The Edge Breakfast - TRUTH BOOTH second guessing the engagement

Episode Date: October 23, 2025

This is a podcast from Rover. Have you've got a secret you've been sitting on that no one knows about, but you've decided it's time to get it off your chest, then you can join us like James has in the Truth Booth. Morning James. Morning, guys. Morning, mate. Thanks for coming on.

Yeah, what is going on in your world? Have you heard the Truth Booth before? How many times have you thought about coming into the Truth Booth and haven't? A few times, a few times, but I thought the time's finally right. Yeah, love that for you and love that for you. for us. Is it warm enough? Put your feet up?

Give us the top line. What's kind of going on? What's the vibe here, Jamesie? All right. So I'm due to get married in about six months, but a couple of things recently have happened that have me kind of second-guessing if I actually want to stay with my fiancé and go through with the whole thing. Oh.

Are you secretly gay? No. I have not. I have not. I have not. That would be a truth bomb to release, yeah. That would be good. That would be.

If you're getting married in six months, How long you've been engaged for already? We've been together now about two years all up. Now, a lot of people say that, and there's mostly guys that say this, that after getting engaged, it's like a trial period for the marriage. I would say that that should happen before you get engaged.

You should be 100% sure once you get engaged. Interesting, because I think guys have a different perspective on this. But, you know, like, I think you're right, Dan. You say, I'm just interested, James, because at some point you said, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. you. You were sure. And then between that point and this point, now you

are very unsure. I'm very unsure. Is it something she's done or is it something that's just like, over time just, you've changed your opinion or she's just become annoying or is it like an actual deliberate thing that's happened? It's not necessarily just one thing that's happened. It was just about

three months into the engagement. I was like really having second thoughts. Okay, and so you were like fully in when you got down on one knee and proposed? Or if it's One of those things where you just, everyone keeps asking, when are you going to do it? When are you going to do it? You feel pressured.

Yeah, I was madly in love with it. I was. You're saying was. Well, maybe I still am. I don't know. I'm torn. Is there someone else? I reckon you would know, like if you were madly in love, it's either a yes or a no thing.

Yeah, I guess so. Is it just cold feet for like the wedding and the commitment and you still want to be there? I wonder how many people do that where they go, oh my God, this is forever. I still want to be with you. Is it cold feet or it's a cold feet or it's a. literal thing that's changed your view of her? It's a bit of both. I just don't know where I'm at at the moment.

Yeah, but is it because of something you've discovered or something she's done, or is it just you've changed your mind? It's something she's done, I guess. Okay. Okay, let's find out. I've heard enough. Yeah, what has she done, what's happened? What have you discovered about your fiancé

that's made you change the way you feel about her and wonder if you want to even get married at all? What's that mink's doing? I hate to do this to her, but essentially, My partner's always likes the finer things in life, and she's really not good with money, which is fine. She makes money, and, like, we both contribute to bills and all that. But in the couple of months after we got engaged, she's gone, like, mental on the spending,

and she's quit her job with no plan to go back to work, and even saying things like, I've kept a woman now, she won't stop spending my hard-in cash, and she doesn't care and doesn't really want to go back to work. Was there any... Sorry, this is a lot to unpack Maybe we have to play a song and come back But has she, was there any discussion Before she quit the job

Or was that news to you after she had done it? No, it was kind of news to me She was just busy spending And I guess she thought she was too busy To keep working so she could To be a spend a full time That's my dream How is that like a thing?

That would never even wash in my relationship I had to quit her job I must say Currently I'm like very much team James here I'm bleeding James, that's how I'm much team I'm on. But I must, is there, you must be not that perfect. Like there must be something else going on. There's always two sides. Are you, I mean, um, I mean, put your humble card down, James, uh, for a second. Are you quite well off? Like, do you do quite well?

Yeah, I've got a, I've got a pretty good job. I've got, and I've got some pretty good savings. But they, hello, we won't pre-nup. We won't pre-nup. We won't pre-nop. Yeah. How much does she spend? Like, what's the ballpark here? Like, are we talking like a couple hundred bucks a week, or is it in the thousands? I'm not actually sure, but it's got to be high up there. Every day we've got a new, at minimum two or three packages arriving. And the money just seems to come in and go straight out. Wow.

Is it wedding-related purchases or just whatever she wants? So it started off as pure wedding-based purchases, and now it just seems to be all sorts of crap that has nothing to do with the wedding. She's buying presents for all her friends. She's going on, like, big, extravagant lunches. She's doing everything. I mean, I find this very hard to stomach, knowing that she, like, if you're spending, usually it means that you're spending your own money, when it's kind of leisure stuff.

And you're not married yet, so it's not your communal money as much as people want to think so. In your fiancé's defence, though, if this is something that has annoyed you enough to the point where you've called us on the edge, have you sat her down and spoke to her and said, hey babe, love you, I think you've got to curb your spending a bit. There isn't a way that we can kind of continue in this direction if we're going to financially be secure and stable in our marriage. No, we really haven't had those. The money chats we've had, she did palms it off and says,

we've got the money, we've got the money, you've got a really good job, you're earning well, it doesn't matter. She doesn't really think about it. Money's very psychological, and the spending that she's doing sounds to me like it. She's got maybe an addiction or some sort of a psychological issue with spending. If she doesn't think it's a problem and you do, that's a problem. And I think communication is the key here, right? Like you say you've had the

conversation but I think you need to really sit down and like look her in the eye and fully go, this is not right. Because it'll get worse once he's married. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. I guess maybe I've put it all on the table and say I don't want to get married unless you're serious. Podcasts.