The F Plus - 130: Achievement Unlocked: Downloaded Podcast (40G)

Episode Date: March 14, 2014

When the internet shrunk our world, it became easier for everyone to compare their own lives against those of their peers and, invariably, feel meloncholy about what they've become and eat a bunch of ice cream. But there are those who rise above this sort of thing, and they are called gamers, or more accurrately, ---+==G4/\/\RZ==+-----. We're looking at True Achievements, a site that assigned each man a number, and then quickly went back to playing Halo again. This week, Mario Lopez steals your girl.

I think he's wearing a wicker fedora. That would be an excellent Nicolas Cage movie. No, not the Chiefs! Ah, they're in my eyes! Ah! Welcome to the F+, Terrible Things, Revenant Enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have BootsRainGear. I don't like people who know what red versus blue is, but don't know who rooster teeth are.

Bunny bread! My name is DuminatorX6, and my latest blog was entitled Eating Farts. Come quats up! Hello, I'd like to order Chivos Regal on the rocks. And Lemon. There are many haters out there telling people Chivos don't mean anything and Chivos take no skill.

Those are people that have low Chivos. Hey, F+. Hey. Hey, Lemon. How are you doing? Perfect. Good, good. Is your self-esteem in a good place? Are you all feeling really in a better place than yours?

Yeah. Suck them. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like there's things I haven't quite accomplished yet in life. Like, what haven't you accomplished in life yet? Well, okay, I haven't beat Call of Duty on expert mode yet. Sure, right, right. That's true, that's true.

That was on the bucket list. I haven't beat Call of Duty 2 on expert mode yet. Right, yep, yep. I have not beat Call of Duty 3 on expert mode yet. Have you played Call of Duty? Maybe one of them. Not yet. Yep. Have not beat Call of Duty 3 on expert mode yet. Have you played Call of Duty? Maybe one of them. Yeah. Yeah.

So I want to introduce you to a, you know, because sometimes if you're in a low point, you need people that are inspirational figures. People who you can look up to. People who have the credibility. People who you can look up to people who have the credibility people who you can learn from so to that end we're going to trueachievements.com it is a terrific place

and it's all about people who achieve now what does achieving mean that's a stupid question the answer is getting points in xbox yay I could do that by beating call of duty on

expert you probably well i don't know so uh so this is true achievements uh it's a wonderful place and most people agree the one person who doesn't agree is coziest parasite um and uh come Parasite. And come quiet. If you'll take the words of Coziest Parasite, please. Hello, I'm Coziest Parasite. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Anytime we're gonna read anyone's profile, and this is an important rule, we need to read what

their gamer score is. Because that's important. I mean, that's how you rank people. I don't know what... Where's my... It's right beneath your name. Yeah. It's more... It's the big number.

It's bold next to your name. Your name isn't bold. The number is bold. My name is Cozius Parasite, and my gamer score is 100,050, 320. Yeah. 100,050. 100,050,000. Just all20,000. Yeah. $100,000, $50,000. Just all in brigand.

All right. Anyway, what did you have to say, Cozy as Parasite? This website is shameful. Oh, is it? Or at the very least, it promotes shameful behavior. That's the way we're here. Like joining this website. First off, allow me to say that I love video games.

Oh. Yeah. I've grown up playing them. Way to go out on a limb there. And wouldn't trade my game experiences for anything in the world. What about like a social life? What about more gamer score? Yeah, there you go.

You could be 300,000. I've sunk tens of thousands of hours into various games across a multitude of genres and living in the online age has allowed me to share just as many hours with friends and strangers alike.

But this website and many others like it have essentially destroyed online communities. No. And have turned some of my favorite games' online components into stressful, aggravating competitions to just stay in a game. Okay. Tell me about what happened last night. Last night, I attempted to play Battlefield Bad Company,

and though it was admittedly very early in the morning, around 4 a.m. EST, I was still excited to see that there were people playing. Good capacity for excitement. Wait a minute, don't they have jabs? What's the word? Jabs? Jabs? Unfortunately for me, the game

had been hijacked by members of this website. And I was not allowed to participate in the match. You will fly this plane to Achievement Town. Games with seldom downloaded DLC are often

taken over in similar manners. Okay. I don't see how you wasn't allowed to join in their reindeer games or whatever. The behavior of this West Side community is both disgusting and appalling, and many of you

should be ashamed of yourselves. That's usually not a combination you see together. Your lust for gamer score leads you to hold people's paid-for Xbox Live privileges hostage in some of their most favorite games. And yet you continuously, in fact, the player bases of seldom-played video games and have forever perverted any sense of elation I used to feel when playing such games.

Okay. Really? That really takes away your... Okay, great. Sure. in fear of boosters and achievement hunters who either brutally force non-boosters out of the game or unlock their achievements

and never play again. They forced you out of the game. Hey, man. If you ain't boosting, you ain't nothing. Yes. Achievements are the... Oh, gee, just let me play, guys!

Or the bag of pills. A bunch of players all join the server and they're all walking slowly towards me while snapping their fingers. Everybody's avatar is wearing acid-washed denim vests. Hey, boosters! Come out to play!

All right, skip to the last paragraph, please. I urge you to consider other people's feelings when playing and boosting games. Does he mean stealing?

Does he mean stealing? Yeah, getting these games off the back of a truck. Helping them over a fence. There is no justification for ruining people's experiences like this, and to continue such

behavior will forever segregate the Xbox Live community, and only further the anger and resentment some people already feel towards boosters and people with high gamer scores. Oh no! It's a race war!

Boots, you are 2, no scope, 45-1. Yeah. Oh god, that's a real name. I am. Yep! I'm 2, no scope, 45-1. I have 537,537 points. Having boosted Battlefield Bad Company a few months ago, I can tell you that the community on game is full of team-killing,

trash-talking dickheads long before us boosters got the game. Have you played Call of Duty? Those games are full of foul-mouthed 10-year-old kids who are a lot worse than any boosters. You are a idiot if you think booster ruins communities. Who the hell wants to play a game like Turning Point for 2,500 kills?

Why don't you play newer games where there's less chance of running into boosters? The truth is, we are going to stop boosting just because some people cry about it. Oh, well that's nice. Nice two no-scope 45-1. I didn't mean the opposite of that. Without boosting, I would say at least half the online achievements on Xbox would be unobtainable due to lack of players.

Oh, dear. Also, I noticed you have gaming session feedback from Homefront and Shadowrun. By doing that, surely you are ruining the communities. Stop being a hypocrite. Nice. Yeah. Coziest Parasite, do you have a response to NoScope 45.1? Yeah.

Good. Alright. This pretty much confirms my suspicions. You guys are nothing but selfish, greedy assholes. My Shadowrun sessions was done completely in a private match, and Homefront consisted of nothing more than

joining a 16-person party. I have never once participated in the hijacking of public games, and those that do are preventing people from playing games. Skip down to the last paragraph, because I really like it. Mark my

words, you heathens! Yeah, something about that paragraph I like like i don't know what it is your persistence in bullying people out of public matches and lobbies will only serve to condemn websites such as this and there will come a day when the tables are turned and it is boosters who are actively discriminated against. Oh, man. Good luck getting your precious little achievements when it is you who is persecuted.

