The F Plus - 111: Pokemon XXX & Why?

Episode Date: September 26, 2013

Emily Dickinson is often quoted as saying "The heart wants what it wants." She died in 1899, over a hundred years before the popularization of the modern internet. But I put the following question to you: If Emily Dickinson was alive today, would she have an account on the Serebii.net forums? More importantly, and stay with me here, would she go on the Serebii.net forums and participate in a 100 page thread about people who are sexually attracted to Pokemon? You can't, with absolute 100% certainty, say no, which is the same thing as yes. This week, Ampharos promises to be gentle up there.

I also like Misdreavus, Mawile, and Roselia. Mawile! Sorry. It's a lady song in the making. Goddammit. Too powerful of a Pokemon, the Reshiram. Too weak of a human to survive Reshiram. We are together, the strong and the weak. The things we do for love.

The things we do for love. The things we do for love. Rush Rambi. Hey there! This is the F Plus Podcast. Terrible things read with enthusiasm. My name's Lemon. I'm Boots Reingear. Boots, how are you doing?

Oh, great, great. I don't know, I'm just excited to do another episode of our wonderful podcast. What have you got for us, Lemon? Well, I'm just excited to do another episode of our wonderful podcast. What have you got for us, Lennon? Well, I'm glad you asked. So you know that this is the internet that we exist on. Unfortunately, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what the internet has an abundance of, as we're familiar, is fetishists.

Oh, have we done those before? We have done those before, yes. Oh, good. Fetishists and nerds. And we've definitely covered a whole lot of both of those categories. And I think we've covered a little bit of the melding of the two,

but never in like, I want to say a very pure form. So, what I want to bring to you and anyone listening is people who are sexually attracted

to Pokemon. Oh. Okay, so this is different than Pokegirls, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, Pokegirls was its own thing, but this is people who are actually, like, they get boners from Charizard?

That's one, right? Yeah, okay. Squirtle? Yeah, that's one. Right. Pikachu? Well, Squirtle's already its own, likeirtle's already its own double entendre, right? I guess.

It works in that duty. Wait, are you implying that the Pokemon were created for this very purpose? No. No. Of course not. Oh, good. Of course not. Of course not.

No! That's a ridiculous assumption to make. It was made to sell shit to kids. I'm sure somebody believes it. Sure. Of course. Now, you might be wondering, oh, my God, is there a whole forum of people who are sexually attracted to Pokemon? Yeah, is there a whole forum of people that are sexually attracted to Pokemon?

Thank you so much for walking down that tunnel. No, there absolutely is not that. What there is, is a forum with a whole bunch of people and then there's one thread where people are talking about their boners for Pokemon and it goes on for

hundreds of pages. Well, I almost have faith in humanity right now. So yeah, usually an F Plus episode kind of jumping around, topic to topic to topic. Not this time. We got one thread. We are locked on to our Pokemon boners. And it's going to get real sad real quick.

Raiders assemble! In the room tonight, we have... Ice Fagin. Guns Guns Guns Metal Gear. Bunny Bread. Hey ladies. Boots Rain Gear. Oh what then, eh Chappy?

And Lemon. I have the most dynamic voice. Who gets a boner from Pokemon? way beyond belief. The things we do for love. The things we do for love. Who gets a boner from Pokemon? Bunny bread. Kind of a half-mast. Perverts. Oh, yeah. That is the correct answer.

Which one of us? All of us? The other answer is the people in this episode. Today we're going to be looking at a site called Cerebi.net. I don't know what that means. It's Cerebi. Cerebi. Portex is probably bleeding out her ears at this point.

She's not listening to this. Oh yeah, she's like, I'm skipping this episode. Oh yeah, BunnyBread, you're going to be Portex for this episode. She's not listening to this. Oh, yeah. She's like, I'm skipping this episode. Oh, yeah. Bunny bread, you're going to be poor tax for this episode. Yay! Yeah, yeah.

We'll have to pretend to be really grossed. Like, we'll have to pretend to be really grossed out and disturbed by this. No, no, no. Whenever we need to know an actual fact book,

Oh, yeah. I'm there. Yeah, you'll be our Pokemon resource. Are you up for that? Got it. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. So, anyway. Yeah, you'll be our Pokemon resource. Are you up for that? Got it. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So, anyway, so this is the Cerebi. How is that pronounced? Portex? Oh, Cerebi. Okay, great. Forums. And I just have a question that I want to just start out asking here.

My name is Octoboy, and I crush everything. I bet he does, including dreams. My location is in the grave. Anyway, attracted to Pokemon? Is anyone here who's sexually attracted to a Pokemon? I'm not, but I've heard of some people who are. If you are, post and say which Pokemon

if you are incriminate yourself by posting in this way yeah exactly now you would think that a post like that would stop people from posting such a thing but that's not the case I'm

SDP sorry but that's not the case I'm S-D-B S-D-P, sorry I don't know No, S-D-P S-D-P Stone Temple No, no, I'm attracted to Igglybuff

What? Okay Oh, Igglybuff, yeah, okay, let me help you out here Igglybuff. What? Okay. Oh, Igglybuff. Yeah, okay, let me help you out here. Igglybuff is, he was the leader of the Stooges for a little while. Then he went on to have his own little heroin career on his own. His solo career was really good. In addition to that, he's dead. So that's really fucked up that you're attracted to him.

Oh, okay. Yay! This one specific aspect of your sexual attraction to Pokemon is fucked up. Yeah, sorry, pal. I can't get on board with that. My name is Orion Sama. Anyway, yes I am. Got any problem?

Yes. Then GTFO. Dead serious. Everyone's got different opinions. I see no problem with it. You find it sick. The problem comes when stupid people start critiquing others for their tastes and dish out insults as if they were any better. Plus, they're fictional creatures, Rose Eyes.

Oh, well, Pokemon that arouse me include, but aren't limited to. Yeah. So there's a list here. Good. You wouldn't want to do an all-inclusive list. We only have an hour for this fucking podcast. Bellossom. Yeah. So there's a list here. Good. You wouldn't want to do an all-inclusive list. We only have an hour for this fucking podcast. Bellossom. Sure.

