The F Plus - 136: This Testes My Limits

Episode Date: May 11, 2014

Sometimes it's difficult to write these episode synopses, so let's do this one direct: This is the ball busting episode. Horrible things happens to balls throughout this episode, which is shorter than most. This week, The F Plus won't let you visit your dragon grandmother.

I just like to point out that it- Dragon gonads! Sorry. Make him squeal. Stomp him flat. Beneath your heel. Jack check stop. You look at your recording.

Floor to ceiling means I've covered all my bases. They're getting all of that sound. Really, it'd be cheating to give you less. So we can pass the clipping on to you. Awesome. give you less. So we can pass the clipping on to you. Boston. This is the F Plus Podcast. Your preferred location for terrible things or rev enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear.

Can a man live his life without scrotum but with his testicles exposed? Jimmy Franks. Boston makes me feel good. I am looking for an older series of stories about a console of wealthy, powerful men who create pussy boy slaves. These people are nuts. Your favorite friend, Mr. Adam Bozarth. My wife says she is perfectly happy with the way things are, and I have not functioned as a male for years.

And Lemon. Hi, I read a story a few months ago, but I forgot the name of it. If it's about a basketball game and the loser of the game gets forced to lose their balls and then we're analed by the victors? Space Jam. It's time to lose your balls now. Hey F Plus Hey Lemon How are you guys feeling?

Alright You feeling well? Good Mostly I feel complete Let me ask you what might be a personal question, or maybe not, probably not. It's usually a thing that I like to start out with, but how do your balls feel right now? Fucking wonderful.

Made of nickel? Smooth. Not so smooth. I just scratched them. They were great. Terrific. Well, that's a treat for the listener. So, do your balls, like, do you like getting kicked in the balls?

Do you think that that's super fun? No. No. I very much dislike that. Do you like when the words balls and torture are in the same sentence? No. No, that's not so much with the- Not usually in the same book.

Well, what we have tonight is two different sites. This is a rather old submission. We've been skipping over for a long time. This is from CyberVenturer. And this episode is all about ball busting. Yay! That's the appropriate response. You mean like the slang term, like I'm sort of, you know, I'm giving you crap.

No, we're talking about like, you know, taking like basketballs and squishing them, right? That's a worse guess than the previous guess. What this is about is the thing that I said earlier, which is that people having their balls hurt on purpose. Oh, there's a link between those two ideas. Yeah. I didn't just talk about that. Well, that's new and different.

And then anyway, here's the topic of the episode. So we're going to be going to two different sites here. We've got CramToad.com. Okay. And also UnicWorld.com. My dad always made us go to UnicWorld. I'm sorry, UnicWorld.org. I'm so sorry.

They're not a for-profit institution. 501-C3.org. I'm so sorry. They're not a for-profit institution. eunuchworld.org. 5-1-1-C-3. They don't make a dime. So we're going to both of these sites. We're going to look at some of the fun ball-busting topics. And, Boots, if you'll start us off here with a new twist on an old favorite. A new twist on an old favorite. A ball-busting card game by Nutball Champion.

If you want to play the ball-busting card game, probably best to not start off playing against Nutball Champion. He's a nutball wizard. This is like the Mike Tyson of ball-busting. I'm more of a referee for this game. All right, the ball busting card game, betting version. Four guys, all attired the same, my preference, boxers.

I don't know whether I'm talking about the garment of clothes or the people that punch each other. Probably both. Sit at a table to play a game of cards. As usual, each suit represents a kind of bust. In this example, hearts equals kicks. Clubs equals punches. Spades equals squeezes.

Diamonds equals knees. In addition, here's the twist, each guy is given $1,000 in cash. I know, you can take a zero off. From who? From an eccentric billionaire? So I'm guessing bust here does not mean like the Vegas betting context of bust.

