The Edge Breakfast - ONLYFANS wuss & puss

Episode Date: August 17, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Welcome to the podcast that should have been cancelled before it even started. This is Clint McGee and Dan's OnlyFans. Podcast, that is. Welcome back to the Only Fans, everyone with myself Clint, Dan and Ash, London. Good to see you. Good to see you both. How was the weekends team?

Lots of moving, but good. You know, when you move to somewhere you love, and automatically you feel like your life changes. Yeah. Because you're looking around at your surroundings. You're like, yeah. I have a walk-in pantry now. Oh, Scullery.

And that is just life-changing. That's rich. Because you can see all the food you have. When it's all in a normal pantry, things get covered and you don't know the full breadth of your options. But the problem is then you have to fill that space. Like, we've got a pantry that's pretty big, but it's not a walk-in of variety. But I still struggle to fill that pantry. So having a walk-in, I'd be fucked.

No, we've just put like appliances in there. Oh, yeah. You know, like the slow cook or and things. I've just got three shelves of food, but I can see everything. same with my clothes because I've got to walk in wardrobe now. I can see all my clothes and I can put outfits together. I feel like I'm in share in clueless. Nice.

I was so hung over on Sunday. I didn't even think I was going to make it in Monday. You know, when you're still feeling sorry for yourself. Well, it was this party and it was just open bar. What did you drink? And they had, well, okay, I started out with champagne. Yeah. And I had two or three of those.

Then I realized that the bartenders were making espresso martini. I was like, okay. There is, there is like, almost the cryptonite. Stop having those and so much alcohol Then I wanted an April sprits Because I saw someone with one of those And I was like yeah So really anytime you see anyone with a drink

You get a phone-o I was like I was like what's that It was like purple She's like it's like it's a lightchie martini Have some and I tried I was like so it's back to the bar Getting a lightchy martini Then there was like a really nice bottle of whiskey

With like whiskey glasses So I'll do one of those on the rocks And then I'd be vomiting by now Then went back to the champagne Because some more moette came up Yeah Oh god You can't be finishing with champagne

That's on you, bro And then you said there was that person walking around With that dust stuff That white powder And you said, I have some of that What was that? No, that would have probably straightened you out I wouldn't know

From what I've heard What is a temple, etc etc And so on the temple It sounds like a very exclusive party I wasn't invited Where was this? It was a PR event Sounds a bit swing asy to me

It does Well because it's a house party Because it's meant to be like Once you're over 30 you don't want to supposedly go to bars and be screaming in each other's ears and paying 80 bucks around for drinks so you go to someone's like

it's kind of like they teeter up like when your rich friends parents go away for the weekend and they throw a party and that's kind of what they're trying to replicate field trip events. It's a new thing it's starting out I don't know what tickets would cost because obviously they were just showing us how it works but it was fun it was cool to shut out

and that includes all your booze for the night all your booze they had a chef there creating a little like A bit of fun. Entries and stuff. If you had like 10 mates, and then you'd rather go to that. Dan, if you could just play it eight more.

You know the last time I, when I was flatting, the last time it was not just me that was in the flat, but other people, we threw a party. And we'd never did it again because someone shat in the cistern. They tuts it. So apparently it's the thing they do where like if you go to a party

and you poo in the like cistern of the toilet. So every time you flush, it just puts shit through the thing. Disgusting. party like that and someone had done a poo in the bathtub and then Scott I just have to mean that got up and he got up and he said and they'd left their undies there so he's like everyone check your mate someone hasn't got undies on because they've shot in the bathtub and it was it was a short person a little person oh really yeah he was like this like hilarious guy that was mad about town and he and him was like it's the mitchet and what and he and he and he

He's famous for pooing in toilets. He didn't have undies on, so people were like, well, it's you. It's him. That'd suck if you'd decide and go, Camando, that night you'd just been framed. I swear, it's not me. Do you know what was really quite cool, though, because it was quite a flash house. In the house, because they had a couple of spas and a pool. No one ended up getting into it, but there was a sauna downstairs, quite a large sauna.