Carlia. Right. Carlia. Good. Gardevoir. Roselia. Jinx. Jinx, by the way, is the mammy blackface Pokemon. We know that. Miltank. Goribus, I guess.

Latias, etc. Ooh, oh etc is a nice pokemon oh my god as sicko omg as sicko runzors immaturity and inability of accepting others likes yay for humanity so so i went from i like i'm attracted to pokemon to misanthropy in the same post. It really, it started with misanthropy when you think about it. It's just, yeah, he's just admitted it later. Boots, you are Charizard. Wait, Charizard Fire God. I'm Charizard

Fire God. Oh, hey, what do you have to say? Wait, hang on. Where are you right now, Charizard Fire God? I am in your panties. Be afraid. Oh, that makes me sad. Oh, yeah, definitely some kind of smiley.

It looks like a jeep smiley. Fucking I don't know, you're Smosky. I don't know. It looks like a jeep smile. Oh, and how much I do. Lol, so many that I don't even know where to begin. XD. Footnote. Apparently. Holds dirty thoughts from taking over his mind completely in order to be able to type.

I doubt it. It began with a sexual attraction, Tacharizard, and nine tales. Oh, good lord. Which are nine stories. Which might actually... Nine tales. Four years ago and remained that way until I met a friend to confess it to PC.

Pardon? Then I was desperate to talk to him and eventually got cable internet. Oh, dear. Also becoming able to browse for the Pikmin hentai. So for the listener, Charizard Fire God has this confusing tick where he spells 2-T-A. Yeah. Like in a conversational style reminiscent of For Better or Worse comic strips. Yeah, I don't know.

I thought he held his dirty minds and then he was able to type, but he doesn't seem to be able to type very well anyway. Well, type, not spell. Oh, okay. Anyway, I used my cable internet to browse for Pikmin, Pokemon, Hentai. My first attractions were dragons. Then followed furries. The list eventually growing even more and eventually went over to the sex barriers, too. Becoming attracted to males too.

Wait, wait. Then a heart with a bunch of tumors. So first I was attracted to Pokemon, then I was attracted to furry shit, and then I was attracted to guys! Yeah! Went on full

pervert there. Oh my god. I think it means male Pokemon. Oh. Yes, you're probably right. Charizard, Ninetales, Rayquaza,

Solomons, Latias, Draconite, Flyon, Houndoom, Arcanine, Absol, the Evolutions,

Blackazoon, Tartanian, Rizar, Rhydon, Aerodactyl, Gyarados. Anyway, it's an awfully big list. What? Whoever said Pokemon isn't just a kid's show

was darn right. It is just a kid's show. He's right. Nothing adult happens in those shows. It's a commercial. You're watching them wrong. I want them so bad. To do what?

They don't even have orifices. To quote an earlier episode, a simple deviant art search will prove you wrong, sir. Fair enough. Anyway. I so wish I was a trainer. I'd train them 24-7.

Oh, dude. Rawr. I'd train them to hate life. No, you don't. Extended, very wide bat smiley. Yeah. So you were jerking off to all those guys before. I'm sure you didn't get bored with it just writing them out, did you?

Well, I don't know. I've got to come back to this post. Okay. I've got more things to add to this. Okay, this thing's Ghana needs so much updating. Oh. Lugia, Hua, Artuna, Zapdos, Moltres, Pidgeot, Swellow, Milotic,

Mightyena, and some Anthrode Pokemon. And I agree with AJ Flibble. I get geeky orgasms when I look at Pokemon status and see how big those numbers are. Oh my god. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, so you can get some

non-geeky orgasms as well? Because I've got to imagine every single time you get there, you just scream out like, I don't know. I choose you, dong-a-choo. It's all relative, really. Here's how it sounds. It's, ah, ah, ah, did I do that? Oh, there you go.

Jesus. That's the most offensive thing so far. Jesus. That's the most offensive thing so far. I feel kind of guilty for that. That's a geeky orgasm. Feel kind of guilty, of course. My name is Saichiro Mafune.

Saichiro Mafune. What's up? Oh, dear. Well, guess I gotta take two cents off my account and deposit them in. You guys owe me, by the way. Just so you know, me writing about

getting Pokemon boners is a favor to you. I'm servicing you with this. You're welcome. Anyway, yes, I do find Pokemon attractive. It's natural for a person to feel so, considering that Pokemon like Bellossom, Garvey,

Gardevoir. Gardevoir. Gardevoir. Gardevoir. I read both of those earlier. So apparently they're popular. Well, they're the sexiest ones. Well, Blossom is the myambialic Pokemon. That's pretty awesome.

Wow. 90s. I'd hit it. And Illumice are anthropomorphic enough for people to say the species difference isn't big enough the species is different that's all the difference you need that's really damn it should yes that's that's absolutely how it's supposed to work i have hair the donkey has hair i mean? Pretty much more of the same, yeah. It's like, and he puts it in quotes, like, as though this is, like, a common phrase.

Like, hey, I heard you had sex with a dog. Well, yeah, the species difference wasn't big enough. Ah, high five. Why are we in jail? Anyway. Not guilty. And let me add another argument. When you look at, say, a picture of a hot woman,

do you know what you're looking at? A hot woman? No. A picture of a hot woman. Let me tell you. You are looking at pixelated dots forming an image that, to you, is hot. Damn hot.

Getting Dadaist in here. C'est si n'est pas une vagine. That was beautifully done. Alright. The only difference between something real and something unreal is the fact that the unreal things can't ever get past the pixelated part. So, that makes sense, right? Yeah, I'll follow him.

So you jerking off to a picture of a lady, a real lady, is the actual perverted thing. In fact, as long as we can see people of the opposite gender, those who complain are technically failing in these arguments.

Because we can find people who we don't know hot. We can find people who we don't know hot and have fantasies with it. Reality doesn't mean anything. Hmm. Interesting. Interesting idea you have there. I'm well versed in reality, obviously. So, if I must add some more, which I must.