I was thinking marble statues. A contestant draws the top card. If he doesn't want to receive those busts, he can wager an amount to skip them, but the other three guys combine their dollars and can outbid them. The only way he can skip the busts is to outbid the other three

guys combined. Those who win their side of the bet put their money into the pot. Strategy. Hang on to your dollars as long as you can so you can outbid the other fellas. Well, there's a strategy. All right. Yep.

I guess we're going into a scenario, but I'm not prefacing it in any way. So apparently this is also the rules. You just want to help us win. Yeah. Number one draws a two of clubs. Here's how to cheat. He considers himself lucky and takes two punches from each guy for a total of six. This is basically the game facts of ball busting.

So a two gets you six? Two from each. Do not play this game with seven people. Do not play this game with 80 people. Do not play this game with any people Do not play this game Wait, maybe if you can figure out a good way to win Number two draws an eight of hearts Kicks and thinks Hell no

So he says for $50 He wants to skip 24 kicks Ate from the three others It only costs $2 to not get kicked in the balls skip 24 kicks, 8 from the 3 others. It only costs $2 to not get kicked in the balls? No, it's $50. Man, I would be spending a lot of money in this game. But each other guy wants him out of the game,

so they want him to take the kicks, and they enjoy kicking too. So they each bid $20 for a total of $60, which outdoes his $50. So, knowing that the high-value cards in each suit are still in play, he goes for it and takes the kicks. And yes, he is very sore.

Number three draws the King of Diamonds, 13 knees from each guy. And he tries to avoid receiving his hits. So he wages even $100 to start the bidding. The other guys laugh and each put in $50 to really give it to him hard. So he raises his own $200. They put in $70, bringing it to $210. He has to realize

that if he loses over $210 in the first round, all that, all jacks, queens, and aces, and other three kings are still in the deck he tries just one more time he raises it to 250 they are not bothered to go up to 80 each so they put their 80 the pot pot and he takes the knees all 39 jesus fucking christ good so we have you know i uh i realize i'm just realizing now i don't think I want to join Skull and Bones.

Sounds like a fun organization. But think of all the math you should do. Don't like the ritual. You could be a mathlete and have your balls punched a lot. I didn't put this in the story section because it's just a busting idea, but I think it would make a hot story. Yeah. I'd like to do it in reality.

I think the object of the game is to give all the money to charity. What? Yes, clearly that's the object of the game. Come on down for the Cure for Cancer 5K Fun Run and Nut Punch Jamboree.

Yeah, sure, I'll sponsor your charity theme. What do you use, 5K, 10K? Oh, a card game where nut destruction is... And which event would you like to sign up for? Bear in mind, we're almost full on the phone. Interested in you guys' thoughts and ideas slash additions. I'm not. Oh, God.

Anybody? Anybody? No. Absolutely no idea. Nobody at all. Nobody. I'll just be here kicking myself in the nuts. Fair enough.

We're going to go to a different thread here on Cram Toad. This begs the question, so what's your method? My name is Sadistic, and my method is Cardboard 2K. That's a thing. That's kind of lightweight compared to the festival of destruction that we were just talking about.

Where like 29 things rain down for no reason. Yes. You know what? You didn't let me expand because you might be right. Use a cardboard tube that wrapping paper comes on. Place it so it traps one of the nuts on the countertop. Drop a C or D battery.

Well, then that's not a cardboard tube. That's a C or D battery. He was hiding the lead there. Yeah. Well, the cardboard tube's really the central element. What if you wanted to use a 9-volt battery? Would that fuck everything up?

Yup, a car battery. CRD! That's like saying, oh yeah, I love women's underwear because it holds women's pussies in. You know what I mean women's underwear because it holds women's pussies in you know what I mean it's like that's not that's not it you you torture yourself with batteries there's a lot of people

on the internet that would think that exact statement I know I've been doing this show with you guys for long enough this fucking fetish porn is horrible I wish it was just cardboard tube because I imagine like a rolled up newspaper like you're you know tenderly disciplining your nuts like a bad puppy. Bad nuts.

