The Eric Metaxas Show - #141 - John Zmirak

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

Today On The Eric Metaxas Show, Eric talks with John Zmirak about Britain’s rape gang inquiry report, the media blackout, police failures, immigration, Islam, censorship, Tommy Robinson, Rupert Lowe, and whether Britain can still recover its freedom. They also discuss Europe’s political crisis, the Pope’s comments on immigration, corruption in religious institutions, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and Eric’s out of print humor book Don’t You Believe It?⭐ ORDER NOW:Revolution: The Birth of the Greatest Nation in the History of the World📕: https://a.co/d/0ir3NlapTODAY'S SPONSORS:🛏️ MyPillow — Save BIG with code ERIC: https://www.mypillow.com/☀️ Honest, fast, and free Medicare plan guidance: https://askchapter.com/metaxas/

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Volvo is leaving the chaos of Russia. outside. Start by settling into your saddle-stitched Napa leather seats. Notice the open space around you, unc cluttered, elegant, intentional, warm ambient light, and natural wood details to ground you. This is Volvo's Scandinavian sanctuary for every journey. Learn more at Volvocars.caps.caps.com optional features mentioned. Hey there folks, welcome in the program. I believe it's Thursday.

And I'm just going to guess that it's Thursday. And I am at this point on a plane. I don't look like it, but trust me, I am. I'm going to Washington State. I may look like I'm not on a plane, but don't let your eyes deceive you. Nonetheless, even as I am on the plane, I will have a conversation with John's Merrick. who will miraculously appear right now, and there he is. Eric, you didn't mention you're going to play the town you're going to is called

George, comma, Washington. It's the state of Washington. The town is George. That is. So I'm going to George, comma, Washington. And I'm speaking at an event called Freedom Con, 26, 2026. And it is being held at the gorge. Amphitheater, not the George Amphitheater, the Gorge Amphitheater in George or next to George, Washington.

So yes, that's where I'll be speaking tomorrow, which is to say Friday. But John, we're not here to talk about me. We're here to talk about you and other things. So please, my friend, let's begin. I think, well, you and I were talking about England. I continue to have this crazy. hope that people in England might finally wake up and throw off the shackles of Islamof fascism. What do you think? Well, there's a new report which every American needs to go

and at least try to read Sama. It's painful, painful reading, but I'm going to be writing about it for Chronicles magazine, the best conservative magazine in America, and the only one that still publishes me. Ah, that's not a coincidence. It's called the Rape Gang Inquiry Report. Rape Gang Inquiry Report. Look it up on X. Look it up on Google. The mainstream media is not reporting on it.

In fact, in Britain, it's an almost total blackout of news, except for like the Daily Mail and one article in the Telegraph. In it, a courageous member of parliament, Rupert Lowe, one of the last few patriots left in the British Parliament, conducted this multi-year inquiry led by surviving. of Pakistani rape gangs that have been terrorizing most of Britain for up to 30 years. People call them grooming gangs, Asian grooming gang. That's all Balderdash.

They are Pakistani rape gangs that targeted mostly native British white girls. They took a particular glee in grabbing infidels, non-Muslims. They called them kufars. That's like the N-word for this. non-Muslims, at ages like 10, 11, 12, in Pakistani culture, which is shaped entirely by the Quran in Islam, if a woman is walking around,

anybody over, you know, a female at almost any age, is walking around unprotected by male relatives, she is fair gang, especially if she's a non-Muslim. And they looked to the Quran, they looked to Muslim tradition to justify, conducting hideous, hideous rape gangs where the same girls were molested for years. They were turned into prostitutes.

Some of them were forcibly converted to Islam and married to 50-year-old men fresh off the boat from Pakistan. This is not something that happened 200 times or 2,000 times. It is documented that this happened to 250,000 British women. Girls and women. It's this scene that seems inconceivable to be honest that that's very difficult to fathom. Well at through something like 80% of British cities. What happened was this is part of this Pakistani culture that women exist as an extension of the honor of their male relatives. So for instance, in Pakistan,

if a girl behaves what they regard us promiscuously, meaning she goes dancing, or if God forbid she dates a non-Muslim. The family's duty, the men's duty, is to kill her. It's called honor killing. Honor killing is epidemic in Pakistan, and it's showing up in the United States and in Britain and France and Germany,

