The F Plus - 115: Why Can't Social Studies Be More Like Call Of Duty?

Episode Date: November 11, 2013

One of the reasons why so many movies and televisions shows are set in high school is because, to varying degrees, the high school experience leaves an indelible mark on all of us. Our first experiences with sexual rejection, social politicking, and your own purpose in a greater society - these are difficult concepts which frustrated many of us when we were teenagers. And then, as we learned from school-survival.net, these can also be concepts some of us never grasped, and never could manage to get over. This week, The F Plus wants you to lose weight for school pictures.

What do you campaign for? Oh, what do I campaign for? I campaign for the separation of school and state. Hey there, this is the F Plus Podcast. Terrible things, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, high school but sure just like like like memories of high school you're having troubles with yeah specifically letting go of a lot of uh anger and frustration at uh what what seems like nothing but it still just it has to find a home somewhere sure sure so you are like a grown-up right uh yeah technically grown up with a like you know job and an apartment and a girlfriend. Yeah.

And you still can't get over the jocks that made fun of you? Yeah, I can't get over people who look at me the wrong way or how my parents wanted me to sit still for pictures. Hey, that's okay. I want to introduce you to schoolsurvival.net. Schoolsurvival.net. Okay. Yeah.

So schoolsurvival.net. If you go, it has the color scheme you would expect. Red and black. Yep. Red and black. And there are forums. Oh. And so you can go into the forums, and this is a place for people to talk about shit that doesn't matter in any way.

People like me? Yeah, it's about surviving the school experience, about how put upon you are. Right, I'm very special, and therefore school is crushing my special spirit, so I need to commiserate with other special people. Yeah, there might be a little bit of talk of unschooling in there as well. Oh, thank God. So there we go, school survival forums, dumb teenagers, it's on! Readers assemble! In the room tonight we have Isfahan.

The video I made for YouTube won't upload. If anyone cares, it's me talking about anti-video game crusaders. Adam Bozarth. Robots have hard times when they aren't frequently commanded and made to obey. Boots Rain Gear. It seems the influence of the SS is spreading. And Lemon. Certain military leaders have used retreat to trick their enemies

and then ambush them to slice their heads off and use their skulls to drink their blood. Oh, we're doing school survival. Schoolsurvival.net. Oh. It's a little too late for me. I already survived. I work at one, so maybe that'll help. Sure.

So nobody's going to ask me what school survival is? Lemon, what is school survival? You know, fucking teenagers being dumb. Oh. We had to dig deep for that. teenagers being dumb. Oh, that's... You had to dig deep for that. Yeah, yeah. A topic

we're probably familiar with a little bit. But, this is, you know, it's about teenagers kind of like spending their time together in sort of a unity and oneness and all making the most intelligent decisions together, learning from each other's experience to really be like the best human beings possible.

So to that end, Adam, you are Sirik Damascus, and you have a question about your living situation. Hi, I'm Sirik Damascus. Yeah, you're anonymous. And you have a question about your living situation. Hi, I'm Sirik Damascus. Yeah, you're anonymous. I am wearing an anonymous mask. I am totally anonymous. Totally independently into Guy Fawkes. I'm not giving up on this just because of this other shit.

I like the movie. Did I do what was right? I don't know. That's all. Did I do what was right? I don't know. Let's find out. Okay, to start, me and my parents have had a very bad year with me boot camp threatening and stuff like that and hitting me and me hitting back. This is what happened today. Hitting me and me hitting back. All right. Who's boot camp threading?

Boot camp threading. Boot camp threading. My grandpa got mad because I put the toaster down too harsh. What? Yeah, I did. Wow. Okay. I put the toaster down to harsh. Right. Right.

So it's like crispy, like faint toasting harsh. So I put the toaster down to harsh. Then he went up to me, but his arms out like he's going to punch me. I do not let anyone touch me. Sure. Okay. So when he did, I grabbed the arms like one of the moments in Call of Duty where you have to press X to move their arms, then hit

them by pressing B. So I pushed till his arms were at his chest. This is a buff grandpa! He is 67 and builds cars with homemade parts by himself! It's a good thing he was playing Call of Duty

recently, not God of War. Those QuickTime events would have been really trouble. Then I wrapped a chain around his head and I tightened it until his head popped off like in God of War. This is a buff grandpa. It's a buff grandpa. When is the buff grandpa episode? Grandpa OP. So I dropped what I had in my

hand, sprinted out the front door, and ran off. Quote, The corrupt fear us. The honor support us. The heroic join us. We are anonymous. We are legion. United as one. Divided by zero. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect

us. I am an idealist. I am an intellectual. I do not speak unless spoken to. Do not mess with me, and I will not mess with you. Actually, you are a intellectual. A gay idealist. I'm sorry. I just scrolled down and saw the response.

That's hysterical. Okay. So, Isfahan, you are 55555. You're watching me masturbate. Thanks for that. Hello. I am Pipe5555. Pipe.

Perfect. You believed you were in danger of being physically harmed and acted in self-defense, not inflicting any more damage than was necessary to disarm the situation. I don't see how you can possibly feel guilty about it, regardless of if it was a misunderstanding or if you were in actual danger. It's a good thing you acted in self-defense, even though there was nothing to

defend against. Well, he had something in his hand. I really do believe that the guy that equates a fistfight to it being a quick-time event in Call of Duty totally kicked somebody's ass. That's your point of reference? I believe you, then. It's like when you have to press B, and then you're in the next part of it, and you press B. The only way I can describe the situation

is by comparing it to a quick time event in a popular video game. Because sometimes it's why if you're on his side, it's why. He had to backspace all that out. TMI. Boots, Timoth.

Attacking and defending physically is an indication that things are really bad Sure Your choice to leave was probably best So you're out on the lam now? Like are you Physical assault and defense Usually are the natural next step

After emotional attack and defense To be able to change this environment of pain Can be difficult And may require you to act with great restraint. Humor can be a useful tool. I love, like, teenagers that, like, think they're deep and have, like, understanding of, like, emotional healing. I'm wise behind my ears.

I've seen this before on a different forum. For example, if your grandfather is going to punch you, you can let him. Oh, all right. He probably won't break anything, and you can milk it for a lot. Whoa. Whoa. You might be able to get Call of Duty Ghost out of it. For example.

Call of Duty ghost out of it. For example. For example, also within this example, there's another example apparently. You could fall on the floor pretending to have been really hurt and look on up at him and ask this was for toast? Jesus. Jesus

Christ. So next time you play this event in Call of Duty buff grandpa. Yeah. Press Y to fall. Press Y to fall. Press B to guilt. B, B, B! B, B, B, B, B! B, B, B! You really gotta mash it.

Okay. So. I wanted to share with you something. This is... My name is Miller 0700, and I'm here to save you. And, well, I wasn't picked as a valedictorian at my old high school, surprisingly enough. But if I was, then this would have been my going-away speech, if I could be completely honest about it. Webster's Dictionary defines it.

I love how he thinks it's the valedictorian going away speech. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like all the ifs in this preamble. If I was valedictorian. If anyone gave a shit about what I'd say. Okay. So, this is what I would say is my valedictorian speech. Thank you.