Because it was quite cold on Saturday night and it was raining and wet and yuck, everyone ended up getting champagne and all just sitting in this like infrared sauna Was it on? Yeah, it was on but it was set like quite low So it's just nice and warm in there Without it been cooking Everyone was just drinking champagne

And I was like this is actually a vibe If you had a sauna on your house And yeah let's go to have some drinks in the sauna That'll be the next thing Clint buys Is it's a sauna Oh it was a collaboration hashtag paper Oh I just chuck it on the mortgage mate You can have mortgage your whole life

May as well enjoy your house Yeah true It's kind of like You go in the sauna to detox So maybe it brings back to zero You're toxify with the booze while you're detoxifying. Jesus, imagine how dusty would have been on Sunday then but it's been up for time in the sauna.

Shit. I saw this guy busking on the weekend and he was incredible. I should have recorded something with him, but he was in town in the city in Auckland. And he was, he was rapping. But he was doing it to like, so he'd do suggestions. So he'd go, give me a city, give me a name of a person,

give me a thing. And then he'd start this, like, the song. He had this, like, Ui Boom thing next to a massive thing. And he'd start a different be. each time and he'd just start rapping to the suggestions that people had given up. Those people are unreal. He's unbelievable. Don't you think he just uses, he has like 10 raps in his head

and he just puts the words different? I thought that, but then there was literally people, unless they were plants, there was people there. Obviously he knows, probably he knows the cadence of the songs. But he's thinking up lyrics on the spot, for sure. Unless, like you're saying, Ash, you have 80% of the rap memorized. And while you're rapping the memorized bits, you're going, someone said Wellington, so you're going,

or when you're going around getting suggestions you're like what word can I rhyme with that so before the song even starts it's more about placing it in the right place rather than still which in itself is a big skill either way it's impressive So what he was doing is who's getting a top line idea

So say you go I'm going to get I sort of try it by the way Oh no I got a freestyle wrapping So a top line idea So say it was like frogs So he'd be like right frogs Then give me a location

And they go on a farm And he'd go brilliant And then give me the name of a person And they go Jeff Jeff and then he'd start a rap. It was unbelievable.

Frogs on a farm with Jeff, that's your rap. No, Clint, we're going to start with you. No, no, you're explaining how the game works. No, no, no, that's just an example. Okay, well, I can't bring a game going, all right, we're going to see who's going to shit their pants the fastest. Well, I'll go first. You go first.

Okay, give me a topic. Your topic is the circus. The circus. Clint, give me a location. Oh, he's overthinking it already. Yeah, just quick. Just give me a lot. Strippers.

Strippers. That's not a location, is it? Oh, you may have the strip club? Yeah, strip club. Okay, so it's a circusy strip club. I was going to say like Todonga, but that's okay. Okay. Okay, so what are we going?

Todonger? Or whatever you want. Okay, and then give me the name of a character. Isabella? Isabella. Okay. You're rides and stuff with Bella. At the jams.

Okay. At the jams. Oh. Shea. Take me to the circus. Where the girls take off. Like, that's a fail. Okay, what's my own?

Okay, Ash. You didn't even write one word. I never said that I was good at it. But you must have a fail. He's good at every other challenge we're giving me nails. He's allowed to be sure-off at one thing. No, I've never said I was good at it. How long does he have after he gets suggestions ever think before he started?

Straight away, he's almost starting the song as he's given the suggestions. Damn. Okay. I'll be so bad. This is my nightmare. Okay, so your topic is... Yeah. Algebra. Oh, gosh.

Okay, but let's give you an easy name, Matt. Okay. And the location is... What? So many things. Alaska. Okay. Hit the jams.

Yeah, yeah. Matt in Alaska, he's really good at math. A plus Y, and he got it on the tap, yo. On the tap. That's what they say in Alaska. It means like, nailed it. Yeah, it's on tap. What is X and what is Y?

