The F Plus - 135: These Are a Few of My Favorite Kinks

Episode Date: May 2, 2014

This one is super duper gross. Anyway, The F-List (unaffiliated with The F Plus) is a community where furries can view the profiles of other furries to see if they're (cyber)sexually compatible. So, what's it take to make a love connection? Common interests, shared life goals, and enough opposing perspective to keep things interesting? Of course not. You just both need to be into navel play. This week, The F Plus explores The Fetish Matrix and very much earns our explicit rating.

Looking for a little bit of strange... Looking for a little... Fuck. Look, Adam, if you're too aroused by all this balloon talk, and it's distracting you... Yeah, that's how I say it when I'm aroused. Fuck! God damn it!

Hey, I thought you were just like me. Son of a bitch! I know you're turned down from all those exasperated sighs you're making. Give it to me, don't give it away. Don't think about what the others say. My skin's getting clear, my hair's so bright. All you do is fuck me every day and night. Welcome to the F+, your place on the internet for terrible things read with enthusiasm.

In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. Coiling is the act of being entwined, held, or hugged in the grasp of a long tail. Jack Chick. Unrealistic Vore. Engaging in a vore scene in which realistic physiology is not taken into account. Typically connotates soft vore. John Toast. Uppity. Expresses an interest in engaging in an RP in which the submission

of an or bottom character is combative or disobedient in any number of ways. Kumquats up! Cum Inflation. Heavy extreme. Engaging in a roleplay in which at least one character

is filled with an impossible amount of semen. By the way, this episode's gross. Adam Bozarth. Intelligent Partners. Exhibits of preference for partners that have a particularly high level

of intelligence, wit, cunning, and manipulation skills. Ew. And Lemon. Small Dom, big sub. That's the way we like to... Wait. I didn't think that through. Hey, F+. Hey, man.

Are you guys doing well? Are you all happy? Yes. Terrific. I'm feeling great. Okay. So, as members of, you know, the F+, I'm assuming that you've all heard of the F-Lists. Am I right about that?

You are not. Is that, like, where they list our episodes? No, that place is called VF Plus. Damn it. I just picture Kumquat looking at the website going like, when are they going to post our episodes?

God damn it. The F list is a super, super fun place where it's an interactive community where mostly furries can talk to each other and they can role play and then sex chat with each other and write down all of their sexual fetishes, which obviously number in the thousands. And, you know, just get to know each other and talk a little bit about love. Does that sound fun? That's what the F stands for, I assume.

The fun list. It's the fun list! Yay! Yay! Oh no. Oh no. So on the bottom of each of these pages, you've got the fetish matrix. I don't know if that's the term that they're using, but that's definitely what I want to use.

A fetish Excel sheet. Pretty much. And from a HTML JavaScript perspective, it's not that badly made. You break things into categories of favorite, yes, maybe, or no. You break things into categories of favorite, yes, maybe, or no. And then presumably there's all of the stuff that comes from the wiki that gets fed in, but then you can also add your own things like exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, omni-fertility. So they're just checking off all of the things they're into and the things they're not into from a big list? Because the idea is that you

as a chatter are going to interact with somebody else as a chatter. So you're both going to look at each other's CVs to see if they have a match. And by the way, if Water Sports

and SCAT is something that is very interesting to you, you can actually filter the list down. So if I only want to view those people who are, like, Microsoft Gold certified in queefing, then... Uh, yeah, so that's the Matrix. Jack Chick, what did you just find? Heavily excessive pre-cum.

That's when you engage in an RP in which a character, typically unrealistically endowed... Produces exceptionally large... It's so small! Produces exceptionally large volumes of pre-cum, including but not limited to multiple gallons and or looses pre-cum with exceptional force and consistency,

often to the point of being comparable to urinating or further. At that point, the post-cum has to be a disappointment. Right. This is where we're starting? Yeah, my pre-cum is multiple gallons, but my actual cum is about, you know,

about a milliliter. You know, to be fair, that could be paired with heavily excessive semen. Which is the exact same text as above. We're going to be talking about the profiles of the members of F-List and kind of

what they're into so that if any of you are looking for a new friend, this is where you can start. So, Jack Chick, if you'll start us out here with Alyssa Whitefur. She's a 24-year-old hermaphrodite.

Orientation unsure. The page I'm about to enter may contain adult material. Am I sure I want to click through? You got to. When were you last online, Alyssa Whitefur? I was last

online two hours and 38 minutes ago. I just missed you. Damn it. You've been viewed 15,000 times. Anyway. My page was created one year, 11 months, three weeks, and six days ago. Well, just tell me a little bit about yourself, please, Alyssa.

Absolutely. Alyssa was a normal wolfess. She was good looking and clever. She worked for a research ability and her life was good. She earned enough money so she could spend it whenever she wanted. One day, the facility was looking for some test persons for a new potion. The potion should erase the feeling of pain, but in the end, the experiment was a failure, and her body changed. Her breath started to grow, and her nipples could be penetrated from different things.

What? Uh-huh. All right, I think we'll count this Tylenol test as a success. We can penetrate her nipples. Well, that's not too weird. No, but with certain things. Yeah. Certain things.

No, no, no. They could be penetrated from different things. So you could be standing on a spoon and penetrate her, wherever you are. Bike pumps. Her clit changed and started to grow into a cock. When Alyssa got into heat or felt arousal, the cock gets stiff very quickly. Also now, she had two urethras, and both were able to stretch big things into it. Okay.

You know, Ford Explorer. Are there any downsides to this potion? The Washington Monument. Even her pussy and ass became way more flexible than they should be. Now Alyssa is able to take most anything and any size inside her body. Also, she is producing a massive amount of cum. If she isn't able to cum for three days, then her climax looks like the eruption of a volcano. No, no, no.

That's not a volcano. No. If she isn't able to cum for three days, then her climax looks like the eruption of a volcano. I apologize. If she isn't able to cum for three days, then her climax looks like the eruption of a volcano. A volcano. A volcano. Cum long and prosper. Never-ending streams of warm cum

spurting into the air or inside some people's bodies. Never-ending streams. Like a waterfall from a volcano. Her life changed from that moment. She wasn't able to wear clothes because no shop could have her sizes. That would be possessive sizes. Yeah.

So she decided to stay nude. Her fur covered every part of her body so no one could see her hidden parts. The only problem is... Oh, really? The only problem is her in-stand arousal by exiting movements or sexual teasing.

She can't resist such... Whoa! That is a problem! Is that a problem you run into frequently? Yeah. I'm just wondering what an exiting movement is. It's like she leaves the bank and is like, boing! Exit. Exit. Stage left. Erection. Fuck it.

She can't resist such feelings and gets into heat whenever something sexual happens. The worst case is that a girl or woman drops something on the ground. So she needs to bow down, revealing her hot, tight ass to Alyssa. She does need to do that, yeah. I just love the robotic reading of all this. She has sex. She likes to sex. She is going to

have sex and cum. You can put things in her in places. Her orifices are opening and closing at all times. Sex cum. It's very erotic, is what I'm trying to say. It really is. In such situations, her mind starts to snap, and the only thing she can think of is sex. It's dangerous.

Oh, what a change. It's dangerous for others. Now the story's getting interesting. It's dangerous for others because she already destroyed some buttholes and even pussies when she was in a sex raid. It's like the scene with Gone with the Wind. Everybody's just lying down. There's a field of people

lying down. Assholes torn open. What happened to those buttholes? I destroyed those buttholes. They came and took our buttholes. The aftermath of the sex rage. When I saw the fucking fields. She's open and friendly to all living things.