I stand here today as a result of four years of rigorous and lengthy training in our glorious high school. Oh, he's going for sarcasm. Okay. Glorious. I use that not to gild a lily or anything. I stand here a proud and shining example of what dignity, respect, and responsibility can do for me. respect and responsibility can do for me. I stand here downright expected by everyone here to give everyone here some sort of positive and heartwarming speech

to play into this happy atmosphere, but I can't. Not anymore. I can't stand here and outright lie to you about my experience coming here simply because this is supposed to be a joyous celebration. In truth, these were some of the worst years out of my 18 years of growing up. Growing up, yeah, you've been doing a lot of that. Thank you so much for picking me as valedictorian. I kid you not, there was not really one day that I could say I was sincerely happy about

coming here to this graduation ceremony. And you're not the valedictorian? Yeah. Nope. Almost all my days here were filled with fear, sadness, depression, and sometimes utmost rage at what laid ahead of me day by grueling day. I am really just... This florid prose does not suit me. I can't

really express the intense anger or hatred of being forced to endure these four years of torture without making a fool of myself in front of anyone. So, I'll try and keep it civil. Good thing you're avoiding making a fool of yourself in front of everyone.

I'm just blowing minds, that's all. And then the high school band immediately starts playing pomp and circumstance. The principal's back there pinwheeling his hand. Playing him off. So, what can I say? Well, what I can say, first off, is that the Prussian system of compulsory schooling has gotten its money's worth. Why are all of you looking at the sky right now? I mean, seriously, this school prides itself for being an amazing hub of, quote,

dignity, respect, and responsibility. But look at us. We have a principal, which is the wrong principal. No, they have a principal. We have a principal, a Prussian principle, who gladly enforces restrictive, tedious, and often pointless rules on us, all of which were all put in place by an old,

rude, and senile old man who was forcefully removed because of these facts. I'm digging up some dirt. Don't try and keep it civil. God? Old, rude, old, senile, old. Boots, you just made the speech even edgier. Thank you.

We learn all of these useless and pointless facts so that we'll later forget and not really care about in a week with no real reason to learn them. or I said so, all in an atmosphere where we can't express any sort of dissent or differing opinion without being yelled at, scolded, punished, or even expelled for it. That's not a learning environment. It's a factory, and we're all cogs in a machine. Oh, that's why he has an old high school. It's a factory, and we're cogs. Yeah, we've got to put our bodies on the gears and the books and the gym shorts and upon all of the apparatus. I made valedictorian for my wonderful metaphors.

Ready for life? We have a third of our teachers who are narcissistic. You know which ones you are. And gloat about how superior they are to us. The other third can't get a dog to shut up and behave, let alone a class. What kind of school do you go to? Listen here, you. I'm the teacher and what I say goes. See?

Guys, guys, please be quiet, guys. I'm a villain in a Saturday morning cartoon. And the other third took their personal problems out on us. So now you can throw that respect, dignity, and responsibility crap right out the window because you won't find that with me or most of the kids here. And that reminds me, where would I be without you guys? I mean, really, where would I be without you guys? It's all in italics.

Happier. I can say that for sure. You guys aren't saints. I'm not even sure who I'm talking to here. Yeah. Is it the other students or the teachers? I think it's the other students. It's the other students.

The real reason I hated coming to this school was mostly because of you guys. And you're really going to sit up here and smile at what crap we've dealt among each other? Really? Look at yourselves. Some of you guys were horribly pretentious, cruel and heartless and hot-headed who frequently took your anger out on the rest of us, and some of you guys... Not me, though. And some of you guys were immature,

horribly unfunny, and annoying children. More like bitter Victorian. It's like next year we funny and annoying children. More like bitter Victorian. It's like next year we can't select on academics alone. First come, first served.

That's our policy. Actually, if this guy was a valedictorian, then holy shit, maybe the rest of the school was... It's a prison. It's a factory. Oh, yeah. Who goofed off way too much for any of us to get work done whatsoever.

And what resulted was a student body who was too divided and too deep in their own mess to actually do anything for themselves. Pathetic. Simply pathetic. Teenagers having their head up their ass, caring about irrelevant shit. It's a travesty, I tells ya.

They're dreamers. They are silly hearts. And lastly, I've had crushes on those two girls right over there ever since I was a freshman. My balls are the bluest you will ever

see. This is the young Pua's valedictorian speech. Just what these two girls wanted to hear. Now that I've talked about how bad the school is, I'm going to go into my sexual frustration. No, no, they're all winking back at him. Oh, he's so dreamy now. Oh, and he's like Judd Nelson in this scene. It's really making all the girls wet.

Oh, and shout-outs to a few of the My Only Friends. And shout-outs to a few of the My Only Friends. Okay, good. I did read that right. Some bright but quiet kids over there. And some of my favorite teachers in this entire school. I wonder which third they're in. My only sense of happiness

from this school came from those group of people over there and only them! I hope your guys' journey into life are all amazing and I hope it's not too tainted from the atmosphere of this school. I love you guys to death and I'm sure as hell

gonna miss you. Peace! I'm out, y'all. Raises both middle fingers high into the air. Sticks tongue out, all while waving diploma in the air. Presumably with the middle fingers. Okay. Takes a leave out of the auditorium, leaving a stunned, angry, saddened, and secretly overjoyed audience behind him. Yeah, secretly. So he's even God-moding the reaction.

I was so cool, everybody loved it. He stuck his diploma on the end of one finger, so he's got one really big middle finger. No, no, he just, like, he pierced it like a club sandwich, you know? Too thick with an awl. I imagine he expands beyond that to even, like, the bullies that mistreated him so far. Their parents are just like,

son, I heard what you did to the valedictorian, and I'm disappointed. You're not going to college anymore. You didn't beat his ass harder. No ski trip! You didn't fuck that guy! Okay. I think I really put the dick in valedictorian

Really? You're going to applaud that joke? Really? Well, I like a clap like that monkey That you wind up And it plays the cymbals Very easy Okay Hey Adam, how are your career prospects turning out lately?

Oh, boy. Now that you're at the bottom of the cliff. Here's another link. How are your career prospects turning out? Are they good? Oh, my personal ones? Yeah. Well, I'm talking about Avi Bird, of course.

Oh, well, oh, yes. Well, Avi Bird. Let me ask Avi Bird. Is Avi Bird here? He's a world changer. You can tell because he's posted on this forum 149 times. Oh, yeah. My name is Avi Bird, and I'm a world changer.

Everybody wants to post on school survival. I haven't learned a single thing about surviving in school so far. It'll happen. You just got to give good speeches. Okay. Yeah, this is all... Yeah, this is the post stuff, but this is what you work up to. My name is A.B. Bird, and I want to know, how do I make money after high school?

Get a job! Is that Flynn? Yeah. I didn't want to bring back that joke. Oh, God, I am doing it. Sorry. I was thinking... I thought I was done with you, motherfucker.

Should I not do that voice? Dang, you're a liar! Oh, I almost said spoiler, never mind. My name is Abby Bird, and I want to know, how do I make money after high school? Okay. All right, well, as many people here already feel the same, I hate high school. School in general. Right. Point is, we all hate it. That the same, I hate high school. School in general. Right.

