The F Plus - 143: Harry Potter and the Weekend Seminar

Episode Date: July 13, 2014

Have you ever thought to yourself "Man, I wish a pagan would come up to me and talk to me about how their religion works"? Well, that's a service you're gonna need to pay for. This is Wizard at Large Consulting, a company which.... uh.... you know, there's cleansing and reiki and stuff. This week, The F Plus is trying to avoid calling Nazi Christian Spiderman.

Hello, I'm a high elf with the shroomery, and I like to put mushrooms in my elf butthole. Welcome to the F+, a place that explores terrible things red with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. Do you feel yourself drawn to the deep blue twilight blue of the wizardry department? That is indigo, a color on the cusp between day and night. John Toast. I discovered that menards often have sails with 7x9 foot segments of heavy floor carpet. I got one that is neutral colored

and was able to use red duct tape to design the special temple symbol on it. Jesus. Isfahan. This class explores many of the more popular traditions surrounding the life and adventures of one of our world's most famous and powerful wizards, Saint Nicholas. Santa Claus.

Kumquads up! Required materials. A kitchen timer with accuracy to the minute. Students must be concurrently enrolled in the class Harry Potter 101. Welcome back from an episode from quite a ways ago. Let's welcome him back, JT. By the time you finish this class, you will have explored the life, accomplishments,

and wisdom of famous wizards who lived during the age known as the Modern Era. And Lemon. The class will also cover some Jedi philosophy, religious aspects, and hands-on techniques that Jedi Knights can use. Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hi, Lemon.

How is everyone doing? I'm doing metaphysical. Wow. I'm astronomical. How prescient. I'm synergistic. I'm a muggle. So, did you know that there are things in this world that science can't explain?

No. Yeah. Like the fact that ghosts are real and are in your butt, but that's not our episode. Our episode is about Wizard at Large Consulting. Wizard at Large Consulting is a woman with a questionable, well, I would say the exact

method of graphic design that you would expect from a woman that calls herself Wizard at Large Consulting. And she has a website and for fees, sometimes large, sometimes small, you can have the mysteries of the universe explained to you among pictures of dragons. Awesome. Does that sound great?

That sounds amazing. How do I sound like what the internet is for? That's terrific. So this whole site is massive. It is really big. It is really big. And so we're going to start with the frequently asked questions, which is also really, really, really long. And it doesn't ask any of the questions I would be asking.

But they're frequently asked. Yeah, so other people are asking. You're always just thinking outside the box, really. I'm not the customer. You march to the beat of your own drum. That's true. So Isfahan, I'm going to ask you some questions, I'm not the customer. You march to the beat of your own drum. That's true. So, Isfahan, I'm going to ask you some questions if I could. Okay. What is wizardry?

I'm sorry, wizardry. What is wizardry? It's a video game system for the PC. No, okay. Wizardry, magic with a K, sorcery, witchcraft, shamanism, hoodoo. These are all lumped together.

Hoodoo, chunky, chunky, choo-choo. Rather inaccurate. Wait, so you lump them together and then I'm complaining about how inaccurate you lumped them? Yeah, well, these are all lumped together rather inaccurately. Accurately lumped them together. That's a completely different fact. Yeah, that's the only way that part could be better is after rather naturally it said, the end! Some people put magic before wizardry

and they're fucking idiots. Yeah, come on now. But they all deal with the accessing and working with unseen forces in one way or another for a variety of end results. Oh, okay. Yeah, since we're getting into specifics already. I prefer the

word capital W wizardry as it is the term we used at the Gray School. Okay, hopefully that's another question. To describe the study and practice of magic as an art and science stripped of any religious aspects. Do we need to point out that magic is spelled with a K here? I think that word is going to show up a lot. We can just assume. If you see magic that doesn't end with a K, please point it out. They have to differentiate somehow between actual magic and the card game.

That's true. Magic is usually capitalized also. I like that they've managed to strip science of the religious aspects. Yes. When you take science and you take out all the religious stuff, all you're left with is magic. Anyway, the headmaster, Oberon Zell Ravenheart... Real name, I'm sure. Yep. Hey, that's my MMO character name.

It's his Christian name. Come on now. Says that a wizard is not a priest or representative of any church or religion, but an adept or expert in the realms of magic, arcane or

secret lore, mysticism, philosophy, and knowledge in a wide variety of areas, and apparently that has a work cited. I'm going to say something that I probably will say many times.

Skip two paragraphs, please. Okay, okay. One, two. How do we pronounce that? Holy shit! Oberon Zell Ravenheart has a Wikipedia page! Yeah. Alright. I do we pronounce it? Holy shit, Oberon's Ravenheart has a Wikipedia page. Yeah. All right. I wonder who wrote it.

I believe magic generally is real for everyone, but not everyone is able to recognize it. I acknowledge karma, genetics, and upbringing all play a role. But as long as life exists, so does magic. We can't see the air we breath, yet it is there. Semicolon. We can't sense the radio waves, but can listen to radio. Another semicolon. Our subconscious always interacts with spirit, capital S spirit,

yet we may not be in tune with it. From what I understand, magic is easiest to touch with what has been nicknamed our reptile brain. The right brain is also important. Oh, oh, wait, then what is the reptile brain? The left brain in this metaphor?

The brain is a triangle. Okay, so there's left, right, and rear. Okay, so the reptile brain is the key to this. I'm gonna fuck and or eat this magic. I'm surprised none of us made a Mortal Kombat joke. Most of the spells we read about in that other episode were about making food, so, you know. If I remember my hypnotherapy training correctly... And you do.

Or do you? If you can't remember hypnotherapy well, then the person teaching you must have been really good. Well, you remember your hypnotherapy as a chicken. Most people who can't connect to their magical imagination may have emotional, mental, or other kinds of blocks in the way. See, the people who don't believe in magic, they're the crazy ones. Sometimes you just have to find the best way to create a connection. A friend of mine finally succeeded by listening to music with the Schumann's Resonance. Oh my god. Tell me about his gear.

Wait, like Ben Schumann? No, spelled differently. Not Ben Schumann. Spelled differently. Maybe with Harry Potter, the next generations will be more open and magic will be easier to sense by all. Oh, Jesus. Jesus Christ.

It's like how all those Anne Rice novels made people think they're real-life vampires. That happened. That did definitely happen. Yeah, I remember high school. It really made them great people. It led to a great movement from that. Real cool people shave their teeth. Exactly.

All right, so this sounds great. I want to talk to your representative, your sales associate, Boots Reingear, if I could. Mm-hmm. Yeah, certainly. Boots, what are the basic fees? Oh, the basic fees, yes. You know, magic doesn't come free. Obviously.

Yeah. Yeah, we have several services and products available for you. It's not like religion. No. Right. And it's not like air or radio waves. Those don't come in free. Okay.

So the services, you know, in general cover around 60 minutes. Okay. Though a session may go over a bit. Classes are $25 for a two-hour class, which apparently could go 60 minutes. What the hell? I don't know. God damn it. All right.