She loves sex, but she is too shy to do it in public. See, this is what I would use to demonstrate how context is important, because the Senate, she's open and friendly to all living things. Wouldn't be that bad on its own. But... Well, I would just like to point out that Alyssa here, her faves,

her faves include anal fisting, anal prolapse, We should focus on the ones that have, like, four or more exclamation marks Sure, but hang on She also faves anal sex Right

But in her no category is anal virginity Oh No anal virgins! Okay, so here's the interesting thing I'm mousing over the exclamation marks And judging from the syntax and everything Apparently the exclamation marks, and judging from the syntax and everything, apparently the exclamation marks are ones they've made themselves. Yes.

That's amazing. The ones they've highlighted, they put their own comments. It's like one of the big ones is, alternative holes! So... 96.7, alternative holes. Also, Jackcheck, please read Alternative Holes description.

Yeah. Okay. Alternative Holes. Let's put reality somewhere else, okay? So she got that lovely, oh, so tight-looking urethra down there, so why don't you just slam UR cock into it? Because that's a terrible idea. why don't you just slam you are cock into it?

Because that's a terrible idea. Or you are tongue depending on you are preference. Her eyes are so bright. Want to make her blind? Push a cock into them. Ears, navel, and nostrils count too. So, yeah, under the... What does all the way through mean? Do you want me to tell you? Oh, yeah, sure.

So all the way through. Push it in my mouth or ass and let it come out the other end. Love if it's done by tentacles or really long cocks, but can be limited to cum only. Thank goodness! Like a silly straw. Like a weird Belgian fountain.

Okay, okay, okay. You can sexually make me into a skewer with a tentacle, but it has to come at the end. Otherwise, no go for me. Right. That's in the no column. So, yeah.

There are... So, okay. So let's move on. That person seems to be a pervert. We should really stay away from them. So let's move on to Selador. Adam, if you'll read Selador for us. And, by the way,

Selador... That's not Selador. Oh, you're absolutely right. I'm so sorry. Serolor. Hey, Serolor, is there any way on the internet I could contact you? Any way at all? I don't know if some people have sort of an internet disconnect. Is there any way I could contact you any way at all i don't know if some people have sort of an internet disconnect

is there any way i could contact you well since you asked you can get a hold of me at serolore at gmail or for affinity i'm serolore or for cadia or irc or m Life or Skype or Steam or Tapestries or Trillion or Twitter or my website holopaws.com or my Jabber account is cyrilore at gmail.com or you can yim me on Yahoo Instant Messenger.

No, I don't have any of those installed. Guess we'll never meet. How old are you and what the fuck are you? Well, I'm 1500 years old. Great. Perfect. Good. I'm a man. I'm gay.

I speak English. I'm a balloony dragon. We'll be the judge of whether or not you speak English. Oh, good. I thought this wasn't a clown episode. So, yeah, so just tell me a little bit about yourself. King Seralor.

I tend to be pretty easy to get along with. I love to meet new people, so I highly encourage you to give me a poke. That said, as far as RP goes, I am gay, and I really tend to play only with other male players. Even those who'd want me to make them male, I'd highly prefer instead you start off as a male already. Male herms are also okay. My mate is one after all, so I can't complain about that.

But breasts are out. Get used to it. If only men had breasts. Oh, wait. Impossible. Must read. These are some factoids about my form, so you people can quit having to assume the incorrect.

If you play with me and assume something about me, I point out here, I will be very pissed! I wouldn't want to piss you off, so please, go through these factoids about you. Point one. Serilor's skin is as smooth as silk. That basically means I'm... well...

silky smooth, not frictiony or grippy like most other latexes are. Sorry for those of you who enjoy your fur being pulled out by a tacky rubber or latex, but I'm supposed to be more like the inflatable version of a plushie. How is that? What the? Okay, that just blew my mind. How is there a specific fetish for your fur being pulled out by a latex balloon?

Hey, Sarah Lohr. What? Hey, Sarah-lore. What? Hey, Sarah-lore. What are you actively seeking? I am actively seeking... Mr. Patch! Anything else? Anything else about you?

That you wanted to... Because I wouldn't want to make false assumptions about you. Look, Sarah Lohr is anti-static, okay? Also following in the prior. Sorry for any of those of you who love a zap. But generally speaking, my form doesn't generate static. What the fuck? How is what?

How is what? Look, a lot of people... I'm a balloon, but not that kind of balloon, asshole! You are not to rub me on your head. I'm a strong, independent balloon who don't need no zap. You don't understand. If I don't dress up like a cartoon dog and run balloons all over me and shock myself with static, I can never come. Please help!

All the party balloons independent! Oh, hey, a balloon. Hey, I'm gonna rub a zap. Oh, hey, a balloon. Hey, I'm going to rub a zap. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's great. Serolor is seamless. I have no seams. You ever bought a balloon in a store that had seams?

Yeah, I thought not. Actually, yeah, all of the, like, Mylar party balloons, they have a seam on the middle because they're two pieces. Nuh-uh. Yeah, no, they're two pieces. Nuh-uh. Yeah, no, they're two pieces that they sew together. That's how Mylar balloons work. No, uh-uh. Did you buy it at a store, though?

Have you bought one of those in a store? You're right, I actually did. I never bought a Mylar balloon in a store. You got me. See? What are you, a Rockefeller? Still holds. Okay, no, you're right.

Serolor is not a pool toy. Okay, but I want a pool toy. Well, I can function as one, but if you call me one, I'll be unhappy about it. Oh, so that's like a slur against him. So we can use you as a pool toy, but we can't call you one. Well, I might correct you gently the first time or two, but if you keep calling my body type a pool toy, I'm gonna get pissed off.

Look, look, pool toy is our word. You can't take that. It's like the ownership of slut, you know? Like, there's a time and a place for being called a slut. It's how you say it. But that doesn't mean I'm a slut. Sarah Lohr is squishy. I'm always squishy, no matter how huge I'm inflated.

I don't get taught. Stop acting like I do. I don't get taught. Stop acting like I do. I won't get pissed off. I really wish you spelt taught the other way. I don't get taught. Well, that's implied, for sure. Anything else? I'm opaque.

I am not see-through. If you say that I am, I will assume that you haven't read this and point you to it again. I'm gonna make you read a wiki, motherfucker! I was really hoping for a transparent pool toy, but I just think I'm in the wrong place.

Well, if I'm gonna fuck a balloon dragon, he better be transparent. What's the fucking point? Okay, great. So, we went through the stuff. There's the fucking point? God damn it. Okay, great. So we went through the stuff. There's no zapping, no fur pulling, no seams. You're not a pool toy. You're opaque.

You're squishy. That's great. All I want is a fucking balloon dragon that I can pop. So we're set because you didn't say no popping. No popping. God damn it. I also abhor popping greatly. I'm actually a little notorious about hating it in Hash Inflation on Fernet IRC. I've just started to relax about it, however.

So just keep the idea away and we should be fine. That said, depending on the situation, it'd be okay to mention it. Maybe curiosity over my durability or vice versa should that be the situation. Sure. Alright. I often like to roleplay as a dragon or a human meeting

another toy. Good lord. You've got a friend in me. I don't think it's actually said here, but I don't understand if you're filled with air or with balloon juice or what. Squitchy. Precum, obviously. You know, I wonder if this whole thing is like, oh, I'm an inflatable balloon. I'm just opaque.