Point is, we all hate it. That's why you're here. Yeah, so that's why we're here. We do like black backgrounds and red text, though. Yeah. Reminds me of high school. And with that said, I don't know how the hell to make a decent dollar, dollar, dollar sign in this fucked up economy and world i can assume that's

just a censored word ass wait wait wait wait let him go let him go so i'm into herbalism spiritual work there's not a lot of money in it fucking sucks i'm also in music drums vocals synth electronic and stuff and i am an artist So I paint and like Fashion, makeup and hair Okay Quiet and interest If you ask me with all those Uh huh

Here is your certificate You are the most employable gentleman In the world Just walk into any in the world. Just walk into any... If there's a job interview happening in any building, just walk in. Tip over the desk. I'd like $100,000 a year,

please. Thank you. Just walk in an interview with a kick drum and a pair of shears. Paintbrush. And Reiki stones but i don't want to waste any more time in schooling sure i know two people i can turn to for the herbalism kind of stuff we'll call it new age for the purposes of this post and the world yeah yeah one person works slash owns a health food store with their hubby.

Oh, no shit. Yeah. The other guy, a shaman, owns an herbal business in L.A. and is good friends with the world famous, if you're into raw foods, you may know him, David Wolfe. Sure. You heard of him? People that know.

I haven't. Just if you're into raw foods. Are you guys not into raw food? Pretty into raw food. No. Didn't you guys eat Pringles with carrots on them or something? There's a Jesuit that died in 1578. Is that the one?

No, man. That's not him. Okay. Is he the one that was in the film version of Where the Sidewalk Ends? Whoa, what? They made a... Yeah, I know. Totally.

I didn't know that. I don't think it's... I guess it's completely unrelated to the Shel Silverstein. Anyway, this is a bit of a... Yeah. No, let's keep going with all the different David Wolfe's in the world. Sure. So, yeah.

So, as we were talking about, he's good friends with world-famous David Wolfe. Those would be my best bet for learning about herbalism and such. Sure. Well, you can make minimum wage working in a co-op. Yeah, exactly, man. You got to share your income. Right. Yep.

Music. Well, I am buying some electronic gear A sap And as soon as my mom will let me get my rhinoplasty Nose job Because of a medical problem What is a medical problem? A medical problem is making

Noses ugly Then I can record vocals and everything And then put that shit out there Nose is ugly. Then I can record vocals and everything and then put that shit out there. But for now, I'll just have to make basic tracks without vocals. It just kind of blows. But what can I do? Oh, he must have a really annoying nasally voice. I don't think a nose job fixes that, does it?

I think it could. Yeah Yeah if they just block it up I think he might be trying to sell the nose job Because he's saying he wants his voice to change But he really just wants a better looking nose Well yeah I like how that he can just Ask his mom and dad I want to sing better Can you get the surgeon to hack my nose apart Yes of course

But not until you're out of high school. Anyway. I'm hoping, and it's my dream, to become big in music. And not like a Disney sellout or a Gaga famous person. Just have a strong, stable

fan base and a tour in small venues in the U.S. Does that count as big in music? No. I mean, yeah, if you're actually making a tour that pays for itself, that is pretty much a successful musician. There's a lot of bands that don't get to that point. I wouldn't want to sell my music.

Instead, I would sell my merch. That's how it works, fuckface. That's how it works, fuckface. That's how it works. You don't get a piece of the album, idiot. Music's not merch. You can't sell it on anything. His voice. I can't get the picture out of my head.

It's the exact cross between Flynn and Slumpy Space Princess. Yeah. It's amazing. That's a good crossover show. That's a good fanfic right there. But I'm not too sure if I would have a choice, considering we all need dollar bill sign, dollar bill sign, a choice, considering we all need dollar bill sign, dollar bill sign, and what price and people will pay for you need to sell, dot, dot, dot.

Wow. I cannot, I can't tell that your parents are loaded. Like, that doesn't come through in your post at all. No sense of what things are worth. They have such disregard for money that they don't even spell it out. It's just a symbol. Everything is measured in how many dollar signs you use. Like, yelp.

As far as makeup and fashion go, that's more of a side hobby. Unlike the music that you haven't recorded. Yeah, this is on the side, which means I don't really do it. The herbalism you haven't learned about. Right. But I've got an interest in it that I want to do it. Sure. I just like wearing crazy things like arm warmers and snakeskin pants and Doc Martin boots and experiment clothes.

Wait, Doc Martin boots in high school? Holy shit! It's pretty out there. Yeah! You should get the idea. I'm creative, unique, and break boundaries with stuff for my age. Yeah, there's no other teenager who dreams of becoming a giant rock star and just living with their herbalism. The problem is I'm not quiet, sure what I should do with my talents and whatnot.

I guess you should find some talents. I'm sorry, go ahead. Do I go study herbalism with those two people? Get your degree. Yeah, that's a great plan. Do I go study herbalism with those two people, or do I release music and hope to God teens my age like it and buy it? I need help.

Music can't possibly be a side gig. Yeah. It's impossible to do two things at once, you know. You have to choose, and you have to register your choice with the Chamber of Commerce. Right. See, I could learn some simple, irritating bullshit, or I could create some shitty music. Yeah. I like that he hasn't recorded a song yet, but he's already worried about selling out. Yeah. I like that he hasn't recorded a song yet,

but he's already worried about selling out. Yeah. I'm not going to be a sellout, but I do want money. Anyway. Oh, he follows it up. Yeah.

My name's The, and I just wanted to say you shouldn't rely on music. You should start with something where you know you'll make money, then see how much you could make off of music. Upgurt, anything to respond to that?

That's good advice, but probably not for what the was thinking of. Well, I'm going to follow that with my signature, which is an osky middle finger. Fuck you. He didn't say get a job. He just said start with something where you know you make money. I guess he means like prostitution. Drugs. I don't know.

Drugs. Anyway, any response to that? Oh, yeah. In response, he says, the thing with music is that I'm releasing two CDs off of two completely different projects. One is a Polk Funk ambient project. Fuck you! So it's going to be awesome to listen to.

Did you say Polk Funk? He did. He did. He meant to say punk folk. He said poke funk. Poke funk. Poke funk ambient sounds awesome. See, guys, we were laughing when he said he was unique, but he's actually... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's James K. Polk impersonators covering the hits of Grand Funk Railroad. Polk impersonators covering the hits of Grand Funk Railroad. Polk Funk. One is a punk folk ambient project and the other is a glam rock electronica. I'm not... Shit.

It's all stuff I can play on GarageBand, so it's cool. Yeah. I'm not relying on those two for dollar sign, dollar sign. I'm just releasing them because I want to. Okay. If I get a good size of positive views and such with the CDs, I will release more singles and demos until people become interested,

and then I will ask for the fans for help. The fans. Yeah. The fans, huh? All right. They're coming. Yep. But not make it sound like I'm some bum kid asking for dollar sign, dollar sign.

Don't want to cut it too close there. No. I'm some rich kid asking for dollar sign, dollar sign. I may be a teenager, but I know not to put too fine a point on it. I'm not necessarily in for the dough. find a point on it. I'm not necessarily in for the dough. I'm in for the music to express

myself and draw a line and prove a point for certain things that happen in my life. The title of this thread, again, is How Do I Make Money After High School? But as with any artist, money does help when you're making everything on your own and not a Hollywood robot who gets millions of dollars a week.

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Is that why I can't get any work is because all the Hollywood robots have taken it? Yeah. Making sketch comedy shows. Beep, beep. Beep, beep. Bop, boop.

Making sketch comedy shows. Beep, beep, beep, bop, boop. I'm sure that the Crystal Threat Railroad and Ziggy Bittoon are really the greatest bands ever. Ziggy Bittoon. They're just rolling in money. Millions of dollars a week. Ziggy Bittoon. The corruption of America is just,

you know, keeping you from getting to the forefront of popular culture. So it's like, it's like, it's like

Mega Man songs. Spider from Mars! This kid sounds bitter that he's already not made it even though he hasn't put anything out.