No, of course not. I'm sold. For the females, there's Bellossom, then Gardevoir, then Illumise, then Mawile, then Miltank, Celebre, Jumpluff, Beautifly, and some others. And then for the males, of course, there's Cyndaquil, Quillava, Typhlosion, Larvitar. That sounds like a venereal disease. Tyranitar. Cyndaquil is what I use to go to sleep at night.

Yeah, I got a bad case of Typhlosion down there. Dustox and Pichu, consult your physician. go to sleep at night. Yeah. I got a bad case of typhlosion down there. Dust docks and Pichu. Consult your physician. Yeah. Yes. I just, by the way,

since Miltank showed up more than once, I looked up Miltank and it's a cow with like udders and yeah. That's pretty odd. Yeah, titties.

Titties. The species difference isn't that big. That's not that big. I also have tits. Yep. And the first beer of the evening? Yes, I know.

I'm depraved. I already got my ticket to hell. Why don't you shut up and let me go on already? I just invented a new game. It's called the Lawyer Game. Just before each of these paragraphs, add, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Yes,

I do find Pokemon attractive. It's natural. Anyway. Hi, I'm SDP. So anyone who has had a few wet dreams about Garni is lying!

Wait, that's not how that works. I'm saying that for a friend. You didn't construct that sentence correctly. Yeah, anyone who says they haven't had. Right. So if you haven't had a wet dream about a Pokemon... I guess you're just living a lie?

Yeah. You haven't lived until you've had a few wet dreams about Guardi? No, it's the secret of truth. Oh. All right. Boots, you're back. Charizard Fire God.

Oh, good. You get to read more red text. Oh, good. My voice has changed since the last time I did this. Yeah. All right. It's me again, Charizard Fire God. What?

You think I'm satisfied with my human shape? You think I'd rather not have scales, wings, and a tail with a burning flame on its tip? Even my smileys are dragon-like. I guess that answers that question about what kind of

fucking smiley that is. Yeah, it's a retarded dragon. That answers that question about what kind of fucking smiley that is. Yeah, it's a retarded dragon. Two eyes with nostrils on either side and a nose in the middle. My tch is a dragon snort. Yeah, no human could make that noise. Yeah. Nope, it is three letters put together that you typed. I'm fine.

Despise me if you want to that bad. Okay. I think I will. Geez, I ain't a poker raper. I really wish that was... They're all over 18. I really wish that was... I said I'm not

that thing that everybody... I really wish that was a misspelling. You said I ain't a poker rapper. I almost said that. Now, poker rap. You said, I ain't a poker rapper. I almost said that. No, poker rapist? Yeah, I'm one of those. Sure. I just don't rap about it. Poker raper.

I don't just pop out of a bush and hump an innocent creature. Make sure that creature has sinned first. I'd never molliced one. Just because I went overboard scarring a few people. Sure. Yeah. Scarring a few people with the intensity of my obsession, and because of its turn-on,

doesn't mean I'm all sex, sex, sex, and don't care about them. In fact, most of my fantasies are pleasuring them in different ways, not doing them against their will. Oh! Well, okay, cool. Then that's not creepy. Yeah. I'm sorry. My opinion of you is improving better and better now. Thank you.

I can't even stand the thought of a Pokemon being molested. It fills me with rage. If you have been... Sorry, wow. Y-A-V-E. If you have read some of my posts, which I later made Yad see,

that I don't put mating instinct into it. Sure. I put feelings into it, too. Oh, so you don't fuck Pokemon. You make love to Pokemon. He's Pokemon demisexual. Oh, why shouldn't Pokemon love each other like people do? They do!

They do love each other, probably, yeah. You're the problem here. They don't exist. Oh, right. Forgot about that part. That's why. Look, my Sig. Perfect example.

I'm sexually obsessed with dragons. Jesus Christ. And yet, there you can see my feelings for them. We're learning a lot about Charizard Fire God here. I ain't a pokey raper. You guys want me to tell you what my sig is? Sure, what the hell?

Sure. Okay. It's a picture of a dragon. Oh, Draco from Dragonheart. That's how Draco from Dragonheart is. You will never be truly gone for within every dreamer beats the heart of a dragon

in memory of Draco died 996 AD so this dragon was in the like actual biblical lore I mean in the sense that AD is being used here yeah this is historically accurate.

I'm not a theologian. I don't know. I don't follow these things. Yeah, this dragon died a thousand years after Jesus. Okay. Coincidence? One thousand years to the day. Resurrection. What understanding could I have expected from anyone? We all have our fetishes.

You said you don't even have the cleanest mind yourself. Why won't you say? I was brave enough to do it. You are brave. Congratulations, Charizard Fire God. Yeah, you were really brave to put your real name on this form and type words into a chat box. Yeah.

My name is Orange Kaus. Punk rock! That's what I have to say. Well name is Orange Kaus. Punk rock! That's what I have to say. Well, that's sissy. Punk rock! Contribute to the dialogue here. So, Claydol,

what was it you said? Just remind me what it was you said. Wow, suicide has never sounded funnier! Speaking of suicide, I'm starting to think Mo' Wild is pretty sexy. Alright, let me look up Mo' Wild and see what that looks like. It wouldn't be suicide. Ampharos would gently

shove his head up my ass and use Thunderbolt to make it feel great. Until there was a bolt of lightning in your ass, it felt terrible. But now... What the fuck? That wouldn't feel good at all.

