The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS with Clint & Meg (NO DAN WHATSOEVER...)

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover Come for the chat stay for the trauma bonding this is clipping and dance only fans With Clinton Meg Dan is here Dan is here, but he's refusing to speak He's a little bitch and he got upset about something the boss said to me earlier on about and so he's just he's refusing Oh, there it is Let me just preface it's because I'm losing my voice and I'm on vocal rest. Thank you Clint Somebody's stolen my bell. I need to keep it tally. I win that one. You're right. Would you cuz don't lie No one likes being lied to me

So don't lie to our listeners who we value very much Dan and Dan was also annoyed because the boss was like Chris Pratt's a B-list and Dan said no way I will not have that said about Chris Pratt. He has an A-lister all day, every day. Absolutely. And I said, Dan, I agree, which is weird because normally we don't. And so he's like, guys,

I'm not gonna speak in this podcast. And so we just thought, okay, let's see how long that lasts. How many seconds was that? Probably, I'd say nine. Nine seconds. So your average time, Dan, last thing, right? I'd say I'd take that as a yes.

Speaking of the A-Lister game though, if you caught that last week, I think it was Thursday's podcast. That's a fun game, it's now made it on the air. But sometimes, let's be honest, this podcast is a breeding ground for us to try new things to see if it's actually good enough for the rest of the country. Yeah. Now I did have something to bring to the podcast. Oh is it about how to tell if someone's a virgin by their lack of input

into a conversation? Yeah yeah I did have that marked, Clint, I did have that marked. No I had what I thought was some really like nice words from Megan Markle and how inspirational she has been. So Megan Markle, quotes to read. Dan, don't jump in and shower Megan Markle with compliments. We know you're a huge fan. Okay. You can be a woman who wants to look good and still stand out for the equality of woman. Oh. Dan, you like that one don't you? You're nodding. On mental health, she says we just need to be kinder to ourselves if we treated and still stand out for the equality of woman. Dan, you like that one, don't you? Look at you nodding. Yeah, that's very good.

On mental health, she says we just need to be kinder to ourselves if we treated ourselves the way we treated our best friend. Can you imagine how much better off we would be? And that's from Megan Markle. You loving these, Dan? Okay, yes, he's nodding away. Other famous quotes from Megan Markle,

specifically that she has said is the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I saw her as well she had a thing about how she is sick of people taking photos of her and stuff and she just doesn't want to be in the spotlight and she was saying that don't be surprised if you never see me again. Yeah, and she said it yet a lot as well. She said that my favourite word is yet. I haven't made it yet.

I haven't had success in this Netflix show yet. I haven't sold out of my screen yet. That yet thing is actually, I know Dan loves her, but I get a little pissed off because it's like you could say, I haven't lost out of my thing is actually I know Dan loves it But I get a little pissed off because it's like you could say I haven't lost my job Yes, you could do the yet very it can be negative It's just you're putting a positive start like spin on it, which is like anything You're just pretty much you're saying be a glass half full person because you can see the negative and positive in anything Yeah, producer Anipia. Yeah, like Dan doesn't like Meg and Markle. Yet.

Absolutely but he will. He'll warm to her. We know he will. Liam Lawson on the other hand hates him. Now I did see that Liam did do a really good race the other day. No, no he didn't. He got eighth. Oh but he did the best thing. You know podium for eighth. Meg only first, second and third. But I read that it was his best race so so it was his best race, 8th. I hope that's not true. I hope that's not a stat. Because if my best place was 8th, my mum's not even keeping that ribbon. If only we had somebody in the room that would actually know the stats so we don't fuck them up and piss them off.

Well, I think there's something like nine races in the Formula One. So I think you got 8th here, you got second to last. Second to last, that's a loser. No one's celebrating that. Absolutely, yeah, loser loser. In fact I don't even know what's impressive if eighth is his best time he's ever done why would we be celebrating that? I think if you've had such mediocre results for so long you've got to celebrate any sort of like that must be achievement and so then all of a sudden it's like let's say you came last in cross-country every year Meg and then one year you got eighth that'd be a big deal

to the school wouldn't it? Yeah it would be it would be I guess maybe that's why we celebrate him. So that's why I think. Yeah okay. I also wanted to bring up the fact that Dan has been hiding money from his wife again. No he doesn't hide it, he just omits that he earns extra cash on the side that she doesn't know about. He's um, he's purchased 35 watches in the past couple of weeks and he- 34! Oh sorry 34. 34 watches in the past couple of weeks. It is his new addiction, he wears them up his arm, changes his- Where else is he supposed to fucking wear them?

I mean like, all of them. Oh right, like from his armpit to his wrist. He's gotta get bigger sizes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has like that trench coat dude, he opens them up and they're all just hanging off the coat because he doesn't have enough space on his arm. Yeah, and I think he lies to his wife about how much they cost. Yeah. He told me one time that he wraps them around his penis and uses to jerk off with so...

Oh. That's what. You guys are too close sometimes I think. I know, we do not fight too much about each other. All the things I could say about Dan Wheatley. Yeah and the um all the records that he gets delivered secretly to work so his wife doesn't know. Yeah. Yeah. He's not worried because she doesn't listen to this podcast.