That's why I don't look like a balloon. It's like, is this just a cover for you being fat? I'm inflated. I'm just a balloon, but you just can't see through me so I remember you telling me that you were actively seeking Mr. Patch

I was tell me a little I don't know I've never heard that phrase before looking for Mr. Patch looking for a bit of a strange scenario. Looking for a guy who loves inflation to play as the Mr. Patch. Strange

wobbly inflatable thing from the Banjo-Kazooie series. Oh, okay. I know it's a bit of a far-fetched of a request, but I know some people enjoy it, and I'm looking for some serious inflation fund. No popping. To mega

macro scales and above. Basically, I am... Wait, what's above mega macro scales? Galactic scales. Galactic Terra macro? Terra macro. Nano galactic scales.

Planetary scale. Sure. Basically, I envision Mr. Patch as being someone who actually is quite greedy when it comes to size, hence his eagerness to become massive in the game, and even more so in the most recent one. But he's also limitlessly stretchy and unpoppable, with only those patches able to be removed by that terrible duo. In this scenario, there'd be no such destruction. Likely, the situation would start at the tent with an excited balloony Drake

looking up to his idol and being the lone one there with an offer to inflate him even more. If you're interested and you can type well, hit me up. I want to play. So I know he's talking about the type of dragon, but I really amuse myself by thinking of the rapper Drake. The balloon Drake. Who the

fucking y'all? Hey, do you have any favorites? Are there super duper duper duper favorites of fetishes that you have? I got a few. Like, being teased about fetishes, having someone make fun of me or bully me in some ways. Like, giving me a funny voice on the internet. Well, enjoy your orgasm.

Oh, God, we're enabling him. About my squeakiness or inflation-loving, especially paired with an inflating me to tease too. Inflating me to tease? Yeah, inflating me to tease. What? Ah. Inflating me to tease too. Is there a

some sort of filling? Oh, yeah, unique goo filling. Goo! Well, sorta. Only if it's like really thick. Goo! Well, sorta. Only if it's, like, really thick. Like a putty, almost. Like, think of it as one of those, like, flower-filled balloons,

as far as squishiness goes, and miles. Thanks. You know, that's fun. Especially nice and hot. And growing. What the fuck's a flower-filled balloon? You have a little W finishfinish? Liquid concrete?

It's like the stress balls. Oh, okay, okay. What's the very last one in your fave list? Where, balloony? Where someone who's normally a flashy creature or human who becomes a balloony by the way of a trigger? Oh, God, the light of the full moon. Tie a string to my toe, I'll float away! No!

No! By the way, I'm a maybe I'm barbed cocks. I thought you didn't want to be poked. Could be yes, could be no. Depends on the day. Cyril or, Cyril or, do you have anything like vor-like that you like at all, maybe?

Oh, balloony TF vor. I'm only into vor for the sake of balloonifying others. I may consider other cases of having someone inside me, though. Just ask. Wait, is that how, is that like the vampire rule for balloons? Yeah. You eat, if a

balloon eats a man, the man becomes a balloon? Yeah, that's how my dog turned into a balloon. So you're a yes on water sports, but you're a yes on water sports, but you're a no on hyper water sports. It's not even a maybe. But I am into macro scale water sports.

Right. Kumquats up. I want to ask you a question, but I feel like I know that the answer is yes. But I'm going to ask you this question anyway. Hey, Kumquats up I want to ask you a question But I feel like I know that the answer is yes But I'm going to ask you this question anyway Hey come quats up Would you like to read some poetry? Is it a haiku? Is that a second fist?

Or a third fist? He's got sort of like a A horse dong? Maybe He a... A horse dong? Maybe. He's got a horse dong? I don't know what you're saying. A flower vase? I felt like he had an eel for a cock, but...

Anyway, so your name is Bear the Werehorse. Yeah, okay, you're right. I don't recommend clicking on the images 27 link there. It says there. Because that means there's 27 images. It's a good point. That's why I... So you're Bay the Werehorse.

Yes. You're male. Yes, hello. You're pansexual. Yes. You're in Greenwich Mean Time, so that's great. It's true. So just tell me a little bit about yourself, please.

Yes, I'm male, and I'm pansexual. He only has sex with pans. He only fucks fleets. Yeah. That's my favorite weapon in Left 4 Dead. I like English, and I'm a werehorse, and my preference is furs and or humans. Good, good.

Because horse-human sex is... Okay. Yeah. I was created one year and nine months ago. So I have this picture that is to the left that I shouldn't look at. Anyway, tell me about yourself. Yeah, so here's my overview. This is an overview that will tell you about me.

Great, good. I want to know about you. You sound fun. What night through yonder window breaks? Oh, no. through yonder window breaks. Oh no. It is Bay,

hurled from a boudoir by an enraged husband who catches fleeing man and steed under a mercurial moon defenestrated, bludgeoned sickened pale but at the sunrise

he gains far more flair this male that was quite a was that poem in English? I'm telling you that I gained a flare gun.

Thank you for using this demo version of Poetry Generator. The full version works a lot better, just so you know. It's flare wear. Flare wear. Bay has been a werehorse for a while now, but he refuses to let the years weigh on him. As a human, he takes up simple jobs where he can

find them. Despite seeming a bit too young for some of them. Farrier? Courier? Tailor? Breeder? Jockey? He tries to stay unremarkable in his travels. hailer breeder jockey

he tries to stay unremarkable in his travels I imagine he does seem unremarkable the werehorse with a cock as big as him yeah he's found he can change into an anthro horse

totally unremarkable which is his most comfortable form. Yay! He has a... He has a human form. Of course, of course. Boo. A full, feral horse

form is also available to him. As well as Equitar? Mm-hmm. And Centaur forms. I guess Equitar is probably Centaur backwards, with a horse head on a human body.

Wouldn't it be a horse head on a horse body? Not. But with arms? I am a horse as fat as the equator. Maybe it's a horse bottom with another horse bottom. Unpopular in a parade.

It's a centaur with a horse head. It's the most impossible. It's a centaur with a horse head. That's the most amazing thing possible. It just has arms. You're kidding. No, it's a horse with an extra torso. What? It's a horse with a six pack.

Hey, everybody listening to this podcast, stop it. Google Equitar. Laugh a second. Resume the podcast. Look, it's not that important. He just takes whatever form behooves him. That's good F plus.

Goodbye. I like that one. Now I'm looking at Triceratops Equitar. Okay. He tries to stay around horses, since that's the best way to find guys and cows that like horses. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just take it.

Yeah. Yep. Some detective work there. Nearly every night He tries to find someone to share a bed with Okay He's very open minded With a long life

He's lost track of the number of possible Offspring he might have He hasn't tried To raise any of them When he starts fearing World weary He stays as a horse for months. And that removes most of his memories.

Best forgotten. Allowing him to restart young and fresh. I really like this version of Forrest Gump. Well, after Janney left, I just turned into a horse and rode around the country. It was pretty good for a while. Getting everybody pregnant. By the way, I'm screaming Jay Hawkins.

I fucked a lot of horse ass. Oh, hey, he's into All the Way Through, too. Who would have known? So you're into All the Way Through. Do you like any sort of questions? Did any questions turn you on? I hate questions. I hate lazy questions.