No. Get down from there. Yeah, or just like a fight with your brothers around Christmas time. Because then it turns into nunchucks, which is the best part. So after you drop the C or D battery, repeat with the other nut, alternating until no more can be taken. No more batteries can fit in the tube? Right. Correct. I need a diagram. Worst flashlight ever. nut alternating until no more can be taken no more batteries can fit in the tube right

i need a diagram worst flashlight ever my name is crushed spuds a much more painful variation on this is to buy a length of soil pipe not sure if it's called something different outside the UK. Basically, the large diameter of the pipe you use to connect toilets to the sewers. About six inch diameter. And you can usually buy

a one meter length in DIY stores. Okay, so your nuts are one meter long and six inches across. That's just the blast zone. I found that a two liter soft drink bottle fits nicely down this pipe. Not too tight, but also not so loose it can twist and jam.

You might want to put some padding on the base to spread the load out evenly. I created a support for the pipe. Yeah, because you wouldn't want it to be uncomfortable. Right. I created a support for the pipe to hold it just above my nuts when they're laid out on a flat surface. You could hold the pipe, though, if you just wanted to. Okay. Put a little bit of water in the

bottle. I'd say not much more than about 250 milliliters at first until you get used to it. Tie some strong string around the neck of the bottle, put it in the pipe and then using the string to set the depth you dare drop it from.

This is like if Rube Goldberg was a sex maniac. Rube Goldberg presents jackass. Then when you have cursed yourself enough for being a wuss and built up the courage to let go of the string, I got

to the point where I could drop it from the top with about 800 milliliters of water in. I couldn't do much more else for about 15 minutes afterwards. What about after that? What'd I do after that? Yeah. Well, I cried.

Okay. Must have been rewarding for you. Yeah, no, it was a good use of my time after I wasted so much time making the nut drop rig. What are you doing down there with that pipe? One of these days I want to get a more classy nut break pipe. Dear Popular Mechanics. Seriously. pipe. Dear popular mechanics.

Seriously, I suspect you could easily pop your nuts with this, so take care. Pop your nuts. Pop your nuts. Pop your nuts. Once you pop, you have to stop. All right. Jack Check, you are tight wrestling trunks. Yes.

Yes, I am. I tie a chain to the ceiling and hang a heavy weight from it at crotch level. So it's like a pendulum. Then just swing it hard and let it come down. Yeah. The human nut gong Yeah It's nut trap Is there somebody here who's modified one of those clown punching toys?

I'm balls to bust I like to bash them I use a 2x4 laid up right on a bar stool Balls are laid on the 2x4 laid up right on a bar stool. The ball are laid on the 2x4. The ball. The one ball. It's all a mess.

Just one big mess. I've been doing this for a while. Pretty much Play-Doh at this point. You can just mold it together. Then I hit him with a tire thumper. Mine has a steel-encased tip down about three inches. Tire thumper similar to a nightstick, in case you didn't know. I don't. I try to hit each ball separately, and I alternate balls every 20 hits.

Jesus Christ. There's really nowhere for them to go so they get the full hit. Where are you going? Where are you going? You get back here. You're not getting away from me this time. It sure makes them swell. Enjoy.

I did. Wonderful. My name's Curious Man. This works. Put a large potato in a long sock. I already did. Isn't that a Wesley Willis song? I put a large potato in a long sock.

I smashed my nuts with a tire thumper. It kicked a lava's ass. With green cheese. Tie the nuts off at the top of the sack. Put on some kind of tight underwear or spandex that holds the dick up and out of the way. Lay down on a bed on your back. The nuts will be held in place. It looks so good bulging out.