You know, he's got a band, he's got two different bands together. They are conceptual nightmares, but... I made it. Why doesn't everybody love it immediately? What are we going to do? Spend effort on it?

Boots. Hi. Give me the wisdom of Fishpit, please. Fish Pit. Fish Pit. Yep. Fish Pit. Well, I'm Fish Pit. You.

I like you. You're fun. Oh, thanks. I'm a renegade. Oh, yeah. That's great. Okay. I got a question.

Yep. What's that? How to argue against this. Okay. All right. Sure. Tell us more. Oh, I have to tell you more?

Okay. I guess the answer would be that. That didn't help me at all. Here, let me elaborate. I read through Teenage Liberation Handbook and wrote slash presented a long proposal based on the one in the book.

I talked about college plans, academic stuff, etc. My parents are still far from convinced. They made points such as, why don't you manage your time better so you can have more time for your interests? Well, school drains me a lot. I mentioned that to them. And I feel quite unmotivated to do anything, especially when I have loads of pointless

homework. You are in such a strange situation! I know, but if say that, they'll just say I'm making up excuses and being lazy. You just said you feel quite unmotivated to do anything. Right.

I don't know why they don't understand that and call me lazy. Like, in this reading, I'm able to see, it's that theory of, like, teenagers have brains that are just completely scrambled and are trying to order themselves properly. Like, as teenagers are going through puberty, their brains are going, like, completely different.

And I can see how these ideas are just kind of bouncing off each other in this pinball machine. They say I gotta do stuff, and I have pointless stuff to do, and I don't want... What was I talking about? Then my dad

said, if you get straight A's for two semesters, then we'll talk about homeschooling. Yeah, your dad wants to hang around with you more, I can see. Yeah, that really pissed me off. Sure, I understand. Dad tried to strike a deal.

Fuck him. Yeah, he seems to think the high grades equals genius, equals too smart for school, equals capable of homeschooling. Or he wanted to set a standard that you couldn't meet so that he didn't have to deal with a homeschooling idea. Yeah, I think he would rather invest in you trying to be motivated before he tried to motivate you. I don't want to waste my time for high grades, which do not reflect my intelligence. Wait, high grades don't reflect

your intelligence? That's true! Is that a Groucho Marx line? That should be getting lower grades. Why should I waste my time for high grades, which don't reflect my own intelligence? I should get the grades I'm supposed to get. I'm Groucho Marx's teenager.

And I don't think I'm capable of getting all As anyways. Right. Or As. I only have A in math. Sure. Not in English. Not English. Finally, my mom says I should work with the system because many people have gone through the system and survived.

And that school isn't that bad. I'm really unhappy about school. But then she says that lots of other people are worse off than me. Yar! She pointed out how I'm kind of spoiled. Compassion for others! Arr! How should I argue against my parents' points so that I can convince them?

Communication with them doesn't appear to be working. What else can I do? What does he want, though? Like, I don't get what he wants. He wants to not go to school. I think he just, does he just not want to do anything? Is that what it is? Is he just like, everybody's asking me to do stuff.

Actually, so he read this book by Grace Llewellyn. I Googled it too. Yeah, so Grace Llewellyn is sort of a founding figure in the area of unschooling. Oh, sure. Sure. So he wants that wonderful life. I see. Yeah, of course.

The book was published in 91, and she was born in 1964. Right. So that means she wrote this when she was 10 years out of high school anyway. Sure. Yeah. Best time. Anyway, it's fun. Lokesaur.

My name is Lokesaur. That's some good spelling. Yeah. Y'all will have to convince Em that the way school works is impeding how you learn. If y'all do, that you're set. Although I don't know Em, so I don't know how they'll counter. You are doing a terrific job with your Minnesota accent. It's really coming along very well.

The text carried me along. You should get out of school with me and let's go do stuff. Actually, expound on that, Adam. Alucard483, You're a site mod. You're the management of this website. You've posted on this forum 6,206 times. I am backwards Dracula. Ooh.

Ooh. At this point, we fudge grades. I rub fudge on my report cards. fudge grades. I rub fudge on my report cards. You agree to thier terms of engagement. No, engagment. You agree to thier

terms of engagment. That's that whole thing on Fat Life. I'll have what he's learning. Then use unconventional warfare. Unfortunately, we'll still have to attend school, but not

really participate. With an S. However, you have to be on the spot about skimming out mail, phone calls, and emails from the school about falling behind. Be cool hazy

if the catch you what you are doing, then the subject is permanently moot. Alright, son. I want you to get straight A's for two semesters. Well, Dad, it turns out I no longer get grades. Alright. Congratulations. No, Dad, it turns out I no longer get grades.

All right. Congratulations. No, this is what their report cards come on now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just handwrite them. It's the honor system. They just pass it around in envelopes. Are you calling me a liar? Are you calling your own son a liar?

They've also canceled all parent-teacher meetings. Because government shut down. But if you get a letter about it, it's just because the system hasn't caught up. Oh, yeah. When the letters get sent out, get the letter before they do. Scan the grades into a computer and boot up Photoshop. Erase the grades. Oh, I like this idea already.

And put in new ones. Don't get stupest, though. Don't get stupest. Don't get your stupies. Don't get stupies. Oh, is that a... I'm going to search on Cafe Press for don't get stupest. Don't get stupest. Don't get stupus.

Damn it. Don't get stupus, though 100% in all classes and not realistic. Vary them up so you have a 98% and a 92% and so on and so forth. Which in your case is also unrealistic. Right, yes. Print it out and put it back in the envelope. Put the open letter on the table and when you see your parents next, feed them the biggest pile of bullshit you ever had.

Act really excited. Literally. It's going to be a high bar. I got the Ziploc bag of bullshit. Got dinner for you. You hungry? Act real excited and claim that you're keeping up your end of the bargain. Sure.

Gauge reactions and see if they are actually willing to start looking into alternative schooling. If it looks promising, then do it again. Then we get to see if your parents are full of shit. At least as full of shit as you are. Know where you get it from. At that point, it's almost more effort than just getting a decent grade. Oh, I thought we made a deal.

I didn't keep up my end of the bargain. Now you're going to let down yours? Well, I got a response to that. Oh, hi, Fishpit. That's a good idea. My school doesn't send out report cards. All grades for assignments are put on lines.

Parents can view them at any time. Okay, you're going to... Mom, they changed where the report cards are now. Here's what they do. You boot up Photoshop. Home.geocities.com. You go to Geocities. You type in the name of your school by whatever.

No, it's just school 2896. It's like the district number. Go to Geocities. That's still around, right? No, actually it's not. Grades are posted under the rotating skull. Sure, sure. You spend some money on a new logo.

You can't fucking spend money keeping geocities around. Assholes. Fishpitschoolmarks.wordpress.com. Like a bunch of crappy Brooklyn accents. All right. My name is Entity Cubed, and I'm super into the dog in Call of Duty. Oh, boy. His name is Riley.

It's a callback. Yeah, I'm into the Call of Duty dog. It's awesome. Okay, everyone on my bus is an asshole! Well, yeah, I already knew that. Yeah, it's the bus. School! What can make my day worse?

A load of assholes! My afternoon bus is loaded with idiots. When I find a seat, it just has to be in back. That's where all the idiots sit. Okay. The dumb fucks at the back of my school bus piss me off. These creatures try

to insult and make fun of me every way they can. I got a new iPhone 5. Instead of complimenting me, or just staying quiet about it, these fucking whores had to make fun of me for it. Hey, new phone, huh?

