The F Plus - 133: Coldmouth Strikes Again

Episode Date: April 12, 2014

Alright now fellas, what's cooler than being cool? These tongues! We're spending some time on IceChewing.com. As the name would imply, it's a place on the internet for persons who chew on ice to talk to other people with the same fascination, learn about the reasons that they share their passion, then ignore medical advice and go back to their ice chewing. This week, The F Plus wants to talk to you about the company refrigerators.

Well, I've got a three-minute sequence of Rodney Mullen's feet to look at before we start. That's a reference for nobody. Okay. Good. Well, enjoy that. Boots, ring, gear, I guess. Nicely done. All right.

I'm gonna tell you how it's gonna be. You got iron deficiency. Low MCH and MCV. Tiniest cells you ever did see. What you might get on top of all this is thromb thromba, thromba, thromba, my cytosis. Thromba, thromba, thromba. Welcome to the F+, the podcast for terrible things, right with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear.

I can't go to sleep without eating six trays of ice every night, no joke. AC Rockawaddle. I love the smell of a defrosting freezer. I can smell it even when the door is closed. Yes, Fahan. I printed a copy of this thread and left it on the printer. The ice chewer either didn't see it or didn't care. Your favorite friend

on Twitter, Adam Bozarth. I flirt with the waiter at a restaurant just to get a huge to-go cup of ice. Holy shit. And lemon. I have dreams that my teeth are gonna fall out from chewing ice and I still don't stop eating it. I'm gonna tell you how it's going to be.

I'm going to send you for an endoscopy. Send you for an endoscopy. Send you for an endoscopy. Maybe to gynecology. Hey, F+. Hi, Lemon. How are you guys doing? Are you feeling refreshed?

You know, it's still cold, but it's important to keep hydrated. It is, yes. Hydration is very important. That's not very difficult. There's all this snow outside. Sure, sure. So what do you guys, what's your favorite ice to chew? That ice that comes in the single serve tray

Okay, I am so disappointed in you Like all That you didn't immediately have A response of the exact kind of ice That you like to chew There's so many different types of ice out there How can I pick one? Look, there's factions

Like a brown ice, I guess Pimoleon pink ice Comes with the salt there? How can I pick one? Look, there's factions. Like a brown ice, I guess. Himalayan pink ice comes with the salt. So on a first time submission from a listener named Caroline, we are going to icechewing.com that is the Ice Chewers Bulletin Board, all about chewing ice.

A place to share about ice chewing. So we can finally pick the right ice to chew? Is there not enough to do? So, this is a community about something. I forget exactly what

draws these people together. They have some sort of common interest. But there are far more posts than you would imagine on this forum, and it covers a surprising kind of range of topics that you would expect from here. So let's get this thing started out. Isfahan, your name is Mr. Freeze 2008. And this is a post that you wrote in September 15th of 2011.

Oh, a question for the ages, I guess. Yeah. My ice train wreck. It's in quotes. Ah. Hi, guys. Hi. My name is Dougie.

I'm 20 years old from Wisconsin. Go Badgers, lol. That's a good reason to laugh out loud right there. La, la, la, la, ha, ha, ha right there. La la la la ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. As I was studying in UW Madison doing a major in Arctic Studies, Jesus.

His ice chewing obsession is dictating his academics. I one day dream of going to North Pole and just chewing on glaciers. Man, think of all that ice that's up there. Oh my god. Imagine how depressed this guy gets when he thinks

about global warming. Oh no. Anyway. I got weird urges to start looking further into ice colon S. Stroke face. I'm so glad I found this website for people like me with

ice related problems I got ice related solutions I'm not so much of a chewer more of an admirer of those who chew in other words I love the sound of someone chewing ice near me sometimes I stick a bit of paper

in a fan to recreate the sound of someone's teeth quickly crushing down on soft ice. I feel comfortable here that no one will be judgmental, and maybe I could get some contacts who would be big ice crunchers, not in a sexual way. I don't have Skype.

That's the lack of Skype. The lack of Skype is proof that it's not in a sexual way wait have we been if we've been doing like a sexual thing on skype for the last five years has this podcast been looking for other straight dudes to read internet with yeah no gay stuff girlfriends out i just want to read stuff on Skype You know, it's not gay or anything Yeah, yeah It's not gay until the vowels collide Just wondering about dildos with other dudes

Yeah It's not in a sexual way But in a way that I could maybe Console you mentally Why do you assume I need to be consoled? Well, you're here Now I guess for the emotional part of my story. Alright.

When I was 19 in my freshman year of UW, I had a girlfriend. She was my high school sweetheart. I guess you could say lol, but this guy doesn't have any periods. But we sort of had a change of interest when I started getting involved in my fixation with hearing people chew ice. I tried to get her involved as she was my girlfriend, but she complained that it hurt her teeth. And she was like, come on, baby, chew the ice. Just chew the ice. I don't know.

Put this trash bag on. And she preferred sucking the ice. I don't know why, but this really caused a lot of conflict in our relationship. I don't know why either. I know why. D of conflict in our relationship. I don't know why either. I know why. Dirty ice sucker. Those are those factions you were mentioning, I guess. I started seeing her differently.

To me, she was no longer that blonde-haired girl from Georgia State High, but she was bitter, un-understanding, vision of distrust. I spoke to a number of counselors about these problems, and they think I was seeing her differently as she had just grown up from how we used to be we had been growing out since we were 17 a young and innocent ice crunching teenager

well that was before they discovered ice crunching two years of eternity together so for this guy the turning point was learning that she liked to suck ice rather than chew on it. And the counselor said, well, maybe it's just that you sort of grew apart. Maybe, but I'm pretty sure it's the way that we both manipulate ice with our mouths.

He leans into the counselor. He's like, no, get this. She sucks on ice instead of chews it. And then he spins a finger by the side of his head. Cuckoo! Yeah. We all know the sound

of crunching ice is the greatest sound in the world. Maybe this was true, and I ignored the ice thing for a few months, but last month I took it too far. I don't remember doing it, but on Christmas Eve, I apparently crept into her dorm room while she... So now he's having blackouts?

I apparently crept into her dorm room while she was sleeping and poured two large bags of Walmart brand ice onto her... Oh, come on. She woke up screaming and some jock from next door kicked me out of their building. She hasn't spoke to me since. How did that plan work out in your mind?

Like, you had this nocturnal fantasy that you dump a bunch of ice on her sleeping body and then she goes, It's the ice chewer version of the severed horse in the bed. I guess I have to eat myself out of this.

Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. Coming soon to Amazon. Oh, that's so hot. Well, ice falling is the crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. Coming soon to Amazon. Oh, that's so hot. Well, ice falling is the same as ice crunching, so... I guess. I need help, guys. I can't talk to girls unless they got a mouthful of that sweet, solidified H2O. Thanks, Dougie XO.