wherever these immigrants go. And in Pakistan, it's not even punished. The police don't even bother to investigate. If they hear it's an honor killing, they just turn a blind eye. When these people come to Britain, they see all these young girls who in their minds are essentially prostitutes. They're essentially fair game because they're not surrounded by their brothers and their uncles. They're not wearing hijabs. So they're just essentially non-believer prostitutes who are sexual fair game. A quarter of a million victims. That speaks to the insanity of importing the third world

and expecting it not to behave like the third world, of importing Islam and jihad and its stone age sexual ethics and expecting them to, oh, they touch the magic dirt of Great Britain. Now they're all going to be like William Wallace and King Arthur and Queen Victoria. No.

But mainly it speaks the insane corruption of British elites. The police wouldn't investigate these crimes. In some cases, they arrested the girl's fathers for trying to rescue them? Their motivation? This is so, I don't know if we can make Chris, Chris, if we can make John a little bit louder. John, this is, anytime I hear about this, it's just unbearable. It's unbearable.

I guess part of me wonders, where were the fathers and brothers of these girls? What is the culture like in that part of it? England. It's mostly the urban poor, mostly the white working class, the supposed constituency of the Labor Party. But the British Labor Party decided that it didn't care about its native working class, that they could be replaced with immigrant voters. So immigrants could be disciplined. They would vote the way the imam at the mosque told them to. So it was mostly, you know, working dads like mine and yours, blue-collar dads who were busy working 10 and 12-hour days. They think their daughter's safe.

She's at school. She's walking home from school. But the gangs of Pakistani rapists were praying on them. And when they were words to the police, the police didn't investigate in a systemic. And what is the explanation for that? In other words, how is it possible that the British police did not investigate this? We have dozens of quotes from dozens of police officers all across the country that they were told that if they investigated these things, it would cause ethnic tension. It would,

it would feed into the so-called far right. So for the sake of maintaining the illusion that mass immigration, that Muslim immigration was a good thing, that it was safe, that it was normal, in order to maintain the political illusion that the elites wanted in order to bring in tame voters, they suppress the truth. And in several instances, they arrested the fathers trying to rescue their daughters. That's how bad it is. Britain today is worse than the Soviet Union was after Stalin. Under Stalin, Soviet Union was worse.

But once Stalin was out of the picture, the Soviet Union was not as bad as Great Britain is today. And what the British government is doing in response to the, revelation is arresting people who post about it on social media. This is all depressing. Rupert Lowe. We're not in the gutter yet. Every day, dozens of Britons are arrested for posting on social media, for complaining about immigration or mentioning the rape gangs.

They get arrested for expressing racial hatred. If you say, oh, there is too much immigration. what do you think bloke you will be arrested now in response to Elon Musk and other people trying to fight this Elon Musk has been heroic about this they're they tried to ban X to ban Twitter from Britain and now what they're doing is they've they've introduced something allegedly to protect children that you have to show digital ID to go on Facebook or X and prove that you're over 16 so this is a way of insulating young people from anything that's not the propaganda taught in the schools, but also forcing people to you,

imagine you have to show your passport or your driver's license to log on to Twitter. We don't even need to show it to vote here in America, but you need to do it to show on Facebook because that way, if you're posting under a pseudonym and you say, oh, they use a little bit too too much immigration, mate, they can track down who you are and they can arrest you. Britain is no longer a free country. It should not be part of NATO. We should never consider shedding

one drop of American blood to support that fascist regime. And in fact, we ought to be trying to overturn the regime in Britain more aggressively than we did in Iran because the regime in Britain, and I want to be clear here, is worse than the one in Iran. Because the one in Iran is at least Muslims persecuting Muslims according to the tenets of Islam. In Britain, a Christian majority is, is being persecuted by a Pakistani Islamic minority and a bunch of traitors in power. Traders who deserve to have their heads along London Bridge. Well, do we know, I mean, I want to get to Rupert Lowe,

is the member of parliament. Yes, and he leaked the party called Restore Britain, which is to the right of Nigel Farage's Reform Party. And he claims Nizzo Farage is sort of a sellout is basically the Mike Pence of Great Britain. I don't know enough about British politics to determine whether Nigel Farage or Rupert Lowe are better alternatives. But both of them are dissenting from the official British policy, which is to replace the native population with Muslim immigrants who will vote as they are told. Looking at how this, this has happened not just in Britain, in Germany, in Austria, a majority. of the students of people under 18 are Muslim now. The most common name in Vienna is