No, I don't know how you added lightning. Okay, have you ever had Pokemon electrocute your anus? No, but according to that other guy, I'm a liar. anus. No, but according to that other guy, I'm a liar. Okay, also, Salamence would gently put his claws on me

enough to tickle me. Lapras would gently spray cold water on me or put ice cubes on me enough to make my nipples hard, and then gently place his horn in my anus. Can that be

done gently? If you got the right candlelight and Al Green playing in the background, yeah, just about any of this can be gently done. You need to romance your narwhal. Just, you know, just like, you know, gradually. Oh, gradually oh dear yeah you don't go all in

at once you just sort of start out just the tip yeah it's a trust thing with me and my narwhal anyway my pokemon love me almost i'm sorry they love me as much as i love them, and they would never hurt me. Punk rock! They don't love you at all. They're fictional, so... Wouldn't they eventually call the police on you? Do you think they're gonna still love you? All right. Slaking is so fucking manly, I would love him to stick his massive fang up my anus.

Oh, cripes. Did I just say that? Oh, cripes is right. Gee willikers. There's a massive whangup by anus. It's behind Shrike Flamestar.

My name is Shrike Flamestar, and I've got a post. Where are you from? I'm from Illinois. That's not a real place. Get the hell out of my office. First of all, I can see that there's a debate going on here right now over the morality of Pokephilia, as it has come to be called, I suppose. I want to stay out of that, but after doing some thinking,

I just thought I needed to come back and say this. Okay. I retract my earlier comment. I said earlier that I was not attracted to Pokemon, that the whole idea is wrong, but going on a five-day-long vacation to the middle of nowhere has given me plenty of time

to think about my private life. Oh, so you jerked off a whole bunch more than average. Good job. When I said that 47% of all Pokemon were moochers, I was misquoted. For years I've had several conflicts raging inside my mind related to my various fetishes and such, semicolon. The thing is, while I enjoy my fetishes, one part of my mind is trying to convince the other that they are not right. And that it is wrong to be interested in them. that they are not right, and that it is wrong to be interested in them.

One of those fetishes is a thing I mentioned in my previous post that I still do not want to reveal, another semicolon. However, there are others that I have been trying to hide from myself because I do not want to admit that they interest me, that my moral side is taken away from my true self. So your true self is separate from your moral side. That's what you're saying. My morality is completely theoretical. Right brain, don't let the left brain know we're in trouble.

You leave him alone, he's sleeping. For a while now, ever since my obsession to Pokemon really started kicking in, I have known that there was something I was missing. Something that seemed just out of my grasp. It was my cock. Get back here! It's somewhere down there, I know it is. I've been looking for that missing thing, thinking that it may have been related to my primary fetish.

Another semi-coen. However, I can still find nothing that seemed to satisfy me and fill in that gap. thinking that it may have been related to my primary fetish. Another sent me going, however, I can still find nothing that seemed to satisfy me and fill in that gap. Just the other day, as I was sitting in the bathroom in a trailer up on some hill in southern Ohio after my sister... Oh, this story is getting really bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only person in the world who even knows that I have fetishes told me some of her more peculiar interests. I finally realized that it was time to come to a deleted scene from Gummo.

Yeah. I'm in a trailer up in the hills in Ohio with my sister. Also, I fuck everybody. I want a mustache, damn it! I cannot let the conflicts between my moral and true sides continue. Just as easy as that, I suddenly came to several realizations as I overpowered my moral side. Yeah! Take that, bitch!

Yeah. By the way, I call my sister my moral side. Yeah. She's my better half. Including some new fetishes I've been hiding from myself. Other general interests. And that I would love to fuck a Pokemon.

Especially a Queen Lava or Boy Cell. If given the chance. I can no longer lie to myself. I am indeed sexually attracted to some Pokemon, semicolon, namely most, if not all, of my favorites. WeeLava, Absol, Boycell, Flygon, Lino1, and Mightyena all immediately come to mind.

The old me would keep this... I don't want to lie to myself, but you could have lied to us. That would have been nicer. The old me would keep this quote-unquote horrifying revelation to himself. The reason that's in quotes is because everyone keeps shouting it. They don't say it about the revelation, per se. They say it about me most often. But I can no longer keep this cooped up to myself.

My name is Shrike Flamestar. No, it isn't. And I truly am a Pokephile. Wow, so many brave people in this thread coming out under their real names. You're so brave. I have one last thing to say. Yeah? God, I'm getting horny right now just thinking about this topic. This is

so awkward. Awkward? Do you understand what that concept is? Yeah. I don't think so. I'd just like to point out to the listeners that Shrike Flamestar makes about a billion more posts than this and they are all amazing.

Yeah. We could have just had a Shrike Flamestar episode. I don't know. I don't think we can skip the next one. I mean... No, yeah, we should do that. I'll read it. So, you're going through a

slight change in voice, but... No, no, no. Do your impression of Jack. Hi! I'm Shrike Flamestar. I actually prefer to keep sex and vorus separate. And I'm not the kind of vorophile that mixes them together all the same time. Not all vorus gory. Keep that in mind. Of course.

Soft vor can actually be amazingly clean. And now I know there are other vorophiles out there that don't like blood and gore either. I, however, revel in gore and love it. Strange? Yes. Scary? Yes. What the fuck? Are you going to stop reading? Yes.

Do I really? No! Do I really care what other people think of my interests? Yes. Not really. Well, that's pretty apparent because you're sharing them with us. If you cared, you would know that you shouldn't share shit like that. Mmm. Now that my mind has been turned on to being attracted to Pokemon, I wonder if I should write some little stories to go with it,

like I have with Vore. Would be quite a different thing to write about that than my Norm. What is the Norm? Actually, you know what? I don't want to answer that. Norm from Cheers. He owns him. It's his Norm.

That's Norm at you. I'm here to help once more. Thanks. Bunny Bread. Here's a link. You're going to read Phantom Bugsy. Oh, my. This is purrific here. Come on.

My name is Phantom Bugsy. How hot are you? Hang on now. I'm so hot, I'm on fire. Good. I'm glad. Oh, where are you located? Oh, under the Indigo Plateau

You know where it is In a shallow grave Canada So, there is a furry club owned by one of my own friends unfortunately Why is that unfortunate? Because furries are fucked up

Oh, okay I wouldn't have a problem with furries and fucked up. Yeah. Oh, okay. I wouldn't have a problem with furries and pokefowls if they weren't so oversensitive. I mean, a few jerks and they're just all over me. You're a sick fuck, and then they start crying every time. I mean, come on, they're so oversensitive. I know I can get that way over, like, gay people and stuff, but at least gay people are human. More or less.

