The Edge Breakfast - OVERTHINKERS would you change your life for a simulation...?

Episode Date: April 19, 2026

We’re spiralling today as we weigh up the ultimate choice: would you ditch your mediocre reality to live in a "Think Tank" simulation of your perfect life? Dan’s already sold, but it might be because he’s still reeling from the time he accidentally lied to a 15-year-old on GTA. Plus, Meg gets weirdly specific about her dream body—and her husband's—while Clint prepares to take over the Premier League as "Jackson Pump." You’re not ready for where this one ends up. 00:45 – Dan’s accidental "catfish" story involving a 15-year-old and GTA.   02:30 – The "Think Tank" Dilemma: Real life vs. a perfect simulation.   05:15 – Meg’s dream life: Mystery, painting, and Guy’s "size" adjustment.   08:10 – The "Escargot" nipple debate.   09:45 – Clint’s transformation into "Jackson Pump," the Premier League's biggest star.   12:20 – Why the simulation might be better than actual reality.

This is a podcast from Rover. This is the Overthinkers podcast. Welcome, welcome. Are you watching this or just listening to it? I forget if you watch it. I hate it. I must be on it. I just, I always forget and then I'll remember him to go, that's right,

because I'll look at Dan picking his nose. I go, that's filmed. Oh, I was going to say you look gorgeous today, but you look like a binger. Oh my God, I tell you what. I tell you what, I felt proper ugly today. So thank you, Dan. That's very nice.

You look gorgeous. No, hold on. but you said I was picking my nose. So honestly, you look like a dog. Pretty dog, though. Yeah, one of those little becheon fraces. Yeah, yeah. It's just come out of the groomers.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you know what, that new fresh dog smell when they've just been shampooed, lovely smell. Wash my dog yesterday. Not a euphemism. Oh, what is it wrong with you? Jesus, clucky now. Sorry, I'm a sex addict.

I need my bell bat to go ding every time Clint says something sexual. No one's ever called that a dog. I've never ever called my... What a horrific thing to call a vagina a dog. I need to behave. Even over the weekend, someone said something and I went, that's what she said. And it was a good one. I can't remember it. It was like, it was a good one.

And my daughter goes, why is that funny? And I was like, what? And she goes, I hear you and other people say that's what she said, but I don't know why it's funny. And I made something up on the spot. She goes, no. You wouldn't find that that funny. You're lying. It's an adult thing. Did you tell her not to call me? She was meant to call me on Saturday night.

Oh, she stayed at my mum's. Oh, okay, too cool. No, she wouldn't have had a switch. Okay. Yeah, because her and Meg play Animal Crossing. You're a bit too old to be playing with young kids, Meg, like doing stuff online with young children. Oh, says Dan, if you're new to the podcast, welcome, ended up lying to a kid online about his age because he didn't want him to stop playing with him.

Online, no, no, no, who won't go, oh, playing with me on Fortnite. No, you weren't play for it? You weren't playing for it? It was a mix of it. suppose. In fact, it was rally games, Fortnite and a bit of GTO. So he was 15, and then he asked how old Dan was, and Dan said 18?

You can't lie to children about your age. Because if I'd gone, I'm 34, then he would have gone, what the fuck, bro? Yes, because, and he should have. That would have been a safe thing for him to do. We got it so well. We've been gone, by the way. Tell the judge, mate.

I cut it off after you guys. When I say cut it off, it's not like we're in a relationship. But, I mean, I just stopped seeing him. Fuck! You can't win. You can't win. Overthinkers. Even though we're still here,

and we went nowhere, and we made no edits. I just felt like it. You're very good with that, Clint. It's good to, it kind of moves us along. Isn't it funny, though, because I... Oh, we're back in it.

No, I was just going to say... Get ready to hit it again, Glit. I'd never seen a photo of him. I'd only ever spoken to him online. We'd gone so well, genuinely. And he sounded older than he was. And then when he said he was... I think he said he was 16 from memory.

and I remember thinking, I was almost like gutted. I was like, oh, fuck. Play it again. Today on the Overtinkers podcast. We're overthinking. I'm going to question. Fuck.

Okay. Have you made friends with a kid? Today on the Overtinkers podcast. We're overthinking. Right. Here's a question. Now, that's, apparently, I'm only going to do one today, but there's the top five most interesting philosophical

questions to ask a friend group. Oh, fun. And I'm only going to do one. This is the one that sort of stood out to me. Now, let's assume that we're all still single and don't have families. No, no mom, no dad, no siblings. No, you get dad and stuff, but just kids.

