The Edge Breakfast - OVERTHINKERS butt spasms

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

We completely lost the plot today. We started talking about a magical button that gives you cash but makes someone stub their toe, and somehow it devolved into whether Dan would soil himself daily for a hundred grand. You won't believe the diabolical nappy prank Producer Carl cooked up for him!

This is a podcast from Rover. What did you say? I said no one respects what Clint has to say. This is the Overthinkers podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Clint McGaddenial hosts. Just finished our radio show. And so jumping into this one.

Got a special guest is going to be joining us in a few seconds or minutes. Yeah, that'll be cool to actually speak to this man. An incredible man. Yeah. You don't know his name, dear. Yes, I do. I do. His name is John Miles.

What is that now? John Miles. And what does he do? What has he done? He's written a book about procrastination and overthinking things. And that's the name of this podcast, the overthinker's podcast. Well, without further ado, Hey, John. John Miles, morning.

Hello. You're talking about your short book saying, you know the type, going to start the business, going to change jobs, going to give it a crack, and then they do nothing. Yeah. Why is that? On my whole decision process, the last question that I ask is, what's the best thing that can happen and what's the worst thing that can happen.

And often the worst thing that can happen is actually quite tolerable. It's not that bad. Then you've got to ask yourself, can I actually make this interesting and fun? Then say, hey, is this idea different? And then I have a chapter which I call, does it make me hot?

And that's about, well, can I be enthusiastic and passionate about what I'm doing? So, John, the title of your book is sod it, just do it. I remember a celebrity, I can't remember specifically, but I remember a celebrity said when you're thinking about doing some of you're procrastinating what they do, I can't remember if it was five

or ten, but they just count to whatever that number is, maybe it's five, and as soon as they get to five, they get up and they just go and do it. So they go, I'm going to go talk to my boss about whatever, I'm going to ask for a pay rise, then they just go five, four, three, two, and then it's almost like you turn your brain off,

like you're about to bungee jump, and you don't want to overthink it, and then you just do the thing. Is that good advice in your opinion or not? I'd follow my process first. What would you say to a person that I know, John, that has been in radio for a while now, has been sort of mediocre at it for many, many years, but has always had the dream, has always had the dream of moving to Wyoming and owning his own ranch. He has nothing, like no experience in ranching or rearing animals or anything.

But he's watched Yellowstone a lot. He loves Yellowstone. He loves Yellowstone. also is kind of naturally talented at doing everything anyway. But not radio. He's never really nailed that as he me. Anyway, or moonwalking. Anyway, so what would you say to him? Would you throw on the towel and

go and chase your Wyoming dream or would you stick at your media job? I couldn't answer that. I would take him through this process. Yeah, and I think does it sound hot? Is it fun? Yes, yes. I don't think he said does it sound hot ever? I don't think he said, there you've got a

little sexy doing it. Does it make me hot? I don't think that's part of John's process. Does it make me hot? Yeah. Hey, go for it. You know, you only live once. That is true. John Miles, the book is Sotit.

Just Do It if you're an overthinker or a procrastinator. Thanks for your time, John. All the best with the books sales. Oh, look, thank you very much for interviewing me. I really appreciate it. Oh, thanks, John. We procrastinated for a while and then we went through with it. Yeah, yeah.

See, right. Thanks, John. I go, bye. You got mail. We got mail from Bex. Thank you, Bex, for sending this through. she said that she is excited to hear our responses to this one and she wants us to overthink it.

She found this, I think, on Reddit. Here we go. And who did she most likely wanting to hear overthinking it? Dad. Oh, have you seen the message? Yeah, yeah. She said I'd most likely want to hear Dan Stairs. Okay, right.

Oh, you're welcome. You're offered a button, and every time you press the button, you get $10,000. Love it already. Instantly in your banking count. Sounds like a great button, doesn't that clip. but someone you have met could be just passing or it could be a good friend or it could be a family member

you don't get to choose stubs their toe extremely hard every time you do it oh good the toe stubbing is brutal hopping around the room tears in your eyes contemplating your choices kind of pain but it is temporary and non-lethal but it hurts like how

stubbing the toe you'll never know who it hits only that you've met them could be a cashier a classmate your cousin Easy. How rich are you willing to get? I'm probably richer than Elon. Of course.

The percentage of people you've met, this is the percentage of people that you're related to and friends with. And even then, you can get Bevan to stubbers for 10K. Yeah, true. You know what? I do a deal with Meg,

where I'd tell her about the button and I've nominated her. You can't nominate me. But then I'd say every time I press it, you get 2K. And so every time I'd see her stuff, I press it. Oh, I'd be so rich.