New phone, huh? What you got on it? Your game music? You whore! You whore! I hope they die a slow, painful death and burn in hell! Fucking assholes! I think schools should change their education system. That's all

Okay, good At least you got that out Poor Entity Cube I'm learning more and more about how to survive school Yeah, yeah Now we're going to learn more about porn Adam, you have a question? Well, I'm Dulix

And why aren't kids allowed to watch porn? Let's see if at any point he goes, oh, that's right. I want to watch porn legally. I watch it illegally. And I'm old enough to understand sexuality. Why the hell can't I watch porn legally. I watch it illegally. And I'm old enough to understand sexuality. Why the hell can't I watch porn? All right. It's fine.

Crayola colors. I think that if people are sex addicts, it's better to have porn than to go out and rape some random chick. Now, if they go out and rape some specific chick, that's fine. I don't think it adds the problem. I think it serves as a sort of Tylenol for these certain people. And plus, the thread was more about why the law says children can't watch it, yet adults can. Yeah.

So, yeah, this is getting wrapped up. I think the question's getting answered. I think there's a lot that you don't really understand there, Crayola Colors. 11,265 posts you're saying I don't understand. Okay. AWOL. Is AWOL on this first page here? Yes.

Boots, take that. AWOL is on this first page here? Yes. Boots, take that. AWOL is a furry, so that's good. Good. And he likes XKCD. One. There is an imbalance between genders. That is the I like XKCD voice, yes. You're reading this post with your eyes closed and holding a finger up.

Yeah. You're reading this post with your eyes closed and holding a finger up. There is an imbalance between genders. But I'll be damned if it's a male greater than female these days. Good point. It's not. It's the females, population-wise, slightly outnumber the males in the world. Is that what you mean? I don't know.

God, too. Sexualized. So you should be. Yoda? I don't know. Humanity is annoying. Gears shift? You have three basic wills.

They go like this. Will to live. Then will to reproduce. No, not Maslow again! Then will to prosper. Oh my god, this guy is so right. I made this up myself. To be fair, that's kind of a bullshit,

facile understanding of Maslow. Sure, sure. I don't know who this Maslow you're talking about is. Right. The spooning bard came up with this theory all by himself. Yeah. Fucking asshole. You're following the last one spectacularly,

for the most part. So much so that you're neglecting the first two, which are more important. So you prosper by masturbating to pornography? I do. I am very prosperous as a human being. I am doing pretty

well for myself! Next time my parents call me a loser, I'll tell them what's up. I call money. Oh yeah? Yeah, no, I'll tell them what's up. I call money. Oh, yeah? Yeah. No, I did get fired, but I also watched Stop My Ass is Haunted. Who's the idiot now?

I bounce right back. You're all right when it comes to the will to live But the will to reproduce Is being fucked Hardly and repeatedly Hardly The actual will is being fucked Yeah But only a little bit

By you Humans Morons Sexualization is a good thing Not in large amounts, but it's still good. And guess what? It's about perfect at the moment.

Oh, you are so irritating. But the gender that needs to be sexualized is bitching! Not surprising, really. What color is your fedora right now? AWOL. His fedora's gone super Zan. My fedora is a hypercube.

Jesus. A mammoth-wrought fedora. Oh. Three, fuck it. I've watched porn since I was nine, and I'm one of the only people I know that support gender, relation, and sexual equality. If anything, I could draw...

The gender that needs to be sexualized is bitching. I could draw that porn is good from my experience. Yeah, porn is good. It turns people into you. Furry. XKCD fan. XKCD. Post about men's rights shit on a school survival forum.

They have three broken image links that must offer greater insight as to my personality. They go links to questionable content, slightly damned, and awkward zombie. Yeah, so other net comics. Oh. Absent. Net Comics. Oh!

Absent Insomniac. Absent Insomniac. My name is Absent Insomniac. And I've posted 6,363 times. Whether it's right or wrong to do.

Whether the weather is right or wrong that should determine whether I'm watching porn it's raining or it's not it's not it kind of does already anyway whether it's right or wrong or right to do doesn't really matter

what matters is whether wrong again it should be censored or banned from people. Adults watch it legally, so I see no reason for kids to be restricted from it. And if I see no reason, then there is no reason. Our legal standard is that kids and adults are all allowed to do the same thing all the time. There's a link to my blog where you can read more intelligent shit like that. Why can't there be a teenage president?

He would be too radical. I'm 14. I play Call of Duty. I want to join the military right now. If it's too bad for kids to watch, why isn't it too bad for adults to watch? I don't think it is such a bad thing that we should ban it. Sure, there are people who get addicted and overuse it.

But people get addicted to alcohol, money, smoking, and too much of anything can be a bad thing. And teenagers can use alcohol and smoke too. So it's like, yeah. And money.

Where did you get this? can use alcohol and smoke too. So it's like, yeah. And money. And money. Where did you get this? At my job. Did you invest this? Did you invest this? I learned it from watching you, okay? Of course, there is the whole idea of predisposing people to things.

But if you don't outright give it to kids, they probably won't be looking at it at the age of five anyway. Some kids do watch it at very young ages, and they don't come out as sexual predators. Citation needed. Well, it would be like in the movie. Being a sexual predator is the only way that watching porn at a young age can fuck you up so i think that yeah no if you if you had a movie if you had a movie where uh in in one scene you showed somebody at five years old watching pornography then you would cut to him at the age of 20 being a non-sexual predator. Just living his life, treating people well. Being a teenager is like when you get to the end of the line at the roller coaster,

but you're in that stall area. You can see people getting on the rides, and you're almost there, and it's just that for, like, six years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm smarter than some people, but I haven't realized how dumb I am still. AWOL comes back on page two, so fucking talk more about that, asshole. Oh, yeah. To further support the non-censorship

of pornography for minors Oh good, here's a list of facts. A point list, yay. With bowling balls as points. Masturbation is healthy and not masturbating can cause problems later in life, citation needed

We can just assume that this happens at the end of every list It becomes difficult to masturbate without good material around 13 to 14 What the hell does that mean? What the hell does that mean? I can attest that that's not true The problem with masturbation is that

you never want to do it That was about the time that I was masturbating attest that that's not true. The problem with masturbation is that you never want to do it. That was about the time that I was masturbating to scrambled porn. Remember, these are facts. Yeah, totally. This is in support of an idea. You have to take it seriously

if it's in a bulleted list. Porn is a good material. Right. Sure. It's silk. It's good. Not as good as lumber, but okay. Yeah.

Porn is banned from minors. Correct. Yeah, you said a right thing. Correct. All right. Good job. The minors find it difficult to masturbate. I don't think the first time I

stated this I was wrong enough. Do we keep a... Okay, what we actually need to do is keep a running tally of the wrongest thing that's said in this podcast so that we can compare sentences like this against each other. There has to be

a tournament. I think that at the end of the year you have to have the F plus incorrect tournament. Yeah, you print up phrases like this on little playing cards and then you duel them. The goal is to

convince people, as many people as possible, that somebody actually said this for real. Oh my god, this is actually a really good game. No, no, no, like where you would have to argue your point is less stupid than the other person's point. The game is called Devil's Advocate. I think it

already exists. Oh, shit. To be fair, I'm kind of gonna agree with that point. Miners find it difficult to masturbate. They haven't quite figured out the, you know, the logistics and the most efficient means.