Yeah. Oh, you look so good bulging out. Okay. Oh, you look so nice, Nuts. Oh, congratulations. You're pretty. Anyway, here's your reward. Grab the sock by the top. And let the end with the potato in it hang down over the side of your bed. This will take a little bit to get the range right,

but once you do, swing it really hard and fast and it'll burn around and onto your nuts. I've got some really nice hard hits to my nuts doing this. You never know what part of the potato is going to hit the nuts. Sometimes it only hits one nut, and that can be really good. I don't do this too often, but I wish I could bring myself to do it a lot more

because it really hurts sometimes. Not so much. I like how he titled his post, This Works As If Any Of These Wouldn't Work. Listen, I Works, as if any of these wouldn't work. Listen, I found a surefire way of hitting your nuts. Well, I just can't figure it out. Tired of all those crazy ways that people say you can hit your nuts. Throw away all of your contraptions and creams.

There's got to be a better way. There's got to be a better way. Come quats. Ron, 25, please. There's not to be a better way. Come quads. Ron25, please. Hello. Hello, I'm Ron25. What is your method?

Rubber bands. All right. One more way to hurt your balls. Nancy Sinatra. This doesn't hurt the balls so much. Old blue balls, you know how it goes. Nancy. Yeah, she's old blue balls. I take a rubber band heavy enough to reach around my waist naked.

I face a doorknob, put the band over it, and step back. When it lets go, tears come to my eyes, and I get an ice red stripe across the balls! Hi, I'm also Ron25. Red stripe. Hooray, balls!

Oh, yeah. What's going on? In addition to the rat trap buster I made, sorry, I posted it incorrectly, I've made a plexiglass crusher. Go to the hardware store. Alright, are you back from the hardware store? Okay.

No, I didn't know what to do there. Buy some clear plexiglass, a couple bolts and wing nuts. Cut the plexiglass into two pieces. Drill holes for the bolts through the both pieces and insert the bolts. Now, you just put your balls between the plexiglass pieces and tighten the bolts.

Get ready for some serious aches, but be careful. This is starting to sound like a Cristo piece. Be careful. Be careful? Be careful about what? You know.

Be careful, otherwise you might hurt your balls differently than expected. Be careful. Hi, I'm Bastico. And I want to know if it is normal

to fantasize getting castrated. No! Are we done? Apparently not. I don't think so. Okay. This question is deeper than that. I love it of getting my balls tortured pretty hard.

And I've had a few really hard sessions the last two years. I can bust my nut self pretty hard till I cum, only from getting busted. Your dick is broke? I guess you know your dick is broke. Oh boy, is it. Sometimes I was coming more than once in a session, and there was nothing better of getting tortured for a whole weekend by a group of guys. Nothing.

Oh my god! However, in the last few months when I do it to myself, I do more and more fantasizing of getting castrated by a session. And not still a cut-off castration. I'm dreaming of getting tied and being helpless. What? You're not doing that already? I'm doing it now. Right now.

How's that working for you? Is it good? You like it? Okay, cool. now. Right now. That was good. You like it? Okay, cool. Okay. My nuts are getting torture for a whole week or more with all the brutal, sadistic things I've ever heard. After I long time, I beg to getting castrated

only for stopping the pain in my balls. What? I got a headache. Would somebody please cut my head off? The guys agree, but also a few days till my balls are totally ruined. Well, don't ask those guys. Of course they're going to say cut off your balls. I think you should stop hanging out with this

crowd. They're not really your friends, honey. Don't misunderstand me. I don't want to do that in real because I love my nuts. Yeah, you certainly do love your nuts. They're your best friends.

I love my nuts and the feeling when they are getting tortured. And I still want to get tortured there for many years. What the fuck? But thinking or wanking on that stuff makes me totally hot. I'm totally hard now. Only from writing about that. Is that still normal? What are you going to do about your hard-on? How are you going to take

care of it? Well, yeah, because it was normal when he started. He just wants to know after these three paragraphs. I'm going to get a whole group of guys to torch my balls for a weekend, probably. And? Where do you get these guys? Craigslist.