Or Dougie XO. Bump. And then you post it again 15 minutes later. Yeah, bump. 15 minutes! Oh my god, somebody answer! This ice is melting, hurry up! And then Boots, if the ice is right...

He got in there the minute after he bumped, too. I chew ice on cam. Hit me up. Ah! OMG, I thought nobody was on here, lol. Yes. Do oo-oo Skype, because we can't... In that 15 minutes, he installed it.

It's about to get sexual now. Because we can't use that in campus. We have Windows Live only, but when I get my cam from my cousin's house, we should totally do that. Do-oo-choo. Thanks, Dougie. So... Whoa! I chew ice on cam.

Do-oo-choo. It really is, like, it feels so much like code for sexual things. Yeah, I like that he was like, oh, just looking for a friend, just somebody to talk about ice chewing with. It's not going to get weird. Oh, I don't chew ice. Oh, that's awesome.

We should fucking video-chape ourselves chewing ice together in a room. Now, we're sure that they don't mean, and they're not extending the metaphor of frozen water to methamphetamine, right? That they're not just talking about chewing ice. Yeah, no, it seems like an improper use of methamphetamine,

if there is such a thing. I'm not much of a chemist, I admit. I'm not the best chemist out there, but I think there's more to methamphetamine than H2O. No, it's mostly water and rat poison. It's just trade secret. You're trying to keep the skill set obscure.

You know, you've got to understand that. Well, no, I know the difference between real ice and meth ice. Aww. Alright, so that was a bit of ice-chewing lust. Adam, if you'll give us an ice-chewing love story, please. Oh, a love story? We need, like, some violent background here or something.

Violent background? Just based on that very small exchange, we can already tell that this form attracts people who like ice in different ways. Obviously

there are some people who maybe just like chewing ice and other people who like chewing ice. Also, a lot of people with very low post counts on this. Yeah. Mr. Freeze has five posts, and If the Ice is Right has two. Mr. Motenjo has one. Yeah, this is Mr. Motenjo's only post entitled, A Love Story. I hope it's worth it.

It was maybe a year and a half ago now. I was sitting in a pub and chatting with a girl I liked for over five... I was sitting and chatting with a girl that I liked for over seven years. That's a long chat. Holy fuck.

Uh-huh. What did your brother say then? Okay, so if my math is right, we are now five and a half years into the future from today. Yes. Yes. Well, actually, that works out because that post was written about six years ago. Okay. So this is happening right now?

Pretty much. Holy shit. I was sitting and chatting with a girl that I liked for over seven years, one that I haven't met in quite some time until then. At first, I was absolutely thrilled. We were practically alone in our little corner. She was telling me about her past, filled loves, and I was quietly sipping my icy pina colada, absorbing her every word in a hallucinating stupor induced by her presence.

It's a weird choice as a ice chewer, a pina colada. Because it's blended, so it's kind of like the ice has already been chewed before you drink it. Yeah, I'm eating raw ice. Raw food ice. Well, some people like big ice pieces and some people like little ones, I guess. Fair enough, fair enough. I don't want to judge.

Yeah. However, as time passed, I was somehow more and more convinced that she was not actually interested in me, but needed someone to open her heart to and share her burden. Something like a friend. Yeah. I was interested in getting down.

I wanted to get down with her. I slowly started to lose hope and to drift away, expecting that we soon part our ways with a casual goodbye. As I drank the last of my cocktail, I absentmindedly commented on how I sometimes like eating ice, not afraid that I'd look weird in her eyes. After all, I thought I had no chance with her anyways. There is no fucking way you managed to segue that. You interrupted her to say that. Wait, hang on. I bet this story probably gets

more believable from here. I popped an ice cube into my mouth and waited for it to melt when she told me she'd like to try and taste the ice, too. I looked confused at my empty glass, and she told

me, no, I want the one you have. Wait, when did it turn from a pina colada to a scotch on the rocks? It was a pina colada on the rocks. That is the ultimate ice chewer's drink.

Give me rocks on the rocks. Then something happens, something I could only think of as magic at that moment. I let her have the ice cube, and that was our first kiss. That's my story! What's your... The Lady and the Tramp 2. What's your signature, Mr. Motenju My signature is

Chew ice, kiss It's fitting that's the only post It's true Now in the interest of fairness He didn't say this was a true story This was just a story But he registered on November 3rd 2007, he didn't post this until

over a year later. He was trying to craft those words. 13 months later. Well, I got a story for you. My name is Megan Mayhem. Oh, that happened to me as well. I dated a guy for a while and the first time he came over to the house

I found out he ate ice and we shared a whole mug through our mouths. Embarrassed face, maybe? Those are romantic stories! I like to share my ice too! The Iceman! And his sentence doesn't end. There's a comma on the end.

Gonzo 6110. Thanks, Gonzo6110. He never turns caps lock off. Even his username is all caps. Okay, so this thread is titled My Sick Story, Lul. It's by Ice Baby, and it's decent decent but we've got better stuff to read so I just wanted to take us through the opening post

which just ends oh my god I feel like I'm in AA oh yeah and by the way I hate watching movies which involve any snow or skiing or whatever because I find myself shouting at the screen for the actors to take advantage and chew chew chew but then Acier you are straight polka dots,

and you responded to my story there. Arrgh! You think you have it bad? Try living in Texas! It's big and red, where it only snows like... What's a year? Before we proceed,

you need to think ahead. The way you pronounced Texas was a double font, bold, red. 200% bold red. 200% bold. You need to think what 200% bold cyan is and also 200% italicized purple.

Wow. Anyway, we'll get to that point. Missed the cyan somehow. and also 200% italicized purple. Wow. Huh. Yes. Anyway, we'll get to that point. Miss the cyan somehow. Maybe because it's on the cyan background. And I know snow. I used to live in New York and London.

I know snow, so I can miss it. But I was in class, and there was this picture of someone skiing, and I practically ripped the pages out because the snow was driving me crazy. You got them correct. Thank you. Good. Seriously, I almost lost it. And yeah, I know what you were talking about with the freezer.

Ours was malfunctioning for about a week, and I was so happy. No matter how much ice I took, there was always some the next day. It's pretty much all to look forward to in life, lol. But then my dad had to fix it. Just scraping the ice off the sides of the freezer. Yeah, that's awesome. Man, fuck tray ice, man. And oh, man.

Oh, man. One time my sister caught me eyeing the freezer in a Sam's. Swear to God, the ice was five inches thick. Oh, my God. And she flipped. She flipped? She flipped? She flipped. Did you have a boner or something?