Muhammad. The governments of Western Europe have intentionally colonized their countries with Muslim immigrants. I'm at the point now, Eric, where I feel like it would have been better had the Soviets won the Cold War. Because if Western Europe had been taken over by the Soviets, they wouldn't be doing this. This is worse than anything the Soviets did to Eastern Europe. It's hard to take in. I mean, it reminds me of Solzhenitsyn's critique of the West in his 1978 Harvard commencement speech. It was predicted. At the time, yes.

I mean, he was speaking prophetically in 1970. In a more detailed way by someone else. There's a novel called The Camp of the Saints by French authors, Jean Reyespailles. And it's just been reissued. tried to shut it down. The Camp of the Saints, written in 1973, it predicts the destruction of the West by mass immigration from the Third World,

enabled by wimpy, milk-and-water, pseudo-Christians for whom white guilt has replaced the sermon on the Mount. White guilt has become a religion. I call it the New Gospel of Antichrist, where you don't repent your own sins. You repent the sins of your ancestors, and you don't do anything to help. You don't do anything for both justice or equality or fairness. You just shove the burden onto other people.

The British elites who support mass Muslim immigration, they don't live in the cities where the Pakistani rape gangs are going to molest their daughters. They live in nice, gaity communities, they live in London. They are insulated from the impact of their policies, just like Gavin Newsom and Sharon Bass, don't. live in neighborhoods surrounded by homeless encampments? Well, as I was talking to you yesterday, John, the question is what might happen? In other words, this is so gruesome, it's so depressing, it's so awful, but when I see somebody

like Rupert Lowe bringing a tent, what's that? Or Tommy Robinson. Or Tommy Robinson, yes, I was going to bring him up. He's a working class hero who's been exposing this stuff for 20 years, and the British government keeps imprisoning him on made-up charges. The late, they keep, he won't give away. When the police grab his phone, he wouldn't unlock it. So they put him in jail for terrorism.

Because somehow they wrote that, their terrorism bill includes not letting the cops into your phone. So he's been imprisoned over and over again. People need to look up and follow Tommy Robinson on Twitter. That God very Elon Musk or he wouldn't even have an account. So my question is, well, the other day, there was that incident in Belfast where some... An African Muslim immigrant tried to behead a local resident with a machete out in the street in broad daylight. And the police, of course, tried to cover it up.

They tried to pressure the victim's family and just saying, No, let this be used against the immigrant community. You know, there was an official office in Britain. as there is in the U.S. Department of Justice who swoops in when there's a white crime victim with a non-white offender and basically force them to issue some statement saying,

I don't want this to cause any division or anger. You shouldn't be angry when foreigners are beheading your citizens in the street. You shouldn't be angry. You shouldn't be divisive. John, okay, so that happened. But there was... There has been tremendous protest.

protests, riots. Tommy Robinson three weeks ago said at a huge event that we are a Christian nation, I get the sense that there is at least some reason to hope. There is some reason to hope. It's all from the bottom up. Now, there were some violent incidents. They burned some migrant hotels. And I hope nobody, you know, it's horrible if anybody got hurt. But remember, the American Revolution was not accomplished by writing polite letters. It was a good. accomplished the Boston Tea Party. People got tared and feathered. Royal governors got driven out of their palaces. They had to skulked on ships along the coasts of America as your new book Revolution documents. Lord Dunmore, a horrible British royal governor of Virginia, who wanted to

arm the slaves and urged a Haiti-style slave revolt, which would have been a massacre. He ended up skulking in a ship off the coast of Virginia. It's going to take something like the American Revolution, where good, faithful Christian men who realize that sometimes war is just and sometimes revolution is just, they're going to have to topple the regime in Britain. Elements of the military are going to have to decide

what side they're on. Are they here to enforce the Pakistani colonization of Britain, or are they here to defend their wives and their daughters from rape gangs that the police enable and in some cases cooperated with? Some of the police got in on the action. Well, there are many movements throughout Europe. It's not just England that, you know, that right-wing political parties in France, Marine Le Pen.

