The F Plus - 13: Faster Pussycat! Ki! Ki!

Episode Date: January 7, 2010

Japanese cartoons and videogames have popularized the idea that standing still and screaming somehow allows you to conjure glowing balls of energy to be used for combative purposes. Unsurprisingly, Otaku have taken this belief as gospel and make assurances that chi balls are a valid form of martial arts training. These are their badly spelled stories.

Американская фирма Transceptor Technology приступила к производству компьютеров персональный спутник. Hey there, welcome to the F Plus Podcast. Terrible things read with enthusiasm. My name is Lemon. And my name is John. And I was trying to think of... John, do you have an idea of... Do you have an idea of what we can do this week? Oh, I thought you had something.

Oh, well... You know what? I don't. Okay. Let me do something a moment here. Let me see if I can... I'm going to consult the astral realms, see what they think. Okay? Just give me a second. I can't think. I can't... i can't decide i can't oh wait no now i have an idea you see there's a thing called a key right and key is oh what what Key is... Oh, what? I know you were over on the astral plane,

but I was sitting in my office here, and I was screaming at a wall, and then I remembered about this thing called Key, which is based off Street Fighter and Dragon Ball of this idea of standing still and yelling being a form of karate. Oh, yes. I think they mentioned this while I was in the astral plane. It's basically your personal energies making you, giving you the ability to do things

and shoot magic out of your fingertips. Sure, sure. Because, you know, if you want to try to learn how to defend yourself, you could take classes and move around and exercise and stuff. But that's kind of like sports. Yeah. That's kind of hard. Sports are for mundanes anyway.

Right. So it's probably easier to just eat Hot Pockets and yell at a wall. Yeah. Or visualize things happening and then that makes them happen. Because personal energy. So, proven. Yes, it's its own I think therefore I am sort of thing. Except for I think therefore everything else is.

Exactly. So that's what we got tonight. We got key. It's the idea of a karate energy that comes from, you know, sort of like a facile understanding of Tai Chi and then, you know, magical powers pretty much. Yes. So if everybody listening now could just focus their energies into a ball and then focus it on the podcast, then its true power would be revealed now.

You got the podcast. Then its true power will be revealed now. You got the touch. You got the power. Yeah. In the room tonight, we have AC Rock Waddle. Boots Rain here. Bunny Bread. Where the Canadian women at? John.

I'm astral projecting. Hazy Conspiracy. Jack Chick. Hello. Isfahan. I cast Chi-Ball at the darkness. And lemon. I need training from only people who know what they're talking about in energy fighting. And I am not talking about transferring energy by weight movement and stuff like that because I already know how to do easy stuff like that.

Well, I am an very accomplished fighter who has fought many battles and never been beaten. Until I came upon a fighter who clammed he had powers beyond the normal human. And I laughed. But after the fighting started, it looked like I was going to wipe the floor with him. But after the fighting started, it looked like I was going to wipe the floor with him. But the next thing I know, I was hit with this enormous flash of burning blue light.

The hit koupliat devastated me, destroying both my clothes and my body. Ooh. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. What? Destroying both my clothes and my body. That's right. Correct.

This is a ghost posting now. After he completely destroyed the guy, he let up after that and told me he wasn't even one-third of his true power. Okay, just checking that he was pulling a Swayze. Okay, go ahead. Before this fight, I heard of the so-called Energy Elite elite fighters, but I never saw one in action until that day. After that, he said, I wasn't even worth fighting.

Wow. This guy lives inside of Soul Calibur. Zen, Rico wins. So he said he would fight me again in one year. Is this inside a Rocky movie?

I have no reason to doubt this. Zedrico was defeated. Oh, first you must level up, and then you can fight me. I am the end boss. But the soul still burns. We're going to settle this in the ring. In a year from now. Or something.

In the sequel. It has been one month since then, and I have been searching everywhere to find someone who can train me in this amazing, devastating power. I promise whoever can teach me that I will be the most promising student.

I tend to excel at everything I put my mind to. I'm sure. Including spelling. Please, I need help soon. I want to learn energy attacks. His resume is just like 72-size font just saying everything. Do that stuff! We don't want you at Kinko's, sir.

Okay. Sorry to say it, but this sounds too DBZ-ish. But if you're really looking for information on combat psionics, there's bound to be at least one site that deals with the subject. There's only one martial arts that I

know of that really has anything to do with using Psy, though the name escapes me at the moment. I know a few techniques, but I've never really needed to use them. I could probably come up with some other techniques also. Though, I'm not going to waste my time

if this is just some joke. A joke? Serious as cancer, man. What do you mean, dibs-ish? I really, I am new to all this stuff and I don't know what you mean. If no one can help me, then this site is just another useless site.