Why did she flip over you looking at a freezer? Probably because she wanted the ice, that bitch. She started masturbating, that's why. Yeah. How embarrassing. I still wanted the ice, though. I still wanted the ice though I think we've addressed at this point

I don't know if we've gotten if you're all confirmed as I am that some of these people might have a problem yeah it's called anemia iron deficiency it's a very common symptom for whatever reason. I think it's stage five brain freeze.

Yeah, you build up an immunity. But brain freeze, wait. Oh, that's like anti-brain freeze. Brain anti-freeze. But, you know, just because they have problems, they can still live in a professional environment, such as Blue Girl 1217 Oh, that's Thorleaf That's me Again, I have one post, I don't know what the fuck

I guess there isn't much to say He's like, well, I chew ice Yeah Okay I work in a professional environment I mean, suit and tie office And due to my loyalty To my ice I work in a professional environment, I mean, suit and tie office, and due to my loyalty to my ice,

I must prepare six large paper Starbucks coffee cups to go around to each floor's ice maker-a that have white ice. I detest clear ice. She's an ice racist. I don't, how does that, any idea? I detest clear ice. She's an ice racist. Icist. I don't... How does that... Any idea?

Yeah, if you have, like, ice with air bubbles in it, it's sort of opaque and white. And if you boil the water first and then let it freeze, it'll be perfectly clear. Yeah, fuck that clear ice, man. You don't want to see through that ice. That is disgusting. That is just fucking gross, man. What a weird... Huh. Yeah, that's clear ice, man. You don't want to see through that ice. That is disgusting. That is just fucking gross, man. What a weird... Huh.

Yeah, that's the weird thing. Well, it's just like the... Boiling water before freezing it is fucking... Okay, yeah, sure. I'll bet that chewing through ice that has a lot of little bubbles in it is actually easier on the teeth. I think it's the taste. It's probably the taste.

Maybe it's some kind of insanity that these people have. I'm not sure that's wrong. Anyway, no, no, no, no. We're going to get to the bottom of this. Yeah, we're going to figure this out. After filling each cups with ice, I run hot water over them, and then the munch session can begin. Oh, yeah.

Stop saying munch. My ice addiction has caused a lot of coworkers to become upset over the lack of ice in the building. The entire building. Due to me clearing out all of the ice makers during business hours. As well as taking a reusable Whole Foods bag and filling it with a clear brand new trash bag I get from the housekeeping staff here

at work and then I go to each and every floor and fill my bag and then stash it in the fridge on the first floor so that I can grab it on the way out in the evening. I've got it bad! By the way, in the evening. I've got it bad! By the way, I'm the Grinch.

Yeah. So this woman is the reason I don't have any ice whenever I visit a hotel. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, statistically, there's just always someone like Blue Gal next to you. Somebody's got to eat an entire trash bag full of ice every day. Wow. I, like, I mean, I don't know, because I know that, you know, like, employment law can be really kind of complicated and shit like that. But if somebody's just going from floor to floor robbing all the freezers...

Yeah, that would... It could have consequences. This is the kind of shit the goblins do. She's taking, like... She finishes up with six liters of ice, at least. And the thing is that she doesn't want the clear ice, so she's getting, like, a whole cup of it, probably picking out all the clear ice and throwing it away.

Right, because floors three and four boil their ice before. That's another thing, though. Is she doing this while she's on the clock? Yes. Apparently. All right. Boots, you are gleaming the ice cube. Just all of these usernames are fucking amazing.

It's pretty good, yeah. Ice to meet you. Nice. I'm gleaming the ice cube. I have four posts. Howdy do, folks. Sorry about the pun.

Better get used to them. Broken something. Long time chewer, first time member. Jesus Christ. Frankly, the internet never fails to surprise and delight me. Well, I agree with you on that. I've been an ice chewer since I was a little boy. And I didn't think about it until my late teens when a friend of the time said he thought

I was a freak for my constant crunching on ice during a movie we went to see. Also rude. Yeah. Hey man, ice crunch is gonna get you. That's not a very good t-shirt. I know, I got a closet full of them. People just

won't buy them at the wharf. No, they'll buy them and then wear it once. A year and a half after they bought it. Fast forward to now, and I discover there's a whole website devoted to it. That's just great, folks. I go by Gleaming the Ice Cube.

I'm gonna explain this. Right? Come on. Good, because I'm a big fan of Christian Slater, and, well, the ice cube pun was simply Too rich to pass up Broken image Please don't hold it against me

Christian Slater? Please don't hold Christian Slater against me He's not a piece of ice Well, greetings and salutations I'm recently divorced after a very short marriage to a wonderful gal. We just couldn't make it work, but we've remained good friends. She's always been very supportive of me, and she always thought it was cute how I was always asking for extra ice at McDonald's.

What a gal! As it turns out, it wasn't enough to build a relationship on. Well, it's like, all right, his singular personality quirk is that he chews ice, and this wasn't the reason that he got divorced. I don't know if this is going to continue, but it seems like every, like, sociosexual relationship that people talk about is always in the confines of ice chewing. Well, yeah, that's how they relate to people, is how people react to their ice chewing. All right, keep going. It was nice of you to join me for your date on OkCupid. I noticed you didn't comment at all about the things I wrote about ice.

No? I put it there for a reason. It's kind of important. Gonna be chewing it all night. Apparently we go to the McDonald's that keeps the drink servers behind the counter. There's plenty of those. Let's see.

I got a cat named, what else? Frosty. And a parrot named Cha-Cha. I'm surprised it wasn't like Icicle or something what else? Ice a dog named Ice goes in my mouth I enjoy rollerblading and romantic boofies

this is your okpupid profile now you're just talking about yourself now. I work in an art store. If this is the only way that people can communicate with each other, you might as well all date each other. Because this is how boring just chewing ice is. There's no entry to it. I like ice. I like chewing ice, too.

Something weird about me? Oh, well. I guess I like to chew ice too much. Three posts and I'm done. I work at an art store to occasionally model. Not that I'm an Adonis or anything. Artists need to hone their skills on flab as much as muscle, I'm afraid. I don't want to do it, but I got it.

Coy, smiley. I guess that's about it. I guess that is. I'd like to eat ice. I was so horrible I couldn't stay married for long. I got a cat and a parrot and a fat.

Now then, can I interest you in this dick? Hope to get you all the better in the coming days and months although I will only post in two other threads at most alright so ACR this is definitely a thread meant for

you and he bumped that thread too it is called I've heard that if you chew ice, that means you're sexually active. Yes. I've heard if you chew ice, that means you're sexually active. I've heard that if you chew ice, that means you're sexually active.