As I have said, I find the very idea of wanting to fuck an animal disturbing. But I'm sick of being bashed by the idiot furries who don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Omega,

Senefa, we're different than you. Eleven. Yeah. Hitler said he was different too? I really want to invoke Godwin's law, but I can't even make an accurate thing about Hitler. Hitler probably did say he was different at some point

in his life. He was just a loner kept to himself, didn't have a group of people. Yeah. Wait. Anyway, this post is going nowhere. Hitler. I see idiocy on both sides here. What are the two sides

we're talking about? People that want to fuck Pokemon. And people who want to fuck Pokemon more? Because this whole thing is that want to fuck Pokemon and... And people who want to fuck Pokemon more? Because this whole thing is about wanting to fuck... Alright, well. I see idiocy on both sides here. Not as much idiocy from the Pokephiles as from people like Blinking.

Yeah, fuck that guy. I will. I'll get to it. But I will have to side with him. Pointing on a broken arrow or something. Though it's probably bad experiences from... The most elitist fucking sight I've ever seen that make me do that. Well, you know what they say, wanting to poke Pokemon or not makes strange bedfellows.

Yeah. Why do they keep saying that? I've never understood that phrase at all. I assumed it was a metaphor for something, but I can't figure out what. It's fine. Take Dimitar. Not the whole post, but just the last quote response there. Okay.

Responding to Horndrill, who said, Well, I think my inner slow king just awoke and I want to wear a giant peen peen on my head too, grinny face. Sure, right. Non-plussed face. I guess. It's either that or Morse

code, but anyway. To keep up with the off-topic fetishes, I've got a thing for planes too. I noticed it about a month ago when I was flying. What the fuck? The plane was like, I want you inside me. I was already inside the plane, so it was great.

A cup open bracket love days ago, a plane flew right over us. I'm pretty sure that was the closest I've seen a plane's underside, and I gotta say it turned... And I gotta say it turned me on pretty bad.

Too bad it was gone in a flash. Wow. First time this thread goes a day without posting. Nice. Considering I'll be gone the next three days, nobody cares, but okay. Everyone's checking up with that one dude. Hey!

What's Dimitar up to? Oh, I think he's gone. Oh, shit, man. I care so much about that. Chapter 1. A new era. Mmm, yeah, honey. You're so big. I love it. Wait, this is the beginning of the book? Yeah, yeah.

The story? So it's the end for some of us that pulled the trigger too quick. Wait, can we... What? We don't get to do the keywords? Oh, fine, fine. Okay, so this is a story called... This is a story called Royal Flush. So that's fun.

It's probably like a sort of follow-up to Casino Royale, I think. Sure. Definitely a poker reference. Anyway, so here's the summary. The tale of one houndoom whose many hardships make him decide to give up on love. But this Valentine's Day, there are those in the world who would rather see him happy as well as see him suffer even more. Either or. I would like both those things.

So here's some keywords. One of them. Here's what you should expect. All right. Here's some keywords. No, one of them. Here's what you should expect. All right.

You should expect oral, anal, vaginal, exhibitionism, school, MF, Lucario, Quilava, Anthro, Pokemon, Lapunny, Houndoom, Absol, Valentines, Day, Tyranitar, Cupid, Persian, Bellossom, and Raw 19. I think that's like a nuclear weapon arming code. President has the football. President has the football. Oh, shit. There's going to be dialogue. Oh, okay.

This is great. Okay. This is long. Oh, my God. I can't read all this. So there's going to be some skipping, but okay. It breaks into script format at one point. This is long. Oh, my God. I can't read all this. There's going to be some skipping, but... Okay. It breaks into script format at one point.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So we need to get to that point. Anyway. Mm, yeah, honey. Chapter one, a new era. Mm, yeah, honey. You're so big, I love it. The lap bunny, Aya, moaned around the rock-hard cock of the Tyranitar, Onyx,

sitting in front of her in the bed. I know you do, baby. Onyx groaned in reply, his scaly hand on the top of her head, moving it up and down his eight-inch prick. And I love how hot and sweet your mouth is. He slid into her throat and swallowed his swollen rock... Rock head? Rock head.

His rock head. Is it... Now, there's something I do know about Pokemon is Onix is a different kind of Pokemon. Okay. So... No, Onix is the name of this... Yeah, it's the name of the Tyranitar, and his name is the name of another Pokemon. Yeah.

So this person is so uncreative, they used... He's... No, this Pokemon's an otherkin of an Onix-type Pokemon. Yeah. So this person is so uncreative they used... This Pokemon's an otherkin of an Onix. Oh, that's why he has a rock head, okay. Yeah. Because he's an Onix. Bunnybread, are you back? No.

Because there's dialogue. Okay, sorry. What do I need? Okay, so right here and there's dialogue. Dialogue? I think, I don't know, what do you want?

Well, while you're figuring that out, I'm going to read this sentence. Onyx grabbed Aya's waist and slammed her down against his hips, his pride immediately filling her cunny. She cried out in pain that quickly became pleasure, as they both knew she liked it rough, and instantly started riding his pole with a bandit. Wait! Say my name, stud, I demanded,

leaning over him so his breast dragged across his diamond-shaped chest and the large fluffy ears for which her species was famous for. For which her species was famous for. That's what I'm going to concentrate on, the bad grammar. Oh, don't get me wrong, dear. I really do enjoy having sex with you.

I've always loved how your natural fire heated my body from the inside out, even on really cold nights. It was very hot, she said with a chuckle, between moans as she continued to bounce on the onyx, who lay chuckling as well. They were just laughing, the whole time was funny. And highly amused by this turn of events. But, as fun and fiery as that was, you're not, just really not big enough to satisfy me. I've always liked being completely filled.