Fuck you. Fuck your questions that you ask me. What? Oh? Question marks? What part did you not understand? How are you? I'm fine.

What are your kinks? See my list. Is there anything else we should discuss? Which of my kinks do you like? Likely, where our kinks? See my list. Is there anything else we should discuss? Which of my kinks do you like? Likely, where our kinks overlap. Can I ask you a question? Go ahead.

What are you up to, not much if I'm here? Up until that point, you seemed like such a nice monster fuckhorse. So you fucking hate small talk. Yeah. Fuck you. Are any questions your fave, though? Oh, I like good questions. Good questions.

Give me your good questions. If it's a question I haven't seen before I'll gladly answer it what can I ask as far as your yeses what cum related things are your yeses I haven't seen that question before I like that one.

You have answered the Equitar's riddle. Oh no! What do I get? You get a gold star with a giant horse dick. Yes, yes. Regarding if I were sending an email Ah, yes, yes. Regarding if I were sending an email with an R-E and a colon in front of it and then come after it, I would say

come from mouth nose, come inflation heavy extreme, come inflation light medium, and come milking, I am in favor. What is the last. Under the yes category, what is the last P letter one?

Yes? Puppy pony play! Canceled. Don't go to the description. No, no. Okay, but I would like to point out that all of those cum things you asked me about, Canceled. I... Don't go to the description. No, no. Don't go to the description. Okay, but I would like to point out that all of those cum things you asked me about, I don't really like because they're not in my faves.

The one that's in my fave is cum bath! Right. Although also in your yes category is thick, sticky cum. You like that? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

You know what I like about this list is that for yes, it is cunnilingus giving and cunnilingus receiving. So I just picture somebody's face down in his crotch and he's like, well, if you can find it, you can lick it. Go for it. I would also like to point out that I

am maybe about cervines, which is deer elk moose. That's a maybe. Oh, boy. John, will you tell me a little bit about Sasha Birdo? I think I will tell you about Sasha Birdo. Good. Great.

Thanks. Well, let me give you a short description of me. I'm Sasha Birdo, apparently. Mm-hmm. of me. I'm Sasha Birdo, apparently. I am a busty female Birdo with some big curves, looking for a good time.

Like from Mario 2? Yeah. Well, but with bigger tits, obviously. I see the pictures. I didn't need to ask that. No. What? That's your breaking point, What? Ooh, okay.

Oh, that's your breaking point, huh? All right. Well, let me give you... Would you like the long description? Oh, absolutely, yes. By all means. Well... I'd love it. As you look over the pink creature standing before you,

you see that there is a large red bow on the back of its head. Looking over its face, you see a dark purple eye shade over her eyelids. Her eyes are a pink that matches her skin tone. As you come down to the creature's muzzle, you notice that there is more than just a large hole. Looking over it,

there is a bit of red lipstick around the outer edges of the hole. Suddenly that broke the hole. Suddenly that broke the arrest. Mouth hole. Who cares? I have lipstick on. Okay, back into character. It's more cloaca. Eggs come out of it.

There is a tongue that slides out for a moment to lick the edges of the hole like they were lips. As you go down from her face, you notice that she isn't wearing any clothing. She likes it better that way, though in most public settings, she'll try to wear something appropriate. But for today, she was wearing nothing as you looked at her. This is where you could tell it was very clearly a female. What makes that clear? I don't understand.

An E.E. Bust. Oh, right. Not for chest. Hanging like they were defying gravity. Because that's what hanging means. Isn't E.E. Bust the drummer in ZZ Top? No, that's Frank Beard. Oh, yeah, the one who doesn't have a beard.

That would be E.E. Cummings' lesser known brother. E.E. Cummings' lesser known brother. E.E. Cummings' younger, dirtier brother. With some large nipples at the end, it was very easy to tell that it was a female. As her pink coloring coated her breasts, there was some white

that just... Well, suddenly, it started being written very much worse. I wonder if somebody lost a hand in this title. I'm losing focus. I can't tell a line. So on the Bressies, there was some white that went just around the top of her chest, down in between her tits, and over her belly, finally ending in a V, like a guiding line to her pussy and tail hole.

Bingo. Just follow your nose. Tail hole. Yeah, that's a great word. Can you tell me a little bit about hot-dogging? Well, I'd be glad to tell you about hot-dogging. You naughty boy, you. Now, the hot-dogging, if you don't know,

is the act of placing a penis between the ass cheeks and pressing them against it, sliding in between them in order to reach sexual satisfaction. Oh, what's up, hotdog? Are you pro or con? That's a favorite of mine. I'm into something that only middle school kids have thought up. I have a question.

Yes? What if I want to play with your navel? Oh, my God. You nasty boy. It'll mean a thing. How do you feel about that? That is a no for me. You cannot play with my belly button. Sasha Birdo, what's your favorite? It'll mean a thing. How do you feel about that? That is a no for me. Fuck!

You cannot play with my belly button. Sasha Birdo, what's your favorite place to be penetrated? Hmm. I guess you have two favorites. Two different favorites. What are your two favorite places to be penetrated? I like to be gaping in a lot of places, but as for penetration, I like to be penetrated in the throat. Sure, but as for penetration, I like to be penetrated in the throat.

Sure, fair enough. And number two, the cervix. Perfect. And also, I'm into vaginal gaping, so hit the bullseye, win a prize, I guess. Second from the bottom, what's another favorite of yours? Oh, I just like vanilla sex. It's just been so... Oh, you probably think I'm a prude from this reading.

Vanilla cervical sex. Hey, Boots. Yeah? Can you tell me a little bit about... I'm sorry. When the name speaks for itself. Sorry. I know. It's a great bit. All the name speaks for itself. Sorry. I know.

It's a great video. All right. Wait, wait, wait. Wait. Be fair to the listeners. Hey, Boots. Yeah? Can you tell me about Big Daddy Rhino?

Oh, that's me. Hey, hey. Do you want to hear something super surprising? Big Daddy Rhino's gay. Wait, what the fuck? Verified? What the fuck does verified mean? That's what you know.

It's like, you know, it's like a famous person on Twitter. He's actually a rhino and actually a father. It's the picture of them being a giant rhino. Yeah, I'm the real, real Big Daddy Rhino. Oh, good, because I've been real Big Daddy Rhino. Oh, good, because I've been following Big Daddy Rhino 1 this whole time. Yeah, I'm a male guy. I'm a Rhino-orc. Okay.

Anyway, you just want to know a little bit about me, right? Yeah, what are some of your favorite custom fetishes? Oh, do you want to, you know, just a general overview? Oh, right? Yeah, what are some of your favorite custom fetishes? Oh, do you want to, you know, just a general overview? Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Give me a general overview about you, please. Yeah, hey, everyone's just so busy and tired. Thanks for joining me, Daddy, right now.

Oh, my God, these favorites. Oh, my fucking God. Anyway. So what are some fetishes that you're really into? Okay, yeah So, uh You know what, we've started with the turn-ons Boots, we've started with the turn-ons

I'm sorry, Big Daddy Rhino I should never turn up the opportunity To say Big Daddy Rhino Big Daddy Rhino We've started with the turn-ons Let's try to go for some turn-offs Any specific things That are a big no for you? Yeah Big Daddy Rhino, we've started with the turn-ons. Let's try to go for some turn-offs. Any specific things that are a big no for you?