And then she's stubborn her tone. She'd go, ow! And I'd be like, remember you're getting 2K of that? And she'd go, oh, my gay. You're right, even if it was my mum. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? I'll never know you did it as well.

I'd just be sitting there going. Press, press, pretty. Oh, why are you wanking? He loves money. Honestly, my rotated cuff would be fucked in an hour. Yeah. Yeah, so you're just going your endless amounts of cash. Yeah.

You just can't, there is no limit. I do it until the button broke. Wow. No limit. A poor person's toe, imagine. Like it'd be no toe. No, no, it changes every time. Every time.

It changes every single time. Oh, I thought it was the same person. No, no. Any person that you've met in your entire life from birth to now. Oh, and you can't choose. You don't get to choose. You don't know who it is. Of course I'd do it.

Who wouldn't? What sort of like beautifully lovely person would just not want that? Knowing they're hurting someone in the universe so they can't push it. That's a different breed to me. Yeah, especially when it is a stub toe. If it was something more serious. Okay, can I adapt the question a little bit? Okay.

There's a button, Clint. Every time you press it, you get 50K. So I've up the stakes here. You get 50K every time you press it. You can press it whenever you want. But you know that every time you press it, your gorgeous, beautiful friend Meg. Me?

Gets a fucking horrible stabbing pain in her butthole. And her butthole makes it funnier. Okay. Like, so it's like a butt spasm where she goes, like, you fuck. What? Okay, yeah. and save them for work

so I get to witness it he's pressing it more now he's literally preced it more that doesn't shut him to press in it he's like I don't even care about the 50K I just want to see her in that fuck place there'd be some days if I'm like oh Meg's having a rough day

or she's dealing with some stuff you just do it once I'd go easy yeah just one time it'd make me to take her mind off the noise but she was having a great day and then it'd be cracking last up and you'd have no idea why her ass on keeps like twitching okay so the same question

you get a hundred grand. A hundred grand, okay. Every time you press it. Yeah, and what happens? I soil myself. Dan, there is no limit. The limit does not exist. You will be wearing brown.

It's mean. It's mean, man. You're like, don't give him a fuck. Fuck off. I get a stabbing pain in my asshole. You couldn't give two shits. He's just shitting himself. What if he's out of a client thing?

What about me if I've got my fucking ass on fire? Presser me. Presser me. Press her clear. Ow! Oh! Oh! Who'd be more than that?

Yeah, no, Dan, there's limit does not exist. Keep used to nappies. Just that's it. Produce it. Do you know what I'd do? If I had the Dan shoot himself button, for a whole week, I'd do it at exactly the same time every day,

so he's into this false sense of security. He's like, I know it's coming. I've got my nappia on. I'm ready to go. And then the following day, I just do it at a random time. He'd be like, holy shit, it's almost 1034. It's almost 1034.

So for like a four, for a week or so, you keep it the same day. So I get into a routine. Routine. I've got this sorted. I'm just sitting on a toilet and make every time. And then one day I'm at a meeting for another job or something in a job interview. That's happened.

God, how many days would you have to soil yourself on the minute every day before you went to the doctor? Three. I think I'd do two days. I would be uncanny after the second. If I shat myself first day, I go, fuck that's very unlike me because I've never shat myself. Day two, the day after and it happens again. I'd go, something's not right here. Day three, you're definitely, day day.

And day three, I'd call an ambulance. No, I reckon, I didn't need to be like. Imagine this phone call. Hello, emergency services. How can I help you? What's your emergency? Sorry. But we hang up, it's day three of the same time every day.

Day three. Sounds like a fucked up game at your Munchy. I'm sorry, sir. Did you say that you'd shit yourself? No one believes. you. I promise you every day at the same time. Yeah, it's been the same time every day. They'll be like, well, that is odd.

Just taking notes. All right. She's still in character. I'm still in character method. She's the dispatch of Pits person. Okay. Okay. Well, date three, easily. Yeah, I've also been shooting myself at the same time every day, but it's been

happening for two weeks now. Takes me more seriously, see? Oh, yeah. Because I didn't rush. I didn't rush. There's an emergency. Sirs, I don't, do you live together, or are you a couple? I don't know him. crazy on the line there.

This just happened to both of us and we don't know why, but our mate Meg's getting fucking rich in the last two weeks. Every time I shit myself, she presses a button. Maybe I need the police. Right. I would say therapy. That's probably more likely.

I would honestly, it would have to happen for like two weeks at the same time before I do it. There's no way I'm embarrassing myself going to the GP being like, I poop myself four times. It'd have to be like an nominally. But you could get it fixed after 30 days. if you're not a loser. Yeah, exactly.