Can someone please tell me if this is true? I don't know whether to believe certain people or not. Any digit one with information on this please post. Yes, I'm addicted to ice and I'm a guy so the sexually active thing is natural, but I'm a virgin. If only there was

a way to verify if there was a correlation between all this ice I'm chewing and all this sex I'm not having. Please tell me if I'm missing out on free sex. Well, let's see. If I chew ice, that means I'm sexually active. I chew ice and I'm not sexually active. I better ask somebody that means I'm sexually active. I chew ice and I'm not sexually active. I better ask somebody else to verify this.

Yeah. Just wanted to point out that we have now gone from the thread of board index personal stories to board index theories. Why? And so this is sort of the opposite end of that thread. Okay. I need a guest. I need to read a guest response to the... Oh, sure.

Sure. By all means. Yeah. I may be sexually frustrated, but I've been chewing ice way before I knew what sex was. So for me, the theory doesn't hold much. Wigged. Even when I'm not sexually frustrated, I still chew ice. Right, because there's times when you aren't?

Yeah. These are literally the stupidest people that you've ever had on this show. These are literally the dumbest people. Wait, how dare you say that about the poster whose name is Love Me, Love My Chewin'. This is another one in the Board Index Theories Why. It's called Sexually Frustrated. Adam, you were going to be Pez, and I have a question for you, which is, I think I chew ice because I'm sexually frustrated.

Does anyone else feel this way? God! It's not only me that can't spill my load, unless I've had some ice. What's your mark, what's your mark, what's your mark? Please, can you give me any tips about maybe slowly getting off ice? It's so frustrating not being able to jack off without it. They need to release an ice patch.

It slowly releases melted ice directly into your system. Ice 2. Oh yeah, some kind of ice gum maybe that you could chew on. And then immediately after that, Oh dude, thanks! You've solved all my problems! I'll try my best! Maybe you'll have to come around here and help me with my problem?

If you know what I mean. My foreskin is at your command. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,, but... No. Pez, you have another thread, or you have another post right under that one? Yeah. My email is sluttymixslutslut at hotslut.slut. Jesus, I can't wait either. Just let's do it right here, right now.

Sex. And those are all drool-like odds. Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool. I'm very happy. Those are all three of Pez's posts right there. Well, that's because, as Angeline points out, Pez has been ice-blocked. Aww.

It's nice that a board can have functions It's own functions like that Isfahan Back into personal stories And you're having a problem Maybe we can help you with that Yeah, here's my problem What's that? I can't chew ice

My name is, I assume, Koenig de Roltrep. That'll do. Hello, everybody. I write this because I just can't chew any ice. My teeth try to kill me whenever I try! So, can anyoni give me any advice?

I thought about wrapping my teeth in little cloths or something. Thanks. J? Turn your teeth into mummies. And I will now disappear forever. Since this was his only post, I assumed he was banned for this. Well, no. His teeth killed him.

I was like, Not chewing ice. Get out of here. I saw what you wrote. Somebody went to JustAnswer.com and asked the question for him to get a reply from an actual dentist. Oh, well that doesn't sound helpful. Maybe stop doing that?

I don't know. Knock it off, dummy It read like It read like somebody from justanswer.com Copied something from wikipedia.com Yeah Okay, Acier Which thing would you like to talk about?

Your overdeveloped jaw Or the other effects of the body Oh, shit See, if Jack Chick was here I'd have him do the overdeveloped jaw So, yeah, I'll do the other effects of the body. Oh, shit. See, if Jack Chick was here, I'd have him do the overdeveloped job. So, yeah, I'll do the other one. The other effects of the body. All right. You are a guest.

This forum, unlike Ball Pit, allows guest posting. Nice plug, by the way. Fit him in where I can. We're taking out the bumpers. So I got to try to be streamlined with this shit by the way that URL is B-A-L-L-P dot I-T

I think I'll go check that out right now where hard-ons collide tell us what you're chewing now I am an ice eater I started about three months ago and now I go through about five bags a week at home who knows how many cups at work each day?

Okay. My question is, does chewing and eating so much ice each day have any effect on your throat, esophagus, stomach, etc.? Esphagus. Esphagus. You're right. Damn it. That was so badly typed and tricked me. Fucking esphagus.

The cold cannot be good for the tissues in these organs. I just wonder what damage we could be doing to our insides. I mean, the cold can be fine, but, like, because obviously, like, if you're shooting ice, like, is it going to cause internal damage to your organs? Well, no, but then all of a sudden you remember that somebody's fucking taking garbage bags of ice out of an office building. It's like, well, all right, in that volume, yeah, sure.

They haven't died, apparently. They haven't gotten fired either, which is worse. Well, you don't know. These people have such low post counts, I imagine all of them die after they post. That must be it. They just end up like Jack Torrance. Nice one. Isfahan, you are

I started chewing... I'm sorry, your name is Helpless Ice Chewer. Helpless Ice Chewer. I started chewing ice voraciously and obsessively within the last year. My teeth are literally crumbling as a result, but I still can't stop. Alright, well,

maybe you'll find your rock bottom someday. Adam, July 4th, baby? Probably a lot of ice in July 4th parties. Sometimes there's a whole bathtub filled with ice. That's great. I love ice. This guy thinks it's July 4th, baby. Just imagine.

So July 4th, baby, is imagine! So July 4th baby is there at the July 4th party and, like, you know, digging around. Somebody's like, oh, you looking for a beer in there? No! No!

I'm looking for white ice cubes. I have a terrible addiction to ice. People would tell me that eating ice was bad for me. I wouldn't listen. I thought, oh, come on. It's frozen water. So I kept eating my ice.

Turns out I am anemic and my disease spells and weakness and tired all the time. Proved that in my unusual eating ice habit. I finally went to doctor and I have a very, very low iron count. I have anemia and I now have to take pills to make me better and not to mention the dental bills. My teeth are wrecked. I almost swallowed a filling. I thought I was a piece of ice. No, no, no.

No. You did not swallow that filling. My teeth are wrecked. I almost swallowed a filling. I thought it was a piece of ice. It was my whole filling that came out. So please, all my fellow ice eaters, please get your blood checked and stop eating so much of it. And your teeth will thank you, too.

But wait, then you won't be a posse anymore. And just for the folks listening, both that post and the post I read were in all caps. the folks listening, both that post and the post I read, were in all caps. I like to think that July 4th, baby, his mouth is so cold that he feels that maybe if he yells a lot, he gets really excited when he talks

and his mouth will warm up faster. Hey! I think his fingers are so frozen that he has to type harder. To all my fellow ice eaters, don't chew ice. Hey. Hey guys.

I'm SweetTea72. Oh, Sweetie T, what's up? Yeah, July 4th, baby. Oh my god, I'm glad you didn't swolled it. Alright, well. Not sure if you're making fun of her or what. And I know you should be sucking on the ice.