Hey, magic. The services cover, the services are about 60 minutes. The classes are two hours. So the first half of the class is a service. The second half is a disservice. Sure. Break even.

Much of what I do will be taught in classes, although I highly recommend to potential wizards the Grey School of Wizardry. Oh, alien wizards. Right. Yes. Group explorations are a $5 donation requested per night. Oh, God. This is different from a class

in that it will be an ongoing over time, whereas a class will have a definite end point. There will be material taught, but it is more of a group exploration of a subject where I act as a facilitator. Wait, we're having one right now. So some hippie lady talks to you about her bullshit, but the difference is that you have to pay for it. Yeah. I don't know what you mean by bullshit, because I also offer animal Reiki. Alright, well...

These will be house calls. It's $40 an hour plus $5 to $10 extra if I have to drive more than 20 miles one way. Only for the animals. Also note that if you live on the other side of the planet, it will still only cost you an additional way. So what are the odds she lives within 20 miles of someone who wants her services? Also note that if you live like on the other

side of the planet it will still only cost you an additional five to ten dollars. Yeah. And it's one way so if you pay for her to come she's staying.

Yay! Oh my god. For forty dollars an hour she will hold her hands slightly above your pet. Yeah. And then I'll improve

the energy in the vicinity of your dog. I think your ferret was a mason in his past life? I think? Maybe his name was Mason. Give me another hour here. So what other services does he offer? So many comments on our site about

that's not what Reiki does. Energetic health and clarity work includes Reiki chakra middle pillar and dragon path work 40 an hour all right uh wait wait what if i say like okay i want a class but i want it to be about one of these things can i say 15 bucks yes yeah all right sure You found a loophole. Yes. Awesome. Guided visualization to remove obstacles to connecting with your inner fee slash male. Female. Or male. What?

To help you in your relationships. $40. Oh. Okay. Guided visualizations to release other obstacles. $40. Boy, I gotta say, I'm not really super into any of this list yet. Like, I'm just, I'm not on the hook.

I'm sorry. Remove one obstacle from your hurdles race. No, I'm sorry. I know what you're talking about. It just doesn't personally interest me, Lemon. Oh, okay. Well, here you go. There's the Himalayan Singing Bowl Sonic Stress release session.

Oh, all right, then. Oh, sweet. Yes, $30 for a 30-minute session in the office. Okay, you know what? I have more money. Oh, alright then! Oh, sweet. Yes, $30 for a 30-minute session in the office. Okay, you know what? I have more money. Oh, okay. Anything else? Yeah, there's the Himalayan Bowls Pathworking Plus Energy Work Intensive.

Oh, intensive. Yeah, that's only an additional $10. It's $40 and you get 60 to 70 minutes of it. Wow. Himalayan Bowls, huh? What the. Wow. Himalayan bowls, huh? What the hell is a Himalayan bowl? What else do you offer? House cleaning.

No, no, no. House cleaning, both blessed and protecting style. It is house cleansing. Oh, sorry. Oh, wow. Shit. I wanted it to be house cleaning so much. I know, I know.

Well, that really does mean that. It's true. House cleansing, blessed and protecting. This will be done free of charge. I just asked for a dark chocolate bar.

And if you choose to donate for gas, I'll accept it. I consider this an emergency. Now I know why it's called Wizard at Large. I was going to say, I think we'll have to

bring back that tag that's like shit that goblins do or whatever that is. Yeah. I'll clean your house with chocolate! Anything else? Oracular consultation. $40 an hour session when done in person. Ooh, hot. Or $15 when requested for however...

Oh, sorry. Oh. Oh. That was a different word. My apologies. Otherkin consultation is Or $15 when requested. However, oh, sorry. Oh, that was a different word. My apologies. Otherkin Consultation is only $15. Jesus. Yeah, you're totally a dragon. Where's my $15? What?

Okay, for this consultation, I will speak in the voice of your soul. What? My mother was a saint. Yeah, and $40 an hour for a wizardry consultation. I can help you through your Nintendo games. Wow. Yes. Wow.

This is great. I'm so excited. I have all these services. I'm really, really, really into this. I just wish I had some products to go with it. Can you very briefly, do you have any products at all? I have many. There's the Basic Cleansing and Blessed Kit, which is free

with any consultation or house call. Okay. There's the Colorizer Bottle, which is $10. Sure. By the way, if you were thinking that a Colorizer Bottle looks like a bottle with shitty fake stained glass glued to it, you'd be right. Yeah.

It's an old English bottle. Yeah, I was about to say, that bottle on the left looks like a 40 ounce. It is a 40 ounce. The third one. The one at the end. It's just really old English. Well, I was just about to say, the one at the end, the quote on the end of that

Snapplecap says, you're ruining your life. You're wasting it. Those finger labyrinths, or mazes. They're specially created empowered labyrinths for aiding meditation and trance work. The prices vary. The prices do not vary! I get two for one at the dollar store. The prices vary, but the two examples she has...

Are they the same? No, they're not the same one. But they're the same, like, eight-pointed star that's in a spiral. Yeah. You follow the maze with your finger. It's not too hard because there's no actual T-intersections. See, I heard finger labyrinth. I was actually imagining that she sold you a Chinese finger trap.

Those are way too inexpensive. I will charge an item for you for $25 a charging. Depends on the size and energy used. That's not a product, but okay. Yep. Handmade amulet or talisman. $15.

A handmade specific spell kit is $15. And a round table of life spell or other spell done on your behalf is $25. Can I get one with pepperoni? Yes. Ah yes,

the pizza. Table of life. I just, I love how arbitrary these prices are. Like, I get the feeling where it's like, oh, the handmade amulet or talisman, it's $15. And the person's like, well, I don't have that. I'll give you five. I'll take it! I only have milk chocolate.

Then I'll clean your house! I guess I'll cleanse this house. It's not dark, but all right. All right. You know, I said we were going to be spending a lot of time on Wizard at Large Consulting, but it is too ugly. I can't look at it. So we are going to move away from there to a related site. And so far, it's the same person.

But now it's a WordPress blog, so it's easier to look at. Okay. I'm going to start off with a choice. This is pretty early for choices, but I think we're ready. John, which of these two things would you like to read? The discovery of Christian, and Christian is spelled with an X, Christian prayer bombs and their defusal, or I figured out what I can do, finally. Huh.

So while he's deciding that, I'd just like to point out that Kumquat found an article about a koi that was healed through the power of Reiki. So thanks, Kumquat. Thank you! Oh, I'm sure this was fair and balanced research from animalreikisource.com

Yeah. That's like not even holding the hands over the animal, just holding the hands over the little pond the animal is swimming around in. He's in there. Electricity transfers through water. Yeah. Anyway, John, what did you like? The Christian bomb one. All right.