This is who Phil Oakes sang for. Okay, your references check out. This is looking pretty good here. I see your qualifications are off the charts. I do see that you did some game boosting back in the early 20-teens. I'm really sorry. This is not the place for you.

You're never going to be a senator because that's how they hire senators. That is. That is how they hire senators. So, you know, I do. I hate to start with the dark stuff. But, you know, we read about that fight. That fight, by the way, that we read goes on for 19 pages. Jesus. Does everybody die in the end, hopefully? read, goes on for 19 pages. Jesus.

Does everybody die in the end, hopefully? Yeah, probably. Let's just assume. But, you know, we're going to read another perhaps dark post. This is by DuminatorX6. That sounds like bunny bread to me. Yeah. DuminatorX6.

Holy shit, DuminatorX6. And this is his blog. He has his own blog on true achievements. That seems pointless. All right. Pointless. That's a word. That's the last time we'll use that word tonight.

Okay. What's your blog post called? Wait, first of all, I don't even know what the fuck your gamer score is. I don't even know what to pay attention to you. Yeah I don't even know if I should pay attention to you. Yeah, my God. Excuse me. Let me establish. Alpha male-ism.

Howdy. My name's DuminatorX6. Got me a 608501 points in the gamers. But apparently that's 290,565 in Canadian points. Yeah. How does that work? I don't understand. The exchange. Those are called loon points. Yeah. How does that work? I don't understand. Those are called loonies.

Sure. Alright. What's happening? This is the end all. Well, I might as well explain what influenced my decision to leave the world of Chivos, which I love. Spicy.

Or just puffed cheese. Chivos! Chivos! Oh! I want to just tell everyone, because I know that everyone's doing exactly what I'm doing, which is enjoying the word chivos. You don't need to

enjoy this one, because it's going to show up a lot more! That's their word! They use it constantly! It doesn't have an apostrophe, so it's just, show up a lot more. What's great is it's their word. They use it constantly. It doesn't have an apostrophe. So it's just like you don't even have to assume that people haven't heard the term before. Not cheap. Yeah, nobody's putting in quote marks anymore.

Yeah, it's just Chivos. Yeah. All right. Chivos. You may have noticed that retired blurb. Now that, retired, that's in the quotation marks. Chivos. That's the standard part of the lexicon there.

All right. You may have noticed that retired blurb in my biography, so I figured I'll go into a little more detail. Okay, great. Back in high school, which was last year, Chivos, we're still calling them these, ain't we? I would hope so. I love it. Ever since my first paragraph, we haven still calling them these, ain't we? I would hope so. I love it.

Ever since my first paragraph, we haven't... Okay, good. Time flies. Takes me a long time to type. Chivos were a fairly well-discussed topic. After all, most of my weekends consisted of me hanging out with my pot-smoking buddies, eating Domino's pizza, and playing Xbox. I am the stereotypiest.

And of course, everyone with an Xbox 360 had Chivos. It was a wild time. You kids wouldn't understand. Just like a room full of teenagers all wigged out on Chivos. Oh, man. Wake up, wake up. No, he O.C.'d. All right, well, tell me more,

because I want to know the Doominator X6 origin story. But not that many people I knew at the time had a whole lot. The most I can recall was from a guy I roomed with back on a band trip back in 2008. And he had about 30,000 or so.

At the time, I'm sure that was very impressive. Yeah, inflation and whatnot. Yeah, we lose sight of those kind of numbers. A little bit before that, I was trying to sell a game. Prey, I believe, but was having some difficulty doing so. A friend pointed me towards a really, really big stoner in school. He was like seven feet tall, made of weed. Smoke poured out of his eyes.

Had Funyuns for keep going this is way more interesting than whatever you were reading every time he spoke plaid shirts would fall out alright go back to the content alright shit and when I met the guy my friend told me my friend told him about my chivos.

It sounds like an STD at this point. In a hushed whisper, I assume. Show it, man. Just show him the rash. I swear he shat himself right there. And I believe I was at 55,000, roughly. I can't remember. At 55,000, roughly, I can't remember.

Pretty much overnight, I went from being just an average Joe to one of the most popular guys in school. I'm going to read that again because I don't even believe it. Pretty much overnight, I went from being just an average Joe to one of the most popular guys in school, thanks to my video game score. I'm dead fucking serious. Yeah, yeah, dead fucking serious. Yeah, so we're at the high point in the Chivo addiction. Yeah, this is Wolf of Wall Street, like, the midway point. Hanging out with all the power players and nice ladies.

I felt like God. You know, if God had a good video game score. Or maybe I'm just being full of myself. Maybe. Maybe. My point? Don't really have one. Oh, right.

There's a point to this. My point? Back then, it was something everyone could relate to. It was a common topic. But we've all grown up since then. Well, not me or anyone I know. We've all grown up. I've been out of high school for years now.

My point being is that it was something I enjoyed because I was happy to boast about it and be recognized. Then there's the whole Duminator persona. Oh, sure. I want to know where that came from, because there's got to be a story behind Duminator X6. As people don't seem to get, even though I explain it constantly, mostly just to people who are...

I explain it constantly. Mostly just to people who are watching. I play up myself as a complete self-centered fuck on live. Jesus Christ. I'm very unique in that regard. So all of the goddamn

fucking racist assholes on Xbox Live. They're just playing a fun character? Yeah, it's all ironic. They're all asking about it, but they're somehow pronouncing it wrong. The pronounce the um part as um.

Alright. Yeah, so that post goes on for quite a while. But anyway, so that post goes on for quite a while. But anyway, so DuminatorX6 is retired. He is no longer in this community, and that's why he was last on the site today at 1 o'clock in the morning. at 1 o'clock in the morning. That's why his last blog post was from about a week ago.

So he's retired. So this is another post by DuminatorX6. Boots, if you'll tell us about the... Just tell us about your Duminator X6-ness. Yeah, yeah. Duminator X6 here. Remind me of your gamer score. My gamer score is still 608, 501,

and then 290, 565 in Canadian. I know I should be listening to you then. Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty big around here. I got so many Chivos. Anyway, is everything good? Everything going well? It's good. Put a eul big around here. I got so many Chivos. Anyway, is everything good? Everything going well? It's good.

You know, put a eulogy out here. Oh. Oh, God. Did somebody die? Yeah. Well, sort of. What happened? Rest in peace.

Okay. Chivo is the movie. Moment of silence. Yeah. A tragedy has befallen all mankind. Took the words right out of my mouth. Yeah, B-Boy 360's magnum opus, Chivo's the movie, failed to meet its funding goal. Oh, no.