Yeah, alright. Kumquatsop, you are Johnny. Considering a good percentage of people are not into BB. Yeah. Ball busting. Oh. I would say it's a safe guess to say that it's not normal. But among the BB community?

Wait for it. It's not normal. Among the BB community. You know, we inside the Gestapo have a different view on the words war crimes. Yeah, so it's not normal outside the ball-busting community, but inside the ball-busting community, is it normal? I really can't tell you. I can't tell you.

Well, this is a site for answers. Yeah. Yeah. But I have heard a lot of people say they want it. And that they want to do it to other people. Sure. Oh, good. But I also heard a lot saying it's wrong, sick,

and the stupidest thing anyone could do. Well, those fucking idiots. I would say, though, if it's something you really want to do, and you have no doubts in your mind that you want this, then don't care about what other people say or think, and find someone in your general area

who will be more than happy to help you do it and do it. You know, I think people my age and this whole internet generation has to start caring what people think. Yeah! Absolutely! Yes! Yes! Absolutely! Because otherwise we're going to eat pizza to death.

Not the world, don't move to the beat. Just one drop. Takes different strokes across my balls. They were always dropping since the wound. What I'm saying is conform and be like me. Consider the most important sexual organ is the brain. Humiliation, domination, ideas,

pain itself, you feel busting your balls excite your brain, not your genitals. Then the brain acts on them. I love reading profiles on here on cram toad of people that want to pop balls. I

imagine my testicles grabbing... Wait. I imagine my testicles grabbed by a big hand and the idea of my nuts that can be popped with a... Oh, gee. Okay, third try. Here we go. I imagine my testicles grabbed by a big hand and the idea of my nuts that can be

popped when the buster really wants to turn me on i.e instant boner and pre-cum that's is that is that a side effect of smashing your balls with batteries and tubes yes it's like as soon as you get a bone, it's instant activated boner and pre-cum immediately. And pre-cum. That's the upsell. The boner button is buried deep within your balls.

What is the internet's fascination with pre-cum? It's in every single sex thing. Adam, Adam, Adam. Let me ask you a question. It is the tastiest cum. Oh, God. You didn't like that at all. I was caught off guard.

I thought I was listening to Jack, and then all of a sudden, it's the tastiest. Yes, I'm listening, Jack. Well, so, Adam, have you ever had sex? Yeah, a couple times. Okay, so then you're miles ahead of these people? sex? Yeah, a couple times. Okay, so then you're miles ahead of these people? I mean, just light years

even? Let me summarize my points. Sorry for my English. I really deserve a kick in the balls for every mistake I do. That's the way to learn and improve languages, Smiley Face. That would help me use Duolingo. Man, the

Rosetta Stone Ow My Balls edition is really... You are going to be taking your German lesson or I'll still be kicked in the schvanz? Oh, you got Miss Hoskins, huh? Oh, boy. She's a real ball buster.

She's a real penis. It's such a weird thing about masochists. It's so hard to actually punish them. Oh, yeah, I'll take that. Yeah, they're like kids with TV in their room. Don't send me to my room. All right. Jack Shack, finish this up with Ball Bust Boy.

Ball Bust Boy. Hi, man. Don't worry what is supposed to be normal or not. The concept of normality comes from a heterosexual, machist, and reproductive way of thinking. Everything that diverts from this pattern is called anormal. Even ball busting is considered anormal

because it's not a reproductive practice. Even ball busting? Even ball busting. In 2014? Because it's not a reproductive practice. Because it's not a reproductive practice. Because it's not a reproductive practice.

No, sorry. Because it's not a reproductive practice. Yeah, it is a reproductive process. So don't worry about that. You should follow what attracts you, fantasize about it, and practice all ways you want. always you want. However, ball busting and simulated castration must be a manner of extract the most pleasure you can feel but without any serious damage. Not because it would be a normal, that's not the question.