In Germany, I always forget the name of it. alternative. My question is, what is your sense of what's going on in these other countries? I mean, I think that many Europeans are hugely fed up, but do you think that something can happen? Well, here's a good analogy. These people in Britain get demonized as neo-Nazis, and they're not, demonized as far right, when in fact they're to the left of Charles de Gaul and Winston Churchill. They basically get treated like the January 6th defendants. Look what happened to the peaceful protesters on January 6th.

That's happening on a huge scale in almost every Western European country. The equivalent of the Donald Trumps of those countries and their supporters are treated as criminals. Their parties are legally banned in something. They're trying to outlaw the main opposition. Party in Germany, the AFD. They're just trying to make it illegal. Marine Le Pen, they have rigged up fake charges against her so she's not eligible to run for president.

Lawfare, censorship, coercion, massive shaming campaigns, everything totalitarian states do. They're basically acting like the Communist Party in China. There is no moral difference between these parties. They are authoritarian, unpatriotic, criminal conspiracies. And the sooner we pull out of NATO and stop defending these fascist regimes from the imaginary threat of invasion by a Russia that can't even beat Ukraine. I mean, really, how preposterous.

It really is preposterous. NATO, to ally ourselves with these regimes, it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Well, I think Trump gets that to some extent. I'm not sure to what extent. J.D. Van St. gets it. The thing is, you have to be aware of the weapons, the enemy, by which I mean screw tape, the father of lies who's behind all of this, that the enemy uses.

They will find one person in one of these parties who said something extreme. They will plant people. They will send actual Nazis into these parties and get them to join so that they can ruin their reputation. We just saw the Southern Poverty Law Center. There was this neo-Nazi crazy anti-Christian group called the National Alliance. It had shrunk to 20 members. It was basically dead. The Southern Poverty Law Center said, wait, this is a problem.

If these groups are dying, what's our purpose? How do we raise money? How do we scare old people who remember the Holocaust into sending us fat checks? So they poured money into the clan. They bought the wood for the clan to use for Christ. cross burnings. They got the president, one of the highest officers of the National Alliance. They funneled money from the Southern Poverty Law Center. The woman who was in charge of it was sleeping with the neo-Nazi who was implementing it. So she got her Nazi boyfriend hundreds of thousands of

dollars in order to make the National Alliance bigger again so that the Southern Poverty Law Center could raise money off fighting it. Is there going to be justice in this case? Just automatically, I say no, but maybe. The Department of Justice has actually is actually pursuing charges against the Southern Poverty Law Center. Their spokeswoman in front of Congress took the fifth something like 20 times. Innocent people don't generally take the fifth. It's sort of the point of the fifth is you are guilty of something, but we are not going to force you to incriminate yourself. She took the fifth 20 times. The Southern Poverty Law Center, now this is not some radical left group that nobody cares about. This is the group that Christian pastors would look to it to see, oh, is this a hate

group? This was taken very seriously. Corporations will fire you if you're a member of the hate groups, the Southern Poverty Law Center lists. But they listed groups like the Ruth Institute, which is a pro-family think tank. They listed the alliance defending freedom. Any patriotic pro-family group, anybody who, moms for liberty who were just trying to keep transgender pornography out of children's libraries. They were listed as a hate group and Merrick Garland was ready to prosecute them as domestic terrorists. So you see in America, if we had not somehow managed to beat Kamala Harris, we would be in roughly the same state as Great Britain. We're one election away. Oh, there's no doubt about it.

And that's why I will forever have contempt from my. Mike Pence and George W. Bush, who did not support President Trump in the last election. They seem to think that, no, he's even worse than Kamala Harris. We're going to sit on our hands and see what happens. Well, that shows you where their real loyalties are. They are loyal. Remember the Washington generals who would go out and lose graciously every night to the Harlem Globetrotters? They see the role of the Republican Party and the Christian Church is to be the Washington Generals

and to lose to the Harlem Globetrotters. The problem is right now the left is no longer Harlem Globetrotters. They're the Black Panthers. They've got AK-47s. They're bringing onto the court. And we can't afford to lose gracefully to them anymore. Well, maybe we can turn the page to something slightly less cheerful, or maybe slightly more cheerful, but only slightly.