I just want to get them the right material. I just want, before it's too late, I want to give them the material. Alright. This one's just a fact here. Just plainly laid out. Miners develop problems later in life. That's correct.

Wrong statement and then another true one. Also, I love this symbol. Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, Okay, who's the angriest person right now in the room? Not me I'm chill You're chill? Okay Adam, you feeling angry? Yeah, I can get angry You can get angry? Okay, yeah I hope so

I can hear the rage building up inside of me So, Rage has a new name And that name is Kelby393 Yeah, you're shaking and that name is Kelby393. Yeah, you're shaking. So just tell me about your graduation pictures. I'm assuming they went well. Like, I know that you took graduation pictures.

Right. Okay, this is Kelby393. Graduation pictures went well, but warning, long post. Oh post oh my mom but yeah no i'm just excited that's all my mom's throwing a fit because i don't care enough right yes she's a brainwashing that thinks school's actually worth something she thinks a diploma, a.k.a. a piece of paper congratulating you for obeying everything without question is really worth 12 years of hell. I'm not even proud to graduate from this prison. So I don't even want to show it by getting a bunch of pictures, a bunch of stalls and shit, etc. Like things you wrap around your neck?

Stalls and shit! Congratulations! Here's your mink stole. Yeah. Grandma got you a mink stole. Right. Man, I can't wait until I'm out of school where I'll never have to follow the instructions of someone else ever again. Mm-hmm.

Just get the minimum stuff like the cap and gown and announcements. Fuck, you rebel. Holy shit, James Dean up in this bitch. I only agreed to the pictures for the sake of not pissing my parents off. Again, rebel. I didn't even want

to cut my hair. Honestly, it looks fine. I told them. Right. But mom and dad are just like, are you sure? Are you sure-y? Fifty fucking times. I just want to say I love it when people extend a silent E.

Yeah. Leave the fuck alone! It's my picture! Finally, I just gave in and got some bangs and layers and just get them off my back. Where's the part where you're a rebel? So far, you've been a pussy throughout this whole thing. I'm not the type to do that to my hair a lot. To me, it's a hassle.

Cutting your hair and combing it, I assume? And today, we went and got the it, I assume And today we went And got the haircut And then we went to get the pictures I got two good quality outfits For the pics Dressy and casual To me

And the photographer, both were great Wait, did you buy an outfit for the photographer? I don't know I wanted to match the photographer It's like camaraderie It's important for the photographer. I don't know. I wanted to match the photographer. It's like camaraderie. It's important for friends together, buddy. Yeah.

I don't want to have my picture taken. You don't want to take it. You know. The casual I wanted to wear the same shoes I wore that whole day. But mom stopped me.

She's like, no, those look too old and dirty. She just said it casually, like, kind of laughing, you know? So it was okay. So I thought, and then I put on dressy shoes, which matched the casual

outfit anyway, and the pictures went fine. Okay? Are you just angry that you're a pussy? Yeah. All the conflicts have been resolved by you giving in so far. Can you believe her?

God. And then another thing came up with me forgetting to wear my class ring for the cap and gown piece. Nobody thought to bring it and I didn't think of it either. Okay, sure. Okay, and well, my sister didn't wear her ring in her pictures either.

No big deal, really. And I just took the pics anyway. Great. Good. Okay. Can you believe this? Yes, I can. I very much can. 100% believability. Jesus.

But the way my mom threw a fit over it pissed me off so much that after we were done and we were going home, I just snapped at her like, Mom, why didn't you just tell me to bring the ring? It's her fault. Holy shit. I said it, and that's when Mom's bitch fest started. Sure.

Basically, it was, you're so insane. You don't even care about this. Those pictures are $500 for fucking pictures. And then you don't even care. You wanted to wear those ugly ass shoes, and then you don't even try to lose a few pounds. Holy shit. Yeah. Well, I am chubby,

but there are other big girls that took grand picks and looked awesome. Maybe it's because they got good haircuts and wore their class ring and had nice shoes on. Nobody looks good wearing a class ring. And my mom wasn't there. And then she was like, and the casual shirt was way too casual. And you are just like your damn sister.

But you people are insane. Wait, your mother said you people are insane? Yes She said we're insane We had to force you You people and where you come from I don't know, must be your upbringing I don't know how it happened

But we had to force you to get a haircut And if you want to drive that new car of yours You better prove that you're trying to be healthy. Whoa, what? It's my car, you bitch, and I'll drive it if I want to, and I am able

to. It's my property now, and you bought a $4,000 BMW, which just sits in the garage about 90% of the time when you just use the avalanche a lot. That's responsible. I was on your side

until this. I know you bought the car but it's mine now you bitch. And school with its 8 hour daily slavery leaves me not the time nor the energy to work out. Yeah, sure, sure. I just want to relax.

That is the worst excuse. It makes everybody tired, like the football players and the soccer players. Yeah. They're all tired. That's why there's the after school activity of naps. I'm in the siesta club. It's called chess club and you know it. There's a waiting list.

I did try two years ago as a sophomore, but I just got fucking sick and tired of having that fucking time crunch. What? Coupled with the fact that I gained weight way too easily. So I had to eat like less than 700 calories daily and work out. No, that's a terrible number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are not doing that right.

Yeah, someone lied to you. Terrible number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are not doing that right. Yeah, someone lied to you. Sweaty, less than 700 calories daily, and work out on Dancing East Revolution for 30 minutes at 5.30 a.m. and somewhere between 6 and 10 p.m. that night to burn up that 700 or more to lose weight. That's not how calories work.m. that night to burn up that 700 or more to lose weight.

That's not how calories work. Nope. That's not how exercise works. That's not how eating works. I had to eat less than 700 and burn 700 to be healthy. To break even.

And it has a counter on it so it's accurate. True. The higher you score in Dance Dance Revolution, the more calories you burn. To be fair, I feel like Dance Dance Revolution probably has one of those. I know that

Dance Central does. Yeah. What teenager could eat less than 700 calories? Even as a teenager, they're like, no, you should eat 3,000. I can't imagine what it would take to burn off 700 calories in Dance Revolution. That would be all day. It's 30 minutes at 5.30 a.m.

And then somewhere between 6 and 10. Otherwise, the calories become permanent and you get fatter. Haha, you're mine now. I live out in the country, so I have to get up that early. And then the bus ride is an hour and a half to and from school every day. And so I get on the bus after school at 4 and get home at around 6. Sure. Two hours of my life wasted on a bus every day.

Is that delightful? Your math is delightful. That won't happen when you're an adult. Yay. Long commutes on the bus, I haven't dealt with that this morning. I'll try to lose weight when school is finally off my shoulders. I'm try to lose weight when school is

finally off my shoulders. I'm not going to college ever. Sure. Okay. Good. I'm just gonna relax. And me wanting to wear those ugly ass shoes doesn't necessarily mean that I don't care. I didn't even

notice those shoes that much. It's not like I didn't care. I didn't even notice those shoes that much. It's not like I didn't care. I just didn't want to notice. I just put them on and don't even look at them and they're not ripping apart or anything. Right, sure. Okay, good. They just have a little wear and dirt at the tips, but that's all.