Let's just assume you're in a single with no kids. Okay, single no kids. Okay. I remember those days. You were given an option. You can go into a tank. Okay, so it's a perfect. simulation of a life.

So say, for instance, I'm living a mediocre life. I'm, you know, I'm doing this radio show. It's not rating. You've got a partner. I'm working with a couple of people that, you know, they're okay. But I'm wanting a lot. I want to be a Formula One driver.

Right, got it. So Meg, what's your dream? This is my dream. Oh, truly. Okay, so then you don't need the tank. So this is perfect. Okay. Wait, are we talking about like a tank, like an aquarium or a tank like a...

So you'll basically put into this think tank where you're... Think tank, right. Think of like strange things when 11 goes into that thing and shit, they put a thing on her head. So your body, your physical body isn't a tank, okay? But your brain

is transported to your perfect life. So you can go into this place, this office and they go, right, what's your perfect life, Meg? And you go, I want to be a billionaire, right? Okay. I'm not saying this is what you want, but I want to be the world's best craft woman. A bit more likely. Yeah, yeah.

I want to be the best of life. felting in the world. And the person goes, fuck, I haven't got that feature. You want to be married to Guy, but you just want them to be a little bit hotter and have a bigger dick. Not possible.

Perfect. Not possible. And so then they go, right, Mick, that's perfect. We've put that into the system. Help into the tank. You will then wake up, not knowing that you're in the tank,

and you will be living your perfect life. I can see why this would be very tempting for a lot of people. It's similar to, have you seen, spoiler. The last of us. Don't worry, darling. Spoiler.

Oh, no, but then the last of us, is very similar as well. There's that scene. And what's the girl's name? Ellie? Yeah. And she walks around. Isn't her dad wearing this helmet?

And he's literally pretending he's doing like another life. And she's walking around and he's fucking useless. Oh, well, we're thinking about different movies. You've mixed up TV shows. So the one that you're thinking about is when their fungus grows into zombies and kills people at the end of the world. That's what you've just talked about. Well, what movie is it? It doesn't matter.

No, but they literally are sitting there. I mean, it gets very blackmail-ish. But they're sitting there and they just put a helmet on and they're transported like Dan says to a world that they believe is real but it's fake and their body's just sitting there rotting away. I'm sure someone will say on the other thing because of podcast fan. But yeah, don't worry

darling is what happened where Harry Stiles when Anne put his wife without her knowing into a think tank vibes and had this perfect life and she was angry because he was like, look you had a shitty life like it was in a crappy flat we're always exhausted and she was like yeah but it was

my life. It was my life that you took from me. You don't get to do that. So that's the question which I think this is posing. Would you happily have a synthetic fake life over a mediocre real life? And here's my answer. Ten years ago I would have. Yeah. I hadn't

met Hannah. I was a little bit sort of in a job that I didn't really enjoy. It was groundhog day. And if someone had come up to me then and gone, you know what, we'll put you in this tank, you won't know you're doing it, but you're living your perfect life. Fuck, give it to me now. But I tell you what, Dan, And what's funny about that is that 10 years ago

you would have said yes, but you would never have then met Henry George. And look at that as a lesson. And that is a lesson. Because I wouldn't change it for the world now. And even if there is some bad things going on in your life, who doesn't have bad things going on in their life? But if you don't know that it's fake and it becomes your new reality, then what are you don't care about?

Then who cares? I mean, I've seen the movies where obviously it's a terrible thing when you're watching it from the outside. But if I'm never going to wake up in 10 years and then it's over and I'm like, oh shit, that was fake. I was just in the long dream. Well, then of course you go for it because you're living your dream life

and you know no difference so it becomes your reality. Wouldn't you go, but you're not physically actually living it. It's just your brain. Yeah, but you don't know that. It's like you're just having a long dream. It's like you go to bed now. If I could say to you, you're just going to go to bed now, Clint.

But you'll dream and it won't end. You wouldn't do that, would you? It's the same thing. Well, yeah, but I could be, by your argument, I could be dreaming right now, living the life I'm living and then I wake up. And I'm like, oh shit, this was all the dream. He thinks that we're his dream life, damn.

He should have been more specific. Whatever you're experiencing right now, if this think tank is as real as I'm living right now, well then it's reality to me, so I don't know any difference. So of course I will choose the professional footballer. So let's assume we've all said yes. With dating Megan Fox.