If you went there and you say yourself 15 to 20 times in the last week, that's more embarrassing. I don't know if they can fix it though. But you at least have a shot at getting it fixed. What if she just goes, oh, mate, you've got a bit of gastro and you're just not getting to the bathroom time.

Like, stop being a child. You know what I'd do? Meg, if I had the button, Clint goes, I'm going to go to the doctor. Today, I've been shooting myself for the last week. I know I've got the button. I'd follow him to the doctor. Look in the window.

And when the doctor starts examining his puddle, I'd breathe. Daniel, no doctor goes right. You've had gastro turnover. Let me see your ass. I'm doing that, bro. Getting a new doctor. Get a new doctor in all honesty.

If your doctor says, pull your pants down, buddy. Can I see your anus? To be fair, I did go to the doctor the other day for her nasal infection and she just looked at my butt off. She didn't. She didn't. Sorry, I can leave you to it now. You probably got better things.

Overthinkers I never know what to believe is true with that Of course it's not true Did you have your hand up a sheep's ass? Yes, I did, I helped deliver a baby A lamb A lamb Many years ago

It would have been Probably early Early 2000s And I was living on a farm And my friend Mark Who owned the farm Had he was delivering a sheep Why did you go

Can I ever go Can I? Can I say you want to feel the head of the sheep because it was... Did he give you a long glove that went up to your shoulder? It was like this long glove and I remember putting it up and it was so warm and disgusting and he was like, can you feel something hard?

And I was like, yeah, and he's like, that's the sheep's... Yeah, yeah, they're doing funny because that's his prostate. No, this sheep over here is actually... Here's a little lesson for you. Female sheep don't have a prostate, mate. Anyway... That's what I mean. You had your hand up the ram's asses for shits and gigs.

Yeah. So when he said, do you want to put your hand up its ass? How long did you think about your decision before you put a glove on? No for me. I was a bit like, I was a bit sort of like, oh no. And I think my mum was there and she said, go on. Go on. Give it a go.

Like, because she was, you know, trying to encourage the, the, you know, like learning about animals and stuff. Right. And I remember she was. I know a lot about animals that didn't involve putting my hand up one ass. Well, you know, it was like on the farm, you've got the opportunity. I think if you've got the opportunity, to strip your hand up and ass, you're doing it?

Is this still, sorry, is this still part of the... Consul? Why are you still here? No, but I think, you know, like, if all the factors are there, you've got the professional, you've got the sheet, no, you've got the glove. No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, okay, did he have two gloves,

or did he take the glove off and then you used the reuse the gloves? I think they were just like reusable plastic things. Like you had a box of them. He had a box of them. Yeah, right, right, yeah. And I think, yeah, it's very vague, but I do remember. Was the baby lamb, was the lamb all good? I can't remember. I assume so.

Although I have been told a story, my wife Hannah. Can I tell you the story? Of course you can, mate. She wanted to be a vet when she was younger. Meg, you're not going to like this. Okay. Why are we still doing this podcast? Squeamish.

And she was with a vet person that would specialise in equine and, like, farm animals. And so she'd go to a lot of deliveries of, like, horses, cows, sheep. And there was this one that had been pregnant for a long time. And the... I can't say. Well, you've kind of told the whole story. So the vet, Hannah witnessed this. I've had to be all that, Meg.

Oh, fuck. And we have to cut this one again? Do we? That's a real life story. That's real life. I'm surprised the mum survived it. I don't know if she did. I don't know.

It was a horrible. I think the mum died. There's a cow. I mean, that's the thing. That's the sad thing in the animal world. just, you know, not, sometimes the story doesn't have a happy ending, sometimes. You know, you've got, I think, life. Yeah, happy endings are the best.

I think they are, but sometimes you know what, you can't have a happy ending. So, you know, look at Bambi, for instance, her mother fucking passed away, didn't she? Sad story, but it's one of the most famous stories. Look at, you know. Mrs. Doutfire. Mrs. Doutfire. She, arguably, um. Well, they didn't get back to, they used to, You know, the whole movie.

The whole movie you go, oh, they'll get back together at the end. She'll realize that she's not Mrs. Doubtfire, and it's the guy. And he can be better. And he can be better. And then they couldn't work that out because he ended up still seeing his kids

every now and then, no longer supervised, but he still had to be the old lady to make money. Cool running. Another one. You know, you think they're going to win it. They're not at fucking... They were on record pace when their bloody fucking bob seed

ended up crapping out and they dragged their heads all along the ice. And sometimes you just... have to pull