Having my honey pot utterly tamed by large pricks. And Onyx is the biggest in the city. Really, I've looked. The biggest city. Wait, sorry. One more time. The biggest prick in the city. Yeah!

Onyx chose that moment to come. Shoving his cock fully into the Lop Honey's tight asshole. And filling it up with his dark-type jizz. She cried out his name as her climax hit her with the force of a runaway train, and knocking the breath out of her. Erebus stood there calmly, keeping eye contact with Aya and refusing to leave until he got an answer, which Aya gave after a moment.

So we just... I got the next sentence? Just grab whatever you want. Actually, no, I think we should get to the dialogue part because it's fucking awesome. Bunnybrite, you should be the doc. Okay. And then, I guessots take Lackin

Am I a sort of rabbit here? I don't know I'll be play-a-hater Okay Then I gotta be Ms. B. Gatton Ms. B. Gaten And I think that's it

Yeah Oh, perfect What's up doc Hey what's cracking like it It's been a while Has it really Heck yeah it has You haven't logged on in three weeks

Geez I didn't even notice Sorry about that man What's wrong cuz You been sick or what Nah my mind's been shut for a while. Just having some rough edges in life, you know. Rough spots, man. But I thought your life was looking up ever since you started dating that senior chick. She stop giving you some or something? What? She stop giving you some or something?

Yeah. That's how people talk. Yes. Something like that. Oh, geez. Don't tell me she was sleeping around. I can't stand chicks like that. Give me her number if you're done with it.

Well, if I said she wasn't, I'd be lying. Play the hater and miss be getting logged in. Hi, guys. What up, geez? Black and I see you. Hi, guys. What up, Jace? Lacking I see you in a while. What's up, shorty?

Doc, how's it been? Well, oh, God. I must change. You know it is. Same shit. Different day. Ain't that the truth, son? Sad truth.

Aga, did you read the above yet? Yeah, I read it, bro. Lack and Squeeze been giving everybody a good time except him, no? Yeah, more or less. This is quite a fucking minstrel show that's been written for us. Maybe you guys. fucking minstrel show that's been written for us. Maybe you guys.

I didn't even read any of the dialogue before I decided on Juggler. I'm putting a little cream in this coffee. She had to go and screw the one guy I can't stand the most in the world. Nor did she bother to stop screwing him after I walked through the door. I mean, what kind of person does that? Oh, shit.

Oh, sorry, is that me? Yeah. Misby Gaten is the kind of person that does that. Damn, dog! That's messed up! I'm sorry to hear that! Yo! Jesus.

Lemon doubled down. This script is racist, so the points are going to be two. Like, yeah, it's Wayans Brothers all up in the shit right now. Yo, it's hoes and wenches like her. Wenches, that's an urban word. Yeah, people who say hoes also say wenches a lot. Yo, it's hoes and wenches like her that give all the other ladies out there bad name, y'all.

Word! Half of the... Yo, MTV'all. Word! Half of the... Yo, MTV Reps. Half the guys don't even want to give nobody a chance, because they got burned by some hoes in the past. Yeah. That is really messed up, cuz.

That done happened... Yo, god damn it. That done happened to me a few months back, and I ain't been feeling the female since. I'm into it. Just so you know, this doesn't go anywhere. That's alright. We were all reading this for the resolution

and the plot. Neither does a fucking 101-page post about being sexually attracted to Pokemon. I'm still attracted at all, yo, but I can't put my full heart and soul into no relationship no more. You feel me? I feel you, man.

So what you gonna do now, lag? What am I gonna do? I don't even know. This wasn't even my first relationship. Those went bad, too. This time was the worst, though. My life wasn't gonna go that good before all this, but I think this might

be a clear message that I'm just not destined to be happy. Oh, you're a young brother with a dream, aren't you? Yeah, I'm just going to keep my head down, try to move on with my life. I'm going to forget about love. It might be for other brothers, but apparently it ain't for me. So you're either the protagonist of the story

or the kid that gets shot like a third of the way in. I just want to remind people that this is the same post. This is in the same post as the porno we were reading earlier. Yeah, yeah. No, it doesn't. This is the same story, yeah. It's just a couple paragraphs down as a matter of fact. This is immediately after the the Trinitar

It makes no sense. of the rabbit Yeah, Chief. You still have someone special. And I hope that keeps working out for you, man. But I'm over it and done with it. Listen, this reminded me that I ain't even had a man look even my way for a few years.

I think I'm going to follow your example, Akin. Oh, you are going to get killed. Sorry about that. That's totally. You're fucked. We're going to have a dance battle in your honor. That one person's going to be in slow-mo screaming out, everyone, as we all get shot. And give up upon love myself.

If there were a higher power that actually cared about us common folk, which might be a Pokemon, I think. Are we Pokemon? I don't know. I have no idea. We're the students at Poke. They went straight from the sex scene into this script.

So I have no idea. Anyway, if they're a higher power character, must have come and felt, when they dropped us a line, dropped us a hint, it ain't the biggest religious freak in the park, but I know too that much to be obvious. You got a point there, Miz, and I can't say I blame you guys.

Too much longer and I'll be liable to give up myself. I'm out for that one though, peeps. I gotta go pick up my little sister from school. Me too, guys. I'm in class right now, and I'm nearly positive the teacher sent me a few clips. Is this just them text messaging each other in school?

I don't know. There is no... It's a conference call. The only... Okay, the only setup for this script sequence is one month later. So one month after the sex scene, there are people chatting somewhere.