But through this practices, you should produce life, joy, and pleasure. Life comes out of my balls every time I punch them. With the balls always in its right place, you can do it always you want it. I usually fantasize about to be castrated or castrate other guys, though the most painful methods. I think it's an amazing way to come. You're wrong! You're wrong!

an amazing way to come. You're wrong! Well, I mean, if we look at the base definition of the word amazing, that is an amazing way to come. I am amazed that makes you come. Jimmy Franks. By which I mean Cram Frog.

That must be the Cram... Wait. No, it's Cram Toad's website. So... Oh, God, this is like a Frog and Toad are friends kind of thing. Mr. Toad said Mr. Frog.

I'm Cram Frog. Yes. Oh, good. All right, so tell me about your first time getting kicked. It was my freshman year in high school. And we were rehearsing for the annual spring play. We had one eighth grader in the play.

I was 16, he was 14. When we weren't rehearsing our lines, the underclassmen and I would go off into the corner and just goof around. We were both standing on a set of steps that lead up to the stage. He was a few steps above me, so I pretended to punch him in the nuts. I wouldn't do that if

I were you, he said. Then he kicked me dead on the nuts. I was shocked. I hadn't expected him to just nail me like that. I was just pretending to punch him. And he full-on kicks me. Remember, he was a few steps above me on the stairs, so his kick was right on target. The next day at rehearsal, we were both playfully fighting over a prop.

So you're still friends with this guy? All right. Yeah. After a few seconds of playing tug-of-war with this prop, he kicks me in the nuts again! Plot twist! Hey, I don't think you were ever friends with this guy,

Cram Frog. Eventually I caught on to a pattern. Hey, you wanna come over and watch Captain America? He obviously won that battle. Yeah, obviously. I don't know. I don't think he did. For weeks, I continued to take more kicks and punches to the nuts.

Jesus. I came to witness him kicking many of our classmates in the balls. We later became best friends, of course. So he won the war. Of course, I still got kicked into jewels for years to come. Wow, you got totally friend-zoned by the guy who kicks you in the nuts, though. It's like a Kindle porn alternate universe where the popular dudes kick people in the nuts all the time? Yeah, he's 16 and he's letting himself get kicked in the nuts by a 14-year-old.

Yep. Like, at that age? Yeah, this is... What's your point? He could drive a car! On to his nuts! Or away, just away! Do you know how hard it is to drive a car

over your own nuts Yeah, with that attitude Just put a sock in a potato Yeah, get some rigs I'll tell you what to buy at the DIY store So the last piece that we have here Is called A Dragon's Pride

Jack Chick will be reading this children's rhyme, but first I want to tell you a little bit about it. A Dragon's Pride is a children's rhyme sung by the dragons in the North Reaches who live in a matriarchal society in which the males are subservient to females. Both sexes spend most of their time in the nude. Dragon.

And as a result, sexuality is in no way taboo in northern dragon culture. Northern dragon culture. Is this real? So, I'm guessing these dragons are gonna have their balls on the outside. Is this southern dragon culture on the skids?

Was that what the lizards do? Oh, boy. Lizards keep all the genitals on the skids. Was that what lizards do? Oh, boy. Lizards keep all the genitals on the inside. Yes. Okay. Alright. The male gonads in particular are seen more as play things

than anything else. Females are taught from a young age. Females are taught from a young age to kick, punch, slap and otherwise abuse the testicles of males for their own amusement and pleasure. By who? Sound familiar?

It will in Hillary Clinton's America. Vote Ted Cruz, 2016. The Rhyme Below is about ball busting in general, but it's also more specifically about mating. During the Northern Dragon mating ceremony, one of the male's testicles is popped to show his dedication to the female and to prove that he has not been mated

before. If he had, he'd only have the one nut left. Happy Valentine's Day. Oh, God. I got you a present. Jesus. I've had a long, drawn-out process with the female abusing her male pals over several days.