Ask Matt, because he always gets it. that high and dry. It's not bad. It's just better than me. This is giving me a BDS. We used to do freestyle Fridays on my FM. I didn't, but it was like on a hip-hop and R&B station. If you've never listened to mine, I'm sure you have.

But it was the cringiest thing because you get two listeners and you do exactly this and you'd leave them freestyle rap, but it was just always a train wreck. There was never a win. And eventually the boss was like, yeah, that freestyle Friday bit's done. I was like, thank God. Until now, when Clint brings it back, Okay, your turn, Clinty. Okay.

Your topic is renovations. Okay. Your character is Bartholomew. And the location is South Auckland. Oh, good. Good. Okay, Bartholomew, South Auckland, renovations. Here he goes.

He's done it before. I bought her a shira needed to get renovations Dad said do it today you need more dedication Don't laugh, you've been it off But he said does do that Had lots of money, thought I'd chuck in a shower And said Can you go on?

Okay, hold on I get here on I just got to come round to the After the machine gun He's got a machine guns in this one. Is that a book? Okay. Okay.

Is that too much thinking time? I went to the place where they sell all the bathroom stuff. The guys said, what do you need? I said, I don't know. He's a he's out. He's out. He's out. He said, who should I make the booking for?

I said, Bartholomew. He said, how many bath do you want? One or two. One or two. I think you would have decided of when you've got to punnings if you wanted one bathroom or two? I don't know. Give me one more turn.

One more, one more, one. I think I can do better. I'm disappointed in my one. Okay. Your theme is the... Your theme... I reckon once we give it to you, you've got ten seconds to listen to the track to come up with some one.

Well, it's fucking easy for you to say. No, I mean, because otherwise it's just always a track. Public transport? Public transport. The girl's name is Barbie. Barbie. And the location is... New York City.

Okay. Hit the jams. Okay. Fuck. I got on the bus with a friend called Gus. Barbie was on there. She was a huss. Got up on her grill.

I said, hey, but I'm going to fuck my ass. You can't tell her to do that. The first, the worst was so good. Keep it going, because Kling got another guy. What was my other word? You had Barbie. In New York City. New York City.

New York City. Feeling real shitty. Up in the bus with Mamikas. Along came to a girl. No. Okay. Along comes a girl. She made me hearty.

Her name was Barbie. We went and... He got surviving wrong. Saki. Okay. Give you go. He can't let it. Hey, Fiddy Centress doesn't come out with his fucking stuff straight away.

Don't be a wuss. Suck on my foot. Okay. You're done. You're done. Sorry, that you're on. No, poise going to play. It's now on the floor of the studio hiding.

Oh, God. Okay. All right. Oh, my girl. Oh, my guy. Yes, that's fun. Oh, it's good. Okay.

I hit me, what's my, what's my theme? Okay. Can the person be like a ventriloquist? Oh, that's too hard. Too hard. You're a surgeon. Okay, yep. So you're in a hospital.

The location's hospital, surgeon. Your name is... Jasmine? Jasmine. It feels like they could rhyme with a lot of stuff. And... There's been an accident. Obviously, it's a hospital, so we're not going to...

Someone's bleeding out. Okay Jasmine, she can be the Brisbane, she can be the nurse She's giving me a whole story here already Yeah, okay I'm just giving you a time to think of what rides with what Before you're gonna make it easy for you

Just remember Worst rhymes with boys I'm working in a hospital sucking on a popsicle My name is Jasmine I hope And she's Tasman I cut people open

And maybe their fallopian tubes I'm an obstetric It's what I do, y'all. I'm done. You were done before you were done. Come on. Who else? What are the rapper can run Philopian tunes?

I mean, that's a skill. I imagine you Bartholome, you're in one bath or two and a renovation story. I took about 40 minutes to get there, though. Okay. We won't be doing that ever again, but thanks then. I like Wilson Puss. My favourite.

Totally unrelated to the story whatsoever. Yeah. See your next time. Rover. Music, radio, podcasts.