Yeah. Okay. How are you? Fine. Any specific... No, no, no. People saying, how are you? I tend to dislike this question. Hey, hey, hey, Big Daddy Rhino?

Yeah? How do you feel about Sir? Sir? I fucking hate it. do you feel about Sir? Sir? I fucking hate it. Can you elaborate on that at all? Yeah, this is a hell no. Don't do it. I will not net you.

I'm sorry. Thank you. All right. Well, those are pretty much your no's. But do you have any specific favorites? Any specific favorite fetishes? Oh god, yeah, I love Bubble Rump. Bubble Rump.

Bubble, bubble, bubble Rump. She likes the Bubble Rump. I couldn't tell from that your avatar there. Yeah, I hate to interrupt, but are we going to go back to the nose at any point? Because I just don't want us to pass over grammar Nazis spelled G-R-A-M-M-E-R

oh my god I didn't even see that I thought we were all leaving it alone out of deference to Kelsey Grammer if you are a bunch of Nazis that are also Frazier I have no part in this If you are a bunch of Nazis that are also Frazier, I'm no part of this.

I understand this. Honestly, Adolf. Alright, I'm also really big into butt humiliation. Into what humiliation? There's a footnote that doesn't go anywhere for that. Into what humiliation? Yeah, that's currently my best sex kink. You can humiliate me however however, using your butt. Be humiliated.

I don't know that I can. You can be forced, rimming, face-sitting, and so on. No scat. Sure. Demonic cum. It's the act of being yifted by cum as it flows Out of you, foring itself back Into you, mind of its own

I like this new direction for the Wolfenstein series Hey, why not Uh, honey Pardon? Yes, honey Yes, dear That was a great movie Honey is perhaps one of

His His biggest turn-ons That was a great movie. Honey is perhaps one of his. His biggest turn-ons. Cover my rump in it. Or my whole body in it. Honey. Honey. All right. Yeah, honey.

Yeah. Come, golem. Come, golem. Expresses an interest in characters are made at least in part with semen, especially formed with magic. This guy's really gay.

Cumbi's well known for protecting his real expanse. Wait, what? Play along, dammit. Would cum golems be called semen? Oh, damn it. I'm sorry. No, you're not.

I know, I'm not. I'm lying. Anything else? Anything else at all? Any favorites? Getting written on. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Hey. Tiger print undies.

Love to wear them. I love these Relatively so Tame kinks I want to be forced With cum so hard I explode And I kind of like briefs They're nice Also this one used to be on here

But you're not going to see it But I'll tell you about it anyway Crowning Also, this one used to be on here, but you're not going to see it, but I'll tell you about it anyway. Okay, what's that? Crowning. No, don't say, don't, don't, don't, stop talking. Stop talking forever. You don't want to know about crowning? You don't want to know about the act of shoving one anus along the other's head?

Or snort down their neck to the point where they can't push the other off as he's forced to accept his new royal role to the other. Oh, it's happening to my ears! I hate it! I hate it! So many people are, like, really turned off by queefing. They're really bothered by it.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Big Daddy Rhino. Yeah. I'm a cum golem, but I have long hair on men. What do you think? No. Don't care how many and masculine you are, long hair is a massive turnoff. Wow.

No. No. Soft cum facials? But, you know, I got some soft things I'm into. Oh, okay. Yeah. Cum milking, cum marking, and cum enemas. Enemas?

I have a question. What hyper things do you say yes to? Yeah, hyper voluptuous, hyper balls, hyper cocks, and hyper muscle. Those are all Japanese fighting games. It's just like that. I like both multiple genitalia and multiple orgasms. Oh. Yeah.

Wait. What are you into besides pegging photography and videotaping and prehensile cocks? Plot twists? Yeah. That's pretty good, right? Oh, shit. Okay. Okay. Oh, God. He's into humor and comedy. Oh, shit. Okay, okay. Oh, God, he's into humor and comedy.

We're enabling another one of them. I'm a maybe on onomatopoeia. Scorch. Sclap. God, some of these... As far as onomatopoeia, my feeling is meh. In addition, he doesn't know how he feels yet on steampunk and World of Warcraft. As far as Onomatopoeia, my feeling is meh.

In addition, he doesn't know how he feels yet on Steampunk and World of Warcraft. You know, World of Warcraft? That's not even a custom one. That's in this thing as a fetish. Yeah. Really, Lemon, does that really surprise you?

While speaking that, I connected. I'm also maybe on coercion and blackmail. What is realistic cum? What does that mean? Yeah, that's what I was wondering that too. Like, is it when after it fucks you, it doesn't call you back? Well, I would like to point out that

he marks cum enemas as an emphatic yes, but enemas as a no. Yeah, well, I mean, non-cum implied there. Right, exactly. It's exclusion. If you're just gonna say a blanket, allow enemas,

that means you're allowing, like, fire enemas. Butterscotch enemas, you're allowing fire enemas, butterscotch enemas. Some of these lists are longer than others. None of them are short, though. Do all of these creeps think that they have to weigh in

on each one? I think some of these are just filled out. It's like, oh, really? Big Danny Rhino, you're not into scissoring. Please choose set 37. 35 to go. You have to address every single thing that could happen during sex. Are you into F Troop?

Because F Troop might come on. All right. I want to tell you about myself. My name is... Hmm. Hmm. Maybe it's Ryland. Sure.

Yeah, that's a ticket. Go with that. I'm Ryland. 21, male, pansexual. I mean, speak English. My species is gold duck. Oh, that's a fucking Pokemon. That's got to be a Pokemon, right? Yeah, it's a speak English. My species is gold duck. Oh, that's a fucking Pokemon. Yeah, it's a Pokemon.

Oh, where's Portex? Portex would have killed herself by now. I just like how it was like, that's got to be a Pokemon. Yeah, that's a Pokemon. Like, just that utter, like, resignation of like, God damn it.

Yeah. All right, so I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Tatosi Word Ghost. That's Weird Ghost. Probably is Weird Ghost. What species are you? Hey, that's a great question. Panther vampire, obviously. Good. A panther?

A vampire? It's panther and then in parentheses vampire. He's a vampire. 36. Male. I'm bi with a female preference. Let's let you start us off here. What would you like to hear about?

Would you like to hear about growing up, my formative years, or Screams of the Undead? Screams of the Undead. Screams of the Undead. Oh, yeah. How did I know Jack Chick would choose Screams of the Undead? Yeah, I want to go with the one that's sexier,

so Screams of the Undead. Yeah, not the Summer of Darkness. All right, so Screams of the Undead. While living in the human lands, Tettosi discovered an ancient elven tome which talked about a magic powerful item, Pyre Crystal Crest Aqua. Fuck's sakes.

Which was supposed to have... This is what you picked. This is what you wanted, which was supposed to have the power of resurrection. He devoted almost an entire year to try to track down any information about this artifact with the intent of bringing his mother back to life.

When he finally found the ancient ruins where it was located, he hired a fellow mercenary by the name of Rika Tengrof to help him retrieve it. They bonded over

how fake their names were. The job couldn't have gone any better as they managed to acquire it with relative ease and the young sorceress Rika began to fall in love with the panther. But then he couldn't stop.