It's no joke. But if I could just pick up one or two techniques, it would be worth it. Zenrico doesn't know what you mean by DBZ-ish because Zenrico clearly is not familiar with either video games or cartoons right well dibs equals

Dragon Ball Z which is a cartoon series well the simplest way to add a little thrust to your movement is to visualize Sai Chi, Ki, whatever around you adding a bit of strength when you punch you can visualize a battling ram

or maybe a strong animal charging instead of your arm. I think I read that somewhere at a website. Gospel. Now, you also have to worry about shielding. Shielding is sort of simple. Just visualize a large bubble emerge around you. For the best technique,

go to www.scipog.com. Oh. That's the game with the things that the elementary school kids play. Yeah, yeah. Except it's sci-pog. So you have to flip them with your mind, clearly.

Yeah. They had to build a separate site because sci-pogs got banned at mysticalwonders.org. The slammer is your soul. Whatever you do, though, never ever mention combat fighting or anything on the site or in its chat room. I could probably come up with more later.

What happens if you do? Does Beeljuice show up? No, Candyman does, dude. You know, when you're eating an entire pizza sub-style, it takes a while to catch your breath and regenerate your strength. Combat fighting.

Combat fighting. Oh, God! I'm hungry. I want to learn more about shielding and how it's supposed to stop a fist. Why should I never mention those things? Is it considered a bad thing here? I don't really understand all of this, but I'm really trying to please.

I need to know these things. He certainly is excelling at all things. It's considered bad. They teach some energy manipulation, some defensive energy, use some Reiki, some astral projections, some telekinesis, pretty much everything, but actual combat stuff is banned. As in a musical band. Oh, yeah, combat banned.

You've got to wear it around your wrist. Oh, I was thinking more like hair metal, you know. A lot of combat stuff could be accomplished long distance. Plus, they don't mention it, but the karmic repercussions involved. What about them?

Don't stop there! The original energy work fused with martial arts were used for balance, not fighting that's why they're called martial arts not balance arts I have no idea what the hell that any of that meant he just stops but the

karmic repercussions involved period what yeah I've got serious blue balls over that sentence he had already said too much. The Psypogs were going to come after him. Psypogs, Psypogs, Psypogs, Psypogs. Oh, my head had been Psypoged.

Dying now. It's the name of a combat band, the Psypogs. Well, I know what you're saying there, and I totally understand. But I was wondering, do you know what he did to me? Is that ki or chi or whatever? I really don't even know what I am looking for. Had, if fighting is I guess banned with

these techniques, how did he learn them? I really don't understand. Is there like a class or something? What? Well. The ki sanctuary made a passing comment about one martial arts form that uses Sai Chai, Ki, Sai, all the same

thing, just different name really I don't know whether they're really that strong Maybe the guy who kicked your ass is just an innovator and mixed up some fighting with some Sai Simply done, then all he has to do is practiceator and mixed up some fighting with some Psy. Simply done, then all

he has to do is practice it and come up with new ways to use it. If you actually saw a blue light type deal, then it was probably a flare. I don't really see why anyone would use a flare in a fight though. It might have been Psy

which can be partially visible sometimes I hear, though not most of the time. Are you sure you weren't fighting in a Kmart? I think they were actually fighting on a rock out in the ocean, and they needed to let a passing steamer

ship know that they were in need of a fight rescue. Or maybe they were just fighting by a broken down car needed to flag down a tow truck. So it's not really taught. It's just something you have to do on your own.

How do I learn the basics of Ki? Start. This isn't something that's taught. Teach me. So this isn't something that's taught. Teach me. Start reading, I guess. Once you get the basics down and can actively feel and transfer, it's all up to making techniques

and or finding someone who can come up with something. Fenzero. Sup. How you doing with the text, Jackie? Have new text? FenZero to accomplish some things, just like me! First of all, that everything you do, bad or good, will return to you with more power. I mean, if you do something bad with this... powers, something bad may happen to you. Try some martial arts that use Kai, Chi, Sai, such as Aikido, Kung Fu, Qigong, Tai Chi, Reiki, etc., and

read tons from the net. They may teach you. As I already said, try adding me to UrMSN. Reiki's not a martial art. Is it? You mean this guy may not know what he's talking about?

Aikido has fireballs in it? You mean this guy may not know what he's talking about? Aikido has like fireballs in it? I have learned the ancient fighting style of teppanyaki Yeah, Reiki is like a spiritual healing thing Okay Well, there's the French martial art where you add duck fat to everything Oh, shit It's the French-Canadian martial art. Well, most of the techniques I use are either something I read or something

I've made up. Well, mostly something I made up, lol. Zygos. Psionic attacks. Now there's a term I haven't heard in a while, and I guess it is very noobish. Basically, for those out of the know It comes across with basic shielding