Just put it on your tongue and let it melt. It's the same effect. I'm doing that now. I have stopped biting on ice a long, long time ago because I messed up my teeth toe. Oh, my God, the transformation happens again. I was just about to say that. Oh, my God, I'm turning into you.

When you bite the ice, you start to ice me like me. You're an ice zombie. T-72 is 51 posts. That's a record. That's really good. Yeah. That's because he figured out that you don't chew the ice, you're just supposed to melt it. Everyone else

is dead. Right, yeah. He lived from chewing on ice. Boots? Yes. What's going on? Oh, what's going on? I noticed you called me Boots there. Oh, yeah, I did.

Totally wrong. My name is Nicky Lagrange. You sound classy. He's the lead singer of a ZZ Tap cover band. Yeah. It's true. Or an Anne Rice character.

Yeah, I've got legs and I'm a vampire. Who's also in a ZZ Top cover band. All right, that's on you. Hello, everyone. I'm only 22 and have some serious health issues like obesity I chew on ice over 20 times per day I'm addicted

and I'm worried because I don't know if it's water weight or what but the weight keeps going up I want to stop chewing on the ice because I don't know if some of the health issues are related to it or not. But I don't want to take any chances. So in order to help me stop, please tell me all the bad things about chewing ice. Oh, so you want like one of those car crash videos for your public interest?

Yes. Scare me straight. The frozen mouth. Glazed asphalt. I keep chewing. I keep eating all this ice, and it's making me fat. Yeah. Excuse me.

I'm going to eat a whole party sub. I keep wondering. It's like there's all these people, and they've got all these medical problems. They should make an expert who's good at medical things, and you could go see them, and they would give you medical advice. Again, you're Canadian. You fucking don't understand how it is down here. Yeah, what do you got, money? Do we have money for that?

Yeah, exactly. I keep buying ice. I would suggest frozen vegetables. They're like ice, but they have things in them. Are they white? No. Cauliflower is. Potatoes?

Yeah, eat frozen cauliflower. Are they cubed? Can I get white cauliflower cubes frozen? Adam, are you writing this down? Yes, okay. What else would you guys like? Look, I want to give you some advice. My name's Jazeer Man.

Well, I can tell you that it will definitely mess your teeth, and since you are only 22, it's, um, you really don't want to happen. Check out the price of root canals or worse, dentures! First, I would go have a blood test. I had an overwhelming desire to chew ice for six months. I couldn't leave the house without a couple of Ziploc bags. And I would chew all

day, even while I was on the phone doing business. I just couldn't stop. When I mentioned, this is going to be like a preacher. When I mentioned to my doctor, he immediately said it was pica caused by an iron deficiency. Ding. When my

blood work came back, I had like... This is an iron deficiency for him. Yeah, but that color scheme would be kind of fucked up. It would be all brown and red. Now that you say that it's pika, then there's got to be cat litter chewing.com.

There is. People who eat drywall. Drywall.com. Actually, yeah, Cheapskate gave us an entire Pika document. If you want the F plus equivalent of my strange addiction, let us know

on THEFBL.US. Vlog. F plus equivalent of my strange addiction. Let us know on the FPL. Yes. When my blood work came back, I had like no iron. My doctor said my doctor was afraid I was bleeding somewhere internally and immediately ordered a colonoscopy. Ouch.

Luckily, immediately, immediately did it. Turn over. Turn over. turn over! Surprise, colonoscopy. I'm having a moment to lose. I didn't even take my pants off.

Ow. We do this before the intake. Luckily, it really wasn't such a horrible procedure. Okay. My colon is fine. Whew! Won't have to do that for another 10 years now so i went on a very high dose of iron one gram three times daily that holy shit yeah that jesus wow are you just

eating paper clips i had i i was taking a multivitamin with iron in it that i had to stop taking because it was making me ill for like an hour. Well, now that she says that she has pica, maybe it's like an actual piece of iron. It really took a while. After one month, my level

was up to six, but normal is ten to two hundred. Alright, that's quite a variance. So I wasn't safe yet. He agreed to let me wait one more month, but if it isn't up to 10, I will have to do an IV therapy. I just took my blood test today,

so I should know tomorrow. But I will say that the craving for ice just disappeared like two weeks ago. I have been throwing ice away! And for an ice chewer, that's like an attic hearing about somebody else flushing their coke. Holy shit, yeah. Get off of this forum. I just go to the fucking gas station and buy bags of ice and then dump it in the parking lot.

Throwing ice away. I no longer order ice and restaurants etc it's gone and i really don't even like it much at all anymore it is the strangest thing because i can remember how obsessed i was just a few weeks ago that's probably no connection anyway your weight gain could be hormonal you must get into a doctor or go to a health fair if you can't afford the doctor. That, uh, sure. Either go to a doctor or get a ruler in a conference center. Yeah. And get some blood work done.

P.S. Did I mention my hair started to fall out too? It still is. That is all. No, you didn't because you wrote it down and you could check to see if you mentioned it. Although, however, this post is actually extremely good and I wish it showed up at the top of every

topic in this forum so people could read it. It's just stickied at the top of every post. Yeah. Hey guys, you're all sick. Yeah. Go see a doctor. Uh, okay. I, oh. What? I am truly astounded

by your published regards. I really appreciate that you took all this time to try and help us. Your work is carry the information to the other people. Oh, thank you. You didn't have an extremely foreign accent. You could have read that in. I tried not to do that too much because people are like,

something was bad. Eastern European. Russian. Yeah, do that in an Antarctic accent. Okay, here we go. The end. That's a little racist, Lemon. Come on now.

Not all Antarcticans sound like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the penguin was just a racist character. All right. You've obviously never heard of Emperor Penguin. I haven't, no. So, you know, I'm hoping, you know, I was really hoping that we can get, you know, some sort of crossover into the Fine Waters episode, which is good. So we got

Perrier Ice. Ace here, why don't you take this one? Perrier Ice. Oh, shit. That's classy. And it goes well with your username. Yeah. Perrier Ice. And I'm nice ice. I've got six posts,

so you know I've got some stamina here. Well, Perrier is French so it's Nice Ice. Oh, you're right. I bet I know this forum's three favorite rappers. Okay, Snow, Vanilla Ice and Ice-T. Vanilla Ice, Ice-T and Ice-Cube.

I forgot about Cube. Yeah, four. It's better than rabbit turd ice! Wow. You won. It's better than hospital ice! I haven't had

sonic ice yet, but this is really good! I just filled the ice trays one-third to two-third full with, sorry, one-third to one-half full with Perrier! really good! I just filled the ice trays 1 third to 2 third full with, sorry, 1 third to 1 half full with Perrier. It's soft and white and chewy and many pieces are hollow in the

center and it also breaks apart really easily. So fine. I also tried Pellegrino and another off-brand of sparkling mineral water but the Perrier is definitely better than the Pellegrino. The Pellegrino comes another off-brand sparkling mineral water, but the Perrier is definitely better than the Pellegrino. The Pellegrino comes out harder and more brittle.