Here you go. Tell me about your discovery of Christian prayer bombs and their defusal. Well, I want you guys to know that I discovered X-Gen prayer bombs and their defusal. Well, I want you guys to know that I discovered prayer bombs and how to defuse them. Alright. Greetings and welcome to Magic and the Red Dragon.

Sorry, I fucked that up. Try it again. Greetings and welcome to Magic and the Green Dragon. Da-da-da! Da-da-da! Da-da-da! Last night was very interesting. A friend's horse was having some health issues

and I was going to send animal Reiki to him. Sure. Yet the dragon... But, like, through the mail? Already so interesting. Yet the dragon stepped in and showed me the horse was part of a religious attack. Oh no.

Oh no. Semi-colon. My friend is a leader in pagan rites through the media. What media? Grand Dragon. For a newsletter. I basically followed what the dragons told me to do as we worked together. I can believe that.

However, thanks to both her horse and the dragons told me to do as we worked together. I can believe that. However, thanks to both her horse and the dragons, we now know one important way the Extran Crazies magic is formulated and works. The Christian Crazies. Well, I've heard of them. All right. Yep. I like this culture war. I hope everybody dies in it.

So the Christians are like the bad guys in this scenario, where they're, like, praying for horses to get sick. Mwahaha, we only worship one god! If it weren't for those meddling dragons! I'm fucking sick of these Assassin's Creed games. Give me both, brother. Now, here's how they do it, alright? They're creating what I call prayer bombs, and planting them about five feet under the surface of the soil.

I only saw one under the horse, but it was strong enough to thoroughly cord the horse and grid my friend's property completely. They're more like prayer landmines if they work that way. There must have been a large group creating it with a smaller group sustaining it. The image I got was of a 12-inch diameter ball of fire that either had a face showing or a flaming cross with Bible and wings would pop in and out of it.

Those are two very disparate things, but okay. I was pretty toasted by that point, so it's hard to tell. There is something psychotropic going on here. I also thought of some Fruity Pebble waffle. Anyway. The people living on the land had also been courted and gridded. It appears the lungs were targeted. On the horse, I could see...

Oh, I'm sorry. Semicolon! Yeah. I almost forgot. On the horse, I could see why, but I do not know why on the humans. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, because if you target lungs on humans, that doesn't do anything. That doesn't make any sense.

I really like this next sentence. All right. Let's just all drink it in. With dragon help, it was not that hard. Okay, wait for it. It was not that hard to drain the sphere into a containment field and then completely shift the energies releasing them into emptiness, the Akasha, the Iliaster, and whatever else you call spirit. Of course. It starts out crazy and then it just loses its mind.

It's so easy to join. Say hello. With mushroom pancakes. It's so easy to join. Say hello. With mushroom pancakes. I like the idea that this guy kind of lives in a rural area, and he has some neighbors that are like, you know, Christians or something,

and they're like planting a garden or something, and they see this guy in a wizard hat in their backyard trying to dig up their plants, going, ah, it's a Christian bomb. Run, Gido, run! I must release it into the Akasha, the Iliaster or whatever else I call spirit. I like to think that this person says with dragon help before anything they do. This dragon's the name of a cat.

With dragon help, I ordered this latte. Don't go away from me, I need your help. Okay, I ordered this latte. Don't go away from me, I need your help. Okay, I had a Tibetan sword of Manjurushi. Manjurushi? Whatever. Okay, now this

Tibetan sword of Manjurushi. I love that Judas Priest song. Well, it had both dragons and flames on it. Oh, well. What a new form of graphic design this is. I got it from the knife store at the mall. Just beat me to it.

Do dragons and flames really go together? So I visualize the sword channeling the energies into a cosmosphere. Three-ring energy trap. That was created to contain the energies. Here's something I drew in MS Paint. That would be an illustration of a cosmosphere, I guess. I like to think that that's the Negaverse version of the time cube that he drew there. Anybody who does 3D design,

anytime you've rotated an object you've used the Cosmosphere to do that, so good job. That's how they get you. Okay. Now, here's the best part. I assume. Once in there, I used a silly plastic kid's wand that was rainbow-colored with moving

sparkles to focus on shifting, plus a Buddhist emptiness mantra and a special image I have when I want to dissolve something completely. I can't decide on which bullshit I want to add here to. No, just pile it all in here. There was

dragonic help while I did this, as I remember calling for my dragon magical teacher found in DJ Conway's second dragon magic book. Just dragon everything. There's dragon help for my dragon teacher in my dragon book. I know I would trust a mystical book from a guy named DJ Conway.

Yeah, DJ Conway shows up at the club and he only plays Clint Black songs. Now, to be fair, to be fair, the D stands for dragon. He is really hunched over that turntable. Once the ball was gone, it looks like all the cords in living beings in the land vanished. Being dragonkin,

I was told to send energy into the voids from my heart and rainbow light came out. I turned into a care bearer, I guess. What? The dragons were working on the horse and people. The dragons were working on the horse and people. This story's getting hot! They're giving them the business. The dragons were working on the horse and people. Wow, this story's getting hot! Yeah.

They were giving them the business. Wherever the source, these dragon energies were not only bringing in healing and protection, but also re-consecrating the damaged lands. Okay. Okay. It looks like, it looks like, it's so clear now, with a sword that can handle intense fire energy And dragon help, anyone can remove and shift these

To fill the void, use a kid's rainbow-colored sparkly wand Oh, it has to be that, alright It makes a lot of sense It represents a more innocent but powerful view of life Hey, pagans Find cheap gaudy bullshit I know it's going to be difficult for you.

When I think of a power, when I think of the most powerful time of my life, it was when I was a kid with a shitty toy. This woman is out in her backyard, just like traipsing through her garden, and then sees little Cindy next door playing with a wand. She's like, be careful with that!

You don't know the true power! You're setting off prayer bombs all over the place. The view of life is too powerful. She would have snatched the wand away, but she didn't have dragon help. Dragons help me take a dump. Next, you just call upon the dragons from the following picture.

Oh my god. Dragon has a 24 purple pizza power. That's an awesome stat. Yeah, I drew a really shitty Sephiroth picture from Kabbalah. Clip art did some dragons on there. It's perfect. Focus on that. Yeah, I drew a really shitty Sephiroth picture from Kabbalah and just, you know, clip art did some dragons on there.

It's perfect. Focus on that. Let's see. Where was I? Ask a dragon. Okay. It may be that you need to ask the dragons or other spirit beings, but really what others are there, to show you that there are prayer bombs in your area.

I do not know if they appear to the human mind's eye without a spiritual being to help find and focus on them. They probably don't, no. If you see something, summon something. Has this prayer bomb been in your possession the entire time you've been in this person's backyard? Oh, there was a dragon with a beard who handed it to me. Do you have any children's wands to declare, sir? Once cleared, dragons will come

and protect the area. Though they recommend that you grid the area with stones and dedicate it to the Hearn and Gaia. That means Earth. I know that one.ia. That means Earth. I know that one. Right? That means Earth. These prayer bombs

must be how they are reclaiming cities, etc. Etc. And there's a picture of the 24 pizza power. I know we didn't get to it, but the wizard consulting also had a lot of Tree of Life shit on her page. Tree of Life, Tree of Life, different ways of doing it.