Projecting energy as spikes Or other sorts of weapons in the hopes of crushing your opponent All done over the astral Best for suggestions on what's a good or not Or having someone help you Bah The only real limitations is your own imagination. That, and if you don't want anyone attacking you,

don't attack them or anyone else in the first place. And no, I'm not really interested in the karmic ramifications of teaching someone else how to hack into someone's energy. You need shielding help. I'm sure someone around here would be willing to teach you some defensive shielding. But as for ideas of attacks, most of us wouldn't be willing to think about such things. Where you see there is this idea of karma, which states for every action you put out,

both negative and positive, you get that right back at you at several times the magnitude. Zygos. Several times the magnitude? I'm not sure if that's really karma works I thought it was a balance thing but I guess it's an overbalance thing yeah no it just keeps karma just keeps accelerating

more and more and more until the time when you like take a penny off the street and then like you're shot in the face several times the magnitude I just stole somebody's penny. Hitler! So is the end of the world in 2012

going to be caused by karma? Yeah, just a constant acceleration of karma. I'm just interested that we can't see it now. Is it some sort of karma chameleon or something? Oh, why? Take yourself out back and slack yourself, would you? Well, no, he did bring up something serious here. Hacking into

somebody's soul energy really is bad. I mean, I know a couple of friends who got some malware hacked into their soul energy. They're forced to be Viagra salesmen for the rest of their other lives. That's the thing about karma. It comes and goes. It comes and goes. You can take yourself out loud.

Man. This is the shame episode of the F-Class podcast. Yeah. You know the lyrics, too. But in my own words, lol. As for psionic attacks, well, here we are talking about kinetics. Not exactly psionics. They may may mean the same but some aspects are different so one of them is like a big truck

you are right too remember that all paths lead the same way except of course bad paths oh yeah that makes what all paths except the other ones Oh yeah, that makes one. All paths. Except the other ones.

All bad paths will lead you to one place. While, of course, the good paths will lead you to the good place. Okay. And the food paths will lead you to the well-known food place. Excellent. And if you guys are still looking for kinetics, I found this website with many techniques.

And for Psyonix, you can visit Psypog. I think most of you know this website already, since it is a very famous one. Okay, see ya, have fun, fight your dreams, but above all, fight for the world, fight for life! He turned into Manowar at the end there. The very popular Psypog is not online, by the way. Yeah, it's a squatter site now. It was soul hacked.

Well, maybe the squatter site is, you know, that's the front end. You know, once you use your psychic powers, you can get past that and see the other side. That would make sense. Put so much blue energy into my fingertips. If your body was destroyed, wouldn't it be slightly difficult to be typing? Wah, wah, wah. Oh, hey, dark matter is actually a perpetually dense piece of rock that fell from space into someone's backyard in northern Indiana

between 1994 and 1996. What? That's good to hear. Wikipedia. Light matter, the energy of the sun. This energy wards off words of evil and helps to fight against darkness and demons very well when needed. It's so strong it takes a little while to gather it.

All right, so, yeah, so somebody start from, like, from Keyblast and then just kind of move down a little bit to, like, power up. Keyblast. and then just kind of move down a little bit to, like, power up. Key blast. Place one hand out and make a chi ball. Already? That's delicious. Wait, I have to make a chi ball? Make a chi ball.

Way ahead of you. Background reading of how to make a chi ball. Oh, shit. No? Just, you make a ball. Your stuff cannot be tied. You don't know how to make a chi ball? Just go to allrecipes.com, do a search for a ball. You don't know how to make a chi ball. Just go to allrecipes.com

and do a search for chi ball. They're delicious. It has a lot of ranch dressing in it. Yeah, it's a classic Purim treat. Begin to let your energy flow into that ball, making it so big that it's as big as your hand

and you can grip it all the way around. Oh, God, I'm going to have to stand up for this. Okay, okay, I'm ready. When a ball of energy is made that big, begin to fill your arm with chi itself and look at your target, drawing imaginary lines at it so that you may guide your chi blast along those lines. Wait, I have to work with imaginary stuff now?

Here I am making my chi ball and now I have to use my imagination? But the chi ball's real. You have to imagine a line that connects the chi ball. Yeah, because if you start using, like, surveying tape, people might think it's a little weird. I have posted a link for you in hypnosiskids.com on how to make a chi ball, so you can get caught you in hypnosiskids.com on how to make a g-ball. So you can get caught up.

Hypnosis Kids. Yes. Hypnosis. Kids Club. Wow, you just broke me. Hypnosis for kids, school for wizards. That's some evil Witch Warlock stuff. I don't want to... Unleash the energy you had in your arm

out onto the ball of energy and let it propel it out of the target. I'm not sure which it is what. To make the Chi Blast damage whoever, see the blast going through them, making a hole in them. Okay. That hole in them. Okay. Okay.

That was in parentheses. Well, that cleared everything up for me. I don't know about you guys. I'm just upset that this chi ball that I made didn't do anything. Well, it blew a square hole in my ball. If you sit it on the counter, then the sprouts grow, and then eventually you can harvest it. No way.

I blew out the square hole in my wall and then filled it with this clear hard kind of transparent crystal. I call it a window. It's really awesome. You should try it. You're an innovator. Damn, yes.

Teach us about key shields. Okay, I will do this. Place both hands out in front of you. See within your mind energy flowing from your K-Dem into your arms. Oh, I need to put my K-Dem on.