Perfect. Fantastic. Finally takes mercy and destroys one. Consummating the mateship. That's how. Okay. Holy one. If the male is ever,

if the male is ever unfaithful, the female is entitled to crush his remaining nut as she pleases and thus leave him a eunuch unable to mate again. You know, you know, I, I've never, I've never seen the show.

So I've never known what this Dragon Ball cartoon is about. I've missed the first episode, so this might be it. Okay, so that was the preamble. Jack, check if you'll give us our children's rhyme. Absolutely. Do you want to lead me in? And now, on with the craziness. I just like the point that it says the words children's rhyme.

This is a children's rhyme. For children. Children's rhyme. This is how you teach. Dragon children. Dragon children, yeah. That's important. Dragon gonads, make him squeal. this is how you teach dragon children dragon children yeah that's important dragon gonads make him squeal

stomp him flat beneath your heel watch him quivering in pain as he tries so hard in vain to save those precious dragon eggs that hang defenseless tween his legs crush those fragile orbs

once more and listen to his frantic roar. His dragon hood is black and blue, so Papa Nut, he wants you to. Wait, you said a couple stanzas back. You said he didn't.

It's sarcastic. Oh, okay. Lemon? you said he didn't it's sarcastic oh okay uh uh uh lemon what squeeze those orbs between your claws or chew them use those mighty jaws what else you got a mouth for woman

drop that dragon to the floor bash his aching balls around sorry for. Drop that dragon to the floor. Bash his aching balls around. Sorry. Bash his aching balls around until he crumples to the ground. Then swat those orbs

a small smack or slam a kick into his sack. Now promenade. Just crush those unprotected jewels and listen how that dragon mules. Smash his gonads

into paste. Pop them both. No. That's a waste. There are limits, lady. It's still better to leave him one so he'll remember all the fun that you had bashing up his nut, the ache deep inside his scaly gut

as his ball cracked beneath your blows and finally burst between your toes. His gonad flattened with a splat. I promise he'll remember that. No dragon child has remembered all of this. Well, the thing is that they don't have to because, you know, you try to do double dutch with dragons and the wings get in the way. You get through the first

line and you just have to stop there. I've thought about this. Shel Silverstein's a dark motherfucker, man. Where the sidewalk ends with a kick in the nut. I like that he's reminded of this event by the one good ball. Just look at it wistfully. I remember when you were a friend.

Well, would you like to hear more about that? Yes. Bring it on home. And that way he'll still have one orb. One swollen sphere left to absorb. A female slaps and stomps and knees. A brutal kick and vicious squeeze. He can still help a dragoness relieve some of her pent-up stress

by offering his tender egg for her to squish and make him beg. Even with one nut, just one kick can make the strongest dragon sick. But if he ever goes astray and gets horny while you're away and

blows a load on some girl's tits. Whoa, wait a minute. Wait a minute. So if this dragon blew a load on some girl's tits. Whoa, wait a minute. Wait a minute. So if this dragon blew a load on a girl's tits, she would just be vaporized by, I'm assuming dragon cum is too magical for just some girl. Well, Adam, I think you need to hear the rest of the rhyme. Okay.

Because this, I don't know if you're familiar with the concept of the rhyming scheme, but this is what's known as couplets. That doesn't answer my question about a dragon blowing his load on some girl's tits.

Yeah. Right? I mean, like, unless dragons have tits, do they have tits? Would a mortal human be able to handle a dragon load?

That's what I'm saying. Did I get tricked into reading some horrifying furry ball busting thing? Is that what's going on here? I don't know anymore. Tricked into. Yes. I'm pretty sure dragons exist. Hey, wait a minute. You made me

regrow shit. What the fuck? I expected a higher caliber of content on this F plus podcast. I thought this was just anthropologically interesting. I thought we were talking about dragons, not dragon dildos. So,

and he blows his load on some girl's tits. He can say goodbye to his bits. Just grab his ball and do your worst until you feel that gonad burst. Bite and swallow in one gulp or grind his nut into a pulp.