It's like he had a disease. Sorry. She robbed another and another and a sister and a brother. She volunteered to accompany him back to Rodurian to witness the fruits of his labor. They arrived at the weird ghost family crypt shortly after midnight, and

after prying open his mother's sarcophagus, he placed the crown on her skeletal remains and watched as the bones began to regrow flesh and fur. But that voice that escaped her lips were not that of his mother, as the elven necromancer

Pyre Crystai hijacked the freshly risen body and began to animate the remains of his entire family. I'm just reading at this point while I'm not. Imagine some weird creepo

who's got his suit on or some ears and he's cruising the web and he's like, yeah, I can get into this with Power Crystal, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. got his suit on or some ears and he's cruising the web and he's like, yeah, I can get into this with Power Crystal, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me message this guy for boner movement. I assume this is copied word for word from some

obscure metal band lyrics. This is like the stuff you skip in video games. Like, oh, you want to read the bio of this character? Like, no, I don't. I want to play the video game. Yeah, this is the exclamation mark next to the codec entry that will never go away.

Also, I like, I really, I want to point out, I love Adam's idea that furries always put on a fursuit to go on the internet. Like, when they're cruising the internet, it's like, I gotta put on my suit first. That dick isn't gonna work otherwise. There seems to be a lot of pageantry and ceremony around it, so...

Sure, that's true. Yeah. That's sacred. Fucking, where was I? Maybe here. Rika had to almost literally carry the mail out, and he only returned to his senses once Pyre Kristai began to march towards the city. Once called home, death and destruction followed

in Pyre's wake. Her minions slaughtering people by the dozens, only for her to add to their body... add their bodies to her fel numbers. The pair joined forces with Byron, a human paladin, to help contain the damage and kill his foremother once again. What kind of boring-ass name is Byron compared

to, like, Jair Cristay? He was paired with Eddie the Human. He's a token human. Then they recruited Hubert. Lying at her corpse with tears in his eyes, vowing to simply let her rest.

Would you like to hear about the Summer of Darkness now? Hey, uh, Totosi Weird Ghost. Yeah, what's up? Um, I see that you have exactly 250 items listed in your faves and yeses combined. Oh my god! Oh my god!

Holy shit! Oh my god! I was like scrolling, and then it suddenly occurred to me and I'm still scrolling. Oh hey, you can sort by species or cum related or vaginal straight or oral sex.

I would like to point out that Totosi's feelings are a resounding maybe on Digimon, Pokemon, and Moogles. I'm sorry, did you have a question for me?

I have a question. I see you're into degradation. Yeah, absolutely. Before you got into degradation, right before you got into degradation, what were you into? Oh, I was super into cunt boys. Cunt boys, cunt boys.

You know, like, come inflation, come milking, come on clothes, and cunt boys are really some of my favorite things. I express interest in male characters that have a vagina instead of male genitals. Good. I thought the cunt boys were like a Manchester electropop band. Yeah. They're a spinoff band from Pussy Riot. They're the male version.

I'm also into nightclubs and bars. Hey, hey, hey, Weird Ghost. I have a quick question. Yeah, what's up? Cockslapping, yes or no? Cockslapping? Oh, boy. Let me go through my database. Oh, what's up? Cock slapping, yes or no? Cock slapping? Oh, boy. Let me go through my database.

Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, yes to cock slapping. Okay, thanks. Also, if you want to force me to wear clothes, that's great. No problem. No problem. There's something that I

like equally as much as forced clothes wearing, and that's forced nudity. There's something that I like equally as much as Forrest's clothes wearing, and that's Forrest's nudity. Man, he's getting it coming and going. But hey, Kumquat, he's into footgear worship. Hey, hey, hey, hey, ButtGhost, what are your feelings on

hyper things? Oh, hyper things. Yeah, hyper things. Yeah. Hyper fat, of course, is a yes for me. That's pretty great. As far as, you know, like the kind of weirder stuff, like, you know, if we're talking hyper voluptuous or hyper water sports.

Oh, God, I don't know. You know, I'm a little on the fence. However, this is a straight no. I will not accept Hyper Balls, Hyper Cocks, Hyper Muscles, or Hyper... Or... Hyper Scat!

Scat! Hey, Tetsuosey. Is Scat Levels over 9000? I'm super interested in knowing what every single item you like that begins with the letter U. Oh, sure! Sure!

Sure, let me scroll down and scroll down and scroll down. Okay, before we get there, I just wanted to point out that yeses include sexual exhaustion and sexual frustration. Those are fun. Swallowing semen. Oh, yeah, that was the other one. Sloppy seconds are a yes for me. That's pretty good. Also, tail pulling.

But, yeah, you were asking about the U's. So I've got some kinks that are U's. There's udders, undead, underwear, underwear bulges, uniforms with underwear and underwear bulges. Right. Unintelligent partners. I think you got a chance. Unintelligent partners wearing uniforms with underwear bulges.

Unusual semen. Unusual semen. There's something odd about this spooge. And ursines. The subtitle for which is bears! Bears. Fucking bears. So a really dumb bear wearing a uniform with a huge

bulge with some crazy semen as long as it's not a hyper cock that would be unacceptable I just love the I still love the tame stuff in all this it's like well I'm really into I'm yes to bukkake

and commonflation and face fucking and double penetration, but you know what's my fave? Kissing. Do you know what amazes me is that any human being has had enough time to go, well, I would have sex with a horse or a dragon. Probably a bear. Maybe not so much a panther. Not if it shits on me.

What if it had unusual semen? Oh. It is a no to Neko Mimi, so if you are a normal looking girl with cat ears and a tail, fuck that. I don't understand how anybody could be a maybe on sounding. Whether or not you're in the mood. Yeah. Okay, so I just wanted to, John, I think we got to finish this up. Yeah.

So this episode was provided by Mapled, a listener named Mapled, put together a document, and in this document there is a subtitle, sort of a summary about what this particular reading is about, in Mapled's opinion. So I'm going to read you two different subtitles. Ooh, okay. We're doing this game. Awesome. And you're just going to choose which one you want, and again, we'll have to toss you two different subtitles. We're doing this game. Awesome. You're just going to choose which one you want.

Again, we'll have to toss the other one out. Alright. Let's go for it. Your options are either Anal Crusader. The Anal Crusader rediscovers the magic of anal sex. A strong contender off the bat, but I will wait. I will reserve judgment.

The other option is, Niato, train from birth to eat shit. Oh, God. I really cannot chew. That's something only a penis comes up with. And not a brain. Okay. Okay.

Make a decision. Anal Crusaders. I gotta go for it. Anal Crusaders. Yeah, so you're the Anal Crusader. Okay, well, yes. I didn't reveal my secret identity yet, but... Tell me about yourself, Anal Crusader.

It has been long since the beginning of time that the anus was not used very much for sexual purpose, only for getting rid of waste. But now, with the increase in perversion over the centuries, the anus is now known as the Holy Grail for a true sexual experience. Oh, God, Pat Robertson was right! And to help deliver that wonderful experience that all

love it up, the filthy shithole, is none other than the Anal Crusader! I don't think I like you, Anal Crusader. Anal Crusader, how many times should I have butt sex with my girlfriend? Finally! A hero for our age.

As many times as you can. Tell me more. He is not trying to mimic a superhero in any way, shape, or form. Sure. His one true desire is to have his large member engulf and milked of all

the baby batter by all dirty butt slut that need a good ass-pricking. Oh. So you just got a bunch of keywords you need to just arrange in place. Now, I know what you're all thinking. What would make the anal crusader happy?