See, I don't believe in many certainties in life. I was certain it would hit its funding goal. Yeah, as much as I have to applaud 360 for his initiative in wanting to make this movie, his expectations may have been a little too high. But hey, it was his first film. Don't say you wouldn't aim a little too high without knowing it first time.

So, do you want to know the numbers? I do. Okay. So, Chivas, the movie, B-Boy 360 reaching 100,000 gamer score. This is on Kickstarter. Kickstarter.com, yeah. So he's got a goal of $130,000.

What? What? He's got a goal of $130,000. Yeah, that seems reasonable. And he made it all the way to $232. Holy shit. That's from three backers. If you, by the way, I was looking at this a couple days ago.

If you want to see the fucking worst breakdancer you will ever see in your life, we will have a link on the F Plus of B-Boy Crust Dog's YouTube channel, because it is stunning. Oh, boy. Yay. Well, yeah, three cheers for B-Boy 360. Yeah, anyway, so tell me about what happened there. My biggest complaint was that he was asking for far too much money, just shy of $150,000. Sure. $150,000. Sure.

$150,000. Not to mention the movie itself really failed to draw interest. Sure, I guess one of those two factors matters. Yeah, I suppose. Yeah. If you had one of those, you'd be okay. He was asking for too much money. Also, the concept was bullshit.

My biggest complaint, if I had one complaint, it would be that, you know, the funding was unrealistic and nobody was interested. Sure. Anyway, it's about 360 breaking 100 Chivos, then trying to pick up chicks at the club, but he runs into a chick with more Chivos than him.

Oh, damn! But guess what? What? Stallion 83 is the same club. I smell shenanigans. That's the... What? Huh?

Uh-huh. Okay. Stallion 83 is the same club. I do smell shenanigans. Damn, you just got Shyamalan's right there. Smells like burnt toast. Yeah, I smell Shyamalanigans. There you go.

Awful. Yeah. That plot can work. Hell, my brain went nuts thinking of potential plots for this. But sadly, the movie was just flying in chivo leaders. Which is a term. Yeah, and giving them courtside seats to a basketball game. Then some clubbing scenes and whatnot.

That's not a movie. You're just pampering your actors. And I'm using that term lightly. I'm not saying that if you have a lot of chivos, you can't act, but odds of you having acting experience are low. But with all the chivo time. Sure.

Not to mention, how the hell would you make a movie out of this? Some people with chivos, now it's in quotes, okay? Some people with chivos, now it's in quotes, okay? Some people with chivos watching basketball and then going to a club, you'll be lucky if you can make it to the 30 minutes of that

without boring the shit out of the audience. Why watch your... Suddenly I'm very negative about this. What the hell? A movie about dorks playing video games? Oh, yeah, okay. Why watch your movie when I could just TiVo a basketball game and then go to a club myself? Okay, fair enough, right?

Hell, I could get drunk at that club, too, and show everyone my Chivos. Wait, does Chivos mean what we still think it means? Not that I've done that before. Oh, God. 360, I admire your passion and vision. Sort of. But you have to start off small and work your way up from there.

Nobody will want to give that sort of money to some dude with Chivos and MySpace friends. Note this article was written this year. Right. Until you build a name for yourself. Okay. Or hell, wait a few years and I'll be out of college

and we can knock this fucker out of the park. We'll make Titanic look like an Uwe Bull movie. Oh shit, Doom and Interact 6 and B-Boy 360 team and forces together. That's it. Yeah, combined together we've got like 700,000 cheetos. Yeah, world consider

yourself conquered. So, uh, got like 700,000 Cheetos. World, consider yourself conquered. So the Kickstarter I was talking about, where there was a $130,000 goal and there was $232 pledged, that was unsuccessful. Oh. But that is one of his two funding projects. He also tried the exact same thing on Indiegogo. Do we get to see more breakdancing? Looking for $130,000, he did not get $232. Instead, he got $0.

Oh, fantastic. So that's more or less. There is more breakdancing. So, okay, so I just want to tell you about myself. Okay, PlayboyBboy360 reaching 100,000 Chivos and 55k MySpace friends. What happens when he meets a gamer chick with more gamer score? Okay, will Bboy360 find love when he breaks 100,000 Chivos and he meets a top gamer girl? The Chivos movie will cover B-Boy 360, breaking 100,000 Xbox Chivos.

Parentheses, gamer score. But that's not even a correct use of Chivos, then. If a Chivo is a point, then it's not short for achievement. Oh, it's so confusing. And meeting a top gamer girl in a club filmed in Hollywood. Will he find love? Or will it be awkward, period? No, no, no.

What? What will it be? It will just be awkward. Awkward. Awkward. What happens when famous gamers like Stallion83, gamer score leader, will show up? Also, period. I hate question marks.

That's star power. Yeah, totally. Will B-Boy 360 become jealous of Stallion83? Will Gamer Girl leave B-Boy 360 and go after Stallion83? Will B-Boy 360's breakdancing impress the gamer girl enough to make up for his lower gamer score? This is all part of the movie plot. Oh my god.

If you don't know B-Boy 360, and that's fucking unlikely, but just in case... Everybody knows B-Boy 360. I named my first three children B-Boy 360. So you... Do you know them all, though? No. I named my first three children B-Boy 360. So you, do you know them all, though? No.

I don't know the myth that they are based off of. Just B-Boy 360 bread had a nice ring to it. Okay, so here are B-Boy 360 stats. 100,000 Xbox Chivos, parentheses, gamer score, slash 55,000 MySpace friends,

parentheses, record holder. Oh, damn! You just got the MySpace friends, parentheses record holder. Oh, damn. You just got the MySpace-iest. 80,000 YouTube views. I think I have 80,000 YouTube views. Yeah, but how good is your break dancing? Wait, hang on, though. You probably don't have this.

Rated 9.5 on Hot or Not. Oh. is rated 9.5 on Hot or Not. Oh. Like we're going back in time with each one. Yeah, install the hamster dance on computer. And finally, member of the True Achievements Hall of Fame and number 63 in Connect Chivos.

Oh, shit. I want to get the other 62. More details of the plans are as follows. The movie will start with B-Boy 360 breaking 100,000 Xbox Chivos, parentheses gamer score. Need to keep helping you out with that. And celebrating with his friends. After hearing about the B-Boy 360's milestone, Stallion 83 calls him out to hang out with him in Los Angeles, which is

different from Hollywood. B-Boy 360 and Stallion 83 meet many important people and go to exclusive nightclubs where they meet a top gamer girl with more gamer score than B-Boy 360. This is the third time I've explained this plot point. What happens exactly here will be unknown.

The important part is there's a girl. It will be unknown. Once the movie's come out, exactly here will be unknown. The important part is there's a girl. It will be unknown. Once the movies come out, it will still be unknown. Yeah, we forgot to film. So, there you go. Here's me breakdancing in a loop for three hours. Well, wait. Hang on. I do know this,

though. There will for sure be a big power struggle. Okay. There will be break dancing and fans. Oh, I love those. And autograph signings and much, much more. Now, you're looking at that $100,000 and you're just like, oh, B-Boy 360, you're so sexy, but how come you need all that money? I'll explain. There is expenses.