Yeah. Okay. So let's assume, hold that thought. Let's assume we've all said yes. And we have all, you know, we're all living a mediocre life. We don't have a kids or a partner. And we're all gone into the thing. Meg, I'm the guy.

You sat down at the desk and I go, right, Mick, so you've chosen to do this. What would you like? Be as specific as you can down to like details about what you want in this life and we'll build it into the tank.

I'm programming it now. My whole life I've wanted to be on breakfast radio. Okay, so you're going to be on breakfast radio. Do you want to be on a show like this one or one that rates? Yeah, okay, make it rate. Okay, do you want to be on a show that rates? Make it rate really well so I don't have to have as much pressure of like, shit, we suck.

Even though I love my co-hosts, I'd keep my co-host, by the way, but make them kind of a little more nice to me. Okay, so you want Dan to be, say, stop calling you a useless woman. Yeah, yeah, useless woman. And then you don't want us to say questions like, you'd eat a whole pizza, right? Yeah, so maybe just make them, oh my God, I want my co-hosts, I want my co-host to every day to every day, I'm lucky to work with you. Okay.

I seen that only like a monthly later. Don't you reckon by like the fifth day? You'd be like, okay, man. You say that every day. That's too much. It's like when you're chat, GPT, every time you ask something, goes, that's an amazing question. It's the best question I've ever heard. No, you are.

Shut up. I don't know why he's here in my meeting, but I'm glad you are. Sorry, Clint, your turn will come. Just shut the fuck up. It's quite helpful, actually, because he was great. Mine would be, can Clint talk slightly less? Okay. I've got my same husband.

I wouldn't change guy. But you must change something about him. He doesn't snore. He doesn't snore. Oh my God. Put that in there. Do you want him to be a little bit like muslier or something? No, guy doesn't snore.

I love his body. Big a dick. What? No. Everything about him is great. Smaller of anything, wouldn't you? Smores. When you want it smaller?

Slightly smaller dick, if anything. So you want him to look like he is now? Yes, of course. But with a smaller penis, because it's just, it's too, almost too much. And kids are the same, obviously, like, wouldn't change a thing about them. House, I live, not where I live. I would like a different house, yeah. Okay, how many bedrooms do you want?

Oh, five. I want four bedrooms. Greenie, I've only got two kids. Four bedroom house, and we all get a, like, one's a spare room for, like, ask, but there's also another spare room for people to stay. And it's like, what's like a toilet. Now Meg, I'll stop here because you haven't covered what your personality

wise. Do you still want to get sayings wrong and shit? That's what are you? Are you still like shit? No, I want to be a little more mysterious. Meg said the other day she's like, she wants to be a little bit more mysterious. I like to be one of those girls that's kind of mysterious and I can't talk about it. Like Stevie Nix kind of like what do you mean? Like mysterious. Who's a mysterious woman? I know. Like you look at them and you like

Peter Andre was singing about all the time. Do you want to be like Carmen San Diego or something? A little bit. Like, I want people to go, look at her. I like her, but she's, she, she, I don't know everything about it. And everyone knows everything about me. That sounds sinister. No. Just like, she's that cool girl.

You're like, wow, fuck, she's mysterious. Okay. Okay, so you want, yeah, you'll leave them. Okay, so. Let me just recap. I want to be able to sing. Okay, so you should want to be a radio announcer, not a world-class singer.

Brilliant. So you can't sing. Me the other day, just on the saying stuff, She said, oh, well, there's lots of ways to skin a nut. I was like, no. And I go, there's more than one way to do, and she goes, skin a rat. No.

No. Actually, scrap that. Can I go back? I don't want to do radio anymore. I'll take that. Sorry, I'll just delete that from the system. I want to be a famous painter. I think that would be a really lovely job.

Where you just, if you're talented at it where it's not very hard. I'm not still fucking sending your text daily, am I? Then if she's not on radio. What do I need to be doing that for? Wait, shut up. God, he steals focus. I do want Clint is still said... Okay.

So you're no one like Picasso, but you're like a woman version. No, no, not that famous. Not that famous. I want to be famous enough that I can live off... She's pick-ass-ho. I can live off my paintings and people want them. And I'm not so stressed to be like, I've got to do another fucking painting. Come on me.

They're like, what's the next painting? You're like, I don't want that. I can just do commissions and it comes so easily to me and I just paint them. I'm like, there you go. And they go, it's beautiful. I'll pay $40,000. Okay, so just to recap. You're a famous painter.