No worries. Let me know. Okay, I have to take off my pants first. Just give me a moment. Alright. There we go. Okay. Everybody caught up? That's not my K-Dem. What are you? Jonah Falcon? K-Dem? I barely know him.

Jonah Falcon reference. Wow. Then from your arms to your hands, you will know when the energy is there. Not there yet. When you can feel the energy in your palms, within your mind, make the energy itself expand around your hands

however big you want it to be. The smaller, the easier. Yeah, energy mittens. Yeah. Okay. Hold it there at however big you have gotten it to be and begin to visualize that energy field you created upon your hands turning into glass.

Ouch! Ow! The harder you focus on that glass shield, the thicker it will be. Why don't you visualize it turning into titanium or something? Yeah, glass makes a crappy shield. Now I have really fragile energy mittens on.

I beg to differ. Glass armor was clearly the best light armor in The Elder Scrolls Oblivion. We're talking about real things here, not fantasy stuff. You're saying that it wasn't fantasy. Look, listen. My soul comes from that thing there.

One of those pointy ear dudes. That's my soul. Don't you make fucking fun of my soul. All right, Isfahan. Power up. Power up. This technique is as strong as you make it. Sit down in your mind

and begin to draw in energy all over into all points of your body. Have your eyes shut and just let energy flow into you. Now do this for however long you wish. The longer, the bigger the power. When you feel that you have as much energy that you want, stand up and have your head bowed sort of like a dramatic scene. Picture the worst thing that has happened to you, like perhaps a death in your family,

and let that get you angry. It was the fight I lost. Angry. And you know it. Have your eyes and face, shoot your eyes open and yell, letting out that energy like a flare out, which will probably quadruple your power for around 10

seconds or so. Do this when you're not tired but hyper for better results. Alright guys, wait, before we continue, should we pop out the regulation F plus pixie sticks? Hey guys, I just turned Super Saiyan. I feel like I should do something with this.

Damn. You must be bored and not hyper. You need to be more hyper. I just got quad power. Yeah, I didn't hear you yelling at all. I yelled in my mind. Oh, shit, you're good. I know, right?

Wow. I know we're skipping over the the reviews of these but we're gonna miss out on the word Dai Long Bang in the or the name I should say Dai Long Bang King Iquan Master Dai Long Bang

no that's Daylong Bang. Come on. Wouldn't you rather have a Daylong Bang, maybe? Boots, I want to give you two things here from the Key Sanctuary. The first one is that you're going to be chrono here.

Just read the original post, and then I'll give you the second one to put it in context. Okay. Somebody's breathing heavy. He's coming down from that power up yeah White Rose you took me out of the darkness and brought me into the light

of just how much I do not know which is good I give you a big round of applause for being such a good friend and business partner No. Which is good. I give you a big round of applause for being such a good friend and business partner. Let's give him a hurrah! Hurrah! Hip, hip!

Hurrah! Raining face. Okay, and then a couple days later, Chrono made this post. Recently, my password to this site has been hacked. The videos and everything were not destroyed, but

someone, whether an admin or ChaosMagic or someone else, has framed me for posting bad feedback on the DCS. This means one of the people I gave the password to, Nick Bryson, innocent. Shen Ogdra, innocent. White Rose, sufficient means one of the people I gave the password to. Nick Bryson. Innocent.

Shen Ogdra. Innocent. White Rose. Sufficient proof since I recently gave him password. I'm not sure if that's hacking. That's hacking. Okay. Thunderguy.

I think Thunderguy is guilty, just by his name. Thunderguy! David Cantrell. Innocent. Innocent of... I'm thinking of Jerry Cantrell. Never mind. R.D.E.

Innocent. One of these men did it, and I have narrowed it down to one man. Will he solve the mystery? White Rose. I have narrowed it down to one man. Will he solve the mystery? White Rose... Did you see the proof? A lot of them said innocent, and then one of them had proof. Sufficient proof, since I recently gave him password.

White Rose, explain. Lately, you have sounded nervous on the phone when talking about this site. You never email me. You never talk to me or call me. I believe it was truth you tried to take over the site. He had to be the one,

and if not, then who else would have? None of the others had a reason, and I interrogated all of them, except White Rose, who did not have an alibi. Wait, there's your problem! That says a lobby? No, no, citrus, it's in a lobby.

It's in a lobby. Oh, it is in a lobby, you're right, sorry. This guy needs to watch more Law & Order SVU. Someone got on the photos and videos writing crude remarks such as, See me shit myself. photos, and videos writing crude remarks such as, See me shit myself

under the power-up video. See me make gay love under the water-throw technique. You gotta say which video it was for. These comments are poor. Yeah, there's, See me shit myself under the power-up video. See me make gay love

under the water-throw technique. me make gay love under the water throw technique. There's a lot of other funny remarks. Why wouldn't the water throw technique be some sort of Golden Showers reference? I don't know. Well, maybe because that's the ultimate expression of gay love and maybe other love involves a water throw. I'm picturing based upon the power up description

that we just read I'm picturing like what this video could look like and see me shit myself is probably something that a lot of people would post go ahead and delete these forums delete everything Bevan Nathaniel Van Leempt or should I say Ash Ashita Kim?