The Pope, and typically there's only one Pope. In history, there have been moments when there are, it's more than one pope and it gets very confusing. But right now, there's just one pope, Pope Leo the 14th. 14th, is it? Yeah, the 14th. We just keep the Lekin these Leo's. I was hoping for a Gemini.

Ha, that was good. That was good. So, but Pope Leo recently said something very, very silly, very silly, extra silly. And maybe you can tell us what that was. He went to the Italian island of Lampedusa, which has been so overwhelmed with illegal African economic migrants that a majority of the population are now African migrants on welfare. And he spoke to the immigrants and said, I bow before your dignity. And he warned against the danger of ideas like remigration, like sending these people home. These people who came mostly with fake refugee claims, they weren't be persecuted.

they just, it's better to be on welfare in Britain than to have to work 60 hours a week in Somalia. The Pope is warning against the dangers of xenophobia and ethnic nationalism. He actually said that we need to learn from, we need to learn that not to have a fear of Islam. We need to learn we can live in peace with them the way they do in Lebanon. Lebanon, Lebanon, a once Christian country that was overwhelmed by Palestinian refugees. and is now the terrorist headquarters of Hezbollah, where the Christians live in fear, and Hezbollah rains rockets on the civilians of Israel. It's absolute madness, but we have to explain.

Pope Leo was elected by the Cardinals appointed by Pope Francis, our first atheist Pope. I'm convinced Pope Francis was an atheist. I think he was probably a member of the Communist Party. He selected the Cardinals who found an American. Leo, because they thought an American will be more effective at rebuking Donald Trump than some South American. So they got... Speaking as a Protestant, I get very confused. How can we have a pope? How can you have a pope? How can there be a pope who is really just a political figure? What is the point of

the papacy? The point of the papacy is not to pontificate about politics. And so, you know, we've been bad popes before in the 10th century, local Roman gangs got control of the papacy. And a local prostitute was actually appointing the popes for about 40, 50 years. Historians call it the pornocracy. They rule by whores. And it took the Holy Roman Emperor out of the Great, invading Rome, toppling the Pope, forcing him to resign and electing a clean honest pope.

It took Caesar to correct the heir of St. Peter. I have a wild idea for what could help. Donald Trump could get our Department of Justice to do a RICO investigation against our U.S. Catholic bishops over their cover-up of sex abuse, which continues to this day, and over their human trafficking of migrants in some cases through organizations like Catholic Charities have been incredibly accused of cooperating with cartels

to smuggle thousands of people, a lot of them unaccompanied children, into the country. So if he launched such a RICO investigation, they would instantly become ineligible for federal funds. The U.S. Catholic bishops have made $3 billion in 15 years through government contracts for immigration. That would all go away. One more thing that Trump could do if the Pope keeps doing insane things,

he could strip the Vatican of its immunity from sex abuse lawsuits because the Vatican was ultimately responsible for the policies that got hundreds of thousands of kids molested over the last 30 years. There were $3 billion, would it be, $3 billion in lawsuits, in lawsuit judgments against the Catholic bishops for sex abuse. and that was capped because a lot of them went bankrupt. It would have been a lot more. The Vatican ought to be on the hook for that.

Just the way British Petroleum is on the hook when they have an oil spill through one of their subsidiaries in Argentina. They can't say, oh, no, we're a separate organization. But that legal fiction is what the Vatican hides behind. If the Vatican were subject to the lawsuits it deserves, all that beautiful art would get auctioned off and it would end up in the bedrooms of Saudi princes. and that would be sad.

But if all the money dries up, the priesthood will cease to be an easy career for unambitious, not very bright gay men, which is what it's been for the last 30 years. And the bishops are even worse. Bishops tend to be the worst of the worst. And it's not just true in the Catholic Church. It's true in the Anglican Church.

It's largely true in the Orthodox Church. Think of all your Greek bishops palling around with pro-abortion Democrat politicians because they happen to be Greek. Organizations tend to be corrupt. Man is fallen. The church, when it gets rich and powerful, tends to be corrupt and worldly. John, have I mentioned that as we speak, I'm on a plane heading to Seattle. Have I mentioned that recently? Yeah.