Holy shit! Fuck that shit. Come on, get to find waters. They probably will pay you for this shit. Well, I didn't try it with just plain carbonated water. I think the minerals in the Perrier help make it softer and chewier. Minerals make it softer.

The best way to enjoy it, because I know you're curious, is to pour room temperature mineral water over the ice to soften it up, and the bubbling mineral water enhances the chewing! You're literally marinating the ice in water.

I was like, you're marinating the mineral ice water with mineral water. He's making the water harder so it will be softer. He's making water stew. Should we go back to that theory that people who chew ice are very sexually active? That's pretty evident so far.

Adam? Yeah? What's your favorite kind of poetry? Are you into freeform poetry or are you more of a haiku guy freeform freeform poetry terrific this is your ice chewing poem

your name is Ice Chew Junkie Ice Chew Junkie we've done like a dozen threads on this forum now. And so far we've seen one user that has more than ten posts. How many users have we seen that don't have ice in their username? Not many.

Yeah, it's like Skunk and Skunk Skunk Spray Me Now. Like it was obviously a forum invasion. My ice-chewing poem. Anyone else got a funny? Oh. By IceChewJunkE. Be whimsical. I sit in my chair and try to ignore the temptation.

Not today, I tell myself. This is mere infatuation. I hear the ice. It calls out to me. One thirty-two ahs, then two, then three. Some say this is madness, others swear I'm a freak. I do hate to annoy, but I

can't help it if I'm weak. Small bits of satisfaction, so heavenly to eat. I shall never end this pleasure of crushing ice with my teeth. Oh, yeah. Stats. Stats. Ice chew junk.

That's actually one of the best poems we've ever had on this podcast. That actually is. Yeah. Not bad. And now we need to go over to the Ice Alert 3000 to get our latest polling data. And Jim with sports. Boots Ringier, you've been out there in the field talking to the people. Yes, I have.

There's a satellite delay. What's that, Levin? You've been out there in the field talking to the people. There's a satellite delay. What's that, Levin? You've been out there in the field talking to the people. What do they have to say about does ice have a taste to you? Does ice have a taste to you? Yes, we've taken a poll out in the lands of

ice. A forum where nobody posts it. Yes. We've asked the following question. Does ice, regardless of form, have a taste to you? The following response is, 13 people said a little. No, it's not 13. Sorry, 13%.

Three people. Three people said a little. Five people said some. Twelve people said a lot. And three people said some. Twelve people said a lot. And three people said none. Do you feel like the ellipsis plus a period helped any in

the polling results? Yes. All possible answers ended with an ellipsis and an extra period. This was required by ethics for some reason. What does this say about Hillary's chances

in 2016? Oh, well... Anyway... It's only going to depend on how much you choose ICE and whether these 21 votes will count in one of her writings. Seems like you might have a little bit of narrow focus.

If you can corner the ice to her vote, she'll have a shot in Minnesota. Taste? You bet! My name is Sonic Ice Queen! So I'm going to start out with a laughing face, Smiley. Sonic Ice Queen is from near my hometown.

Aw, that's nice. Alright, well, am I doing the accent justice? Yes. Sonic Ice Queen is from near my hometown. Oh, that's nice. All right. Well, am I doing the accent justice? Yes. Great. Do you sound like an idiot? Then yes. Racism just a little bit below the surface.

I live in Hannibal, Missouri, but travel home to Louisiana several times a year to visit family and thaw out from these cold winters. We stop at different Sonics along the way to refill my cooler. And I noticed the different taste depending on what part of the country I was in. Can somebody explain to me what Sonic Ice is? What part of the country I was in! Can somebody explain to me what Sonic Ice is? Sonic is a drive-up restaurant where you order from your car and you get fast food. And their ice is, like, really small.

So you got that crunchy ice, which I imagine is what they call the rabbit turd ice. Yeah. Oh, okay. It's not exactly crushed ice, it's just really, really really small cubes I don't want to spoil anything But we will get into a discussion of Sonic Ice Oh okay Different Sonic is a paradox To me

They're all the same It's a franchise so Maybe some of them are Maybe they have different ice suppliers It's the Sonic off of Exit 13 instead of the Sonic off of Exit 113. It's a completely different restaurant. Yeah, but we're talking about different tastes of ice, so it's going to be just whatever. They're basically just trying municipal water in different towns.

When you're right, you're right. What? A logical explanation? I'm sorry. Anyway, where were we okay so we stopped in clinton mississippi and bought a bag of sonic and it wasn't nearly as nice as the ice in missouri or arkansas weird huh did you just buy like a bag of ice from the place yep Yep. Put all your ice in this bag. Put the fucking ice in the bag! Put the fucking ice in the bag!

Hurry up, Ice Queen. We gotta go. We gotta go. You didn't have to shoot that guy. We gotta get across the state line and try their ice. Oh, shit. Somebody needs to read DJ Sur's... DJ Caesar. We just robbed some ice up in Mississippi.

Oh, you got diamonds? No, we got ice. It's fine, you're DJ something or other. Okay. My name is DJ Sur3656. The ice I chew on is chunked. All different shapes and sizes, usually clear, but sometimes I'll find a foggy piece. Those are the best. I beg to disagree.

It's like a four-leaf clover. It doesn't say that, man. I don't think you can say best ice. Every once in a while, I'll get a funky taste in one. I always wonder about it, but then I chew it anyways and try not to let it bother me. You know, try not to think

about why it might tast funky. But I don't think I'll ever stop. Love it too much. Tast funky. So, next threat here is what do you do when you have more ice it is not a poll so suicide is not a viable option acr if you'll start us off with breezy the Ice Princess? Oh my gosh. Oh, shit. Yeah, what do you do when you have no more ice?

I'm Breezy the Ice Princess, you can tell. I can't go on anymore into what to do. Someone please tell me urm essence. I have tried tray ice and it's not cutting it.

My mouth waters. I go nuts trying to get my hands in whatever ice I can, but it's still not enough. Help, please reply to this, my fellow ice chores. You know, I can reply to this, but I can't help. So what do you do in Heaven of Ice? I get more ice, and it's no good.

Please tell me how to get more ice. Trey Ice was in Green Day, right? Trey Ice was in Green Day, right? No, that's Trey as in Deuce, then Trey. All right. Yeah, it's just not good enough. Adam, you are Juhu Lobo. Juhu Lobo. Oh, man.