What would make him happy? Nothing makes him more happy than watching a delicious brown star smear hot, slimy mess of anal juice all over he-member. That makes you happy, does it? Now he will lick, smell, spit in, plow, gape, suck on, and worship all the delicious round-ass and butthole that come his way. All that he asks is over percent sign 90 of the intercourse is anal. What's your...

Anal Crusader, what's your... Because I don't think you've really laid this out explicitly enough for me. What's your purpose? Has it not been clear so far? No, it really hasn't been too coy. His purpose is to serve your nasty anal nymph need. Oh. Oh, I had it way wrong.

With mine? That was the best part of the Greek myths. You know, there were the wood nymphs and the other nymphs and the anal nymphs. I thought the anal crusader was trying to claim my asshole for Christendom. What is that sound I hear from that butthole? Robin Hood has returned from the assholes. Whoa! Oh, God! Robin Hood has returned from the assholes. Whoa. Oh, God.

Somebody, did you drop the mic at him? No, that wasn't me. You knocked my headset off with that joke. I do like the idea of an anal nymph, though. It's like, the wood nymph comes, it's like, heed, fair stranger. Come, and then the anal nymph comes out and is like, look at my bottle. Back to the anal crusading. Yeah, right.

As long as no scat, blood, gore, heavy BDSM, pregnancy, or anything hyper is involved, he will dine on your asshole. Like it's his last meal. No scat, but I will fill a sentence with the words brown, hot, slimy mess, and anal juice.

Yeah, yeah. I love everything about butthole, except the poop. Oh, yeah. I'm going to shove it deep. What is it? Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. You're gross. You're gross.

All he asks is that you confirm with what you are capable of compiling. It's not a word I expected to say. Oh, I see. It's a misspelled word. I thought I was suddenly going to put some code in here. What you are capable of compiling with as far as his kinks are concerned. Wow. Some things are quite negotiable to talk about, and it will make both

him and his partner's RP a lot more clearer. He is indeed heavily bisexual, but definitely does not receive any type of penetration. This poor, heavily bisexual man does not receive any type of penetration.

Please. Well, no. To be fair, that's not what heavily is modifying. He's a giver, guys. He's just very heavy and bisexual. Ladies and gentlemen, open your assholes. Oh, yeah. I'm going to shove it so deep in your asshole.

You feel it in your tonsils. It's like, yeah, but what about if I penetrate you? No, that's gross. What do I look like? That doesn't feel good. Why would anybody do that? Oh my God, boobies. Ew.

He does all the stretching of the stink holes and it won't happen to him. If you want to lick his ass, perfectly fine. But putting something in him is not going to happen. Oh God. I don't want to hear any more from you. But wait. I have so much more butt-related things to happen. I don't want to hear any more from you. But wait, I have so much more butt-related things to say.

I don't think I do. Skip a paragraph. Okay. No, you don't want to skip a paragraph. No, you really don't. Because that goes straight to feet. Okay, let me just read that one sentence.

Please. Okay. Also, aside for the Crusader, absolute adoration of the rear end. His second love is feet, feet,

feet! Yay! Come on down to Anal Crusader's feet barn. He will do anything to or for feet. He'll approve

a car loan. He'll do your homework. The greatest tragedy about this is that we don't get his fave list. Yeah, that is a tragedy. I wonder... Actually, you know what, though? You could just look at the guy who was trained from birth to eat shit

and it would be the same fave list. I just picture his fave, maybe, yes or no list just being like, anal, and then like a million A's, and it goes over every list. Then at the end of the no list, it's just anal. No is anal from you. Right. All right, so another fun... Why fun is such a weird word?

Anyway, another thing that exists on the F list that you can do is you can take out ads for yourself that you want to role play, a little bit about myself. It's like a personals ad, but somehow even more depressing. I like long walks on the beach

and dicks the size of buildings. So here's a few personal zads that Mapled found. So, I would love for someone to let me lick their feet. Don't care if you were just

working out and want to stuff them in my face. Or even shrink me down to put me in your socks while you do work out, just PM me if you're interested. Thanks. Hey, uh, hey everybody, I'm Cole69. Hey, Cole69, woo! That name means sex or something.

Hey, everyone, what's up? So, hey, everyone. I'm looking for someone interested in playing my mother or older sister in a scene. I have been interested, and please PM for detail. Thanks. No cops. Yup. My name is Dimitri Dormatz.

One and tired, this 50-year-old small-town sheriff was already sick of the bullshit and had the power to do something about it. Standing dead on nine feet tall with a permanent disability scowl engraved upon his rugged face. With a cigar hanging from the right side of his mouth and faded golden eyes. A true redneck. He'll follow whatever tastes and desires he wants without regards for social customs.

And what most might call appropriate behavior. This lecherous 50-year-old wolf male. Wait, why did you trip there? I don't understand. Because of this lecherous 50-year-old wolf male

seeking a little fun to blow off some stress. You know, take a look at Dimitri Dormatz and see if there's any of these scenes, ideas of this old

corrupted sheriff interest you. Not so much, no. I like that your favorite is begging, though. It's one of your favorites. Please help me. Hey, Dimitri.

What's that? Can you tell me, what's your favorite kind of facial? I have many types of favorite facial. Let's see. What's your favorite, though? Your favorite type of facial.

Control-F-ing facial. Dimitri is into hard-come facial. Hard-come. What's your opinion of other facials? Oh, Dimitri is into hard cum facial. Hard cum. What's your opinion of other facials? Other facial being like a soft cum facial. That's a yes. That's a yes. Hard cum.

What's your favorite kind of hookup? Oh, you know, instant hookup. I like that, too kind of hookup? Oh, you know, instant hookup. I like that, too. Dimitri, what tightness level do you prefer? What's your favorite tightness level? Oh, if I'm thinking of tightness, I'm thinking extreme tightness, bro. Hey, Dimitri, is there anything that you're not sure about? I'm sure. uh, sure.

Like, what are your maybes? You know, I'm a maybe on death and transformation, you know, like turning into something else. That's a maybe for me. God, do you just, does this live in, like like a banner ad or something? Yeah, you know, I also am into a yes for cum from nose and mouth. Which is

the act of giving anal or vaginal sex and subsequently ejaculating with such force. God! And or by such high value that a cum leaks and or sprays from the bottom's mouth and or nose. Oh no, your accent! Oh no!

I like that. That was so horrible. It knocked you back a country. Hey, one more question for you, Dimitri. Crutch sniffing. I remember you saying that you had three favorite types of partners. What are your three favorite types of partners. Oh, so... What are your three favorite types of partners? Oh, my favorite would be, you know, inexperienced partners, intelligent partners, and very

experienced partners. Ah. So just nowhere in the middle. No, I don't like it when people think they know and they don't know. Hey, Dimitri, Dimitri, if you were going to talk about yourself from a first person, second person, or third person perspective, what's your opinions? Oh, you mean my role?

You know, I am not so much into first person roleplay perspective or second person, but, you know, I'm into third person. First person? You are likely to do Get Fucked By A Groove. Yeah, Dimitri, like,

Dimitri themes and hearing Dimitri's name. Alright, uh, that's right, we were doing the various role-playing ads. Uh, come Quats up, you're Mihu, uh, you always wanted to...

You had a question? What's your question? Hello! Oh, this is where we're going with this. All right. Hello! Hi! I'm Mihu.

Who wants to lick a red panda's butthole! Oh, whoa! Ass! LFG lick a panda's butthole. Red panda's butthole. Hi. Any terrible results?