Maybe you should talk about this with your mom. Until mom pointed out to me that they were dirty, and then I realized she was right after I looked at them. And then I changed my mind. I wore those better shoes at least. You shouldn't have to make such a

itchy fit about that. I like how you turned into Lumpy Space Princess at the end there. Yeah, Mom's throwing a real big hissy fit here. Yeah, yeah. Mom's making an idiot out of herself. I learned it from you. And you insist it's your pictures.

Well, it's my pictures, but you forced me to get a haircut, even though I knew my hair was just fine. And you bitched at me about shoes, brain, and casual shirt and then there were no fucking deal. And then you forced me to take pictures at all. I don't even know I ever agreed to this. These aren't even my pictures anymore.

These are just your interpretations of my pictures should look like. That's what class photos are. Yeah, that's how that works. You think anyone really enjoys resting their hand on their face without touching their hand to the face? I've got my class picture up on my wall right now. It's my headshot. It's certainly not.

Here we have Adam Bozarth. Oh, wow. He looks like a smart young boy. This is a piece by Lord Zerdeath. It's called Shores vs. School. I want it. Damn it. All right, take it.

Yes, my name is Lord Serdaeth. And I have a comparison essay to give to you. Chores vs. School. You have a funny video at the bottom of your post where it's a parody of that Coke ad called I Like to Teach the World to Fap. Yes, we'll get to that. Great. No, we won't. Please let us not. The past few days, I have been

incredibly reluctant to get out of bed and go to school. When I don't get out of bed, I'm usually yelled at for one to two minutes. Then I get a fresh shirt on and head to school. Okay. Not today. Today it was the same routine, but my mom asked

if I was going to school today. After one minute of contemplation, I said no. She sighed and said I'd be put to work. And my reply, better than school. I then fell back asleep. An hour after I fell asleep, I was woken and told it was time to work. Okay, good. I want to know more about the chronology of this cupboard.

We put miscellaneous appliances in them. She said she ate the honey ones. I have never seen her eating them. Dad ate the normal ones. He rarely eats them. Once every two months. I said fine and sorted them. We're talking about cereal now.

For a while! I had to do it so it was a problem. Then started clearing out the pots. And pans cupboard. Where I got rid of most of the pots. Threw them out the window. They were really... I really like parentheticals, by the way. They were the really small ones

about your fists put together. That's important to understand the story. No, you're just our end of minutia. Kept all the pans. Then decided that the lower half of the cereal cupboard is going to be the misc appliance cupboard. Ah, see, there you go, man. Then sorted them in that.

Cleared out the cutlery drawer. It was foreshadowing earlier. Oh, my God. It's Chekhov's pot cupboard. Cleared out the cutlery drawer. Then I was told to mow the back lawn. The cutlery drawer. So just all of the drawings about knives.

Drawings of knives that are just in the drawer. Which was the first time I used the mower, I felt pretty good that my, quote, more fat than muscle, unquote, arm started. Oh, congratulations! You're not fat! You started a lawnmower! Keep praise upon me.

I can do anything! Then I used a weed whacker to touch up the spots I missed. Oh, great. Then I showered as I was covered in grass and torn up weeds. Uh-huh. Overall, it was Then I showered as I was covered in grass and torn up weeds. Ah. Overall, it was a pretty good day.

I didn't have to go to school. I got to sort stuff. Another parenthetical. I weirdly like sorting. I was asked if I was going to school tomorrow. I said no. If it's anything like today, it's going to be all right. Post script. sorry for basically telling you my day.

Someone had a gun to my head, so I had to... There's a post post script, what does PS stand for, so ignore that I just said post script. Then there's a post post post script, do any of you watch Game of Thrones?

By the way, I would like to teach the world the fact. Sure, sure. Well, you have a follow-up post. Isn't that exciting? There's more news from you, you boring fucker. I like how that guy was like, instead of school, I had a Saturday.

It turns out I didn't finish writing it. Second day of doing chores instead of school, I had a Saturday. It turns out I didn't finish writing it. Second day of doing chores instead of school. Oh, God. It was worse. It started with sorting the containers. Lazy Susie. That's her name. Lazy Susie.

Yeah, that's her name. It's her sister. Why can't Lazy Susie sort the containers? And under the sink cupboards, which was fine. Sure. Then I had to remove the grass that was growing between the paving stones in the containers. And under the sink cupboards, which was fine. Then I had to remove the grass that was growing between the paving stones in the backyard. Yes, I'm serious. After about three minutes, I decided, fuck it, and went to

wash the windows. Let's say I don't like washing windows. Okay, let's say that. I don't like washing windows. We will now operate under the assumption that you don't like washing windows. My hands still feel weird. I really do like washing windows, though.

Semicolon, I don't like that feeling. Then I had to scrub dirt of the handrail part of the porch, which was worse than the windows. You do recognize at this point that you're fucking autistic, right? Well, I do like sorting things. Right. Weirdly. My hands still feel weird. I then took a lunch break and ate soup, semicolon, finished.

Oh, I can't wait to hear about the soup! And started on the porch again. Thirty minutes later, I was done. Went inside and checked my interweb stuff. Oh, God. Today was worse than yesterday. I've decided to go back to school on Monday as I don't have school Friday.

Truthfully, I'm probably going to get my quote-unquote dogwood instead of four years of horribleness. What the fuck? P.S. I learned what semicolons do, comma, from my sister. Nope! No, you didn't.

No, you didn't. You used one after I ate soup, so nope. from my system. Nope! No, you didn't. No, you didn't. No, I really didn't. You used one after I ate soup, so nope. I ate soup. Finished. Well, he's pretty much doing what everybody does when they first learn that semicolons exist, and that's put them fucking everywhere.

What you do if you have too many commas in a sentence. Yeah. Take the middlemost, the middlest comma, and replace it with a semicolon. Yep. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So the very beginning is this. Adam, were you pipe 555? Who is pipe? I was. Was I? That was Isfahan. Isfahan, you're going to go back to pipe 555.

And I am Gor-Gor scenes. It's fine. You're going to go back to pipe 555. And I am Gorgoroth. Okay. Okay. So I'm Gorgoroth. How can I start a BM band? Is this possible? Is starting a BM band or any other extreme genre band when I have to deal with the corporate world? How can I have long meddler's hair when I have to live at my house and my parents want

me to cut it off, especially when I have a job? Can I keep a job if I am a BM musician? If one of my bosses can get offended or something by my hair, I just want to figure out how I can do this shit when I have to live in the fucking cooperative world. The cooperate world. The cooperative world.

And I have to act like an average jack-off. So how's a BM band work? You just kind of shit right into the microphone? All you need to do is just sit down and then focus and have regular releases. That's kind of a classy...

I don't know. Thank you, Toast. Okay, this isn't the voice I used last time, but whatever. I don't care. Release black metal albums from your parents' basement. Oh, it's Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget. He's here. Sacrifice lambs and goats as you please, but keep such rituals away from the workplace.

Makes sense. Do not sacrifice lambs and goats while you're on the clock. Eh, it depends. Most bosses won't appreciate walking into a restroom to find you smearing blood in the shape of a pentagram on the clock. You're an art director. I appreciate walking into a restroom to find you smearing blood in the shape of a pentagram on the wall. You don't have to cut your hair off either, but you'll have to speak extra fluently

and intelligently to make up for it. If you find this is too much, you can always try to make a living off of your black metal band. Good luck with that. Wow! I've never heard a black metal lol until now. So,

don't sacrifice at work. Don't. Don't sacrifice at work. Because as we all know, you can't be in a black metal band unless you perform sacrifices. That's how I stay metal. So that's why Jack Chick has to talk all intelligently To make up for his hair

Uh, lol, I'm gonna save all that stuff For the stage, I know I don't think my parents would approve of black metal The sad thing is I will have to go through college That is sad And get my own place first, maybe Still, I could get in trouble at work

If my boss finds out I'm a rock star of this type. He's a what? Gorgoroth, get in my office now! You know, Gorgoroth, when I hired you, it would be hard, though, to be a metalhead and have an office job where you have to dress up every day and not have one interfere with the other. Just roadies constantly coming in and moving your coffee cup around for you. I'm not prepared to have a double life. Oh, shit.