To George Washington. To George Washington, to FreedomCon. I just wanted to mention that again, because anything that I could say would be less depressing. Sorry. Everything we, listen, it needs to be talked about, but it is just mind blowing some of this stuff. I always tell people I hate to be the bearer of good news when I reluctantly have to share a positive development. Oh, no, it is just, but I mean, my goodness, when I think of my faithful Catholic friends like you who have to put up with this. But the rest of us have to hear the blathering of the current Pope.

It's just, it's very strange. I mean, listen, he's a Chicago leftist like Obama. You know, what more can you say? Yeah, in fact, he is more in the Obama model. Pope Francis was like a greasy sociopathic thug. He was like trying to think. He was like trying to think of a politician. David Duke, I don't know.

Mayor Dayleave Chicago. Ah. You know? Or Al Sharpton. There you go. Pope Francis was Al Sharpton. And they figured out, oh, wait, he's not subtle enough. So they replaced him with Barack Obama.

Oh, he's smooth. He's clean. He's, as Joe Biden said. He's a. Joe Biden. Yeah. Oh, he went. Yeah.

I'll never, I'll never forget that. Well, maybe we can, maybe we can take a, up the last few minutes, doing something more cheerful, like reading passages from my out-of-print book, don't you believe it? Oh, let me go get it. I'm going to hold it up to the camera. While the corrupt federal elites have been quietly building wealth through cryptocurrency, hardworking American patriots have been left behind. Today, I want to tell you about metaxis crypto.com. They're bringing access to cryptocurrency wealth to real Americans. Crypto is supercharging President Trump's America First Economic Miracle, and now you can be a part of it.

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Yeah. I'm just, because I'm very tired. Yeah. And I don't have much to say. Here we go. All right. Okay, folks, John, I have to explain. I have to explain. Some people will know this because Albin, Sadar and I, you know, when we did our Fun Facts Friday segments, which we're going to be doing again very soon, we would sometimes read untrue. facts from my book, don't you believe it? In 1997, I published my first book that was not a children's book, and it is a parody of the Ripley's, believe it or not, books. Now, many people listening aren't going to be old enough to even know what those were, but they were, they were fun books. When we were kids, I would order them from, what was that catalog? There was a catalog that that would come around scholastic books or something like that. Yes. And I would order these suckers, and I would just devour them at age.

I don't know. I guess I was 10, 11, 12. And it was all, you know, if anybody knows what Ripleys believe it or not is, there's a new one on Instagram. But I wrote a parody. Yeah. I wrote a parody of Ripleys Believe or Not title,

don't you believe it? You cannot get it. It's very, very expensive. If you want to get it at eBay or something like that, it's like $100 for this little paperback. This is, it's like 100 bucks. Odysseus books, your imprint over

Yes. Maybe we'll reissue it, sure. I think you need to reissue it on vellum gold edge pages. This is comedy gold. What's really... I'm very proud of it. Let me read a, just read a few choice items.

Okay. Well, wait, let me just start by saying that the idea for this, there's a friend of mine at the Yale record. I think he was in your class at Yale, Jim Shapiro, and we were just kind of sitting around that it was during my lost year, a couple of years in Boston.

So it was the summer of 85, I was so lost. It was a year after graduation, I was just kind of like slumping around. What am I doing with my life? I don't know how to be a writer. And I didn't know God in the way that I do now. And so I just thought, what are you going to do? And we thought, hey, why don't we try to write something?

And we thought, yeah, what about a parody of rip, believe it or not. And on the steps of Widener Library, literally sitting on the steps in the summer, the first one we came up with was, I'll read this now, this was our first parody entry. This was what gave us the idea that maybe a book could be written. So the first one we came up with was during World War I, chefs under siege in a mountainous region of Switzerland buttered an entire mountainside and slid to safety.

Okay. So that was, that was, you know, that was that we kind of thought, yeah. And I think I'm the one that came up with and slid to safety. So suddenly we realized it's possible to do a parody of Ripley's believe it or not. It's actually possible.

Maybe we can come up with some others. So we sat there and we came up with a bunch of them and then I put it aside for, oh, I don't know, 12 years. And then 12 years later, I decided, let me, let me resurrect this idea. So I produced an entire manuscript and we got somebody to do the illustrations, brilliant illustrations by Mark Dennis. Hold up the illustrations so people can see like that. Well, it's, I don't know people can see it.