And then finish up your post, if you would, please. Oh, right. Sorry. I got to run to work. Hope this makes sense, and that if you find them, you can defuse them. Tashi Dalek and dance in the dragon wind. Okay. This is a serious question.

What happened in that post? This is a serious question. What happened in that post? As far as I can tell, the crazy mind in this person saw a spirit bomb underneath the horse that I guess fell down? Sure. So that person roared like a dragon,

ran around, put a bunch of rocks in a grid, said to the person it was talking to, now everything's fine. Or just to the horse, because who knows if somebody else was there. Sure. Then ran off. No, no. With a kid's bubble wand.

With a sparkly plastic wand. Yes, yes, exactly. Horse was having some health issues, and I thought about the horse, which is animal Reiki. Right. Then I hallucinated dragons, and there was some kind of Christian landmine underneath the horse. and there was some kind of Christian landmine underneath the horse. So I asked the dragons to defuse it, and the energy that was in the prayer bomb I sent to the void or whatever the hell she called it.

Well, this is the only time I've gotten not yelled at for the shit I do, so I might as well make a blog post recommending everyone else does it. Yeah. I'm picturing there are these veterinarians actually helping the horse and working on it, and then in the background, out of focus, she's just dancing around with the wand, thinking she's helping. I like that Isfahan is like our idiot whisperer. Yeah, God, I read it and he understood it better than I did. Well, he had more time to process. JT, there's two things I want you to talk about.

And those two things are the basic magical Aikido process and the underground grid. Now, do you think you can talk about both the basic magical Aikido process and the underground grid? And somehow simultaneously sum it all up alright so this is the basic magical Aikido process in the underground grid if I graduate this class I can move on to the advanced

alright the process is fairly simple if you want to do what I have been doing which doesn't use much ritual or raise a lot of energy, due to my circumstances and the woman upstairs being a psychic spy. Oh dear!

Isn't it amazing how this person is surrounded by people persecuting her? Everyone around me is crazy! I just picture the person upstairs banging on the floor and being like, stop yelling like a dragon at three in the morning! And the other person's like, how do they know they're a psychic spy?

I have come to realize that even though she is mentally challenged, the church she goes to is using her energies to spy out activities in the building. She's a Christian prayer bomb mule! in the building. She's a Christian prayer bomb mule.

People get desperate for money, you know? It's like a bank shot. It's the next DLC for Payday. Alright, so I tried a fancy ritual a couple times and not only felt I was being spied on by her energetically, but she started stamping on the floor and making all sorts of noise.

Told ya. Told ya. I knew it. I'm spellcasting down here! The other scene I picture is like her listening to the floor to try and hear this crazy person yelling, and it's like, did she say something about prayer bombs? I gotta have heard that wrong. And she goes downstairs and listens to the door. Nope, she's yelling about prayer bombs.

The process is fairly simple. How you choose to follow it is up to you. Can I go with not? It's pretty simple. That is pretty simple. Alright, so. First, you set up, quote unquote, silent PSI. That's the name of the product in Look Around You.

The shit that you spray on your... It's the synthetic skin you spray on your ear. Hi, Billy Mays here for silent. All right. So, first you set up the silent, energetically quiet. Hi, Billy Mays here for Silent. All right, so first you set up the silent, energetically quiet, sacred space. You can use the rosy cross or the sealant ritual of Donald Michael Craig. You have to pronounce that last name like Jerry Lewis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it again.

Donald Michael Craig. Craig. All right. Modern McGick, if you like. Oh, that's how you're going to pronounce it. No. I'm going to go with McGick. No, we're going Magic.

McGick. I like McGick. We can't do that. Magic'm going to go with McGick. No, we're going Magic. McGick. We can't do that. Magic is going to keep showing up. We have to deal in this episode we have to deal with M-A-G-I-C-K

as the standard word and anything else is a deviation. This character pronounces it McGick. Oh, okay. Okay, that's fine. All right.

Then protected space. That's a sentence just all by itself. Call in your allies, your guides, your guards, your deities, totems, etc. Are we playing the Gathering now? Yes. I went Starcraft, you went

Magic. It's more of a Warcraft thing, really. Yeah, yeah. Then call in the dragons of the Dragon Growl. Meditate on the Dragonkin card if you wish. Oh, so it is magic, then.

Yes. For what I do, all I use, tool-wise, are a Sword of fire. I have been told that others who clean up the inner planes also use a sword of fire. This Boston pitchman voice is actually turning out pretty well for you now. Yeah. A large amethyst crystal and a child's rainbow glitter wand. Yay!

My truth, I'm not sure you found this article. I'm the skeptical audience plant standing next to him in this infomercial. Wow, it is an amazing coincidence that everything you need to do all this mystical shit is stuff you already have. Every time. This article is insane. I'm going to find

every post with rainbow glitter on it. And document sent to Lemon. That's my Finnish accent. Oh, that was fun. It's a really good Finnish accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have both energy,

mostly rainbow light and violet flame, but my sword uses a very pure flame and mental imagery. Ah. What should I ask the dragons? Ask the dragons to show you either the area you plan to focus on or what they want your help with. You should see darkness all around.

Look in front of you. If you are focusing on a state, a state like Vermont, yeah, like Vermont, New Hampshire, you should see its outlines in a faint yellowish light. Just look at it. Like leopard did?

Look at it. Then realize that's a glow stick you left out and the power's been turned off again. You may see what you feel are prayer bombs. You may see ghoul knives. You are what a dragon the Arthurians down.

They'd love to help you take them down. You do not hesitate to call the Arthurians for help. I am completely lost right now. And another level of crazy gets added there. Yes. Brick, brick, mortar. Brick, brick, mortar. Brick, brick, mortar. I should also probably point out that sentence had two semicolons in it.

Within a parenthetical. Yes. Will you skip down to the paragraph? No, no, no. He needs to read the next sentence. I'm so sorry. Please. Alright, so you may see blobs of light with lots of tentacles. Ooh.

Now it's getting good. Hey. What else might we see? You may see symbols from various rabid reverends who are placing prayer shields to protect against a cult attack from so-called witches. Yeah, Reverend Rabies is just fucking deadly. There isn't even a

antidote for it. We're fucked. Rabbit Reverend's opened up for the damned. And to the people I said... It's amazing how even with the like, the Chi episode and all this stuff, everything

just comes right back to Dragon Ball Z-style attack and defense. Prayer shield. Cult attack from witches. Now that I think about it, I am not sure the deep grid is meant to come closer to the surface. I suspect that once we remove the

patriarchal grid, the new, deeper grid will have an easier time attracting all life to connect with it. So it's like sewer. Oh, yeah, yeah. I love how you can skip half this thing and I'm still at the same level of understanding. Yeah.