Here are the expenses. Expense number one, I got to fly in Stallion 83 to? I'll explain. There's expenses. Here are the expenses. Expense number one. I got to fly in Stallion 83 to be in the movie. That makes sense. Got to do that. I also have to fly in a famous gamer girl. You got to find one of them, probably. That one's in Capitals.

I need to rent out a nightclub in Hollywood. Right? Makes sense. I also need, more importantly than the nightclub, because that's a set, but more importantly than that, I need Laker tickets for Stallion 83 and B-Boy 360. Yeah, so they can get discovered by the Lakers. Yeah. No, not Lakers.

Laker. Oh, Laker tickets. Perhaps less importantly than the Laker tickets, filming and production costs. And finally, if funding goes over. No. Okay, right. You're right. If fooding goes over, we will get more celebrities to be in the movie.

No. To be in the what? Oh, my God. Start over from the beginning. Do this right. If fooding goes over, we will get more celebrities to be in the beginning. Do this right. If Putin goes over, we will get more celebrities to be in the moive and the maybe. The Gamerscore

Popcast crew. Perfection. Now that's English. Oh my god. I know there's going to be difficulties. Scheduling and coordinating the nightclub filming will be hard. Myself and the team have experienced many of the aspects of this

oh yes I had a Jager bomb once Stallion 83 or other top gamer oh shit I'm already cutting him off Stallion 83 is just I thought he was non-negotiable and a gamer

girl with over 330,000 gamerscore. I love that casting call! Okay, for the part of gamer girl with over 300,000 who did we have show up? Stallion 83, is that his name? Oh,

shit. That's it? Boy, you are fucking hideous, and you can't seem to remember your lines. But you played a lot of Assassin's Creed, so welcome to the team! You're also the owner of Chivos.com, so... I am the owner of Chivos.com. That's an accomplishment. It sure is.

We'll have to fly them the same week. Stallion 83 is in Tennessee, so he isn't far away. That's how flights work. On that night, the nightclub will allow us to film at the strip club, and we will rent out a specific section. Oh, that's very nice of the nightclub. Yes, pay us money and you can arrive. All this will be set up when we get funded and plan specific dates.

We will do two nights to make sure that we get all the group shots. Other parts of the movie can be filmed individually. That's true. They certainly can. They really can. He really has thought this through. If Stallion83 or the gamer girl backs out, oh my god, I can get the next person

with the highest gamer score and there are five gamer girls that I can contact if the one I have in mind backs out. Oh my. He's saying he knows five gamer girls with a score of over 300,000.

Yeah, I do. I'm B-boy 360, motherfucker. Watch me break dance. Yeah, I do. I'm B-Boy 360, motherfucker. Man. Watch me break dance. There, I'm done. Yeah. What's that? What's that?

Is that Mr. Pibb? Is that Mr. Pibb? You should put Jagermeister in the Mr. Pibb. Hey, B-Boy 360. What's that? Do you have any tips on dating? Hell yeah in the Mr. Pip. Hey, Bboy360. What's that? Do you have any tips on dating? Hell yeah, I do. Okay, no matter if you're a guy, a girl, whatever,

Chivos impress people. It's almost like saying, well, I got tons of Chivos. There are tons of people online that are interested and respect me. It's almost like saying that. It's pretty close. Anyway, you might. I have a specific question here. Oh, sure. What's that?

Yep. What happens if you're Chivo talking at a bar or over a party, and someone says that they have more Chivos than you? Well, hopefully, they are just hating and lying. First, look up their score with your cell phone. Make sure you have a page bookmark where you can check, obviously. I mean, what the fuck's the point of having a cell phone otherwise? If you catch them in a lie, you look even better.

If they are telling the truth and have more chivos than you, leave. Nothing else you can do. Okay. Wait. What happens if I brought a date? Leave. This has never come up before. She is on his dick now.

If you brought a date. Oh, fuck. Oh, sorry. I'm just amazed by the truth. I think you're kidding in your response, but you're not. Good lord. Okay, unless you... If you brought a date, odds are...

Oh, Jesus Christ! My joke answer is his real thought. All right, yeah, if you brought a date, odds are she's going to be impressed with the highest gamer score and ditch you. Get out as soon as you can and go to some other party. Wait, wait, keep going. There's no way we can stop now. Wait, wait, keep going There's no way we can stop now Listen, I've heard many females that have Over 100,000

Complain that they have a limited dating pool Because they don't want to date down Right? That's how that expression works This cannot be real It totally is This guy fucking commits himself Like, you know All sorts of girls, like Darth Sephiroth This cannot be real. It totally is. This guy fucking commits himself.

There are all sorts of girls like Darth Sephiroth, 69, 69. That's a chick. She totally said that I was the handsomest. And if I sent her 50 grand. Listen, this could get very complicated. You might want to have one night stand with somebody of B-Boy 360's looks, but it's another thing to show up at E3 holding hands with someone that only has 20,000 Chivos. Also, you'll spend all your money on lube, because if you're fucking a guy, right, and he's fucking a guy and he has 50,000 Chivos, you'd be like, oh, my pussy can't get wet. I can't do it.

I'm sorry. Mountain Dew makes a lube now for that. I try to find, I'm sorry, that last thing that I said, that was not B-Boy 360. That was Lemon saying that. Everything else, however. Everything else. thing that I said that was not b-boy 360 that was lemon saying that everything else however everything else like a mathematical formula that I have to apply to myself in a way that doesn't make

any sense oh no problem I've got an equation I'm still working on to help you with dating on your level okay oh good okay points equals parentheses chivos times two right all right okay plus YouTube views okay Points equals parentheses, Chivos times two, right? All right, okay. Plus YouTube views.

Okay. Plus social media fans, MySpace, Facebook. Okay. Okay, plus open parentheses, breakdance skill leave levy. Breakdance skill levy. Are those like belts in karate? Yes. Yeah.

Another open parentheses, one through ten. No, one minus ten. Oh, like belts in karate? Yes. Another open parentheses. 1 through 10. No, 1 minus 10. Oh, yeah, you're absolutely right. 1 minus, so 9. Okay. Negative 9. Negative 9. Okay. Close parentheses, times 50,000. Close parentheses. Okay. Got it? So, what he's saying is

that your breakdance skill makes your points go down. Yeah. Excellent. No. Your breakdance skill, which points go down. Yeah. Excellent. No. Your breakdance skill, which is as given as 9. Yes. There's no moving away from that 9. If you breakdance, you're pretty much negative 9. I'm sorry. Yes.

That is fantastic. Hey, bboy360. Yeah, what's up? I got a question. What's that? I have an Xbox. Sure you do. Yeah, that's awesome.. What's that? I have an Xbox. Sure you do. Yeah, that's awesome. That's fucking awesome. I want a tweet on it.