But the, this, on the cover, we also have the ursine abbess. A common black bear that was adopted by a group of nuns in the Montreau nunnery was trained to ring the bells as a cub and rose in the ranks of the order to become mother superior of the convent. She ruled successfully for 16 years before being killed by poachers in 1549. You know, here's what's really fun for me about the book. Having grown up on the Ripley's, believe it or not, I'm used to reading something outlandish and going, oh, but it's true. Ripley says it's true. It's true. So as I'm reading this, I'm having to stop myself from believing that. Of course, there were a lot of crazy things that happened in the Middle Ages. My first

humor book, the bad Catholics guide to good living, it has the same kind of humor, but it's mostly true stuff. Mostly like just outrageous things that happen in the history of the church, along with recipes. Like there's a recipe in it called Nuns Farts. It's a real French recipe called nun's farts that they came up with because when you cook it, when you fry the pastry, it makes a little sound. You know what? I didn't need to hear that. Here's something else you didn't need to hear.

St. Agatha is the patron saint of breast cancer. Why? Okay, look. Listen. No, come on. I'm shutting you down right now because I've heard this before. It's not a team.

St. Agatha is the patron saint of breast cancer because of. cause when she was being martyred by the Romans for being a Christian, they cut off her breasts first. She prayed to St. Peter. He brought them back to her on a platter and restored them, and then she died intact. So on her feast day every year in this region of Italy, they make little breast-shaped cakes with a maraschino cherry as the nipple. Since she is the patroness of breast cancer, when my own dear sister, Patty, came back from a partial mastectomy, I made these pastries and I presented them to her. What a loving, what a loving messed up brother you are.

She said, John, you were the only person in the world who would do this. Yes, and thank God for that. Thank God for that because evil has to be contained. Okay, so you, I mean, my goodness. Okay, so John, some of these entries in the book are a little bit cerebral. I'll read one that's a little bit cerebral. the English word tomato is not a word at all

but a fruit it's not really like guffaw funny but it's cerebral I just thought I needed an you know after we're talking about the Pakistani rape gangs and and all this depressing stuff I thought we'd need to bring this out

and read maybe oh here's one a chicken egg in the shape of the Taj Mahal yeah it's beautiful It's a collective. Amazing. It's amazing. You know, this reminds you of Cliff Clavin

doing little known facts on Cheers. Did he? Yeah, you remember the mailman? He would sit at the bar. Well, no, I met Cliff Clavin. I mean, I met the actor who plays him, but I didn't know that that segment on Cheers. Yeah, he would often just have a little known fact.

And the funny thing is, my dad was a mailman. He was a lot like Cliff Clavin. So you may have met the actor. I lived with the original. You lived with the real thing. All right, here's one for you. some of these are kind of like mobius strips of logic Paul Bunyan the legendary lumberjack of folklore

was an actual man who never fell the tree never swung an axe did not have a blue ox named babe and was not in fact named Paul at all neither was his last name Bunyan you know what that reminds you of that sounds like the Jesus seminar going through the New Testament they took that same approach So I'm making myself laugh with jokes I came up with 30 years ago.

It's kind of weird. You're laughing at your own jokes. Who's going to laugh? But it's just, I just can't believe that you now have a copy of this book. I'm just so glad. I don't know if this will make you happy or sad, but this is the most important book you've written,

and this is the one for which you will be remembered. No. Well, I'm actually very proud of it. I'm very proud of it. I'm very proud of it. No one can stop me. It's what?

I hope you're proud of yourself, young. man. Yeah, exactly. You hear that. No one can spot me. It's my own show. Who's going to stop me? All right, here we go.

Professional. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I want you to keep in mind, none of these are true, okay? Just don't get scared. None of these are true. This is all made up. Professional gambler Lodi Dixon once shuffled a brand new deck of playing cards for 24 hours straight. When he was through, the cards were in a state of such extreme randomness that they have not

been sorted back into their original order. to this very day. See, this is sad. This is your real contribution. Everything else is just trippery. It's really sick. It's really sick. If you'd like to add anything, John, you know, we're just killing time here.