Yes. You've got a five-bedroom house. guy's still got a small dick. No, no. You've still got two kids. No, he's got a smaller dick. Smaller dick. Okay.

And your kids are still the same. Do you want to change anything about your kids? No. Okay? Truly. No. So you're not changing anything. So that would be heartbreaking as well

for like 10 years from now this podcast somehow resurfaced and your kids hurt. I never change. And so anything else before you step into the tank, one last time and then we're going in. Yeah. Because you have it really changed. Yes, yes. Give me a badian body. Okay.

I want a fucking fat ass. I want fat ass Tits are the same On the tits are the same I want a Fat ass I want like toned legs Who's body do

Be specific Because I'm gonna give you a fat ass And you're gonna go Jesus not that big Give me a body that you want Eskra Lawrence Eskro Lawrence Eskro

Don't fucking get that wrong I'm putting some random Yeah because I'm looking escrow She's got no ass This is this is I want that sort of bod Bod Okay

Yeah You don't even have her head You don't care about her face I want my face You want your face? Yeah, oh, maybe I could do it. Oh, no, Jessica Beal's body. Yeah, give me Jessica.

She's got no ass at all, has she? Give me Hillary Duff's body. She's got a huge ass. She's changing her body type very quickly. Oh, my God. It's going to be all sorts. You can have all sorts. Okay, so we're giving you Eskgo Biel's body.

No, no. I've got to change the name because you've got to get it wrong. You've got the ass of Jessica Beale and the tits of escrow. No, no, escrow. That's a fucking snail. Escargo. Okay. You've got Escargo tits.

Tiny little snail. I'm just like Atlas. And they're all smart. Biggs get giant nipples. Like the snail's eyes, they go right on. When you touch the nips, they shoot back in. I told you be specific. And I'm like, I look down.

And she leaves a trail wherever she goes. Jesus, I knew he wrote it wrong. I knew he did. I should have told him. Should have gone with Jessica Biel. Yeah. Okay, there you go. She's in the tank.

She's gone. Okay. Clint, we're over to you. Thanks for waiting. Okay. Come through. He's a footballer, looks the same size dick. It's married to Megan Fox.

No. Who's all that? Who's all that? Meg, he was quiet. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, so, I'm off.

So, so, first of all, thanks for coming in. What would you give us your perfect life? I'd like to play striker for

English Premier League team. Okay. Up top. What's your name out of it? Do you want to keep your name as it is or change? No, let's change it. Okay.

Let's change it. What's your name? Mm. Got all day, so. Good. Like, a, what do you reckon? Like a Jackson Pollock? No, I'm the person.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know about last name, but just go with Jackson. Jackson. No last name. You can't be like shea. My last name starts, like P, so then people call me like JP for sure. What about Jackson Hoff? Oh, okay, JP, you want to be JP? Jackson Hoff. Jackson, um, um, Pumple-Nickle. No, fuck off. Jackson, no.

I don't know Pump and nickel written on the back of my football jersey. No, what are he just wants me known as Jackson. He always put the last name on the jersey. I don't want pumping nickel. And pump a nickel to the line. Pumper nickel's gone. Pumper nickel's gone. Oh, but then they, in the crowd, I suppose if that wasn't.

It was a simple question. We'll call you Jackson. Jackson, okay, Jackson's in there. And then when I score, this song would come on in the stand. Okay, Jackson Pump. Oh, shit, Jackson Pump. That's a fucking board star. Okay, so Jackson Pump.

You play for Liverpool, is that right? You're the striker. No, Liverpool, no, no, no. Who are you playing for? Chelsea? Real Madrid. Real Madrid. It's actually a brand new team to the English Premier League.

that I own. So it's a good part of... I've started a new team and I've bought a whole bunch of players because I've got a lot of money. And I'm playing up top. And everyone thinks, well, this guy bought a team

and now he's just giving himself a position but it turns out of fucking awesome and everyone goes, oh, fair play to you. I'm the top goal scorer in the league. Well, we can build into the tank that everybody doesn't question it. They're just like...

No one's going, fuck, this is a little narcissistic. I want everyone to question it and think I've just fucking used a whole bunch of money to get into the EPR and then that turns out I'm the best in the league. Okay, so we can build that in.

So I like the underdog story. So you want people to question it at first, but then your trajectory of your career makes them go, now he is the best. Oh God, I'm getting so excited. I'm like, I'm definitely in. Okay, what's your wife's name? It is Megan.

