The Edge Breakfast - OVERTHINKERS - who's running mars?

Episode Date: July 5, 2026

On this Overthinkers Podcast episode, Meg and Dan chat with Calum Payne about personal “rebrands,” including Calum becoming “Cal” and Megan becoming “Meg,” before revisiting a past hypothetical: choosing three celebrities to help start a new society on Mars. Cal’s picks spiral from considering Obama to choosing Elon Musk, plus Meg and Guy, prompting jokes about leadership, survival skills, and reproduction. Meg revises her own Mars team to Handy Andy (Andy Kane), Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Michelle Obama. Dan rebuilds his list around Hailey Bieber, Barack Obama, and Zendaya, debating leadership, building, and entertainment.

This is a podcast from Rover. The Overthinkers podcast. Oh, good morning. No Clint today. Megan Mia here. And Cal. I'm here too. Callum Payne. The guy that voiced that intro.

You know, Cal Payne is the coolest name in it. Yeah. I remember when I had my rebrand. It was when I was a builder right before I started my radio journey. And this guy, Sam, on the side, he used to always call me Cal. It was the first time anyone had ever called me Cal before. Well, you always call him? Always call them.

Even like my OG, like Auckland mates, my high school mates, they'll always call me Callum. And to me, it's weird now because no one in my life. It was just convenient that I was on the building site, I changed my Facebook name to Cal. And then that following year, I moved to Christchurch to, you know, go study and everything. And I just locked in Cal and then I moved here. So it was a conscious decision by yourself to rebrand.

It wasn't like a self-given rebrand. No. Interesting. A couple people started calling me. Like on the work site, everyone was calling me cow. and then I was like, I just like that. I'm going to make sure that everyone knows me as that. So when I introduce myself to new people, it's always cow.

I quite like being called Megan, which is like the opposite. But guy hates it. He can't call me Megan. He knows me as Meg now. And that was a rebrand for my boss. I was always Megan and now I'm Meg. The only rebranded I've ever had is when I started college when I was like, year nine. And I rebranded from Dan to little pussy loser.

And that just stuck. And that start for about, yeah. It fits. You know, it makes sense. Yeah. And I'd turn around them. Be like, there's that fucking. pussy, gay loser.

Well, that's the thing. That's, um, when when you turn around, it kind of adds to it. It does, yeah. When you start answering to your captors. You know, like if somebody yelled out, hey, who's that sexy man? Would you turn around?

Clint, someone's calling you. Oh, that's shame. You can't talk about that anymore. I'll call your mum and I'll tell her. I know, my mum messaged me the other day, Cal, because I said that I was ugly on here and she said, stop calling yourself ugly. You're not ugly, Dan. No, I know, I'm not ugly. He's not ugly. He's not ugly.

No, I'm not ugly. As he just picks his nose. that was quite ugly. It's an ugly thing to do. I've got an idea for today's show because Cal, we've done this before, Meg and I with Clint, but we've never done it with you. And it always says, I think, a lot about someone.

Oh, no. Their answer. And I thought that maybe Meg and I could revisit our answers and maybe change what we said about it. Okay. This is one of my favorite podcast or Overtinkers episodes we've ever done. Here's the story.

No, don't be nervous. It's actually really good. Okay. your tasked was starting a new society on Mars. Oh, God, that's... Okay. So, take for instance, you are now the boss of Mars. Maybe there's been some sort of issue that's happened on Earth,

and they go, Cal Payne is the guy we're going to send up to Mars to start a new society. I've always wanted to be a dictator as well. Yeah. And so you go... Interesting you say that, because you don't have to be a dictator. Yeah, it's... Oh, sorry. I thought it was like, I'm ruling it. No.

So you were allowed to take three famous people with you to Mars to start this society. So technically you could take like a good leader to be the leader if you wanted. So you could sit back and do something. Who are the three other people you're taking with you on the ship to start a brand new life on Mars? I'm thinking about everything that you need to start new life. Yeah. Now genuinely think about it because you need obviously law and order. Yeah.

You need a leader obviously. Maybe that's you. you need a builder because you need to build buildings. All right. And away you go. This is really hard, actually. And just remember they have to be celebrities because that makes it easier. Because people don't know anyone else.

Okay. I think that I would, well, I would be the leader. And I could be the builder as well. You could be the leader and the builder. Okay. Next person. You're going to be busy. Nightmare.

Oh, yeah, I wouldn't want to be the builder as well. Okay. Oh, God. No, I feel like these people I would want with me, but I don't think they're the people that would actually help, you know, create a civilization over there. You know who I think would be actually really good?