But if you truly did this, you will never be forgiven for your actions. No, you missed the best part. What? That whole Ashita Kim thing. I said that. That's hilarious. How did I miss it? I don't know.

He said it. Everybody was laughing over it. Okay. Want me to read the whole thing again? Yeah, sorry. Do it right this time. Stop laughing, everybody. I'm really not feeling your motivation on this scene, Boots.

I'm feeling it. I've been feeling it. Go ahead and delete these forums. Delete everything Bevan Nathaniel Van Leempt. Or should I say, Ashita Kim? But if you truly did this, you will never be forgiven for your actions. Wow. So that's what White Rose taught Crono to do, was to distrust people.

Well, that whole thing about, I mean... Huzzah! Hurrah! This is like all some conspiracy by Ashita Kim, and that's really hilarious. I mean, he's defining himself by his enemies. Ashita Kim basically wrote all those really crappy How to Be a Ninja in 20 Days

books in the 70s. Wow. You know more about the subject than I do. Well, I researched a lot of these things for the purpose of making a big submission to F+. Right. Yes, I learned something. I'll tell you what. Well, hang on, hang on, hang on. Something isn't adding up here, because the ACer was talking about the 70s earlier,

and now he's talking about the 70s again. I'm thinking that this story is, we're not getting to the bottom of it here. The 70s are a very memorable thing. I'm thinking that this story is... We're not getting to the bottom of it here. The 70s are a very memorable thing. Who can forget bell bottoms? Were you there? You're watching VH1. Why?

You should watch something else. This channel sucks. Man, I remember when I saw John Travolta on Saturday Night Fever. It was so crazy. I loved the 70s. Hey guys, remember Pet Rocks? Wacky. I just visualized a hole in your head with key power. Did it work? Oh, yeah. I was wondering where that was from. Alright, so I got energy and I don't know what to do with it. Yes!

Hey everyone! Let me first start by saying that I have done very little breath work beyond the four-fold breathe while meditating. Last night, I thought I would try something a little more shamanic and do fast-paced, maybe two breaths per second, rhythmic breathing to music. After only three minutes or so, I felt the most powerful vibrational energy of my life in my hands.

They literally felt like they were generating a highly powerful electric current. Now, I have done energy work many times and and rise energy in my body and move it around with no problems. It's just the magnitude of this energy was nearly overwhelming. In fact, it was so powerful I pulled the headphones off my head,

sat up, and just started laughing. I waited a few minutes for it to go away and tried the experiment again with the same results. Now, when I generally raise energy, I am capable of manipulating it. I can move it whenever I want and feel the sensation of it moving. But not so with this highly vibrational energy. It was static, and I could get it to go nowhere. Which is why I made this post.

Has anyone had an experience like this? If so, what are you supposed to do with all the energy? Is it aura? That would explain why it's harder to manipulate. Congratulations, you've just

hyperventilated. Congratulations, that's panting that's all that happened it's techno panting no no no there is no fucking way this guy was listening to anything but nu metal dude passing out to the music

first it could be your direct breathing technique as of higher vibrational energy it's pushing you body's Ow! First, it could be your direct breathing technique. As of higher vibrational energy, it's pushing you body's capacity and threshold, so your body is adapting to it. Saying that, doing it more and more, you'll be able to guide the energy better once your body learns to absorb it.

Yes, keep hyperventilating. Further, always make sure to ground and banish at the end and have a formal opening ceremony. This signifies beginning and end. Smiley face. What? What the fuck? Yeah, you know, you gotta have a guard with a torch.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, you gotta... Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun I'm gonna sit in my basement and yell at the wall. Oh, I gotta breathe really fast. I'm just saying, being a roommate with this guy must be great. Just out of nowhere, he's sitting at his computer and then stares at his hands and then gets right up.

Well, panting, stares at his hands, laughs, yells at the wall. Oh, two posts down, the guy just points to the Wikipedia article on hyperventilation. Way ahead of you. Yeah, I agree that rhythmic breathing can be powerful. It can raise the vibration of the energy in the hands just like rubbing a balloon can generate static energy. Emo! and raise the vibration of the energy in the hands just like rubbing a balloon can generate static energy.

IMO. Also, sometimes it is not so important to try to guide or control the energy in the body as long as you aren't creating an energy blockage or tension unintentionally. To an extent, it regulates itself, is harmonious, and does what it should on its own. I was on a whole pill regimen for my energy blockage.

Oh. You can just use some fiber. That'll help. Ask your doctor if Qigong is right for you. Side effects may include. So should we skip over Steve? Yeah, skip over Steve. Glass energy mittens. I don't think he's hyperventilating, Steve.

He specifically said he was doing four-fold breathing. That's nowhere even near hyperventilation, and the side effects you describe are all physical ones. Not spiritual ones. Why does your doctor ever ask you about spiritual side effects? What's that? Oh, Lord. side effects. Oh, Lord.