It is Megan. It is Megan Fox, Santa Jamie. So we're going to, she's done. She's going to be Megan Pump. She'll be pissed off at you. Yeah, Megan Pump. She'll keep her last night. If she plays her cards, right?

And do you have kids or are you single? Um. I mean, like, no kids. No kids. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, Sometimes. His poor family. They're all like just sitting there and he's gone into this tank.

See you later, guys. No, no. Megan's got kids. She does. She's not a great mom though. She doesn't see them that often, but they do come away with us for holidays. Wait, so I'm a stepdad. Let me get this straight.

So let me get this straight. You're going into a tank. You've got another wife, but she still has kids, but they're not your kids. Yeah. So I'm a cool stepdad. Yeah, I'm a cool stepdad. So I still get to be in the kids' lives, but we don't have full-time care of it. But they're not tie and can.

there's some other kids. You know you can have them, right? I have Daisy Miller. Yeah, okay, but I thought I was doing a new life. Oh, yeah, sure, okay. You can do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want. So you want better kids?

No, I'd rather not have Camentire because then I think what would happen is I'd have some sort of a glitch where I'm like, hold on, this feels like deja vu. No, you would start reminding me of my old life. I don't want any... Here's the thing we can build into that. That won't happen. You'll wake up one day and it's just living a life. So you've got the same kids, but to Megan Fox's not, Jamie. That seems mean.

It does, doesn't it? Well, there's just no kids. I feel like I've had the kids, and then Jay finds out. It's like I'm being picky. Okay, so you've got no kids. You're married to Megan Fox. Where do you live? But she's got kids to another man.

Who's the man? Is it Machine Gun? Yeah. Oh, he wants a threesome. He'll be bros. Okay. Do you want me to build in there's a threesome at one point? With who?

With Machine Gun Callie? No. I don't want a MMF threesome? Okay. What? No. I have to ask the question, sir. What?

I ask it all from all my clients. No. I have a bit of a fantasy. Sometimes I go, ooh, there are three. Okay, so where do you live? Are you in Auckland, New Zealand? I've got places all over. Oh, fuck, of course.

Francis. Meg, you really did, like, you didn't think about it. I'm really pissed off at myself. Yeah. It's all over. You've just lived in a five-bedroom house. And about 80% of my properties are all like waterfront. But then there's a couple that are out in, like, the bush, like really off-grid stuff.

Yeah, but he still is to text me every day, doesn't it? Okay. Oh, I've got AI doing that. Oh, fuck. You haven't even realized for three years. I've been sending you automated AI messages. I've got me. Fuck, I'm really fucked up.

No, but you're living a separate life. Yeah, I'm not in the same world. My house is not in Auckland. My house is not in Auckland. If I'm a painter, I don't have to be here. Okay. And so you're a footballer. What would you change about yourself? Body, anything you'd change about your body?

I'd be rocking a 4% body fat at all times, regardless of what I... Oh, so you're going back to my... No, you're a tag, you're dumb... Your fucking tank's already turned on. You're in a zombie don't know with a sail to... I also... What am I being the writer? Let snail dits and just on repeat.

I've got fucking snail tits. Why? In her one house that she could have been 10. Fuck, I don't want to be a writer as well as a painter. She's still married to guy. Jesus. Okay, and one more thing, anything you change personality-wise. You're still talking?

I am one of those people that when I say things, people fucking listen because I don't say much. So when they go, Mysterious. They go, no, no, they just go, shush, shh, shh, shh, Clint's saying something. I want to be that guy. Okay. You know like Obama.

Hey? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, when everyone else is finished talking, they go, hold on. Clint, what do you think? Like, they will want to know what I'm going to say. Well, the ego shouldn't have gone fucking first. That's not interesting. You'd both do that.

You're not happy enough in your lives. Might have to do yours tomorrow. Are you not getting in the tank? I think we're running at a time, 20 minutes. No, we'll do us tomorrow. Yeah, we'll do yours tomorrow. We have a whole session just on dance. No, I think I wouldn't do it.

I wouldn't do it either, but you force me. No, you're in there with your snail tits. Yeah, I just took headphones off you. They're still playing it. Meanwhile, my headphones are a good place considering that was off the cuff. Oh, they're known as the pubs, Megan and Jackson Pump. Or a couple of losers. No kids.

He'll see. All righty. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye. Bye. I have 3% body fat, though. Music, radio, podcasts.