I never, ever, ever let my supply run out. It is just one of those necessary things on the to-do list. Yeah, crunch ice every day. Thanks, stoner with a cold. I'd imagine it's a pretty small to-do list My eyes Sleep Sleep

I buy 20 pounds of Sonic ice Every other day I couldn't even imagine not having my ice available. What does that need to be in quotes? You know what I mean by available, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like ready to use.

Like hot and ready, man? No, that's just water. It's cold and ready. That sends real chills down my spine. Boo! Face. Lethargic freak out. Now it's turning into a creepypasta.

I feel like every post you've given me so far has had that smiley, the bug-eye smiley. I don't think you've been consistent with me. Oh, no? Consistency is very important in this podcast. With accents, with pronunciation. We are, like, talented, high-paid professionals. God damn it. Okay.

And then Boots, next post down. Oh, yeah. I just want to mention that, you know, unlike so many other podcasts, we don't have sponsorship from Stamps.com or Bonobos. So we're just trying to sneak in our sponsorship where we can. Brought to you by Sonic Ice. Yeah. Now, Sonic Ice is not a law firm, but they do offer self-help service.

Now, don't you hate having to go to Sonic to get your ice? Yeah. It would be really handy if I could just have Sonic Ice. There is a better way. Sonic Ice. Now, with the offer code Sperm Lube, you get 10% off your next mouthful of ice. Hi there, I'm Lisa J.

Hey, Lisa. Laser. OMG, Sonic Ice. Laser. I have to have it. Buy the bag. A Route 44 cup if I'm out in the car. If I panic, I. Lisa. OMG, Sonic Ice. I have to have it. Buy the bag. A root 44 cup if I'm out in the car. If I panic, I run low.

And if I can't melt. What? Oh. It can't melt. It can't melt. It can't melt. It's not even water. It's got a melting temperature of like 120 degrees.

Anyway, it has to have that crunch my brain craves. I'm a nurse and I know it's a sign of anemia. But to be honest, I want the ice. Forget iron pills. All they do is constipate you. And they certainly don't supply you with ice. My family and coworkers think I'm crazy. Sonic ice rules.

I'm glad I'm not alone. My family and coworkers think I should take iron supplements. They're crazy. All they do is constipate you. They don't give you iron or anything that your body needs. I'm a nurse. That means I get to do whatever I want. That's right.

Damn straight. I didn't go to nursing school to help people. I went to nursing school so I could lord it over people when I told them it's okay to eat ice. So I could say, I'm a nurse. I'm sorry nurses out there. I love you. This thread is called... This is in Board Index Personal Recipes.

Recipes. Oh, I'm looking forward to this. Well, the guy who keeps running out of ice, he might need to check this out. It's got such threads as makes the best snow like crushed ice, which ice makers are the best for home use. My recipe, seltzer meets ninja.

Flavor those cubes. Anyway. This post is entitled Ice Chewing and Interest in Texture of Sand and Dirt. My name is Crunch Crunch Crunch. Nobody

has ever had as much pika as this guy has had. Okay. I have been chewing ice every day for the past four or five months during the same time frame. I have been really interested in the texture of sand, dirt, etc. Not eating it. Sand. Dirt.

But just digging in it. Yeah, I forgot what you were talking about between the sentence and that one. My children. I have children. My children have a sandbox and they also love to play at a big pile of dirt nearby, and I have found myself really interested in

playing with this stuff, too. Often, when I drive by construction sites with diggers and excavators, I think, hmm, that would be really fun to dig in that big pile of dirt. Can anyone out there relate to this? Yeah, five-year-olds.

They also wonder that. I also like it when spaceships go... I love it when I get the last chocolate milk at lunchtime. Fuck you, Mark. Mark has to get regular. He has to get 2%. All right. I think we've got to close this thing out.

Adam, I'm going to give you a choice of what you want to finish this up with. They are two threads, and their titles are thus. One thread is called, I Know I'm Addicted to Ice When... And something about this forum makes people think that ellipses have four periods in them. But anyway, I Know I'm Addicted to Ice When is one option. The other option is, My Roommate Threw My Ice Away! My Roommate Threw My Ice Away. I don't think that's a real choice. I know I'm the next to the ice wind is one option. The other option is, my roommate threw my ice away! My roommate threw my ice away. I don't think that's a real choice.

I'm not asking you if I should kill him. I'm asking you how I should kill him. Before you begin that, I just want to read the red title of this one. Burn calories by chewing ice! Yay! red title of this one. Sure. Burn calories by chewing ice! Yay. If you chew all the ice

that one woman stole from work, you'll burn like three calories. It clarifies this. You can burn up to 75 calories by eating a bag of ice. This weight loss program is not endorsed by the FDA. My roommate threw my ice away.

Oh, Jesus. I am so angry. I was sitting down minding my own business, eating ice after a great meal. I have to eat ice after every meal. Sure, right? Yeah, right. And before to eat ice after every meal. Sure, right? Yeah, right. And before and during. Well, yeah.

And she started yelling at me and telling me that I am crazy and that I have a sickness. And then she threw my ice away! How? Oh, my God. How? How did she?

All my ice wasted! And that's that it was put around her waist. Went right to my waist! My heart literally dropped! Oh my god! How are you still typing? I'm better now. Okay.

I felt so hurt, and something inside of me wanted to throw her across the room, but I couldn't. Because I'm too weak. Because I'm anemic. Well, because his heart dropped. Have any of you ever felt that strongly about...

About? About including objects in your sentences? No. I can't believe that I am seriously this addicted tis really like a drug. I don't care. I need it. It's a Linkin Park song. I don't care.

I need it. I don't care. I need my eyes. This song's about parents. Wigga, wigga, wigga, wigga, wigga, wigga. Duh, duh, duh, duh. Wigga, wigga, wigga. I am so anemic.

How would you all feel if you were so happy to finally get your mouth around some nice, Oh, yeah. Soft, cloudy eyes. Yeah, yeah. And someone threw your big cups of ice away. Fuck! Oh, my balls are gone! Please let me know.

Shallow grave time. My heart just fell out of my chest. Boots, you are Cube Abuser. Oh, God. I! Cube abuser. I'm cube abuser. S&M community of the ice world. Take that, ice! Yeah! I'm gonna get out the blow dryer.

You like that, don't you, ice? You're really cloudy, aren't you? Okay, this friend, in quotes, of mine once tried that on me. He took all the ice out of my freezer, put it in my tub, stole my trays, poured all the bottled water I had in my fridge out, too. It's what I use to make my cubes. His tires were mysteriously slashed the next

day. So you're still friends, are you? Yeah, we're still friends. This mom of mine. ACR, you are Lakey 201.