Obama. He's probably the leader then, darling. So you're just the building now. No, he's the guy to, no. Oh my God, so he's bringing Obama along. And he's going to, don't worry, Bella. I've got this. I'll be the leader.

What's Obama fucking doing? No, okay, he's not going to be there. Okay, so he's gone. Oh God, so he's, no, he's gone, okay. She's going to actually know I want to be the leader. Piss off. No, she's now done. Okay, everyone's going to find this, like, really shit that I say this.

Wait, is Obama coming in or not? No, no, he's not invited anymore. I take it back. He's been kicked off. I'm going to say Elon Musk. Not because he's a good person at all or anything, but I just think he would know what to do. In quite a few aspects of that.

Yeah, but the wrong things. Yeah, but I'm the leader. Okay, so he pisses me off. Hanged, done, gone. But that's not how he works now anyway. Like, he isn't the leader, but he can still control things. I would be in charge of the money because I'm also the banker. So he's the brains.

He's the brains of the operation. So he's making Tesla's up in the moon. Where are we? He hasn't even got roads yet. Are we on the moon? No, we're going to Mars. Right. Okay, so you've got Elon Musk in you so far.

I don't want to come and visit your planet. So he's got two more. First of all, he's got a guy that makes space rockets and Tesla's. Two things that you're not going to need starting a society. I feel like generally he would understand how things work. Right? So that's a shocking one. You're going to be absolutely kicked out of the leadership role with him there.

But carry on. No, no, because I'm the leader. Okay, two more people. Do we already have security and police and stuff? You're going to need it with Elon Musk. Oh, shit. Okay. Two more.

Two more. I would bring Meg. Which means poor Meg is going to have to make with Elon Musk or you. I'm fucking having me to Elon's baby, your baby. Oh, fuck. But I do but cute kids, there's no denying. Cute kids.

But you said you shut up, shop down there. Yeah, well, I mean, Cal's employed me. I'm going to have to be like, Cal, I want to stay back with my own family, but you've got to make me have sex with Elon. Okay, Megan Guy. Both of us. Both of us. Oh, my God.

What a nightmare. So it's Cal, Megan Guy and Elon Musk. We're dead. Honestly, someone's going to kill themselves up there. I couldn't deal with it. I think that's a really hard question. I don't think anyone's going to be able to actually... Okay, do you want to revisit yours, me?

Yeah, I can't remember who I had. I think I brought Neil, that very smart guy. Oh, Neil. You know Neil? Neil Degrassi Tyson. Thank you. Neil degrassi Tyson. He's here.

He's the brands in my situation. And then I brought Kristen Stewart, I think, to have all the babies. But she's gay. Maybe I'll take her out. She's leaving her. ways. Who's somebody who's very fertile? Millie Alderheim.

So what's her name? Millie. Millie Alderholm? No, no. Paul Holmes's like, God, I didn't mean that. Paul Holmes's daughter. No, I definitely do you know. I mean, Millie. Who's the other Millie? Who's her name? Billy Brown. Yes, Bobby Brown. Oh God, Paul. Millie Alder Holmes.

What a nightmare. I'll leave her alone. She can, she doesn't have to like, come to my planet. She's like, what? What the fuck am I doing here? No, I'll go Millie Bobby Brown because she seems like a lovely girl. She is young. ready to have babies.

I love how you've gone, who's fertile, and you've gone straight to first Millie Outer Homes, and then Millie Bobby Brown, who adopted her daughter? She's lovely with animals. Did she, I thought she had a baby. She adopted. Oh, fuck. Well, I don't know why.

She might still be fertile. Who knows? Okay, and who else am I going to have there? So I've got the smarts. I need somebody who's really good with their hands. Me. Who's a famous builder? Michelangelo.

That guy, Wolf, from, um, from that show, the block. He was like the wolf gang. Oh, Handy Andy. I'm going to take Handy Andy. He was from...

What the fuck is Handy Andy? He was from my favorite housemaker of a show. Swapping living spaces or swapping lives. He's probably dead. Andy Andy is still fucking alive. Don't say it. Handy Andy knew how to do everything. His phone rings and goes,

God, this isn't rung in a while. This hasn't rung since changing rooms. Changing rooms. It was called changing rooms. Do you guys remember that show? The host was always pregnant. Maybe I should have her. Handy, his name is Andy Kane.

There you go. He's coming. He's 60 years old. Well, that's interesting because I remember my group was David Attenborough. Because I knew that he would be great. He knows everything. And then I brought Helen Clark, because she's a great leader. She was having all the babies.