I don't, help me. Help, please help me. You want a tweet on your Xbox? Yeah. Yeah, no problem. As soon as I figure out where the fuck you're looking, I will absolutely, oh shit, okay. Yeah. Okay.

Click on it. Yeah. Yeah. Look. Uh, where am I looking? Oh, hey. Hey, guys. It's B-Boy 360.

Oh, yeah. You sound awesome. Hey, what's up, B-Boy 360? I'm so awesome, I split in two. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, it's the other B-Boy 360. We share this account to rack up more chivos and get better dates. So, uh,

Xbone tweet is called Zeet. Yeah, I came up with a Zeet. Came up with? This new Xbone followers things could replace Twitter. It's gonna be great. I have detailed out why these new followers could replace Twitter here. My blog post. Wouldn't you want to follow

LeBron James playing Xbone? Yeah, I mean, LeBron James is known for playing video games, after all. It's not basketball that we would follow. It just follows the reason. Come on. No, no, he's really good at NBA sports game.

Very good. You made it through the end of that. Why did none of us say z-z-z-z-motherfucker? Oh, you're right. How much would you pay for a B-Boy 360 autograph? Oh my god, I'd say upwards of $2.99. Eh, you're gonna have to go to $10.

You can get $10 for a 5x7. You can get an autographed... Can I pay in shibas? If you don't want to get the photo, if you want something you can wear, you can get an autographed started hat.

Wait. Wait. I have a question. What will you give me if I give you $500? If you give me $500, shit, that's on this page. Okay. It's me. It's me, bboy360. Notboy 360 net you boys. Okay. Yeah, what's up? Hey you want to fuck each other later? Boy do I have a chivos you go? Oh? Yeah?

With their chivos combined into one mega chivo like that's why I want to fuck him yeah, okay? Don't you hate it when you got the attention of a cool group of people and someone like B-Boy 360 or Mario Lopez comes in and steals away all your attention? Who's another awesome person? Who's another great human being? Who's the most famous person I can think of? Who's Mario Lopez? You're me. You know this. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm you. I can think of. Who's Mario Lopez? You're me.

You know this. Oh, yeah. I'm you. I was lemon talking. This card will make B-Boy 360 leave a public place like a bar or a club so you have room to work. Oh, that's a useful fucking card, actually. You can make B-Boy 360

go away? Yeah. Yeah, fucking get rid of me. Hey, I'm on this club, B-Boy 360. away? Yeah. Yeah, fucking get rid of me. Hey, hey, hey, I'm on this club, B-Boy 360. It's called the internet. Leave. No. It's safe forever. All right.

Yeah, so we got a little bit. It's time to finally say goodbye to X-Makes-A-Piece. No, never, never. If you want more B-Boy 360, you can either go to chivos.com, or you can go to bboy360.com. The background of bboy360.com is Adidas Nike Spam Puma. Adidas Nike Spam Puma. Adidas Nike Spam Puma. Adidas Nike Spam Puma. Adidas Nike Spam Puma.

Anyway, B-Boy Crest Dog. But we're going to leave there because we need to go back to the subject at hand, which, of course, is true achievements. So let's talk about some gaming confessions. Boots, if you'll start us off, System of a Dom. Are we on FetLife all of a sudden? It's not a terrible name,

though. Like, it's kind of funny. Kind of. I guess. Tell us your gaming confessions. I am System of a Dom. I have 205,806 gamer points. Oh, shit, I just realized your name's probably not a fetish thing. I bet it's a

Gears of War reference. Come clean about your gaming confessions. We only want to know what goes on in your bedroom after hours as long as they're about gaming. One. I thought that in the game Donkey Kong

Mario was called Donkey Kong. Oh, god. I wouldn't admit that in the game Donkey Kong, Mario was called Donkey Kong. Oh, God, I wouldn't admit that in public. Jesus, wow, that's... Wow. B-Boy 360 just stole your woman right there. Being a PlayStation owner, I always said I'd never buy an Xbox. Number three, I've made buy an Xbox. Number three, I've made my wife cry

with excessive gaming. Now which one of these do you think he's most ashamed of, strangely? And number four, I have played a Pokemon game and enjoyed it. I played a video game. Bunnybread, you'll take the writing of Albajos. Oh, okay. Albajos, by the way, $377,000. Thank you, of Albajos. Oh, okay.

Albajos, by the way, 377,000. Thank you. That was going to be the next question. Well, hello. My name is Albajos. I have, I already forget, a lot of points. Achievos. Parentheses, gamer score.

I do own the guy game for Xbox. Thankfully, it is a non-applicable version, so I never would get to play it. Having played many similar games... Wait, you bought a game that you can't play? Like, somewhere on the CD there's tits. Yeah! I keep scanning it. Got it on my steampunk Monocle

in Chicago. Having played many similar games, Glula 3D is probably the worst. But what can you expect when you develop games based on a rating rather than actually think about gameplay?

Nice! Yeah, you like quality. Sucker. I did actually want to develop that type of games myself and actually make it worthwhile to play. Worthy to play. But after playing one poor game

after another, it seemed rather impossible. But a game version of American Pie could be fun to make at least. Just an example. I'm not considering this. Also, I fucked a pie. But it was a Kinect Pie. It was okay.

It was okay. That would be a nice test to see what the Xbox could actually encourage people to do. Also, it's good to give work to Eugene Levy. That's true. Yeah, he's just never in enough shit. Just never in enough shit.

The problem is he just says no too often. Yeah, he does. It's like, no, I don't want to do that. Yeah, the world needs more of him. That would make me, though. Kumquat, are you looking at the document there? Yes. If you'll take the words of Andy L. Simmons.

Andle Simmons. And deal. Gamerscore of 99,219. Thank you. I was wondering what I had. Hello on Monday. I was playing my brothers. He got Smash

Bros for his birthday and I wanted to play. When he got home and saw me playing it, he broke down into tears and hid in his ROM for two hours. Boots, back to System of a Dom. Several times, Possessive, I have come home during work while driving a delivery van

and played my Xbox for a few hours, also Possessive, each time, getting my achievement fix, then going back out to work to finish my day! Jesus Christ! Yep, I have also done this to buy gig tickets, also possessive, when they go on sale at stupid times, you know the drill, in the morning! What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Actually, the exclamation

point is on the outside of the parenthesis, so like, in the morning, then you know, do that at the end. Stupid times in the morning! Wee! Buddy Brad, you're looking for some help. No.

Or something. No, I've hit perfection here, clearly. You can always get a little bit better. You can always Chivo a little more. Oh, you're right. I have a mere 83,661 Chivorinos. Good lord. I really hate myself. I'm gonna go

punch myself in the dick for a while. I kind of forget which numbers are impressive at this point. I know that 100,000 Chivos was B-Boy 360's gatekeeper kind of thing. Yeah.

Oh, Morpheus. Yeah. So. Oh, Morpheus. Okay. Hello. This is Morpheus 414. I have 83,661 points. Thank you for

inviting us. Hold your applause till the end. Get some more Chivos, asshole. Excuse me. Thank you. Hello, asshole. Excuse me. Thank you. Hello, everybody.