And you know that feeling. Oh, you are Lakey201. And you know that feeling. Oh, yeah, I know that feeling. I used to eat ice from my boyfriend in his housemates' freezer from a couple of ice trays as my large stash is at home. Her boyfriend has a refrigerator. Yeah. Trying to parse that sentence as it was being read. Yeah, I ate it right from my... Anyway, look, what i do in my home is my own business fair enough one day i came in

all need to find that the ice trays were gone from the freezer there's like six exclamation points i'm really frustrated about this i i yelled at my boyfriend where are they he replied he didn't know then i noticed his housemate grinning as he watched the television. I jumped on him. What have you done with them? I shouted at him as I bashed him over the head with my pathetic girly fists.

Jesus Christ. Holy fuck. Yeah. Well, he said, if hit them so you can't have ice anymore while you're over here. I just want to mention, I'm positive this girl is fucked bunny bread.

Yeah, baby. Yeah, won't you mess with that ass, baby? I think I remember him telling us about this girl. I looked high and low for them and couldn't find anything. I came to the conclusion that he had probably thrown them away. No, this isn't

even at her house. This is at someone else's house. They weren't in the freezer. They weren't under the pillow. Well, I kept them in my boyfriend's, so it's our stuff. A few days later, they were evicted, and my boyfriend and I were it's our stuff. A few days later, they were evicted,

and my boyfriend and I were moving his bed out of his room when there they were! What? Behind my boyfriend's bed! What? They were all minging, so I threw them away anyway. Minging? Yeah, they were minging, so they smelled like pussy. Ew.

But now I have some loverly new ones at his new place and he doesn't live with that nasty, nasty boy anymore so my ice trays are safe. For now. And not one but two demonic smileys.

And he doesn't live with that nasty nasty boy. Don't mean a thing. And not one, but two demonic smileys. He doesn't live with that nasty. Nasty boy. Don't mean a thing. Throwing out my trays. Fuck you, nasty boy. It's fine. Just finish it up for us, will you?

Hey, it's Sweet Tea 72 again. Sweet Tea. Wow. The most prolific poster. Yeah, so far. I was out of the office for one day, and I came back to find that someone threw out the ice out of one of the freezers that I eat the ice out of.

I get paid by the preposition. Bulging eyes, smiley. I have another freezer to go to, but I like the other ice in the other freezer better. I hope I make it through the day okay. God, these people are picky.

And my husband keeps telling me to stop banging on the ice in the freezer, so now I have to wait until he's out of the house to eat the ice in peace. By the way, this post was entitled Ice Crisis. So it's that scene with Ginny Sack and the Sopranos with ice. What the fuck are you doing?

I thought you quit doing that shit. I couldn't help myself, Johnny. Oh, it's just one cue. Oh, it's just one cue! Oh, baby! All this over ice! I was trying to figure out how many minutes of that I could do verbatim. It's probably about six. So what did we learn from this experience?

I learned that people are not willing to look at the undertones of things. This really is, it's all just about chewing ice, but as outside readers, we can tell we can see all this stuff going on just underneath the surface that they can't. I learned that it's much, much easier to inflict brain damage than I originally thought.

You just freeze the brain! Apparently all you need to do is put your brain into close proximity to a trash bag's worth of ice. For a few months. Oh man, that's going to start happening at Gitmo. Some of the base cutting and imagination on display here to get the ice, if we could put that against the economy,

I don't know, by renaming the dollar the Ice Cube or something? Some of these people think they're the Trix rabbit and ice is Trix. It's like, how do you get ice? I'm looking for ice everywhere and I can't find it. Do you got a Noah guy? Well, for the good ice, I mean,

I would say that, like, you know, there's definitely, like, you know, some, you know, you could point to actual medical reasons or, you know, just anything. I mean, just people doing fucked up things. And so you have some sort of, like, visceral addiction to something, which, you know, as somebody that still smokes, I understand that. Like, you know, it's bad for me. I keep doing it.

But on the other hand, I've never gone on like cigarettesmokers.com and posted, you know, long posts about driving cross country to get the Marlboros that they have in Louisiana. I mean, that's the part that's weird to me is that it's like, you know, it brings you some sort of pleasure or or whatever and even though it's bad for you, still do it. Okay, sure, but the community to it, I don't know. Do you think new employees at Sonic get warned ahead of time

about these people? Or is it like a rite of passage to discover it on your own? There's the pictures of the people who write the bad checks. Right next to there. No, I think it's like the first time they deal with it, you know, you can

see it in your co-worker's face and you go, yeah, that guy was an ice muncher, wasn't he? Yeah, we get like one a week. Well, you're part of the team now. Congratulations. Yeah, they're not doing anything illegal. Just give them ice.

Sonic is like, yeah, it's like they're Philip Morris. Yeah. Is Sonic going to be on the hook for this? Like, is there going to be like lawsuits? And then those lawsuits will end up in lawsuit-paid television commercials encouraging teenagers to not chew ice. Oh my god.

Yeah! You think you're cool chewing ice? Smoking's cold! One thing I noticed is all the stuff we read had a very support group kind of vibe to it, also. Yeah, it's a lot of incredible amount of sublimation of addictive behavior here. It's such a low stakes

addiction, but it's so alluring to these people for whatever reason. And the support group thing plays both sides because they're constantly like, ah, I'm dying because i chew too much ice and people go i know but chewing ice is the best yeah exactly and like the first thread was

hey i like chewing ice and then somebody else comes in yeah you want to watch me chew ice on camera so ice chewing is different things to different people, but there is that whole, yeah, there's some investment here. It's like a movement that hasn't decided if it's a fetish or an addiction or a support group. Well, that's the thing. I think it's a fetish for some people. I think it's just a plain medical-type addiction for others. But I bet in, like, what was it going to take, like, seven years,

and then there's going to be some cop show on TV. It's like, like, what was it gonna take? Like seven years and then there's gonna be like some cop show on TV is like, yeah, he's an ice chewer. And we're gonna be like, is that he... We're at, you know, we're at like season 16 of Law & Order SVU. I mean, they've gotta get to it at some point. He killed him

with an ice pick. Are you telling me that this guy chews ice? Man, that's one cold mouth on that guy. Shit. Anyway. Hang on, I'm making my worst icy impression

sculpture. I'll be smiling at you. Alright, go to ball pit Go to ball pit Thank you to Caroline for submitting this Bye bye We need to wrap that up Bye bye Bye bye Bye bye The freezer was broken and it worked better.

Yeah. Well, you know, because it was producing ice all over the sides of it. Well, it wasn't defrosting itself. I think it was malfunctioning like in a Warner Brothers cartoon where it just kept like coughing ice. Yeah. Like jumped up and down and coughed. Okay.

Yep. My Mac is all wet now.