Well, I want you to reissue this book and you should offer it as a premium to people who give you fat donations. And it should be a coffee table book. It is a real. Oh, here's one you'll appreciate. Feda cheese in the shape of novelist, it's homeless. mom. This is like, it's real, this is really, this is so bad.

This is so stupid. There's, oh, here's one. Oh, this is, this is, this is, I think this one's clever. This is clever. Bo Ott of Nova Scotia, when he emigrated to America through Ellis Island, cracked a joke to the effect that the officials would have difficulty shortening his already short name. The official at whom this offhanded crack was directed became so outraged, that he shortened Ott's name by 12 letters,

the maximum allowable limit, giving the former Mr. Ott a legal name of negative length. He lived out the remainder of his days with his negative name and was legally obliged to sign all documents with an eraser. That is greatness.

I was going to say, that's pretty good. Yeah. So, you know, there's some kooky stuff. Reminds me of Erasmus' dialogues, which were my favorite thing to read in college. Erasmus's. Dialogues. Yeah.

It was your favorite thing you're reading college. Yes. John, let me ask you on behalf of the group. What's wrong with you? Scientists gave up a long, long time ago. It's incredible. All right, this is the one, this is going to be the T-shirt.

Peter and Arthur Bookman of Mississippi are Siamese twins connected by a common beard. And here's a picture. Do you know Ben Carfton is the only surgeon who has ever been able to separate conjoined twins connected by the beard? Yes, by a beard. No, look, I'm reading Ben Carson's book, Gifted Hands, and he has a whole thing about the beard operation. You're, well, no, Ben Carson, of course, is one of the greatest brain surgeons, whoever. So he is amazing. And he did seriously separate.

Some people don't know this about him. It was a 22-hour operation. It's inconceivable. This is, of course, true. He separated twins who were connected by the head. head. Or the brain. They shared a common brain. Well, they didn't, I don't know that they shared a common brain, but they, they shared maybe their two brains were connected or whatever. Yeah, but were deeply connected and he separated them. He amazingly, amazingly, almost miraculously,

managed to separate them. They both survived. That's, you know, I forgot about that. I was with him recently. We did the Socrates and city in Washington, D.C. together, and we're not going to air it until the fall. But honestly, what an amazing man. We forget sometimes who's living amongst us. The author of Don't You Believe It? And John Ben Carr, really, what he did, seriously, it's just incredible.

We just have a moment left. I just reminded myself to say that on October 7th, we are going to be relaunching the Bonhofer film in theaters across America. A lot of people didn't know about it. We didn't get the word out. Mark your calendars, folks. October 7th, we're going to be relaunching the Bonhofer film in theaters across America. It is a great film.

I've seen it many times. And October 7th, of course, a very important date to remember. So we're going to be relaunching it in theaters on October 7th. And write it down because it's very important that we get the word out to churches about the film because so many people didn't know that it came out. It's a beautiful film. I especially like the musical numbers with springtime for Hitler. That was, I don't know how to work that in.

Well, in all seriousness, the music in it was great. It was, yeah. John, fortunately for the world, we only have 30 seconds left. Any final comments? I'd just like to end with my favorite Bible quote. Curse God and die. I didn't hear that. Say it again.

Curse God and die. God and die. That's so beautiful. Thank you for sharing the scriptures with us. It's my bumper sticker. I'm like, Yeah. Oh my gosh.

I believe it because it's in the Bible. Well, it's honestly, we've really covered the gamut. I don't know, whenever this show, this show broke some record. This show broke some records. And ladies and gentlemen,

I apologize. We'll never do it again. Thank you for tuning in. John's Merrick, my friend. Thanks for coming in. Folks, if you didn't get your copy of Revolution,

they are now available. May I recommend it? I just did. Thank you very much. God bless you. God bless America. You've often heard me talk about the golden triangle of freedom, that intersection of faith, virtue, and liberty. And for that triangle to hold, we need access to the truth. Unfortunately, the Medicare system often feels designed to obscure the truth, leaving millions on plans that don't actually fit their needs. That's why I want you to know about Chapter. Chapter is a rare breed in the health care world, a completely independent advice. that puts your interests first. They help you understand your enrollment options and ensure you're getting the benefits you're entitled to

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