As for the OP, this topic isn't really my field of expertise. I only meditate and store key. I haven't really looked into harnessing it or do any internal arts. I just know how to meditate, but have on occasion felt what you have described. I always meditate before and after I lift weights or do heavy bag training. It's great for working out.

Shit, this guy and I have something in common, except I only meditate and store pee. I will not go to the bathroom. I will not go to the bathroom. Oh, here's a bottle. Oh. Nice, rich amber color. Good. Oh, there's a bottle. Nice, rich amber color. There's another Steve post. I don't think Steve can actually type anything.

He just quotes. He's a wiki bot. All he pointed out was that maybe he quotes Wikipedia and then does hyphen Steve. It's not even hyphen, it's a tilde. It's claiming ownership. Yeah. Steve posts a little Steve, like, as in... It's not even hyphen, it's a tilde. It's swinging ownership.

Steve posts a little further down. Well, there's another Tien Shin Shan Shroom Flim Flam post. It says, oh, I see. Sorry, I misread. Truly op. That wasn I misread. Truly, Op. That wasn't very smart.

Dude. Oh, he mellowed right out. One. It's not a good idea to try and pump up your energy by doing something unnatural. Re-stupid. That's not how you use regarding. Regarding stupid.

Yes. Well, yeah use regarding. Regarding stupid. Reply to stupid. It was an email. My favorite Harrison Ford movie. That's cutting corners and will only hurt you in the long run. Well, I shouldn't even say long run because you aren't going to get very far by doing stuff like that. You're just going to wind up hurting yourself.

Two, you should always, always have a foolproof method of grounding slash releasing energy before you even start working with accumulating energy. That's what the black wire is for. I've heard it said that you

should spend 70 to 80% of your energy work on grounding slash releasing techniques, maybe even 90% of your time depending on the type of energy you're working with and what you're using it for. Of course, as you become more experienced, the amount of time you spend on that gets less and less as you are better at handling energy, but, well, no offense, if you're having this problem, but... Well, no offense. If you're having this problem, you aren't very far along. So I highly suggest grounding-slash-relaxing-slash-releasing techniques. I suggest B.K. Francis' dissolving method,

which can be found in his book, Opening the Energy Gates of Your Body. You see, I've been grounding into my cat, and I've been finding that he punches me now when he wants to wake me up. Oh, that'll teach you. Treats! Does he charge up first? Oh, yeah.

I understand on end. Yeah. Up. Different breathing techniques, even very fast ones that are hyperventilating produce different effects I'm not saying that doing about two per second is necessarily wrong but at the very least you should

learn what the normal effects will be so that you do not confuse them as being something abnormal winky face tilde Steve what exactly Normal. Winky face. Tilda Steve. What exactly would hyperventilating do to someone's ki anyway? I imagine it'd do some pretty weird shit.

Well, it would send in into the head then the energy which would discharge. However, if done correctly, it can work for excitatory trances which can be used for magic with a K. As of Bia,

as of Bia, it's not very helpful. So that clears that up. It wasn't hyperventilating. He was having massage. Or magic. Why the hell did I say massage? That's massage with a K.

Just ignore me. Are you leaning in towards a Thurman when you speak? No. There's a humming sound that gets louder and quieter from you. Alright, how about now?

It's his key energy. Yeah, that's good. You need to discharge. Oh, sorry. You need to ground. He was supposed to be discharging earlier, but we kind of ruined it. I'm going to have to take my pants. I discharged so hard.

Are you running the dryer upstairs or something? Maybe. I don't know. Are you microw the dryer upstairs or something? Maybe. Are you microwaving popcorn? How did you know his dryer was upstairs? Well, I've had him over for company. I asked for projected using my key. Oh, right, that's it. That's K-E-Y, though.

He just walked in the door after unlocking it. Yeah, I broke into his house and did laundry. You wouldn't be the first. Alright, Boots, I got one for you. You're back to Crono here. Alright, Crono,

read your log of being healed. Wednesday, August 11, 2004. Finally I am healed. It was August 11, 2004. Finally, I am healed. It was merely my sleep cycles. I should try to be in bed asleep by 10pm or so every night, and then I would start feeling just fine.

Today is Wednesday, so... That's an interesting sentence. It continues on. Today is Wednesday, so... No. So it's important. It's today is Wednesday, so no Shodacon.

Yeah, but it's today is Wednesday, so... And then there's a new paragraph to finish that sentence. No Shodacon. I will train. At 9.50 a.m., I started healing David Cantrell. What? You may know him as Ryu the World Warrior. I am still, as

we speak, concentrating another experiment I am trying. I did a technique Gabriel showed me. I transformed to maximum and devoided myself of emotion. First I saw in my mind the earth and how full it is of life and people.

The salty seas, sparkling. The fish and life therein. Inside the fish? Now I have a semicolon. Which, you know, I guess he's used too many commas. One of? Now I have a semicolon. Which, you know, he's used too many commas. One of them has to be a semicolon. A semicolon transforms anything into

good grammar. Yeah, that's true. Now we're getting serious about these commas, man. The fish and life they're in, semicolon, the land and its great constructions upon it. Houses, roads, and cars with people and animals. Plants and...