Hey, y'all. Peace, man. I hope things get better for you. By the way, remember that Pokemon ass cream? Later, homeboy! Don't be a stranger! Oh, shit. And then, does it get back

to hardcore fucking? Ares cursed his haste as the arrow hit him full in the head, blasting him back into the Far East Wall. His head slammed into the diamond-studded wall

as he collapsed to the floor in a heap. He was still conscious, though, the arrow hardly being enough to kill an immortal like himself. But try as he might, he was unable to move. Era raised an eyebrow in amusement. Oh, did I make you angry? What are you gonna

do about it? I'm not gonna write you a love song! Cause you asked for it, cause you need one! You see, I'm not gonna write you a long song! you asked for it cause you need one you see I'm not gonna write you a long song cause you tell me it's make or break in this if you're on your way you're not gonna

write I'm not gonna write you to stay if all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better reason to write you a love song today that's much better. Oh, I'm sorry. I haven't even introduced myself. You can just

call me Coup. The Lucario said with a friendly smile and then gestured back at the Magikarp. I... Meanwhile, in sex ed, Miss Sue, is sexual stimulation through the penis the only way for a male to pleasure a woman? Only, I've already tried that several times in the past,

but it's very hard to mount a female, and it's very uncomfortable to lie on my back for too long. Life would probably be a lot simpler if that were so, Emeril. No, there are plenty of ways to pleasure your partner. Usually it depends on the species. For instance, a member of the plant species, much like yourself, can always use their vines to stimulate the sensitive areas of the partner. Like the breasts and nipples and vaginas and ass. Could you talk a little slower, please? I'm trying to take notes here.

Those who are more human in nature, like the jinx or the lopunny, can also use their hands or mouths to stimulate the previously mentioned areas, and can, in turn, be stimulated themselves in those areas. Also, all beings, including humans and Pokemon, like the Porygon species, who have no visible and obvious delicates, can be stimulated by way of massage, as all parts of one's body are inherently sensitive. So even though he doesn't have a dick, give him a handjob. Yeah. You may accidentally give him a handjob just by hugging him. This is so long. It keeps going. Oh, my God. Yeah, I just want a real quick one.

I want to make sure that this is never read in context. It was that Persian girl from the courtyard. All the students in the school he could have bumped into, and yet... I was not staring at your chest! ...Era cried in indignation, earning a few stares from the passersby. That Persian girl. Something tells me that's not the nationality. That's her name.

That's her name. That Persian girl. Damn tells me that's not the nationality. That's her name. That's her name. That Persian girl. Damn it, Coon. This couldn't wait till later. I was tired, she complained in an odd moan slash growl. You can be tired after this mission, he stated, balls slapping against her rectum. Right now, you can shut up and take it. He leaned over, rubbed his face in her titties, and drew a soft

nipple into his mouth, biting on her own breast and drinking her milk. It was a little-known fact that Nido Queen's chest plates were cream-colored because of the large amount of milk they carried in there, but unlike a milk tank's liquid, only poison types could safely drink it. Asshole.

So it's poison milk? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's poison milk? Yeah. Yeah, I think that's true. Yes. Are you not finding more shit? I think this whole thing's terrific. Oh, I'm on a different story, and I'm just going to read it

even though it's a very different story. Sure. I can feel it now. I'm bleeding out. I'm dying. I coughed up blood. A bad sign. This guy obviously won't stop

until either one of us is dead. Each stab bringing less and less pain. I'm dying. I coughed up blood. A bad sign. This guy obviously won't stop until either one of us is dead, each stab bringing less and less pain. I need to live. With a shout, I managed to shove him off me. I clutched my stomach, now representing a bloody mess of meat. I reached behind my back to grab the pistol the scientist obviously didn't see with my right hand. Die, motherfucker, I said

scathingly. Scathingly? Oh, shit! That was so cutting the way you said die, motherfucker. You're really selling it here. How did he know I fucked my mother?

And that was another Pokemon story? Like, really? Like, these people write just assuming that like, well, everything on this site is going to involve Pokemon,

so they don't even bother, like... It was a Pokemon story labeled 18+, maybe 18 plus for violence. Maybe some harsh language. I went to the AGNPH about page, and it says, what is AGNPH? This page is not

ready yet. So they've got forums... Jill Jerkin, come back later! They've got these forums where, because I wanted to know what it stood for, right? A-G-N-P-H? But they've just got these forums of just people writing

these huge, long Pokemon sex stories, but nobody explains what the actual acronym means. Flashback! BuddyBread? You're a lot more open than I thought you'd be,

Onyx said, as if merely commenting on it being a little chilly in the room. I guess your pet dragon must do this to you every night. Shauna glared at him over her shoulder, refusing to comment even though he was nearly right, and refusing to make so much as a pained whimper, no matter how much his seemingly studded cock hurt.

Drake was a breath bigger than his prick, but he had always been a lot gentler. He's bigger than his prick! That's good! Just a little bit. I do am bigger than my prick. I swear! I will never understand what goes on in that anthro's mind. You actually use these human contraptions?

Shu said in disbelief. Shauna merely glared at him as he ripped off her bra and stood back to admire her bust. Wow, that's some really nice fun, Banshee, that there tux. Such a shame they're wasting it on you. Ouch. He commented before burying his face between her breaths. He commented. And breathing in her scent.

You know, you don't need to lick your titties at that point, because you've already made her as wet as she can possibly be. That's true. Fun bags. Toots. I'm looking at a thread on the Storyfinder type thread. There's a post in here by BlackCat13. For the first time,

I might be remembering from somewhere else, just in case it is here somewhere though, I think it has had around six to seven chapters, including the prologue. And after she evolved, she had sex with a male Eevee, which evolved into an Espeon and later a female Eevee,

who was a princess of a kingdom that had banned Umbreon's. Good. Oh yeah, that was gone with the wind. Flashback. The Dragonite was gone with the wind. Oh. Flashback! The Dragonite was staring at his own crotch. Drake was being held in such a way that his upper back was against the ground, paralyzed arms hanging uselessly over his head and his ass in the air.

Onyx was crouched low over Drake's ear, holding his beefy legs up in each of his muscular arms and keeping Drake's long tail out of the way with his own while he plunged his rock-hard phallus deeply between his buns. Urgh! So this is what it feels like. Can't say it's one of my favorites.

End flashback. It's not good writing when you have to tell the reader when the flashbacks begin and end. I want to know what brought that flashback on. It reminds me. How did that thematically make sense in the story? She began to rub her lower half slowly against mine. The feelings tingled throughout my body as it did hers.