Let him know his dragonhood has finally been destroyed for good. Every male dragon has his junk. Those dragon makers full of spunk. That dangle so defenselessly and just waiting for a female's knee. So slam your foot into his stone knee.

Oh my god, it's still going. Listen to his tortured moans. A male's proper place, you see, is curled double in agony. I agree. So watch as that dragon falls, your toe claws buried in his balls. Gross. Oh my god. Is that what they're doing on Malatorra?

Yeah, but you know, they don't, well no, because they don't feel pain. So I think that it wouldn't really work. Just be like, you know, oh, kicking you in the balls. That's cool. You know guys, to be fair, I think that is the single best dragon ball busting poem that we've ever read on the podcast. I'll say that it scanned okay. It wasn't complicated writing, but it didn't waver from its form. Yeah, there were some lines that were rhythmically suspect.

Yeah, the rhymes were pretty solid. I guess. Yeah, I mean, who would have ever thought to rhyme junk and spunk before? Millions. So, what the fuck did we learn from any of this? That I'm not to do this.

That's a cautionary tale. I will now eye people buying large quantities of potatoes and socks. What are you doing there, Home Depot? Stop that. Cut it out. They may be actually wanting a knee. Oh, good. Oh, you found a tumbler of ball-busting poetry.

This whole thing is this weird, elaborate dance around the idea of just destroying a testicle. Making it pop, just having it reduced to just total mush. God, that's weird. It's so...

Because one of the things that I find confusing about it is, like, it's like, okay, so clearly you must hate your gender or your body. I mean, you know, whenever you take heavy or sharp implements to your own

genitals, you know, you're saying something sharp implements to your own genitals, you're saying something about your own gender assignment. They seem to love that they have it so that they can experience that pain. That's the thing that I cannot fucking understand at all. I can't understand it. Well, with so much of the stuff that we encounter here, half of it it's hard to tell if it's just to put on, or, like, I really like hitting myself in the nuts. It feels good to have that sick feeling

that is unique to taking a strike to the scrotum. Sure. I mean, we understand that the Internet is a perversion accelerator, so it takes the perversion that you have anyway and amps it up. Because it is a very unique sensation. It's not like tooth pain when you get struck in the nuts. No, you're absolutely right. It's unique. It's the worst pain a man can feel besides a woman getting his job or something.

pain a man can feel besides a woman getting his job or something. I'm all for it. I'm glad that these guys are smashing themselves in the penis. If they're all for it, they're not using it. It's not going to hurt anybody except themselves, and that's great with me.

I used to be one of these people that really liked people, but now that I see what they write and how much they lie... Oh, God, what did we do to you? No, things were hunky-dory for me. I don't know if you could tell. I'm so sorry. I became a comedian because I love making people laugh.

Right, yeah. You just wanted to be around them. Not because I'm damaged but because it's i love bringing joy to people and that's it turns out you should have been stomping on their nuts this whole time yeah if you want to bring real joy into their life yeah i should have been doing what people were doing to me just just travel the world like kane from kung fu have you heard the good news just travel the world like Kane from Kung Fu from the word have you heard the good news

do you guys mind sharing probably the worst time you ever got struck in the nuts because I have one but it was like one of those things where like it was a day in college and that's when the most nut striking I think happened I was with my friends

some roommates from my dorm room and we were at Walmart because we had to pick up supplies and somebody grabbed something off a shelf and he's like oh hey look at this look what it says here and then as I'm like looking at small print on like some medicine can he just like swats me right in the balls and I collapse

and everybody runs away giggling I think we should stop talking about this, because right now we are turning on these people. How unusual for what we do on this podcast. Yeah, and if you got turned on by Adam Bosa's story about getting punched in the balls, check out Ball Pit. And what's that website?

That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T. Goodbye. Bye. Bye.