Cars with animals? Well, no, not cars with animals. Cars with people and animals. Traveling, you know, together. Hey, man, I'm tired. Let the giraffe drive for a while. Giraffe might be driving, but... But only the animals that are in cars. Animals outside of cars he can't see. Yeah, fuck that. Let the giraffe drive for a while. Giraffe might be driving, but... Only the animals that are in cars.

Animals outside of cars he can't see. Yeah, they could suck a dick. Plants and their life-giving oxygen. Then I went further. I pictured the core of Earth... A core of Earth and the Moon, and then the Sun. You know, the core of the Sun.

Exploring the terrain and billions of planets and possibilities, existences. What? I visualized gathering energy from heaven and earth into one compact thing, myself. That's probably not that compact. Man, I get so full when I do that. Crono, you must be American. I thought about the expanse of Earth

and the billions of galaxies and how the Earth has been around for billions of years. And then I brought it all into me. I put it between a hamburger bun and ate it. Gabriel, Aerith, Kat. I pictured all my friends and loved ones healing each other and giving energy to the gigantic power-up. And then I used

Psy to program it to cover the whole entire Earth. The gigantic power-up. Which lets us all shoot in three directions at once. I turned the will and energy of the universe into a one-up mushroom. I was thinking more of a spread shot, but okay.

As I continued, I programmed it to heal people, whether they wanted it or not. Oh, God! Yeah, that's right. Fuck you, Jehovah's Witnesses. Oh, man, I'm sick today. I can stay in from work. No!

No! No! No! And that world peace would be achieved for at least 24 hours. Good luck. What is this bullshit with Gandhi getting his Nobel Prize? I'm the key master.

World peace for an entire day nothing, nothing for me and now we're back to the Rick Moranis thing I prayed to Christ for help and he said he would help this project somehow I'll get you

he hasn't really figured it out I visualized the core of earth exploding with healing. That doesn't sound like a good result. Kaboom! Oh, God! Too many Band-Aids! Oh, this is one of those paragraphs that splits, okay. So hot.

So here's how it's supposed to read. Because it does stop at healing, but it's supposed to be, I visualized the core of Earth exploding with healing holy light and brilliant steam destroying only the things getting in our way. I hear a buzzing noise since I did this, and I believe that if all the people I know will do this and add energy to it,

it will eventually change the face of the whole Earth, making it cleaner and less stressful. I think that he should call everybody he knows and tell them to do that. Yeah think that he should call everybody he knows and tell them to do that. Yeah. And they'll call their friends. She called them ten friends.

People that have not visualized this energy have been the makers of mud gum. I've visualized all hatred for even workers. Mud gum. They didn't complete the chain letter, and therefore they went out of business. Yeah, Microsoft did not give them $500.

That's a pretty great power-up. It's like, wow, there's world peace. Oh, hey, and I can double jump. I visualized all hatred for even murderers fading and their hearts turning pure. The governments of Earth being at peace. I'm glad for the governments.

They don't have to do anything anymore. This may not happen, but it is a worthy cause and not in vain. I believe if we all do this, it will change somehow for the better. I will copy and paste this to my What's New page

in the research journal. Wait! The research journal! It's in capital letters. It's a fucking research journal. If it's in capitals, it means it's peer-reviewed. Look, it's a wall. It's peer-reviewed. And also make it a project section

telling any new activities with the site, eventually adding nifty projects that we could all pitch in together. Ask the heavens, the stars, all of existence to heal you, said Gabriel to me in my meditation. This isn't meditating. Anyway, then I decided...

Yes, it is. You're not doing it right if you don't get asked by Gabriel shit. Hey, can you pick up my mail? Gabriel said to me in my meditation. Then I decided, what if we all did this to help not ourselves, but each other?

So I am starting this process to conquer any evil that may be after anybody. This guy should get in touch with the gang-stalking people. It's a small world. It sounds very far-fetched, I know. But with all the people on Earth doing the same thing, it would

be so extremely powerful. Think about the possibilities we could all accomplish without fighting amongst ourselves. What a better world this could be. Healing cancer patients and the paralyzed, the sick and wounded in war and hospitals. A complete collapse of the MMA industry. It's going to be a sneeze.

I bet they use Ki. I like his brief nod to reality. Like, look, I understand that me thinking about world peace doesn't do anything, but if ten people think about world peace, then we'll be on to something. Oh. Oh, we have yet to get to the best part.

Sorry, where was I? The sick and wounded in war and in hospitals. And people joining an entire planet for an international peace treaty. It is 10.32 a.m., and I have yet to deem this project a name. For now, I will call it the Universe Peacetime Project.