I want you inside me, she spoke lustfully, letting go of all her nervousness. Her feathers so gentle, lovingly struck against my body, making my back arch up slowly as I began to harden. She knew she wanted this, and my body knew I wanted it too. My pink member, hard as it could get, made its way into her warm, already wet cooch. I slowly pushed in halfway when Jewel let out a small gasp of pain. I quickly pulled out, asking if she was alright. She was silenced once more by the soft lips as his hand went back to tracing the curves of her ass. Their eyes remained open, telling each other what they didn't need words to say.

When his yellow eyes turned a beautiful golden orange, she always thought he was able to see right into her heart and soul. His smile was wide. He grabbed her tail again. The slight pressure was somehow erotic to her, making her mouth fall open in a sharp intake of air. He planted a soft kiss on her cheek as he started kissing another trail down her body, disappearing from her view once more. She felt his teeth lightly nip at the furry flesh above her cunny. His hand slid along her inner thigh ever so slowly.

Stop gazing me, she said with a quiet gasp. I could hear it, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty... Shut the fuck up, bitch! Coon growled, removing his prick from her now semen-coated chest and shoving it into her mouth. Wait, his prick was actually in her chest. Oh, shit! Let me get that out of there, sorry!

I'm so sorry that wasn't there! This heart surgery has gone really long, hasn't it? I get clumsy sometimes, I'm sorry. She gagged at the sudden intrusion, his cock hitting the back of her throat. He grabbed the back of her head and began rapidly forcing it up and down his rod, groaning aloud at the feel of her wet mouth encasing him and her hot tongue loosely brushing against his member. You better get used to the fact that we're in control here

and you have no say in anything we do. Now fuck it! and you have no say in anything we do. Now suck it! So, so where am I? Umbreon asked Mew. It knew that Mew was a legendary Pokemon. Surely she knew what was happening now.

Why do I feel so tired and weak? And what is this bright light peering through my eyelids? It's quite simple. You see, you're presently being cooked within the confines of a large oven to improve your flavor for when you're eaten by your captors. You told the Umbreon, eaten? I'm being cooked?

Dot dot dot. For food? Oh my God. I always liked Grimm's fairy tales, but I thought they needed more pokefucking. I thought they needed more people explaining what situations they were in right after they'd been explained to them. Oh, oh, here we go. Though things were hardly as fun for Reluxray, shoes rump rose and fell with each one of her reluctant deep licks, and he panted lewdly each time. Though she normally enjoyed the taste of her mate's seed,

that could hardly hold true for licking it out of Weevil's ass. Wait! Come on! And it was in there deep. Her pride was all but shattered. What the hell, baby? I thought you said you liked cum! Yeah, but there's got be something to set for presentation. Her pride was all but shattered as she cleaned

the ivory mess from her assailant's tail hole. Oh, that's poetic. That's really nice. It didn't help that every now and then he'd dunk his sack in her open mouth, teabagging the poor ethro. That doesn't help! You should really stop doing that, it's kind of rude.

It only added even more insult to injury, and she could practically feel him getting off on it. Practically. Shoving balls in someone's mouth was done. I practically like that. So I got this girl in the sex and it arena. Getting ready to put my pokey flute in between her. First I take it slow bro, you know, play it tentacool. When I polywag my weedle, oh how it

makes her drool. I'm hard as a rock and this girl seems hooked on onyx cause she puts her meowth in my pidgey and takes it like a bong hit. Then she's starting to machoke which isn't very cool. I don't want to risk the chance, see, of being tentacruel with the greatest swiftness. And there we go! We're at about an hour of...

Fuck-a-ly puff. I feel so gross right now. Boots, what'd you learn this week? I didn't really learn anything, but I did... I do have a lot of questions. Sure, okay, well ask them to, and I'll pretend like I know the answers. Uh, like, like, Pokemon, they don't have, like, they don't have

gender, like, they don't have sex, do they? Like, they, do they... Well, they don't have genitals. Like, Bump Girl's yelling at me in the background. Like, yeah, they don't have genitals. Um, so I guess there's no, I guess there's no gender to them. Right. But yeah, they don't have genitals. So I guess there's no gender to them.

Right. Although there's possibly some implied gender in there. I think they're called... Maybe they're called by pronouns? I don't know. I'm not poor text. I do not know enough about the subject. Yeah, we're just in the dark here, really. Right.

So... I guess... I don't know, it seems really puzzling. Just like, so many fetishes have been so confusing, but always in such different ways. And this one, especially because it's so far from world animal logistics. It actually brings me to mind of the path, the sort of fan path. It brings me to mind of an angry comment that we had a long time ago now, probably a bit of a year ago, on the F Plus site. THEFBL.us, by the way.

But we had an angry comment saying, hey, you guys like Adventure Time. Like, why don't you make fun of Adventure Time fans like you? And the thing is, is that, yeah, both you and I, we like Adventure Time. This fifth season that they had? Terrific. I mean, so many terrific episodes. But it's a TV show that exists as a TV show.

It's a drawn cartoon by a guy and a team of animators and some writers and Tom Kenny and it's a TV show that exists and is appreciated in its own merit. And it needs to live

in that box. Yeah, that's such a big thing about nerd culture is taking things out of that box. Right. And putting them in their pants. And that's wrong. Putting them in their own box,

I really would have appreciated more, but that's fine. That's fine. The website, as always, that's a mention, thefpl.us. Leave yourself some comments and go to Ball Pits.

Yeah, it's ballp.it. Tell us which Pokemon you most want to fuck. Or to have fuck you. You know, I... Tell us which Pokemon you most want to fuck. Or to have fuck you. Tell us which Pokemon you most want to see engaged in tribalism? Fraudage. Fraudage, yeah.

Alright, goodnight! Goodnight. Goodnight. Here's a, here's a, uh, from the same forum. Uh, here's a poll. Uh, you can choose options one, two, or three. Option one, love. Option two, rape. Option three, other.

I don't see a difference between the options. Did an asexual make that poll? Actually, yes, probably.