It's just assumed you know what a grid is. Oh, the patriarchal grid, keeping the other gender grids down. Non-baronary grids. Non-baronary? Baronary. I'm not a bear. I don't subscribe to the baronary. I got such a

social justice rage, it just bubbled up in my throat. I'm bear fluid. You're either bear or zero. You say you're bear fluid? Yeah. Alright. So, if anyone is very serious about doing the shifting work and dismantling the patriarchal grid

and wants to know more details and maybe work with a few others, she slash he should leave a comment with their email and I will get back to them to discuss things further. No, thank you. If you are curious...

Oh, okay. Well, just saying. Well, for anybody else. Yes, for anybody else who might be interested, if you are curious, Ariel Montserrat of Green Egg Capital, so that's apparently a thing that exists. And the blogtalkradio.com show, Pagans Tonight, Ellipsis Over to Oberon and Ariel.

That's a good title. Yeah, that's a great title. Having an ellipsis in your title that actually goes to something else. Nice and short and catchy. Yeah. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Pagans Tonight. Over to Oberon and Ariel.

Right. So she will be interviewing me Wednesday, October 27th. Below is the link. Two articles about the same subject as this blog were published in the latest Green Egg. Perfect. Great. Come Quads up. We're going to be leaving this site very, very soon.

Oh, no. Yeah, we are going to be leaving this site very, very soon. Oh, no. Yeah, we are. We are. But wait, I haven't heard an idea to deal with the 50-state prayer warrior attack this Hallowmas. You're right! That's a fucking great point! Would you please read the first two paragraphs of that idea and then describe the photo underneath? Hey, guys, it's getting to be Hallowmas soon.

It is. It's the most wonderful time of the year. It's Hallowmas, Charlie Brown. I hear there's going to be 50 state prayer warriors attacking during Hallowmas. Oh, 50 state prayer warriors. Did you hear that on blog talk radio dot something? Yeah.

So I have an idea how to deal with them. Oh, thank God. I've been showed by the dragons. That's how that word works. Yeah. I worked with Ada. A couple of visualizations to use to help shift the upcoming prayer warriors' energies in their attack on each of the 50 states.

Okay. Is this one of those plays where there's like 50 kids and each one represents a different state? It could be. They're each attacking it. My name is Texas. Fuck the pagans. So these can be used alone or as part of a ritual by individuals or groups. The simplest is 13 layers.

That's the simplest? Jesus. Yeah. Well, fuck, there's 50 states. It's math. Yeah, that's simple math. All right, fair enough. One layer for each of the original colonies.

Come on. They need the most protection. Yeah. Yeah. One on top of another. A very strong but very fine mesh of violet light. All right. Sure. Yeah, it's like the plot from Gone in 60 Seconds.

Is it? I have no idea. Yeah. See this violet light webbing as a complete sphere, encompassing the target above and below ground. Be it a group, a city, an area, or a state. Okay. I'm picturing it. I think we should probably focus on the states because, you know,

they're the ones that are attacked. But you want to group the states together. Yeah. Yeah. At the very top place, a glowing orange pentacle. Or let an orange

holographic pentacle image permeate the web. I will not. So the energies definitely get diverted to the webbing. That was really super... So we got to see Rosenthorne describe this picture in Rosenthorne's own words, which is useful-ish.

Come close up. Would you please describe what you see in the picture? What would you describe the picture as? The logo for Nazi Christian Spider-Man cartoon. Yeah! Yeah! I was thinking the worst level of Tempest ever.

Yeah, so... It's a purple circle with a spider web in it, and there's the orange pentagram, and in the middle there's a black silhouette of the it, and there's the orange pentagram, and in the middle there's a black silhouette of the cross, and on the cross is a little swastika. So I guess the Romans sacrificed

the swastika on the cross. Yeah, it really looks like the kind of thing like at a tea party rally, somebody would, this is something that they would put on Obama's forehead. On their posters. They'd have to draw really small to get all that detail in.

Well, I mean, Obama is the 50 state prayer warriors, so... No. Woo! And then, actually, if you scroll down underneath that, it gets even more complex. Because now, at every point of the pentagram, there's also

dragons that are added to it, and then there's like a Simon game that's put on top of it. That's what I was thinking of. It's advanced Simon for five buttons. By the power of clip art, I have the power! No, I mean, there's also the Nazi Simon

button, so, you know. Alright, we've been... Beep the Nazi Simon button, so, you know. Right. All right. We've been... Beep, boop, bop, boop. Heil. Timmy, what the fuck? Heil, Heil, boop. Heil. Heil, Heil, Heil, Heil.

I think he's trying to tell me to... Twist it. Twist it. Bop it. Bop it. Exterminate the Jews. Salute. Salute.

Yeah, the Nazi bop it is just a ring And it only tells when you're high Alright So we've been away from Wait wait wait Hang on Hey Don what comments do you have About Nazi Spider-Man

Well Don sounds a lot like Boots Reingear, I think. Yeah. It's sort of like a bug zapper. I like it. Smiley face. What the fuck? Dawn gets it, you know. It does sort of look like a bug zapper.

Sure. Sure. Swastika. Simon Game Dragons. I mean, to be fair, that does look like Dawn's bug zapper. Yeah, my bug zapper, whenever flies land on it, they hear the flies say, I'm leaving.

We don't have to read it. I don't know what you think the spice of life is or what the blessing of life is, but Rosenthorn has a hint for us here okay please please tell me what JT would you tell me what it is please the spice of life all right greetings and welcome back this will probably be the last post for a while as I am exhausted most of what is applicable yeah yeah yeah whatever skip a paragraph. Okay.

First, even though the quote-unquote American Taliban doesn't use the following book... Jesus! Off to a very strong start here. I wish that you could hear the rev cycles in a blog post. Okay, so we started with the American Taliban Even though the American Taliban doesn't use the following book I say we Harry Potter the following book The Malleus Maleficarum Alright, yeah, whatever

We make movies of it? We kill its parents And then make it fight a great evil Oh, that kind of Harry Potter. They're using Harry Potter as a verb here. And then it stars in shitty slasher movies to try to redefine its queer. No, I think they actually mean write lots of slash fiction about it. Well, I thought just the basic level of make this book popular with kids,

which isn't going to happen because the kid's going to go to a bookstore or whatever and just be like, Hi, can I get the mallet? The mallet? Fuck it. Well, my erotic fanfiction is going to be called The Phallius Phallithicar.

All right, all right, keep going. The Witch's Hammer, Witch's plural hammer, has caused endless misery over the centuries and is still a guide for many. Harry used a basilisk tooth to destroy the energy of Tom Riddle's... Tom Riddle's...

I guess that's plural riddles. It's a Batman villain. Tom Riddle's diary. We can pull the energies out of the infamous quote-unquote witch's hammer. Okay. Are you seriously using Harry Potter plot points as guides for your... Yeah. quote-unquote witch's hammer. Okay. I'm sure this is... Are you seriously using Harry Potter plot points

as guides for your... Yeah. Yep. That's what he's doing. Yes. Fucking spoilers, man. Oh, no. A little bit in the same paragraph.