But then she was the only woman. So it was an nightmare. Yeah, yeah. So I think I'm going to readjust. So I've got Handy Andy. Yeah. Neil de Grassy Tyson And then I'm not

I'm going to leave Millie out of it She can stay back with their family I'm going to get a smart woman Michelle Obama Okay And that's a good A bit of change of culture So it's either

You're going to still be making the babies You realise that Okay Yeah that's fine And you've got a choice between Neil degrassy Tyson Or Handy Andy

Handy Andy Are you going with there You know I have to do a bit of both I think To like really make a bit of Cultural diversity Yeah

So yeah I'm actually quite happy with that I think Michelle will be a fantastic leader Okay. It's nice to have a woman with me. Yeah. I would go. This is so hard. So I need to change mine because I didn't think about the re-percussions.

Reducions. And so that is why I would bring Hannah, my wife. That's a good idea. And even though she's not famous, I would know. No, no, no. You can't take it. Your literal rules is like they have to be famous. Otherwise, I would have broken my husband.

Well, she's Dan Webbie's wife. I, okay, I would go then. It's nice of your bring her, though. If we need to take someone famous. But it was your rule. Hmm. I need someone, you're right, Meg, you need someone with youth so that they have a few years of baby making

in front of them. Oh, I need to be a woman. But you also want somebody like... Haley Bieber. Oh, that's a good one. Haley Bieber, because I know that she can have a baby. And so I, and so it'd be me and Haley Beba. So it's her only role.

You're happy the babies with her. Yeah, is that your only role, her only role is just to have babies. She's just a baby making bakery. No, and she could be in charge of... What? What? Makeup. What?

Make up. Why don't you get somebody smart and young that could have babies like Greta van der Van der Berg or whatever her name is? I'm not making love to Greta Thunberg. Yeah. Or Greta van der Van derrug. I don't even know who that is. I don't know where all these names are coming from. So Greta Thunberg's not coming.

Are you sure? She'd be a nightmare. But she's a smart young woman. Is she though? I feel like she just winges. Oh, dad. Okay. So I'm bringing Haley Bieber.

Right. Me? So that's reproducing sorted. So that's breeding. Okay. So we're breeding. We're all done. We've still got two spaces.

Yeah. I know Barack Obama's feeling a little bit shaded because he was on your ship and then dropped off, bringing him. So Barack's coming along. So it's me, Barack Obama. Yeah, Haley Bieber. One more. And one more.

What would you need? I reckon Barack would be good with his hands. I think between Barack and I, I think between Barack and I, we could muddle our way through building some shanties. He was a handyman before he went into, was he? I made that up, but I feel like I could see it.

I reckon him and I, we could do some training. before we leave on earth and we'd be able to build so that's sort of. So get another woman. Haley needs a friend. Celine Dion. No. Why? It's going to be entertainment, I guess. What is Celine going to do?

I think she's a good motherly figure. She's very like, you know, she's very nurturing. She's also a great... Is she? Oh yeah, she's ill. She'll get all stiff up there. She's got stiff person syndrome. No, I won't have her.

Is that what's called? Stiff person syndrome? Is that so happening? Is she okay now? Because I do love her. Yeah, and I need youth. I think Barack's too old as it is I think he's in his 60s

So you want someone really young Okay Jack Tame Too old I think I need someone young Like really young Well not really young Not really young

It's come to Kardashian's daughter's name Kylie North West She's 13 What you do with her I don't know She's coming along No

Like no I'm just meaning for Leadership Is she a good leader? No Okay Who's a good leader That's young That's a good

Young leader, good young leader. I'm just thinking of young... Oh, she'd be good, how it's. Zendaya! Zendaya! Yes. And I'm not only can say a bad word about Zendaya. And I've got a great choice between Zendaya and Haley Bieber to reproduce.

She's obviously smart and talented. No, just for breeding. Honestly, nightmare. Nightmare. No. Okay, it's going to have to be Zendaya. I think she'd be a good leader. She's fantastic.

Yeah, because I don't want to be doing the leading, especially of Barack and I are doing all the building. Barak should be the letter Oh true but he's doing building Yeah Anyway there's my three Multiple jobs Yeah

Yeah well done Cal I think yours was still the worst Yeah Me I can't remember what I said It's hard though Elon Mask and me and guy Yeah that's right

Elon Musk and Guy That's all I do Yeah I said famous people remember Yeah famous is Oh what happens is at the end of the podcast Yes Everyone just stopped talking and standing Okay bye everybody

No I think you can play an outro Oh here we go I got Unrelatable bed Overthinkers sting Gets the fart Quirky unusual Just play something And get it out of this fucking mess

Okay maybe this one Rover Music Radio Podcasts