I posted in this forum because I'd like a favor from as many of you as possible. I'm in the middle of making a video walkthrough series of Ms. Explosion Man on hardcore mode. And to make sure people don't get bored watching it, I've left Easter eggs throughout each video. Each time I grab a pair of shoes, which has only happened three or four times so far. We're speaking in real life, aren't we? What the hell? I really would like to think it has nothing to do with video games now. Each time I grab a pair of shoes,

I don't wear them very often, which has only happened three or four times so far in my life. I've had a voice clip of me screaming, Shoes! That's not an easter egg. No. That's annoying bullshit. Yeah. That's the same annoying bullshit that everybody else

who posts these videos on YouTube does. Terrible. Having some fun with it. I'm all about fun. Anyway, I decided to get the shoes in every level at last world I've recorded. But it turns out there's pretty much only four ways I can scream, Shoes!

There's... Okay. That's a problem, yeah. You know in California they have over a thousand ways to say shoes. Shoes. Zapatos. Let's get some shoes. Calcitines.

I don't know any other. That's where you come in. Please, please, please. If you were so kind to send in a voice clip of you or someone you know screaming shoes as loud, excitedly high-pitched as you can, or do what you want with it. Just scream anything. Or don't scream. Or don't send me anything.

Make it your own. Add an accent or a lisp. Anything. Just I have an erection and a foot fetish. Fine. Okay, great. Boots, give me one. A shoes!

That's good. That's nice. Great, okay. Come, Quasar. Shoes! That's okay. That's useful. Bunny bread?

Shoes! What? Sure. shoes that's that's okay that's useful funny friend shoes what sure and and shoes uh so that'll be a fucking really exciting video

I'm really looking forward to seeing it shoes shoes there it is I got shoes uh well I wanna I wanna uh Shoes. Shoes. There it is. I got shoes. Well, I want to come at this one here.

I know that some people have said some bad things about True Achievements, but come quats up. You're Synthetic Mortal, and you're proud to be part of True Achievements. Isn't that correct? Yes. Yes, I am. That's great. Hi. Hello. Hi. Yes, I am. That's great. Hi. Hello. Hi.

I am SyntheticMortal. All I have to say is well done, guys and gals of TA. Thanks. After this interesting week for the site, it makes me proud to see dozens of new threads being posted with people trying to retrieve data.

That's how the internet works. Okay. While others are frantically rushing around posting solutions and reviews. Keep it up. And once the site is back up and running as normal, we can all know that it was us, the fans, that helped it build it back up.

Okay. Oh, RIP trueachievements.com. We missed you. Well, to that end, we're going to go to the thread entitled, this is the actual title of the thread, Describe the Hell that was your life when Two Achievements was down.

I'll start out. My name's Counter Insurg... Counter Insurgent? Insurgnut. Counter Insurgnut. I love that candy bar. My gaming life sucked for the week or so. True Achievements was down.

I had to Google achievement guides and such. It really sucked. Losing True Achievements for just a short time proves just how much I needed it. Lol. It is funny because, yeah. Losing true achievements for just a short time Proves just how much I needed it LOL It is funny cause yeah Bunnybread you're Chad and Jesse I'm both I'm two bros at once

Yeah Hey I'm Chad And I'm Jesse And to combine we got 324 Like 027 Cheemas I tried to play And to combine, we got 324, like, oh, 27 Chivas! Sweet.

I tried to play Delittle, but my heart wasn't in it. I couldn't go look up the ratio, solution, or brag about what I'd just done. I was lost. I killed myself. Fuck it. In memoriam for Jen. Taken from us too soon. I'm unknown avatar.

The hell my life was when TA was taken down is nearly undescribable. Oh, it's undescribable. But I shall do my best. What I'm about to say is quite graphic. Oh no. Oh my god!

So if there are any small children around, please send them away. Reading over my shoulder. Exactly. And if you're squeamish, then cover your eyes. Okay. I had to use guides on x Xbox360achievements.org. Oh! That must be like the evil site.

Yeah, you had to use a website to do this stupid shit. No, I had to use a different website than this one. Oh, a different stupid shit website shit. Yeah. Oh, shit. Come quess up your devious apple. Uh. First page there, devious apple. First page there. Devious apple.

Way down. Got a stealer's thing. What is it called? Avatar. It's in the doc, too. Oh, yeah. I guess you could do that. Oh. Hello.

My name is deviousApple. I didn't game as much because it wasn't enjoyable without TA. I didn't even know what game to play because I didn't know what achievements I needed to get. Once things are back in order, I'll be sending another donation to show how much I appreciate the site and all the work that goes into it.

I only have 89,000 gamer points. Oh my god. Fuck you! Oh my god. Fuck you! You're so human. I don't give a shit about you. Oh my god. Let me piss on your forehead here. Hold still. My name's Stoney McCronic! Wow.

You have the world's greatest gamer name. Yeah! Stoney McCronic! I think these are actually Xbox like, Xbox usernames. How did you get away with that? Anyway. You'd be amazed. I guess nobody really cares.

Okay. Oh, sorry. $145,080, by the way. Whoa. Okay. All right. If you went to the market one day to get supplies only to get there to see that it

had burned to the ground the previous night, would you feel at a loss? Instead of that convenient local market that had everything you needed and then you had to go to three separate markets to get the same items. Would you

be disappointed at the extra time it would take? No. Wait, my hypothetical isn't done. My hypothetical is not done yet. Here you go. Then when that local market was rebuilt, would you not get excited that it was back and take part of the grand reopening?

Where do I give you money? Chivos is just like nutrition. That's how I feel about the situation, and it is why I am extremely glad the site is up and running again. It's not that we couldn't live without it, or that our lives were hell, even though it said in the thread that they were. Those are just exaggerations that we are making to further get our point across how much this site was missed.

Stony McCronic! I've never heard of exaggeration before. Thank you. Boots on that same page. Negative ZZ. I was forced to play Halo Reach for like five days. Oh my god, you played a video game?

I was forced to! Oh! So sad! Before I got annoyed with my Wi-Fi connection dropping, and thus, lossing commutation progress. Oh no. Yeah, you lost commutation.

If I continue to play offline, and just sat around, I almost had an honest-to-God panic attack when the site went down. I messaged T-O-O Taco Bob on XBL. It's going to be pretty tough to beat that game. Stony Necrotic, you had your moment in the sun, but T-O-O Taco Bob. Yeah. Jesus. See, if he knew why the site couldn't be found in the first few days of it

being down before that helpful page went up, message me if you know anywhere I can get limited edition faceplates. Limited edition? Limited edition?

Hey, hey, hey, my name's Defrosted J. Hey, Defrosted J! I have 174,000 points. Yeah! My laptop was suddenly a huge paperweight. Oh. That's the only thing it was used for? Good to have the site back.

