best carbonara you'll make? Yeah. Okay, so you're going to get four eggs. This is a hard pivot, eh? Pass-a-pass-up. So you put two eggs in a bowl and then you had two yolks.

So you've got four yolks. Do you have to be evenly yoked? Oh, that's another Christian reference. You would have to marry another Christian. Yeah, Christians have to marry Christians out of them as you're unevenly yoke. So you've got two eggs and two yolks and then you're going to grate some parmesan cheese in there and then you're going to beat it up.

And then you're going to cut some bacon up, fry off your bacon. Cook your pasta. Drain your pasta, mix it into the... You've lost me. It's very easy. All you've done is you've got one bowl, it's got eggs and cheese in it. And then you fry off some pasta, I mean some bacon. Oh, wait.

So are we throwing the pasta and the bacon? You boil the pasta on one hob. You fry the bacon on the other. You put them together. So you drain your pasta into your bacon. Mix it around. Wait, so when you drain the pasta, you're draining the water into the bacon. You drain the pasta and then you put the dry pasta into the bacon.

And then you mix it through the egg and cheese. I've fallen asleep by now. It's so easy and so delicious. I'm going to take you home and take a photo. Like, there's fucking, the bacon sloshing around and all the pasta water. What is going on here? Did you use the microwave?

The what? Microwave, no way. So once you strain it and you just destroy the pasta, are you done? Dunskies, because the hot pasta cooks the egg. And then you put cheese, salt and pepper, Bob's your uncle. Okay. And it takes like a restaurant.

I think a carbonara is quite hard to fuck up from what I understood from my wife Hannah. She's like... She's like... She just gave you a secret and you're like, yeah, well, fucking... I'm not saying that hers is a bad thing, but I'm just saying that yours is probably at a level that is an upper echelonant of carbonara.

But I think just your average carbonara is not hard to fuck up. Well, that's because the average person's carbonara is like cream and garlic, and that's not a carbonara. Carbonara should have no cream in it. It's just parmesan and egg. We should have a carbonara off

because my wife Hannah would... Wouldn't it be a carbonara off? She thinks she does a good carbonara as well, but I reckon that your one could... So wait, is that a carbonara? A carbonara off or a carbonara off? A carbonara off. He's in one of his moods.

He's spiraling. There's absolutely no point in even fucking going with it. Because he just starts, you know, like he starts spiraling into just an annoying. So we'll do a blind taste test on the carbunara. Yeah. But it has to be fresh. You can't be bringing it in. Oh, that tastes good the next day.

But the best carbunara, I think, is as soon as you've got that cheese and that egg melted. Yeah. It's a perfect amount. Yum. I'm hungry now. Okay. I'm hungry too, but I've never been hungry enough to eat a blind person. Clint's run out of batress

So rule me out of the blind tasters Yeah he's at low-vaulted reset Okay Actually Ash has to put up with me for about another hour Are you going to go record Hopeless Romantics Oh yeah so you're going to do Before we finish up this podcast What are you going to be

What's your sort of question line Going to focus on Ash? Well I think there will be a lot of bonding Over our experiences of faith in our 20s And what I really want to talk about is how he was married young and you do so much changing in your life in your 20s, so how do you change

with someone but change together? Can I give you a little bit of a question line you could sort of dig into? When him and his wife weren't practicing sexual intercourse but he broke his arm and she had to wash him in the shower. No, I broke my collarbone. You know, whatever it was.

Yeah, I couldn't move around. They had to exercise a lot of, you know. She would have wanted to put that thing. The way Clint describes it is one of the most erotic things I've ever heard. Dad didn't know his fantasy is breaking his collarbone and then getting his girlfriend to wash him

when they're not allowed to have sex because they're not married. But you're not allowed to like it's taboo to have sex but she's rinsing, lathering you up like fuck me. It's something you'd see in like a moot like one of those sexy movies. Oh my God, he's going to slight fantasy. And then Jamie's like, Clint I can. And he's like, just one.

Why is like him talking like Donald Trump? Oh my god. My collarbone's so sore. This is very nice. This is very nice. That's why. Have you had a stroke as well? You're doing my impression.

He's like, Jamie, I've got a dirty cock. She's like, I can't clean that. She would have been like, right, I told you that you were going to do this. So, fuck it, you clean yourself. And what about my bottom? My bottom, that. I need a luffer up there. Do you know what Dan said the other day?

And this might get edited out because I don't want to just throw him under the because he's throwing me under. But Dan said the other day, he doesn't think he's gay. He goes, I don't think I'm gay because every time I've shoved something up there, I haven't enjoyed it. I've said,

that sounds pretty gay. He said what I've said. I've tried putting something up there and it wasn't for me. It's not multiple items, like pool cues and fucking spoons and shit. You make it sound like I've put like fucking air friar up there.

You better fib it up there, once. Hair prior. Like people are going to jump to conclusions. They're going to go off was he putting up there A fucking straightening iron Fucking ear tolls A microphone Tell me what he put up

I don't think gay people enjoy air fries up their ass either If I'm honest I don't know because I'm not gay Okay We know that now darling All right But don't put a fucking Frank Greenbottle up your ass It's gonna end badly for you

See you guys If anyone's still listening Anyway Love you Bye It was a vivid Rover Music

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