What's up? I'm terrible results. Cool. A born depravity creature is looking for scenario placement. Okay. Themes and setting

are in no way restricted, though modern fantasy or pure fantasy scenarios are appreciated. Is this written by Philip K. Dick? Yes. Androids dream of

copious pre-cum. Impregnation, disgusting face-fucking, excessive amounts of cum and corruption are wanted kinks, but nothing is off the table. It is written by Philip K. Dick. Excessive amounts of cum and corruption. Oh, yeah. Oh, that was great.

Here's a lot of money for political reasons. I like this new season of House of Cards. It cuts to the point. As I thought, he came right as I gave him the money. It always happens that way. Interested females or female herms should have a look at the profile and message away. At the end of the day, a seed-laden gangbang with you at its center

would probably suffice. Probably? Suffice? For a gangbang? Yes, contact me. Terrible results. I wish I lived at that level where a gangbang sufficed. That'll do, pigs. That'll do, pigs. That'll do.

That's R. Kelly level right there. I gotta say, terrible results, first of all, is a terrific username. But for what I imagine your sexual history is like, it's really fitting. Anyway, Stark 4. Hey, I'm Stark 4, and I'm timidly opening the door here. Looking for role play. Yes. Bye, Stark.

Bye, Stark. Close door. Knob. Okay. That's a quality ad. I think I. Bye, Stark. Close door, knob, okay. That's a quality ad. I think I'd respond to that. Yeah. My name's Tierra.

S spelled T-I-E-R-R-A-H. Tierra. Great. Hey, Tierra. Sex Mansion, the mansion sat high atop a hill in the middle of nowhere, which helped to keep those who didn't know about this place away. But why did the occupants

like the seclusion? Come pay us a visit and you might be lucky enough to find out. Maybe you don't even want to come there for the sex. There are plenty of people to cuddle up and get affectionate with. All ages, genders, and species are welcome. Everyone here at the Sex Mansion

hopes to see you soon. Sex Mansion. Sex Mansion isn't just for sex. Right. Sex Mansion the Mansion, which welcomes all people, but tries to keep them away. It's a illusion.

Sure, right? It's like how IHOP serves full dinner now. You know, it's like, you know, the pancakes are there. You don't have to get it. But they're there. Sex Mansion. Finally, boy meat.

The sex mansion is... I don't think anyone has boy meat. I can do it. I don't think anyone has boy meat. All right, take it. Not in this room. Boy meat! Hyper hung!

Shut up! I'm sorry, you scared me. What? No, that's a terrible voice. Throw it out, Tray. My name's boy meat. Hyper hung shot a male looking for mature women. Girls his

own age or teenagers who are curious if the rumors they've heard about what little Danny is hiding in those baggy shorts of his are as true or not. Every scene will be considered with female characters

but please mind the kinks. If interested, no males. Love you, boy me. Thank you, Kuhlhauser with a cold. Darn it. I like it. I like it. Trying not to sound like Kuhlhauser and it just sounded like

macro hyper that's in my yeses yeah alright I will be up for anything but you have to do a Kuhlhauser voice the whole time so what did we learn from all of this, F+,? I learned that

I've added a lot of things to my no list. Yeah, like, things that probably weren't under consideration, but you might as well put them on the no list, just in case. I learned that I have to add hyper in front of everything, and then put it on the no list just in case. I learned that I have to add hyper in front of everything and then put it on my no list. I learned that

not every form on the internet needs to be filled out. But they're so fun! Those little blue checkboxes are just so inviting. I learned that furry fetishes are actually very, very interesting, whereas previously I thought they were generally, you know generally droll and boring.

I learned that if you put a bunch of... if you put the whole range of sexual paraphilias in alphabetical order, it's hilarious. Because that puts oral sex receiving right next to pseudo-rape, and queefing, and risk of pregnancy.

I feel like these people that we read here are kind of creating this whole realm of unfuckability that I didn't know was even possible.

Because like here is a website set up really specifically to make you cum. I mean, not you, but these people. And it's like, oh, hey, you know, what's up? You're furry. You're sexually broken.

Like, show up. There's other furries. They're also sexually broken. You'll type at each other, and then you cum, and then you leave. And these people are so insanely hyper-specific and demanding that what should be knocking out of the park, it should be like, oh yeah, ten minutes, I'll get in this chat room, I'll come, I'll leave. Because there's such pains in the ass about their own fetishes, even that's not going to work for them. Hey, having a fetish is in my no list.

that's not going to work for them. Hey, having a fetish is in my no list. Do you think, like, that there is something to maybe that, like, they're imagining what a lot of this must feel like and what it must be like to experience it, and they're never ever close, and

so they have to just top their own fantasy over and over again? Sure, sure. I think so. Like, if you, if sexually you resign yourself to, well, jerking off is really where it's going to be. Yeah, I guess. Then you might as well, you know, take your dick on a little journey. My buddy. That's fine My buddy

The amount like if these people's real Like I know it's fantasy But if these people's real life Sex lives were anywhere close To like the level that they present That they've been through You know what I mean You mean if their real life sex lives existed

Yeah it would be like these huge monsters Absolutely That are just like quaking and shivering every time you see them and it's just, I gotta get home. Quaking assholes, I gotta get home. That's the thing about these people, is that they're just at the level now where they just have absolutely no shame.

You'll see it on YouTube, the furries that are into diapers or whatever, they'll just be like, yeah, here's the diapers I keep right by my computer. There's nothing. I'm not hiding anything here. Here here let me show them to you it's just like they don't fucking care they just go for it have you ever had that that point in your life uh where you're uh you're doing you like your general like uh masturbation ritual and then it's just sort of like weirdly becomes more complicated and then it just sort of, like, weirdly becomes more complicated, and then it's, like, 40 minutes, and you're like, Jesus, I need to simplify this shit.

Yeah. But these people clearly never had that, and just kind of kept, like, this is somebody that would be like, you know, like, oh, you know, in two weeks I'm gonna come, so, like, I gotta prepare. There's no impulse to, like, maybe I'll dial this back. It's always like, no, I guess I gotta keep going forward. The only way out is through. I feel like maybe I'll dial

this back is just sort of not in the furry lexicon in general. I guess not. I guess we are talking about people who shower and, no, they get up. I was gonna say they get up and shower. They get up, they put on the no, they get up. I was going to say they get up and shower. They get up, they put on the suit, they get on the internet. Yeah, exactly.

Can't get on any of the internet otherwise. There's a really good Wes Anderson movie in what you're talking about right now. I guess so, yeah. The fantastic Mr. Fursuit. He's taken off his fursuit. I think he's crying. Big thanks to Mapled for submitting this. We should have gotten to it sooner.

It's surprisingly, you wouldn't think it would be as pleasurable to read content so heavy and anal fisting. But this was definitely a whole lot of fun. Thanks, Mapled, for that. was definitely a whole lot of fun. Thanks, Mabled, for that. The website's thefpl.us for the podcast, blp.it for the forums. You should go to both.

They're super fun. Bye! Bye! Bye! Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles And warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages Tied up with strings These are a few of my favorite things There you go. Okay. I want everyone to just scroll down to the bottom. I want you to choose a name,

and we're just going to be reading one apiece of different roleplay ads that people have taken out. My name is Mihu, who wants to lick a red panda's butthole! Wait, wait, wait. I love your enthusiasm. I do.

I love it. Come quad, honey. Other people want to play F plus too.