It's a shame how much was lost. Ah, well, fresh start. Then I can't wait for my profile on here to be updated. It's only gotten me up to the week I say since Screed came out. Let me show you around the apartment. This is my Xbox. It's what I use to get Chivos. This is my laptop.

It's what I use to research how to get Chivos on the Xbox. And this is my bed that we'll be fucking on. On account of my Chivos. Between Chivos. I call them chivo bricks. I don't really call it sleep anymore. I call it not chivo-ing. Unchivo time.

Sometimes I get chivos. There it is. Okay. A little bit more here, just a little bit more. This thread is for classy gamers only. Who? Will?

You mean B-Boy 360? No, no, no, that wasn't me. Threads is for classy gamers only. My name is Aerodynamo. I am curious to the exact quantity of fellow gentlemen, I don't know why, I'm assuming males are mostly here, but whatever, around this vicinity that do similarly dress in the fanciest, classiest, and most proper manner, that is, the adorning of a suit.

Do wear pants. The adorning of a suit. Adorning. Put things on your suit. Fucking terrible writing. Dress shoes and the appropriately styled hat. I'm going to guess that there's a fedora. Is that the appropriately styled hat?

Got to go out on a limb here. By all means, feel free to create a hyperlink to your avatar. Cheers, old boys! Oh, he's just talking about the fucking avatars. And here is mine. It's wearing a tuxedo, got an eye patch. Anyway, Bunny Bread. Zach Cooper, FBI.

Oh, one moment. Zach Cooper. It's Zach with an H. Zach Cooper, FBI. Oh, that sounds like a gentleman. Good evening. I am Zach Cooper of the FBI. You may have heard of me.

I don't give a shit about you. You don't even have any gamer score. I was just going to say, my gamer score is a nipple. All right. You've turned your privacy settings on? For shame. A gentleman never tells. True class is not about an expensive suit or a funny hat.

It is about a state of mind. A way of presenting oneself and the decisions such a person makes. Simply put, class based on clothing is snobbish, small minded, and in many ways the opposite of what being classy represents. Also, I couldn't afford a fedora. Says the slum grub, which is a word, clothes double equals class.

Proven fact. Oh, sir. Oh, you've thrown down a gauntlet today, have you not? I have! Oh, gentlemen, I am Marty Dice. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I shall not have him say and get in the last word here.

As a Cooper FBI, I say to you, you're just like Saturday morning, filled with sugary breakfast cereal and cartoons. Wait, no. No class, that's what I meant to say. Yes. Just like Saturday. Oh, oh. Yeah, Saturday morning, there's no class on Saturday morning.

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I'm Morty Dice. He's not entirely wrong. However, since your avatar is like a virtual representation of your inner self, picturing with classy... Picturing it with classy clothes

means you're classy on the inside. You swallowed your monocle, didn't you? Hey, hey, hey, Zack Cooper, FBI? Mm-hmm? Can you read this thing which you said on the second page of this thread, which is amazing? Indeed, sir. Of course. Nitpicking on someone's typo is both petty and shallow.

Clicking on someone's typo is both petty and shallow. It is less of an argument for class and more of a personal attack, which clearly screams your insecurities, much like a rat fleeing a sinking ship. Also, I fucked your mother. Good lord. My name is Adder Magus. This thread slash leaderboard should be renamed to James

Bond Cosplayers Only. Okay. What? Excelsior idea! We shall do so at once! Done. I know that we said that we were

leaving We were leaving B-Boy 360 forever. And we're not going to read the words of B-Boy 360. Instead, we're going to read Duminator X6's ruminations on B-Boy 360. I'm pretty sure we're still readinguminations on B-Boy360. So, I'm pretty sure

we're still reading the words of B-Boy360. Alright. I would love it if you would name yourself RuminatorX6. Ruminator. Come Quest Up, if you'll take this blog post, please. Hello. I'm DuminatorX6.

You're dangerous. Hey, Dumi. Dumi! Yeah. Yeah. I would like to address this point. B-Boy 360's logic has holes. Okay.

I've talked about B-Boy 360 before. His theory of using Chivos to pick up chicks is flawless. Yeah. Is certainly a unique concept. That's interesting. And it has worked in the past for myself. But it's not without its issues.

Oh, okay. Issues? I wonder, what the hell are the issues? What could the issues possibly be? Oh, I think it's everything that was in between the quote marks. Yeah. For example, let's say you're at a club with a nice lady, and some jackass comes to you.

Don't go to clubs with nice ladies. Yeah, you don't know what a club is to you, or a nice lady. And some jackass comes up to you and starts blabbing about his chivos. This happens to me every time I go out to the club. Okay, sure, that happens, right? Now let's say you know who this jackass is, and he doesn't have many chivos. Oh, damn. What are you gonna do? Despite the fact

that he's claiming he does. Hey, he's cheating, man. That's not fucking acceptable. What can we possibly do? I thought, I mean, I didn't know what to do in this event, but B-Boy360's dating advice told me to use my phone. He's just

blowing it out his ass at this point. Okay. Here's where I find a problem with Professor 360's thinking. What's that? The aforementioned jackass pulls out his phone to show off his chivos to your lady friend. But here's the kicker. The gamer tag he shows, it's not his.

What? Oh. Oh no! Oh no, what do you do? What do you do? It's just some dude's tag he randomly found on the internet. That he conveniently saved into his phone's favorites. In case he encounters girls that he needs to show his gamerscores to.

Oh, motherfucker! Stealing video games! I can't believe he would do that! What if it's like a Cyrano de Bergerac situation where he's a guy that doesn't have as many gamer points, but he's really good with his words, but then there's the other guy that has

all the gamer points. Okay, she's on the hook. Call her a faggot and a nigger and a noob. You know he's bullshitting, but there's really nothing you can do about it. Or worse. Let's say you don't know who this guy is.

You can't tell if he's telling the truth about his chivos or not. those or not. It's not like someone can pull out a copy of Monster Madness out of the dance floor and someone says first one to 970 this game will get laid in an event like this.

Why can't they do that? I want that to happen so much. That sounds ridiculous. Everything else at the coolest point would have definitely happened. Break into electric chivalro. Also starring Ice-T.

He'll take anything. He's the Eugene Levy of Rath. Ice-T's really into Call of Duty. But I totally have an advantage there. Okay. I don't know what I meant by that. Yeah, that's it. It ends.

He's going to keep it to himself. My point is, if you're going to use Chivos to pick up chicks, you certainly need more concrete proof that you are who you are. Yeah, that's the only thing you need if you're going to use Chivos to pick up chicks. That's pretty much it. You don't need more of it. Was the guy that stole my woman last weekend really Stallion 83? I certainly think not.

All right. I'm Muttlud. Muttlud. Muttlud. I don't believe I could pick up chicks using my gamer score. Based on your or B-Boy360's theory, my E-Pen

would be decent enough to get laid, but I don't believe it. Maybe because chicks here are too Latin? That's it. Maybe because chicks here are too Latin. That's it. Yeah. I have all these problems conjugating my verbs. Too Latin.