It's a sentence that starts with, start filling the image. Yeah, but how else, other than using Harry Potter, how else are we going to know how to deal with horcruxes? Wow. Wow. Yeah.

Wow. You're welcome. There's a good, I don't know, 15% of the podcast. They got really happy right there. Yeah. I guess listeners, I meant. Anyway, start filling. Start filling the image with violet white light do this repeatedly until it no longer radiates bad vibes

bummer bummer bummer bummer everything's cool man and then and then and then roll it in some wet leaves and dirt yeah yeah put it on a pillow and play it to Beach Boys' pet sounds. This may only take a slight bit of the negativity out of it, but if hundreds of people do it, the energies behind the book may be diminished until others replace the hate and fear. Sure, I guess they may. Whatever. Works for me.

Take the picture of the MM and place it in a homemade spirit trap to trap the malevolence spirit within, turning it into an intellectual shell of a book. If I can upload the artwork. Ah! Oh, so it'll instantly become written by Dean Kuntz. Zing.

I'm getting a plane to high-five you for that joke. If I can upload the artwork, I can show you examples. I have a spirit trap inspired by Ceremonial McGick and Jason Miller. It was the other character that says McGick. Oh, alright.

Since I'm now mainly working with dragons, I'd invoke dragons as the spirit keepers, though you can invoke the lords of light and dames of darkness. Jesus Christ. Alliteration is important. As you can see in my CV, I've been mostly working with dragons.

And then there's a lot more words. There's just a lot more words. Tarot, dragons. Let's talk about dragons lot more words. There's just a lot more words. Tarot, dragons. Let's talk about dragons so much. I love the idea. I picture like when the dragon is like hearing the summons from the astral plane, it's like, I hear your bidding. Oh, fuck, it's this guy again. Regal, can you

take this guy this time? I'm fucking sick of this. Last time I laid stones in a grid and just sat there for like an hour. So there's a lot more words So there's a lot more words. There's a lot more words. And in fact, I think I mentioned it, but Mantra put together this document. If you go to thefpl.us,

you can see a link to that document. There's a whole lot more shit. Lots and lots and lots of texts. Lots and lots of dragons. But we need to go back to Wizard Large Consulting because I have a little blog post I want to read to you. It has zero comments. This is for March 28th, the day before my birthday.

And this is farewell to my last establishment job. Well, here it is. My last day hyphen shift. I'm sorry. That's not true. My last day forward slash. I'm sorry, that's not true. My last day forward slash shift at the bookstore. 7 p.m. cannot come soon enough for me.

Supposedly the USA is made up of self-made people and is the land where doing your own thing is encouraged, but after struggling with my taxes yesterday, I think that is just good PR and not reality. Somehow business, like science, to be fair, likes to stay obscure and incomprehensible. How do businesses make money? So wait, so wait, so wait, slow down. So somebody wants a book.

No, no, no. You give me money and I, then you have the book. No, wait, I have the book. Shit. Shit. I can get this. I can get this. I make money. God damn it. So you get the goods and services.

I get the money. How do I get the goods and services? But I then have to put the money in this box and then somebody else gives me money later? I don't get it. Where are the dragons? That's how it's to be fair. I've been asked what I am not selling.

I've been asked why I am not selling my incenses, oils, powders, and herbals yet. By who? I am asked all the time. By people in the bookstore. It comes down to trying to make sense of all the business, financial and tax material. I do not want to be shut down before I start, though I'm not about being a slave to it either.

Several weeks at the farm, working on the land to get the place ready to sell, and then the career gets going. In the worst case scenario, I have to get another PT job, but by then, the feds may have raised the minimum wage to the level I am leaving right now. And it took six to seven years to get there. Which somehow is a failure on my part. What the hell?

Magic has to come down through the earth plane. It usually takes the easiest route to get to get to one to get to one that's that's the worst use of one we've ever seen in this podcast the easiest route to get to one so it is better to be in surroundings where energy flows smoother those of the bookstore work different energies and their flow is very different from mine we work different levels two of the new is very different from mine. We work different levels. Two of the new hires are already mastering the stuff I'm struggling with. One woman, who's always bypassed good magical and spiritual material,

it's called ignored, I've loved working the counter with her as long as I got great stuff for free, has read tarot. I wonder why you were fired. It's free! It's free! I work here! Hey, it's not my fault. I don't know how business works. Not guilty. The spiritual material is just like,

I have an imaginary video game here. You want it? Oh, boy. Dragons love the game. I was not taken seriously, but that is okay as no matter how much I tried I could never fit in with their world of video and computer games. Netflix

and geekdom. This person cannot fit in with someone who is into video and computer games. Yeah, they're into dragons and magic. They had no common ground. Yeah. And by the way, that's why she made a website and registered her domain name.

I just love the conversation. Like, the person writing this is, like, talking to the other person. It's like, yeah, I got to apprentice level in destruction magic, and I was able to control the dragon. It's like, oh, you got that far in Skyrim? And they're like, Skyrim? So Kevin Spacey comes to you through the internet? I don't understand.

I'm just on old-fashioned bookworm who loves her computer. Get off of her! What the hell? Oh! You're just some old lady like... I'd hoped for a couple days between the end of this job and getting things going so I could take a vacation retreat. It looks like I only... You're going to take one now.

It looks like I only get Sunday, semicolon, Saturday I'm part of the spiritual class marathon, then have to clean the apartment. Sunday I can hide and spend the day doing food, doing foodo, mio os, mantra. It's like Klingon or something. I was about to say that. Felt like a Skyrim spell. I don't think you pronounced that apostrophe correctly.

like a Skyrim spell. I don't know how to pronounce that apostrophe correctly. I would like to do about 50,000 mantras before I'm completely financially on my own. The universe pays her per mantra. Does the word financially mean what she thinks it is?

Let me start on my first mantra. I can be really successful, I just need to get started. I'm just taking Let me start on my first mantra. I can be really successful. I just need to get started. I'm just taking my time. I need a vacation. Shut up, Dad.

So, I wish all of the store well, and may they all find their happiness. I'm going to manifest mine now. I think she's going to go masturbate. That was pretty passive-aggressive right there. I really like that she's too much of a flake to work at a pagan bookstore. That is quite a flake. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Also, the pagan bookstore is an establishment. Oh, yeah. Down with the man working at the pagan bookstore. I do like that the dragon in that picture is going like, no! And they're losing the job, too. Isfahan?

Yes? I noticed that you're into Magic with a K. I certainly am. You're also into Marvel and DC characters. Oh, yay. I wonder if you have a blog post

that can marry the two. I do. Okay. Here. All right, guys. Now, buckle up. Here is a proposed Marvel DC character magical pantheon. Jesus.