Doesn't she? No. Didn't Dan get a pay rise once and he started siphoning off the extra money every week and then his wife realised that she, he got a new contract and was like, where did that money go? That's right. Like, didn't you get paid more money? That's when I think Dan got caught out and he had to move in with his brother for three weeks.

Yeah, he had to pay it back. Pay it back and do chores I think to make up for it. Became his sex slave. That sounds like fun. Having quiche again tonight. Not being your wife's sex slave. I mean, well... Wouldn't mind it. Respectfully. Wouldn't mind it. That's not what I was meaning.

He said that her ass is looking great at the moment the other day, didn't he Dan? Oh yeah, Dan. The true story. Not that all the stuff we've been saying previously wasn't. Definitely true. Dan said his wife's got a great ass and he goes, and I've got a great ass. So he said George, his son, who's like one, is gonna, he can't not have a fantastic ass growing up. Yeah. Nothing to say that dad. That's a great, yeah. He said, and then he said he's already got a great ass,

and I was like, dude, that's too much. And that's not a lie, you'd think that's the lie. Out of all the things that we've said, he did say that. I said I'm not commenting on my children's ass shape or volume. Yeah, or anatomy, ever. Thank you.

I think that's not very normal, actually. Dan actually, I think he wrote, I think that's not very normal actually. Dan actually, I think he wrote... I think Dan ended up writing a song for his son. Oh yeah. Is it Bounce? Was it called Bounce? Bounce, ba-bounce, ba-bounce. Mow Bounce in the motherfucking house. That's such a shit song if you wrote that Dan.

I think it's this one. Thank you, Zellie. That's such a shit song if you wrote that, Dan. I think it's this one. Dan did a collab. He's pretty humble about it. This one. Mm-hmm. Oh, here it is. Big, big booty, but you got a big booty Ooh! Big, big booty, but you got a big booty Ooh, that's Dan. He does that. Ooh! Biggy egg!

Big, big booty, but you got a big booty No, it works. Probably can't play too much much of that because then Spotify ends up pulling the podcast down. Sorry about that, Dan. I know you want us to support your music about your son. Anyway, but yeah, if you missed it, I'll just play it again. Dan, if you listen carefully, he does that, ooh. Big, big booty. But you got a big booty.

Ooh. That's Dan. Ooh. He can do it for us live, but he's resting his voice. Well, actually, you know, he's not speaking to me because he's not getting paid for this. Oh, yeah. We've never got paid for this podcast. I thought Dan was on vocal rest because he's got a creaky throat. And we're talking about maybe doing a live performance of Teenage Dirtbag this week. On the air, so the quality can be nice and crisp, just like any other song.

And Dan said he wanted his vocals to be good, because otherwise he won't be able to sing. And Yaz is going to be jumping in and doing the lead, he said. I would argue that he should just let Yaz do the vocals because she's a better singer anyway. You know, when his voice is rested. Yeah, we did like a big singing comp thing a while back. And he only won because he knew he didn't. No, he didn't win. He has beat him. No, no. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yes, he did win. He got a second.

But he only got a second place because he was the groomsman to the wedding of the judge or something. No, you know, he was the best man. So one of the guys who was the judge, he worked on the Matilda production. He, I don't know, maybe it was two or three years ago got married and Dan was his best man. And then we found that out afterwards once he got second. Crazy. You think if you're the best man he'd give you first, but maybe yours was that good. So it was a shame.

It was a shame. We could have had like, the band was good but it could have been better with the singing. In fact, we've never said this to Dan, but Meg and I actually scored higher than Dan as as well and when we found the results we said to the guy you can't do that to Dan, it'll kill him. It'll kill him, give him second, it'll kill him. Yeah they just said he had no stage presence I think and then the pitch was a bit... Oh the guy told me the vocal was awful. Oh the vocal and specifically. But it feels mean saying this now because why did we keep it a secret all these years if we're just gonna out them now? I don't know Clint. I think it's just nothing to say dad. Okay right well um probably should wrap it there before somebody says something that's untrue on this very truthful podcast that we've done today.

And you don't want to bring forward, guess the fart of any means? Ooh. Maybe Dan, you could, because I only do it on a Friday. Yeah, why don't you fart Dan? You could fart into the mic. That's a good idea.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could fart. Dan, give it a go. Okay, see how you go, Dan. Come on, Dan. Because that's resting your voice still. Here we go, Dan. Yeah, you wouldn't be saying go. Okay. See how you go Dan. Come on Dan, because that's resting your voice still. Here we go Dan. Yeah, it wouldn't be saying anything.

Come on Dan. Come on stage fright. Classic. We were all waiting. Come on Dan. Do the fart. Daniel. Do the fart! Daniel! Pfff! Oh, Dan, that's disgusting. That's gross, Dan. Oh, that's thick. It's viscous. Oh, it smells like almonds! Smells like...am I saying that right? Almonds! Almonds, yeah. It smells like almonds. Alm almonds and salmon.

And what? Salmon. Salmon and almonds. Salmon and almonds. I didn't know that was the quote. No, it's not. I don't know. It's a matter of if you won't bang you, then you stand off.

Can I say something now? Yeah. You're the one who fucked me up the most with the Meghan Markle shit. Can't stand it. See you tomorrow guys.