Too Latin, yeah. Maybe because they know better. Maybe because the nerdy trend is still up and running in small town like mine. So, M, I'm thinking about moving in the next few years. And, well, where the fuck do you live? I'm coming to your door. Gonna shove my chivos into you Oh, so many Oh, this is the last post by DoominatorX is pretty good

Bunnybrat, take it Trust me, my man Last comment Trust me, my man. Last comment. Yep. Trust me, my man. I laughed at 360 before. Just the number. It's funny.

I thought he was a delusional idiot spouting nonsense. But just out of curiosity, I took his advice and applied it in reality. It really fucking works. I mean, shit, you have no idea. Yeah. Like they say, don't knock something until you try it. fucking works. I mean, shit, you have no idea. Yeah, like they say, don't knock something until you try it.

So, this has been DuminatorX6 bullshitting once more. Alright, I think, I think we're gonna have to close

with this one. Boots, what do you know about the video game publishing company THQ? They've gone under? There we go! That's exactly what I was

looking for. So THQ has gone under, and that means that Darksiders has an achievement that is unattainable. What? Oh my god. So your name's Fae Moon, and you want to just tell us about

something that's your post is entitled The Power of the Achievement Hunters Community. Hi there. I'm going to tell you about the power of Achievement Hunters Community. That's the power of. Yeah.

I'm Faye Moon. I have 179,453 thousand chivos. Sounds pretty serious. Hello, everyone. As an achievement hunter, I really care about my completion percentage on single

game level. It means that if I play a game, I will definitely want to unlock 100% of achievements as you do probably. But the problem appears when it becomes impossible because of one glitches,

two servers closing policy, three technical issues, and four etc. Oh etc. That's held me back in life. Yeah. Achievement not unlocked because of reason, etc.

Oh, wait, no. Because of reason, the servers have a policy of closing. Or they're closing their policy. Either way. Yeah. Maybe I'm wrong because I'm an event-blind man, but I think that most of TA events are internal,

limited only to sources provided by this service. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but if I remember, only one event focused on unlocking unobtainable achievement when the power of Hunter's community was a reason to turn on previously closed server EA? Or to involve developers and moderators from

the game studio to let us unlock again some viral achievements unreachable for a long time. Those were just noises. That entire paragraph. Honks and squeaks. Yeah, I heard a dolphin pretty much.

Well, I heard a dolphin pretty much. Why thank you, too. I need your help specifically with server issues with Darksiders 2. I bought the game two months ago, but knowing about THQ bankruptcy, I checked the whole internet to find out something about possible and obtainable achievement. The whole thing? Yeah. I took thing! Yeah. That took a long time. Jesus Christ.

Everything was fine. People were able to unlock all online achievements. Okay. But one day a problem has occurred. And from that moment, Nordic Games is ignoring us. What the fuck? They swore they would always pay attention to this website. Oh no.

A really simple online achievement give any item to your friend cannot be unlocked because they don't know how to run the server again. They don't know how? There's an on button and an off button and I don't know how to read on so shit.

Actually this game has two unobtainable achievements. Oh, no! Because there's also a last one awarded for unlocking all other achievements. So the whole thing is like, the whole thing is like that you're talking about is like, oh, I got, you know, bragging rights. It's all about

bragging rights. So your bragging rights are, yeah, I just got an achievement for click on man. Yeah, but I can't get that click on man achievement. Yeah, but nobody else is getting the click on man achievement. Oh.

Never mind. This is terrible. Anyway. What are you asking for? What are you asking? I am asking the whole community to support by forcing developer to provide a solution and give us unlock 100% of achievements, not only in this game, but also in many others where they forgot who paid for the game and who let them fill their wallets by money. That's an achievement. You gave us money. You paid for this shit.

Let them fill their wallets by money! Yep, wallets. That's what we also go fill their wallets by. Anyway, it's hard to agree with the policy of silence and ignorance. As long as they only see 10 to 20 people complaining,

they probably have more important tasks. But a community of achievement hunters cannot be ignored. Yeah, no, they super easily can be. Because your demand is, don't be out of business anymore. Be a company again. We go back in time. Yeah, how do you think we fill my wallets by?

Anyway, please allow me to know what? Please also let me know what do you think of such actions? Is there any chance to influence developers somehow? Oh, I know, I know.

We're going to boycott them now that they're out of business. Yeah. I'm not buying any more games you fucking make. Not a one. Well, what do you think we learned from all of this? What do you think we learned? That Chivos is now a really solid part of my lexicon. Yeah.

Sure! I'm going to be slipping that into all sorts of sentences. I loved it every time. I remember when I first got my Xbox, and there would be those little pop-ups that would happen. You know, you're playing whatever game, and then it would be like, blink! And then, like, tell you a thing.

And I kept thinking, like, why are you doing that? Who the hell cares? And they were huge, and they took up most of the screen. And then I found the Switch that turns that off, and, like, everything's been pretty great but like but like but but how like how else are you going to get like you know like seven year old internet meme references uh popping up in the middle of your game every time you know you yeah i was like oh all my base i Yeah, yeah, totally. Thanks every video game achievement.

It's a weird thing because, like, I wouldn't... Because I know that, for example, I know that Xbox actually has, like, policies where, like, if you have... Because most of this, like, it seems like most of this is Xbox. Yeah. And I know that they have policies of, like, if you're a retail game, like a box game, you have to have, like, X number of gamer score, like, in. So, like, they force publishers to, like, throw these achievements on there. And most of them don't care. Which is where the whole thing falls apart.

Because, like, you know, if it's some sort of, like, bullet hell thing where, like, it's all these, like, crazy games and they've got to score then i guess i mean that's something to work for but these numbers are completely fucking arbitrary because in a lot of cases like these publishers are just doing it because they're forced to so they're just like oh yeah you beat level four have 400 points i don't fucking give a shit right like the yeah the the the. The reward for playing through a visual novel is the same as playing through Ikaruga. The whole thing is just meaningless. Don't you wish that novels

would just give achievements? You hit plot twist. Bling! Oh my god, it's insane This Episode Was brought to you by Montreth As well as the rest of us Thanks Montreth

Montreth put this document together Yeah sort of a fish in a barrel sort of situation But definitely Some fine mining there You should totally watch the Charlie Brooker Black Mirror episode. I think it's season two,

episode two, which is basically about the life, like, the science fiction future that would happen if these people ran the world. And you should also definitely go look at B-Boy 360's picture that he put on his... Yeah, have a dual monitor set up.

So watch the Charlie Berger thing on the one monitor. And then watch B-Boy 360's breakdancing on the other one. Just keep them both running in a loop nonstop forever. Yeah, just Photoshop B-Boy 360's face onto things. That's what we got. Have fun. Bye-bye. Ball pit.

Ball pit. Bye. I thought of a joke similar to Kumquat's, but I couldn't decide whether it should be Chivos Rancheros or Huevos Ranchivos. Huevos Ranchivos. Easily. Yeah. Totally. Okay.