What? That's a pretty good acronym there. UPTP. Yes, UPTP. That's a UP toilet paper. I will now eat breakfast and train at full power. As well as help

my mother with the chores. Mom is not bored with the World Peace Time Project yet, but after I help the chores, she's going to be comfortable. I made the Universe Peace Time Project before breakfast. What did you do today? And I helped my mom with the chores. And in 42 minutes. I achieved world peace and cleaned my room, so suck it. Grown-up, what are you doing in there? I'm fucking curing genocide, Mom! Shut up!

I've only got two and a half weeks left of summer break. Well, what do you think? Will you all join and participate? All you have to do is try this once a day and meditate on what I mentioned in the healing of the Mother Earth. It would be a worthy cause and worth a try.

Please tell everyone you can about this and link them here. So let's review, shall we? The key to hearing everything that's bad in the world is if everybody wants good things to happen instead of bad things. He's finally solved it.

He was the guy that figured out, like, maybe I should just think about this stuff. Maybe I should consider world peace a priority. Holy crap. All right. You really hit the nail on the head. The only thing between us and World Peace

is everybody on Earth doing the same thing. And mom's chores. Yeah. No, I'm actually admiring him. Take out. That gets in the way. Well, you know, guys, I really don't think it's fair that we're making fun of him here. I mean, how many worldwide peace organizations have any of you founded?

Well, yeah, okay. Touché. Touché. I mean, the proof is in the pudding. That's all I'm going to say about that. I like pudding! Tell them, God damn it, you weren't invited to this. Well, you know what the first step is to starting a good organization for world peace?

Naming it like it's a Final Fantasy spell. Universal Peace Time! so there it is world peace has been declared and it's all through concentration it feels good declared and it's all through concentration it feels good it does it does i'm happy you know i'm i i feel like it's always you know world peace is always in the last place you look isn't it like you know all these people you know they they wanted world peace they gave out little prizes for world peace they tried to write books about world peace they gave money to world peace but nobody actually just sat in their parents bedroom and thought about it yeah and it really shows how far we've come you know we've gone from what so like it's like how telephones started they were just these little wires and now they're cellular it's like i mean look way back like what so many years ago whatever gandhi just got some

peace for india now we're curing the whole country and then the whole world i mean come on we're waiting as we as i as i learned at some point in this in this podcast um uh karma yeah karma accelerates so good things just keep getting better as long as they're good things yeah exactly john what did you think you learned today i learned that the um being able to use magic powers does not necessarily include being specific about anything. Because what I got from all we talked about is good does good things and makes bad things not bad.

And if we all think about good, then bad is not bad. You know what the key movement needs? Also, a magic ball appears in your hands. You know what the key movement needs? It needs mystery. And by mystery, I mean the asshole. It needs somebody that writes the

one book that everyone refers to because you need... There doesn't seem to be that fundamental text to it. There's no Koran for Ki. And I think it's lacking. Dragon Ball Z box set. There you go.

There you go. Maybe with commentary. And then the commentary could explain the whole thing. Exactly. I like it. Thanks to our readers. Thanks to you for listening. And I hope that you've been powered up

and will continue to be so yes now what's the first step if they need to get to the website okay so the first step the the first step are you ready okay i'm ready i'm ready ready the first step is that you go to the website okay go to the website by going to thefpl.us, there's a really cool thing that you can do there. Are you ready for it? Yes. Okay. Are you ready for it?

I'm ready. Yeah. Okay. I'll be right back. Okay. I'm going to be a while. We'll just have to cut this off. Sure.

I'm just discipling waiting. Yeah. No, it's going to be a good month. Like, I'm really, boy, I got dishes. They're stacked up. There's no amount of key power that's going to wash all these dishes. You know what? I was planning on breathing really fast and screaming at a wall anyway.

So take your time. I'll be here. Okay. Well, oh, you're still here. Well, that's all the time we have and uh thanks very much for listening and i'm sure you weren't expecting anything else so goodbye goodbye All right. Oh, I believe that's enough for a podcast. Oh.

Well, I believe that's enough for a podcast, yeah? Yeah, I think so. No, wait, wait, hang on. Isn't Citrus supposed to continually say, like, no, no, we need to do more stuff, and then Boots starts yelling at him? I'm trying to break up that trend this time. Yeah, no, Citrus, let's do that. What?

Wait, what? No. Oh, fuck. Oh, come on, we're done. We's do that. What? Wait, what? No. Oh, come on. We're done. We've got enough. I don't want to add it. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, fuck. Okay, we'll do another one. Sorry, I just wanted to do that. Was that fun for you? Yeah, that was good.

Wait, wait, hang on. Okay, so reading through, actually, Crono's post here, he apparently heard a buzzing noise since he did that. Oh. Is Asiero Collado our new messiah?

That's what I'm thinking. Oh my god. Please forgive us, oh mighty one, for doubting you. Please come back to us. We're sorry! Please forgive us, O Mighty One, for doubting you. Please come back to us. We're sorry! We're sorry! You're sorry. I have cured World Peace.

They're buzzing! Did you guys hear the buzzing? That means the peace is working. I've created World Peace. Here's what it sounds like. I've created world peace here's what it sounds like this noise makes it impossible for anyone to think about war