Where was it? Yeah, fish 20. Boots. Boots, I guess. I'm fish 20? All right. Tell your parents and boss that Jesus had long hair. Then they'll be like, ooh, religion.

Okay, do whatever now. Your parents are made of straw aren't they okay so there is one last thing so one last thing we're going to end with the topic of psychic abilities those will definitely help us survive school We're going to end with the topic of psychic abilities.

Those will definitely help us survive school. For when you've gotten to level 20 high schooler and you can start using advanced classes. It's called rival schools. Somebody out there gets that. I know it's a PlayStation game. It's a shitty band. Oh. I thought it was a fighting game. All right.

It's a shitty band. Oh. That was a fighting game. All right, so Gas starts this thread out, and he just sort of talks about, he says, I believe in psychic abilities, and then here's some YouTube videos to totally. Oh, Psypog.net. Yeah, Psypog. Makes sense. Flashback from five years ago.

All right, but then SoulRiser, who is a site founder, and he put his handprint on his signature. He says, I haven't looked into the telekinesis stuff much, but I definitely believe in telepathy and empathy. And to me, empathy is like a mystical skill. I mean, that's what you like as a teenager. Telepathy and empathy are as out of your grasp. They're the same amount of out of your grasp. Did you know that there's guys out there that can tell how you're feeling just by looking at your face?

And the other thing is, they give a shit. It's like they've lived through that before. Okay, so my... it's like they've lived through that before I'm a teenager nobody's ever gone through what I'm going through right now Mike did a few random tests on me whoever Mike is over the course of a few days he likes to ask me out of the blue out of a hundred what number am I thinking of

after he'd been repeating the number in his head over and over for two minutes? Okay, so this evidence is going to fucking blow your fucking balls off. This is going to just hold on to your balls. Just got them attached. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. I got it right the first two times he asked. After that, it didn't work so well anymore.

And then he tried thinking of an animal. How many species of animals are there? And I got it right once out of about five tries. It doesn't always work. But what are the odds of it working even once when you're dealing with that many possibilities? The times I got it right, I saw the number in my mind, as in, I saw the digits as a picture. Same with the animal. Presumably, I also saw

the animal in my mind four times that I got it wrong. I don't know why I said what I said when I didn't see it in my mind. Why would people put other animals in my mind? Assholes! So, the same thing with the animal.

He thought of a white rabbit. First thing I saw was a fluffy white thing. I started thinking to myself, is it a sheep? And then the word rabbit appeared. Nifty, smiley face with the tongue. That. So there was a white shape that looked like a sheep, and then it just turned into the word rabbit.

Right. I can't even draw in my own head i just i just draw a white scribble and then i write rabbit and point your brain just gave up but it's like just fucking get in the hazy form of the sheep rabbit simple. I played a janitor. You played a monitor. Then you played with older boys and prefects. What's the attraction in what they're

doing? And there we go. Around about an hour of schools full of dipshits. Adam, what did you learn this week? I learned how to fight. You press the A button and then it goes. Then you press the A button again and then you pull the knife out and then you press the A button and then it goes, then you press the A button again and then you pull the knife out and then you press the B button.

Right? Yeah, I think that's pretty much how it worked. That's how it worked for that one guy. I am over 30. I am in my 30s, one would say. And

I'm definitely have moments of being sort of out of touch, you know? Yeah, sure. Definitely, like, you know, moments where, like, the first time you see Kesha and you go, holy shit, really? Really? And you kind of forget that, you know, like, you know, you had Cindy Lauper or whatever, like, like, it's, uh, but,

but it's nice to know that, you know, some things do, uh, stay the same, and that, uh, there's always assholes on the bus. Totally. Always. It's a different type of cruelty, but it's always assholes on the bus because if they had their shit together

they'd have cars yeah a weird play school survival really really weird because like the site itself looks like it was formed in like 1997 I think yeah totally the site is very old and um and then there's there's

the forums and you know if it was and if it was just people that kind of cycled through and would complain about you know like their own fucking meaningless dumb bullshit that they seem to care about like that would be one thing but like you know the site's gotta have like administrators yeah somebody who pays the bills to keep it open right exactly yeah and and i mean there's 6 000 members on this thing like what's like like what what is anyone doing here right exactly, exactly. I mean, like, I think it's very fair to say that even the people you think liked high school, hated high school, and everybody, especially creative people like you and I and all the listeners, are driven mostly by revenge. Right, of course.

But it gets sublimated into something else. You turn your life into something. But it gets sublimated into something else. You turn your life into something. And to just hold on to it and to keep posting about it and to keep places like this open, you know, it only... Right. It's just a feedback loop, and everybody just gets more upset. Well, yeah, and that's the thing that the internet's always the best at, is providing a feedback loop of reinforcing terrible thoughts into brains that were already damaged to start with.

Right. You know, like, you're in a situation where you're like, school's bullshit. I'm going to be an herbalist. Okay, no. Yeah. No. Somebody needs to pick you back up. Right.

Put you back on the right tracks. It's all that energy going like, how can I get out of doing this instead of just devoting yourself to doing something? Yeah, but there's actually another important gem that's being missed here from posting on school survival is that if you're going here and commiserating about, survival is that is that if you're going here and commiserating about like you're missing like your actual honest to god valuable isolation yes like you're not actually being i mean you are being

isolated but you're not fully being isolated and you're missing that you're not allowing yourself to kind of process through these thoughts and And you really should. Like, you really should be alone rather than in a situation where it would be better to be alone. And if you're looking to be alone in a room full of people, I would recommend you go to Ball Pit. That is B-A-L-L-P dot I-T. We got a forum. When's the last time you were there, Adam? I like to check in on the related uh, uh, related to nothing. I just like this photo and video threads.

Um, and, and all in things. I like talking about podcasts and the podcast thread that there is. And those are good. There's a, there's a somewhat recent one, uh, that started in the same area as the related to nothing. I just like this photo called internet. that started in the same area as the related to nothing. I just like this photo called internet.

Text, um, which is just, which is just a variety of like things that wouldn't be worth an episode, but like should be read by somebody. Great stuff. Um, uh, like the first,

the, the, the, the, the, the post that starts off the thread is called sex is too easy. Oh man. Oh, man. Well, you know,

I mean, that reminds me, I still think that F Plus should put together the year-end wrongest things ever said on the internet tournament. Actually, yeah. Yeah, I think I've got some time near the end of the year

and I've got some JavaScript that I've been wanting to write. I think we're going to actually turn it into a little card game, but don't quote me on that. All right, until next time. Bye-bye. Bye. I'll never get caught I'm popular I'm the teacher's pet I make football fans Boots, what would you like to read about?

I've got a choice. Would you like to read about Snow Days or League of Legends? Oh my god. There's a guy that always wants us to read League of Legends stuff, so I think I should finally pick Snow Days.