Jesus has nothing to do with this. No, no, no. The only bearded guy in the room is me. Jesus. Jesus has nothing to do with this. No, no, no. The only bearded guy in the room is me. I'm sure. The following is a proposed magical pantheon to use for magic. Magical pantheon to use for magic.

You may find other characters to be more appropriate for your needs, but these energetically fit what I practice. I'm making the assumption you are already a magic user. Fair enough. Yep. So you can add this pantheon to your deck. I mean, your collection, so to speak.

I'm not heavily into the Marvel DC comic world, as I have too much catching up to do since I lost track of things for about 20 years. Just things. Just everything. So that doesn't change much? Like, Black Luth catching up to do since I lost track of things for about 20 years. Just things, just everything. It's not really ever changed much. Like, Lex Luthor, like, bad guys, good guys,

I'm pretty sure it's the same. Aquaman still lives in the water. Netflix. Not knowing anything hasn't stopped me from creating bullshit before. Yeah. However, there's so much crossover between the Marvel

and the DC comic book multiverses that the following beings... Yeah, that's legally problematic. Okay, stop saying nerd things again. Wait, no! The podcast just imploded! Where can I go from here?

Sorry, I'll resume. Here lies the F-Class podcast. Well, actually, there was only the one time... Due to the ban on nerd jokes. There was only the one time, and it led to the Amalgam Universe, which has a... Oh, God! Never mind, stop making nerd jokes. If I'm editing this episode, I'm just going to fade you out.

Also, I could say more things then. Well, the Amalgam Universe, first it blended with Wayne. The following beings should be able to work moderately in harmony. I choose each one to represent certain energies that I felt were important, plus the element involved was important too. You following?

Sure. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm female, so most of these are male, for balance. However, I was fortunate to find these characters. Some I remember from my childhood, and some are new but intriguing. Another semicolon. I hope you find them of interest.

I'll update this once I get sigils made. Holy shit! Why does your dumb thing have to preamble this fucking long? I made pagan comic book shit. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. I think I should skip the circle cross thing and just get down to the characters. Yeah, because that's more preamble.

Jesus. Yep. And it is... Air is to will. Hal Jordan, as the first Green Lantern, certainly represents a strong will. Use the Green Lantern symbol to bring in the energies

of air and will. This brings focus and concentration into your thinking. Rationality, logic, determination, mental flexibility, quickness and agility, among other airy aspects. Like a strong gust of wind, problems can be overcome by wearing away the block.

However, learning what supports the problem or obstacle is useful. Air opposes Earth. What do you think about that choice, Boots? Green Lantern, air? He was pretty good, actually. Alright. My Will's spirit animal is Ryan Reynolds. Okay. Well, the next one's a total layup.

Fire equals to imagine. Fire star is certainly a fiery young woman, but she knows how to control fire. Fire equals to imagine. Fire star is certainly a fiery young woman, but she knows how to control fire. Use her flaming glasses as a symbol to bring in the energies of fire and imagination. You're like the voice clip in a cheap toy, like those old figures that would just go,

fire, fire, fire. Boots, what do you think? Firestar? Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, why not? See, better than, like, Phoenix? There wasn't Phoenix? Fiery person.

That's so funny. All right. It's fine. If the Phoenix is a bit complicated, I wouldn't really... All right, fair enough. What about Water, then? Okay, Water is to dare. Prince Namor, the Submariner...

Oh, that's where that guy got that name from. Okay. ...is certainly daring. He has to have a sigil created, unless you can find a symbol in his comic series that would work. Okay. This brings daring, flow, trusting in self, psychic abilities and powers, healing on some level, and condensation. All right, Boots, what do you think? Oh, Aquaman.

Aquaman, yeah, totally. Okay. Okay, what about Earth? Earth is to be silent. Captain America learned silence during his military training. What? What?

That's kind of a stretch. I imagine that Captain America never shouts out dumb shit all the time. And shouting out dumb shit is certainly not encouraged during military training. Steve Rogers is in there like, he's like, what's the first step to becoming a super soldier? And then a scientist just puts a finger over his lips like... Shut up.

Sit down and shut up. Quiet, honey, quiet. Use his capital S shield as a symbol to bring energies in. That's what shields do, right? No, it's not. That's not even a comic book thing. It's just that's not what a shield does. Shield and funnel are the same word, I think.

Energies brought in include reliability, consistency, faithfulness, grounding, physical strength, sensation, concentration, and the ability to manifest. Ah, yeah. Energies here build blocks to problems. The root of a situation may be found in this element.

Earth opposes air. What do you think, Captain America, Earth? The classic Captain America Green Lantern. Why the fuck wouldn't she pick the thing? That's what, yeah! It's like, is he made of rock? He's made of rock, right? Yeah, like she went for the layup with Firestar.

P.S., I would like to point you to the update, May 30th, 2014. Oh. So, I think it must be because she just learned about the thing. Or somebody else had the same concern you did. She went to page two in her superhero's Google search. Oh, there's someone that fits even better. Yeah, so literally

the things that we just said. Oh, wait, no, the thing. Never mind. Also, that's a great first sentence there. Spirit is alive, well and kicking, but sometimes commas are good to use.

Okay, John? Do we need magic or the honeybee? The correct answer is that we need both. We need both magic and the honeybee That was some Alice in Wonderland shit right there It's like you just have to stop

and try and process a sentence Sort of a QI question Look at the back of your hand I have a question for thee If you see magic or the honeybee Magic and the honeybee Why we need both Yesterday Magic and the honeybee. I renewed both. Yesterday, while at the farm,

I had an interesting encounter. When I was a kid, I was scared of the... Hymenoptera. The hymenoptera family. Bugs that sting. And I had a honeybee stroll over my glasses right by my open eye. Hello, my baby!

Hello, my honey! A few years ago, when I heard we were losing our pollinators, I started giving Reiki to any honeybee that would accept it. No, thank you! The first time I gave Reiki to a honeybee, the Deva, or Oversoul, came through and was very angry. Oh, yeah. We talked things through,

and I've been giving Reiki to them when they ask ever since. When they ask. That was how I ended up with a Hearn the Hunter contract, even though I am not a Gardnerian witch. When they ask. I just love all of the assumptions this person is making about the reader right now. Fuck!

Okay. Well, yesterday, now it gets interesting. Well, yesterday, I heard a loud buzz in my right ear. I noticed a honeybee flew to the door as I was opening it. I thought it wanted Reiki, so I started to give it some, but it flew onto my hand.

It took a short walk while I heard in my mind's ear, We remember you. Oh dear! Oh my god! This is getting terrifying. I was grateful for that, as I've trying to figure out how to honor the spirits of the land there while warning them that things are going to change

soon. Someone's gonna end up dead here soon. Sorry, I just had to digest that word salad for a second. They deserve to die. Jesus Christ. Stop this bullshit. You deserve to die. Jesus Christ. Stop this bullshit. You know it's wrong.

Somebody's going to be spraying their lawn, and she's just going to jump out with a machine gun. No, she's going to jump out with a kid's bubble wand and a fire sword. No, and honeycomb cereal. I don't know if Lemon's going to agree with me, but I think it would be hilarious if we just skipped from the end of the first paragraph to the last paragraph. Yeah, I'm with that.

We're in a Doctor Strange animated movie. Oh, dear. Wow, this is a great Andy Rooney game. A fellow doctor at the hospital tells Doctor Strange that was time that he gave something back. Well, it is time that we reconnect as a way of giving back. We have run

roughshod over this planet for too long and now must face the results of our arrogance. Yet when we connect, we discover that we are no longer alone. Dance with dragons. Why did you need to invoke a pop culture reference to say

it's time I gave something back? By the way, can I do, real quick, can I do the Andy Rooney game with this whole article? Yeah, absolutely, please. Okay, I get what you meant. Okay, okay. Yesterday, while at the farm, I had an interesting encounter.

Dance with dragons. It works. Oh, my God. Okay. F plus. Yes. What did we learn from all of this? I learned that technically magic should work just like science.

It really should. Yeah. It should. I mean, that's kind of the point. You know, it's a whole new millennium. I'm sorry, willennium. And we're getting to that point. So, you know, hopefully, hopefully,

when people get more involved, that'll happen. I hope so. Anyone else on anything? I learned what to eat for Hallowmas. What should you eat for Hallowmas? Applesauce, whipped cream, pumpkin spice blend, Lifesavers, cashews, and Hershey's hugs and kisses, and candy coins and jelly beans all mixed together in a bowl.

Hey. That could be on all recipes. That's not you, like, inventing something. That's not you, like, inventing something. That's actually... That's actually there, yes. That's actually text. Yeah. What's that delightful, delicious, appetizing thing called?

Um, crowd die? Crowdie. Wow. Crow die! It will kill a crow, or a crowd. It will kill a crow or a crowd. It will indeed. I've been infected by the crow die virus. It'll kill a party anyway.

Hey, I brought butter rum lifesavers and whipped cream and applesauce. Alright, I'm out of here. I've learned that you can type so many words and yet not get typing right. Yeah. Yeah. This is

one of the things that's... I'm just saying, we see bad typing, but this has a metric fuckton of typing in it. And it's just amazing how are they still fucking up. Yeah, Mantra took us to two different blogs. The Wizard at Large

consultancy, and then the... And why consultancy. And then the... And why consultancy? Was consultants taken? Anyway. I think she... I don't know. There was consulting done.

Consultancy. So we went there. We went to the Dragon's Gale. And between them, lots and lots and lots of text. But still, like, text by people that are confused by how the English language works. You know, they don't know if it's an art or a science. There's a lot of presupposition, like, the stuff that they're just spouting off

is just common knowledge, and they don't explain what half the stuff they're talking about is. Like, they never explain what gritting is or any of those other verbs. I mean, to be honest, you're supposed to consult your reference dragon. Can I ask, so, a

serious question here. Did any of you, like, as 13-year-olds, did any of you do the, like, pagan thing for a year? Not me. Nope. No. I was I was hardcore Jesus freak. Alright right fine yeah i'll go i'll go out on that limb i i uh i did that because you know christianity is dumb and shit like that

uh and it's it's super like it's like even if you have the enthusiasm and you have like that kind of like rebellion thing the thing that i i'm pretty sure i liked the most as a teenager was the idea of the uh it's called a pentacle in the pagan religion like with the pentacle and the thing the thing that's super fun about that is that you get to wear something that totally reads as a satanic symbol to everybody and then you get to go uh no it's actually doesn't actually, doesn't mean Satanist, means something else. I really think that was probably the thing that I was most gravitated towards.

No, they're butter rub life Satanists. But yeah, so I remember really trying to like, I'm going to follow this bullshit. Cause, and it's so hard because like, like everyone that you talk to is like personally like repellent. And then like, and then like when you're like, when you're

actually like, like trying to read a book about like, you know, Oh, you know, meditation is good or whatever. Like, like it'll, it'll be like, you know, you know meditation is good or whatever like like it'll it'll be like you know there'll be the one chapter that's like hey you know maybe you should just like think about your life and try to improve yourself and then the next chapter will be like oh also build an altar and get some daggers and shit because like spells are part of this thing and if you're not okay that spells are part of this thing you need to get the fuck out of this yeah that's the thing that gets me about, like, the pagan stuff and New Age and all that stuff.

It's pretty easy to be, like, an asshole fundamentalist Christian. You go to one place once a week. You got a lot of people that got your back. Yeah, exactly. And, oh, you have to get a book that places give out free and you don't even have to read it. And you just have to be bigoted in weird ways that are acceptable to the other weird ways that, you know,

are acceptable to the other people at that place you go to. This is like, you got to remember all this bullshit. You got to do like crafts like you were talking about. There's so much work into this. I'm like, why does anybody stick with it? Like, it's so much easier to just, yeah, I don't know. I just, I'd never get that. It's just so much work into it.

And one more point on this specific person, the Wizard at Large consultancy. I feel like you are in a market that's perhaps a little bit crowded. I feel like the Earth is not clamoring out for like, oh, hey, I'll talk to you about my spiritual reliefs and do a cleansing. That's not something where demand exceeds supply.

No. And even if it did, Like, that's not something where demand exceeds supply. No, yeah. And even if it did, like, could you even make a living doing that? I don't see it. Not at those prices, especially. There's also a slight persecution complex coming through in the consultancy. Yeah, which, you know, yeah, like I said, I think that's probably a fun part. I love the description off to the right. She has many bios, but one of the bios is,

hey, I didn't know what another kin was, but then I discovered what another kin was, and a psychologist told me I'm another kin, so I'm another kin. Yeah. Yep. Well, that's how other kins get made. Psychiatrist, all right. They learn what it is, and it sounds cool. Your dealer is a psychologist, right?

The website is always thefbl.us. I hang out on a forum called Ball Pits, where sometimes I post comparative analysis about two different television shows. I'm still working my way through that. I'm using only myself, but I'm very amused by them. It's a $10 registration fee, but you should do it because the community is good. The $10 registration

fee does a pretty good job of keeping out the chaff. And it also keeps the server running. Shit ain't free. Boots and I split the money and spend it on cocaine. Or the things that run this podcast. Oh, fuck! Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I meant to say. Like you said. Like you said, cocaine. Or the things that run this podcast. Oh, fuck! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I meant to say. Like you said. Like you said, cocaine. Cocaine, yeah, yeah. Also, I am a cop and you are under arrest. Oh, shit. Alright, we're out of here. You said you were going to tell me. Thanks a lot. Bye-bye. Oh, fuck. I should have saved the Boston Pitchman voice for this one. Yeah.

Oh, well. That was gone by. Bummer. All right, so... All right, let's stop and start over again. Okay, Lemon, what are we reading tonight? Wizard at Large. Oh, I'm tired.